Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****
(NIV -New International
Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion
Translation)
16 For the Holy Spirit makes
God’s fatherhood real to us as he whispers into our innermost being, “You are
God’s beloved child!” == Romans== 8:16== (TPT)
================================
Oh, the thoughts this mind wakes with sometimes.
First before I take off; thank you Jesus! For another day of opportunities; and for keeping this house safe with the storms that went through last evening. Simple as it sounds; yet many are impacted and are now on damage control.
Nothing new this time of year; spring coming in like a lion and soon we will experience the seasons of whatever is next for those you allow.
Train ride to the stars?
Not sure why have these words and thoughts this awakening.
I am thinking this is where our human likeness and fortitude trying to make the best, get the best and be the best in all selfishness. Finds us at battle with our spiritual being of doing what is right, holding fast to you Jesus and serving with a joyful heart.
All the while the world around us be it purposeful or not. Suck the life out of all you want us to be and experience Lord.
Feeding our spirit by giving ourselves away for good causes. Move when you say move God; stay when you say stay. Give all that I am away physically in time and talent I have been blessed and monetarily when I have it.
Is this the crossroads of what I am to do or serve next?
Most days running nonstop; work, life balance; what is that?
Work, maintain a home, keep stability for children that might as well be mine, deal with broken down this, broken down that. Holding tightly to the favor Jesus that you give.
For I know what it is like to live without you. However, why do the layers always have to be so much for everything.
What am I missing; this train ride chasing you to heaven; Jesus? Trying to avoid daily becoming that last and final train wreck!
I have to laugh when people tell me how strong I am; or how you will be rewarded Kelly for all you do. You are a saint. No, this is where I truly am part of that train wreck long ago that has always just tried to be and do for others; especially protecting that of my own blood what was never done for me. I am not strong; just spent and sometimes numb and desperate to not care anymore. I have to laugh most days because I know once I start crying, I may never stop.
It is not so bad; I am truly blessed. Even if these layers are beyond all that I have in me most days.
I remain accountable even if at a slow crawl; to all I get into. No matter if it is my fault or not.
I stand by my blood and those I step up for; even if they are not Godly or doing what is right.
I absolutely will not turn my back on a child and leave them in the hands of the world that will use and abuse them for their own personal pleasures and gain.
I will do everything I can even in my misguided path to give them the opportunity for a life and know right from wrong and who my Jesus is. The choices are their own which direction they take. Painfully so at times; for the choices you have no control that make you weary.
There is no real closure even for what you are able to be part of an end.
After awhile in this world you grow numb and focused on only what truly matters. Or prayerfully so you do.
If you are blessed with many mornings to rise up; after awhile you find what is pure, what is truth and hold on for dear life and the remaining course of the ride.
Hopefully you learn early on to keep your arms and hands inside the ride as it goes through life. So that those that bite you from the hands that feed them when in need. Well it does not hurt so badly that you are paralyzed and stuck at the top just waiting to crash down and it all be over.
In the meantime, you know the only reason you are able to get back up each day; is that of the blessing that God’s not done with you yet.
Uncertain of what is next; for even where you serve is become more like day to day work in the secular world; the joy is fleeting with the disorganization and lack of communication the choices start to weigh heavier on what to do next.
Layered up with everything else; slowly robbing the joyful spirit of showing up at times anywhere.
We are not meant to do this life on our own; however, sometimes in life remaining in truth and doing what is right and not just going out and giving ourselves away to feed what the world says is okay. Is cold and lonely.
Nothing is changed; I would rather have loved and lost than never known what love was at all; even if it was before my walk with Christ.
I would rather fill my days serving and finding things to do than ever end up with the wrong person or situations that will destroy you in life all together.
Especially when in the depths of your soul you know you whom you already belong is that of the creator of all the universe and whatever He deems is worthy.
I would rather be pure in heart and truth and do my best for and with others until they prove they are not who they pretend to be. Then week and unable to do anything without someone doing it for me. Everything has a cost and I was made to pay mine long before I was able to understand what choice even meant.
People no matter of the church; of a great stage or just down the street will always have their own agenda. As do each one of us. Seriously I do not go stepping out in faith to serve or help others without the intent of my spirit to be fed and even to really have pure relationships come to life.
Sometimes if we get hung up on expectations that ultimately let us down unexpectedly; we can paralyze ourselves when life and all those in it are not so pure.
Where would I be had I not learned who Jesus really is; and purpose to chase his blessings ever single day I am alive. Six feet from the edge I can assure you! It is not always easy; It is not always understandable and many times that ache is still deep within sometimes as much as the desire to be loved from the outside in a truth and purity as that which Jesus fills you up with from the inside out.
Yes, I do say that phrase often of being loved from the inside out. Many will choose to never get it.
Yes, it is always a choice! Everything we do, everything we say is always a choice how to act or react.
Some pain never goes away; you learn to push through it. Prayerfully with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit and not just trying to mask it with all that the world makes available. There is nothing in this world that will fill the voids and give the strength that only a deep relationship with Jesus Christ can give. Trust me when I say that.
I spent my entire youth and parts of my young adult life chasing voids and masking pain of insignificance being a throw away kid. And living with the demons of what the world does to our youth when there is nothing positive available for them to believe in.
Choosing to not look the other way but stay numb to feel is my choice. Even when it seeps out of this mind maze or sometimes leaks out of my soul.
Riding that train to the stars no matter how many times I have to pick back up from it derailing is beyond eternity with Jesus as my conductor. Good bad or indifferent. My fight to not hide away is between me and the maker.
He never allowed me to leave when it hurt so bad, I needed out and tried hard to make is so long back before I knew Him.
For me if he chooses to allow me to wade through the hurts grasping for joy and what feeds the soul while doing my best to Honor in obedience.
It is what it is until it is not!
I am no better and far from being worse than what could be in this thing called life.
I will never stop dreaming; even if I stop allowing others to know what those may be.
Doing my best to own my journey and help those along the way when and where I can.
Praying for Gods strength, courage and direction for all that I am and all that I am connected.
