================================================================================
Music pulled from: https://www.youtube.com/
and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from: https://www.biblegateway.com/
Unless noted otherwise and are free for
public consumption****
(NIV
-New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified
Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
(Disclosure – I am grammatically
incorrect most any day these words flow as a release of this mind maze which
gives me my sanity not to impress the critics or English majors (said with much
love and respect)
================================================================================
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/-f4MUUMWMV4 “Goodness of God” @ Bethel Music
https://youtu.be/5vUvi-A75BU “Miracles” @ Jesus Culture
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
==== 1 Corinthians 10:13
(NIV) ==== No temptation has overtaken you
except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be
tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also
provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ==== And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation
Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
====2 Corinthians
4:17==== (NIV) 17 For our light and momentary troubles are
achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
====Habakkuk
3:19==== (NIV) 19 The Sovereign Lord
is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to
tread on the heights. For the director
of music. On my stringed instruments.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Sweet Jesus, thank you for another day. I cannot help but wonder why you would love me love humanity as you have. I cannot help but wonder why I wake at 2:45am and cannot get the song “Goodness of God” out my mind out of my heart.
I do love you Lord; you have seen me through the fire; held me closer than anything or anyone in my darkest hours. Filling my days with mercies I will never fully appreciate or understand. Your goodness has never stopped running after me.
To be loved from the inside out never for what will be on the outside that is all temporary. For you alone love us for all we are meant to be. All you want is your best for us and to acknowledge we know who we are in you.
You never have and never will leave us. It us those of us who let the world consume us instead of clinging with all we have to you.
All my life you have been faithful; I need not know why you kept me alive for the stories to be told.
Your light is the hope that we must run to as long as we are given breath and movement in the here and now.
That does not mean become frozen, never speaking never living, never laughing or never laughing.
It means loving deeper for what is within not what we see on the surface; it means laughing through the tears; it means doing our very best with what we get to work with and not hold onto anything that does not work out or even that which hurts us.
Digging deep with you for the pain we try to peel back to keep moving when we lose what you alone have given us.
A person is a person created by you no matter how big or small. Treating ourselves and all others with kindness and respect always. Living souls matter!
Protecting ourselves but never letting the world dictate who or what we should be. Never letting the world hold us in bondage no matter if we have little or much. Doing our best reflecting who you are and who you can be Sweet Jesus. Forever yours regardless if we acknowledge you or not.
How often we go from one extreme to the next; how often we chase what we can learn, do or be of someone else and never just be who you want us to be.
We should all have you first as the only agenda, if you have allowed us a life companion them second and our families thereafter. With everything falling into line.
Believing in those who shine the light of hope, strength and courage to your soul even when they sometimes seem to have their light fade. When you cannot find the light in others or in Gods great canvas of this world. Always do your best to be a light.
Lord, I have always been one to not just follow the crowd; jumping on the boat because those I surround myself with have went ahead. Sometimes it may not seem that way; and even sometimes I wonder why I ended up in the places or things I get caught up in.
One thing I know for sure nothing I have ever experienced was in vain. You are fully known from how I was conceived; as a sickly child; a broken and used child; a child under the influence released from the woods; to an adult pulled back in from the desert.
Your child loved and given moments of the sweetest soul connected by you alone. No matter what the reasons. I remember the day an old neighborhood friend and school mate was shocked to know that I was a Christ believer and follower. Just as the day’s others use to say they did not understand why I am always talking about the blessings I have and being thankful for making it out of the past. They could not see how damaging our lifestyle and wild hearts as kids being used up as adults could have really been.
At least not until the day they lost their own because the choices they were making were of no value for life.
Lord how do we shine the light as we get older to lead the way. How do we get others to know you; to love and respect themselves for more than what this world will ever be.
To have eyes to see as you see; to have a heart for life as you do; to feel and purpose for all that is good; despite what or where they have been. How do we get them to believe in you? You are the God who is and is to come.
Lord how many of us must come to life for this world and all our lost children be taken before we can all believe in you.
Yes, even if the freedom of will and strongholds will always be; may ever soul ever living know who you are in the here and now before that judgement day comes.
May all I am connected all that flows through these veins all that will come after me in my bloodline. Walk with you in their hearts and Jesus in their spirit and soul.
May we learn even for our own being to stop being condemning or condoning of what is not your will. Owning our journey, no matter where it starts or where we are knowing we must have you before ending.
While we smile through the pain; get up and do our duties; fulfilling contracts doing whatever it takes to get back up even if the tears flow. May you be what carries us. Losing grip of all the façade we can handle it; we can buy through it; we can numb it; we can work through it; we can give ourselves away to be something or someone we are not. May it be you sweet Jesus alone.
The amazing grace and love you the King of the Universe you fill us when we honor you. There may be many doors that we stand at which may eventually get us to acknowledge you. Be it the storms at sea or storms of love and storms of each life we blend with.
You alone are the truth and the way! May we all circle up with those who love you abundantly and when we are weak or down know with no agenda we can serve and just love on each other for and with you.
When my brother or sister suffers in you with you; so, shall I; as prayerfully they will for me.
