08.Wk2_2020_August(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)

Date: 08/15/2020 Saturday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/nBKGPlFCPr0  “Just Like Heaven” @Brandon Lake| House Of Miracles

https://youtu.be/cVHrkYBEgFM  “Hills and Valleys” @Tauren Wells

https://youtu.be/XQan9L3yXjc    “Blessings” @Laura Story

 

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Romans 14:8 (NLV) ⁸ If we live, it is for the Lord. If we die, it is for the Lord. If we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

Read full chapter

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

So, for weeks I have been fighting with my allergies, yes allergies and rightfully so.  Not only do I have a houseful that I am constantly cleaning up after.  But painting without a mask or protection. 

Then I went swimming and because I have a perforated eardrum I always wear ear plugs.  But this time I messed up.

Then while painting out in that 95 Fahrenheit degree heat and wearing ear buds jamming out while painting.   You get the picture right!   Well that sinus landed in the ear with an inner ear infection.    Been awhile; I had these allergies under control.  Certain times of every year here in the hotness of southern weather living. 

Feeling off for a week or so now I called the doc to get a script called in; they called in drops, but the drops were on back order.  Apparently with this Covid19 many things we consider simple have no longer stayed such.  Not that I think drops would have worked at this point I ended up with some antibiotics and sleeping better than I have in weeks and waking with the pressure starting to dissipate I think things will slowly get back to whatever a normal is considered.

With that being said so much has happened daily but these past couple weeks just being in the funk and off I have not felt the normal presence to just keep pushing forward.

Something about all the negativity and unfortunate circumstances that swirl around myself and those I am connected.  Even evil and darkness coming so stinking close, too close to home.

Of course, that started a while ago.   Friends losing lives, losing children to this world; neighbors drug overdosing when you never knew they had an issue; neighbors being murdered by live in house mates.

So crazy but no surprise!

Watching those you love struggle and trying to make their way in the world.

Dreaming and falling in love with dreams that always seem too good to be true.

Reaching out being that extended hand and over beating heart seeing the good in what should never even be in site at all.

Oh gosh here now Cher’s Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves comes to mind. https://youtu.be/ThToz3UmIL4 @Cher Just as If I could turn back time does.    https://youtu.be/jq_BAHIAuNw  @Cher But what good would any of that get me?

Just remember back then it was someone saying that to me, the If I Could Turn Back Time.       As I was playing on just leave and know someday, You’ll Think Of me 20 years ago.    https://youtu.be/2en4ofkt1eo @Keith Urban     

It  truly was 20 years ago that I even remembered I had some Urban CDs with many others.    It was this year triggers and idle time has caused so many to drift back, moving forward even dreaming and connecting walking fine lines of the yeah  right leave on us.

Trying to remain true to ourselves me trying not to become selfish or like anyone else; becoming I guess whatever I was meant to be.

I have been alright all these years; it was not until the past three years that I started openly dreaming; getting involved where I help through churches and outreach programs so I would stop giving all I am to those who take advantage.

Then all of sudden making a critical mistake and investing in outreach programs that I found truly did not exist, which is fine I cannot take it with me.

But I think the hardest investment is those who you help anyway no matter who they are; yet they just cannot be real.   That when it is too good to be true; it is!

Everyone wants a piece of someone that has already done all the work or just wants all the rewards of those who they think have everything.

Unfortunately, those who make it to the top may have much; but they have no life of their own; everything is dictated to them as they pay others to think for them, do for them and even be for them in many cases.

We all get to choose; I am sure they are cool with who or what they have become; it is just the wanna bee’s that are out trying to ride the coattails and take whatever they can get while pretending.

Sometimes material things, sometimes people’s lives, sometimes other hearts.

Problem is the takers  of this world and not just those chasing fame.   But those takers of this world will never survive on their own because they do not know who they are really meant to be. 

Just my thoughts out loud as always with this mind maze leaking out.

