07.Wk3_2020_July(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)

Date: 07/18/2020 Saturday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/jPM_0K-Kdfo     “What Happens Tomorrow” @Melissa Etheridge

https://youtu.be/R2N_h_2rk10   “Believer” @Imagine Dragons

https://youtu.be/f1QODR9wUno “Photograph” @Ed Sheeran

https://youtu.be/jdDa1wv22o0  “Something Just Like This” @The Chainsmokes, Coldplay

https://youtu.be/RXDsFtODgqM  “Dream Again” @Matthew West

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Psalm 119:7 (NIV)   ⁷ I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws.

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Jesus, for the storms and rains in life.   

 Where you never know when that lightning strikes if beautiful crystals will be formed or death becomes us.  

Thank you for this new day allowed for new projects, plans, pains, sunrises, sunsets. 

All opportunities.  

Just as I dive and refocus on what is it that needs to come to life in my steps allowed.

As I find myself reading through that 216-page manuscript which was written 20 years ago, we are all still fighting with our struggles.   

More unseen trauma in the year 2020 than ever before; maybe, guess if I were a true historian, I would be spot on.

 Just knowing in the time, I have been given in this world with this vessel I travel not every cup of coffee is a good one.  

There will always be that bitter-sweet.    That big ole sticky bun I refer to life as when things from the outside in or inside out; meet such sweetness but are consumed by the messes and sometimes we make it through turning off that switch and just doing what needs to be done.

  Others stuck in over drive never looking back; or even those that just learn to play the game better than most and whenever that point was they decided it would not be them; became the that which they never should have been; the takers, collectors.    

All of us struggling with our own sanity as life passes by each day.  

 Be we acknowledge it or not.   

  Our choices reveal who we are, who we are trying to be, or what we never want to feel.

At some point in our days alive maybe on our way out.   

We will all struggle with our sanity.   Cause this world has become so fake and make believe.     So many great actors and actresses even when not on the big screen.

To just dream again I have never known love like this no matter what spins for us God is and always will be the TRUTH and THE WAY.   

https://youtu.be/gLH2mNb2K6A    “Love Like This / No One Like You /Break Every Chain” @The Belonging

STRUGGLES WITH SANITY (AlwaysMeKelly-BlondeByChoice)   Society is as cruel as it is unique.

From all lifestyles, you learn to live, love, hate, fear with hopefully laughing in between all the crying that takes place.   

We never really know until later in life, just how cruel we are to our own beings.  That is until you go through a tragedy or two, and actual take the leap of faith, holding onto Gods hand for the remainder of time.

 Is only then that you really see some of the happiest times, the most hideous crimes, and anything in-between, and still hold on that Gods will has purpose to all that has taken place in this lifetime.

   Yet our human side still has the continual battles of illness, loneliness, sadness; but the hardest of how to hold on to what we all are chasing called happiness.   

 In between all those, never ending questions of, why throughout our lives.

I would like to think my story is unique in its own right, but so much of the very same that you will learn about has happened to so many.  So many generations before, or even those that will come after.   

Today, tomorrow the battle and evil is more real than anyone wants to admit and deal with.    My story may be something you have never heard or dealt with; but most likely, it is not even, close to what so many unfortunate souls did not have it so easy.

  My story started out as a child not knowing any different or even caring about really anything in life.   As a kid all that really mattered was the ability of going to play with your pet turtles in the back yard of your grandmother’s place or waiting for her rice pudding come off the stove. 

    I still hear her yelling at me to sit still and stop fidgeting. 

  How awesome and simple those times were finding the excitement in just being a kid back then.  The simple treasures of carefree a kid or at least it was for me for a few     moments in time. 

 From ice sliding up down the hills of Pine Street with your friends or hanging with the kids across the street because they had the coolest batman car.  Even just watching all the coming and going in my grandmother’s place.   Simple things, when you do not have any care’s, or to even know the labels the world will put on you in time for what do or  do not have in this world.     

How quickly as time grows as do the expectations.   The judgement humanity throws at us, from material things, to who your family is or is not.   The struggles for a life will always be the sanity we try to hold and win or lose all we got~

Finding who I am in Christ was the peace that will never come from anything in this world we are given. 

  Temporary happiness and fulfillment absolutely but eventually enough becomes not enough; truth becomes what one believes and accepts, all while our God who in one breath allowed us to be; has clearly said I am enough I have loved you for a thousand years and will a thousand more.  https://youtu.be/NfTS7gM7zQ0 “A Thousand Years” @Christina Perri

Lord be with all the broken happy every Afters!  All the plans that end in disaster and heal and lead us not in a shell not shut down not lacking trust.

  But just knowing through you no matter what, when, who or how.   You will always have those who call upon your name.

Mend our souls Father God, Even when those who filled with hate and contempt just keep coming in this world trying to derail and destroy your beauty that was meant to be.

Guide and protect your children to the end onto the gates of eternity; no matter what that looks like.

Thank you for always loving me enough to give me each new day to try to better what I was yesterday and seek you shining even a glimmer; you forever will be what illuminates my dreams and hope where ever the storms.

“This is not some sort of escape from reality; It is tuning into Ultimate Reality.  I am far more Real than the world you can see, hear, and touch.  Faith is confirmation of things we do not see and conviction of their reality, perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses.” @Sarah Young (Jesus Calling-Enjoying Peace in HIS Presence)

 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Acts 17:27 (NIV) ²⁷ God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.

Hebrews 11:1 (AMP) 11 Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, ^[a]the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].

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Date: 07/17/2020 Friday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/a4l-GGl1Wo0   “Life Matters” @Wyclef Jean

https://youtu.be/b0mBbHimJXk  “Superman” @Keith Urban

https://youtu.be/CS9vUZnAtcE “The One That Really Matters” @Michael W. Smith ft. Kari Jobe

 

https://youtu.be/hLCYTUaoqDM   “Famous For (I Believe) + Do It Again” @Tauren Wells  ft. Jenn Johnson 

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Romans 1:16 (NIV)  
¹⁶ For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Here we are, thank you Jesus for allowing me up and into another new Friday already.   Seem for being in place so long everything just keeps moving so fast we do not even know it has left us until its gone!