One of many things I can say for sure; no one ever tells you what the storms and derailments in life feel like until you experience them yourself; even after the past is long gone. You still feel the shards of glass that have stuck into your spirit from any hurt, let-down, loss or injury at the hands of others. Be it what they have done or neglected to do.
Satan will continually whisper no matter how close you are with Jesus making everyday struggles real. We all handle and process life differently. Always be kind no matter what you are going through. Sometimes that just means being silent. Sometimes that means stepping back; stepping off; letting go and let what will be-be!
My sanity is the blessing that I have always been able to write out or tap out what I am feeling. Although as an adult; I have been more guarded learning the hard lessons of life and how cruel people can really be.
I have also learned to not take things so personal. Although I struggle with wasting time on anything that is not God purposed or point-blank fake.
We all have to work towards the resistance for the commitments we setup for our journey. Sometimes that resistance will be hard to get past or let go of when it hurts. But know this. Jesus; son of God; Prince of Peace will never let you go.
Sometimes you just got to feel it and stop thinking about it. “@TobyMac-Feel It” You can’t see the wind, but it moves the leaves” so does the air that I breathe fill my lungs from the creator of all things.
He who knows all things that come to pass in anyone’s life. Know our choice matters what we will do with the good, the bad the uncertainty.
Trust in God and ask Him alone to direct your path and be beyond willing to listen and move when he says move; stay when he says be still; reach out and share what he says to share; and be silent when he says not now be silent let it go.
That does not mean our human day to day will not give us weird, crazy, moments that give and take away. It means we get to choose what we will do with all of it.
What will you choose? I never planned to be here and now. However, I am blessed even when weary. I am absolute My God has greater things to come and every new day given; is His purpose to be reflected and when it is time to go home. I know without a doubt my Daddy in heaven is waiting for me as I run full throttle with tears in my eyes to be held and accepted as I never was when given life here in this world.
In the meantime, as I am working through growing forward day by day. I will cling tightly in my weird, off the wall self that I have been given. Love me, hate me. It does not matter. In the end He who has sustained me will be the ultimate judge of all things anyway.
Evening thoughts of this days events. The free spirited child I have that has found herself in NY again tonight was able to check in on my elderly mother who fell last night and thankfully did not break anything; however, she is bruised up. So my child was able to check in on her.
If it were not for my son who just had surgery and is down for 6-8 weeks; he could have as he does went over and checked in.
As I sit here and shake my head relieved a bit from this morning just thinking how I feel so many layers and not able to do a thing about them but give it to God holding on to hope and prayer.
Then my brother and sister in Christ came by to double check I hooked up the waterline right to the new refrigerator that the ice maker is not working on. Still shaking my head! Yes, I did good I hooked everything up right. And I had to call the company only after it was checked. Now they will send out a technician sometime next week and it will be fixed.
Sounds irrelevant in the grand scheme of things when so many other things are happening in the world I know. But today also was the day I had to go for a skin biopsy and I will know in a few days what the results are. Regardless of the outcome I feel very confident with this doctor that no matter when he will thoroughly keep me straight.
Why did I need a biopsy; my skin is not in high-school any longer and I have had something under my right shoulder blade for about a year now; and my daughter seen it two weeks ago. Along with that my skin is changing and just taking precautions. I get an ultra sound in 2 weeks and will determine what next based on the outcome of the biopsy next to it. Nope I will get another three hour tattoo before I let them cut under my shoulder blade especially if it is not bothering me.
What can I say I am getting fluffy and lumpy as I am getting older. If I have any type of melanoma considering before I started worshipping Gods son; I worshipped the sun.
That and being outside as much as I can sets one up for possibilities.
Layers a one way ticket to the crazy farm. Truth is when people tell me I am going crazy; I have to remind them I went a very long time ago.
I am thankful even if my load gets heavy; I unfortunately am not in a place where I can go do crafts, knit or stuff like that. I do house projects; and dive in to staying busy and keep growing forward.
I am thankful for all I am given. Truly I am; I just sometimes can't feel the blessings or the drive to keep going forward when so much is constantly happening. God has me right where he wants me. There is so much worse that I have had to deal with in life.
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
Date: 02/06/2020 Thursday
== Proverbs==21:21== (NIV) Whoever
pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor.
As my soul cries out for those, I care and
love. For healing, direction, accountability, comfort and the list can go on
and on.
I
remember Matthew 19:23-30 With God All Things Are Possible Just as the reason I even can John 3:16 16 For God so loved the world that
He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not
perish but have everlasting life.
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
==Matthew==11:28-29== (NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are
weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am
gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
== 1Timothy==2:8== (NIV) 8 Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands
without anger or disputing.
================================
Date: 02/08/2020
Saturday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/FBJJJkiRukY “Oceans
(Where Feet May Fail” @ Hillsong United
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
== Matthew==5:43-45== (NIV) [ Love
for Enemies] “You have heard that it was
said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your
enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your
Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends
rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
The
Serenity Prayer (Anonymous “Niebuhr-1934”)
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
Lord thank you for this day whatever may come;
may I always see through your eyes and appreciate the ability to choose and
find new opportunity in every situation.
Growing forward with you having the wisdom, the courage and your will in
all things.
The pain, the troubles and problems of this
life in the here and now will always swirl about us. There are far too many of us not walking with
you and even when we do filled with more human will and choices than purposing
to carry you will and direction.
I may not know where I am going here and now
other than that day to day plan to do this or that for whatever the
reasons. But I do know where I have
been. Thank you for all that I was, all
that I am and all that I can be. Thank you
for AlwaysMe just Kelly here but so much more in your design!
Thank you for all who pray for me daily! Thank you for the peace only you give!
I cannot do this life on my own; this will
never change. Though I may have been a
fighter just because the world was so cruel before I met you. It is you that sustains me now, then and
always.
Thank you for allowing me to find my focus and
way back to you; I honestly do not know what I would be if I did not have you. The blessings, the peace the love out of the
depths of darkness and unknown. Flow
through these veins in every breath you allow me to exhale.
May I reflect your peace; your light and your
promise in every step I take and every soul I pass by or connect with; this day
and every remaining day you allow.
Be with all my brothers and sisters in
Christ; all my blood and all those who have not yet come to accept it is you, Jesus!