Then what about those when you do all you can, and it is never enough; and you take it as far as you can but have nothing left.  Yet they try to turn it into something it is not; and instead of stepping up; stepping out and picking up where you have gotten it.  They would prefer to just blame and criticize you for not doing something all the way.

Well it’s all about choices.  That is for sure.  Not sure how life will turn out for anyone including myself; but what I do know is that I own every step of my way that I choose to do something, say something,   No matter what the end result.

If I have stepped out ever and into help.   And it just did not turn out the way I thought.  If I became broken along the way.   If I was given more bricks to build my wall higher and yes, just that.   I will never throw stones or bricks of the results of choices I allowed myself to make or accept.

Through my life, where I have been surrounded by takers and those who refuse to step up and be accountable.   Even those at times of my life I tried to fix and prove how much they are worth.

Well it just is what it is.   Until it is not!

I personally like everyone else in this world; feel the weight of everything this world has coming at us. 

I personally won’t ever stop dreaming and never stop being in love with the dream and my earthly Sweet Soul King, while my spiritual maker the Prince of Peace fills me on the darkest and most unknown times.

Be it standing on a six-foot ladder hand painting the shelter I was blessed to have by hand.    Or losing big because those you entrust are in need truly were.

I will never be enough for this world or anything for that matter without Jesus and I pray He alone meets me every moment of every day I am allowed up.

Awaking from a sleep this morning thinking I am truly going to miss you forever.   My dream is just a dream and knowing the dynamics and the control that is in battle in the here and now.

All that I am belongs to God and with that test and trials will continue to come.   Knowing I have done and given all I have; if it is not enough it never will be.    We cannot get water from a rock, blood from a turnup, or make anyone do for themselves or for that matter love themselves or anyone else.

We all get to choose.

So, if the Agape love of others to live out life with me never comes; and not just parental duties or filling outreach needs; or even that pretense of what never shows up.   So be it.    If tomorrow never comes; I am forever blessed with all that I have had up to today.

Thank you Jesus for another new day; thank you for all the hills and valleys and all the almost in this life; all the close calls you have pulled me from and all the lessons that have given me life and blessings.

No matter what; far from perfect I will always be, and yes most likely although I will remain true, I unfortunately will make mistakes.    For this I seek your will, your guidance, your protection.

Please come and show me and all I am connected how to fix what needs to be fixed; let go of what needs to be let go; protect what you have us step up for and lead always by example.    For what is right not for what is gained.

Thank you for this day.

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

John 1:14 (NLV) ¹⁴ Christ became human flesh and lived among us. We saw His shining-greatness. This greatness is given only to a much-loved Son from His Father. He was full of loving-favor and truth.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 (NLV) ¹⁶ Do you not know that you are a house of God and that the Holy Spirit lives in you? ¹⁷ If any man destroys the house of God, God will destroy him. God’s house is holy. You are the place where He lives.

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Date: 08/14/2020 Friday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/FuMfujjRZtM    “When Life Wrecks Your Plans” @Steven Furtick

https://youtu.be/MWccziybIw0     “Street Called Mercy” @Hillsong United

https://youtu.be/3AQ6VVFNjNQ   “Captain -of Dirt and Grace” @Hillsong United

https://youtu.be/WwdPFLSWiyY  “Mercy in the Dirt” @Ryan Stevenson

https://youtu.be/CPeY_RK7akk   “No Matter What” @Ryan Stevenson

https://youtu.be/tIZitK6_IMQ    “Just Be Held” @Casting Crowns

 

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Revelation 3:14,20 (NLV) Words to the Church in Laodicea

¹⁴ “Write this to the angel of the church in the city of Laodicea: ‘The One Who says, Let it be so, the One Who is faithful, the One Who tells what is true, the One Who made everything in God’s world, says this:

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Jesus, for another day even if the repetition sometimes seems senseless; even if all  I try fails even if every success is shining brightly.    May at no time I ever think it is because of what I am without you.  

