Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption**** (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)
===May Verse of the month for the Mandisa Word Warriors found @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020.=====
Ephesians 1:5-6 (TBT) 5–6 For it was always in his perfect plan[a] to adopt[b] us as his delightful children, through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that his tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify his grace[c]—for the same love he has for his Beloved One, Jesus, he has for us. And this unfolding plan brings him great pleasure!
=====================================================
Date: 05/16/2020 Saturday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/aPgeaiaKHkg “You Still Do” @Terrian
https://youtu.be/yJY83Hbduvg “I’m Gonna Let It Go” @Jason Gray
https://youtu.be/gbQ6Lfh5L14 “Known” @Tauren Wells
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Life that big
ole sticky bun. You just never know what
sweetness will draw pests and insects to try and steal away even the tiniest
bits of crumbs or where it will be so messy you feel like your drowning, you
will be destroyed if something doesn’t change or if anyone finds out.
Those days will
come where the epiphany that light goes off and we see the self we once were
and sometimes get stuck on who we are here and now.
As I am sipping
this coffee readying to take a ride this early morning; go do something with
this crazy head of hair. Yes, masking
up and going to get my girl to fix just something that will allow a comb to go
through it without being such a nappy head and pulling out what hair I
have.
All these long
layers that are so dry and need to be cleaned up.
We all need to
be cleaned up and really look at ourselves.
We all need to know just because we wash clean on the outside it is the
heart that truly must be purified. It
is what and why that is deep down in the soul you are given.
None of us are
promised tomorrow yet we all chase everything of this world like it
matters. Problem is not the chasing but
the fact when we get it; IT is never enough.
I try to raise
my kids up to do their best at everything they get into and be happy doing
it. That every action there is a result
and/or reaction. And every reaction,
every result has an impact on someone else.
It is okay to want and get for that matter. However, we should never step all over
others just to get the things we only will discard or tire of later.
Our children
can be the master manipulators especially when they are caught up or they just
cannot shake that me’ism. When they are
lacking something; they are overachieving trying to fill that spot with
something else. You know those moments
we can no longer get them to listen to reason.
Unfortunately,
when they get caught up in that something else no matter how badly we want to
save them, change them, and bring them back to who we know they really
are. I so wish it were just easy as bringing
them to the mirror to show the reflection of how God really sees them. Thinking about it even I have a hard time
somedays to bring myself to the mirror and see God in me.
No matter we
all have to find our way and well fight our way through that sticky bun where
somedays are really sweet and we think we have IT! Then others watching them, and our own beings
and spirit being devoured by those little micro ants along the way. Just
sucking the life out of everything.
WE ALL have to
come to terms with our journey and who we are and what we will let our spirits
consume and believe.
As long as we
have air in our lungs, and we are given a new day. As long as God allows us back up. No matter where we are; it is never too late to run to him and give everything we
have, everything seeking His will, His direction and His Love, Mercy and Grace.
We are all
broken, and we all want the best of the best.
Be it for ourselves, for our families, for those we care about and
especially those we do not really know yet we care for them anyway.
Only Jesus can
fill those voids as your friend, father, brother, sister, lover, and keeper of
your soul. Only Jesus can reflect what
is really tied to him or what we really need to be paying attention and running
as fast as we can in the opposite direction.
Only Jesus can
guide you through what you never understand and even when it does not look like
you thought our dreamed. He shows you
just how okay it really is on the other side.
He alone fills you with the peace and you know it is okay.
Let go, Let
God! Never really know what that
meant. I have just never been one to
broadcast all the wrong doings in this life.
Do I hold onto speculations and facts and see things with my own eyes
let the layers of this journey see people through my layers? Be lying if I said I was not judgmental. Kind of like walking into a Walmart store and
trying not to stare sometimes when your mind just cannot fathom why someone
would dress in such a way.
Anyway I
absolutely fight forward daily and do not always win; many times when I get
back up I just add that one more brick to my wall of safety preventing nothing
or no one to ever get close to who I am from the inside out.
I can assure you at this age my wall must be
pretty close to heaven by now. For
every time I try and fail, every time I hurt for others or others hurt me. I thankfully am not fragile. Hurts like hell and I want to die sometimes;
but God says get back up, So I Get back up.
Allowing me over time to continue to love and most importantly draw
closer to Him!
I am thankful,
that I pray daily to see through the eyes of Jesus and when I cannot because of
all those calluses from life laying those bricks in my wall.
I play the
avoidance game. For years I have gotten
really good at shutting down; having no problem jumping behind one of my
brothers or sisters and just going about my business. No problem whatsoever just keeping my head
down and avoiding eye contact.
Anyway, as I am
sipping coffee thinking about something that touched me in this morning
reading. As I am readying to hit the
road and go get this hair treated and some nourishment back into it.
Is that no
matter how we clean up on the outside, how bright, bold good and glamourous we
make ourselves shine to be.
None of it, no haircut,
not make up, no flash, no cash. None of
it will ever be what we are judged on or for in the end when the door of eternity
opens.
Knowing firsthand
we all need to stop worrying about what others think. Stop trying to impress the guy down the
street or the person in your office.
Get your heart
right with God!
Get your soul locked in for the blessings of eternal
love, glory, mercy, and grace.
None of us are
getting out of here alive and none of us are promised tomorrow!
Do not allow yourself to be stuck in that
giant sticky bun being eaten alive by the insects a slowly but surely painful
eternal curse. That here and now will drive
you insane.
That which you
allow to eat away who you are from the inside out while trying to be that
distorted and damaging image that the world says is truth.
Seriously just
look at our political leaders and how corrupt and dirty they are constantly
living lies and doing their best to damage the other. Sorry for the analogy; but it does not take
long for the player to recruit new pawns to life’s chess game. We here
and now are all replaceable in every situation. Just look at the broken homes, broken marriages,
broken promises and all the struggles outside of the pandemic that God allows
to take place so we can come to Him and learn who we are and find our way.
Okay I am
running short on time and I need to go.
For now, Lord
you know my heart and this twisted bunch of circuits in this head. Please God send healing and abundance of peace for
all who I am connected.
May we learn to
walk with you; however, but if we cannot or do not; may we stop the gossip,
judgement and adding pain to others even if they have hurt us.
I have never
been one to speak of my personal granularities when it comes to keeping others
safe; Kind of like that never kiss and
tell mentality. However, I personally
believe in using judgement and the fact we should not be kissing in the first
place. Just say NO and DON’T do what will bring you harm later. No matter what others do or the reasons
they do it. Or how it has impacted my
own spiritual growth. Man, I am beyond
blessed with so much to be thankful for.
Even when my layers get to heavy.
Human, full of dreams and desires Oh Yes!
But I honestly
believe you do get what you put into it. Even if I do not see the reward that
suites me immediately. I know You Jesus
have something far greater that awaits this soul.
