04.Wk1_2020_April(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)

 

=====April Verse of the month for the Mandisa Word Warriors found  @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020.===== TBD and MSG version

 

Ephesians 1:4 (TBT)
⁴ And he chose us to be his very own, joining us to himself even before he laid the foundation of the universe!^[a] Because of his great love, he ordained^[b] us, so that we would be seen as holy in his eyes with an unstained innocence

Ephesians 1:4 (MSG)

^3-6 How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his

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Date: 04/04/2020 Saturday

Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):

Ephesians 1:7 NIV

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

https://yutu.be/V6hQ9HSKlIE “Give Me One Reason” @ Tracy Chapman

https://youtu.be/eSV-pRGbg4k   “Red Letters” @ Crowder

https://youtu.be/YXiAxm2YcPI  “Home” @ Nathan Taylor

https://youtu.be/jJhsexd8Qqg     “Held” @ Natalie Grant

https://youtu.be/tJVxJrUTwGU     “Your Great Name” @ Natalie Grant

https://youtu.be/rdlPVBvkr-s      “Lean On Me” @ Bill Withers

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you Lord for this new day; for this morning I am up so I could have my five minutes of Facetime with my son.   Though I will be just starting these thoughts and coming back to it later.   I am grateful for even the five minutes to see the face of my first born you allowed me.

First and foremost, I pray His protection and guidance working in the hospital. Doing labs and drawing blood. I know you have filled him with the warrior spirit all his life.   Protect and guard him and his wife and all my other family I have back in NY state.

You have always been faithful, and I know your will be done no matter what I feel or do.

As I just could not sleep last night, staying up watching movies and letting this mind burn.   I will go back for a while after this morning cup of coffee and listen to the birds from my room.

My thoughts last evening 

Wide awake feeling this nightmare of 2020.  Praying to the one and only who sustains me.  

If only my family knew you Jesus.  Knew you as I know you!  And I am still learning daily.

All I can do is lead in this shortened path.  

Oh, but God, we can never put you in a box.  No matter who believes. 

Run away run away in the depths of love forever into the depths of twilight.

What is this place we call home?

  Humanity beyond all reason as they removed the stone.  Rolled away on the 3^rd day up unto the throne.

King Jesus show yourself once again for your children.  Show yourself Father God, you now have this universes attention.

If you say not yet, may we reflect brightly your promise of eternal love.  There is no doubt as I know, we will rise above.

Run away run away in the depths of twilight.   Your mercy Jesus, in this battle of darkness as God the Father has already won the fight.   You have already won this fight.1

As dusk turns to dawn.  The roots are deeper than beyond.

I misunderstood portions, while the other I gave warning like some fool the worlds mockery didn’t give it a second thought until, well you know; the bus was driving home and the it stopped the show.

Dreams, visions may I forever see with Gods heart, will and only His sight.   

What comes next as here and now I can barely close my eyes.  

 Needing the real you; Jesus Christ!

The fight is truth for your abundant light!     

No longer if it ever was  about just wrong or right.    

The love that burns in this soul; I find myself running to you forever more.   

The glimpse of passion that is priceless, the promises of hope; no matter how dark this world becomes in you nothing is lost.   

 You will meet us in the stillness.  May we just stop wherever we are and let go.

Allow us Lord to meet here again;  just to be held, naked to the core.  Bare bones, you and me; no technology; no interruptions.  In you I am home!

To feel the purity wrapping around the temples we are given as you are calming all storms.   There is no lust in your promise in only hope now.   open all the windows, all the doors; scream and shout.   Our God is an awesome God and He lives forevermore!

What was is no more, like some point along the way a child in awe walking past that window in the store.  

  I looked up hearing and just seeing.   That of my dreams; something about what and who you are.  

Never able to put a finger on it; especially where I sit in the here and now.

  Never to regret, just knowing my someday is beyond the galaxies; beyond space or time, eternally forever more.

  Love has a name and that spirit and laughter that washed away the tears.   Faith over any fear.  Even if the pains are felt deep within this heart.    Hope now, that is who you are.  

Be it a kid in a fourth-grade class learning to sing Lean On Me and the melodies carrying this soul through out life.    We all need someone to lean on.   Through time, through music, through you Jesus.   

Shine the light!    Allowing the world to know the difference and that is alright to lean in and on our fellow brothers and sisters. Never an expectation just willful truth in purity.  That Godly sustenance that gives us life.