For all I am, all I have, all I am connected are nothing without your blessing and will.  Temporary blowing in the wind.  Waiting for the birds of prey waiting to swoop down and carry off.

As we allow distractions in thinking we alone can control what is or what will be without deep thought or planning.   We nothing but mere mortals in so much need and guidance even when we are filled and blessed by mercy and grace and your abundant love.   That love we forget to manage as gold itself.   We give pieces of our soul away trying to make a difference while unequipped or even aware of what will be.

So thankful for your mercy in the dirt I am covered.  There will never be enough I can do or say or even describe the blessing and love you have given me Father.  

May I stop forgetting just how blessed I am in and with you; and stop letting the world and all that comes to be overwhelm me.

What is that fine line; be consumed by legalistic ways and schemes.   Consumed in self preservation staying locked away.   Loving all for who they are and not what they do; just never getting close enough to feel the pains of what flows through them or what they may take from me.

Lord the elements in this world like the brutal winter storms that blow through.   I do not want to freeze to death.

Often and no secret to have that forever love; but what is the price when we already have that eternal love.

Forgive me for looking into the darkness and believing even in the dark all that is good will come to be and shine bright.    Forgetting to daily wear the Armor of God.

Please Jesus meet me and all I am connected Here Again.     Loss, death so permanent so ever changing; that what others purposely take from us or in their own journey not even knowing.   What of what we do to them?    How do we shine onward knowing you are in control when so many are up against us?

More than those selfish ambitions; more than empty promises, impersonating that which only comes with waking and walking with you.

Lord thank you for this day and the ability to heal, the ability to know where in the end we will be if we do not cling to all that is good, all that is pure.   Knowing in forgiveness I seek; no matter what you for years have been what has sustained this life and will be throughout this vessels time.

If this is what it means to be held then so be it!    For the journey through the war zones in you will forever be worth the sacrifice and live in the world of nothingness working towards everything even if we are where we are, when we are.

Be with those Lord who do not know you but want to; be with those who walk in faith that are being beat down.   Babies being born early, loss of life, loss of all we work hard to make us, brokenness, illness, and all that keeps us in harm’s way.

No matter what Lord, thank you for this day and all that have allowed me here today. May I never forget who you are and who I am in you!

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Galatians 5:24-26 (NLV) ²⁴ Those of us who belong to Christ have nailed our sinful old selves on His cross. Our sinful desires are now dead.

²⁵ If the Holy Spirit is living in us, let us be led by Him in all things. ²⁶ Let us not become proud in ways in which we should not. We must not make hard feelings among ourselves as Christians or make anyone jealous.

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Date: 08/13/2020 Thursday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/mlz0nj1qPkk   “Miracles” @Colton Dixon

https://youtu.be/xb1bx3hYfzg    “Keep Me In The Moment” @Jeremy Camp

https://youtu.be/37wV6D49iEY “There Was Jesus” @ZachWilliams and Dolly Parton

https://youtu.be/_rR_Rdb1CTE  “Lord I Need You” @Chris Tomlin

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Ephesians 2:10 (NKJV) ¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Lord I need a miracle; this world needs a living visible miracle that only you can give.

So many put so many things in everyone else’s hands and never even acknowledge who you are Father God!    Please come wash through this land.

.Living by assumptions, being vial at times when those they just assume are like them, or will be, will do whatever they just assume without even getting to know what can really be.     

Yes, those that have stepped back and are allowing others to fulfill their own responsibilities or bring darkness and devastation on others because they cannot, will not or do not know how to take the next steps for themselves.

Miracles, how do they happen just like that.  Dreams, visions, or we just shut down.  Lord I do not have any answers.   You alone know all things.

From our day to day, our surprises in things just showing up or even any of that which we would have never expected or planned for.

Here humanity created for greater things and we got so lost chasing all that is temporal and destroying humanity itself.  We are not the workmanship you intended for sure Jesus.   I am not what you intended.