What I learn daily and can tell you is the fact
that even though a result may not be what you expected, even by those really
good people. One you never really know
anyone and two, give it all to God. Really
if he kept showing up and allowed it to happen; than take it up with Him alone.
If you got a
beef or a worry, review the why in your
heart and seek God’s counsel right where you are.
Cause the truth
is if you do not have Jesus; none of it matters anyways! Just know God will Judge everything in the
end and you do not need to hold that spin trying to worry it away as to what
next.
For now, I am
out until my next thoughts transpire.
Stay blessed,
know you are loved by something greater than I or even you can ever be.
Keep it real, with a pure heart, pure spirit
and with keeping the vessel He gives you to use daily.
Holding tight
to that moral compass, keeping your vessel clean in spirit, clean in
obedience. For we all belong to something
greater than this world will ever give or take.
So, I am back!
Cruising With Kelly 5/16/2020
Okay so those
thoughts obviously never stop for me.
WE ALL have to
come to terms with our journey and who we are and what we will let our spirits
consume and believe.
As long as we
have air in our lungs, and we are given a new day. As long as God allows us back up. No matter where we are; it is never too late to run to him and give everything we
have, everything seeking His will, His direction and His Love, Mercy and Grace.
We are all
broken, and we all want the best of the best.
Be it for ourselves, for our families, for those we care about and
especially those we do not really know yet we care for them anyway.
Only Jesus can
fill those voids as your friend, father, brother, sister, lover, and keeper of
your soul. Only Jesus can reflect what
is really tied to him or what we really need to be paying attention and running
as fast as we can in the opposite direction.
Only Jesus can
guide you through what you never understand and even when it does not look like
you thought our dreamed. He shows you
just how okay it really is on the other side.
He alone fills you with the peace and you know it is okay.
If we are going
to let go, let us make sure we know who is carrying us if the flight is to
bumpy or we like Peter start panicking as we are going under losing faith.
That when we do
even though the sting of the water filling our lungs may last a minute; we are always
blessed grasping onto the hand of God as he pulls us out and helps us back up showing
us how to love right where we are.
That gift is
more precious than anything temporary world.
But we cannot get there without our firm foundation
in Christ and again I am reminded to day; we cannot get to the Father without
going through and with His Son Jesus Christ!
No matter what the world, medications, or
our own minds try to convince us of.
When it comes
to the torment and toil, we allow ourselves to get in.
Know this. Yes, my wall may be pretty high and sometimes
damning. But God’s love is all I got
that matters. Without Him I have nothing
then, now, or ever.
It is not our job, my job; to get even, fix
it, move it, throw it out in the world and hope someone takes up my cross that
Jesus already did; I am not about
justification and taking sides. I will
fight to the end to protect and help; but once you let go, I am always back out
in the only ocean that I have ever known.
There is not my side your side or whoever’s reasoning side to justify
and make anything better or worse.
We all find
ourselves in some really deep and painful places in our journey. What has God taught any of us during those
times. Have you even really given it
back to Him to find out?
Feeling me; we
all feel with our hands don’t we 😊
Not for nothing
I can smile, but for everything the good Lord brings you, me, all of us through;
there is a lesson and need for you to keep moving forward with him.
If you are meant to circle up with that
special person, place, or thing in some other time. You will!
I get that and I know it (the
waiting and wondering )is hard I can assure.
When you let yourself down, when others let
you down, when that awesome meal your eyes says is it does not do it, that
drink does not quench you.
Ask yourself,
what is it that you really seeking that it was just not good enough. And I am not talking about settling; I am not
talking about eating garbage when you can take what you have and make it work.
In theory even
mine own, Do not let the small stuff
get to you, because there will always be something bigger waiting around the
corner to trip you up. My perspective my
thought process.
I can give a
great speak I really can; but I just like everyone else am just a mere mortal
that lets myself down often and when someone else lets me down; well usually it’s
because I like to keep it real, no expectations but just keeping it real and I just
have this thing that crushes me every time when I find out someone lies to me.
It is almost
right up there when I see those, I care about hurting and struggling and I just
cannot fix it. If you have been
following me and reading anything you will see that mad teacup ride throwing me
onto the roller coaster all the time.
Never have I
helped someone or given anyone something and been ticked off and upset because
they needed help.
However, when people
use me for their own personal gains because they cannot make themselves or most
importantly make their own efforts to fight forward.
To feed their selfish
ambitions. Man friend, family, or
foe. It just sends me adding ten more bricks
to that wall.
Over the years I have invested in so many people,
hearing their tears fall, trying to save them because they came to me; falling
in love for who they are and just wanting the best and for them to see the best
in who they truly are.
Some even as
far as helping them get their companies
started; only to see when they were starting to grow forward they would derail
and all they did was find their way into the dirty sandbox of the world; drinking
and partying their opportunities away.
Pawning every piece of equipment staying dirty. I have seen the tears of lost family, friends,
and those I thought were so close. As
they gave up on themselves and their families just to be out doing their own thing because they do not want to have anyone tell
them what to do.
Watching so
many beautiful souls given themselves away peace by peace because they listened
to the lies.
I personally came
in this world with nothing and for the majority and probably even now am still nothing,
but I absolutely know I will leave with nothing this world gives me.
But I do know
what I will have eternally is the priceless everything, God fills me with.
The peace and growth
he has given and allowed me; more
powerful and filling than anything this world will ever give or take from me. More healing than any injury from of the storms
in life or someone’s human target practice, that cuts me to the core.
Not hardened
maybe protected by that wall being so high now in this life. I can say it does still hurt watching loved ones
lose the battle; or seeing and hearing evil has harmed God’s precious
children. Tears flow for and with all
those lost to the darkness.
Especially knowing
with great faith, God had bigger plans for
me, and all of us.
Even when I am
falling apart; He has all my pieces right where he wants them.
We all have the
opportunity to be living in love as one of Gods children.
But we have to
want it; we have to work for it with and through Jesus.
The problem is;
when we just assume, we are a child of God but never once really work daily
towards that relationship much less remain obedient with any of what we are
given. Including our own vessels.
To get to God
we must go through Jesus Christ. I know
there is not probably I do say that allot.
But as this day
started with the message from Luke and reality that we think we can clean up,
go get our hair done, put make up, dress in designer clothing, have all the
beautiful things this world materially can give us. Or even when we think we can give much to
others and expect them to care past the gift.
It’s the same no matter if we are giving or taking, and we wonder why we
are still left empty.
We can ride on
the coattails of our loved ones and show up at church every week but never
read, study, talk with Jesus and think we are saved. And wonder why nothing seems to ever work
out.
Live off
someone’s fame, or curse of fame and feel like we are drowning because we can never
find our own way so we take our own methods using excuses why we don’t put on
our own fight song in Christ and go for it.
So lost, yet so
found if we would just accept life everlasting.