May the faith and courage you fill me be that
of all I come to be known just as Peter learned and felt when he got out of
that boat. Be with all who are broken
and allow them up through and with you.
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
==Ephesians==2:6== (NIV) 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in
the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,
== Matthew==14:28-32==
(NIV) 28 “Lord, if it’s
you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” 29 “Come,” he
said. Then Peter got down out of the
boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to
sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You
of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” 32 And when they
climbed into the boat, the wind died down.
Weekend Services: @New Life Christian Church
https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2748877818538030/?t=1
================================
Date: 02/07/2020
Friday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
== Proverbs==21:21== (NIV) 21 Let those who love the Lord
hate evil, for he guards the lives of his faithful ones and delivers them from
the hand of the wicked.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Oh, the thoughts this mind wakes with sometimes.
First before I take off; thank you Jesus! For another day of opportunities; and for keeping this house safe with the storms that went through last evening. Simple as it sounds; yet many are impacted and are now on damage control.
Nothing new this time of year; spring coming in like a lion and soon we will experience the seasons of whatever is next for those you allow.
Train ride to the stars?
Not sure why have these words and thoughts this awakening.
I am thinking this is where our human likeness and fortitude trying to make the best, get the best and be the best in all selfishness. Finds us at battle with our spiritual being of doing what is right, holding fast to you Jesus and serving with a joyful heart.
All the while the world around us be it purposeful or not. Suck the life out of all you want us to be and experience Lord.
Feeding our spirit by giving ourselves away for good causes. Move when you say move God; stay when you say stay. Give all that I am away physically in time and talent I have been blessed and monetarily when I have it.
Is this the crossroads of what I am to do or serve next?
Most days running nonstop; work, life balance; what is that?
Work, maintain a home, keep stability for children that might as well be mine, deal with broken down this, broken down that. Holding tightly to the favor Jesus that you give.
For I know what it is like to live without you. However, why do the layers always have to be so much for everything.
What am I missing; this train ride chasing you to heaven; Jesus? Trying to avoid daily becoming that last and final train wreck!
I have to laugh when people tell me how strong I am; or how you will be rewarded Kelly for all you do. You are a saint. No, this is where I truly am part of that train wreck long ago that has always just tried to be and do for others; especially protecting that of my own blood what was never done for me. I am not strong; just spent and sometimes numb and desperate to not care anymore. I have to laugh most days because I know once I start crying, I may never stop.
It is not so bad; I am truly blessed. Even if these layers are beyond all that I have in me most days.
I remain accountable even if at a slow crawl; to all I get into. No matter if it is my fault or not.
I stand by my blood and those I step up for; even if they are not Godly or doing what is right.
I absolutely will not turn my back on a child and leave them in the hands of the world that will use and abuse them for their own personal pleasures and gain.
I will do everything I can even in my misguided path to give them the opportunity for a life and know right from wrong and who my Jesus is. The choices are their own which direction they take. Painfully so at times; for the choices you have no control that make you weary.
There is no real closure even for what you are able to be part of an end.
After awhile in this world you grow numb and focused on only what truly matters. Or prayerfully so you do.
If you are blessed with many mornings to rise up; after awhile you find what is pure, what is truth and hold on for dear life and the remaining course of the ride.
Hopefully you learn early on to keep your arms and hands inside the ride as it goes through life. So that those that bite you from the hands that feed them when in need. Well it does not hurt so badly that you are paralyzed and stuck at the top just waiting to crash down and it all be over.
In the meantime, you know the only reason you are able to get back up each day; is that of the blessing that God’s not done with you yet.
Uncertain of what is next; for even where you serve is become more like day to day work in the secular world; the joy is fleeting with the disorganization and lack of communication the choices start to weigh heavier on what to do next.
Layered up with everything else; slowly robbing the joyful spirit of showing up at times anywhere.
We are not meant to do this life on our own; however, sometimes in life remaining in truth and doing what is right and not just going out and giving ourselves away to feed what the world says is okay. Is cold and lonely.
Nothing is changed; I would rather have loved and lost than never known what love was at all; even if it was before my walk with Christ.
I would rather fill my days serving and finding things to do than ever end up with the wrong person or situations that will destroy you in life all together.
Especially when in the depths of your soul you know you whom you already belong is that of the creator of all the universe and whatever He deems is worthy.
I would rather be pure in heart and truth and do my best for and with others until they prove they are not who they pretend to be. Then week and unable to do anything without someone doing it for me. Everything has a cost and I was made to pay mine long before I was able to understand what choice even meant.
People no matter of the church; of a great stage or just down the street will always have their own agenda. As do each one of us. Seriously I do not go stepping out in faith to serve or help others without the intent of my spirit to be fed and even to really have pure relationships come to life.
Sometimes if we get hung up on expectations that ultimately let us down unexpectedly; we can paralyze ourselves when life and all those in it are not so pure.
Where would I be had I not learned who Jesus really is; and purpose to chase his blessings ever single day I am alive. Six feet from the edge I can assure you! It is not always easy; It is not always understandable and many times that ache is still deep within sometimes as much as the desire to be loved from the outside in a truth and purity as that which Jesus fills you up with from the inside out.
Yes, I do say that phrase often of being loved from the inside out. Many will choose to never get it.
Yes, it is always a choice! Everything we do, everything we say is always a choice how to act or react.
Some pain never goes away; you learn to push through it. Prayerfully with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit and not just trying to mask it with all that the world makes available. There is nothing in this world that will fill the voids and give the strength that only a deep relationship with Jesus Christ can give. Trust me when I say that.
I spent my entire youth and parts of my young adult life chasing voids and masking pain of insignificance being a throw away kid. And living with the demons of what the world does to our youth when there is nothing positive available for them to believe in.
Choosing to not look the other way but stay numb to feel is my choice. Even when it seeps out of this mind maze or sometimes leaks out of my soul.
Riding that train to the stars no matter how many times I have to pick back up from it derailing is beyond eternity with Jesus as my conductor. Good bad or indifferent. My fight to not hide away is between me and the maker.