So how do we find you, and find the way, and lead the way?

I wish I knew.   Not by giving all we are away, not by material things, people places and things that all will go as quickly as they come.

How do we forge forward being a light when the earth is still shaking and the people in lives are so fluid and selfish in  many ways?

I need you Jesus to show me what matters; I have done and do all I and with what I have to work with, and it always falls short or into the very wrong hands.

Leaving me when it comes to the right needs to be fulfilled; I just do not have.

I have given all I have to so many that I have nothing left and it is just a matter of time that I too will be gone.

Please keep me in the moment with you for all that is your will Jesus!

We cannot buy love, nor can anyone ever promise you a happily ever after if we just do this one thing.

There is no happily ever after without true hard dedication and work or efforts of each individual in every situation.

If we get knocked down, we must just keep getting back up.     Fighting forward to be and do the best we can for ourselves.

No one can do it for us; we will always fall short if we think we are that saving grace.

Yes, we can shine and give strength, courage and even help others move forward.  But every soul has to walk out their journey.  No one can do it for them.    Trust me from my own experience and being left financially, emotionally, and pretty near physically empty.    

All it does is leave you alone with those narcissistic personalities trying to blame you for what they will not do for themselves or when others cannot even come close to the ever-changing demands to fulfill their requests.  All it does is feed their fire for hostile behaviors towards the one who stepped up in the first place.

At some point, those who have given themselves away in trying to be that people pleasing, helpful soul.  Well it all must just stop, and the major time out must take place.

It does not matter if you walk with God or you do not.   We all go through those moments when we open ourselves up to be helpful to others.  Sometimes we need that help even if we never ask for it.

Bottom line we all should be digging deep remaining accountable for our own journey no matter how scary, good, bad, or unknown it will be.

Yet our tendency is to always look to others for resolution instead of making our own.

Yes, speaking with experience and layers of scars from believing or trying to help those who one should have never even crossed paths with.

Especially when I hate games and am horrible life’s game of chess.  Even when there was Jesus.   All that does is open you up for more of those people who take advantage of your kindness.

Absolutely in this world especially within 2020 the vultures and thieves are flying high and taking advantage; the bullies are openly hurting and harming the innocent; those who give up are quitting and giving in to the chaos and drugs of the world only to add to the devastation and losses.

Doom and gloom.   If only I could wake up and realize 2020 is nothing but a bad dream.  If only I could rewind and go back to 2017 and know what I know now and change so many things where I stepped out and helped those who truly did not need help and now I am unable to even care for my own immediate needs if they arise.

Yes, God is with me; from the day I came up out of that water.  But like anyone else.  It does not ease the stress, pains, or wishful thinking.   Or even the tears and cares that consume one’s soul.

If only I truly wrote out every single person, place or thing; so, it may be in my BBC release when I publish.  From the one Sweet Soul King, those failing moments where without question someone asks you for help you jump in; yet it is never enough.  Or even those where dreams and death come to pass and out of all of it; the story just ties back to the that of what started from the day you were allowed to enter this world.

That roller coaster ride of life where you fall out so many times trying to get back on and go in the right direction, but life is always just what it is.

Goodness; people, places, things, IP addresses, physical addresses.  Physical, Emotional, Spiritual.

Lord I need you more than ever as all I am connected needs you now!

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

For meditation opportunities please reference Jeremiah 51:15-58 (NKJV)




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Date: 08/12/2020 Wednesday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/15CGKy3R4Es  “Dear God” @Cory Asbury

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NKJV) ¹⁹ Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? ²⁰ For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body ^[a]and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Lord, for another new day.

As I am stuck inside this head most of the time, I can wonder how or what next if I will be collateral damage or be a light to shine even a little for someone up ahead or behind.

One thing for sure is we all lead by example no matter if we try or not.   I pray my failures do not leave scars for those that I care most for.   More importantly that I myself can make some sort of a positive impact even if I do not see it in my life time. 