As I sip my morning first cup and try eating some raisin bran because special K with almonds is gone.   Trying to shake the sleep off.   Got a couple of deep moments in between the up and down.

Up and moving already feeding the beasts and getting those puppy hugs.  

Yes, that is right, every morning the youngest always comes running back in standing up wanting a human hug.

Crazy how we take for granted that all living creatures are made for more than we ever give them credit for. 

Dogs are probably more loyal than any human when it comes; and cats well they can be cute, cuddly on their terms and they just keep you company when there is nothing else and you need something to come home to.   

 I am an animal person; I could never work at a shelter full time just because it reminds me how often we take life for granted and once we tire of something just toss it out not even caring if someone else will come along and give its remaining days something better.

I did a day at the Tampa SPCA in 2018 and it just blew me away how many people were lined up dropping off.

A pair of little long hair chihuahua’s their owner said they the dogs got too old and the owners just did not have the time to care for them any longer.  

As those babies frightened out of their minds their little eyes popping out of their heads as they were put into the cages to be vetted then hopefully adopted.

These thoughts lead me to think about the children of this world; those that are supposed to be the future for all mankind.

How quickly we consume what we want and just toss it out when we are finished.

I am not sure how anyone can expect or believe anything good will transpire if we do not invest better time and reasons why we do the things we do;  invest in only the things that truly matter and are everlasting in our souls even if not in the here and now.

When it comes to the children of this world; we need to teach them up not use them up; give quality time not gifts.   

Encourage them to be creative and teach them about choices and how it works.  Even I with layers some days more than others raise my voice too much or even get so angry at something that should not have happened from others; that I feel it and let it flow out of something I say or do.

Yes, for every action there is a reaction and what we do with that end result from that reaction becomes that tsunami wave you just created washing through excitement, radical misfortune of a waterfall slamming down, or that peaceful running spring.

 

It all matters!  All we say, all we do, all we believe!

Life of all kinds, sizes, shapes, colors.  All Matter!

Choices that make that life truly matter!

What we believe, what we do, what we say.

Where is the truth in this world, when so many do not really believe there is the spiritual warfare underway?

Do not believe that there is hell on earth as there is the eternal hell or the heavens above  in which the creator our God allows us to choose.   Yes, that God, the Alpha and Omega, controller of light and darkness that which with one breath created us and all that walks the land. 

The darkness that is upon us in this world is nothing compared to what is to come.    No, I am not going to the doom and gloom or the Mad Max of Thunderdome.

 Not even going to think about those everyday superhero’s that put their lives on hold just to give a chance of life daily.

Perhaps by running into a building on fire, my step pops was a fireman paramedic for more than 30 years.   Never seen a more giving soul never thinking about himself.

Not talking about the military that fight for the rights in and for the US putting all they are on the line; for a country that is so selfish it cannot see past it self that it would rather kill and take from its own than to stand tall through all the mistakes and make a difference.

Not talking about the thin blue line of all our law enforcement.  

 Yes, there is something to be said watching the mayhem on TV where those protesting the wrongdoing of evil now become the evil themselves and more innocence is taken than ever before.

Wrong is wrong and together it does not make anything right.   

There is good and bad in every cycle and spin of life this world has going on.  

We get to choose. We get too choose who we will shine for.

We get to choose, who we will respond to and if we will be a superhero or be someone’s Superman or Wonder woman.

Thinking out load too often to long too anything. 

Yes, I do; on somedays I spin others that electrical current of this so twisted mind maze flows with things I absolutely I would have never planned or scripted.

Guess God just has me remembering today how blessed we truly are and can be.  

Paying it forward in this life is simple.  

There can be big gifts that we manage to get our name on a list of contributors all the while we use them for tax deductions because we know it is far better to help those in need and write it off than to let the IRS or governments take everything we have.  

How often do we really just step out or step up though?

Me not enough, but too much or too often in this life for those who rarely appreciate.  

Or even for those at times that really needed what they play you out for.

It is all good in the end.   Really it is.   Lessons learned and given one more day is more meaningful with Jesus than anything this world will give or take.

Paying it forward is so much easier and more beautiful when you are just keeping it real. 

So easy!

Just saying Hi to that soul that looks so alone and alienated maybe even mad all the time.  

 Perhaps they have no connections, no family; perhaps their journey has taken them through every road of hell on earth than we can ever imagine.

What about five minutes or a lifetime of giving a child the gift of mattering to be something. 

 Allowing their imagination to be that next big artist of colors or even musician, singer, songwriter.

What about just letting your elderly or disabled neighbor you will clean the snow away in case they need to get out.

What about that fella that looks so skinny and alone but lives in that big house?  You get to know them because they are on your block and you learn they are sick and all they have is the house their sun in another country trying to bring their wife back home is stuck in.

    

 Bring them a microwave or just meals that can be cooked within it.  Give them five minutes here and there.

What about that old Vet that use to come into the pub where you hired yourself one night because you got tired of just being on the other side but could not go home to nothing.

Hearing and learning all about them and they became like the father you never had, and you could never get enough of their stories and how they through all odds just battled and forged forward.

How about that person at the streetlight just giving them the change in the cup?

How about those thinking of you, Cards, or even a little trinket, a little gift.   

We do not have to be related to treat someone like our own blood with love and kindness.

Paying the toll for the person behind you is not so easy any longer but paying for the car behind you at the drive through.

Yes, I generally I do not speak or write of what I have not done or had done for me.

  Paying it forward and outreach starts right in your own home. 

 Some may say just being present and loving the family you have is not outreach;  however, we all get there in life at our own time.  

  As a parent and growing up in a single parent no parent home.   Well life lessons are different for each and every soul. 

So, paying it forward can just be a matter of kindness.   A kind word, a hug even in a scary pandemic riddled world.