Wash away the darkness, this virus or the next; may it all be washed clean in you; Satan be gone!  As Jesus Christ is far more than words in this blog or any text.

So as this tired mind that somewhat a creature allowed to live; here we go, releasing the electricity that flows out in you Jesus.  Blessed in you, I am forever at home.  

 No matter where you tell me to go, to do, to be; or that of to just be still. Stop no movement, no running; do not roam.

These riddles may I come back to later this day.   For now, I ask to go rest in your depths as I pray.

Thank you, Father God, for what is, what was and what will be!   Thank you for allowing the beauty and the love in and with my dream.  

To serve you alone my king. To serve you alone is not as strange as some may seem.   For if this is what love feels like; than at the cross with you I will forever bleed.  

  If for no other reason but just to breathe you in allowing others to know what pureness in the beat of your heart is for me.  With hands lifted high; praying protection over all trying and sacrificing themselves.    Jesus your presence with all your angel armies and cares.     Save us from our selves; show us the way, your will show up now; show up here!     Forever in love; thank you Son of God, Yahweh, Jesus Christ.  Thank you for allowing me breath and this life. 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 

Zechariah 2:13 (NIV) ¹³ Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.”

2 Chronicles 16:9 (NKJV) ⁹ For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. In this you have done foolishly; therefore from now on you shall have wars.”

Psalm 23:2-3 (NKJV) ² He makes me to lie down in ^[a]green pastures; He leads me beside the ^[b]still waters.  ³ He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.




There is a time and place for everything

Release the burdens of all unknown 

Love and protect who you are with 

Know if you are with no now. You are with Jesus himself 

For no deeds against you will go unpunished 

It is not our burdens to bare.  

Leave them at the cross

Breathe deeply exhaling slowly in Christ our King has paid the penalties for all

Bow before and after our one true God. Pray loudly from within. 

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Date: 04/03/2020 Friday

Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):

Hebrews 12:2 NIV

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

https://youtu.be/eSV-pRGbg4k     “21 Years” @ TobyMac

https://youtu.be/sZnRzQ3_udE     “Still In Control” @ Mack Brock
https://youtu.be/sQTnREEtuNk    “Fear Is A Liar” @ Zack Williams

https://youtu.be/4wNpOeakhEM     “I Just Need U” @ TobyMac

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you Jesus for another new day; and more importantly the days as yesterday that you were flowing from these veins.

Knowing you are here when things get out of control or your heart breaks because you cannot help those who do not cling to you.   Watching them spin out of control and slowly run towards harm and not trust in you.   As I play the song in my head the one-line sticks clearly.  Did you see this from a long way off?    

As our hearts are shattering in those thousands of ways for our loved one’s that we want so much peace, love and good things for.   Yet, all uniquely made and now they are grown making their own choices on how they react or even what they will listen to when they ask you for advise; yet they make everything so personal and flip out and run into the darkness.

Being a parent is one of the hardest and longest jobs we will ever have.  But that you know Father God; Your heart breaks daily, millions of times over and over again for the son’s and daughters you allowed to be that are lost and suffering not knowing who you are.

As my own child has been struggling with the fact that her beautiful first born who has worked hard all her young life to please her mother.   Staying focused on her grades, at 18 working three jobs while duel enrolled with her last months of high-school and college.

Never quitting despite the let downs of things not working for her; or however many times her mother would get mad and walk out on her or threaten her to send her to her Fathers.

Now I don’t know over time if that would have been better or worse.  But I know God you have a plan that you have allowed and had me step up and give stability to these children.      I am not sure what happened; but I know you Jesus, these children as everything; all belong to you.  

How to get each one of these souls to fight forward and know you Jesus.   I wish I knew how to do that.

Hell, I cannot even get my child to listen to reason.   Instead as she did even in this mess our world is in.  She packs up and goes and get’s a room to be out of the house because things got heated and felt attacked when I was woke from a sleep and she is trying to get me to have one listen to reason.   I and I say calm down; breathe and relax.

She loads two of the three up to go stay in a room that no one knows who was there.

This pandemic is hitting so many with anxiety, sorrow and loss and even those who will give up fighting depression and suicidal thoughts.

It is more than me getting lazy and worrying what health risks may come if I do not keep moving.  It is more than the new normal’s being around those family and friends we live with 24/7.   It is more than worrying about what is or is not.   