His Kindness is forever even in the darkest moments through him we will “See The Light” https://youtu.be/2ShowjS22Gg @TobyMac, Jordan Feliz in which once we open our hearts to Christ alone first; then we find our way out; realizing everything else just falls in line and abundant life will “Overflow” https://youtu.be/x1BA_jCHXP0 @TobyMac, Bart Millard
Those we love dearly will always be deep within our hearts, deep within our souls. Love that is beyond all time and space is a blessing from the sweetest soul ever; King Jesus! Reach for the stars in Him and worse that can happen when we know the battle has already been one; is that the battle has already been won and though the spiritual war is forever ongoing. God’s army angels are out there fighting for us. Allowing us each day we are given get back up the promise of a new day the new day a new “Horizon” https://youtu.be/IqsDM92oMkM @TobyMac, Aaron Cole
So, you think I am crazy, or you cannot believe there is light in the hope and faith unseen without holding something in your hands. If God is not real, why do so many have fears in allowing Him in their lives and it is banned in so many places. What is the worse that can happen by grasping for what gives peace, hope, harmony and love?
I do not need to know for sure. I love me some Jesus and those who truly without agenda reflect even a sliver of who he is or can do.
Life is hard and if we are pulled out of death and things that should have never been. Know the maker that created you holds you in abundant mercy and grace and has great promise for all that you can be. No matter if you feel insignificant in this world or are put up a worlds pedestal with no life to breathe. We are all made for and from love!
We may end up in the fire or shining the light; we may end up with tight friendships in the here and now or just network connections. We may laugh or cry. However, nothing will occur without it going through the cross and the holes that once bore the nails that held Jesus to the cross on Calvary.
Blessings for much love, peace and abundance in Christ harmony. Be it music carried on the wings of promise to our soul; or that of what we gain by serving others. Knowing there is no works or deeds that will ever be done that gives more blessing than another. It alone is the relationship with Jesus with no agenda but falling in love over and over again every new day given.
Thank you, Father God, for all those who have been in my life no matter if it was for blessings or lessons. Be with all who are deep within my soul and all that I will yet connect. For it alone is you Jesus. Not just because this song says so; but because for me of every new day you fill me with breath, mercy and grace. Thank you. https://youtu.be/MGukMchIcDE “It’s You” @TobyMac
Forgive me for those who do not understand why I am able to tie music back to the songs of my soul that keep me alive. It is not about the who; it is about You Jesus and how life has been at times; is or the hope you give me alone when I see you in https://youtu.be/QurQEiOAQjA “Everything” @TobyMac and I just need to share it. For me music feeds my soul. I pray it does for others as well. Forever my Sweet Soul King a Love Beyond all Time and Space.
May the God of all the universe shine his mighty love and power allowing us to grow forward in peace and harmony through all the darkness and pain this world has to offer; on the wings of promise in glory to eternity forever no more tears or sorrows will be.
Thank you this day; Thank you for this week coming to a close; thank you for this life with all the courage, strength and hope you allow me to keep growing forward imperfectly placed right where you want me to be. Thank you, Jesus.
=========================
Date: 01/17/2020 Friday
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James
Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
====
Philippians 2:14-16 (NIV) ==== Do
everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and
pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then
you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word
of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not
run or labor in vain.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ==== And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ==== And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
28 “24 The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be
glad.
====Philippians 4:19, 6-7==== (NIV)
19 And my God will meet all your
needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
6 Do not be
anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with
thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the
peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Wow the things this mind wakes up with playing in my head. Nope staying up watching Dolly Parton’s Heartstrings series really would have no effect as to why I woke up with “What is Love” playing. Then not remembering doing what I do going out and listening the flood of days gone by come rushing back.
As I sit here and smile just remembering how much fun we use to have Rocky out in the clubs. Me and my thing for the excitement hearing your laughter and stories you would tell and all those dance moves. May be doing throwback Thursday photos with your cousin and I on the cruise woke some old times and your reaching out to let me know your dancing in heaven. I pray so. I pray that you found your peace with God above and forever you found your way in him.
Memories in our heart’s forever is all that is left by those who leave this earth before we do. Prayerfully when it is our time, we too can leave a smile or that tear on someone’s cheek. That touch of happiness and moments forever remembered of how much the presence of their being helped us grow; even if we were the one who was trying to help them along the journey.
So maybe it was that mini Netflix series that talked about love, talked about true friendships, talked about life is full of mistakes and even more mercy and grace from the good Lord above.
Let’s be real none of us are getting out here alive; and all of us are dealing with stuff. All of us are a hot mess under all the layers of who we are molded or trying to be.
Some of us mess up bigtime and others; well no one is exempt. The key is how do we keep going in love without being sucked up by the vampires of this world?
As I let the songs just keep coming, I am taken back to the days gone by long ago. So not funny how my ex-husband gave me that song he said was for me when listening to ‘Every Breath’ thinking how young and gullible I was thinking it was because he was so madly in love with me and just his way of reflecting something I never knew about. No, it was his way of warning me he would be watching and controlling everything I was to do or be and in time when I didn’t fall into line it would be his wrath to get us back in line. Life’s lessons; the hills and valleys we grow through and hopefully learn from even if it does not have God with you during those times.
Rocky was my rescue; my project to get me past the brokenness that I was destroyed by back then.
Who would of known by dragging him to church as I was seeking help would over the years led him to be baptized and find Jesus? Then I wonder what about that ex-husband; truly the dreams that 15 years later that occurred then out of the blue my stepson coming to visit; I guess just to see what my life is. To find all the kids grew up and are fighting through the battle scars of life they grew with. A son with distaste and love for women in general using them for their needs but never really appreciating them. Another bitter and cold turned against their siblings and the other fighting for life through addictions and broken relationships trying to find what every girl wants. A fatherly love showing them how to be loved and respected for all God has made them to be. Instead so many never get that opportunity and chase it through the physical life that time gives us.