That world where there is more than a virus out there slowly sneaking up and destroying humanity.

We all need someone to just reflect light sometimes;  even if, even when no words need to be said. 

Just always try to reflect and not take away.

What about finding ourselves and paying it forward for who we are created to be?

As I give this speech to myself, pray more worry less the little trinket I received as a gift reads in front of me.     

Stop doubting who you are when it comes to dreams and situations or even equality.

There is no one beneath you in this world and there is no one above you.  When it comes to humanity, we are all blessed with gifts and talents beauty and unique design.

If we were all that anorexic super model how the companies would ever have created businesses to fatten us up or get us healthy with all our products and promises.

Same on the flip side; some of us are pretty hot in our youth and get fluffy as we age, while others are fluffy all the way through.   

Point is we are all beautifully designed even if that one soul you wish noticed you for you and not what you have or do not have.     We all matter with and to God.

We never should be trapped in a hateful toxic relationship or situation.   No that does not mean life is a bed of roses and it will be easy and everyone sings around the campfire.

It just means dig in and know your worth; and share the blessings of life even if you feel shorted or have none.

It does not matter if you were born into money and became the best actor or actress ever to where no one would ever really know who you are or what you really hide in the truth of your soul.

Or born in the ghettos of life and you become that billionaire and well known for your philanthropy.

Be ready to do something you would want done for you.

I have always been continually active and never worried about getting my hands dirty; in fact, I have trashed and almost broke my fingers just doing things that I should have hired others to do.

However, I remember once going down to hang dry wall with my ex fiancée in a warehouse.  One of the owners was tied to a well-known boat and  Yacht company in Palm Harbor Fl. 

They were expanding a portion of their business and need to modernize their building.

In conversation as I do; no one is a stranger and with all due respect of roles and personalities I consider when to speak up and when to stay distance.  Even at times when I should speak up but do not.

However, at this job site the fella who hired for this weekend job was asking me why I was doing what I was doing;  and as we chatted, I wanted to know how he got started.

I have been gifted to feel people and just talk as no one is a stranger. 

Even more so that day I was gifted enough that this wonderful soul held a conversation with me and went through all my simple questions.  

His money was old money; everything inherited from generations before. 

Asking what his family was like, and of course how many siblings etc.

He had one other brother also. 

Gosh this conversation took place back in 2009 but feels like yesterday.

It sticks because I asked in my inquiring mind.   Knowing that this guy clearly had a vision, a plan and from early on made it work.   

 He was also the creator or co-creator of those great turkey drumsticks we order when we go to Disney world.

However, he did not talk down, or shy away when I asked what the rest of his family does.

   He just said not everyone that is born with the silver platter uses it to do good. 

  His sibling struggles with addictions and the inability to get past the world and be his best self. 

 Therefore, he lived someone in the area and received an allowance of the money he inherited but lived in and out of hotels and refused to try to change.

At that time, I never really put much thought into life and how twisted we make it.    

Or how our choices matter.

 I know they do but really it does not ever matter where you come from or what you do or do not have starting out. 

 The storms of life will come and wash everything away or the silver spoon and platter you are born into will rob your life forever.    We all get to choose!

We all are always so eager to just assume.   It does not matter where you come from; but where is it that you want to go or even if you do not think about that; where is it you end up? 

Or who is it, what kind of souls do you want to be surrounded by or known by in the end?

We all judge books by their cover. 

Some make quick and short reads shutting everything down tossing that almost up on the shelves.  

Having it all but not really living life with those who love and care for you alone.  Only leave you to slowly burn in that luxury furnace.  

Having that shanty shack and dirt floors and barely any food teaches you how to survive through all humility and misgivings.

Seeing people and their big fancy anything; well maybe they are collectors and maybe they are just utilizing the abilities and gifts God blessed them with to shine for others.

Maybe they are not.

In the end only God matters and that of a relationship between them and He! 

 Well is just that.  We all get to choose.

Prayerfully we have that great inner peace that knowing Jesus can only give.

Pay it forward to yourself if you do not know Him yet.    Meet Him right where you are and find your spirituality.

Love people for who they are and not what they do.  One kind word, or gesture matters.  Life matters.

Any future matters.

Our choices matter!   

 Be it small or big; be it you hold back, run the other way or dive right in.   whatever you do when that wave of results good bad or indifferent flood everywhere.     Always get back up and keep forging and growing forward.  With truth, respect.  

My hands and heart will always remain clean.  Even if I fail daily; with my shortcomings and desires that I sometimes feel overwhelmed and doubt.  

  I know who I am and there is a greater purpose out there no matter who in this world cares to know as well; or does not.

My prayers Lord is all who ever read anything I ever write or say.   They know their true worth in and through you!

Lifting up the broken, guiding those trying to get out of the dark and protecting all your children from this broken world and themselves.

May we all find you within.     Heal this land Jesus; heal our souls.   May we all know you are forever our only supernatural superhero.    Even if, Even When!

You have and always will be the only one that has bled out and died for me.

Thank you for this day and all that have passed and any tomorrows!

  

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Song of Solomon 2:13 (NIV)

¹³ The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.”

Luke 10:42 (NIV) ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

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Date: 07/16/2020 Thursday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/LcHwyEF1TqE  “If That Ain’t God” @Chris Young

https://youtu.be/IqsDM92oMkM    “Horizon (A New Day)” @TobyMac ft Aaron Cole

https://youtu.be/dy9nwe9_xzw “Ocean (Where Feet May Fail” @Hillsong United

https://youtu.be/FVa8n6s3QLo  “Lessons” @Sinead Harnett

https://youtu.be/ZZqV6i98SkA   “Great Are You Lord” @Casting Crowns

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Colossians 2:9-10 (NIV)  
⁹ For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, ¹⁰ and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Jesus, for another ticket on this ride up ahead this day.

I wish I could say there was some unfounded excitement I had to move me forward.  As I always try to keep smiling no matter what.

Just feeling the heaviness of these quarantine days as I am sure so many others are.  

