04/30/2019

Dear Lord

Though you remind me I cannot calm the storms around me in this life; I can have control within my own. Reminding those who listen to do not be dismayed by anything that transpires; but seek your face above all things.

If only in this human form I could remember daily, minute by minute.

You are my sustainer, maker of all things, senses and beings.

Show me which direction Father I am to go next. You know where I am; You know where I have been. May the light you have given me shine where it is needed as I walk this journey.

Protect and guide my family, friends, loved ones and all connections I come to pass. Good or Evil; may you shine within their hearts. May it be only your justice, your love and always the abundance of mercy and grace fill us daily

Thank you for this day you have given, thank you fall all that lies ahead. Remind me of my blessings when I am consumed by this world and all that transpires.

Through the blood you shed on that cross for sinners as I to live. Thank you Jesus!

James 1: 2 Trials and Temptations

²Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds,

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

⁹But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

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04/29/2019

Dear Lord

Thank you for this day; even though I could barely get up out of bed this day. Thank you.

Though I am not ready to move; feeling like something is upon me.

Thank you, for opening these eyes of mine and giving me breath and the ability to get up and do what it is to be done this day.

May this congestion triggered from working out in the property mowing and working around yesterday pass quickly.

May the laziness from a good sleep last night fade away and my needed energy level spring to the top of this vessel you have blessed me with~

May you know how thankful I am; for the awareness and the blessings.

Dear Father

I lift the many brothers, sisters, family and friends up to you. I lift them up so they personally have their own acknowledgement of you.

The prayers of healing, salvation, guidance, recovery of loss, love, protection true relationship with you Jesus and all that is unspoken on the hearts of so many.

Understanding in such a confusing world among us where your will is so needed. Underestimating the abilities to get lost while trying to help so easily.

Father for me; for all I am connected. You know this heart better than I or anyone that I connect. Yet more importantly you know my soul. It is for eternity!

Thank you for all you have done, all you will do.

All that I am or ever will be, because of the blood your precious son Jesus Christ shed for all of us. I am free, I am well and I am yours! May I never forget that as I struggle with my dreams I pray to come true; yet reality reminds me no matter what; I am who I am and blessed because of you.

Hebrews 12:28-29(NIV)

²⁸Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, ²⁹for our “God is a consuming fire.”^[^a^]

Psalm 119:105 (NIV) נ Nun

¹⁰⁵Your word is a lamp for my feet,
a light on my path.

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Lord

clearly I am accountable for my own actions; but it is what is not been done, never met, never until this past year even actively thought about.

So why is this? Why have I come there and what is the purpose. Jesus died so we could be free; His love, was sufficient.

Yet the deep craving need for the Sweet Soul King deep within my soul; that no matter what I just cannot shake or let go.

What is it Father God? What must I do; What is it you want from me? What is it you want me to know?

I did not ask for this; Though I may have dreamt about it over time. But is that not what we are supposed to do by design.

Damned if I do; Damned if I don't.

Yes I need to know the future; every single bit.

Father reveal the truth please. Have this dream come to life or pick me up and help me move through and just let me be.

I cannot do lies, I cannot hide; I cannot continue to beg, continually asking what if or why.

I need to move though this to serve, to have what ever is left of this life.

Show me how Jesus, show me the way. I never planned to be where I am today.

Agape Love; I have always prayed.

In love desperately with what seems to be my forever King; every single day or night. There is nothing that makes it go away. This hurts; no lie; no control in some ways.

Sadness and dismay for what I may never be able to share, do or say.

Dear Lord please save me again I pray.

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04/28/2019

Dear Father;

Thank you for all that I am and all that I can be.

As I awake and the words come streaming the windows and swirl around the maze of this souls mind. I am well aware; I may not have chosen anything in my days of youth. I may have been ignorant to much; and even as a young child not deserved any of what was on that road in life.

I may even now; even walk with you still not choose the right direction or path. However; I know there is nothing in this world that can consume me through the end unless you allow it.

You have been with me before I was ever in the womb of my mother. You will be with me through the days I leave this earth and then with my soul throughout eternity. Dear Lord, Thank you for never giving up on me.

You Father; have a way of always being right there with me, preventing me from future harm or pulling me out from harm’s way. Even on those occasions, Father as I tried to quit this world.

I forget nothing long term Jesus; even with my short term yesterdays so full I am lucky to remember what direction to go. From my entire reckless not caring, you must live dangerously if you have a life at all teenager perspective.

To where this universe had a way of bringing out everything that did or never did transpire in my days; reducing me to less than that grain of sand on any beach.

Each day you fill me up; some even today I allow the world to overwhelm me. Yet; you pull me back reminding me of the love and hope. Thank you for your mercy and grace.

I will never be unable to not make mistakes; this I am sure; I will always be clinging to and praying for that deep agape love for my remaining days on this journey. Even knowing it is only you and your son Jesus are the truth, the light and the way to such promise. Yet to dream I am blessed.

Father I ask you to please forgive me; for those I have transgressed against. Most of all Lord; I forgive all who have transgressed against me and all I am connected. Though I do not recall ever a time I purposely wanted to harm or take advantage of anyone or anything. I am sure I have.

I ask for your guidance and protection for myself, my family, my friends and all your children and my connections. Protect those doing your will; protect and guide those where their hearts are bigger than their common sense, which includes me Father.

I have been lost in my dream Jesus; I pray your will, your love, mercy and grace. Guide me and all that will ever come to pass.

Thank you for this, even though many will never understand.

I thank you for loving and living within me.

Lamentations 3:22-26 (NIV)

²²Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail. ²³They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness. ²⁴I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.” ²⁵The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
    to the one who seeks him;²⁶it is good to wait quietly
    for the salvation of the Lord

Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

⁸Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

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In the world of the great hustle.

There are winners and losers. Perspective is everything!

Though it is when you don't know what you don't know; that leads you to the ultimate destination.

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04/27/2019

Lord

Thank you for this day; no matter what time of day or wee hours you open my eyes. May the words given have meaning for all that is good somewhere?

As I come before you each time Lord; may I never get complacent~

You are all things; thank you for considering the speck that I am and all I am connected to serve and live with all your blessings. May we never forget, no matter what situation where the air we breathe comes from!

Lord you know my heart; you know what is deep inside. Thank you

As I recapture these passing thoughts.

12am (Twitter) log

In the land that once was filled with hope, dreams and love. Flashes of days gone by where promise, respect, loyalty and energy flowed through the skies.

Replaced; now by suffering, hunger, misfortune and shame while the world turns a blind eye.

We think we are entitled, taking whatever we want; until repercussions and fallout impacts our own. Then we cry out for unfairness; bullying, demanding like we have rights to the throne.

The good news is. We got it all wrong. Cause Jesus the Prince of Peace is coming back and God of all the heavens and earth still wears the only true crown.

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Love me for me

Not for what I can do for you

Love me for me

Not what I can look like or do not look like

God your word is pure; “katharo” which means “clean, pure, unstained, either literally, ceremonially, or spiritually; guiltless, innocent, upright.” Referring to which is “without mixture; separated (purged, clean (pure)” because it is unmixed (without undesirable elements).” Thank you God! As we come up out of that water and we walk with you, you have purified us through the blood of your only son Jesus Christ.

Love beyond all love; mercy and grace beyond all measure.

I so wish I learned of this love in my young age; I so wish the world knew how to love each other from the inside out.

Although, I have not been a vain person; never really looking at myself as all that. I still remember when I would so try to dress and be things to impress others to like or love me.

I see how the world looks at each of our flesh temples you have given; as just meat selections.

The best cut, color, and shape goes first. Even so; only later to be chewed up and discarded. While some are just left to clean up the messes or live broken hearted.

To love from the inside out, comes from knowing you God without out any doubts.

Yet this world, still today has some sort of competitions or games to play.

Leaving many know happy with anything they may have. Just many times walking around feeding negativity, feeling depressed or sad.

Thank you Jesus, for showing me; what is meaningful; lasting for eternity.

Thank you for allowing me to know the difference of all that is temporary.

No matter what comes; or what does not. Thank you my Jesus, Thank you my God!

His Truth

John 17:20-23 (NIV) Jesus Prays for All Believers

²⁰“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²²I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)

²⁹He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
³¹but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

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04/26/2019

Father God

Thank you for this day and thank you, for giving my brother another full year of life; please be with him always Jesus.

As we work through the storms of life, may the rains wash us clean and fill us with the growth of hope in you.

As this world is filled with so much unknown and we teeter on the waves of should and should not’s.

Let it be only your perfect will that consumes and guides us.

Thank you for this day we are given; may we see the light in all situations; may we be the light when we cannot see it.

Father as I lift all prayer needs up to you; I need not call them out.

You know each soul, desire, need and transgression.

May our hearts never be bitter; may we all be accountable and seek the forgiveness only you can fulfill to be filled with your love and guidance.

Dear Lord our children of this world are the future.

Please show us the way to give them hope, love, protection and desire to stand up and walk with you.

There is so much healing at so many levels needed in this world. Lord,

Please bless those in dark places; using all those, you call sons and daughters to shine the light for your will.

May we never forget where we come from; but use the lessons for all that is good. May we always remember every blessing belongs to you.

You give and you take away as you see fit. With purpose and just cause. May we never hold bitterness, when it happens. May we cling to you and all that is pure and good.

Thank you Father for this day; thank you for your Son Jesus.

Romans 12: (The Message) BibleGateway.com)

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

³I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

^4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.

^6-8If you preach, just preach God’s Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don’t take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don’t get bossy; if you’re put in charge, don’t manipulate; if you’re called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don’t let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

^9-10Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

^11-13Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

^14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.

^17-19Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”

^20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

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04/25/2019

Lord thank you for this day

As I look up to the sky past the trees in amazement of the wisps of beauty you placed in the sky. The wonderment of planes flying past, birds in the sky or even the ducks that I walk past as I stroll.

The beauty that surrounds us if only we look past all that can rob us from your blessings.

It is hard Father; this I know, as I struggle daily with many things that just keep coming. There never seems to be enough time to filter things out. You know right, wrong, bad, good. Needed not needed. It all just keeps coming at us.

However, in the midst of all the noise; I am grateful for you; I know even when I forget. You hold all your sons and daughters close and if we allow the breakthroughs come.

I do not pray for good fortune or fancy things. I appreciate all I am-allowed; even if I do work long and hard. I deserve nothing more or nothing less than any other soul in this universe. Sure bad intentions deserve less in the eyes of the world, including my own.

My prayers are for healing Father; for all the souls in need. Physically, emotionally. Prayers of courage and strength; may we all see with the heart of Jesus.

How awesome for me it would be if my hearts desires were met; how blessed am I now and to imagine what abundant favor I would be given. Selfishly to beat myself up that I could never have such a promise. Yet knowingly accepting and seeking your will be done in my life and all those I am connected Father God.

I have come a very long way in this journey and know it is not about me. Even when I forget my place. Nevertheless, I am forever grateful you bring me back and fill me with the love for more of you deeper and more lasting than anything this world has to offer.

Thank you for all that was, all that is and all that is to come.

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04/24/2019

Thank you Jesus

For you have given me air, sight, sound, feeling, and taste for more of this world every day you get me up.

Though things may be fading over time, and reflect the blemishes life brings;

With sight sometimes showing too much, or leaving me hanging. When you pulled me from the pit of self destruction; showing me what hope feels like. You gave me a love that will last throughout eternity.

Now you are teaching me to trust through all the uncertainty. As I am all about what is real; no games, no special deals. Do not waste my precious time; for I have not enough and must draw that line.