Well this morning of reminiscing for whatever the reasons; I am blessed through all that this journey has allowed me to be on. I am thankful for you Jesus! Nothing will ever be enough to describe and give back for all you have allowed me to grow through. Battle scars and lessons along the way. Blessed to be still here with you. If only when was now that I could walk those kids coming up away from what is meaningless; what is destructive and dangerous. Those of my own blood that condemn and complain about everything the days are given to them yet refuse to come to you Lord.
Memories and now; there will always hope as long as they are alive and breathing. Finding and building that relationship with you is the only thing that should matter.
As for those so scarred and tainted that take all their pains out on whoever is closest. Protect all who are in reach of them Lord. Heal them but if you cannot; guard and protect all those who will be mesmerized by their facades and entangled in the game of survival physically and emotionally.
As for me. Thank you for words unsaid; doors closed; healing and courage to get back up through the broken pieces of this world. Thank you for allowing me a strong mind without hardening this heart. Even if as my friends say; I keep my head down so I don’t have to acknowledge. I am right where you want me to be; and no matter what dreams bring a message from you for closure; for a new promise for fear of those I care and love deeply. As long as they are sent from you Jesus. I am blessed.
Show me your way; your
will. You are worthy of every breath
given to breathe. https://youtu.be/Z32HiCoFzlU “Build My Life” @Pat Barret ft. Chris
Tomlin
It will never matter
who is watching me or every move I make now days; for you alone are what
sustains me. For I know you are what is
deep within this soul. May I never forget again no matter what
turmoil; mistakes, or misfortune at the hands of others that it is you alone
that matters. https://youtu.be/cFvjpRyJU1o “It’s You” @TobyMac, Matt Maher,
Terrian
Weird up and down day
Work crazy as all get out; trying to lock in if I
need a ride to pick up my car and they just do not know which means more money
out of pocket for a rental and trying to figure out how to get the rental back
after I get it extended again. Meaningless stuff to be tied up in in the grand scheme of life.
Then all this stuff lately with all the
suicides. Be it a slow death where
people give up to the drugs thinking they can handle it; or they blow their brains out, swing or drain their
veins.
I get it; remembering what it
was like from 10 through 16 and the times I would wake up in the hospital being
pumped out; or put back together. When
you get that low and truly are in a place where you feel you have nothing or no
one. It does not matter what age it is.
You either start fighting back if you have that
chance or you don’t, and you leave this world.
But how sad is it that a 74 year old man would
climb up on a ladder and take his own life; or a young good looking strapping
guy would pull the shotgun trigger; or even that of a couple who were deeply in
love for years; the husband would kill the wife and then himself while their
children were sleeping.
Or those who find the need to fill themselves up
to numb and ignore life that is surrounding them. Wanting to get out or have something different and
just do not know how so they feed the demons.
What is wrong with this world we live in? I so wish I knew the answers; as the truth
may be, I still struggle and reasons why. I was able to make it through the pain back then
and am still here and so many others do not.
Why it is getting progressively worse day by day
our loved one’s our children are being consumed and taken.
Does the weight of this world weigh on me; way
too much at times for those I will never know.
For things I am sure should not matter and sometimes not enough for
others.
One Kind Word Changes everything! A smile; respectful gesture; paying it
forward can feed the soul. Yours and the
one you are kind to.
One word or look can make or break someone at any
given time. We are all going through
something. We all have a story and we
all have triggers.
Interpretation is the perception of every human
being. What you mean for just kindness
or a no agenda love. Others think you
want something because of who they are.
So many things never really make sense.
Some will help just because that is who they are; while others well some
just want what they can get lying and scheming not caring if they leave you in
the shadows to die.
While others think there must be something
more. What happened to just be; what
happened to loving like Jesus loved.
Yes, for me there are a couple of souls in this
world that I cannot even really tell you why from the outside but the spirit they carry I
just absolutely adore. Happens that
they are both talented musically; one I served with for years a drummer. The other my number one spiritual feed and
motivator. Something about both of these
souls that just feed my soul. Perhaps
it is the fact I never had a father figure when I ended up learning I had
two. Those I adore are active godly father
figures. I do not know if that is it or just the spirit that pours out of them.
Both to me truly beautiful from the inside
out.
Love my bud that I use to serve with and when He
remarried it was like the Hispanic Ken and Barbie of the Christian world.
The other well maybe someday I will get to
sit down and have an actual conversation maybe even someday serve side by
side. That would be amazing; however,
fame and fortune lifestyles of you know the rich and famous; I am fortunate to
just be able to pray.
In any event; weird day yes just the things as I
wait for the phone call to come get the car.
And all the things that have flowed through this mind today. Realizing at lunch I did not finish my daily
devotionals this morning.
This is what happens when I stay up all night
watching movies and have to work the next day. This behavior leaves me so distracted.
Easily setting myself up to let any little thing
creep in and start derailing me from the one who matters. Once that happens the battles begin. If we are not steadfast with Jesus always;
we are lost to this world.
What we do daily matters; Words matter.
So, as I share out the words that have scurrying around in this mind this afternoon and somehow mattered
to me. What I can say is this.
Own your journey; choose your happiness and
always Let Your Faith Be Greater Than Your Fear!
No matter what the pain; no matter what the cost;
no matter anything.
If the good Lord does not
take you out himself keep getting back up and make it count. You are meant for more than anything that
happens in this earth.
God is real there are no do-overs once you are
sent off. Live in peace; Love in peace
and Leave in peace.