Never one to purposely hurt or want harm to anyone or anything.  Yet sometimes it just comes with what we say, do or for that matter do not.

The choices are forever our own and with that the results that wash over everything tied to us in the end will matter. 

Thank you for the strength and courage to keep getting back up even if there are days I do not stand as tall as I should or could.

Thank you for not tossing this foolish girl out to the wind with all the crazy dreams or desires that come to life.

I can only pray for the best of everything as I do not know what the significance of waking with late night thoughts; or what next really is or will be.

Life is certainly short, and I can joke and say life is short so always eat desert first!

But truth is life is just too short to allow what should of or would regrets to creep in.   Live life to the best of your ability and do it for you.   Do not become what the world says you have to be.

Be kind, be love and shine even if the storms in life only let your shine peak out periodically.    Just never be consumed by the hurt and anger this world tends to deal out.

That is hard and sometimes almost impossible.   To want to matter, yet not having anyone in your corner to show you do.

That is hard to want to be loved and give love.  And not having anyone or anything but what tends to use you up for their own perspectives, or even selfish desires.

If you believe in anything.    Believe in yourself and no matter it takes.   No matter how many takes from you and never give back.  No matter how many times you get knocked down.   No matter if you were their collateral damage.    If the Good Lord allowed you one more day.     Give thanks and make it count for right here right now!

Not what was, what could be; but for right now in the moment you are.

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Matthew 6:33-36 (NKJV) ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

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Date: 08/11/2020 Tuesday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/fVFYjUp66AA  “O’ Lord” @Lauren Daigle

https://youtu.be/cEFGr1S8SkA   “God Of This City @Chris Tomlin

https://youtu.be/kV5iZBTNYrk   “The Stand” @Hillson

https://youtu.be/nsbcKoRAiF4 “Hollow” @Tori Kelly

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Psalm 119:14 (NKJV) ¹⁴ I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies,
As much as in all riches.

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Jesus, for every season you have allowed this life to go through.  As you allow me up again another day to be filled with directions and opportunities we get to choose to react to, participate with, or just sit back and watch.

Thank you!  Thank you for finding me worthy to allow back up one more day.  Thank you for the warm embrace you allowed me even with tears yesterday of one season of life ending and new ventures and directions starting for those I hold close to my heart.

Thank you for the safe delivery of a brand-new baby boy even if he is only 2lbs and 9ozs.    I know you have your hand in everything Lord and I just pray that all will walk even closer to you through the next steps of life as new seasons have come.

Thank you for allowing me to just be guarding my tongue and actions as I fight to guard my heart in this crazy world.

Father, please be with every soul I am connected, physically, emotionally. Virtually.

Your will, for healing, protection, justice, guidance, love, mercy, and abundant grace.

No matter what happened or happens in this worldly life; our souls belong to you Jesus if we call upon you.     I pray no suffering or hardships, even knowing in reality things are never promised to be easy.   

I pray every soul calls you Father, leaning in on you first always.  Seeking you even when we fail.

As I fail daily; in my what I sometimes put to much hope in, belief in or even just trying to do things I should not be doing.

Yet you have never failed in making me stronger and showing me the blessings or lessons that come.

No one was ever meant to be alone in this world; yet when with anyone there will always be need to continually forge forward.   We  must no matter if we are with or without someone to love. Or even to love us.

Yes, that action verb once again.   Love in the King James version of the Bible it is mentioned 310 times; in the Old Testament it is mentioned 131 times and it is mentioned 179 times in the New Testament.     In the New American Standard Bible Version Love is mentioned 348 times and so on.

So why is it this world that has so often misspoke or misused the word truly not understanding what it means when it comes to your creation Father?

I wish I could answer that but even I fight the balance of what is really love.   My vision, my dreams having that one and only and they are having me forever for that deep intimate, relational love.     Or just loving people for who they are and not what they do.