When you have a loved one that suffers from anxiety so badly that they end up hospitalized two or three times a year.    And they do not listen to reason to calm down.   Or find that place in you.  Instead they make it all about them.  Making irrational decisions putting themselves at harm and those they need most.

Panic is real.   As this all started because mamma demanded the first born as she walked in from working at the market all day; to go change and wash your clothes and shower before doing anything else.   And the child tired, not feeling well herself and filled with all that stubbornness of all the generations before.   Not wanting someone demanding in her face.

What happens then when they butt heads get loud.

Well I get woke from dozing off in my room; and come out to see what is happening into the erupted volcano and lava flowing.

Now with one sleeping in bed and mamma and two others at some local hotel.

I don’t get it Lord.   Somethings are just up there I will never understand it; but I pray you have a plan as you looked across the Jordan then, and for all those in question and pain for the loved one’s they have lost or are losing.

WE never had them as they all belong to you Father God!

The biggest lie we can ever believe; is that we have some control and make plans how we will make something change for others.

Not saying what we were doing or working towards and even at times recruiting others to participate in thinking we can make a difference.    Sometimes the messes to be made, the losses to incur the unknowns are just meant to be unknown until God who is still in control makes the final decision.

Yes, we must do our best to live, love and move forward even when he says be still!  

We all handle crises differently, especially when the entire world appears to be going mad in this pandemic.    Will we all survive.  No not everyone; not even sure about anyone in my household or those I love those that are the blood of my blood.  Blessed for life so long ago.  

Even before this I myself was starting to feel the changes of holding on to my own stresses.   This is not something new.     Giving up, giving in.  Quitting on me when the let downs of so long ago pulled me out of the desert trying hard to believe in this place, this world and the humans I have been allowed to be connected.

Only to know even when we belong to you Lord, the lies and struggles of others will certainly never change the stripes of the leper.   They just get really good impersonating what they wish they could really could be. If only they could truly give themselves to you.

Nothing hurts more than seeing those you love, hurt, broken and lost to what didn’t have to be.

This world has always been a hard-cruel lesson if not careful to stay focused.

The journey is not over, but the new normal is about to rise up.

Gone are the broken bones, the unknown results and reasons why if it is not cancer, the torn this, cut that.  Bruised and battered, having a little taken out something new to save your life put in.

Four months stay in a hospital bed this time or three the next.

So sick where you sit up and fall over those memories and words.  They will need to be careful because they are not like anyone normal.

Frozen in the home you live as the frozen ground covered in snow.  Blessed we had running water even if it was freezing cold.    Washing up, washing our hair and walking a mile to school just to have warmth, relationships and somewhat of a meal if we remembered to go eat.

We are not defined by this world Jesus, unless we choose to be!    WE ALL were given equal blessings of freedom of choice, freedom of will.

Digging back to see as a parent where did I go wrong, growing up with my children.   The seeds of you were planted, even at one-point teaching Sunday school classes and making them go.

Just trying to give them the best direction and opportunity with what little I was able to keep growing forward with.

Remind them of your Love Jesus!

My children have such big hearts; even yesterday this crazy daughter of mine helping a homeless person with food, water and giving a sleeping bag.     As this mother keeps reminding her she cannot be in contact right now.

As she herself had this breakdown last night because she is worried about her own working an essential job to pay the bills she has.      I know this will pass; just as the healing and changes we have overcome in our journeys thus far.

It does not matter if it is hiding from a pandemic virus, cancer diagnosis, unknowns or silent screams that create our anxieties.

In the end you Jesus are all that matters.

No matter who steps up and walks beside you, with you, for you to and with Jesus or who thinks they won whatever invisible battle they have staged in a war all their own.

On this day, I am thankful for the blessing of yesterday and any unknowns of a tomorrow.

I pray all that I am, all that I love.  You guide, protect and fill up my children guiding them to your kingdom.   Purge all the darkness Father God.   And if we must experience any of it; guide your children to reflect who you are.    Guide me as you have then, now and any tomorrows I am given.

Heal all my connections mind, body and spirit.  Wash over us, through us and surround us in your heavenly protection and will.  In Jesus Name!  Amen

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 

2 Corinthians 4: 17-18 “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long.  Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever.  So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”

Isaiah 26:20 ²⁰Go, my people, enter your rooms
and shut the doors behind you; hide yourselves for a little while until his
wrath has passed by.