======================
Date: 01/16/2020 Thursday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/n0FBb6hnwTo “Goodness of God” @Jenn Johnson |VICTORY
https://youtu.be/n0FBb6hnwTo “Goodness of God” @Jenn Johnson |VICTORY
https://youtu.be/f8TkUMJtK5k “No Longer Slaves” @Jonathan David and
Melissa Helser| We Will Not Be shaken
https://youtu.be/JvknNajIU6s “When I Lost My Heart to You (Hallelujah)” @Hillsong United
https://youtu.be/JvknNajIU6s “When I Lost My Heart to You (Hallelujah)” @Hillsong United
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
==== Galatians 5:16 (NIV) ==== So I say, walk by the Spirit,
and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TBT) And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
==== Romans 8:15 (TBT) And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment Opportunities
(Biblegateway.com):
====Matthew 11:28-30====
(NIV)
28 “Come to
me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am
gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
====Joshua 1:5-9====
(NIV)
5 No one will be able to
stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be
with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and courageous,
because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their
ancestors to give them.
7 “Be
strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses
gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be
successful wherever you go. 8 Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips;
meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything
written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
9 Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or
feelings):
Thank you, Lord, for this new day; undeservingly you again get me back
up.
Thank you for allowing me no matter what to see the goodness through
you. Reeling me back in at times as I am
lost and consumed in this vast world and all the layers. Thank you for allowing me to know I am
nothing without you Father God and more importantly the love and blessings of
falling in love with your son Jesus.
Many in this world will never understand exactly what that means or
feels like. The abundant gratitude for the peace within; well I will never be
able to repay you with anything more than doing my best with what I get to work
with and learning along the way in obedience for and with you.
Sometimes I get caught up on the worship tunes that just resonate
within this soul Father and many well we all have our own preference and
taste. However when it comes to the
spirit being fed or speaking to me I do not want to just go through the
motions. I do not want to just hear
music to dance around.
Music feeds this soul and as time goes on tells a story of each soul in
the here and now. Yes I have my
favorites and then as this morning I have that which fill this spirit to burst
at the seams with abundant love and prayer.
Thank you for all of it.
I ask for healing and protection for the souls out in your mission
field Lord; the souls who are men and women going through life and death as humans. Not just performers or fame chasers.
Yes, there are some just there for the money and glory of what the
world shines. However, they will never
be fulfilled if they are out there reflecting the image of what should be you;
yet living worldly and just performing.
How easy is it to lose our way; those who get the grand stage or those
just living the simple life; may the glory of you live within.
Lord, thank you for your favor even when the storms I did not ask for
consumed me; or those things I did not think correctly or enough with you and
created. As I am tossing and toiling with what next in
this life Jesus I ask you lead me; and not let my own will absorb and misguide
my steps.
As I know you have it then I forget you are in charge. As things are looking good; then more layers
come that I do not know how to feel or deal with. As I even, give myself away thinking I am
serving in the right places; including the troubled layers adding to the waters
start stirring up. Making me question
should I even be where I am.
Jesus, it is not about me; please remind me and keep me steady in your will not my own showing me the opportunities where to serve where to watch, where to lead and how to lead.
Thinking how I am getting ready to take a day, go to the fun park, and
enjoy playing and seeing some live worship and performances. Ready to jump up and fill out the form to
serve and help at the merchandise tables.
I toiled with going alone but thought I would
take my daughter and granddaughter.
So when I presented the
opportunity I could volunteer. How wrong
it would have been for me to invite them along to leave them and to get them to
volunteer with me would be absurd in the eyes of meism’s. Why would or should anyone serve and work
for free to make a million dollar company money.
I am sure in the eyes of those who do not know how good it is to give
than to receive most days. Well I guess
that truly is a valid view; I get it; I hear it all the time. How can you let those people talk you into
serving do they not know you have a life.
You volunteer all the time and get nothing in return.
Oh but child; you see I am made to serve for the right cause that truly
fulfills the spirit of God! When I see
others coming to Jesus feeling His love for the first time. When I see morality and values with laughter
hope in the littles. When I see
outreach and those so lost and without being touched by the hands and feet of
God and the lights shining in such a dark world.
My spirit is receiving more than any dollar value this world can give.
Yes, there are boundaries; and perhaps yes there is something to
volunteering at merchandise tables for your favorite bands just because it
feels good then absolutely serving a community or even in your own back yard;
your own family who is unsaved.
Although that is not why I will not proceed to do so. I did ask you to hang with me and enjoy the
day and for one moment in time, and hopefully we will be able to breathe and
relax and laugh as a family. For a few minutes,
prayerfully you my child will be able to feel loved, at peace and enjoy right
here and right now making memories. Not be in the continual cycle of bitter anger
that so easily consumes and takes you over.
How often I forget that I once was that angry person always reacting. I am so sorry Lord I did not get to walk with
you sooner when my children were still babies; so that I could have had better opportunities
to raise them up with peace and not just teach them how to survive.
It was not too late for me; I pray Jesus you consume them as well and they too are released from the bondages this world tends to consume us with.
Until then; thank you for the music; for the beautiful souls shining bright for us leading the way; for the abilities and desire to lead as well; for the ability to know who I am becoming in you each day given.
May the peace, protection, mercy and grace with the abundant love of God consume; wash over and guide all I am connected; all who read anything that flows from this mind maze; touching hearts to never return to anything that does not allow Jesus to shine.
Heal all that is broken Jesus! Heal all that is broken!