   So much time and not running out to serve, to worship and just appreciate everyone I know.    Leaves way too much time to think out loud.

Unable to sleep jotting notes here and there on twitter or Instagram.   Just to hold me over to see what the message is I will have learned when it all hits black in white upon my getting up each new day.

Reading a post that is so true to me.  ‘If you could erase all the mistakes of your past, you would also erase all of the wisdom of your present.  Remember the lesson, not the disappointment.” @MyPositiveOutlooks.com

Reading devotionals, the Gospel of Jesus is always soothing; just not turning those gears off.     Last night thinking through all those Pre-COVID-19 days.   

Missing my go to!  Circling up with various Christ family members on any given visit.  Various church worship leads and team members.   The Creative Arts in motion and Jesus Hearts flowing with that love and just being in the moment.

No expectations, laughter and just thinking what and how we will bring a glimmer of light to those who come to see.

I guess it is no different in a sense looking at a vision board of a great performer. 

Only when singing for Jesus; we do it for free.   There is no price on what it does for and to the soul and everyone is allowed in full of peace; He truly is only our one true King. 

Laying thinking that no big surprise; just wondering about allot; wondering why?

 Thinking of me?  I am always thinking of you.    All the while my choices to keep my real in reality is the only way I know how to.

Put the music up, headphones or not on;  Just turn the music way up loud.

What has me these months listening to country; I like it I mean I just stopped listening years ago to it so much.

Twists and turns trying to keep the eyes up ahead and staying in between the lines.

Yet periodically getting sucked into what I want so bad to be truth; later to be proved out not that I was right; but they were just made up stories what some call lies.

Having withdrawals from what use to be.   

That which kept me from thinking too much; and always allowed me to stuff down my dreams.

Why what is the big deal; what is wrong with me you say?

I quit long back, and just locked things away.

Lately 2018, 2019 and even 2020.   Times have changed and although I was deep in the heart of the King.    That new Horizon would come to be.  That new day on the horizon; man leaving the energy firing and feeling more like soaring not even close to flying.

Believing what can be done in unity, what can be done when those who love and want life come together being that family.

Questions keeping me awake, what happened; where that rushed of love and peace go.      Where did the balance I was spiritually fed from all my brothers and sisters that held me far above the ocean waters.   That which sustained as I was trying to do what was right and lead my own family.  Where did it go?

Never better or worse than anyone else; yet what did I miss that I stopped thinking of who am I?     Always me as I was, Always me as I can be, Always just me.

Was it the disappointments of all the let downs, even when those who purposefully pretended thinking I did not see? 

  Yet I was looking past what they were towards their heart no one else wanted or thought could be.

Was it the disgust of the hate and anger this world is so full of all around me?

Even that what you raised up to do your best no matter what your visions are; and always respect yourself, and others will as they see.    Over the years watching precious souls, lose their battle, their self-esteem.   

Trying to life with empathy yet hating so much to feel.

This world and the thorns that cut deep are beyond more than real.     So many beautiful beings, souls misguided lost to this world.      

Never fully understanding anything anymore.    When humanity says it is okay to let what God created to change genders of boys and girls. 

     It is okay to just do what you want not caring what damage is done to where everyone becomes the joker and we in the end are the laughable clowns.

Jesus all I can tell you is I needed you before I met you; I needed you then; and I so need you now.

How can I miss what I have never had; how can I run from what has been found.  How can something so real never show up?

So many questions deep within churning leading me back to your mercy, grace, life and love.

What next is not so much as we know your plan Father God not our own is what will be.   However, what is real; how do I see?

Beyond the elements you already split that great Red Sea.     So, whatever you allow will be.  Yet here I am knowing my balance is tipping over running from what I just cannot see.

Just show up; I can only say please.   For in life there is beginning and the end. 

  In the mind if we are lucky dreams come to life even if only in the imagination.

People we care for will always be protected and shine brightly.

Protecting us from all the joy vampires trying to steal our souls, our days our nights.   Trying to steal whatever they can no matter if they realize it or not; wrong or right.

Why is it right in front of me; yet this door of common sense says do not fall for what you cannot see.    Just look at the headlines do not be crazy! 

Let will be just be.    Breathe in, while you still can.  Breathe one more day in Christ, Breathing deep that sigh of relief.   

Doing what you must it is better to have true love than tangled in thrown away lust.   It is better even if you cannot feel it, see it to know truth in the end.      

  For no one is a stranger; just few really are for us; really are friends.

So, if it is too good to be true; unless there is proof, no matter what will be, will be.

Don’t show up is terrifying, for my unseen faith belongs to Jesus with no other is there room to rob that peace.

If I can see it, I believe I can fly.   Without a doubt, believing in so many greater things than I could ever talk about.  

Just sometimes I just let all of everyone else connected, block my vision as I try to be what they need.

Sometimes that sledgehammer knocks me off my feet as I realize it really is God who sets me free, all the while everything, everyone else just do life really not caring what will be; will be.

So, as I try to find these wings praying God blesses this flight up ahead for you for me.

Praying if the journey remains lonely any given day with dreams to pretend.  Or something greater in the end.

I just know no matter what I am far from perfect as I learn to correct my own mistakes.   And if this is it!  Well I am thankful for every second, every blessing, every lesson in this place.

God no matter what is or is not in this world and time we are given; I am given.  May we never fall under the darkness, the spell of self-pity, and Waller in the I can’t of life because of self-doubts or what others try to convince us of.

May we know what we know and never get caught up in what was; may we never not think for ourselves; may we always turn to you Jesus.  Diving into your word even if we do not understand what it is, or life is.  

May the truth always prevail in whatever clarity is.      

For all those who have come and went and just call it business.  

Your word, your law, your judgment be done.   It is the here and now I forever need your guidance and protection in; every second of every minute you give me.

Thank you for everything I am allowed; may I run back to the foot of the cross and never leave if that is what it takes to be a light, even in empty room filled with darkness.

Thank you for this new day!