Love is not perfect for sure; in fact, it breaks someone every single day.

From those we love that we were blessed with bone of bone, blood of blood who are lost to the world to the universe.  To those we believe in and put too much of who we are or need into someone that cannot or never had any real intentions to fulfill.

From those who think they love you because of what you do for them to those who pretend to love you for what they want you to do.

Love; You did it all Jesus!   When you went to that cross and all the steps in the journey you took to get there.  To pour out every drop of who you are to wash people like me undeserving soul seeking believers in you, washing us clean and giving us life and hope to shine so others will find you.

So, what happens on those moments when we are broken Jesus?   How do those that do not follow you, come into your presence?   We know you hear our calls when we cry out.   And prayerfully anyone that screams at you and asks what is it that you want from them.  Are truly ready to know; you want all of them to be who you created.

Through all the ups, downs,  broken and missing pieces.   Through all the naughty or nice things, we do in our lives.   We are worth more than anything we do or anything that can be given or taken away.

Including those you allow to spawn from our being.

Thank you, Jesus, for never giving up on me.    My prayer is for you to wash over this land Jesus.   Filling those who call upon you with all their needs being fulfilled, guidance in your will and strength and power that only can be yours.   Shining bright even for just a glimmer of hope in the darkest situations.   Protecting your children, be it newborns at 2 pounds or grownups who still toiling with the world.

Jesus please be with my heart strings.   Leading them in your will and preventing the world from seducing them every day they are allowed up.   Help me!

Thank you for then, for now for eternity. 

Many young adults Lord are off to college, or just out in the world starting their new season in life.   Please be with them; guiding and guard them from falling to far.  Protect them from breaking so badly they cannot put themselves together.  Teach them to lead by example.  Teach them your will and allow them to do great things in you, with you, for you.

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Colossians 3:15 (NKJV) ¹⁵ And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body: and be thankful.

Late night thoughts 

The collateral damage that we allow ourselves to become just so we can have that forever love. 

What does it really mean when we really see?  Only in our dreams. 

 How can we really feel is it really real?

All the steps,  all the climbs and all of the broken pieces along the way. 

When it’s so different and you know that it must be real.  But  you just can’t see it you  can’t touch it, pointing but you can’t put a finger on it.

 You have not lost of hope.

You have not gone crazy.  Even if you think you should.  

What do you do next?

You can’t hold on, you can’t let go, you’re at the foot of the cross looking up,  tears streaming down your face how can it be so confusing when you know who is in control. 

Is this is the beginning or the beginning of the end?

You  know where you end up  for you drank  from the cup a long  time ago. 

I think often of the ones that I  knew best, knew life and  ever mess all the way through. 

You knew their issues they knew yours.  It did not matter how dangerous It became, they would never let anything happen to you. 

Unfortunately, you cut ties and they got called home early.  Who really knows where  home ended up being for them?  Death of the body when the soul lives forever.  Choices were made.  Thank you, Jesus, they got saved. 

2020 so jacked up.  How can anybody do anything less than seek the Prince of peace far above?

Yet  am I a fool always dreaming of love.  

Where God now do, I let go?  Hold on?  Stay or run?

Thank you to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit Holy Ghost!

Be with all I love the most. 

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Date: 08/10/2020 Monday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/--bxxcS2JmE “God Is My Refuge” @Fred Hammond

https://youtu.be/HyjdUKMSM4E   “Here Again” @Rheva Henry

https://youtu.be/fkBtrPWSKM8 “Be A Light” @Thomas Rhett ft. Keith Urban, Chris Tomlin, Reba McEntire

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Psalm 46:1 (MSG) A Song of the Sons of Korah

46 ^1-3 God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.
We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom, courageous in seastorm and earthquake,
Before the rush and roar of oceans, the tremors that shift mountains.