====================================
Date: 01/15/2020 Wednesday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/W8cJQMU9Q-U “Word of God Speak” @ MercyMe
https://youtu.be/0VcMTnaI4Ic “Hard Love” @NeedToBreathe (ft. Lauren Daigle)
https://youtu.be/W8cJQMU9Q-U “Word of God Speak” @ MercyMe
https://youtu.be/0VcMTnaI4Ic “Hard Love” @NeedToBreathe (ft. Lauren Daigle)
==== John 8:31-32 (NIV) ==== [Dispute Over Whose Children Jesus’ Opponents Are To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ====And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ====And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
====Philippians 4:7====
(NIV) 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
====Matthew 14:30==== (NIV) 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried
out, “Lord, save me!” Christ Jesus our Lord.
====Hebrews 12:2==== (NIV) 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy
set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the
right hand of the throne of God.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or
feelings):
Thank you, Lord, for this new day~
Again, you get me back up.
May the path I follow or create be pleasing to you as I juggle through and find my way out of all the layers this world gives us?
Far from understanding any given day what God’s purpose is for this life. Never understanding those things that I have made it through; those things I am working through or even those things that are yet to come.
Knowing the unspoken desires that burn within; with a love deeper than anything, this world can give or take. Nowhere shall I just stand by and watch life pass. However, I may not be out there chasing fame; nor chasing demons.
Fully aware of where I have been and where I am. With bitter-sweet tears that flow for all that is good; all that is really hard; all that is really painful even if not for my own. Yet those so broken. You Lord catch every tear before they land.
One day we will all see the truth; prayerfully it will not be too late. For we need to secure our souls our eternal fate.
Created for so much more; yet as our littles grow up and run to be out on their own. Trying to grasp freedom as they leave out on their own; being caught-up unfortunately the ways of the world that either condemns or condones.
Everyone out there trying to find their spot; shining on for whom they think what matters not paying attention or maybe caring what is wrong or what is right.
Where is the trust in the Lord; where is he in our sights. Do we start our days in the early mornings; or close in prayer at the dead of night.
Do we think we can handle what it is; that we hear what is not in sight. How do we handle that which seems so close; then breaks us and so far out of sight.
When we put our trust in people believing they are for us; is our first mistake. There is no one on the earth that will never hurt us.
The only one that we can ever believe in with that radical trust is Jesus Christ. We as human beings even for those that we are close or love immensely; will always hurt us somehow, someway.
We cannot hold onto that negative and pain that rents space all up on the ride. Riding that bus; eventually everyone must get off. So help them out for those who have let you down. Forgive and move forward or help them off the bus and let it go.
Humanity is not made to be steadfast and true as God will be. There will be many in this journey; those that never intended to hurt, harm or take advantage of any us.
Just as there will be many that their only purpose is to take whatever they can from whoever they can. With evil intent those that you think you can change are most dangerous as they will consume you and all the innocence and purity that only God understands.
Always know; when we are out there running for freedom and thinking that moving geographically, getting out on our own; running from the current issues or heaviness; thinking we can do anything without God.
How quickly we are steamrolled, battered and broken. Through our own physically being or sometimes for those we love and hold dear.
We cannot; we are not meant to do this life on our own. Perhaps it can be defined by saying we need that lifetime companion for the here and now. But even that means nothing when you do not walk with God in your vision; Jesus in your soul and the Holy Ghost directing your spirit.
Do I wish I had that lifetime companion; absolutely. More importantly if it is not God breathed or evenly yoked it will never happen. When I was called out of the dark in 1995 and back in that water, washed clean and immersed in Jesus Christ in 2005.
Well the strength of God that he gave me before I really found Him is the only thing that sustains me now.
The struggles and weariness will come and go; but I will not give up or go down without a fight.
The dreams and day to day may truly be blessings of God that I do not or may not ever understand. I am forever His and carried by His mercy and grace.
My struggles are real; my choices still sometimes so stupid and creating more burdens and stress than what should be. My day to day becomes chasing the demons to clean up the fall out of the choices that were my own.
It does not matter what I believed; what I dreamed; what I thought could be. The choices of what I thought were for good; that leave me hanging and broken at times because it really is not reflecting the glory of what I thought God would shine.
To see growth, love, positivity and abundant hope for and in all who we step up and out is truth. When truth does not prevail; because you get caught up in the games of life.
Get back up; and know that God is the ultimate Chess Master and he alone will rectify all the wrong moves or game pieces.
So easy to get off on a tangent. Bottom line nothing makes the devil more mad when you step out in faith to do something for someone else; regardless of the outcome; regardless of them being honest and grateful or those who are users and abusers.
No matter what the outcome, do not waste time on things trying to figure out or fix what is broken or broke you. Give it all back to God and do your best in remaining accountable cleaning up any results necessary and always letting God lead the way.
God knows all things, trust in Him alone and stop worrying about what we do not understand.
Hard for me to swallow as I write this; as I always try to see the whole picture and when I muck it up or things happen totally out of my control leaving me to feel helpless and defeated.
When the pain of loss and reminders of all we miss leak out without a moment’s notice. Just by looking at those, you want so much for. When you see heartbreak in others from loss of life, loss of what they thought was forever, loss of way just because they only hold onto what the world could show them.
This mixed up mind-maze so gratefully blessed through all of what leaks out and each day God has given.
Where this journey goes or ends is in God’s hands; but while given the opportunity to just breathe even when I forget how or the blessing to do so.
Forever will be exactly what Jesus allows me to be. What that means is anyone’s guess. Nevertheless, one thing is absolute. There is no greater love or meaning in life than anything but what is in Love, filled with mercy and grace.
Please be with all I am connected Jesus; even if they have not asked fill them up with you by whatever it takes.