 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Psalms 40:2-3 (NIV)

² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
³ He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in him.

Psalms 42:5  (NIV)

⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

Psalms 147:11 (NIV)

¹¹ the Lord delights in those who fear him,
    who put their hope in his unfailing love.

=========================================

Date: 07/15/2020 Wednesday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/cBDt_-tIfLI “Broken Prayers” @Riley Clemmons

https://youtu.be/dyCv_qdFUxM   “Be One” @Natalie Grant

https://youtu.be/OnJFGtAXxGs    “Loving My Jesus” @Casting Crowns

https://youtu.be/rSSr5--O7dA     “Jesus Freak” @TobyMac

 

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

James 1:21 (NKJV)  

Doers—Not Hearers Only

²¹ Therefore lay aside all filthiness and ^[a]overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Lord, for this new day and all that is ahead.

Forgiveness of my short temper lately being snappy with my words in just being too weary in not knowing how to handle that which I should not need to listen to or deal with.

Forgiveness and guidance for those that need to step up, step off at some point.  

Or learn to hold their tongue, learning to not always react to what ever is ailing them at the moment.   

Guidance for all I am connected; protection and asking your abundant mercy and grace.  Even when I nor anyone I know does not deserve it.

I am no judge; however, I do know we all need work in this planet you have given us to dwell; and I am in first in line.

Lord, that spiritual tug of war always going back and forth, and I am led to look back into the story of Jacob when he wrestled all night with what seemed to be you angel.   

So much that he could not let go and get away or overpower whatever the lesson of that time was.    In the end forever touched when he wrenched his hip but still endless hours of a battle that I do not understand the purpose. 

  Yet, aware how often I wrestle with so many things throughout the night. 

  Eventually losing sleep over what we cannot change or control; or even if we make the choice and we make the changes not letting go. 

 Eventually letting the burdens that should not be outweigh and overpower us.   The world calls it stress with it is a known fact that if we do not release the  stressors and move on; trusting in you no matte if we chose to go right or left.    You alone have it.

Yet here I know I am lifting my hands high handing all that layers up to you with one hand while holding on with the other.  Just not fully letting go.

Jesus,  please lead me!

Jesus, please place your hedge of mighty protection, mercy, and grace; all around my loved ones.

Jesus, please place your head of mighty protection, mercy, and grace; all around every child allowed air to get up, wake up this new day.

Jesus, please wash over this land, unifying together all we can be in peace in a harmony that even when we disagree;  we never hate or destroy.   Even when we do not understand, we learn to dive in and do everything we can to learn and listen before just jumping in and doing and reacting.

The layers of what we call life are heavy; some in the here and now find them much heavier than others.     

Show us how to balance.

None of us deserve anything; after all you have given God, and we spoiled children just go about our business and do whatever we want forgetting the sacrifice of your son Jesus.    Until something goes wrong, or we think we need something.

Lead us to learn, to take up arms for all that is good, all that will prosper into days beyond our times here and now for the greater good of the world we are given.

Please heal all whom call you Father and you have chosen.    Healing from losses, physical, emotional needs,  uncertainty even if we never know we trust in you and all that is unseen.

 Guide and protect all who have the gift of giving, and big hearts in the days to come Jesus.   

The world is in a place that many have never seen it.   Those who find it easier to play out, use and harm others for their own personal gains are growing by numbers.

Though nothing of this world can be taken with us.   Guide and protect us while we are here.    May your will be done!

No matter what that looks like; Lord guide my every word, step and action.    Far from being perfect or doing things right.   Fully aware I cannot take anything with me that I may gain or have in this life.     

Seeking guidance for your peace and tranquility in all my days I am left to have any new tomorrows you allow me up.

Rest this mind, rest this heart.   Use this vessel to help bring light and release whatever darkness that may come.

No matter if we are at the bottom of the 9^th, the end of the road, or just getting started.  Lord protect and guide all I am blessed to connect and have been connected with.

Wash through all the dark, confused hearts of this world.    May they look to you in everything that is.

May all of us out here with those deep desires of a forever love; that one.    Know you are here and anyone, or anything after you is always a bonus.   Yet, if it is only you; we are blessed beyond any measure of a man or woman that walks this worldly journey.

Thank you for that reminder how we all wrestle with something.   Thank you for the reminder of blind faith.

Lord please restore the faith I have in others, but if not; if there truly is a reason you are making me aware; reveal all that is necessary and remove any layers.   Guide and protect through your will alone.

All that I am, all that I will ever be is yours Jesus.   

Every measure of any man or women are all because of you Father God and the gift of life that Jesus Christ allowed.    May we learn how to be the one that reflect your abundance of mercy, grace, and that deep love.   

  

If that means all I am allowed to be, to do is loving the one who died for me.  Loving my Jesus.   Thank you, no matter, what, when, where or any unanswered why’s.  Thank you, God!

To stand on that stage in faith with those you have chosen and shout out to you will never be enough. Your name alone is victory no matter who or what anyone can do, can be or can see.  https://youtu.be/KwcrBEwc-Gw  “Resurrecting” @Elevation Worship

No passion will ever be what you Jesus have been and fill me with.   All that I am, all that I am connected belongs to you.  Wash through, bless, guide, lead, cleave, whatever you need to do.   Awaken the souls you have allowed this journey.    Show us your glory in your resurrection!

 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Genesis 32:22-29 (NIV)

Jacob Wrestles With God

Faith in Action

²² That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. ²³ After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. ²⁴ So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. ²⁶ Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

²⁷ The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

²⁸ Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,^[a] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

²⁹ Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”

But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

Hebrews 11:1-3  (NIV)

11 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. ² This is what the ancients were commended for.

³ By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

 

 -------------------------7/15 evening thoughts=================

What a mess this mind, this imagination has made through the years.   Believing in people places and things, yet only words they say or bring.    No actions ever speaking louder than words.

At least not until the truth come out life and it was never what even the silent expectations spelled out so clearly for each and every unspoken word.

When you have been there done that and so much;  you no longer even feel the pain from the ripping of your guts.