He never allowed me to leave when it hurt so bad, I needed out and tried hard to make is so long back before I knew Him.
For me if he chooses to allow me to wade through the hurts grasping for joy and what feeds the soul while doing my best to Honor in obedience.
It is what it is until it is not!
I am no better and far from being worse than what could be in this thing called life.
I will never stop dreaming; even if I stop allowing others to know what those may be.
Doing my best to own my journey and help those along the way when and where I can.
Praying for Gods strength, courage and direction for all that I am and all that I am connected.
One of many things I can say for sure; no one ever tells you what the storms and derailments in life feel like until you experience them yourself; even after the past is long gone. You still feel the shards of glass that have stuck into your spirit from any hurt, let-down, loss or injury at the hands of others. Be it what they have done or neglected to do.
Satan will continually whisper no matter how close you are with Jesus making everyday struggles real. We all handle and process life differently. Always be kind no matter what you are going through. Sometimes that just means being silent. Sometimes that means stepping back; stepping off; letting go and let what will be-be!
My sanity is the blessing that I have always been able to write out or tap out what I am feeling. Although as an adult; I have been more guarded learning the hard lessons of life and how cruel people can really be.
I have also learned to not take things so personal. Although I struggle with wasting time on anything that is not God purposed or point-blank fake.
We all have to work towards the resistance for the commitments we setup for our journey. Sometimes that resistance will be hard to get past or let go of when it hurts. But know this. Jesus; son of God; Prince of Peace will never let you go.
Sometimes you just got to feel it and stop thinking about it. “@TobyMac-Feel It” You can’t see the wind, but it moves the leaves” so does the air that I breathe fill my lungs from the creator of all things.
He who knows all things that come to pass in anyone’s life. Know our choice matters what we will do with the good, the bad the uncertainty.
Trust in God and ask Him alone to direct your path and be beyond willing to listen and move when he says move; stay when he says be still; reach out and share what he says to share; and be silent when he says not now be silent let it go.
That does not mean our human day to day will not give us weird, crazy, moments that give and take away. It means we get to choose what we will do with all of it.
What will you choose? I never planned to be here and now. However, I am blessed even when weary. I am absolute My God has greater things to come and every new day given; is His purpose to be reflected and when it is time to go home. I know without a doubt my Daddy in heaven is waiting for me as I run full throttle with tears in my eyes to be held and accepted as I never was when given life here in this world.
In the meantime, as I am working through growing forward day by day. I will cling tightly in my weird, off the wall self that I have been given. Love me, hate me. It does not matter. In the end He who has sustained me will be the ultimate judge of all things anyway.
Evening thoughts of this days events. The free spirited child I have that has found herself in NY again tonight was able to check in on my elderly mother who fell last night and thankfully did not break anything; however, she is bruised up. So my child was able to check in on her.
If it were not for my son who just had surgery and is down for 6-8 weeks; he could have as he does went over and checked in.
As I sit here and shake my head relieved a bit from this morning just thinking how I feel so many layers and not able to do a thing about them but give it to God holding on to hope and prayer.
Then my brother and sister in Christ came by to double check I hooked up the waterline right to the new refrigerator that the ice maker is not working on. Still shaking my head! Yes, I did good I hooked everything up right. And I had to call the company only after it was checked. Now they will send out a technician sometime next week and it will be fixed.
Sounds irrelevant in the grand scheme of things when so many other things are happening in the world I know. But today also was the day I had to go for a skin biopsy and I will know in a few days what the results are. Regardless of the outcome I feel very confident with this doctor that no matter when he will thoroughly keep me straight.
Why did I need a biopsy; my skin is not in high-school any longer and I have had something under my right shoulder blade for about a year now; and my daughter seen it two weeks ago. Along with that my skin is changing and just taking precautions. I get an ultra sound in 2 weeks and will determine what next based on the outcome of the biopsy next to it. Nope I will get another three hour tattoo before I let them cut under my shoulder blade especially if it is not bothering me.
What can I say I am getting fluffy and lumpy as I am getting older. If I have any type of melanoma considering before I started worshipping Gods son; I worshipped the sun.
That and being outside as much as I can sets one up for possibilities.
Layers a one way ticket to the crazy farm. Truth is when people tell me I am going crazy; I have to remind them I went a very long time ago.
I am thankful even if my load gets heavy; I unfortunately am not in a place where I can go do crafts, knit or stuff like that. I do house projects; and dive in to staying busy and keep growing forward.
I am thankful for all I am given. Truly I am; I just sometimes can't feel the blessings or the drive to keep going forward when so much is constantly happening. God has me right where he wants me. There is so much worse that I have had to deal with in life.
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
==Romans==8:28== (AMP) 28 And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply
concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for
those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and
purpose.
== Psalm==42:5==
(NASB) 5 Why are you [a]in
despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
[b]Hope in God, for I shall [c]again praise [d]Him
For the [e]help of His presence.
And why have you become disturbed within me?
[b]Hope in God, for I shall [c]again praise [d]Him
For the [e]help of His presence.
================================
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
== Proverbs==21:21== (NIV) Whoever
pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor.
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/Ejycllx5iwA
“Unfinished”
@ Mandisa
https://youtu.be/MX5OqyBYKh4
“Get Back Up”
@ TobyMac
https://youtu.be/QPwd_TQpsHY?list=RDQPwd_TQpsHY “The God Who Stays” @ Matthew West
https://youtu.be/hBEyUsB7olI
“Lifted Hands”
@ Ryan Stevenson
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or
feelings):
I wish I may I wish I
might; I wish I could hold you and be held in comfort beyond anything in sight. Held tighter than anything with Jesus beyond
this human plight. I wish I may I wish I
might. All I know for sure is Jesus
allows you to hold my soul as His hope alone forever burns bright.
Crazy thoughts of
this mind maze dumping out this morning.
Perhaps hanging out with so in on the Kids in Motion days trigger the
inner nursery rhymes that as a parent just never really go away. Or, it is truly just the over whelming need
to just hold and reflect true comfort and love for all the layers that have
piled up.
Thinking how when
designing the art work that became a tattoo from a girl who cannot draw a
straight line most days.