Date: 01/14/2020 Tuesday
Cruising with Kelly
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/-hDJNGK0MiQ “The Elements” @ TobyMac ft. Ledger
https://youtu.be/MfoFTytcRDo “Fear Not God is with you no matter how impossible it is God’s Promises must manifest ” @Uplifting Mind
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
https://youtu.be/-hDJNGK0MiQ “The Elements” @ TobyMac ft. Ledger
https://youtu.be/MfoFTytcRDo “Fear Not God is with you no matter how impossible it is God’s Promises must manifest ” @Uplifting Mind
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
==== 1 John 4:20-21 (NIV) ==== Whoever claims to love God yet
hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother
and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And
he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother
and sister.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ==== And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ==== And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
====1 Samuel 16:7==== (NIV) 7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
====1 Samuel 16:7==== (NIV) 7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
====Romans 8:38-39==== (NIV) 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any
powers, 39 neither
height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate
us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord..
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or
feelings):
Thank you, Lord, for this new day~
Father thank you for this new day; thank you for not giving up on me
and thank you for the strength to purpose for you. Where I could have so easily closed my heart
and maybe in some aspects I have. However,
not for you and what you call for Jesus.
Learning for me is ongoing; as I still do that dance ten steps forward
and five back. Still distracted, still
derailed. May no fear or pain of man
ever consume me so much to lose whom I am in you; or who you are for and with
me.
May we never be ashamed of any weakness we reveal or those empty
moments this world allows? May we always
look up for you Jesus?
May we all learn including myself to stop looking at others by the
outward appearance and truly love them all for whom they are from within.
You see us and know all things of us; teach us how to react and lead or
follow as you would.
Lord as bitter hearts has recently touched me, broken hearts beyond
anything anyone should be. I have to
remind myself you are in control. That there is nothing of this world, which we
will go through, that, has not already been vetted out by you yourself.
Using the excuse we are human means nothing in the grand scheme of
things. Teach us how to love with
respect and loyalty as you do.
Teach me when to listen, when to speak, what words to write, what words
to share out.
Balance logic, respect, and loyalty in a life of morality in a world
not so much.
Teach me to understand even if I do not accept; teach me how to love
those in desperate need. Lift up those
so broken father they cannot breathe.
Life’s journey; from the day I walked forward to the day I came out of
the water. A constant fight forward
with and for you. Remembering all that,
knew it is not about me any longer.
Learning what it means for yesterday being gone and tomorrow never
promised.
Healing is needed Jesus, for those deep in my soul. Guidance strength and courage for whatever
comes next for and with you.
Healing from those who love you more than life itself; to those who are
fighting trying to hold the world no matter what keeps calling them to you.
The suffering of this world is nothing compared to what will come as we
dance on those streets of gold in the heavens above.
Show us how to hold on to that hope when life is so hard and bitter
sweet.
I could write to you Jesus and tell you just how unfair some of this
that occurs is; but you know firsthand what it was like being treated with such
contempt and unfairness just by who they thought you were back then.
Not much has changed the way the world thinks; basing decisions and
actions of what only what we see or hearsay.
Rarely do we truly let our souls connect and try to love and live as
you hoped, it would be.
Please show me the way; show me how for myself and how to lead others
in faith never
Far from perfect I will always be; as I writing that just now have a
smile while thinking this mind maze is crazy.
I see Yoda speaking.
Ahhhh, but where is the laughter or peace amongst us?
What if we cannot smile at such cute things; much less allow our souls
to smile even for a brief second.
I want to love like you Jesus; I want to feel the love I have within me
from the outside in. I want to hold
those I care for who are hurting until they feel your strength to get back up
again.
I want to continue to grow forward in you smiling and even laughing
even if only at myself.
I want to shine for you alone; not being caught up in accolades or the
things of this world.
Yes, I need accountability; yes, I need support.
I need you Jesus, more now than ever before!
Heal within me; leading me to reflect your light and direction Father
God.
Heal, guide and protect all I am connected. Lead me, to understanding in all things of
you, for you; sifting out that which should not be.
Thank you for this new day of opportunity and hope more and greater is
yet to come. Using all the blessing and
lessons, tears and fears for your will alone.
=======================================
Date: 01/13/2020 Monday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/qvncZgjixzs “Lose Myself” @ TobyMac
https://youtu.be/3Jm5lvI3x5M “Steady Me” @For King & Country
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
https://youtu.be/qvncZgjixzs “Lose Myself” @ TobyMac
https://youtu.be/3Jm5lvI3x5M “Steady Me” @For King & Country
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
==== 2 Corinthians 8:19-20 (NIV)==== that God was reconciling the
world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has
committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s
ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on
Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ==== And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ==== And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
====Psalm 118:24==== (NIV)
24 The Lord has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.
====1Peter 2:21==== (NIV) 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an
example, that you should follow in his steps.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or
feelings):
Thank you, Lord, for this new day~ as the alarm goes off and “Lose Myself” kicks off my day; I realize I do not know where that person that lived by this kick-starter everyday went.
Morning after morning jumping up and not letting anything to weigh me down
and grasping on to all motivational opportunities from dawn to dusk. No matter if, I had been struck down, face-planted
or having a good day in general. How
without thought I reached out for all that was promoting growth in your promise
Jesus.
Still today, I do live for your promise Jesus; but what happened to that
inner being that was energetic and ready to take on, do or be whatever was
necessary. Did I get too close; did I allow
my inner feelings to creep out and not realize it until it was too late. Believing in something, or someone and the
blessings that spawn growth by what it is or what they do.
Putting all my hope secretly into anything of this world was never to be
misunderstood or misdirected.
For the love allowed to fulfill all that, you are Jesus. Nothing can ever take that away. Lose myself in you does not even come close
to the need and desire of this soul.