So, what is this what can it be.

Back stroke, back pedal, back anyway to another decade please.   2020 just locking in the that which went south 2018, maybe 2019.

What is it when you want it all to be so true?  Yet here you are with nothing but pieces of me all over the place as I dream of that one.  That you?

Someone to love, or just guessing that all this chaos in the world around.   Soon I know it will be time to just give up and go on; just go down.

Cannot stop it, no matter what I want,  cannot let go, cannot run; cannot even hold on.

This mind maze, brilliance in so many ways yet time is moving fast and what once was assurance is so unseen. 

  Cannot even really tell what truth or must for someone was to do what they do so they can gleam.

Need then, need now.    All that of just wanting that forever; where can it really be found.    The who, the what, the why.    No more sound, no more noise to make or cry.

Uncertainty and too much time to think just allows those lies of how it can be, filling with so much doubt.

Then the stupidity sets in; how could anything ever get back to better.    When we cannot even see what really is in front of us. 

How can we miss something we have never just breathed in; how can we love nothing but that imagination we call dreams.   How can with all the knowledge and power of the God above.    How can we still want such a physical pure truth and love?

How and what do I do when I time will not allow me to stop what I will never be allowed to start?

God’s love and sense of humor; knowing I have freedom of will and freedom of choice.  Yet cannot get out of my own way.  I was almost there, that wall was almost gone.  Oh my heart smiled.

What gifts and talents the manipulation these dreams oh how they let you play and get sucked into the beauty each and every day.   Then one moment so real, you can feel it as if osmosis had life in the air.    Then the next you just disappeared.

Just once, just one truth.   Just let me see even if I will never be ever to touch you.

Someday maybe, these dreams will come to be, for me or you.   Someday we will find in reality what was really always there; or never existent; but at what cost is really up to what we choose.

==========================================

Digging into live archives (missing my buds)

Couple favorites of GCC and New Life Christian church services and worship I was blessed to be part of.

06/24/2018 https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/1748528045239684/?t=934

09/18/2018 https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/1865427756883045/

05/11/2019 https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2213134055445745/

06/01/2019 https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2248075578618259/

6/29/2019  https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2296787723747044/

10/20/2019 https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2510497409042740/

02/23/2020 https://www.facebook.com/adrianlisnapparel/videos/3542053712503404/

==========================================

Date: 07/14/2020 Tuesday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/hrSnjNkHLvg    “Don’t Start Now” @Dua Lipa

https://youtu.be/D9UCZSFmPoU  “Dear No One” @Tori Kelly

https://youtu.be/srGIp4LO-XM   “Never Alone” @Tori Kelly

https://youtu.be/pkM-gDcmJeM    “Courageous” @Casting Crowns

https://youtu.be/3ORIEkkPTIc     “I Want To Know You/Alleluia” @Jeremey Riddle

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

John 15:10 (NIV)  

¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

What a journey this life, this mind maze each day allowed up takes me on. 

Thank You Lord for one more round again as you allow me up this day.   

 

In this imperfect soul I pray all things will work together for your plan God and not my own. 

    

They did not show up and I was long gone before I ever got started; good or bad it is what is.  Life has a funny way of breaking you while keeping it simple while trying to keep the real in reality.   I pray I never feel that alone ever again to lose my self-worth.

However even though I thrive in my independence I stray and find myself thinking of that dear no one. 

 Not really looking just knowing when the time is right, they will show up.   All the while at times believing that is now and in truth and transparency sharing moments that really do not add up or in the end matter.

I know if they are out there, I will be better than good to them, but until the time is right that they will show up.   No, I am not out here searching.

I will never be alone not since the day I came up out of that water.   Maybe that is all I get.   I have been blessed to live a very full life even before my next 35 – 60 years will transpire.

As I go through this musical journey in this mind maze stuck on the branch that I never seen coming around the bend while riding the unknown rapids of life.  

  Even during the perfect invisible storm of war between good and evil of the airways.

Where pandemics, hate, wash over the land; somewhere deep inside the vessel seeking just truth and a love thinking what it would be like to just have someone kiss me like they want to be Loved.   https://youtu.be/RkH5cJOBDk0    “Kiss Me” @Ed Sheeran

You know to be that Prince’s bride that ONE fairy-tale, never-ending story.    https://youtu.be/wp4fPfiUrhI “One” @Ed Sheeran

Lack of sleep slamming up against reality and too many romantic comedies.

Somehow if you get two twisted up you let your guard down and those with their own personal agenda to take far more words or even pieces of you than they are ever more willing to give.

No way of getting around the ways of the world as there will always be givers and takers.    

Givers will get caught up forgetting the boundaries that allow them life while takers will always take.   

It will not matter their size, color, flavor, where they live or where they want to live.   Just like leaders and followers we have a world full of givers and takers.    

Uniquely and beautifully made by God’s design perhaps to keep people working together to allow some sort of a balance that as humans we totally mess up on any given day.

Forgetting not even the air we breathe belongs to us; so, when it comes to all the temporal material things of the world also not ours.    

 Just given on loan we lose our way doing whatever we think we must to what we think really matters.   Hearing what we want to hear, seeing what we want to see.  

 Until the one-day God says look up, reminding us of His commandments and what will happen if you do not keep the real in reality.

Through all the pleasure, all the pain, all the loss or gains.   We can never forget who we belong to, and what price was paid for our allowance.    Much less what price we will pay if we do not stay out of Satan’s sandbox or even on the sidelines.

 Even on the sidelines looking from the outside in is far too close to not do things not perfectly but knowing every step, every breath, every word, every action matters.

God will never give a man another husbands wife; nor will he give a woman another woman’s husband.  EVER!     

 The cost to that relationships will add up are absolutely memorable.    But the cost of believing in the lies of what is easy, what is something that will be forever, something that cannot even show itself. 

   Will always cost far more in the end than any dream could possibly paint out during the darkest times.