How I was going to
just replicate till the day I die; which holds truth.
Nevertheless, I did
not get there from here just on that alone.
It was My Forever Sweet Soul King and the cross, the crown and the new
life that has given and allowed a love beyond all space in time. Connected through the spirit; forever in
the soul.
Once you accept Jesus
Christ, you can run away as often as you like; but He is forever with you.
So what if I stumble;
this song too holds so much meaning as I often think I am nothing without Jesus
and what if I fell so hard that I could not get back up.
I could hold on all the
what if’s and foolish absurdities that the world will have you believe.
However, I have seen,
tasted and felt living what the world is without Jesus before I came up out of
that water. Before I made the choice and
fully owned the decision to dive in and just keep trying to grow forward.
So I may never be
able to hold tight to you my sweet soul king in the physical being; but know
all that I am in Christ is real and forever never deserving will always love
and need all you shine through the darkness to, for and within this soul!
I surrendered to the
Lord above long back and gave Him all that I am. So even when I stumble being caught up on the
unknowns; trying to do what it is He allows me to do. With lifted hands, I move forward day-by-day one-step
at a time.
Always and forever
wanting the blessings and the best of what Jesus allows; not what this world
will try to mold any one of us. Sure, I
can say I do not care what you think you are not paying my bills. Nevertheless, the truth is; in the end,
only God matters. As badly as this
human vessel wants to be loved from the outside in and feel the peace and
comfort as His love from the inside out gives.
To know we are thought of, and have a significance and matter. To that one that matters to you.
For now each moment,
he allows me up; each moment on any given day he allows this mind maze to sing;
breathe, tap out whatever this mind maze churns with courtesy to withhold more
at times that really flows. I am blessed
beyond all this world will ever give as I await my future in my next life.
As my soul cries out for those, I care and
love. For healing, direction, accountability, comfort and the list can go on
and on.
I
remember Matthew 19:23-30 With God All Things Are Possible Just as the reason I even can John 3:16 16 For God so loved the world that
He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not
perish but have everlasting life.
The love beyond all
things; all space and time who was and is to come.
So it is just one of
those days; to no try and figure out where this maze is leading me. I am up; I am out I am blessed another
day. I am blessed for the healing
process for my son; I am confident my God will not let me down for the needs of
my daughter or grandchildren. I am
confident I will remain accountable taking care of all the results of choices I
made.
I am blessed that
even if I never get to hold that conversation and share that I know what I know
that you know I know. The riddles of
today are what will put smiles on someone’s face; and the determination to keep
going for all the tomorrow given.
I will never stop
feeling how much I just need you and all that you are in and for our King of
Kings, Lord of Lords. God speed to all
my brothers and sisters today and every day.
Thank you Jesus!
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
==Matthew==11:28-29== (NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are
weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am
gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
== 1Timothy==2:8== (NIV) 8 Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands
without anger or disputing.
================================
Date: 02/05/2020 Wednesday
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
== Psalm==33:4-5== (NIV) For the
word of the Lord is right and true; he is
faithful in all he does. The Lord loves
righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or
feelings):
Thank you Lord for
the continual awareness we all get to choose to have you as close to us as we
want you to be at any given second of any given day.
It does not matter if
when we are in our weakness or when we are on the top of the worldly mountains
we tend to climb.
You Father God are
with us through all situations if we call upon you to be. To fix our mind on all that is unseen and the
peace that only you give. Alternatively,
to toil in the torment of what this world and all those within tend to offer or
sometimes-even force upon us. We get to
choose to have as much of you Jesus as we want or we get to turn our back, our
minds and all the rest of our physical being against all that you are and in the
end get just what the world and only the world gives and takes.
Eternal peace, or
eternal regret, sorrows, torment in the final death. I choose you Jesus; with tears streaming
down my face in 1995 walking forward to that 11 year child who got on the love
bus that came through the neighborhoods taking all that wanted to go to
church.
Never knowing what it just knew during that
time the neighborhood was using me up. That day changing me forever, even if I if
it took years later to fully understand and learn what it all meant, to be
baptized the first time that day.
God’s timing is
everything; never in a million years would I predict to look back and see all
that I have made it through because of Him.
On the other hand, even know the blessings to see and know what love
from the inside out really means.
As a parent that is
not falling apart and consumed by selfishness and this world; you want what is best
for your children. When a child is
going through it in life; your heart aches to just fix all that is wrong. Knowing they have to choose once they are at
that age you can no longer make them do anything. You guide them, lead them and hope they go
towards all that is positive, ethical and moral. You pray they openly accept Jesus in their
hearts for those who are walking in faith; and those who are late bloomers in
Christ; which we are never late.
You pray that they
will learn and accept who Jesus really is for them.
Never as a caring
parent do we want to think about that final call or knock at our door. However, the world is cruel at times and in some
cases, our children rebel headstrong and think they have it under control. Sometimes their manic behavior just wears
you out and others you just want to forever, hold them like a child in your
lap.
There are times when
parents just are not in existence for whatever the reasons. Physically, emotionally, mentally or even
spiritually.
There are more times
than not in this world the gift of life the good Lord gives is tossed or left
out in the world for the entire world to consume.
The harsh reality is that
no matter what the cause, reason or effect.
No matter who, when or why. We all get to choose our next steps; be it
with God or without. Be it to practice abstinence
or give ourselves away. Be it to step up
to our responsibilities of our choices or run; be raise up the children we
spawned or toss them out before birth or after.
There is no grey area
when it comes to our choices; we do or we do not. We own our journey or we do not.
We mask it, hide it
bury it and die to the world or we do not.
Freedom of will and
choice is a gift for everyone. We get
to hate or we get to love. Just as we
get to forgive or allow all that we begrudge holding on to all that we have had
done to us or done to others. We get to
choose to forgive and ask forgiveness; allowing peace and life to move forward.
We will never get to
heaven by our good deeds or paying our way forward. We will never be the light Jesus wants us to
be just by taking a platform becoming all that the world wants us to be.
Yours, mine it does
not matter; but our relationships with God are one on one personally through
Jesus Christ. What you do with it is up
to you. I choose no matter how infidel
to some I choose to acknowledge the blessing to be called a child of God.