Sure we can dive in and go head to head knowing that Jesus
is the reason why we have life and without him filling the cross we are made up
with internally and literally; we are nothing but dust we were created waiting
to blow away in the wind. (Laminin) if
you were wondering.
https://youtu.be/zocnmbd07a4 “How Great Is Our God Laminin” @Louie Giglio
Anyway, there is nothing in this world we can do or say that God himself through his son Jesus Christ that cannot be washed away, forgiven, and used for the greater good if you let it.
Know that you are forever loved and prayed for and forgiven through Christ alone. You are you; I am me.
No expectations, no judgement as we all must come to terms with who we really are in Christ and step up step out in faith to help all our fellow brothers and sisters. In works or deed maybe; but prayers always in love, with love.
That in which they flow are the thoughts for this day. Be the real you who you are meant to be. Do it from the heart not of guilt, pity, or anything else but truth and purity. No Regrets! Life is too short.
If I could have all I know now, back in my 20’s my wall would still be but perhaps the rescue ladders I so freely give would be put to better understanding. But if not. Well It is what it is; until it is not.
Much Love, Peace and great Thanks to the one who allows me up every day. Thank you Jesus!
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV) 17 The Lord your
God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who
saves.
He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.”
He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.”
Luke 11:35-36 (NIV) 35 See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness.
36 Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and
no part of it dark, it will be just as full of light as when a lamp shines its light
on you.”
Luke 12:20-25(NIV) 20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very
night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have
prepared for yourself?’
21 “This
is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich
toward God.”
Do Not Worry
22 Then
Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what
you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more
than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider
the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God
feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single
hour to your life[a]?
==========================
Date: 05/15/2020 Friday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/0P4YdXz3LAI “Dry Bones” @Lauren Daigle
https://youtu.be/fWpvknKuYrg “Awake My Soul” @Chris Tomlin with Lecrae
https://youtu.be/IJNR0lxbIP4 “Gracefully Broken” @Matt Redman ft. Tasha Cobbs Leonard
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you,
Jesus, for your love and kindness you have allowed this soul to see amongst the
ruins of this world we live.
Firstly, Father
be with my spiritual mother and father this day. As I received word Miss Carolyn is hospitalized
and Jerry is unable to be with her due to this virus and the new normal the
hospitals and facilities have in place.
They Lord, as you know are beautiful souls and
utterly worth your salvation needs that extra healing and love wrapped around
them during this season. Especially being
split apart when they have forever been together leading the way to you.
Please bring
comfort to Carolyn while she is alone and I pray she is where some of my other
brothers and sisters of the faith work that she is familiar to allow the
doctors discernment and she can get back to Jerry as soon as possible.
Your will be
done Jesus; they are strong in the
faith.
Thank you for
this new day of opportunities I have been blessed with over the time I have
been allowed to walk this planet. The
ability to go through pain and sorrow, experience Joy and wisdom and continue
to live day to day.
Most importantly
you Father God never condemned me for the misguided foolish mistakes I have
made through out my time. Even those
that today come full circle and you graciously and lovingly remind me and
release me for those things that I had done or did to others; ill-informed.
Father be with
all of the lost souls that never had a chance in this world. All those that were condemned from the moment
they were allowed to come into this world.
Due to generational curses or the families were, are consumed by
darkness long before they ever had a chance.
You Lord
allowed me to make it through, keeping some of the painful moments exactly
where they need to stay, showing me that
is never too late to keep fighting for life, for all that is good, for love.
Be it picking myself
off the pavement after that van flipped and rolled several times as a teen or
coming out of the woods lost and away from the strangers that took me
there. Be it I was spoon fed anything
for any reason.
You Lord choose
me to be here and now. I pray none of
this journey will be in vein. Use every
single bit of it.
Breaking my own
generational curses, protecting my blood line even if it is broken; it is you
that flows through these veins and all that I am, all that I have been blessed
with or blessed to have taken away belongs to you Jesus. My entire existence, not just the moments I
came up out of the water as a 10-year-old or when I was grown.
Forgive me for
all that I did not reconcile in love before it passed. Forgive me for holding on to all that you
already have Jesus.
Thank you for
loving me, thank you for beautiful souls in the kingdom of God who love us back
to life. May I be worthy to do so someday.
No matter what
I feel, no matter what drives me crazy, no matter what I keep pushing forward for. No matter when the layers get to heavy, and I
just cannot take what is not mine anymore.
Be with the blood of my blood, bones of my bones directing and leading
them in your will, promise and protection alone.
It is time Lord, to please awaken this nation. https://youtu.be/cPnBVYl_Z8M “Awaken Us” @Building 429
Be it who goes,
who stays may all your children come back to you. May the souls of all the saints that have
gone before give those here your strength and courage. Lead us in love, in unity, in truth.
Protect our brothers and sisters from temptations and the brokenness that consume even those who are most dedicated, most admire and fill every void, every crack, every crevasse with your will, love, mercy, and grace.
Good, bad, or
indifferent every note played out; leads us back to the destination you Jesus
already foresee.
Strength, and
healing in you alone for all your creatures you have allowed to live. Forgiveness, protection and leading all who
have been lost and are in the realms of unknown Jesus. Lead them back to your light.
No matter what is or is not. Consume me Jesus from the inside out. https://youtu.be/SZ-fghqc8Oo “From The Inside Out” @Worship Video
May those who
think they have the authority to hold the gavel be reckoned with truth and
justice for all they have seen and done.
For talking out both sides of their own voices, as they look down on what
is not fitting into their own box, they think they are safe within. Jesus, you created us for so much
more.
As I released all
I am to you; with hands lifted high and pure heart I give you all that I am to
love, guide and protect all I have ever been, ever will be connected. Be it blood of my blood or the stranger over
the virtual airways. Jesus, Jesus,
Jesus! You are and ever will be all
that was, that is and will be eternally.
Consume everything thing and everyone one I am in love.
May nothing, we
ever experience, or become part of be lost to the darkness. Turn everything we can ever be in your vision
Jesus used for your purpose alone.
Heal all who
are broken here and now; comfort all who are scared and alone; calm the storms
within us. As the tears fall wash us
clean taking us to the river.
May we
surrender at the foot of your cross standing tall in and with you; May I be
worthy, forgiven, and reflective of all you see me Jesus!
God Go To Work In Me and ALL my connections. https://youtu.be/3WPbs7N-E0Q “Have It All” @Brian Johnson
Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
Ecclesiastes 11:5 (NIV) 5 As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed[a] in a
mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all
things.
Revelation 12:10 (NIV) 10 Then I heard a loud
voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom
of our God, and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.
Ephesians 6:16 (NIV) 16 In addition to all
this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the
flaming arrows of the evil one.