Though in this flesh life I may find the world to be large and cold; it is you Jesus.

You who sustains each heartbeat and footstep you guided and allowed me to forge through. Removing so many voids, so much hurt and anger. Teaching me the difference of self sufficiency, wants and needs.

You allowed me to find myself, and just when I was very comfortable you pulled me out of the desert. Gave me control when you revealed piece by piece my story and where I came from.

Jesus; as you continue to slowly expose the difference of my value in and for you and that of what the world offers. You let me know you are never far away.

For even when I allow my faulted human spirit to forget whose I am; and what you have done this far. You still allow me to be blessed beyond all deserving.

I may not know what next; and I may fight with myself and push away of what I do not understand; knowingly, I try to stay detached as it is far easier to adjust without, than feel the loss over and over.

You Father are with me always. Thank you Jesus, for each new day you tell me to get up, not yet; you are not done.

Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

¹⁰He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

Romans 8:1 (NIV) Life Through the Spirit

8 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

Psalm 119:105 (NIV)

¹⁰⁵Your word is a lamp for my feet,
a light on my path

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4/23/2019

Thank you Father for this new day; thank you for my big sister; may her birthday today be special for her with abundant blessings and love. May she be protected and comforted for all that she has going on in her world.

Lord as I was reached out to late last night and again in the early morning hours. Please be with Lisa during her cancer diagnosis and healing from surgery; please be with her daughter Jennifer feeling the strain the world has to bring when things go wrong in this world. Please be with the baby nephew and cousin that is not even two years old yet; and now in the hospital with second degree burns. Lord you know all things; be with the entire family during this season of anguish.

Be with the many Lord; my family, my friends; those I do not really know. Please hear the unspoken cries and those that are wailing. Father your will, mercy and love be with them all.

Lord though words, and phrases always come; though I think too deep in some cases and not enough others. Thank you! Please be it your will not my own that you have me move forward with in this life.

My flesh is weak and no different than any other good soul on this planet. My dreams may be unique or specific; but no different. We all want and desire something Lord. Many times it does not have you in the equations. Please guide me in your will Father God; not my own. How easily I can just hide in the desert somewhere and not deal with the layers that are before me.

Hear my heart Dear Jesus; save me from myself; and all that is not within your will. I pray Father only your perfect gifts be any distractions I have.

I pray all that you are over my loved one’s as they belong to you. I pray all that can be for those in the shadows trying to find you. May your perfect love and will be done in all things.

Thank you Jesus for all you were, all you are and all you ever will be.

Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

Psalm 141:8 (NIV)

⁸But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign Lord;
in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death. your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 16:11 (NIV)

¹¹You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
------------------ When the layers are heavy
When the layers are heavy, what do you do?
Push out; push away instead of run closer; I do how about you?
When the layers are heavy of day-to-day
All the worlds stuff; people, places, things all come what may.

The overwhelming business of work for your career
The undermining obstacles that chatter constantly far or near

The need to know what is for certain; because of fearThe pain you feel of things not going right

The pain you feel of those you love suffering in plain sight

No matter how much you believe in our Father; maker of Heaven and Earth

Sometimes you cannot shake the distrust; or need never again to be hurt

When the layers are, heavy and you are all alone

When you try to do what is right for the Kings throne

Thinking forward, thinking in the past; you wonder how long these layers will last.
When the layers are heavy and you feel at any moment, you will just crash

When these layers are heavy, you always have great advice for all others

Even when you feel like you cannot breathe and at times, you are smothering

Stand tall; stand true that is all one can do; knowing God has this holding faith tried and true. For tomorrow is never promised, let will be alone. Get face down just like you encourage everyone.

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04/22/2019

That of what binds one’s thoughts and actions are like that of a habit or addiction.

Person, place or things; or even that of love in humanity; in the end what consumes you where at times you think if you do not have it, unable to touch whatever it is; cannot be there to help or just be with them. You start feeling too much; knowing you will surly go mad.

We chase so many dreams in this world; sometimes not even realizing we are doing so. For this on those days we do; becomes sometimes sad.

In Christ to be first you must be last; noting there will never be a greater sacrifice than His alone. As He died to set us free; we must turn from the callings in the world of those things He does not ordain or bless. Stop chasing the feelings that overwhelm us; put away the deep desires, unless God makes it real.

You try to do what is right; even knowing in this world there is no end in sight of all that keeps coming. So to prevent damage, you must choose. It is not about someone winning or losing. Unless of course you’re day to day impacts and what you are losing; it is that of your soul; when ultimately Christ paid the price so we would never need to get that low.

There is nothing wrong with loving one; nothing wrong with being connected at the soul. However what does not belong to you; should never be a goal. What does not reveal what is true what is real; should never be the bargaining chip or any kind of agreement or deal.

We were not made to be alone; however never should we randomly roam, never should we invade even a glimpse of any others home.

Take up your cross; bow to the only true throne. For the King of Kings; Prince of Peace will always have open arms to welcome you back home. No matter what is no matter what isn’t, no matter how good, no matter how bad. Jesus is with us; for this we are never alone.

It is not an easy journey on foot, mind’s eye or traveling in some vehicle bus, train, plane or car. It just seems the closer you think you are getting; eyes wide open one day waking up to realize you are not near in fact; the anticipation you feel is misguided for a distance of what you cannot do alone is more than the average miles far.

How heavy the load, oh life can be; wanting that forever endlessly. All for this in this human form alone, no help, no affirmation, no simple brief resolution in site; as you try holding on with all your might.

You must consider and only do what is right. Realign your mind; any thoughts to be.

The living God is within; he will give you courage, strength and guidance, have faith, never stop praying and someday you will see.

What is done; is done. This too you will overcome. Just remember those future steps of this world and protect all of what matters most; even if you must run. Run and listen to the only begotten son.

John 8:36 (NIV)

³⁶So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

²¹Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

John 10:27 (NIV)

²⁷My sheep listen to my voice

----------- Only the Cross Has the Final Answer

To hold all that is within; never to let go of the beauty that feeds the unknown

For only the cross has the final answer

For this is a pause as our great creator aligns our destiny’s

What he has blessed within this soul is forever long before and long after

You are my Forever My Sweet Soul King, even if not in this flesh reality. You will be in my next life and are forever my eternity

For no matter what the mind sees it is your spirit that God has allowed to capture me

It is only the truth of time as to what ever will be
It is only what you make it that shall be allowed
It is only what you make it that we shall see

Just always remember never to use others to get even or chase a pain away someone else you cared for, who broke your heart, broke lives promise, changed your world with pain and now days passing misery

For God has taken the stripes; forgive, move on
You own the steps to the next destiny

For me I shall work through these dreams of mine
Never understanding fully why they come to be time after time

So many over the years that past
I try not to think or talk of them like they will never last

But so they may never be spot on
They come to life with meanings I care not to hold

From the plane that crashed in the parking lot just past my home
To the deaths of Nicole and Ron
Where the Fires in California, or even walking up the steps to the friends place back in the day

What will be will be; it is not for me to see; Yet I do so often
Only this time; I am at a loss, confused about so much for my Forever Sweet Soul King

Therefore not by choice but survival into the unknown, there has to be a pause until it is confirmed No one in this world deserves anything we know this through God and all we have learned
It is Christ that I must hold on, unless you come to life, my dreams will be my forever yearning

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Being an open book and transparent in life. Leaves many to think they can skip getting to know whom you really are. When they skip taking the time to learn and communicate all the way through end. They suffer a great loss and will never know the real you.

Unfortunately, that becomes their loss not yours. Even if you are feeling the impact.

You are designed for so much more; than anything temporary of this world.

Never settle, never compromise and never change for something they want from you or want you to be. Stand true to the unique you that God created you to be.

Nothing more nothing less, be what God created all you to be. Beautiful, worth more than anything of this world.

You are made to love; just love through Christ and love from a distance

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The world has a unique way when building relationships.     It is all about tolerance and choices.
What is, if someone who owes you nothing cannot be truthful to you; they will never be truthful with you. Does not matter where they come from.

So always remember you have a choice no matter how you are connected or how you will proceed when the truth is not clear, given or even proven as you wish.

You must choose the value needed to satisfy your conscious and moral compass no matter if the relationship (mother, father, sister, brother, friend, wife, husband or lover)

Choose Wise;   nothing should ever be built on a lie!

You can be deeply connected and truly love someone. Because of that willing to accept or tolerate half-truths or blatant lies.   Nevertheless, know in the end; if direction you take is with that knowledge at hand; you too should know the relationship you have will never last go as planned; no matter how much you rest together, or refresh together; without the truth it too will turn out just as fake.

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4/21/2019

Happy Easter

For the son of God has risen! For we who believe are eternally blessed.

John 10:28-30 (NIV)

I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

To lead by example in can be very painful and lonely. But to do what is right for the prize in the end, means to be first you must be last and to be true to yourself; you must live in truth.

Good people do not always rewarded; Bad people seem like they always win; and everything in between you just do the best you can with what you are given and let God shake out the rest.

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4/20/2019

From the trinkets when I travel to the Forever Sweet Soul King tattoo on my skin.

The deepest blue oceans; and beauty of all the people and that within.

Thank you Jesus; for allowing me a glimpse into the deep love that has been shared with me.

For all the protection from the dangers this world can bring.

Thank you for everything my Jesus; our great Prince of Peace.

May I never forget any of your moments that only you and your deep love sing over me.

Matthew 5:6 (NIV) Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they will be filled

Mark 4:39 (NIV) 39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm .

Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) 6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Psalm 46:2 (NIV)²Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea

Psalm 73:23-24 (NIV)²³Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
²⁴You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

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There is nothing worse than watching or losing your children or grandchildren to the elements and layers of misfortune of the world.

Though in perspective thinking of Easter and the sacrifice God made giving his only son.

For those who would choose to never believe in love hope and the value of what humanity can be.

So we go through the pain and sorrows. Just yesterday my heart getting its work out for my granddaughter and her friends in an accident. So very thankful it was not worse.

Though it will never come close to that of Jesus Christ. To think God may have willed his son.

But Jesus willingly took the cup. He took the stripes. The brutality of what we in humanity can be when we do not live, hope and believe in all that love, hope mercy and grace can be.

For me I choose to believe in what has been written and alive for thousands of years. It doesn’t matter if you do or not. But I pray you personally take and check it out yourself.

What do you really have to lose building your own personal relationship with Jesus. Because you may know of God but will never be in relationship with him unless you go through Jesus.

With that said I am thankfully blessed despite all or anything I see or go through.

For all that I am all that I have is a gift from above. It is all temporary in the world. But the love and peace is forever eternal.

Nothing else is needed when God fills all the voids of life. Sunday is coming He is Risen!

May you have a blessed and Happy Easter 🐣🐇🐰✝️🙌🏻

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04/19/2019 Good Friday

It is finished! Thank you Lord for this day especially. Where you gave everything so we could live.

Dear Jesus

Forgive me for all that I make it in this world as I forget and fall short of all you have done for humanity including myself.

Forgive me for thinking selfishly and wanting of the flesh and chasing things of this world.

Daily I fall short; no matter how obedient I remain for somethings; my thoughts are not always on you. How often my choices lead me falling short of what should be all about you Jesus; forgive me and direct my steps.

We all want or chase something we cannot or should not have in this world. Some of us it is a once in a lifetime others perhaps daily occurring. Lord as we are reminded today of all you are and all you did. Please guide us and show us the way. The way of the truth and light.

As we, all fall short of your glory; we cannot do anything we are called upon without you. At least not that truly matters for eternity.

Sunday is coming Father; you are coming back. Until that day please guide and protect us, showing us your will.