Death, misfortune, confusion and chaos are part of what this world is. Sometimes life takes our breath away and
sometimes the oxygen overload from the laughter and blessings allowed by all
you allow to connect with us. Well it
is indescribable filled with energy and beauty that well many children of God
get what I am saying but unless you are, there are no words or ways to reflect
the vision.
So where am I going this day wandering through this mind maze Lord?
Life is so much more that what is or what was. Love is it better to have loved and lost,
than never knowing what love can be.
It is not the temporary moments of our life here and now.
It is not; the temporary things you
can do for people; or even the unfortunate temporary moments done to you.
Blessings come in all styles, shapes, sizes and colors. Lessons, misdeeds, gifts and grace; all that
can leave you broken or accelerating to the next path on this space here given.
People, places and things. Some that
stick with you throughout the end of this worldly journey and those that will
be with you in the future life throughout eternity.
Jesus, may all that I try to do in love be pleasing to you alone; guard my
steps; giving me strength and courage to always see every soul through your
eyes. Forgiving and seeking forgiveness. Guard all that I am while on this
earth. Help me back on track to be what
you see me to be.
You know all things; guard and protect our children and the future that we are
allowed; for we know tomorrow is never promised for any of us.
Washout all the darkness and evil
that tries to consume us Jesus. Make sense in this crazy world that most days
just is not sensible. May we see with your eyes and love with your
heart. Consume me from the inside
out.
Our choices are the blessing you have given; may we be blessed with choices for what is pleasing
to your will. Walking with you Father
is an honor; why so many feel they have no life if they were to do so. I just pray my family members come to you as
you have allowed me to do so.
You know the prayers I have written; the prayers deep inside this heart and
soul. Thank you Jesus for allowing me
to lift them up to you.
You are not finished with us Father God; may we get back up and purpose
towards all that you are.
No matter when something occurs Lord until you take me home; please give me
what it takes to keep getting back up for you and with you.
I do not know what that means; or looks like. But, I know it is love in abundance through
all the storms. May all that I am given
help others to you somehow, some way!
Jesus, let me finish what you started in me with my writing; reveal all
that you see for this future.
Release all connections in love, with love from any bonds of darkness and
turmoil. May nothing ever be lost or a
waste.
Protect and reconcile all connections that are going through a broken
period; raise up husband and wives together for and with you. Allow those who are seeking to find the love
only you give.
Release all from the bondage that holds them. Psalm 119:105 – “Your
word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path”
Light us up Lord!
Reveal your Glory in us Jesus through any given moment of any given day
or night.
When we fall short and we will, it be your hand
that we grasp leading us back to Calvary.
Thank you!
As I wait patiently to find out these things such
as a transmission in for repairs; or anything needing healing.
Heal all that is wrong of our souls first. My soul, my heart and all I am connected
Jesus is far more important. Give me strength
to walk in this world. Give me someone
to lead me. On the other hand, given me the courage and strength if I am to be
a leader towards you.
=====================================
Date: 01/12/2020 Sunday
Weekend Services: @New Life Christian Church Our message is on the seven words for praise and we will be starting at 8:30 hope you enjoy the service we do not own rights to the content that we will be covering for Worship enjoy https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2693110924114720/
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/Ef52AmdVwYI “I’m Listening” @ Chris McClarney (ft. Hollyn)
https://youtu.be/9PugD11k3JU “Rescue” @Lauren Daigle
https://youtu.be/IvSuGyJQ6oM “Goodness Of God” @Bethel Music | Jen Johnson
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
==== Galatians 3:26-28
(NIV) So in Christ Jesus
you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized
into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor
Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all
one in Christ Jesus.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ====And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James
Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) ====Romans 8:18==== (NIV) Present Suffering and Future Glory 18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
====Psalm 46:10==== (AMP) “Be still and know (recognize, understand) that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth.”
`````````````````````````````````````
====Colossians 4:2==== (MSG) Pray for Open Doors
2-4 Pray
diligently. Stay alert, with your eyes wide open in gratitude. Don’t forget to
pray for us, that God will open doors for telling the mystery of Christ, even
while I’m locked up in this jail. Pray that every time I open my mouth I’ll be
able to make Christ plain as day to them.
====Colossians 4:2==== (NKJV) Christian Graces
2 Continue
earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving;
====Colossians 4:2==== (NIV) Further Instructions
2 Devote
yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
====Colossians 4:2==== (ICB (International Children’s Bible)) What the Christians Are to Do
2 Continue
praying and keep alert. And when you pray, always thank God.
`````````````````````````````````````
====2 Peter 1:3-4==== (NIV) Confirming
One’s Calling and Election
3 His
divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our
knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he
has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may
participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world
caused by evil desires.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank
you, Lord, for this new day~
Each
opportunity we come to see, hear and put into action is a blessing from you
alone Father, God! There is nothing
that passes to us that has not come through your awareness your hands.
Guard
my heart, my actions, my tongue and even what I type out so that it be pleasing
to you alone.
Lord as it
seems today’s thoughts and meditation opportunities may be a little overkill
for some.
Your word will
never be enough when it comes to guiding and protecting this soul in a world
that is content with sadness, darkness, bitterness only to mention a few.
Yes, there is a
joy that comes; but only when we truly cling to you. For everything else is a tease and temporary
leaving us hungry and sometimes lost and consumed.
Even I who
chase you putting all I am in you; I cannot let go of what I think this
illusion of control is. Yet here I am
trying to do my best with what I have to work with; trying to remain generous where I
can and never letting the hardships and bitter souls that come through our journey
ever get the best of m.