James 4:7-8 (NIV) 7 Submit yourselves,
then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come
near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and
purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Psalms 144 (NIV) 1 Praise be to the Lord
my Rock, who trains my
hands for war,
my fingers for battle.
my fingers for battle.
2 He
is my loving God and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge,
who subdues peoples[a] under me.
3 Lord, what are human beings that you care for them, mere mortals that you think of
them?
4 They are like a breath; their days are like a fleeting shadow.
5 Part your heavens, Lord,
and come down; touch the
mountains, so that they smoke.
6 Send forth lightning and scatter
the enemy; shoot your
arrows and rout them.
7 Reach down your hand from on high; deliver me and rescue me from the mighty waters,
from the hands of foreigners
from the hands of foreigners
8 whose mouths are full of lies, whose right hands are deceitful.
9 I will sing a new song to you, my
God; on the
ten-stringed lyre I will make music to you,
10 to the One who gives victory to
kings, who delivers
his servant David. From the deadly sword
11 deliver
me; rescue me from
the hands of foreigners
whose mouths are full of lies,
whose right hands are deceitful.
whose right hands are deceitful.
12 Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be
like pillars carved to adorn
a palace.
13 Our barns will be filled with every kind of provision.
Our sheep will increase by thousands, by tens of thousands in our
fields;
14 our oxen will draw heavy loads.[b]There will be no
breaching of walls,
no going into captivity, no cry of distress in our streets.
no going into captivity, no cry of distress in our streets.
15 Blessed is the people of whom this is true; blessed is the people whose God is the Lord.
==========================
Date: 05/14/2020 Thursday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
Sometimes the best motivational sounds that you allow in your mind are those that at first sound corny, not realistic, or just too good to be true as they wash over and through you and your mind as you listen. Never discount anything that can feed peace and spiritual nourishment into your soul and flows through your veins reflecting peace and positivity (beauty) in the not so beautiful places of our days or lives. Music, Nature, People, Places or just Things. It all Matters!
https://youtu.be/kX6uJ94VPNM “YOUR STORM IS WHAT GOD USES TO BLESS YOU NEVER STOP
BELIEVING” @Motivational Video | Uplifting Mind
https://youtu.be/BfdOP8139i4 “Way Maker” @Bethel Music
https://youtu.be/ryFS_3eBq6s “Yes I Will” @Vertical Worship
Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV) 13 For you created my inmost being you knit me together in my
mother’s womb. 14 I
praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful;
I know that full well.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my
power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly
about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Yes, I will
Lord let everyone know it is you that carries this soul.
Making ways through all the hurdles and twisted
sometimes spiraling journey it is that I take in this life.
One thing is
for sure, if we cannot believe in the power that created the universe, if we
cannot believe in ourselves to achieve what seems to be impossible.
Well how can we
ever expect anyone else to believe in us when we cannot see it for ourselves.
Without a doubt
this roller coaster we call life will give us that rush that either feeds our
spirit high or the demons low.
In any case there will never be anything this
world can give or take, say, or do that is worth more than what you Jesus have
already done for us on that cross.
May we stand
tall and acknowledge who you are and why we are here. May we love and grow forward in the presence
of your peace and Your good will.
As a parent
lessons are hard every day but like that big old sticky bun, sweet and messy we
continually learn while leading by example those we are blessed to have in our
lives or surrounding our circle of influence at any given time.
As long as we
say we cannot, we will not!
We must believe
in ourselves and grab up that moral compass and live with respect, loyalty and
hope in the one that gives us air in our lungs every single day.
No one can do that for us and if we truly do
not do it for ourselves, we will always get the leftovers of all others and
eventually you become what you let in.
At some point
we also have to let go and stop letting the kindness flow out to everyone else
and start feeding our very own souls.
Sometimes we do not get that until our layers
are so heavy, we finally crack and who knows what that looks like for each soul
walking this earth.
Yesterday was a
moment for this spirit; the first time ever for/towards my family and a very
long time in general I had just reached my maximum capacity and was washed over
with emotions openly admitting I could not do life as it is anymore and I didn’t
want to.
My choices over
the years to assist openly continually those in need including my own family
has been a blessing. But my career, my
shelter in place limitations and all the noise that this household has
always. Just got to be too much.
I have been
struggling anyway that during my workspace and time I need to have it quiet and
we all respect our space and do positive quiet things while we all share space
during the work outs.
However more
and more the anxieties and stress everyone is carrying around have become more
and more sudden outbursts over even at times things that just do not matter.
Someone is always
upset, the little one is always wanting one on one attention. Then that request to purpose to respect when
one is working on meetings and just trying to focus. While no matter what or who; when those that
lead by example just react, carry on and reflect it does not matter the one who
pays all the bills that is trying to work and maintain a job is being disrupted
with noise, and yelling and constant slamming doors.
Then this one
day I have an all-day training session that during the first lab activity of
hands on amongst the noise. We lose
internet and cable. Freaking out I
rush trying to get back online when a knock at the door come.
The cable
company so very weird; not for the outage or even the noise the kids, the kids’
mother, the pets, or what the cable disruption brings. But the cable guy telling me they cut my service
because I have a lose cable to the modem and it is disrupting those in the neighborhood
that I need to go check.
Okay really you
all; we have come a long way that someone can ride around with a phone In hand and
an application on it that picks up when your modem has a bad connection from street.
Needless to say,
in everything that is going on I just
want to get back to normal. However, I
did go in and check and yes, my cable wire was barely loose, but it was. I tightened it down and went backout and the
guy confirmed things looked better and said I was good to go and now my internet
response should be better too.
So now the
panic of getting back into the class the company paid for and said to go. And made it clear we all must do the
labs. Finally, back in and trying to
get back to the labs I started; by the way they were on a limited time and the
countdown was running out.
Well, feeling
good; I made it all the way to the end and ran out of time before completing
the final step for lab 1.
As my heart
sank, and the pressure of oh no what will my boss say, what will happen because
I did not finish.
So, anyone that
knows me, knows I am not OCD but like to do my best and finish what I start
always. Anytime I get derailed and cannot
recover or deliver well my genetics just chew me up from the inside.
I could not recover
because I needed that first lab to do the second and third. So, panic of how this would impact me was
real.
While trying to
do get back on track and managing a very bored 9-year-old all the while trying
to keep them and the pets quiet so I could work.
By the time the
end of my day came, and my daughter walked in from work and said something. I unfortunately lost it. Explaining about the internet the impacts yet
to be seen and I just broke. Letting
her know I cannot carry her burdens any longer.
Just mentally
tired and done; I have all of what I have as
blessing not only that I am able to work for it and have it. But I have for them. I do not need any of this, especially if no
one is going to do anything to really appreciate the facts of what they have. And yes, it is more than just words.
I have been
blessed to not burn my brain cells out early in life; and I worked hard for
years working two and three jobs, all the while raising my own children the
best I could. Blessed to work in
Corporate America building a career and paying the price all the way.