Please heal the many that are sick father and if you cannot; please give them comfort. May your angels of accountability, mercy, grace and protection. Surround and lead all I am and all I to come in connection with

Thank you Jesus!

1 Corinthians 15:20-22 NIV

But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.

Lord

May we come to know you and your greatness; never forgetting all you promise.

My daily struggle and dare to be different my entire existence even when I did not walk with you father God. Romans 12:2-21 (NIV)

²Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)³The Lord appeared to us in the past,^[a] saying:

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
    I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.


Isaiah 61:10 (NIV)

¹⁰I delight greatly in the Lord;
    my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
    and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
    and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

Psalm 31:16 (NIV)

¹⁶Let your face shine on your servant;
    save me in your unfailing love.


Psalm 107:8 (NIV)

⁸Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,

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I wonder what Jesus had going on in his head as he was taking the pain and suffering.   Being obedient for the promise of loving humanity. Yet so much unknown; Still he did it. willing dying on that cross after so much torment and suffering.

Here I get hung up on the fact how I really want to believe in some people. Yet nothing adds up; still I hold on in hope.    I know this is so far from what Jesus went through.

But I wonder how he held on; why he did not turn his back and just run and block it all out.    So crazy to think the so much He did for us.    And we cannot handle the simple things in this life.

We all get there; just like any habit we try to break and keep repeating it over and over until we make it through.   So will be all those things that weight us down; that give us no truth.    No matter how many times you give it up; and take it back.   Just keep Jesus closer than anything ever coming in your way.    There will make all things possible to achieve, to be, to believe.

It does help me stay in perspective and know regardless of what I have or do not have; who I am tied to or not tied to; there will never be anything more worthy or of value than that of Jesus Christ in my life.

I never want to have to experience what God felt or Jesus Suffered ever.

Even in the pain and anxiety of knowing our loved one's dear are hurt, suffering or lost. It will never come close to that of which Good Friday consisted of for Jesus Christ.

For this no matter what I believe of the world; I will always believe and love all He is, all He stood for; All He died for and all He came back for!

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04/18/2019

Father thank you for this new day you have allowed me up and out to start again.

May where ever my sometimes; unintentional or full throttle steps lead me through today. May all I say, and all I do be pleasing to you and your will live within me.

Oh how these past few mornings I not wanted to get up. Wide awake in the wee hours ignoring anything I was dreaming, any words on my mind; not writing just forcing myself back to sleep.

Once it is time to get up to make it to my job; well that alarm doze button and I have become very friendly. Multiple alarms set with some annoying alarms or even two songs from my number one. Lord knows I had gotten up by absolute necessity of keeping my job. No other these past few days.

Guessing I am not the only one in this big world that goes through this; but it is not the normal for me. I am just bored with the mundane; but am obedient and know I need to clear up my responsibilities and then go where you lead me.

For now; I am thankful for your mercy and grace. You Jesus, give me so much in this life; even when I have been unworthy of anything.

I pray Lord my children, my grandchildren, all my family members in my blood line and those who have become like family to me. Come to know you and grow and appreciate all you and the Father do for us.

This morning reading an acknowledgement my daughter wrote; regarding she gets all her strength from me. I had to let her know everything I am comes from you God; even when I did not walk the walk with you father. I believed in you. Even when I am not so strong that everyone else things I am. It is you Jesus that carries me.

I know who I belong to; I pray she will get that and align the courage and accolades accordingly.

Thank you Lord; for all I have been; for all I am and for all I can be.

Exodus 16:14-20 (NIV)

¹⁴When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor. ¹⁵When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was.

Moses said to them, “It is the bread the Lord has given you to eat. ¹⁶This is what the Lord has commanded: ‘Everyone is to gather as much as they need. Take an omer^[a] for each person you have in your tent.’”

¹⁷The Israelites did as they were told; some gathered much, some little. ¹⁸And when they measured it by the omer, the one who gathered much did not have too much, and the one who gathered little did not have too little. Everyone had gathered just as much as they needed.

¹⁹Then Moses said to them, “No one is to keep any of it until morning.”

²⁰However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them.

Footnotes:

a. Exodus 16:16 That is, possibly about 3 pounds or about 1.4 kilograms; also in verses 18, 32, 33 and 36

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19 (NIV)

¹⁹And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus

Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)

¹⁶Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

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04/17/2019

Thank you Jesus; I have been given this new morning and day ahead. May all that I say, all that I do be pleasing and in the will of God.

As a parent stands by watching with hands held out to steady a child during their first steps in life. Or as they wait up waiting for their teen to come home when first allowed out into the world. From a first date, first trip back home.

The goal is that to see their loved one safe and on steady ground. I call it stability; giving the children of the future stability or helping so they remain steady to grow and stay on track for chances of a positive productive future.

Not everyone will experience that of parents first hand; not everyone will have the adults that are to care for them that care for their well being.

When or if that happens know it is never God’s will to harm or see harm to His children. It is that of the freedom of will and choice we all are given that many will live through times they wish could be different.

No matter where you are; where you came from or where you want to be. Meet Jesus where you are. No matter if people have thought you lost your mind or not. Seriously there is nothing to lose if I am wrong and so much for you to personally experience and gain. God calls us to talk with do all things with Him.

There are so much unknown and chaotic misfortunes in this world. Daily so much unexpected can and will out of the blue jump in your way.

How often do we get derailed, or distracted even by the good things in life that bring us joy and harmony. As I talk with God daily; I should be in conversation 24/7; so should all who live and breathe on this planet.

Relationships are not for throw away friends; true loving kind relationships take work. The love of God that was spent the day he sent his only Son to the cross; that can live within us; it takes that deep relationship with God.

With painful; or joyous moments we are given there is no topic or need off limit.

That is the steadiness of God’s will for our lives. The point remains; no matter what good or bad; person, place or thing that transpires in front of us; no matter what need or desires we think there is. As soon as something grabs our attention we should truly be talking about it with God.

Love comes in many forms; if you are blessed in the worldly life. You will experience it; even if at some it breaks your heart; wrecks your plans or leaves you feeling like you’re going to die. Remember there will never be no greater love than that of Jesus Christ taking the cup and dying for a world that many will never acknowledge the sacrifice.

God never gives up on us; as we journey through this world thinking we have it under control. We forget whose we are. He is always there; and thankfully so for my life and the world I have traveled.

May the burdens you carry be taken to the foot of the cross; and you come to know Jesus personally. May the healing take place in your soul, your body and for all those you love and care for.

May you never forget you are loved and have purpose by a power far greater than anything while traveling this earth.

May you do well with little of this earth to achieve much. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice; thank you God for each moment I am allowed to live, learn, laugh or cry. Without You; I would not be.

Psalm 112:7 (NIV)

⁷They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

¹⁰So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

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I wish I may; I wish God might; let all my dreams I hold come to life
There is no wrong; there is no right; There is just imagination full throttle in site.

What is pure; what is truth; that is all I want for me or any of you
Dreams of love; it has come from the heavens above.
What else could there be; I guess I have to just wait for that someday to see.

For this life; will never be easy; but it will be full of everything I will ever need.
So while I wish; I know this for sure; God will give me no less; or more
As it is not what we ask for day or night; but that of what is truth and right

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04/16/2019

Father God; thank you for this day

As I am reminded through your words this morning not to fear; trust no matter how much seems out of control in this life; believe in all that is unseen.

I imagine how I am to apply that to my own being.    As these waves of insignificance wash over me that ultimately define how I act or react.       You father know all my struggles; why is it at this stage of life; they start to come up to the surface.

Reveal to me Father the path I am to take.    You know I take off running to get things done; I have been blessed to be so fortunate.   But Lord, I need your light and direction.   I know love is coming; it will be your abundance and your grace; as it always has been.

I know this Father; yet, why is it all that I am, all that you have created overwhelms me with doubt and insignificance?

Forgive me Jesus; for no matter how much I believe; no matter how much you have done.   Somehow by letting things get caught up in my mind; I make it seem that you were not enough. That will never be the case.   I struggle with trusting people; this is true.   For humanity has its own agenda.   We are confused by human nature.

So many of us call ourselves Christian; yet we are the first to cast the rocks as we live in glass houses. There are many who put labels on those that are the least of these in the eyes of the world.   We joke, make fun or worse yet turn our backs on those that have not found the way to let you in yet.

So many out there portraying they are doing good works for your kingdom; yet they are filling their houses in greed and misconception against others.

Lord

Guide my path; lead and show me the way you wish me to go here on this earth. You are all things.   Nothing get’s to your children before it goes to you.   Help me shine for you Jesus.

My prayers go up to our aging parents and all they are going through; for those alone; for those in need of great healing; for all your messengers and the protection and traveling mercies.

In your mighty precious name; show me how to live for you and not about me; in that deep spiritual faith.    Thank you for all you are and ever will be.

Our Lord and savior

Our redeemer

God; the Father, Son and Holy Spirit that dwells within us.

Isaiah 6:3 (NIV)

³And they were calling to one another:

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory.”

2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV)

⁷For we live by faith, not by sight.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)

¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

04/15/2019

Thank you Lord for waking me up to do whatever will transpire in this unknown day.

Guide my feet, guard my heart and may whatever communication that comes from these lips or fingers, be pleasing to you.

To die to oneself is a painful process that must be purposed daily; minute - by - minute.

To know the only truth in this world Jesus is you.   For anything of the flesh; has never held close to even second. Never did I plan my life to turn out the way it had. I am blessed that you pulled me out of what was not chosen.    I am blessed that I was able to fight my way through and make my way.

Yet I am cursed because of the scars and lack of trust I have for humanity.

Unless it is right in front of me; the only thing I truly believe that is unseen; is all you are Jesus.

For no matter how hard I try; I cannot feel trust for those I cannot see.    Safe to be this way yes; absolutely. Sadly it keeps me very alone.    For even those we know all our lives we sometimes find out; we never knew at all.

So what happens next Father, I ask?    I have joked for years never even trying to pretend.    But what happens really; from this point here on in? There is no game; there is no sin. There is just this craving connection from deep within! You know all things Jesus; you know this mind maze. Some days I feel like I am going crazy; Like an invisible weight I cannot shake.

I know it is You; that will allow me anything in this world; just as I know I do not reflect just how truly blessed I am.

I just wish I knew what the hell was up with me; lately I feel such a mess.

Most days doing my thing and moving along; lately some days feeling much less.

Matters of the heart; connections of my soul; sparking passions and dreams as I continue to dwell; stressing me out growing weary feeling insignificant is starting to grow old.

What do you want from me God; this is not the first time I have asked.

If all I am is to survive; continually stepping up; stepping out. Helping here and there all about.    Than why am I here now today; feeling this way?

Why did this occur and I cannot shake it; Why am I not allowed to have this dream my sweet soul king.    Am I forever to watch from the outside looking on or in?

Father; There is nothing I can do to change your direction. Please guide me, give me a sign let me know what next; as I continue to try and do my best.

Jesus I adore you and all you are! I know I am blessed near or far.    You know all things; you know all that is in my mind, all that is on my heart.

I need you Lord, for me and all the unspoken prayers for those I care, for the direction I seek.   May your perfect will guide all of who I am and will be.

May a hedge of protection and healing cover those that flow the same blood line as me; and all those I am forever connected.

What was, is no more; What will be, Only God knows. Live for today; the moment you are given. As no others are ever promised. Do not hate; for what you cannot see.

Be thankful God allows vision into the possibilities and allows us to dream.

No matter what; you were created in the image all things pure and love. You were created to rise above.