I choose to seek the
good in all things; and even when something or someone rubs up against what I
find beautiful and if feel the hurt because of what darkness and deception can
do.
I will still call
upon the Lord to guide me and allow me to never lose the feeling of that inner
peace and love for that soul. I choose to pick my battles and fight not be
that short-tempered reactive person trying to please the world or that child
that the world once chewed up and spit out for the insignificance I once
was.
There are no scars
too deep; no pain too great that this world will ever master that Jesus Christ
has not already taken on; died and risen again in love for me or anyone of
humanity to accept and live eternally with Him.
Far from imperfect! Beautifully broken I am just one of many
abstract pieces of this shattered puzzle in humanity. In love with a dream, that forever fills my
soul with a love beyond all space and time.
Never will I justify wrongdoing of deceit and lies that use up and harm
others.
However, I forgave
all who have purposely done harm to me long back. Taking my peace back while praying all I love
and care for do the same.
It will never be
easy; but it is real! My ego and I; may never
look at what I once did the same in the end and grand scheme of all things.
However, when there is a love in the depths
of your soul that is real and guarded.
The truth is all for the greater good, that
which is eternal leaving the here and now not to really matter so much after
all.
Lord hear all the
prayers of your children; protect and guide all that they, all that I am. Be with our families and our children in all
the choices and results that will transpire.
Our families of blood;
our families in Christ my connections no matter how or why. Lead us in your will. May it be your judgement that sets us free?
Thank you for freedom
of choice and will; thank you for this new day; thank you for all my yesterdays. Surround me with your spirit; hold me in
your love and give me your chosen and blessings daily. Amen
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
== Romans==8:6== (NIV) 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the
Spirit is life and peace.
== Psalm==46:1-2==
(NIV) For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[b] A song.
1 God is
our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth
give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
================================
Date: 02/04/2020 Tuesday
Cruising with Kelly https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2739482559477556/?t=3 (perspectives and paying it forward)
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
== Psalm==18:1-2== (NIV)
[Psalm
18] [For the director of music. Of David the servant of the Lord. He sang to the Lord
the words of this song when the Lord delivered
him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. He said:] I
love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God
is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my
stronghold
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/rkZncrPC2CU
“Lion of JUDAH”
@ Priscilla Shirer – The Speech That Broke The Internet
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or
feelings):
Thank you Lord for
this new day and all that awaits me ahead.
I give you my heartstrings this day Lord; as my first-born will be in
your hands please fill the doctors with discernment in the surgery he will go
through for the physical injuries to his shoulder.
Be with him in his
healing journey and be in his spirit for all he is of me and all of me is
yours!
Thank you for this
day and the ability to grow through and continue trying good, bad or
indifferent.
Waking up and really
needing to see what day, it was; reminds me it is time to start slowing down
and if I will plan; do so in purpose of what really matters.
Yes trying to be accountable
for all I have gotten into; all I have been blessed with. Take care of the investments you have allowed
me to be part of. Home, career, physical
being. It all matters to a degree in the here in now. However, Jesus I ask for guidance for you to
show and lead me in what matters eternally.
I cannot change
anyone no matter how much I step up when asked; or just try by leading
example. However, I can allow you to
continue to mold me for your will and not my own.
You Jesus are
unstoppable and the God of promise. I
fall short daily but desperately need you surrounding and building my life.
May I always remember
you first in which all of which the world and the business and everything we
chase daily all that the world blotted out when we forget putting you first.
Far from perfect; but
I need not ever be; you Lord are perfect within all things. Thank you for the peace and love you allow
from the inside out.
That shall not stop
me from feeling insignificant in the way of the world; it will not stop me from
trying my best with whatever I get to work with; or even on those days where I
just cannot. In the end deep within this
soul Jesus, it is you that matters!
Perhaps the lessons
long ago or even recent were just that to lead me back to you. Knowing you are with me all along; I know
when I fall short of reflecting who you are and what you do in all things;
trying to take on and be what I should not or for what I should not.
I am nothing without
your blessing and your spirit within me.
You lead me when to stay, when to go, when to let it go and when to
fight for my life with all that I am.
Thank you for all you
have put in this life as a blessing and even those as lessons. Thank you for this day of freedoms in will and
choice. I choose you!
Where that leaves me
worldly; I will not dwell on. Fill me,
guide me and always allow me to love and know what and your will in me, should
be.
Be with my loved ones,
friends and all my connections for all their unspoken needs and healing.
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
== Psalm==29:11== (NIV)
11 The Lord gives strength to his people;
the
Lord blesses his people with peace.
== Numbers==6:24-26== (NIV)
24 “‘“The Lord bless you
and
keep you;
25 the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
26 the Lord turn his face toward you
and
give you peace.”’
== Psalm==13:5== (NIV)
5 But I trust in your unfailing
love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
================================
Date: 02/03/2020 Monday
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
== PSALM== 59:16== (NIV)
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/xtiUjNT_vAM
“Grace Got You”
@ MercyMe
https://youtu.be/myP9Mvs1sOk
“You Love Me Anyway” @ Sidewalk Prophets
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or
feelings):
Thank you
Father for your daily blessing of breath in these lungs and movement in this
body another day.
May all that I do reflect my steps towards
your will? No, matter what I do, no
matter how I fall short to the world standards or into the hands who of those
who are really good at playing people out.
You love me/us anyway!
I pray
that I am be forgiven, as I will fall short every second I am allowed on this
earth.
You
Lord are with us every step of the way.
No amount of money and greed; foolishness or power can or will protect
us in the end from all that you are.
No matter
who says they are reflecting you; no matter how many good souls who have been
caught up in the power that money will buy and forget their moral values for
themselves and humanity or the lack of in this world.
You are
with us every breath we are given!
We can
put on these great façade’s pretending to be things we are not; but you alone
sweet Jesus know all things. Guide and
protect those who are less fortunate that are in harm’s way. Give strength to those who just keep getting
back up.
This
world needs healing in morality, peace and truly reflecting love. Yet the in all things the scouts are out
there scoping and acquiring information to better align their pockets, their
future their mission. Be it on their own
or for something bigger.