I am done. I do not want to be responsible any
longer. Not for everyone else’s burdens. I get
it I have a while to go before I can ever retire. My entire life I have given away my entire
savings to everything and everyone else that needed something.
My choice:
But I truly know I am purposing to clear out any outstanding I have and work
towards something, somewhere that gives meaning and does not rob me from the
peace that I am blessed with.
Yes, we can be
blessed and filled with the spirit of God and still be robbed from the peace we
are meant to have. Life happens, But
God never intended for us to be caught in the spin in the continual rinse never
stopping.
What will this
new normal look like for me? I do not
know; I just know I wish I had my camper back again and would just start
disappearing on my time off and getting back to nature.
My love for my
family, my friends, those that I truly pray the best for all matters.
As for my career and my 29plus years in IT
Quality Assurance Testing now in the Project Management world. Delivery is the most important thing in the
IT world for sure, no matter what end of the spectrum we are on.
Finding the new
normal of work, life and balance while learning what is next in a world plagued
by the unseen deadly virus or how we move forward.
Well I can
assure you for this girl growing weary and older. Not without the God that gives me life and
allows me air in these lungs each new day I am allowed up.
What that looks
like be it surrounded or alone physically.
God will lead the way even if it takes me a little while to fully acknowledge
and respond appropriately.
What that
means: As parents we want what is best
for our children, we what to save them and protect them and we absolutely do
not want them spinning in any hurts, and bad habits or even limiting the hang-ups
they may have so they can grow into their own and lead their children and legacy.
But in this world, what we want is not always what transpires. Sometimes we break before we get it that God has so much more that what we ever could and sometimes that starts with you with me https://youtu.be/xiYWfpjeiQw “Starts With Me” @TobyMac ft. Aaron Cole and just letting each fly on their own wings. Finding what is meaningful and not plainly important because we think it is.
Lord, you call
upon us all; yet many will never hear what it truly means to be loved so
deeply. ”Nothing is too difficult for you Jesus”
If my weakness
and caring soul is designed to bring me closer to you as I falter and genuinely
care what happens to others in their time of need. So be it; bring me to the foot of your cross
Jesus every time!
May I never stop
talking to you or talking about you during any of my situations of good, bad or
indifferent.
May I never
stop loving for what feeds this soul because of bad choices that others make.
Even if much of it could have been prevented if people just remain open and honest. Trying for themselves and not sitting in the
puddle of pity or sorrow because yesterday did not look like we think it
should. Thinking all we can do is
consume what eventually consumes us. https://youtu.be/Bc-sq7cJGho “Evergreen” @Will Young
Lord you are
never uncertain of what our days should be and turn into. https://youtu.be/0DQup4hd1_o “Only God Knows” @Kid Rock If
only we all could consume you as much and more than we allow this world to
consume us.
For this absolute,
Jesus thank you even in my final breakdown, my ecstatic soaring moments. None of it happens without you.
Abba please
shelter your children, guiding and leading us.
Reflecting the truth in our hearts and souls for all that matters to
you. Not allowing us to get caught up
in this world and the candy that it poisons our spirits with. Fill me with the forgiveness towards myself
and all the mistakes I have made trying to be, and do something good for me,
for my family for others in this journey.
I forgive all
who have left scars and lessons on this soul.
From the days I was able to walk through the days I found out how I came
to be in this world. With everything in-between;
Thankful I will forever love and be indebted to you alone Jesus for allowing me
to know what love feels like from the inside out. https://youtu.be/StW6ZKHRCFo “Lead Me To The Cross” @Hillsong United
Even if we
never quench that thirst, feed that hunger, physically breathe in the essence
of that one. Even if those we trust and
believe in let us down; all the while they are trying to bring themselves back
up. You God; the Alpha and Omega;
Creator of all things are with us. May I
never lose myself to this world now that you have found me and have been
leading me to the cross while awaiting my time to eternally come be with you.
Send me Jesus;
where is it you want me to be, to go?
You are, no
matter what songs set this soul on fire .
https://youtu.be/LH9ciVDDi18 “Soul On Fire” @Third Day
No matter what
movies bring me to know we are not alone, to what podcast or great speaker in
the faith speaks truth. It is you
Jesus; whatever you say, may I always just do it, never hiding behind what the
world think s or will say.
I am who I am
for you allow me to be. Lost, and found; broken and put back together in your
beautiful canvas of day to day. Needing
more like wanting; in love with what dreams are truly made of. You Jesus in my life, in my dreams forever
and beyond. In love with the souls
that seek all of you. Thank you for
this day and every day you allow me to be Always Just me! AlwaysMeKelly
I get it of why
the bus, why the soul, why the vision, why the jumping out of my skin out of my
sleep. I tried, but I missed the
mark. For this lesson was not for me to
share or warn anyone. It was to believe in
you. Beyond anything I or anyone else
will ever be able to comprehend. My
heart hurts for the loss, my ego hurts for the laughter and the games people
played out. The truth sees through what
they all thought they were hiding. Not
because of me; but because of you Jesus!
If I got to start
over again, if we got to start somewhere why not here with you Jesus? Today, Tonight we can do this together in
and with you! https://youtu.be/ZrRt8xO9nL8 “City On Our Knees” @TobyMac
More like Nations
on our Knees Jesus. Come show us the
way https://youtu.be/LsYvuxmzxX4 “Show Me The Way” @Styx Show me the way and never
allow me to give in, give up or get lost and drift away https://youtu.be/gr_eVcCAUXo “Drift Away” @Dobie Gray
Thank you for
the awakening washed clean with the final release of tears.
Guide, protect
and use me Father God! Protect, guide,
and lead all those in need and especially your children. There are no more time outs; no one will be
left on the bench. It is you https://youtu.be/PXGycbkbtW0 “It’s You” @Ali Gatie
and you alone that pursue us; may we return the blessing by
doing what we are called out as your children to do https://youtu.be/cFvjpRyJU1o “It’s You” @TobyMac Remix ft. Matt Maher and Terrian Live, Love, and bring Laughter
of the soul for eternity. Sharing only the mercy and grace you give.
==========================
Date: 05/13/2020 Wednesday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/zCj3CyjWfr0 “Finding God’s Signs in Your Emptiness”
@Priscilla Shirer
https://youtu.be/rFhPQVLkZxQ “How To Reset Your Heart” @Steven Furtick
https://youtu.be/O3WeqqTKqhU “Grace Will Lead Me Home” @David Dunn
https://youtu.be/jjypjYEXZXY “Who We Are” @Courtnie Ramirez
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you,
Father, for allowing me this day.
We are blessed
with choices of what we say, what we do, what we give away or what we try to
bury deep inside. You Lord are with us
every step of the way regardless of what those choices and/or the results that
follow after will be.