The layers of
life that truthfully, I just want to sit and ball my eyes out and sometimes I
cannot help but do so. Yet I fight not
to; as what good will it do anyway.
Trying to not
hold on to the hurt of what my soul cries out for in hope, in love, in eternal grandeur. Each
new day given is a blessing of your promise Lord; I know this. As I lift up Melissa the unwed mother who
just had her 6th child and is facing so many troubles and obstacles
of this world. Yet another beautiful tiny
being has been allowed into this world of chaos with unknown futures for any of
those children.
Send your
angels of mercy, grace and accountability through your will Jesus for this
family. Healing all that is broken and
directing them to your kingdom.
Heal my own children
with chronic illness to injuries and all you are fully aware of Jesus.
Heal and
comfort my cousins, my stepdad and mom as uncle has just moved over to the
unknown. Bernie was a good and broken
soul Lord; I will never know if he ever made his way to you. But I know the day he came home from the
service and lost my aunt who died leaving my 4-year-old cousin and her 2-week-old
baby sister. Well it was senseless to us
all but it destroyed him. Uncle was a
good sole that the world consumed, and he fought a good fight not bothering
anyone but destroying himself.
Heal Rich Lord;
and the heaviness he is carrying with the loss of His brother. Guide and protect both Rich and Mom in
whatever will come next living in Bernie’s home.
Send your
angels to protect the elderly; not just those I am related but all in harm’s
way.
Oh Lord these
layers get heavy; me starting off fast and furious putting the past behind and
forging forward in and with you. Then
the games of life just keep happening.
Me being sucked
into anxiety and just wanting to stop.
These past couple years have been heavy.
I cannot complain I am blessed; but so many losses and layers to just
keep going without questioning.
Prayerfully
working through daily and multiple times a day; it will never be enough for a
relationship with you Jesus. I wish I
could even say I am absolutely having that spiritual tug of war with you.
Something just
layered up too much or is off and fully recognized that I have lost my
momentum. Perhaps the panic of knowing
I cannot do this on my own and yet here I have none but those I am committed to
care for; when frustration sets in because I know some can do so much more and
I panic for what if I fail and these babies lose the only stability they have.
The sadness to
know how close yet so far away love in this world really is; while so very thankful
of knowing how loved I truly am from the inside out.
The spiritual
battles of wishing I could have done more; of sadness because I can not get
many to listen and I have watched and am watching life slip from so much
promise I have been and am connected.
Maybe it is
because although I am awake at 3am talking with you; I am not face down and
should be. Maybe this is just how it is
supposed to be.
Dreams all my
life; rarely spoke about and for the spiritual journey over almost a year knowing
the truth. Yet could not do anything to
change what was; what is. Perhaps Gods
plan is just this for what will be.
So, as I’m listening
and eagerly looking up every morning as I venture out. Where are you Jesus that I am unable to feel
the love, you fill me inward I am unable to feel you externally.
I am nothing
without you Father God; and even through the storms I am doing my best somedays
and others just feeling numb. Trying
to maintain whatever normalcy is in this life.
As I step up and out in faith.
Not because I
have any expectations; but pray all is worthy of your will Jesus. Even when I am scrambling to make things
flow; work or right with all you have blessed me to be part of.
Jesus, I am
forever yours. For without you; I am
done with no way of anything. Please
guide my steps; give me strength and courage.
Give me the same momentum I had that I could smile and praise you 24/7
comes back. Let me love and reflect
you alone. Lead me in your perfect
will.
Jesus, I need
you; no matter who else you put in this life; no matter where my words take
me. No matter what I have not yet
understood. I Need You.
For this I am
blessed and forever grateful as you have allowed me to find myself. May all that I do be pleasing as I too lead
by example somewhere, someway without even trying. As we all do!
Be with our
littles and elderly. Those who need
protection and well Jesus you know all things.
In your perfect will and the blood of Jesus Christ.
Thank you for this
day and all my yesterdays. Please be
with all I hold dear during these trying times.
For all the unreconciled
families and brokenness that is carried.
For all the loving parents who have lost a child; children who have lost
their parent; partners and spouses; brothers and sisters.
Lord may your
peace and comfort wash them over. Heal
what is broken in this Nation Jesus. For
my future life; for today; for all of any tomorrows you allow; or yesterdays
passed.
Thank you.
To truly live we must die to self. That does not mean we do not love and feel deeply. That our tears to not flow as we see and feel so much more in clarity. It does not mean we will ever be perfect. However we will be forever tied to perfection in peace and love in Jesus Christ
Outreach is not an event it is a way of life. Making disciples not just followers. Sacrificing who we are to reflect all God wants us to be.
Leaving a legacy for and in Christ of pure heart clean hands wanting connections for more than what one does or has. Loving those just by looking into your eyes deep into your soul. Is far greater than 15 minutes of earthly pleasure. Sealed by even more greater understanding for those who know God alone.
Limitless abundance greater is He who he allows within the boundaries of this soul.
No tragedy no pain no simplicity.
Do you feel the release in which Christ reflects He is in control. Let go of the illusion there is no control. What is done is done. The life ahead is no turning back. No one unloves or undoes what God is tied. No one walks away from Christ without His chosen Sacrifice.
Praying in everything you do. Prayers not limited to one or two me or you.
Stand your ground hold to what you have found you will never be let down even when the world is crumbling all around.
God Jesus Holy Spirit be with us. Show us the way to fix what we must never stray or lust repay and adjust truly know those souls deeply connected never needing to touch.
Forever you Jesus have us.