Father God; may you forever dwell in me allowing me love; as you love me; peace as you call for, and vision to see clearly through all situations.

Isaiah 12:2 (NIV)

²Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense^[a];
he has become my salvation.”

Psalm 61:2-4 (NIV)

²From the ends of the earth I call to you,
    I call as my heart grows faint;
    lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
³For you have been my refuge,
    a strong tower against the foe.

⁴I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.^[a]

2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV)

¹⁸And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate^[a] the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Psalms 23:4 (NIV)

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

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04/14/2019 Palm Sunday

Father thanks for this for this beautiful day that I have been given.

Thank you for all the beautiful souls you have placed in my path this day and all my brothers and sisters I am blessed with to serve and worship you on this day.

Though I know and believe I am far from perfect; I am flawed with scars and marks that run deep. Flawed to where at times my worthiness of life in general is questioned but especially how you could love and sustain me as you do.

Yet; I am reminded Jesus of this day you would ride through town and become the ultimate lamb of sacrifice. For those in this world; some like me, some not. All created with your love intended.

I am reminded; for even the most precious diamonds have the most unusual and deep flaws and according to the worlds standards they are considered priceless.

My prayers Father are for the days for those of us out here that feel flawed and unworthy.

I pray for the days for those of us out here that feel flawed and unworthy. May We remember all You, Jesus have done for us to nullify any cost in this world; or things we may be dreaming. That we are everything to you and all you suffered and died for. For that should be all that matters in this life; even though it is so much easier said than done.

No matter what things we may be dreaming, feeling, scheming. Nothing in this world will ever pay the price as you suffered and died for; crucified on that cross; willingly for such misguided souls on this earth could never understand. Yet, you love us anyway.

Guide us Father; when we forget it should not be about us; it should not be anything this world has to offer. But we spend so much time chasing things that are temporary.

Guide us please; when we forget about we were created in the image of you God and for your love. That we need not worry about anything more from this world; as it is only the love of God that can and will fulfill us. Anything more is bonus.

If we need reminder of just how much we matter; remind us of the story how you gave your only begotten son. With holy week upon us; Lord the story is fresh as if it were yesterday.

I ask Lord you to please guide and protect us from ourselves and all the craziness this world can get our attention with.

If it is not pure, if it is not true, keep us from any harm and misdirection. Keep us out of the crossfire of all that awaits to consume us here.

I pray you guide and protect my family and my connections all my friends and all my brothers and sisters in Christ. Heal those in need.

Lead me father with a pure heart and clean hands.

May we never forget we belong to you Jesus; as you are alive within us; all we need to do is acknowledge your presence.

Father no matter what has come, what will be in whatever the future is; may only truth and your love live within me. Keep me from the shadows, teach me to love me, show me your love with these eyes to see.

1 Corinthians 15:20 (NIV)

²⁰But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.

Hebrews 6:19 (NIV)

¹⁹We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain,

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04/13/2019

The kindest thing you could ever do for anyone; is let them know you are thinking of them. Without intent or purpose; just knowing you matter enough to be within their spirit to care, showing a kind word or sign; could change a life forever.

Thank you Lord for this new day; the hours are full of possibilities that await us.

Let the will of God guide me; all whom I love and all whom I am connected or will be connected to, for all you have set ahead.

Let the blessings we are given on behalf of Jesus and all he sacrificed flood us in abundance.

May all your children, Father; saved and unsaved recognize and appreciate the blessings in everything we have in front of us right here right now. Good, Bad, Indifferent; tomorrow is never promised. May anything that is weighing us down, trying to darken our spirit or mean us harm; forever be banished to the depths of unknown.

May we see the hope and all the possibilities in all things that come our way and never forget even on our darkest hour; everything God and HIS son Jesus Christ did for us so we could have life here on earth and eternal life thereafter.

I pray that we all see even if only a glimpse over our time; everything through the eyes of Jesus.  

May we always remember no matter what; the creator of all things made us in His perfect image so we could live.

No matter what is broken, falling apart, needed, hurting or beyond happy; we know it is temporary and there will be brighter days.

 I pray from deep within our souls,  that all we do or try to do is for the glory of God.   No matter what the outcome, all the thanks and honor belong to Him.

I pray healing for all in need;  asking you Jesus; to guide and protect our steps.   In your precious name  Thank you!  

Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 

John 15:5 (NIV)

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Psalm 105:4 (NIV)

4 Look to the Lord and his strength;

    seek his face always.

Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

²³Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,

John 15:5 (NIV)

⁵“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Psalm 105:4 (NIV)

⁴Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.

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04/12/2019
Happy Friday and thank you for this day; no matter where it leads me; I know you Jesus are there all the way.

Trusting God is a moment by moment choice. It is hard to believe and act upon what you cannot see. Blind faith, believing in only the stories written of the son of man Jesus and knowing there is a more powerful being that created all the heavens and earth; God.

It has always been easier to believe in God the Father and his one and only Son who gave his life for all of humanities sins. So we could have the freedom to live.

It is always easier to trust more of what you can see and feel of purity and faith; supported by what is written for thousands of years; than that of believing in people standing next to you many times. At least for me; even though I cannot see Jesus. I see God in everything this world has. I feel the love of Jesus deep inside my being.

Even on those days I am far more human thinking than I should be.

So my thought maze this morning is when we try to trust in people. Some right in front of us others we never see. Just remember they are not God! They may claim to be godly at times. But truly always hold perspective over all you see and do.

Life is short. Do not allow yourself to get hung up on that would of, could of, and should have in this world.

Do not allow yourself to feel to be pulled down into a rut full of pity when things do not work out. It’s okay to cry it out, but pick yourself back up, brush off and ask God what is next. Pray the path does not repeat anything harmful or painful, especially that of loss for those you care for.

It is okay to have those moments of feeling bad when everything seemed to be working out and one day your realize it never was, because those we put our faith and hope in had a different vision. Or for some even that promised glimpse of all hearts desires so close but never near enough to ever really touch. In this world nothing is ever what it may seem or what we try to make it.

Sometimes it is us, sometimes it is who we entangle our dreams with. Sometimes it is just what it is! You can know someone all your lives and never really know them. So you can imagine the statistical ratio of anyone you do not really know and the chances of anything in the world to grow to life are like the chances playing the local lottery. You can take the risk, but do not let it make or break you, no matter what the end result.

Know this; if you have a relationship with God awesome, if you do not please start building one now. The one sure thing in this entire journey is you do not ever want to let go of God. He is always with us even when we push Him away for what we think we need at the moment; or completely walk away from him because we think we can handle that moment. where we unfortunately are consumed by what is not meant to be.

Don’t let go of God. He is and forever will be! No matter what is going on or not going on in your worldly life, call out to Jesus to hold and sustain you.

May the windows of our hearts never be clouded or darkened. May the connections in our soul always remain pure of all that is love and merciful and full of kindness.

May all the days we are given be filled abundantly with the will of God and all that heals and shines brightly!

May the will of Jesus guide our path and guard our decisions; while the strength of God is all that carries our beings through each and every second of each and every day we are given in this world.

May we stop compromising who we are, doing things we should not be doing, going places we should not be going; all just to fit in.

May we stop chasing that forever; you know the forever that only God can bring us to and through on the other side of eternity.

May we all come to know, and walk together so when we get to eternity; together we will in love and seek together that land of milk and honey~

Psalm 118:24 (NIV)

²⁴The Lord has done it this very day;
let us rejoice today and be glad.

Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV)

¹³Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Exodus 15:22-25 (NIV) The Waters of Marah and Elim

²²Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water. ²³When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter. (That is why the place is called Marah.^[a]) ²⁴So the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What are we to drink?”

²⁵Then Moses cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became fit to drink.

There the Lord issued a ruling and instruction for them and put them to the test.

Psalm 31:14 (NIV)

¹⁴But I trust in you, Lord;
I say, “You are my God.”

Hebrews 12:1-2 (NIV)

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ²fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

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04/11/2019

Always thankful for another day; no matter what the previous day’s journey turned out to be according to my thoughts or the worldly expectations or not. Many do not receive the privilege to take the next breath and have things to chose how they will adapt, feel, and react to.

Thank you Jesus for the sacrifice you made on the cross so we could have life. For this I am forever grateful. No matter how good, bad, happy or sad the days I am given turn out.

I am blessed as are anyone who is sitting here reading the maze of wired words and crazy thoughts of the mind I have been given.

Not because you are reading anything that comes out of me.

But the fact alone you have been given this day with so many possibilities of whatever you choose to make it. No matter how bad things seem; know your boundaries and keep life in perspective.

As there are so many paralyzed in the moment of time and are at the mercy and hands of humanity and ungodly circumstances they are put in. There are children and elderly out there at the mercy of some rally vile souls that for whatever the reason are just pure evil and suffering a fate worse than anyone that can still think, move, act and do for themselves can ever imagine. Those in situations that never planned to be there, never thought the one they gave everything for would treat them as they are a prisoners in the world they live.

Always, Always be thankful; always keep things in perspective. No matter what your agenda for life is.

For the record; I am far from the person that will walk around smiling every moment of every day. In fact I am a deep thinker always; who smiles just so no one knows what is happening within. Half the time I am trying to figure out why things come to life in this mind of mine; one who struggles not to get close to anyone so I do not risk being hurt or used.

Even though I am quick to jump in and help sometimes even to give everything away just to help others. Even if I do not know all the facts. You know the how; when and whys.

I love people; I love human interaction; at arms length; where I can love them from a distance; help wherever I can but keep them from getting connected. But, sometimes new connections just happen.

I over think depending what the connection is. Which by the way I do so much better at arm’s length. Just my life journey, time and history does not allow me to trust. And Lord have mercy I think too much about everything. That is just how I am wired.

With that God made us uniquely flawed like diamonds deep within the walls; as He is chiseling us out to shine brightly everywhere we are to go.

For me, I am blessed that I in knowing the journeys that I have come from, and all the places I am yet to go. God has allowed me a life that allows me to relate too much on many levels, and not enough on others. The balancing act is real; all the while keeping who I am real and fighting with my own struggles. Yes; we all have struggles or our own demons that we must deal with.

One thing is for sure; be okay where and with who you are; unless you are in harm’s way.

Use it to lead the way for others and love yourself always; no matter what! You are made to be enough from and for God and remembering with God all things are possible. You are loved, you are needed and you are beautiful no matter what this world says or does to you.

So my thought journey late last night had me thinking about the phrase “There is a time and place for everything; and everything has its place”

How true that can be with everything in this life, and sometimes we do not realize no matter how the time reflects what is currently happening in our lives. We never have any control over what is or what will be to predict the future. Unless you are walking into a very bad situation with your eyes wide open and you know the right from wrong; I am speaking when we do the best we can with what we are given. Trying the best we can remaining obedient and living daily with Jesus. Allowing his knowledge to feed and guide our ways. As we purpose in having that personal relationship in Christ before all else.

Then only God knows what is yet to come for all that is occurring with the (IT) in our lives. And I am using the (IT) very fluid in terms of any situations or stories.

I am not referring to adamant objects in this flow; but they certainly could be.

Especially if you are one that everything has to have a perfect place and space.

I am referring to (IT) as those deep desires, actions needs. As I reflect in this minds journey. Noting we all have that something that qualifies for (IT)!

Sometimes no matter how (IT) comes to life (IT) may or may never be the right time. Or even the right place for (IT) to grow into what (IT) in your mind’s eye should be.

As I think about my life’s journey and how I can put labels on whatever (IT) has been in all my days; but I do not think it is really necessary.

You see sometimes no matter how (IT) comes to life. Please fill in the blank as you think through what is the (IT) that touches you deep within your core; deep within your soul?