Thank you. Some days are far darker and oh, Lord breath
taking. Even when we cling to you diving
in trying to the best we have with and for you. Some days we just cannot move, paralyzed and
broken even taken from this earth.
No matter what
ups come, what steal my breath away. No
matter what tries to shake me. Jesus, I believe
in you! Your Promises are true, no
matter comes next.
Be it my breath is taken away by your beauty awe I am left to admire or so much pain I can barely move. Nothing will change the fact of all have done for me and allowed me to do for myself. Without you Jesus, I am and have nothing. I have lived before you came in my life and this is so much better any of my wildest dreams could ever come be. https://youtu.be/5SLlXvYZ_g8 “Wildest Dreams” @Ryan Stevenson
Love that forever
will always be with me. Awareness that I
am never alone; even on those days I am overwhelmed with worldly loneliness. Worth more in you than any flattery, words, gifts,
or actions will ever bring. Healed only
through you, even when I do not understand why or what you want from me next.
In love and
deeply driven by all who feed this soul with your truth. Broken, imperfect strategically placed right
where you want me.
Unable to fix,
change or even make others transform to know and accept what you have given
me. But filled with beauty and promises
from the day I came out of the water washed clean from the grave I was in and
made alive in your beauty, your garden your love.
So, no matter
if anyone ever sparks growth from any of the seeds I release, or everyone is
touched. Let it be known Lord it is YOU
alone!
As this day is upon me and the world is slowly starting to spin once again to what humanity says is normal. May all I am connected seek to be in the arms of you Jesus. https://youtu.be/qmtoZP-dpaQ “In The Arms” @Terrian | Live form the Hits Deep Tour
May I never
stop having the strength through you Jesus to reload, upload, and move past all
the broken connections that bring me to my knees in this world.
Until you take
me home Lord may I always forgive.
Lord you know I
forgive much; even if I remove myself from anywhere close to what is
wrong. If they cannot change, then they
belong to wherever they think they are heading.
Family, Friends, Loved ones.
Known or unknown. However, I
truly struggle and always have with those who play and prey upon emotions and take
advantage of kindness or mislead others for their own personal gains Jesus.
You know my
heart and everything about me. To thirst and never be quenched, to love but
never be loved; for it is better to give than receive for anything and
everything of this world belongs to you.
But Lord when it comes to matters of the heart, matters of the depths
within our souls. No one has the right
to go without judgement when they purposely harm or destroy innocence and purity;
leaving others broken or deeply scared to fight the way back to the light of
what humanity is in your eyes Lord.
We all get to
choose Lord; we all bleed red and for those who selfishly choose to do just
that self-serve no matter who the stomp all over in the journey. Lord YOUR will alone be done! Please bring justice and protect your
children, the littles, the elderly, those unable to know how to think and
protect themselves. Guide those who are
of sound mind and body through your will and release all else.
No matter if we
live a day, or 200 years; Jesus may you always reign over me and all I am
connected. Healing, guiding, reflecting
all that you want us to be and not of our own selfish ambitions.
Thank you for everything
I have been able to experience in this journey.
May I find my peace and rest in all you are. Thank you.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
1 Peter 5:6-7 (NIV) 6 Humble yourselves, therefore,
under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him
because he cares for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV) 18 give thanks in all
circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Proverbs 31:30 (MSG) Hymn to a Good Wife
10-31 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more
than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to
call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!
Just one of those days (walking with Kelly) Should have
known.5/13/2020 https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/pcb.2958944474198029/2958934497532360/?type=3&__tn__=HH-R&eid=ARCCXoPneSCqAPaWPP7vRczWlqlxIS6mTzHIFQXZDTz8rIxWpJ46T7ZLlggPZzccEQvzvRZ6qcrYTBw2
==========================
Date: 05/12/2020 Tuesday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/E4tnNLk99mo “I Love The Way You Think” @Misty Edwards and Katie Reed
https://youtu.be/KUv6H4z45YA “Restoration” @David Brymer |BEST OF ONETHING
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you,
Lord, for always giving me the strength and more importantly breath in these
lungs for another new day of hope and promise filled towards any opportunities
we choose to dive in and make happen.
Thoughts of
yesterday and the complete awareness we are just mare humans, given these flesh
and bone vessels for the journey in time we are allowed in the here and now.
What is it that
we shall do with this new day given?
For me up and ready for work, to do my best managing what I am
blessed. To love on those, I am given to
love on. Including those four-legged fur
babies.
Thinking in
life how often we can get lost, frustrated and even broken because of
connection problems. In one of the devotionals this morning I am
reminded “LEARN TO RELATE” to others through My Love rather than yours.”
@Sarah Young | Jesus Calling
However, what
really happens with us when we experience those connection problems? And what is it we do when we get past the
connection issues? Reconciliation
hopefully; connecting tightly in love and working towards healing for whatever
the issue may have been.
In life
Forgiveness is an absolute; but even with the forgiveness do you let go and
truly let God forgetting what impacts the disconnect, or lack of strength
during the connection issue that took place.
It does not
matter if it is with friends, family, loved one’s. Or even that which become enemies because of
the broken link and communication, that which creates huge gaps and even broken
trust in the human connection.
I can tell you
what it is like to be a product of let downs, lies, and layers of hurt and from
those you put everything in and they turn out to not be what you thought,
prayed for or made up in your minds.
Humanity has so
many circuits firing we all are crossing wires, crossing words, even at time
crossing our own beings and getting life twisted into the wrong places, things
and at times so far gone we are consumed by the darkness. Hurting ourselves, hurting others.
Making messes
we never intended to do so while trying to feed the demons and fixes needed to
be removed that would bring us back the love and peace we once had.
Sometimes we
put so much limitation and expectations on how we think things should be. We forget who truly is in control. As unfair as that is; especially when we see
bad things happen to good and innocent people or good things happening for
those that really immorally bad.
Truly there is
nothing worse to see someone that is out there hustling, using and abusing so
corrupt your afraid if you get to close you will become what they are, or even
worse yet consumed by the darkness they leak out. Nothing worse than seeing a child molester,
pedophile released free and clear while a baby has been scarred for life if
they make it; if not dying at the hands of garbage.
Kind of like at
the other end of that extreme spectrum when you do all the work and effort and
someone else is recognized for it. Or
what about your husband, wife or significant other. The one you give everything to and for. And when you find out as soon as you walk
out of the room, they are setting up time with someone else they are stringing
along. Or what about when you find out,
they have been doing the dirty deeds of making you think you still matter all
the while you are gone, they have someone else in your house, your bed. Or even worse; you wake up to find them in
the spare bedroom where they came home drunk and had someone come with them.
The things that
start layering up right; the studying so hard and cannot figure out why we
cannot pass that exam. Accepting awards
for outstanding performer as you are being handed the pink slip to
unemployment.
A pandemic that
has taken out your loved one, who never went anywhere and did everything to
stay safe.