 

Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)   ²⁰ Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

2 Corinthians 4:18 (AMP)   ¹⁸ So we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are unseen; for the things which are visible are temporal [just brief and fleeting], but the things which are invisible are everlasting and imperishable.

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Date: 04/02/2020 Thursday

Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):

Matthew 20: 17-19 NIV

Jesus Predicts His Death a Third Time

Now Jesus was going up to Jerusalem. On the way, he took the Twelve aside and said to them, “We are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and the teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified. On the third day he will be raised to life!”

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

https://youtu.be/SwtfIL52k5o    “All My Life You Have Been Faithful” @ Tasha Cobbs Leonard

https://youtu.be/a1fFkPtOojQ   “See The Light” @ TobyMac

https://youtu.be/ezcQyq0SD_0    “Worthy” @ Elevation Worship

https://youtu.be/6ni5_JGRrgs     “Breakthrough” @ Red Rocks Worship

https://youtu.be/BcJbzuyp6VY      “You’ve Got A Friend” @ Carole King

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you Jesus, for allowing me to wake with songs in my heart and knowing you have always been faithful, and knowing no matter what is ahead of us we will together see the light.

Though the roads your children will be called to travel may be burdened with the layers of the world. With the layers of those around them that do not believe.  Your promise allows us to know you will never forsake or leave us.  No matter how weary we grow or how much panic or anxiety the world throws our way.  No matter how many tears or uncertainty we may feel ourselves.  Your power and presences will never stop the worship deep in our souls.

There will be victory for all those who hold to you Father God, be it here and on the other side.  The circumstances here even when life seems like some futuristic movie unfolding all around us.  The future is here and now; but so are you.

May we talk with you first remembering You, Jesus alone are in control giving the power and blessings for all we are allowed to be or do.

I will never understand why you allow me to know your love Jesus.  I am just a spec in this vast universe that is spinning so ever fast towards out of control.   Yet you allow me to know the air I breathe is the blessing of you love, mercy and grace.  For this there is no other greater love that will ever compare.   For this to be filled and all that rejection, and emptiness I had for so many years washed away.   Knowing the in the depths the beauty and pureness of souls connected and running after you Jesus.

Thank you for these moments in time.   The new normal for this here and now have not  yet been set to what direction you call us.  But Jesus you are calling your children.  We need no building, no understanding.  Not even money, or fancy anything will do.   You want all of our full attention.   With our faith being far grater than any fear that those who do not know you will ever consume us with.  Even when we cannot see; even when the noise becomes too great with nowhere to go.

We have a home in you; may we find that space and stop what we are doing, and just give all  who we are to you;  it will not matter if we are dirty, clean, it will not matter if we feel weak or weary.  We are home in you Jesus.   May every son and daughter reach up, confessing the love and need for you Jesus.    May that no matter who thinks they are in control ever change.

Hear the cries of your warriors!  Those that cried out many years ago and those who will cry for the first time now.      Your promise, Your love, Your Mercy and abundant grace!

You are a good Father!  Abba, Son of Man.  Prince of Peace the maker of the sun and moon.  Fill our leaders, our Pastors, our all who know you with this everlasting guidance and protection from the darkness and ourselves.   Forgive us Father we know not what we are doing.

Only you can rescue, heal and lead us as you intended when humanity was created.   No illness, no brokenness, no loneliness, no lacking or needing.  You fill the air with all you are fill our souls allowing us to burn for you.   May the love between be two be led by you first washing clean and in fresh starts.    May those now unevenly yoked be released and guided in your will and direction.   Heal the inner pain we carry for all that has been lost.  Allowing us to humbly sit before you even if the tears are streaming down for what we were given then taken away.

May we know nothing comes through your children that has not come through your hands first.

We cannot go back, with tomorrow never promised.   Wash common sense over this world Lord.

Thank you for allowing me to feel you flow through these veins.  Thank you for all I have been given, all that has been taken away no matter how.  Thank you for allowing me to know you God.

All I am is yours and I cannot do this on my own.  Thank you for meeting me in my dreams, in my awakening.  Thank you for never giving up on me then, now or anytime I fall short and forget I am a child of the most high God.      Come Holy Spirit fill your children and all those who read my words this day.  If they do not know you; convict them and may they be washed over to know your blessings. Now and any days given.