There are times in this life that we get so close to that something’s that fulfills those deep down desires. Sometimes it just feels so right giving you that warmth deep within your spirit that you can never get enough. Sometimes it is what feels so true and for me at that point panic sets in; because of my history in life, I so dislike rejection; I find it so hard to handle when it is relationships with people of any kind.

Even more so if it is of people I have grown fond of. Then just one day they are there and the next they are just gone for whatever the reasons. Unfortunately from the beginning of my days, I have lived through more times than I can count various (IT) circumstances.

Those where in the blink of an eye nothing is forever; or we really were not as close as was thought. We wake up one day and everything has changed and all of sudden we see just how very far away we really are from (IT).

Now just to clarify my (IT); relates to beautiful souls I have come in contact with and lost connections. The loss of loved ones, from broken relationships, lost loves, lost presence or just misguided direction in this worldly life or even what almost was that our really needed; yet it never transpired. The layers of loss and rejection take their toll.

It does not matter how the loss occurs or if it is from long term relationships lost to illness, beautiful souls lost to drugs, even suicide.

I can tell you there are those over my life I really admired within my career, my church even out in the world. Later to realize I could not understand what I admired about them, as they were just human and as messed up as the rest of us. Then the layers of what was I thinking add up making you always doubt anything next.

This journey of thoughts and writing as of late is that of a deep desired connection, not that of close family or friends, or admiration for so many and what they do.

That one connection you live and breathe that flows deep within your veins. No matter where, no matter when God has allowed the illumination to grow deep within your soul.

Just when I thought I really knew myself and I can assure you, I do not. I am fully aware of my capabilities and many think I am much stronger than I really am. I am just blessed to survive and try to lead the way for what I am given. But God has me on this journey and I am learning more about myself every day.

There is no greater love than that of Jesus Christ and our Living God. Please always know that. If you do not have a relationship with Him; please make one.

I laugh often and say God has a funny sense of humor when it comes to me. Truly with all the crazy thoughts and words that come to life. When I was younger, I was angry and felt nothing and never got close to anyone. Doing things out of necessity and living.

Somewhere in my thirties I learned what it was like to deal with emotions and at some point learned I even get emotional over commercials on TV. It is no secret I care too much most of the time and sometimes about the wrong things.

But, like me and learning my boundaries in this life; whatever you are going through or learning. Just know you are not alone. God is always there if you let him in. Choose Him first and then those you can trust in your circle to help you remain accountable and out of harm’s way. It is when I withdraw and try to handle life between just me and God that things get more clouded than ever necessary. I could go on and on; the words just keep coming.

But like every day; I need to end this today's travels through this minds maze.

I have not expectations and some may not have a clue what any of this means as any day I write. For that if it does not have any meaning; then perhaps at least I can bring a smile for the day while you ready to close out and leave just shaking your head.

One thing is for certain; never do I wish to offend anyone with what I write; but I will not stop writing about my love for Jesus or the God who saved me and wants to save you. If that does than please do not read any more.

For anyone seeking encouragement or laughs; know whatever you may be going through in this world; you are not alone; you are deeply loved.

No matter what is happening where you are today. Shine bright for if nothing else just your own soul and let God know you are thankful for all He and his son have sacrificed. Go have your moments in and on this universe.

If you cannot shine for whatever reason; find something that will help you do so. Be it music, nature, a good read, a good laugh or even a good cry. Just remember everything in this world is for; know and be mindful what you are taking with you.

Please be careful who and what you let in the world you live. For you, for your children that may be in your circle.

We are all human and far from perfect; always try your best for the creator of all heaven and earth. That in the end is what matters.

If you are blessed within humanity during your visit on this earth with people, places and things; never forget where it comes from and always give the glory to Jesus. Without His death and resurrection none of any of this world would be possible.

Please remember what or who you invest in while here. Try to always do what is for the greater good, and be mindful none of us are getting out of here alive and everything we have in this here and now is temporary.

It is our jobs to lead the way wherever we can; shining brightly for the children and youth and the future of all that is to come.

Psalm 118:24 (NIV)

²⁴The Lord has done it this very day;

let us rejoice today and be glad.

Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV)

Matthew 18:4 (NKJV)

Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

-------------- Dear Sweet Soul King of mine

I love you for the love you carry deeply for our God; creator of all heavens and earth

I love you for leading the way; even when your path is blocked and burdened

I love you for always walking in humility reminding us of grace

I love you for always being true to who you are

I love you for you, your strength, courage and steadfast determination to never be consumed by this world. No matter how hard your journey becomes

I love you for the abundance of light that flows from the inside out; seen in everything, all the time.

Where ever you go; where ever you are; may are awesome God always show you favor near or far

My Sweet Soul King; I loved you then; I love you now; Thank you for loving me

Now, please come find and rescue me and allow me to serve you as your queen and if you cannot; that is okay to for I will be waiting for God to finish this rescue. As this life what is left is not about me, not about you. He has made me as I am; and whoever you will be. Trust me I know this; I am not that much of a fool. Yet it is so beautiful to dream; it beats the alternative in this world that can be so cold and so cruel.

Thank you Jesus; you have allowed me to love and dream. Someday maybe not in this life but my next I will have that Agape love, my future husband my very own Forever Sweet Soul King ~ Love Beyond all Space and Time

04/10/2019

Thank you God; for coming to live within me; thank you for this new day and that of whatever the future has to come.

My thoughts after gathering with my sisters in Christ last night had me wondering. Not because of a specific topic but life in general.

Although we are Christ believers, we love and fear God and know if we open our hearts and allow it. The living God lives within us.

Many of us do great works not just good. Many of us are out there working in the mission fields, sacrificing our families and loved one’s by always being gone too long. Although, the sacrifices are never planned when in a relationship and one is out trying to the good for God’s kingdom and someone we left behind was not involved enough, or on the same page ultimately falling to what the world says is okay.

It is what it is! Relationships are hard without a doubt. Sometimes we get caught up and forget what, or who we were promised in the flesh and forget or do not realize it takes much on all involved for any unity to withstand the test of time.

But nowhere in the bible did it ever say work for and in my kingdom and I will bless you to ever be trouble free. I will keep you from ever being lonely and I will prevent all temptations.

It just does not work that way. It takes daily purpose of dying to oneself daily and even sometimes minute after minute.

Once you become a true believer and fall in love with all Jesus said, did, and gave up for us. You open your heart and ask the living God to come live within.

It does not happen overnight that your realize He is there. But you will know He is; especially on those moments when the hair stands up on your arms and you feel the warmth rushing through you; as you gaze out at the vastness of His creation. Or you hear the laughter of a small child, the birds singing or watch nature scamper in front of you. To be blessed in seeing a morning sunrise or the evening sunset with the vast colors that feed deep down into your soul.

Or even the power of a huge waterfall and the sound of the rushing water, or devastation when the storms of life and environments that come through and something survives when all else is lost.

We are all human and we all fall down. We can either stay down or get back up and ask God what next. Direct our steps guard or words, protect our hearts.

Yes protect what belongs to Him unless he allows someone into your soul.

Perhaps that someone seems far off in a distant imaginary dream or they are right in front of you. The point is; may the God of all creation be the keeper of what he created, and guide and protect all we are for the work laid ahead.

It is not about me; or never should be. But yes I too get caught up in a world where there are too many distractions, no opportunity or just life stays too busy to really dive in and know what can I really be doing to help make positive, moral, loyal and respected contributions to this world we live in.

Never perfect, in fact I will always be far from perfect as I away the only one that is.

Obedience is a must; and honestly if we get down to it. I do not know why God allowed me to survive so many situations in my childhood; in my young adult life or even when I was grown.

But He did. I do not deserve it. When I finally in my late teens realized I needed to do something to stay alive or I would surely die. I was under the influence from the day evil robbed me at ten years old straight through my late teens. And it was there I was blessed with a son.

From the day at fourteen setting on a front porch talking with like friends drinking mad dog 20/20 saying I need to have a relationship or have a child to give me purpose to life to the day I had the dream before my son was born I would name him Joshua. Oh the craziness. But I chased that forever relationship and feeding my flesh once I knew what it was like to really have needs to be held.

I can tell you this; NEVER judge what you do not know firsthand or even what you do not understand.

As an adult today I do not condemn or condone; but I will be the first to try to shed light on why something is not a good idea for my children or young adults or why they should abstain from certain behaviors or worldly dreams.

I will never regret having my son at age eighteen. In fact, God gave me purpose and life; or my daughter at age twenty two.

I do regret I was not one to meet God early enough to raise them up so they too would come to have the relationship and understanding I have today.

I never had any direction in my growth process; I learned everything from the school of hard knocks. Unfortunately some of those lessons my children had to live through with me. Yet here we are today all the better for it.

So where am I going with this thought maze I have going this morning. Do not hold on to anything or anyone that has hurt you, let you down, not lived up to what you thought it should be. Do not put yourself out for others to use up believing what they promise.

Live for you; live for God. Allow the living God to come into your heart and dwell.

Know in the beginning it is hard to believe and trust you will make it through. It is hard knowing when all you wanted was that forever and you sit all alone or even all alone raising up the blessing of children you were given.

Trust me when I say; everything we do is like a habit that forms. You stop craving to be held, or what it feels like in the heat of moment when you give yourself away thinking that person is forever. And the pain you feel when a week later that person you thought was your forever disappears out of your life and you are left with guilt and humility because as a young soul you gave a piece of yourself away that will never be returned.

The cravings and desires that once were like addictions and need that you chased just to be loved, held having that forever. Or worse yet when you cannot get enough of anything in this world. Know once you get past the fact of knowing. You are in control and with God all things are possible.

Abstinence wins; all the cravings subside and disappear when you allow Jesus to show you the way.   All those crazy needs and thoughts that make you chase that next shopping spree, drug fix, food binge, lover hoping it will be your king.      None of that matters.

It is not that you cannot want, or desire.   I think we become inhuman when that happens. But do not believe everything you see at first glance, do not believe everything you hear without really getting to know. And remember you could know someone or something all your life and in the end find out what you thought really was so far off then they truly are.

Give everything you have to God; if you choose to give anything of yourself or material items away to the world.    Accept it is what it is. If you are blessed by truly seeing the reward; inhale the blessing.    If you feel slighted; let it go.   Everything we are, everything we have belongs to God anyway.

He will shake it all out in the end if you let him.    It is much harder than it sounds. Even if you have been doing it and walking the path a long time.    You get through no matter how deep the layers cut.    Just fight for what is right, pure and brighter in this world that can be so very dark.

Hold on to what you are
Hold on to every single piece from deep within no matter anything you are fighting or feeling physically or emotionally from choices we make.

Give it all to God and ask Him to reveal the blessings he has you going through. Most of all ask him to direct you as you or I can never do this on our own.

No fame, no fortune no material items in the end matter; as everything is temporary in this world. Only God can fill your soul and give you what lasts forever.

So there have been so many maze filled twists with somethings I have been writing lately; and it will never mean I have given up for my desire of my forever Agape Love and to know what it is like to have my soulmate, my Sweet Soul King. While still in this world.

But it does mean the day God allows that to transpire. I am pure, I am whole and I am truly blessed for what I need to continue doing in this world trying to shine a brighter light of hope and lead by example for all who are still trying to come out of the dark.

No matter how often the whispers of doubt fill your mind, or the fear creeps in. Remember what the truth is. Let everything else go. The cycle will happen to the best of us. Prayerfully we will never hurt anyone along the way as we are fighting the demons that creep in on us along the way.