Jacob-wrestling God fights for us, God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thankful for another day and more importantly to always know.  No matter how I try to understand, figure out, manage on my own.  Making a way or making a mess; God is my refuge then, now and all my remaining days here and now or any of those that will come in the hear after no matter good, bad or just unknown.

Never will He lose control, hurt, or purposely do to harm any of His creation.

As I wake this morning reading through my devotions being reminded “There is More, Love is Forgiveness and Refined- Finding the Joy in the Midst of the fire”

God is my every breath my every strength in this uncertain world where we want and think we need.   Only that which he Himself will fulfill.

Seeking protection and guidance for all my loved one’s and connections.    To be filled with peace during turmoil, finding comfort and healing in the brokenness and loss!

Courage to just say no, protection from the demons that try to consume each and every one of us.    Protection from ourselves when our dreams or desires take us on uncontrollable rides in life.

Failure is lack of trying.

No matter what we do if we do not find who we truly are in the creation of love and purpose shining bright.  We will never be enough.

To fail is to never try reaching for the stars and finding ourselves on different planets, moon or even back down to earth.

Never stop trying to be all we can be even when the world says we  need to be something or someone different because we do not fit their view.

All because we do not fit their frame of what they need to get from us.

There is will never be enough in or of this world.  At some point we have to come to terms with what we will accept from or to give.

Sometimes that is allot, others enough is enough.

No matter what your day or evening looks like; Know you are worth more than anything this world will give or take from you.  

For me it took me many years to not lie down and become the mat that so many do not even realize they make you, while others get off on doing so.

To do my best no matter what that looks like; no matter if the appreciation and gratitude shines from others or that of which the world says you need to be more, do more.

I am who I am and cannot be anything less.   Far from perfect but a child of the most high.    Who will continue to cling to all that God is and always will be?

If that means this is it; well I guess it is what it is until it is not.

Father God with all that is happening for each and every soul walking, crawling, riding in this earth.  Please lead us in your will.   Guide us through the unknowns and help us be our best selves to shine forward and not let the darkness no matter how big, bold or scary it was.   

May we choose to walk our best selves every day you allow us up.    Give us strength, undeserving mercy, and grace.  Teaching us what Love really is.

Thank you for loving me enough to let me up one more day.   Hear all the unspoken prayers of my heart and all that I am connected. 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Psalm 23:4-5 (NKJV) ⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;  For You are with me;  Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;  You anoint my head with oil;  My cup runs over.

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Date: 08/09/2020 Sunday

NLCC Worship on the Lawn  https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/3193325037426637/?t=17

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/LPLIyeaWxEE “Dreams” @NF

https://youtu.be/DZNTDSiqA4U  “Dream Lover” @Mariah Carey

https://youtu.be/D9UCZSFmPoU “Dear No One” @Tori Kelly

https://youtu.be/cH3-diCOUyI  “On Your Own” @TobyMac

https://youtu.be/bzqy8uNsv-w    “Trenches” @Tauren Wells

https://youtu.be/FEyRoj2sFc4   “God With Us” @Jesus Culture

https://youtu.be/NLhdzuCSmIw    “Build My Life” @Peyton Allen

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Luke 12:6-7 (NIV)  ⁶ Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. ⁷ Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows..

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Lord, for the much needed day of silence and just a day of nothingness.

So overdue for that silence that nourishes one’s soul.   

As I think about dreams and those, I have had wide awake and those that have shook me out of sound sleep where someone or something bad is about to happen.

In my normal fashion I start this journey with music and have to smile as I am listening to some that really have pieces of me tied.

From not changing who I am after finding my strength in you Jesus and making it this far.    To that dream love to call my own, absolutely knowing at not time have I been or will I be on my own as it is you Lord that carries me. 

Through all the good and all the unknown, hurts, habits and sometimes things I get hung up on.

No matter who I dream in, who I wish or want and even do to help bring something better and it does or does not work out.  It is you Father God that sustains all things in this crazy creeped out world we are spinning.