Jesus thank you for loving me; thank you for allowing me to fall in love with you and seeing what that is and can be.   No matter how crazy it looks to the world.   Thank you!

For the breath in my lungs this new day; for the possibilities ahead; for all that was; all that can be and just for always allowing me to be me.

For the same God that allows me life; allows me to be forever in love with my dream and it will forever be more than alright~

For the warmth running through me is far deeper than the oceans wide. Far better than that favorite sweet lie.   More real than you or I.   This is forever my dream in love will I be.  More than anything that has ever been.   This is God's chosen path, my destiny.  

Don't freak out, of what you do not understand.  It is far beyond any common relationship between a woman and a man.     Something I never imagined, I never planned.   Lover and keeper of my soul, Jesus; has let me know all things of  the sweet soul king in these dreams forever.  A blessings of all that is good. To remain pure, remain true.    Know that our Lord almighty allows what He wishes, things we will never explain or even want to undo.

Not my time, not the point, not the reason not even a ploy.    Sometimes that is what is so real is never understood and that really is not a big deal.

Only God knows and for this is all that matters in the end.   No matter what is good, bad, unfinished or never began.     I am a child of God, with all things only He matters and fully understands.

 Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 

Philippians 4:19 (NIV)   ¹⁹ And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

2 Corinthians 4:17 (NIV)   ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

John 15:1-17 (NIV)   The Vine and the Branches

15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. ³ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴ Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

⁹ “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵ I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶ You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. ¹⁷ This is my command: Love each other.

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Date: 04/01/2020 Wednesday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

https://youtu.be/R3SjCuSkaNs   “I’m Not Who I Was” @ Brandon Heath

https://youtu.be/bvTz6k7cTIA  “Who Am I” @ Casting Crowns

https://youtu.be/8ulEGBEtJXU   “The Motions” @ Matthew West

https://youtu.be/4auVbztYxJc    “I Look To You” @ Stars Go Dim ft. Social Club Misfits

https://youtu.be/thSOeSduSDQ     “You Are Loved” @ Stars Go Dim

https://youtu.be/cgpvCVkrV6M   “Better” @ Pat Barrett

Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):

Psalm 14:1 NIV   [ Psalm 14 ] [ For the director of music. Of David. ] The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good.

 Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 

1 Thessalonians 5:17 (MSG)   ^16-18 Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 (TPT)   ¹⁷ Make your life a prayer.

Proverbs 3:6 (TBT)   ⁶ Become intimate with him in whatever you do, and he will lead you wherever you go.^[a]

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you for this new day and as the birds sing out in the dark and we start shuffling around to get things going for the day.  I as always awake in the wee hours just reading and playing games that I could barely even see.

Rolling back over to awake purposing to make this routine as normal as possible.  Hair, little makeup today and of course always dressing appropriately.

I know what does that mean?  Well if anyone has seen some of the planned and unplanned mishaps for on-line meetings.  You will know not to be in your pajamas or unmentionables for the public to see.  Much less anyone you have a business relationship with.

Presentation is everything, even if a sloppy hair bun with sweats and your favorite oversized t-shirt could work in comfort 7 days a week.

You never know who you may run into right.  Kind of like that old myth of making sure your color coordination of your undergarments always making sure they are clean; you never know if you are in an accident.   That one took me a little while to realize.  When our first responders are coming to the rescue; clean may be an absolute but they really are not looking to see if you are wearing name brand panties or if they match.

Okay yes some may; because we are all human and our minds tend to always wander and sometimes among our peers, our brothers in arms our co-workers we share thoughts out loud.

Yes, this mind maze of mind and how the heck did I get here from there.   

Better yet me waking up with the thoughts of this world has went from Apples from the Garden of Eden to Apple Bottom Jeans all the way to Apple devices, watches and such.

What does it all mean; well I question what does it mean that it is what is coming out in the front of the line for these thoughts this morning?

We have been blessed over the years beyond all get out!   However, the more we have grown forward we have lost our way forgetting or never even knowing who allows us to even be here and now.

It is not until national tragedy, wars or pandemics occur that maybe God get’s everyone’s attention for more than just saying thanks God and forgetting who and what He truly is to this universe.

When we become so busy and chase everything in this world more than we sit back and appreciate all that is around us.    Even the music we love so much someday will stop playing.

From the birds singing in the dark on this much cooler morning; to the song King of the world playing in my head.