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04/09/2019

Jesus, you have allowed me up another day. May all I do be pleasing to your will and not my own.

I was not sure what I should be writing about today; even though I woke and said I need to just stop all together. There are many passionate souls out here in this big old world. Who love to write as I do~ some are awesome in everything that flows, some may not necessarily be good, or always right in what spills out. But the blessings you have given to all of us is worth more than shutting down and burying oneself in this dark world that it can be. But hold passion and the words just keep coming. Can understand some of the dilemmas on those moments you give too much, or you just have nothing.

Forgive me for still learning audience and what I should release and what should just be put away.

Lord my weakness is my lack of trust in people. My history knows why. But I do not understand how you have made me to care and see the good in everyone, but later if I get too close shut down with lack of trust. More over I do not understand; why in this journey I cannot handle being close to anyone. I will always survive until it is my time. But there is more to life than just surviving even in your kingdom.

This morning I am reminded of thoughts of love. How I once told my mother when she wished I would find that good man to be with me in my days. I had to laugh and my snarky response was. Really Mom! Then later following up with love is like getting the winning lotto ticket and you have to play to win. I can’t afford the cost. My luck was not like that of my sister this month celebrating 40 something years; or my brother married 30 years before my dear friend his wife passed. Even after a bit, he was able to find that companion. Besides and no offense to anyone in my terminology; the men that would even catch my eye always seemed to be married or gay or just off limits.

Before my walk with God, I had that good looking bad boy syndrome.

Me though, trust with good reason has been a factor. I have no need to get caught up and add drama to this world. Back in the day chasing love seemed to be a motto. Since I met and gave my life to Christ. My standards changed dramatically and it has been a very long time that I chased anything. That love I seek is beyond this world. Everyone knows what lust is, everyone knows that loving bond between family, and friends.

I need that someone to love me for me as much as I love who they are from the inside out. That deep unconditional desire and burning love that you truly love everything about them and the anticipation of being around them makes your heart beat faster yet when you are near them and they do not know it is hard to look them straight in the face. Because you are afraid they will read everything that is going on inside you about them.

I do not know if anyone in this life has that deep Agape love and passion from deep within the soul. Not perfect not without relationship blemish. But something so deep no words are ever said.

So you see I may have that better chance to play the lotto and win. Yet, lately no matter why I dream of my sweet soul king. I am fully reminded the world has a shortage and my king, my winning ticket well is still not available in my right now right here time.

Sometimes when I think I would even have a chance to come close; this world reminds me in so many ways how far away I truly am.

So I will always know my love, my king, my future husband of my next life. When that next life is only God knows.

For today, and every day I am allowed up. I am reminded I am a child of the highest God; I am a bride of Christ and that is what has and will sustain me through all the rides of emotion and life. Until he brings my God breathing, fearing loving King. It is all that will ever be.

In the meantime I pray the Lord's will be done, as he guard my path, my sight and especially my words towards anyone.

Romans 8:38 New International Version (NIV)

³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,

Exodus 33:14 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁴The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

----------------

04/08/2019

As I am reminded this morning God never leaves us; we are the one who walk away.

Something I have never really felt since the day I started the walk. Knowing what it is like before even meeting Jesus; you tend to know the difference.

God leaving me; although I pray it never happens. In the world; I have felt it deeply; and struggle daily with people even showing up. Much less holding on long enough to have time to leave.

Forgive me Father for anything my words may strike and hurt anyone. It is never planned that way. Just these days; well I am coming to terms maybe I just need a break all together. My words are what sustain me when they come out. Yet in the process lately there is a heaviness with some.

It is here this morning I am reminded of the many emotions of this life that can sometimes over whelm us.

Humanity can make us crazy and frankly on the other hand although should always be treated with loyalty, kindness and respect. Well those we care about leave us all the time. Those we care deeply for sometimes never even show up.

So when you are feeling down; and things just are not going; or you are going through something that only humanity brings or we bring on ourselves. Do your best not to react, do your best to not destroy all the good you felt before something transpired and you became heavy hearted or distant. Do not feed this world with more negativity, hate or anger because of what others have done, not done or you did yourself.

Relationships of any kind take work and communication; most importantly do not cut God out of your life because the world is not reflecting or giving you what you desire or think you deserve.

Remember Jesus will never leave you; just call out His name and focus on all that is good by the father.

Father you know all things. We cannot pick who our souls connect and our hearts’s yearn for. We don’t always have the right words or actions.

When all we have is faith and the weight of knowing this hurts. Only you Jesus have what it takes to get us through. Thank you for these moments. Forever ❤️🦋🤴🙏🏻

Genesis 28:15 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁵I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Romans 8:31 New International Version (NIV) More Than Conquerors

³¹What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Hebrews 13:8 New International Version (NIV)

⁸Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

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04/07/2019

Thank you for this day Father

May your will be done.

Lead me so all things I do or say be pleasing to you; and not my own will or that of those around me.

I pray all I come in connection with this day and those I am given; see you and find you deep within; and if not they grow to love and trust you Jesus.

You are the potter; the maker of all things; heaven and earth. Please hear who call out to you Jesus and show them you are real. Thank you

Isaiah 64:8 New International Version (NIV)

⁸Yet you, Lord, are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand.

Psalm 27:8 New International Version (NIV)

⁸My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek.

------------

Lord

one thing is for sure; the closer I get to you, the father I am taken from anything in this world.

Why does this life have to be so bitter sweet.

There is no heaviness like that of the love in one's soul that you first know the Prince of Peace went through to allow life in this world. But that to know what it feels like to be in love; yet never feel the reciprocation.

Lord

please do not let my heart harden, or shut away. Please guide and protect me my remaining days.

The bittersweet of loving and believing in what you cannot see; seems to be the endless torment of empty promise and those who play the games of the world far better than those who do not play games at all.

04/07/2019--------------------Game Of Life

In a world, that everyone should be winners

In a world, that was a gift for humanity

In a world, that only love should matter

They have a game of life. This game is harsh, can be very painful and tends to suck you in, chew you up and sometimes discard you like you do not exist.

Other times the game depending on the players; You can be caught up, used up; like a lion cat playing with its prey. Perhaps a dog and its favorite chew toy.

We have the upper hand when we walk with Christ; as we all have choices to prayerfully consider. But even then, sometimes Christ children get confused and lost in what they think the end result if they are thinking of any; may turn out to be. Not paying attention the impact of the game until they are all in.

Have I been there in this lives journey? Oh, yes! Even today pieces of me are feeling the strain.

How did I get there father I do not know; and for anyone reading there is nothing to show. This is a matter of heart of soul. Something so simple, seeking more than just silence, loneliness in this life just to exist. Seeking more than a game in this life and certainly not expecting some sort of free bliss.

Somehow, I played into this foolish game, thinking it was straightforward. Yet I continue to find out there are so many layers and twists. Life wears you down; draws all you have out, never able to feel that on-going harmony with so many unplanned rifts.

If only I had the strength; that you what seems to be always winners truly played with.

I am not seeking out anything but truth never any plans or any hopes I could possibly have that ever after; much less any prize for any level of winning.

Maybe that is my problem I wonder why; I never really push to take or fight. Just wanting truth, I let it go and stand by. Truth, harmony; you know; Life, laughter and love that deep Agape kind!

I give it my best shot all the time; not to get in the way, not to live in a lie. At least until you start pushing me away with distance, half-truths and soon to be leaving me behind.

All one sided the game is never fair. Only good for the moments of that time. Almost having all that I am. Then somehow, I realize you never gave an inch, a slice of who is really behind that mind’s eye. Just covering with excuses that started feeling so much like a lies.

Many in this world would have quit before the game even gets started.

For me just truth, I would have settled just as a passing friend; as things become so surreal.

How I should not have thought anything more; breaks me to the core. Yet knowing you are the one that opened that door.

This game of life, so unfair so much hurt at times and despairs; I stepped up, stepped in with faith. Clearly, I have been forgetting my place in this spec of earth where I exist.

I have always been straight up, no hidden secrets of my dreams of forever love. I am transparent, straight living on life and Gods blessings I take.

I am sure, those others that play but mask and dilute, why they are for any opportunity. Just doing it, not giving a second glance, just chasing what they could achieve in the end from a stranger or a friend. Most times just feeding their demons; fighting their own addictions, behaviors where even at time, they being caught up in something far worse.

Then there are those that quit first and check out of this world before consideration of any game that starts. Those souls that are forever lost leaving those that love them with more than broken hearts and deeper pains.

What about those players of this world; does not matter if they are boy or girls. Just taking all they can before their game gets derailed. Taking as much as they can; from those that give making this such a cold heartless world.

For those of us that play this game, dreaming their way through, sometimes really believing in the ever after that remains hidden deep inside. Where they find out quickly there is rarely a winner. Just a soul sucking burst of something; that leaves your life spinning.

Why or how I end up in these times, playing the games of this life. I too find it beyond me, but the facts remains. Life is hard, unfair and for me; I wish, I could, just at least once I looked away and never cared. I am like a magnet for anyone needing something far or near.

I am a survivor of many journeys. It has been a long time since I allowed myself to be caught off guard, or even really talked to anyone. However, it seems, I did and I stayed too long.

I am forever blessed!

Not knowing why or what the reason. It opened my mind again, opened my heart, and opened my soul. I just so wish the tears, the ending not have to feel so cold and alone.

Oh how I so believed desperately that the love of God would wash down over me in the flesh; with abundant blessings of that deep agape love; nothing more nothing less.

They say never make decisions from the heart, which can be foolish from the start.

Listening, to what was deep inside speaking out. Despite the only thing, I needed this round; was something to be true, and real. Even for a moment in time. I would have surrendered it all; just for that one true affirmation or call. Not my turn, or just not me.

No matter what the reasons, no matter how one sided, no matter how many layers kept coming. I truly gave it all I have. However, I knew my end was in sight without a sign.

Forever labeled God knows why; Forever My Sweet Soul King Love Beyond All Space and Time.

Forgive me father for thinking anyone deserves anything such. For believing, I would be or feel anything you do not gift me.

I am forever grateful for the dream I fell in love with; I am grateful Father God you allow me in the game of life. Forever grateful later you give me words to write. I so pray no one else must go through such a plight.

Prayerfully, I ask, please have mercy on all I care for.

Guide and protect all I am connected. Forgive me for I surrender what I cannot see, what I cannot confirm. Forgive me for my lack of understanding which you already discern.

Jesus I am forever indebted for all you have done for humankind and this world. Thank you for bringing out what is been hidden deep inside, for such a long time.

Please, direct my steps guard my words and let what will be-be!

I must retract and ask for guidance of my next steps to survive in this world. For Your kingdom of eternity, I do not know when I will make it.

In this universe to survive, we call upon the game of life

Where only those who know the rules for such love or earthly crowns. Will remain steadfast and take all that is on their path. Calling it winning even if it does not last.

I myself can no longer forego the cost of what this feels like, battered deep within.

If it is not real, this dream must end. It is only you Jesus my Prince of Peace. That can or will ever allow me that win. Until then; I surrender, giving up, I give in.

If I do not; I am a fool who is turned a blinds eye; that will never be strong enough to ever survive.

----
04/06/2019

Happy Saturday

Jesus;

You have given me and anyone reading this another new day, thank you.

Please guide and protect this journey down here for all who have been given this new day.

Please direct my steps unto all that leads me back to you Father.

So today’s thoughts and sparked writings; churning through the wires of this very tangled mind; is around love, romance, dreams, desires and choices.

So I just need to make it clear; I have been single all these years by choice. Long ago before taking the walk hand and hand with God, I was married and divorced twice. With allot of elements that filled in and caused gaps to overflow that got me where I am today.