This past Friday clearly was a day that I allowed the world to spin me into such a stressed state.   When I should have turned my phone off; should have just kept heads down on what was in front of me.  When I started allowing what I do not know to control me in panic.

When I allowed others to rob me from the peace you gave.   

Knowing that I walk with you and stay in your word allot, I did not trust and just shut down.   Yes, it is hard when as soon as you open your eyes things happen, sometimes that you do not plan for.  Or deserve.

What is done is done.

Just as life it is what it is until it is not.   No matter how different or beautiful something may be.   No matter how close dreams feel like they could be reality.

Life just is~   Unfair at times and many times we put our selves right in the center where we should not be when we let our desires and dreams get the best of us; and we are awaken with the truth and making the choice what next now that we know.

Yes, that same choices and tsunami wave of results that I talk about often, because I too live them. 

Never will I say do not grasp for your dreams and keep trying.   But never sell your soul or ever keep giving away all that you can be or are when you get nothing in return.  

I am not a victim ever!   Not as a child when those who were to protect and shelter me failed, not in any mistakes made and in life we make allot.  And not in trying to be my best self and missing the mark or even when I see the good in every soul I connect but should only be at a distance and allow myself far to too close.

Especially when sometimes those dreams or desires of my own for love from the outside in just take over and I think out loud too much.

You see not everyone you confide in is really on your team, not for you but for what they can get from you.

Not everyone is bad and not even those that have you all twisted or let down are.   But they clearly are meant to stay at that distance.

Good intentions can leave us in places that will never have answered questions and even sometimes in places we cannot recover.

So yes, if it is too good to be true; most likely it is but we allow it for whatever the reasons.   But we must remember we are never on our own.    God when we call upon Jesus is and will always be for us.

The comfort and deep compassion and passion we seek is in and with God when He alone is with and for us.

What we choose to believe, live with or without, or try to make come alive with someone else.   Is a choice we have to make and own the results if and when they come.  Good, Bad, or Indifferent.

Yes, label me a crazy Jesus Freak, or simply crazy.   The world has a way of manipulating everything each soul is given anyway. 

My life is what it is until it is no longer.     I love deeply, with pure heart intentions and exceptionally clean hands always.   Broken and put back together for something more than to ever allow myself to fight with selfishness.    Or maybe that is just is it.  Maybe I have become so selfish for my own self preservations that I refuse to let go of what truly can be beautiful and not hurtful.   No matter what the cost.

When you love, you love with all you are and never turn on that soul with demands.  You never put what you do not have or what you want to have above what was supposed to be real.

No, I am far from being weak.  That is for sure; hurt easily at times yes.  As I grow older, I find myself feeling too much considering I fought my way through life.

However, I am still the person that has to ask for redemption every time I hear the horror of evil and what they do to innocence in this world.   How I would like to be the one to line them all up for justice.      Even though I know better than anyone that Justice belongs to God alone.

Here the preteen, teen that use to hitch hike with a blade in my back pocket just to be safe and get where I needed to be.    I was a foolish girl then and although still would do whatever it takes besides running away.   Still a foolish girl when it comes to thinking out loud too often and believing in those that sometimes clearly take your kindness for weakness.  Or even that of which want to make you think there will ever be something out of nothing when all they do is take from you.

Am I still sorting out my demons with the one and only Jesus who has saved me from myself long ago?  Absolutely!

Maybe some of those dreams I have had will make sense; maybe someday I will truly know what love from the outside in is really supposed to be and mean with someone forever.    Until then I will continue to do my best to build my life on the only firm foundation I know.   Putting all my trust in you Jesus!

Thank you for all I am allowed.  Thank you for this day.

Lord please be with all I am connected.  In healing, protection and comfort, in love and always in your light and will.

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Psalm 140:4 (NIV) ⁴ Keep me safe, Lord, from the hands of the wicked;
    protect me from the violent, who devise ways to trip my feet.

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