We are who we are no way around it.    Only God will judge us all in the end.  In the meantime, depending what we really believe and what really drives us here and now.  Well that will reflect what we do next.

Even when it is clear as mud.    Even if we know what we are doing, sometimes people just do not and will not get you.    That is okay; we/ I hardly ever dive in fully until its too late to really get them either.

So, this tired twisted mind maze flowing like sludge today and kind of spinning right where it is.    But I know God is listening to our heart.  https://youtu.be/LxqHo2Pvfm0 “Listen To Our Hearts” @Casting Crowns

But one thing is for certain if they do not show up, we have to let it go.  Life is too short to hold on to imagination, to unhappiness or the constant spin of what if.

Right, wrong, gain or loss according to the worlds standards it does not matter.   I just want to know you Lord.  

  Holding onto the peace that you fill and the truth that really is.   I stopped chasing a long time ago Father and thanks to lessons well learned.

It is what it is until it is not.   

  Be with all who are out there spinning, be with all the givers of this world and protect them under your will.   

May we all have your vision and clarity in all that should and should not be.  Protecting them from that which comes to take, destroy, or even just use up for its own personal gains.

Reconcile this land Father God; heal all who are needing you right now.  May we stop worrying about tomorrow?  As nowhere has tomorrow ever been promised.   If it is not here and now; may we release it all back to you.

https://youtu.be/3ORIEkkPTIc     “I Want To Know You/Alleluia” @Jeremey Riddle

 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Matthew 6:34 (NIV)

³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)


⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

 Psalms 62:7-8 (NIV)

⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God^[a]; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.  ⁸ Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

 

==========================================

Date: 07/13/2020 Monday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/ce6PT-3sQGg   “Beautifully Broken” @Plumb

https://youtu.be/f8TkUMJtK5k   “No Longer Slaves” @Jonathan David and Melissa Helser

https://youtu.be/HNRJ_uaUCAk  King Of My Heart” @Amanda Lindsey Cook

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Philippians 2:9-11(NIV)  
⁹ Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, ¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,    in heaven and on earth and under the earth, ¹¹ and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Oswald Chambers: Hope – A Holy Promise says the following that spoke loudly to me this morning. “The expectation of the heart must be based on certainty:” In all the world there is none but Thee, my God, there is none but Thee.”  Until the human heart rests, there, every other relationship in life is precarious and will end in heartbreak.  There is only one Being Who can satisfy the last aching abyss of the human heart, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ.”

 Lord thank you for this day given.  

   My question I guess is why when we know we are no longer slaves and we have you in, near, above and below our living shells as we travel this journey.    Why we allow our spirit to get so twisted up in that which the world gives, yet we know will ultimately let us down.      

Letting us down not just in that which we are played out, but when we grow so attached and it is taken, or when we cannot do the things we seek to do, or know for whatever the reason will just never be enough.     Why is it even those who have you deep within their being still get twisted with other beautiful souls in this vast universe?
Just those random thoughts as I get this day started.  Moving slow today, as carrying that paint bucket around yesterday in that 95-degree heat working one or two walls at a time painting the outside.

Well just a bit stiff; but blessed to be up and going one more day.   Thank youNo matter what is, or what is not Father you carry us.   Even when nothing makes sense; or everything is crystal clear.

Soon I know I need to take a break here and regroup.   Refocus, realign just what is it?  My IT? 
I could put a million items of what it could be.  You know all things already!    Hear this heart, guide these feet, fill me with the strength on any day to do what your will says should be.

Allow me to know the difference.    Hold tight in peace, comfort, healing, and protection all who live within and along these heart strings.

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring.  I know where I have been in all my yesterdays.  I know where I have always chased to trying to get.   With all the hills and valleys.  All the cliffs and endless sleepless nights.
Tomorrow is never promised, yesterday is gone.     Prayerfully those who we connect that are a deep part of our being even for a moment in time.  Truly are blessed and we mattered to them as much as they make us think.   

Prayerfully those who are straight up just out selfishly doing what they do will soon in this damned world see your justice Father God, I do not know if we will ever see the world healed and in some sort of unity again before my time is up Lord.

I pray the greater good comes out of each and every soul and we seek in unity all the kindness and learn how to love without expectations. 

The passion we want for those we want to be with, never fades.   Where we look at each other with such gratitude and forgiveness.   Nothing will ever pull apart what you Lord want us to have throughout eternity.

Yet we all must know; it is only You Jesus that will never let us down.   So how do we live, how do we move forward?  With or without this world! Passion, compassion, suffering, truth, purity, respect, loyalty, enduring willingness no matter what fades or grows.   No matter what or who.  No matter what one can promise, no matter what takes away.

Jesus flow through each and every soul I am connected; be with all those souls that have passed on.  Be with all who call out to you.  Please send your angel armies to intervene protect the innocent, your children, your disabled, your elderly.

Be with the soul in my neighborhood who killed an intruder during last night.   Be with those who made mistakes and need you.  Be with all those who will always be on the other end of wrong choices. 

Father thank you for allowing me up one more day.   No matter what is or is not.  Thank you for all you allow me to experience, good bad or indifferent! 

Heal this land, heal each and every soul you have allowed back up one more day. May I stop getting it wrong as I chase all the things to fix me and what was or what I wish to be.  May I chase everything you are Father God!     All that I am, all that I was, all that I connect with along the way.  All of it and them are yours Jesus! 

In love, with love, Your perfect Love. You are good Father despite anything that is or ever will be in this world.   Please stir in the hearts of all your people even as they fight the battles of what they believe, what they want, what they have, what they can be.    Stir my heart Jesus.  May I remember how in love with you I have been blessed to be. 

  May the passion and desires I hold for my forever.    If it is your will come to be.  If not Lord guide and protect never letting their heart, their spirit  their soul go.
   Thank you, Jesus, for all we can be.    Come back to this land, this universe.   Keeping us!

Lord the saddest part about all reality is when the real gets to be just too much.  Please never let me go; as I am losing my own battles with holding on to what is, what is not and why in the first place.  Blessed that I have come so far and done so many things for myself and so many others.   