I like every other girl at some point had dreams of that handsome love of our lives sweeping us off our feet and living happily ever after.

Unfortunately in the world of reality; I like many never stood a chance to be surrounded and raised up and protected in a loving caring family to allow purity and that dream to ever be fulfilled.

I lost my virtue at age ten; no not by choice. By one of the evil dwellers of this earth that take advantage and rob innocence every chance they get.

That was the beginning of very long cycle of abuse, drugs and alcohol and many bad misguided choices throughout my youthful journey. Yes, I am very blessed to be alive and be here today.

Most importantly even though it was so long ago and I have been given new life. My journey to finally find peace and love came when I came up out of the water and fell in love with Jesus.

I won’t get into all the details right now. But I can assure you not only from age ten through age sixteen am I lucky to be alive; but God held me despite all or anything I have lived through and pushed me and held me up all along the way.

There are many steps through some really awesome blessings from then till now. However, a good portion of my life was not so bright or worthy of anything from the good Lord.

So I am not an authority on relationships. By far; there is not even one reason I should be writing anything. But when the thoughts and words come and the pieces fit together; I share.

I want to just say again; I am single at this stage by choice. I have been so since coming up out of the water. And any relationship I ever get back into; must be God breathed.

I like every individual in this world are unique and given choices in life. Mine is not to go find a man of the church and be their slave by far. Anyone that knows me; knows I have been out here independent on my own most of my life and someone telling me what to do or dominating me. Well that poor soul would get hurt. Before my walking with faith; let’s just say been there done that and wrote the book. Ultimately I and my children were the one getting hurt along that path.

For the record, like me and God knowing what is deep within my soul and heart. Is the same for you; whoever you are reading this.

Not everyone wants or needs that connection. But some of us deep within want that Forever Sweet Soul King or Queen. Some of us want and have connected with our soul mates.

Make note; for those still working towards that, for those still really needing that; for those trying to find that.

Do not rush what God has intended. You see having the blessing of your own lifetime partner is a beautiful thing. But there is only one relationship that really matters while you live, breathe and walk this earth.

That to know the Prince of Peace and allowing the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit to dwell within deeper than anything of this world could come near.

Romance and filling all those deep desires of the flesh and sharing that ever after; having your King or Queen. To love, serve, cherish. To bow down if that is what you choose because of the respect and love you feel. That is all well when you have that one soul that truly cares; truly having the love of that someone; where you are constantly overflowing and full of electricity flowing through your veins; knowing just being near is like the huge firework display where the emotions of gratitude and love seep out everywhere.

Who would not want those moments in time and know despite anything that will ever come. You will always be there for each other. What a blessing that would be; even in a moment in time.

But let us face the facts our world and reality is not that kind. The world as we know it; has damaged, used, abused and scared so many. That we bury all the desires, needs and cares that truly release such love. Deep within and never speak of them.

Worse yet without God; we chase everything to find that feeling. Feeding off that deep within void that sends us to places we can never recover the pieces lost. Before it’s over we find ourselves more broken and alone than we could have ever imagined losing that one true love.

I can assure there is no drug that will mask and fill the void forever; there is no one that you give yourself away to that will ever be your forever King or Queen. Not without a worldly price. The temptations of this world have been here since the beginning of times. Satan has been trying to consume us since he was cast down.

Nothing will fill you with the indescribable peace, love and strength than that of Jesus Christ. They refer to Him as the Prince of Peace for a reason.

I will never judge or condone; trust me on that. My heart will hurt and I will do what is necessary to protect my family and those around me from anything evil.

I will continue to shine the light about stop chasing voids. You have the strength, power and courage within yourself to overcome all things. If you really believe you do not; no matter how hard. Get face down and pray to the good Lord asking Jesus in your life. For with Him all things are possible.

Was it; is it easy walking with Christ, walking in obedience; abstaining from the ways of the world. In the beginning of every change there are challenges. Like any drug, or addiction. Once you start it is hard to quit. Once you have gotten past it you find purpose.

For me; though lately has been really heavy seeing family members suffer from loss; feeling loss myself. Drained because of nonstop giving and feeling the blues because over this past several months almost a year now. God has allowed my desire and of my very own Sweet Soul King to be part of me; drive me, my thoughts my writings and yes even my needs. And there is nothing wrong with that; as we are human. But even with God; we need to remember our boundaries and know our choices and pray deeply before any action.

Otherwise what flows through your veins can drive you crazy and empty all that is good out leaving room for that unbelief and doubts and even reactive behavior to transpire.

The world will always have darkness; there will always be those who do not believe; there will always be those that use, and take. There will always be the many that feel and care too much. And there will always be those seeking that deep agape love as there will be those who take and destroy it.

There will only be one relationship between you and the Father. Make it and nourish it before it is too late. None of us are promised tomorrow and if yours does not come and you do not have a relationship with Jesus. I may not know exactly what will happen to your soul. But I choose not to find out. I do wish to see all of that is filled with light, mercy, grace and Agape love on the other side.

Whilst I am still here; I will forever love, and dream of my Sweet Soul King and all that dreams are made of. But will never again just give myself away thinking the circles in this world I travel and all those that transpire with empty promises, gifts and flattery are really him. That may keep me lonely; may prevent me from blessings I am unaware of.

But the good Lord has promised my purpose, my heart and my soul and whatever is left of this body. For something greater that will never be temporary. For this I will wait.

Thank you Lord for the ability to churn these words; may who ever reads them gain something positive and inspiring to their own souls. May you protect all those out there giving themselves away chasing the demons within to fill any voids they may have.

No matter how they got there; Lord you made humanity for a purpose. Not to be used up and destroyed to be thrown away like rotting flesh. Father I pray for the souls and the future of all that is innocent and all our children that have been exposed and tainted.

Please be with them. You know each and everyone and what is deep within their souls. Hear their cries and guide them in your will only.

Thank you for this morning and day Father.

Psalm 116:17 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁷I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
and call on the name of the Lord.

Genesis 3:2-6 New International Version (NIV)

²The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, ³but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

⁴“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. ⁵“For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

⁶When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

1 John 1:7 New International Version (NIV)

⁷But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all^[a] sin.

--------------
04/05/2019

Only God knows truly what each one of our souls are going through.

Though we can share historical experiences with one another and be there in faith and love to support and encourage. No one will really know what the person next to them is feeling, seeing from their minds eye or needing from deep within.

We all have our own internal agendas, why we do what we do. Most times it is our loving kind spirit that shows or shines out and allows others to read you. In other cases especially when we have not allowed God into our lives. We reflect all that unrest or even worse a darkness that shows how lost we are or the evil that is gotten in as it comes out on others.

We must have a relationship with Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to live within us. If not, there is a deep torment of unrest that dominates and does things unjust, unkind. Things for and to ourselves against others that in many cases are unplanned but reckless and end up being devastating.

I am no expert, nor do I ever really plan what word come for me to pen to paper so early in the mornings. But from my own experiences, I have learned to not condemn or condone. But do everything in faith and prayer. I absolutely know with where I am in this life; I may have deep faith, and walk the walk. But never could pray nearly enough. So I get how hard it is for non believers to grasp walking and believing in what is unseen.

But I do know; what have experienced and the blessings that have come to be and all He saved me from. Including myself.

Even then despite my best efforts I too, even with Christ in my life selfishly let my desires and childish dreams catch me off guard.

Yes life is not over until this physical dwelling is taken from us. Even when it is maimed or broken life still goes on. The Soul lives throughout eternity.

With that even though the love of Kings and Queens only live in our dreams as the world as we know it will never allow a true life time romance without all the drama. Even for Prince Harry.

What we allow into our souls matters. Just a passing thoughts of good intent will not cut it. We must stand true to the Living God. In all we do while we are allowed here. It is never too late to believe and build that relationship and live out whatever we have left as such.

If we are truly blessed we do get that one sweet soul that walks along with us. Yet, sometimes God only allows us to feel that desire and love deep within and keeps it all for himself. Perhaps because the one we are meant to be with is not yet available, perhaps just because.

No matter what, no matter why; the fact remains what we allow in matters and sticks with us for the rest of our physical lives and when it is so deep; it goes with our souls through throughout eternity.

I have always believed in God; but the day I came out of the water I became a bride of Christ and no matter what the world may think. No matter what any of my known or hidden desires may be. No matter how happy or heavy my heart feels.

Without Jesus; I am nothing. All that I am; all that I can be; always just me Kelly another lost soul wandering this earth awaiting the wolves to devour what is left bit by bit.

So it may be so this is intense, this is way off from your mind’s eye. Or even some may agree they get it. What really matters is what is that you have deep within. What is it driving you and is it what you want to stick with you throughout eternity.

We may never be allowed that one true life romance; for me my Sweet Soul King.

In reality let's face it; even if I did get my Sweet Soul; God knows while in this world we can be anything we want for anything we need at any time of any day.

Even I were blessed and if I did have my Sweet Soul and got together; it may turn out to be nothing we expected and end in just another broken dream leaving more scars; or more than we could have ever dreamed. For me to do anything more or anything less than believe my God who has gotten me where I am today; would not have my destiny under control along with my obedience. Would be living as the world does, and I choose to be me. Jump through hoops for those I care for; stay away from everything else. Never give more than I am willing to give. Most importantly know my maker owns everything I am, or could ever have or be.

In any case; none of it matters without God. And to really get to God you need to have a relationship with Jesus Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to live within.

Father I lift in prayer all those souls lost that were not bad before leaving this earth, but never had a chance to understand and meet you personally. Please have mercy on them.

Please surround and hold tightly your children of the future that is coming.

Please guide and protect your children out in this cold world.

Please remove all dark images from our minds of those evil things we are exposed.

Please bring justice to those who do harm and take innocence.

Please accept my thanks and gratitude for this new day; for all that you reveal to me; for all you see me through. May my heart never harden, you will be what drives and gives me life and I remain forever in your grace.

Amen.

-------There Comes a Time

Balance is give and take.

You bleed out if you are always giving all you have and all you are away. If you are the taker; you will eventually find you do not know who you are and how you got there.

Eventually, you find yourself falling to a world of much more darkness.

There is a light that will shine brighter than all else; and eventually as the taker you will have to make the choice to run in the shadows or be revealed for the truth and harmony that waits.

Unfortunately if you do not reveal what the truth is; you ultimately will be consumed by the darkness and forever lost and alone.

For the giver; there comes a time no matter how painful; when you just have to stop the bleeding into this world. When you’re emotional bank account runs dry and the taker isn’t available for even the smallest request. Let all else go; trust that God has made you for more and you are worth far more than to be used up by those that only take.

Learn where you lost your boundaries and find them again. No matter what you have as a connection, no matter what you think. If there is no balance, if there are hidden agendas, if there is not open honest communication There comes a time to #SURVIVE

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04/04/2019

Lord,

You have gotten me up another day. Thank you~

My prayers are grateful Father; I ask truly show me the direction I am to be in. As my morning thoughts make it clear.

“Not every beginning here in this world has clear reasons. Not every end is allowed closure. Sometimes things just are! We try not to let the world get the best of us. Keep moving; and let you God shake it all out. Always remaining thankful and knowing if things are just not where we think they should be. Well; they could always hurt worse or be better. Yet, the fact remains they just are what they are; and life is what it is”

I know many times Father I have asked to have your heart; I have asked to see with your eyes. I have asked always that you guide me. Lord, I am no where strong enough for this world that you had already endured.

The world as we know it; with so much good, bad pain in so many. And those who have true reason for joy; not able to even see it.