I pray with all that I am for me, for my family and all I am connected.  We never stop purposing to meet Jesus right here, right now, right where we sit, stand or lay.

Get to know and talk to God about every aspect of every moment in your days allowed.   No matter how long or short.

Feel the excitement in all He calls you to do.  Let His spirit be allowed to fill up your heart with love and your spirit with peace reflecting hope.

Even when sometimes we just have to know not saying a word it will be alright even in the darkest hour.

Sometimes we just have to be still, sometimes we just have to trust what we do not understand and step out in faith bigger than anything we may know.

My soul thrives on serving others. 
 It is just who I have been for as long as I can remember. Truthfully, I had to make myself connect and serve the church because I would constantly get caught up serving and helping those who were users that had selfish ambitions for their truthy wasted, greedy purposes.

Yes, my skepticism held me back in the beginning making sure I didn’t get caught up even in the churches as we know even, they can be something they are not and should not.

Over the years I have been blessed and truly believe everyone needs to find a good, bible-based teaching church, Pastor and/or leaders.  Not legalistic, not man written.   But those who have God deep within their veins and they live and breathe to speak the truth in love and hope for humanity.

When you find those brothers and sisters that you can talk about life with, and still purpose to grow forward learning who Jesus is and who he see’s you as.    Life changes.

For years because of my life, I thought about being a motivation speaker.   There are many true scenarios I could put out there to let young men and women know not to believe and get caught up in.   That our strength and courage comes from God and within.  If our emotional bank account is not filled up with positive deposits we walk around empty and broken.     God fills every void I can assure you.

Know, we are not what anyone has ever done to us, against us or taken from us.

My struggles over the years have been real; even when I would serve the church.  It took me a long time to stop looking to see who was looking at me or judging me.   It took me a long time and even sometimes today I still struggle with the human side of all my scars and rejection over the years.

However for a many years serving the church and growing forward,  working in the tech booth for media, then lights and every so limited often sound.    Sometimes when not singing from the booth I go up with my brothers and sisters and fill my soul praising and worshiping.   From tech, to music to at one time for many years getting up every Saturday morning going over and baking for 900+ visitors and the hospitality kitchen.   To managing the prayer newsletter until all those sweet souls that I grew to know and love; well it hurt too much to see how much some were hurting and needing God.   There has been many opportunities I have been blessed to step up and in just to help.

Which helped me grow forward.     In and out of the church having the most rewarding see blessings come alive right in front of me.    As a prayer partner and prayer warrior; unqualified little old me with a heart too big at times I was allowed to watch so many of those Prayers come alive and God being praised for healing, and hope filling up the rooms in the souls that were in need.

   Even my own over the years.  Let’s face it I am a girl from an old Irish Catholic broken family.    Long before I met Jesus.  I would talk to God and looking back now; I know without any doubt he was the one who sustained me. 

Control is an illusion you all.  We may be able to control things and even people temporarily by various methods.  But God is ultimately in control!

If there is anything on this earth in any days, we are given that you want His favor for.   Meet him through His son Jesus Christ. 

Then keep meeting him and learning and growing forward with Him.   Put down your fantasy of whatever.  For me in my younger days when I was not trying to survive. 

 It was having that Ozzy and Harriett type of family with the white picket fence and all that loving kind husband.

Over time I put up my own white lattice fence and well unfortunately long before that fence; I had been through two divorces.   That one who promised to be there for us that I had to flee because of cruel and inhumane treatment and the other that well let’s just say even if you know someone your entire life.  You never really know them.  

Abandoned all my life; I was, and I had been.   From a throw away father, to a mother fighting to live caught up in who she was and not what her responsibilities were.  It’s okay; I survived and need no sympathy.  I learned over time what life as a human really is and how imperfect we are with our own mistakes and journey to make it through.

My scars have blessed me with that it must have really been like for Jesus as he was looking down off that cross.   Knowing how cruel the world would really be some day.

But also knowing He has Risen and will be coming back again.

I will never be deserving of the blessings I have been given through any of the trials, brokenness, storms or any days we are allowed.   However, I will always be in love and need God the Father, His son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit to never allow my steps to falter away from all that is good, in truth, love and abundant hope.   No matter what!

Easter and the world this year is forever changed everyone.  God is on the throne.   Spend time getting to know and learn who you are to Him as you sit at his feet watching the story unfold of what is next.

Have a blessed day or evening wherever you are.