Yet here we are all that salt being poured in making that scar the deep bitter wound that should never be.     There is nothing wrong being out here, but there is so much to be said for being invisible.       Lord, please never let me go!!!!

  Thank you, Jesus, for all we can be.    Come back to this land, this universe.   Keeping us!  

https://youtu.be/CQa_XEKTk0w “Do It Again” @Venture 12 | Mob Worship
 

 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Ephesians 2:7-8 (NIV) ⁷ in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—Hebrews 3:1 (NIV)
Jesus Greater Than Moses
 Psalms 34:5 (NIV)
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

3 Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest.

==========================================

Date: 07/12/2020 Sunday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/Y9CjYvQDDIo  “Need You Now” @Plumb

https://youtu.be/9B-Jd_qGVBA    “Amadeo (Still My God)” @Ryan Stevenson

https://youtu.be/Ym-Pti64t8w  “Love Has A Name” @Jesus Culture Ft. Kim Walker-Smith

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Matthew 4:4 (NIV)  

⁴ Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’^[a]”

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Jesus, for this new day, promise of the new week with so many opportunities awaiting ahead.

 

You Father, Son  and Holy Spirit that gives me life are and will always be still my God!   No matter what human mix or mashed up dreams and desires overtake me in this world I am trying to find a new normal in, trying to find truth and clarity that can lead and grow forward not only for me; but all whom I am blessed to have in this journey.

It is not about what anyone can do for me.  Although sometimes I do get weary wishing those, I am surrounded would just be motivated, respecting all the blessings big or small they are allowed.   Taking care of what is even if small things.   So, they can acknowledge the bigger blessings in life.  Be it people, places, or thing.  

I know Lord I do not even come close an inch of my life getting it right when it comes to being motivated with and for you; much less manage what I have appropriately in word or deed.    Yet you love me enough to give me life each new day I am allowed up.

Lord thank you!     There will never be enough I could ever do to repay or give back for the lessons and opportunities you have given me, allowed me in this life.

 

All that was before I come to know you; all that will be until you take me home.   Thank you, Jesus,  You are and forever will always be my God.

Love all that I dream, all that I desire, all that I am, all that I can be.  All that you allow me to imagine, all that you allow me to feel!  Love has a name.  You Jesus!

Be it I am rocking out, face down worshipping, even in awe drooling over some extremely talented artist belting out or jamming out on the musical instruments that allow my soul to dance.    You Lord and Your Love has the one and only truth and definition to what Love is and ever will be.

 

It is your love and your blessing that set me free allowing me to drown in hope now and always.    Even when my tears are flowing and it seems like I am done, needing to disappear and just hide in you because nothing makes sense, nothing is real, and I am broken.    Everything is my hope in you.  https://youtu.be/FDXEvkS0iPA    “Hope Now” @Addison Road

Your Love and forgiveness Father and never what the world tends to do drown humanity in judgement, casting out even the slightest mistake to while choosing what they say is right or wrong.

Surrendering to you with all I am as I talk often of just to know what that love you have allowed me from the inside out; would be like from the outside in.   Even if only for a split second in time that which you have allowed me is now is in truth that Agape Love only you give.  

As this dreamer’s heart awakes to you Father God.

Jesus, I came in this world with nothing; Your will is what was then and always will be.   Make all I am connected the vessel of your light, your love, Make me your will!  Renew me, in and with you and all that you shine brightly up ahead.   No matter how much I feel, desire, dream worldly human things.   Make all that I am the new wine you bring to every table.   https://youtu.be/1ozGKlOzEVc    “New Wine” @Hillsong Worship

Trustingly I whisper or openly scream all I see is the blessings Only You Father God can give and take away.    I know only you can love me this way no matter what I chase or crave.  https://youtu.be/-YxBy3-HdhM    “Only You Can Love Me This Way” @Keith Urban nothing in this world can take your place.   That day you bled out on that cross to love those who will never even come to know you.   It is you Jesus that has allowed me to be.    To live, breathe; inhaling the dreams that only what you allow can give me and allow me to feel this way.  

No matter what wars and chaos surrounds me; no matter how many days I get up and fight to keep this vessel just healthy to appreciate any days given.  No matter who you allow to touch me, who you allow to get within this spirit.    Father God it is you alone that I am left to imagine where I will bow down as tears flow for all the beauty and greatness you have waiting for those who believe.    https://youtu.be/N_lrrq_opng    “I Can Only Imagine” @MercyMe

I can only imagine what it will be like when your face is before me.      Just the thoughts I have running through this maze bring tears streaming.      Breathing in, wondering how this world could get to where it is and not know who you truly are.

Abba, my father, my God who is and was and always will be the one and only who has been for me.    Through all of this, in this vast world.

Here in 2020 it is not over yet; it is just beginning.   I pray for all I love, all I dream, all I am connected.   You know this heart Jesus; you have all that I ever will be in the swipe of one hand.

For this I know, even when I get caught in the spin of humanity trying to do and be things of this world.        Thank you, Lord, for always saving me from myself.   Much less of anything or anyone in this vast land.

I cannot hide the love I have just waiting; not something I will ever try even if I can.  Be with all I am connected Father.

 

Forgive me, for give us for all that we do not realize should be undone.  Forgive me, forgive us; for all who have walked away and now are lost in the abys of darkness forever on the run.

I cannot pray for anyone I know, with expectations their salvation on behalf of my words would be sewn.    However, I know you hear every word, every prayer, every broken piece every tear.   

Hear this heart Lord; your will be done in my life, and all you allow me to connect, love, lead, bring to or run from.

Heal all that is broken, all our needs.    May we all stand tall faithfully with you not just for when we are broken and bleeding.

If not, if it cannot be.  Thank you for allowing me to be; I pray any remaining days you allow and just let love lead.

https://youtu.be/b-q_EAx8JBo “Let Love Lead” @Terrian

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Acts 4:12 (NIV)

¹² Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.”

 

John 16:24 (NIV)
²⁴ Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

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