Or even the one
laying in the hospital alone for so many days not knowing if you would live or
die and no one to help talk you through it.
All those layers trigger ready to break you down as the walls go up.
What about when
you raise up your children, giving equality and direction. Then you get the call and see how lost they
are to the world, or to life itself.
All those
things; broken plans, broken promises, broken bones, broken commitments all
leave us in that spin.
You will never allow anything or anyone to
hurt you ever again; yet, you never yet gave it all over to God the one who has
the master control.
You just want
to be loved, you just want to be healed, you just want to be loved from the
outside in during the time you have left in this earth.
Yet, you just
will not believe there is something more and that the God that is written
about, spoke about that holds the Universe in orbit. Would be real; or worse yet. Is real but would never consider you worthy
to engage, buffer, love, heal, support, and help grow.
Sometimes we do
not even know the walls we have built up; until we step out just once in faith
and find ourselves broken again when we do not understand why we are doing
anything in the first place.
Even at times
when we know who Jesus Christ is, Son of the Living God. Sent down as man, lived, suffered, died and
came back to life in love, for love, with love all for humanity that stays in
that constant spin.
Yes, there are
still good men and women out here in this vast world. Yes, the good old days where people stayed
together, and worked together through all the ups and downs; that better or
worse. Without stepping out to someone
else thinking they can give you what you need or want. Even though you promised
yourself to someone else forever.
Knowing that God
can heal all the broken pieces, broken connections, broken hearts, and broken
health. However, rarely honestly
believing it enough to live freely as our creator ever intended.
Lord all of what
seems overwhelming, draining our very being and changing who we thought we
could be or what we could do. What we
want to mean to others or even at the end of the line what we mean to ourselves
any longer.
Hear our hearts
Jesus; hear our prayers. May every soul
in need; seek and find you Jesus. May
your will of all that is good, all that is moral, all that is pure all that is
meaningful purpose and run through our veins.
May your hedge
of protection be wrapped around us and our loved one’s and may your will be what
we seek first every given day.
Though none of
us are perfect Lord. You are, and forever will be. You God will never forsake your son Jesus
and you will never forsake your children.
No matter how dark this world and people get.
Lead us in your
light and will. Help us to reconnect all the brokenness moving forward until
you are done. Give us strength, courage,
and purpose even when we do not understand.
Please accept
my gratitude and thanks for all you have allowed this soul. May all I am, all I do reflect your love, mercy,
and grace.
Hear my heart,
hear my tears when they fall, hear my prayers.
In your mighty precious blood, and name.
Jesus, your will be done for me and all I am connected.
Restore me,
restore this land washing it clean. Restore
your perfect will for all to grow in and with.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
2 Thessalonians 3:3 (NIV) 3 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and
protect you from the evil one.
Matthew 11:28-29 (NIV) 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will
give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from
me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
==========================
Date: 05/11/2020 Monday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/BtDgPPvUjmI “On Your Own” @TobyMac
https://youtu.be/0RwDpnKIvUI “All In” @Matthew West
https://youtu.be/MGukMchIcDE “It’s You” @TobyMac
https://youtu.be/Z8fWD_JpIFg “Love Moved First” @Casting Crowns
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you,
Lord, for another new day; thank you for the reminders of just how beautiful
getting out and seeing your early morning dawn rise truly is and how much I miss
it.
Getting up and
out just to do anything is so meaningless.
But as I walked out this morning and looked up as the light was just starting
to crest. I am reminded of the beauty
that awaits in your promises Father.
Life ever
lasting when we are all in. The day we
realize It is you and no one else will ever do Lord. Perhaps that is why we love so hard and it
hurts so bad when we realize all your children are just human. Trying to love when you alone loved
first. All in is an understatement as
I watched them taking blood today wondering why we get to choose, and you did
not.
I mean why
would you choose to pour out your blood for a humanity that is lost and full of
so much selfishness, hate and in some cases pure evil. So many days we your children look past
your beauty that you see that you offer.
It is almost like we get stuck in the cocoon Jesus and cannot find our
way out even with your arms wide open in front of us.
Lord thank you
for never giving up on me. When I allow
this world and mind maze to entangle and spin forgetting just how beautiful you
are in everything. May I never stop
looking up seeking your face, your will, and your guidance. May all I do; all I serve have meaning and
purpose of all you direct not that of my own free will that is often times misguided, misunderstood or
just frozen for what I do not understand.
May all I am
connected forever be loved hard by you alone and humanity as you call it
thereafter?
Lord may the
only regrets anyone has in this life is not seeking you in all they do; no
matter what turns out.
Everything in
this world comes and goes; we are temporary. From dust you created us and dust
we will return.
May the love we
look at others be without malice or expectation. May I forgive and be forgiven? Not turning away, not condemning or
condoning but helping those help themselves from a distance. No longer enable or feel bad because I
cannot do what they will not do for themselves.
May I always
step up and do what I must to help protect the littles, or those who cannot themselves,
but may I allow you to do what you do and stop interfering setting myself up
for hurt and heartache because I read too much between the lines.
May my heart
never stop loving those that fill me up with all that you are Jesus!
Guard our
hearts, our voices, and our actions. May all that I am all that I do all that I
love do so in and with you.
May the dream I
love and the sweetness in the depths of my soul forever be blessed by you alone
Jesus. May one day I truly feel your
arms wrap around me in harmony for all that is good, all that is beautiful all
that shines your light and never-ending hope for all that is the greater good
of why you Lord sacrifice so much for all here and now.
Thank you for your
son Father God. Thank you for this life
and all the miles, smiles journeys bound.
Heart breaking tears or frowns.
Thank you for it all. Show me
what next! No matter how often I forget
what day it is in my writing. Or misspelled
words, incomplete sentences, improper grammar.
Or held back stories that cry out but cannot be released. Jesus, you are my everything and I pray
peace over all who are connected to me, through me and with me. Thank you
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each
other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Philippians 4:6 (NIV) 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
John 14:27 (NIV) 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give
to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be
afraid.
1 Peter 4:10 (NIV) 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to
serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!
Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do
good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
-------------------------Afternoon
Passing Thoughts-------------------------
What are we but mare men and women? No title, no role, will ever hold more
meaning that of Jesus Christ; King of the Jews, King of Kings, Lord and Savior,
Sacrificial Lamb that died for humanity so we could live in peace and harmony.It does not appear that for more than 2000 years we have been doing so go. For we allow the titles and the temporary rule our worlds. Becoming arrogant and selfish. Looking down, looking past. Living with excuses why our lack of belief in our selves with deep respect and moral value is overlooked and we allow the demons to feed us as we go through withdrawals like a junkie and all they do is hustle and shook.
You are just a dude; a mare being made of flesh and bones. Granted asylum and gifted to show people to God’s throne. Just a Lady or you are supposed to be. Yet so caught up in what others think that you do not see. So much wasted tears, wasted time. Why do neither of you really believe.