Jesus; Thank you!

This world can be a very lonely place Father; please never let go of me. You are Love beyond all space and time!

I am not sure what all these verses put in front of me mean today. But yes this world can feel very lonely and desolate. I guess I always thought I was in the desert for all those years. And was okay with that; knew how to function. Then you put this Sweet Soul King in my being. Wishing I truly know what it means to reach and grasp reality much tighter and what that desert truly looks like. More importantly; grasping even tighter to you Jesus, no matter what that looks like is the only way life will continue with peace and love everlasting.

This mind always churning, I am truly blessed even though emotions get the best of me at times.

To watch, wait and listen. Then I hear the birds calling with no cares in their being. How often I am reminded you God are everywhere. Teaching me, leading me, holding me tighter than anything of this world could ever promise so.

No one knows what tomorrow will be or if it will be. No know knows what is really happening to or for the next soul. May I always be filled with kindness and your love Jesus.

Prayers for all who do not know you Jesus; for strength, courage and wisdom; for healing and letting those who are so very alone and depressed to know they really matter.

Thank you in abundance; for all I am blessed with. Be it a peak into moments of times that fill the soul; health and well being or just your beauty and mercy given daily.

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in him. Psalm 18:30 NIV (Jesus Today Sarah Young)

(Jesus Calling Enjoying His Peace in His Presence Sarah Young)

Zephaniah 2:13 New International Version (NIV) Assyria

¹³He will stretch out his hand against the north
and destroy Assyria, leaving Nineveh utterly desolate
and dry as the desert.

2 Chronicles 16:9 New International Version (NIV)

⁹For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war.”

Psalm 23:2-3 New International Version (NIV)

²    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.

---------------------------

Today I realized again as I die a thousand times over. What Christ must have felt to be rejected, tormented, taunted, and left so very alone.

Nothing in this world will ever compare to anything we will go through. Suffering from what we don't have, suffering from illness, suffering just because of this world. I am convinced we will never experience what His sacrifice was like.

Today I open a text message and there is a photo of someone I knew in the living who was murdered. My heart breaks that such things could take place but more so the need for me to be made aware of such images.

Today I came to terms; life really is what it is until it is not. And no matter what my desires, connections or needs could ever be. Until the good Lord decides I am to have a an ever after into eternity. The world will be cold and heartless and very lonely.

Yes, someday I may give in for needs of the flesh and find someone who would learn to love me and I them. But of necessity and not wanting to be alone now that I am awake for the rest of my days.

In all honesty I have been alone all my life. It is true there is no such thing as that Agape love in the human form. My forever Sweet Soul King. I am not sure who you are; if you will ever transpire. But there will always be that deep soul connection and a Love beyond all space and time.

For now, the heaviness of this girls heart of the images I have seen today. The layers of unknown have a huge need to breath and spend time with the father to pull me together; awaits.

Life is what it is; until it isn't. I own my choices of all I help, all I connect, of all my actions. I never want to lose my soul or any blessings I have been given without fighting for what is pure.

I am blessed even if in Gods view was only for a moment in time.

----------------------------
04/03/2019

Thank you Lord for this new day; may Your Will guide my steps, guard my mouth, and drive my ambitions to all that remains pure and true.

You know all things; I ask for you to read and hear your children crying out silently and send your angels of all needs to guide, love, heal and protect them.

You are, LOVE Beyond ALL Space and Time. That is what you father God.

The air we breathe comes from you; we do not see it; we know it is there, we feel it, we see it move things. Just like you and the sacrifice that was made by laying Jesus to the cross. He did not have to do it; yet he did.

We see the love in the beauty all around us. From rolling hills, beautiful mountains, wide open oceans. We see the power with every storm, every volcanic eruption, every beautiful sunrise or sunset.

It is all because of you Father God and your Son Jesus Christ.

Lord

No matter what desires this flesh may seek, no matter what connection I am blessed with. Nothing will ever matter as much as you who have given me life. Guide me Lord for the strength I have is not my own. If I shall walk to, let it be your guidance; if I should walk away let it be yours as well. You have carried me all these years.

No matter what is said, no matter what is done nothing can change any of that. In the end of this world, our time nothing else matters but that of you and where our soul will be

My choices in this world are from the free will you have allowed me. I am fully accountable for anything I do. I just pray I never do anything to hurt or put others in harms way; when anything I may choose, turns out to be hard lessons well learned.

Sometimes the most expensive or hardest lessons is exactly what it takes to know just where you need to be in the world. For when you see the good in every soul; kindness sets you up in places in situations that should have never been considered in the first place. Love God with all you are, and all you can be. Love everyone else cautiously.

There are many who play the game well for their own personal gain that have nothing to do with anything good. Then there are those who walk in the circles of Gods light; that also not realizing they will burn in the end. But usually after the damage is done.

Do not be weak, do not be like them. Breath in and know God has all things; as long as you stay close and believe. Nothing else matters once you make the choices. Except minimizing damage and saving whatever is left of oneself. Integrity and moral value and love only God will give; are worth more than any conflicting stories, promises or actions anyone can give.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace”. Isaiah 9:6

“Things that are visible are brief and fleeting, while things that are invisible are everlasting”.(Sarah Young)

Ephesians 3:20 New International Version (NIV)

²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

2 Corinthians 4:18 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

------------

04/02/2019

Lord

You once again have blessed me with another new day to get up and keep moving. You have blessed me with a healthy body, sound mind and the energy to just keep doing. Thank you.

May no matter what the circumstance; may I always give you thanks. May your will be done in my life and all I am connected.

Father upon my waking moments this morning the thoughts and words came. But I chose to push them all back. I chose not hold onto whatever it was that came to mind.

Instead I started deep diving into your word, devotions, and just thoughts that are running like electrical circuits through this mind.

My heartfelt prayers for the pain my daughter is feeling right now over the loss of my youngest grandchild’s father.

My prayers for my granddaughter and her sister; more importantly, what is to come for them and the future.

My prayers for the soul of Luis; as you know best Lord; some of us never have a chance when we come into this world.

No matter how good or bad we turn out to be physically; you know what is deep inside. I am thankful he will no longer suffer with the elements that tormented him in this world. But Father please let his soul be at rest and with you.

Please let his children be at peace and have a future that he never had. Please let my daughter learn from these very painful hard lessons in life and move on with and to you.

There are many terms that come to mind when it comes to wanting your children and family members to meet Jesus and walk with him in obedience. We can lead a horse to water but never make it drink. We can plant the seeds and hope to watch them grow.

None of that really matters Lord without you. Even if we are not bad, living with bad intentions and we have great hearts; none of it matters without the first hand relationship with you.

Lord, I know firsthand what it means to be a good person, known for kindness, known for loyalty, known for the many storms and pain others can bring; all the unrest that I lived without you in my life.

I pray for all I am connected, especially my blood line to walk with you Father. To come to know the peace and grace you give. Once they see that they will know what mercy really is.

Even though we know this world is full of darkness and evil; may they learn how to walk where the light is?

Life is about choices. In Christ we choose to have a conscious and care not to take advantage, not to take short cuts, not to do just because we can or have just because it looks good. Sure we mess up; but those truly walking with you Father, work towards all that is good and staying pure. And for this you bless us.

We learn that your love is beyond all space and time. We do the best we can with what we have and not settle because the world tells us so.

We do not judge, but we lead by example. And yes if we must use any phrase, we plant the seeds along the way; prayerfully watching and waiting for them to grow.

We know hardships will come, we know the world of all temporal things will come to pass. We just pray for abundant love mercy and grace along the way.

We never take more than we can give. We know in this world although we all bleed red; not everyone has the same path, understanding or knowledge and sometimes; most times. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen for bad.

May we not get caught up in what you will shake out? May we continue to be obedient no matter what and know you are God!

Lord

Please hear my heart, for all I am connected; my Forever Sweet Soul King; prayers of healing, protection, love, and guidance and your continued mercy and grace with that deep agape love only you allow. Thank you for the blessings you have given in this journey to date.

For if this was the last breath I was to take; I know Father it is well with my soul. I know I am loved and blessed by a being far greater than anything this world can present. My prayers are not of wishing the end to anyone or any living thing; but all I am connected feel the love; blessings and peace only you deliver.

In Jesus mighty name; Amen

Philippians 4:19 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁹And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 4:17 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

--------------

Lord Thank you for this day. Thank you, Forever My Sweet Soul King; Thank you, for a Love Beyond Space and Time.

No matter what this world brings; I am forever blessed for even the briefest moments to dream and feel only a love you give.

------
4/1/2019

April is here; out like a lion in with the lamb. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice and this new day you have me up.

Those waking thoughts or words that are there as my eyes are opened that hopefully someday may make sense.

The other day Cubed Emotions; say what???? I did not even know that term existed until I went out and did some research. But later in a chain of events I found the meaning for me was to take every single emotion that saddens or darkens this world, put it in a cube, seal it up and just get rid of it. Yours or mine; didn’t matter. So tired of negative anything; however the unfortunate thing is. It will only get worse before it gets better. Hopefully we all have someone to go through it with; in the end.

I got a feeling the world is going to keep knocking us down until the day we cannot get back up. And trust me from experience; doing life alone even when God holds you; well sucks.

It is a choice though; so never just jump into anything. Never give in; never give up just being with anything or anyone. Surround yourself with your brothers and sisters in Christ and serve the kingdom where ever you can. Big or small just do it.

Of course everything I write is my perspective only. Much is triggered from life or history I have lived through. All I can say; wrong or right; I have had a lot of years to try everything else. The only thing that brings me peace believing in the good book that has been around for a couple thousand years and all that is true within about God and His son Jesus. For me even if I am wrong. I will step out and step up knowing He created me and sustains me.

This morning’s words or thoughts upon awakening Magic Moments

Like a magic moment in the wee hours without the magic.

Perhaps just knowing life itself is magic and there need not magic as we may think of the words real meaning for magic itself. I suppose in the end it all makes sense.

Trust me when I say I get it; as a person many may think I have lost my mind; just so you know, you cannot lose what was gone long ago. All joking aside it’s all good.

My heart is pure, my soul and hands are clean and no matter what happens in the end. I am a child of God and will forever be. Onto those words and whatever flowed after.

You cannot force people to do what is right. They are going to ultimately do what is needed to achieve their own personal goals or win in this world game of life.

Some become pawns in the game of life. Others are better driving the game agenda.

In the end no one gets out alive.

Prayerfully no matter which side of the board game you sit on.

You have a true relationship with God and know in the end win or lose in the world’s vision. Only the love of God matters and your soul and heart are pure; the rules you played by were of the Holy Spirit and all that is good in the eyes of the maker.

Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Pieces Of Me Over Time -AlwaysMeKelly

Monday, April 1, 2019

2019_April (Thoughts_Prayers_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

James 1: 2 Trials and Temptations

Hebrews 12:28-29(NIV)

Psalm 119:105 (NIV) נ Nun

Psalm 119:105 (NIV)

Psalm 31:16 (NIV)

Exodus 16:14-20 (NIV)

Footnotes:

Isaiah 12:2 (NIV)

Psalm 61:2-4 (NIV)

2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV)

Psalms 23:4 (NIV)

Exodus 15:22-25 (NIV) The Waters of Marah and Elim

Psalm 31:14 (NIV)

Romans 8:38 New International Version (NIV)

Romans 8:31 New International Version (NIV) More Than Conquerors

Hebrews 13:8 New International Version (NIV)

Psalm 27:8 New International Version (NIV)

1 John 1:7 New International Version (NIV)

Zephaniah 2:13 New International Version (NIV) Assyria

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