Even I
somedays get up take off running on some mission thinking what I do really
matters in a world that is temporal.
Sure I
stopped chasing material things long ago; and if I had a dime for every dollar
I gave away helping those in need over my career. I could have retired comfortably ten years
ago.
But
what does any of that matter. What does
it matter for a soul that cannot be at peace or to be held and truly feel
it? That it; your love Jesus from the
inside out.
Yes,
one you have that from the inside you crave the same from the outside in some
days more than others do. You dream,
desire even falter more times than anyone ever should.
Nevertheless,
you love us anyway even when it hurts https://youtu.be/3Sv_876eqxg
“Even When It Hurts” @ Hillsong
United
It is
your grace Lord, which holds me up and feeds my soul.
Forever
I am grateful but never will I ever come close to repay all you have done and
been for me.
So as I
dive into this week; be it my daily work; my weekly kids, my small group bible
studies, my home improvement projects or flipping and toying with my writing
projects. Lord be with all I am connected;
guide us all in your will.
I know
Father God; it does not and will not matter in these connections if I am blood;
or connected across the atmosphere or internet.
Be with every soul filling their heart with the truth, light and values
you reflect.
Save us
from ourselves, feeding our spirit with all that is good, all that is pure and
all that is merciful. Fill us up with
Jesus!
Thank you for allowing me to feel the need of
you in all I am this day.
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
== ROMANS==8:31== (NIV) More Than Conquerors
31 What,
then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be
against us?
== 2 CORINTHIANS==4:18== (NIV) 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what
is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
== GENESIS==16:13-14== (AMP) 13 Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are [a]God Who Sees”; for she said, “Have I not
even here [in the wilderness] remained alive after [b]seeing Him [who sees me with understanding
and compassion]?” 14 Therefore the well was called
Beer-lahai-roi (Well of the Living One Who Sees Me); it is [c]between Kadesh and Bered.
================================
Date: 02/02/2020
Sunday
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”— the things God has prepared for those who love him—
== 1 Corinthians== 2:9== (NIV)
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you, Lord, as the message from last night’s sermon
could have been directed at me. Though I did not go off like a lunatic at
the folks paid to deliver and install appliances I did allow my frustrations to
show through and although it worked out in the end; perhaps I should have just
asked if I could pray for the men there not willing to do their job they were
hired to do without so much push back.
Clearly, I do not understand why less, and less
people step up and more and more are ready to fight for what they do not
deserve or work for. But I am old school and have had to work for
every breadcrumb that has ever been on my table or floor for that matter.
Even my own household struggles with those who are great
to direct but slow to step up more times than not. However, I am
blessed for you gave me a spirit of strength and will through you all things
are possible. That spirit that this entire life even before I knew
you; has been blessed with and by.
On this unique date to be alive 02/02/2020 that only
occurred they say 900 years ago. Thank you for allowing me to be up and
breathing. As I head out the door to serve the local church; may
all things reflect you and your will and not that of what worldly day to day
can pull in and absorb.
May I have vision through your eyes, healing in your
mercy and life through your grace. May all of it reflect your light this
day and every day I am allowed.
Hear the prayers and cries of your warriors Lord.
For all the brokenness, unknowns and just lost in desperate need of a
savior. For all those stuck in the clutches of harms way; all the human
trafficking victims; in your mighty name bring justice and save
them. Protect those children going through domestic violence and
the parents who are too weak to make changes. Move them now Jesus.
May no soul turn a blind eye to the ability and choices
your free will allows. May ignorance never be an
excuse. Forgive those who have the inability to forgive
themselves. Forgive those who have done me harm in my journey; forgive me for
all I have done to others.
Thank you for this day Lord; may it be a day of peace and
rest in your healing filled with a love only you Jesus bring.
Thank you for allowing me
this moment in time. Until I am able to come back later; guide my
steps, guard my mouth and protect my heart; and all I come in connection
with. Thank you!
Lord
Thank you for a full day. Up early at church early and serving your kingdom.
Many do not get that; many cannot see why I would work so many hours any given weekend for free.
They do not get it is for something; I thrive by giving! Truly it is not what I give away that matters. It is where the blessings in the end show up for those I help and for myself as well.
I can talk about being thankful for earning a very generous bonus this year through my work. At a time that my company sold out. That it was a bonus that paid for my transmission that just quit and appliances that quit; yes, not knowing how I was going to do anything because I tend to help my way in the furnace sometimes more than not.
I will never change who I am! For this I am grateful that I have been found worthy to have abilities to work hard and do what I do; and faith in those I help that it really makes a difference somewhere. Even for those that the school of hard knocks showed me; cut it out.
I cannot take anything I have with me. That is an absolute; except the broken pieces that at times occur when I believe in people too much. Not asking for anything in return but truth and loving connections. Only to find out they can barely be there for themselves much less anyone that they have convinced to help them move forward.
So Yes, I do not believe anyone of us deserve a thing in this life and I am beyond grateful the good Lord has covered me in a time that I did not know what to do.
I am beyond grateful even if I still have many more years to run at this pace; He alone gets me back up and allows me opportunity to learn, grow and contribute even little bits and pieces that those who do not walk with Him do not understand.
I thrive and my soul smiles at all those who reflect your light Jesus even in our dark times.
Thank you for allowing us life even when we faulter. You knew in advance no matter what we do, what we say or what we will go through. You Jesus knew in advance and you love us anyway!
Your abundant grace and love reflected through your warriors. Guiding us, giving us our own courage and strength of yours alone.
Guard my foolish heart that shows up at times Jesus; may the only thing I believe in is that of what is yours alone.
Forever, your child; daughter of the most high! It pays to have been there done that and wrote the book. Laughingly the truth; no one could ever make me feel the way you do Jesus. For a time, I thought maybe there could be that which you directed; but even that was temporal and removed for whatever the reasons.
Prayerfully protecting all that I am from that of what you would have never ordained.
One thing is for sure you will never give a man another mans wife or a woman another woman husband.