POTUS, Prince, King of Pop, Legend of Rock; Legend of Christian Hip Hop, Pope, International Super Star. None of it matters even if your high up; you will never truly touch the stars.
What you do with that power is what ultimately counts. So why is it always too late for humanity to find out.
Cover-girls, Cover-Ups misfortune or fame. In the end you will all if your lucky to have breath to call out that one name. If not, I truly feel bad for the loss that is tragically ashamed.
Did we get it yet; or as soon as we walked out that door did, we forget?
Dirty little secrets, corruption, dirty little lies. Everyone just looks out for themselves playing the games until they are inside. North, South, East or West where this all comes from, who knows just life over time.
Only thing for sure is the blessing I received today for a simple gift, act of kindness that made me break down and cry.
I give all the time but never slow down to look; smiling from my heart as I watch the seeds planting in the light and dark. This one outreach I bowed down for and prayed. Today I learned the God of mercy and love is sending kindness for my blood in a special way.
So twisted the world of love stories, horror flicks and comedies all day long. Jesus will always be the one and only that has my praise and conformity for He alone is Lord.
This does not make me special in any way I can assure. So, stop trying to hack me, Russia, Nairobi, liars, liars. All over this world.
I have nothing for you as I get up and work those 12 hours daily just to live and handle necessities I must support.
The real you; unfortunately, you will never be. You are too caught up and out there, careless, and mean. Heartless, bi-polar trying every angle every scheme. Find someone who has it for you and that is not me.
The games people play just dudes, Chica’s playing around with those you do not belong. Soon your game will be over, and I hope you can run.
For Jesus is my King and he has those who believe and are devout. For these passing thoughts I must go. Thank you, Jesus, for just letting these words flow.
===========================
Date: 05/10/2020 Sunday
(HAPPY MOTHERS DAY) To all who stepped up and are working the role, playing the role of a mom to the children of our future. Be it if you signed up for it or not. It does not matter if you are the biological mom or what one of the sisters, grandmothers, aunts, foster moms, friends or especially my dudes that step in and are raising the children being mom and dad.
Thank you for all the hard work and dedication you put forth in giving stability, hope and a future for all the littles of this world. Remember we all get to choose; one of Gods blessings is that of freedom of choice.
So even if today I especially hard for you and things through all the hard work and sacrifice you made to see the best happen for one you raised. Know that God only allows us to be the vessels and help guide the littles after which he always takes us back.
Just because those we raise up, blood or not, may not always walk the right path but sometimes get caught up in the wrong place at the wrong time and even hat the hands of others or by things they should have never been playing with.
Remember the good times and that you have been blessed with opportunities that many may not.
Hold on to the love, the laughter and all the light and let God have back any pain or misfortune. Remember and smile and enjoy this day by just breathing deep.
You are needed and you are blessed for all you have done and all you will do in the future.
Many children are still in need of even that one glimmer of hope. Be that continued hope with kindness, in words, a smile an action or even taking on and being there for someone who needs a family, protection and a whole lot more of love.
I know many will have been raised up without parents or one or the other. Know you are loved beyond anything this world has or has not done to or for you.
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/R_1Va59q7XE “The Blessing| Around The Globe” @Betterland Worship
https://youtu.be/clcNB_EUao8 “Slow Down” @Nichole Nordeman
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you,
Jesus, for this new day you allowed me up.
For the ability to still dial a phone and let my mother know I was
thinking of her and she answer on the other end. Though our journey has never been all
cupcakes and roses. You allowed this
soul to give birth and allow me my own journey in this world.
For this I am
grateful and wish much love, peace, and grace to and for all the Moms that learned
along the way and live with those things that they could not change. With even grater respect for single Dads that
step up and do their best to give their child a chance at life by loving and
supporting them until they are old enough to get up and out on their own.
When the world
breaks us as adults, we forget we have strength to be used to raise up the
littles we are given. I get it, as I
came from a broken single, no parent home and I am beyond thankful for big sisters
and all those that I met along the way that planted seeds and helped through hard
life lessons at the hands of those that did not care; to those that they themselves
showed love and encouragement teaching me how to care.
Thankful to God
above long before I met His son, who allowed me the opportunity to have a life
by having my own children and making a life.
Far from perfect but I did it and am still
blessed regardless of what I missed or messed up.
Thank you, Jesus!
Lord without
Mothers I do not believe any of us would have ever been here. For this I am thankful for all who have given
birth and pray a mighty protection for all the littles that come into this
world as we know it.
Please be with them, be with all I am
connected healing all that is broken and painful.
Father God, the
pain of your own mother Mary watching you crucified for a world that will not
always accept you and who you were and are.
To all those parents, those mothers that lost a child in the here and
now for whatever the reasons.
Protect the
children from those who are struggling and broken taking all their anger and
misfortunes out on the children they gave life. All those who grew up without a
mother or father trapped in a dark world that had children and now are allowing
the cruelty that happened to them to ripple through. Protect and heal them but protect and allow
those children to grow for you Jesus.
May we no
longer resist or run from difficulties of this world but always lean in and
turn our eyes directly to you Jesus.
Be it as a mother, father or someone stepping up or just trying to find
our way. Trusting in you alone first
and filtering any understanding into our own actions.
There is none
that are perfect; but through you Jesus and your perfect love we will see and
grow to be the light even in the tiniest glimmer of hope.
For all the
mothers who are losing the battle today due to illness during this pandemic
where they cannot be surrounded by their loved ones. Jesus fill them with your love and allow
them to not feel alone as you take them home.
Wash over us
and through us Father God. Respectfully
in harmony figuring out the new normal’s and growing faster and deeper in life
with you God.
Lifting my own
daughter and mother up to you Father God.
You know all things. Heal, and lead her through your will and not that
of her own stubborn responses.
Hold us tightly
Jesus. Healing us from all the things we
do not talk about to all the things we cannot shake off. Show us how to grow forward in you in the
times we are broken as a parent as a person.
So, us how to find
your love during the times we must just be still and wait. Thank you for all I have been allowed to be
as a person, a mother, grandmother, friend, and just someone blessed to step up
and step in where you call me. Thank
you for this new day. May we all rest in
and through you Jesus. May you reveal
in each and everyone of us truth, love and the harmony that is awaiting to break
free.
May every generation know without the mother who birthed you we would have never been. For this thank you God!
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
John 15 :5 (NIV) 5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
2 Corinthians 1:8-9 (NIV) 8 We do not want you to be uninformed,
brothers and sisters,[a]
about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great
pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed,
we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might
not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
Ephesians 1:5-6(NIV) 5 he[a]
predestined us for adoption to sonship[b]
through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to
the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he
loves.
Ephesians 5:20 (NIV) 20 always giving thanks to God the Father
for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