Your reasoning and dreams matter for what you are calling out; for always be my future life and my strength to know. You will never give me more than I can handle until it is time to take me home. Then I am more blessed than ever being here and now.
In the meantime, hear my heart; hear all that is within the depth of this soul. Never turning back time; yet never forgetting the eternal connections in love, peace and harmony.
Insecurities of what this world is matter not; for all that is good, all that is pure and all that faithful is yours first and always Jesus.
Reconcile all that is broken; heal all that has been lost; guide and protect your children for your will and purpose alone.
I am forever yours nothing can ever change what you have given me. No matter who understands that and who does not.
So, from troubled waters, to hard times; blessings unexpected or working through a plan. All that I am; all that I have is nothing without you Jesus. Thank you for allowing me to know love and life from the inside out.
Use me and guide me Jesus! https://youtu.be/TleYjvNqKGo “The Potters Hand” @ Hillsong Worship
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
== Romans== 12:2== (NIV) 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be
transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and
approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
== Psalm== 105:4==
(AMP) 4 Look to the Lord and
his strength; seek his face always.
================================================
Date: 02/01/2020 Saturday
Verse
of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. == Deuteronomy== 6:4-5== (NIV)
Soul
Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
Daily
Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you for this new day and the opportunity to try new things. When that of what has been does not work; when it no longer works or is just not adding to the blessings of daily life. We all get to choose our efforts or not; to make changes. We can choose to fight forward with what has been or we can make changes the best we know how.
What we must always do is keep Jesus Christ in our front and center always first. The surefire way to get derailed and lost caught up and laid out on that sacrificial worldly table is to forget whom we belong to.
It does not matter if we have addictions; it does not matter if our spouses cheated on us while we are away on business or if we cheated on our significant others with those we travel with. It does not matter who covers up what or what our posse will do to help hide what is in the darkness. No matter if you walk out of your bedroom to find your significant other in a spare bedroom of the same house with someone else or live through any type of betrayal as a giver or receiver. In the end we all must own our choices.
Please do not let me make it sound like everything so negative. Our choices could be for Godly just causes. Sometime what we do for good; even then sometimes they get a little skewed.
Whatever the case we must always give it all back to Jesus; where it should have been from start to finish in the first place.
In humanity, sometimes we find the need to feed our what we call our spirit and what makes us thrive. Which cause our psyche our egos to become so blinding while we allow ourselves to belong to what was never truth.
Why sometimes we do not know; others just to feel as if we matter.
No matter what we do trying to connect is really no different from that soul addicted to what numbs them. We will never know what the end result may be in the end. At least not until it is too late.
It
is a matter of life and death mind, body and spirit that we lose pieces of ourselves
when we deal with the reality of just how badly the truth hurts at times; especially when
we continually try to mask it and find ourselves caught in the vicious cycle of whispers and
lies.
Where did our focus go; how did we lose our balance of the tight rope and Jesus being the net. To finding ourselves believing humanity had the answers.
The sting of loss loved one’s or lost time or even that of losing ourselves when the truth of finding we, none of it never really mattered as we really needed to be in the first place.
Many will find themselves playing that game of chess with their lives and everyone else’s just to feel only what Jesus gives us from the inside out.
Trying to fill voids that never will be; or by trusting the wolves who are good at what they do all the while we become vulnerable exposing our hidden secrets that are part of our survival DNA.
If we choose, we make it through; but we will never get back the time or connection desperately needed. All that is left at times is the haunting emptiness in the end as when it the cycle first started.
Our ego’s regardless of if we are walking with God or not drive us.
No one ever said it would be easy to have a life in this world; but Jesus did give us a life to be lived, loved and filled with promise of all that is good in purity and truth. When we take our focus off of Jesus even for a split second the spiritual battles of the mind quickly take over. Easily distracting and derailing. Those good intentions leading us through the path of what hell really can be like.
The hardest part waiting on God’s timing, especially for me is in the waiting no matter what the choices that were made are.
Even knowing, if we look back at our lives we can see when God was there protecting us. If we are in storms right now; if we sit still long enough in relationship with Jesus, we will soon see what we are going through today is just one more testimony of faith and God’s truth tomorrow.
I myself will never really know what tomorrow will bring; however, I do know what all my yesterdays were. And I am forever blessed.
No matter if I am that kid in a middle of a NY State winter with no heat and hot water; or on a luxury cruise vessel being waited on hand and foot. I do know where all my help comes from despite any hurts, habits or misunderstandings I have with anyone in this world.
I cannot change yesterday. It is gone.
I would not change the scars I have acquired for the life of me. I may never stop craving to really matter or have that one true significant other in this worldly life who has all the sweet soul qualities and God first in all things.
I may write in riddle or cry in song differently at any given time. But one thing that will always remain the same. I have been called to be acknowledged and walk as a bride of Christ Child of God. Loved and worth more than anything this world can give or take. For this I am undeservingly blessed and beyond grateful. I pray all I am connected the peace and well-being that my God has given me for all no matter what is or is not happening in your worldly lives.
Prayers for those who are chronically sick; for those suffering from injuries, those going in for surgeries. God you know all of them by name. Heal them in your will and love. Heal all who are broken from the inside out Lord; as I ask for continued strength and mercy for myself. May all that I am as child like or imperfect as I am most days.
Jesus, reflect in me; around me; even just a glimmer of light and hope for anyone I interact with. May I never become bitter and vial as the world says we should be from life in this journey.
Thank you for allowing me this day.
Meditation
Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
== Psalm==
105:4== (NIV) 4 Look to the Lord
and his strength; seek his face always.
== Psalm==
91:11-12== (AMP) 11 For He will command His angels in regard to you,
To protect and defend and guard you in all your ways [of obedience an service].
12 They will lift you up in their hands, So that you do not [even] strike your foot against a stone.
To protect and defend and guard you in all your ways [of obedience an service].
12 They will lift you up in their hands, So that you do not [even] strike your foot against a stone.
== 2
Corinthians== 5:7== (NKJV) 7 For we walk by faith,
not by sight.
Weekend Services: @New Life Christian Church
https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2734602289965583/?t=6
Weekend Services: @New Life Christian Church
https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2734602289965583/?t=6
