Music pulled
from https://www.youtube.com/ and
are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted
otherwise and are free for public
consumption**** (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King
James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)
Date: Saturday– October 2, 2021
Meditation Opportunities
Biblegateway.com Daily Verse
Proverbs
29:25 Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC)
25 The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever leans on, trusts
in, and puts his confidence in the Lord is safe and set
on high.
Read
full chapter
Movers Motivations
& Touches to the Soul (YouTube.Com)
Yes He Can - CAIN
Elevation Worship
- RATTLE!
The Maker by Chris
August
Hope Darst - Peace
Be Still
You Know Me Better
- Stars Go Dim
Evan Craft,
Redimi2, Danny Gokey - Be Alright
MercyMe - Even If
Micah Tyler - Even
Then
Stand In Your Love
- Bethel Music & Josh Baldwin | VICTORY
Daily Journal/Thoughts/
Prayers (Thinking out
loud)
No big secret we all should be praying harder more now than ever
before. As I walk around kind of in a
slow digestive pattern trying to understand and truthfully getting hold of my
reaction. I need it more than ever just
like every single soul in this life.
It is no big secret that we are in turbulent times. Always something! Always someone doing,
saying or being. Always something we are
trying to achieve or just do and there is always a surprise around that
corner. Always so many hurts, and
habits openly exposed and everyone even me with some hang-ups. And even some justifiable while others petty.
Did I mention that same young mom who delivered her baby by emergency C
Section and spent almost 2 months in ICU on a vent never getting to meet her
baby Jackson; MADE IT!!!
Lots to pray about for sure for every soul healed ten more are lined up
being lost.
Thank you, Jesus, for all who believe in you and pray and just keep believing in you.
As I am fighting these past couple weeks to not hold onto that negative
somewhat bitter nasty attitude that is trying to consume me.
All starting when rubbed the wrong way hearing someone tell me there is
no way you can possibly praise God while serving God and taking some of the
ways we use to serve away and turning it into something I am still learning to
work through.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I am a creature of adaptation when it comes to
change. But serving a mighty God I
fully believe there must be unity across all things. In some areas of change and I know God’s
will does prevail but there is an Us & Them mentality. Just show up do what I say and well you won’t
see bad attitudes come out. It is what it is until it is not! Times change, people change, things change; but
Jesus and father God never does!
Then so many I know or see or am just exposed to. Going through IT… It that be the illness hanging on by a
thread and we who look in not being able to see what thread they if they are
holding on to.
Then those who are tied to me that are so full of brokenness and will
not give it to God. That roller
coaster coming off the tracks and everything it its way being the bumpers to
protect and keep things moving.
I am blessed and I write about it, talk about it day after day. Yet, the
battles are real. If darkness cannot
creep into things around me, things I am responsible for and with. It attacks trying to get in through all
those I care for. No, I cannot control
it, I cannot stop it. I can get back up
and keep fighting forward like swimming upstream or climbing those mountains after
a fresh mud slide with nothing to hold on to.
Every time I finally get footing something washes out underneath my
steps. Or at least it feels that way on
many occasions.
Openly transparent. Man, times
are hard and pretty much suck for so many when we live in a world that we
cannot let our spirit just fly high and be all that God calls us to be but have
to be going through the motions of day-to-day.
Oh, I am stubborn, and many get that confused telling me how strong I am. But never did I pick how I would end up being
able to adapt and keep going.
When you have to continually
remind people close to your choices are their own and to finally say either
fight forward or quit. But I cannot not
be the triggering factor in any way for the choices each of us make.
We are worth more than any mistakes we made yesterday. Yes, there is always repercussions of our
choices and like a sudden tsunami wave they wash over and through everything in
the path. But constantly wanting to
openly quit life and pouring all darkness out for everyone else to absorb all
the while you never fully get back up grasping the hand of Jesus as it has been
out for a long time just waiting for you to grab. Instead, you decide to jump on that raft of
what everyone else says and does and wonder why that is not a river of water
but lava burning everything up in the path.
Including those your own being.
Life happens and sometimes it pounds us with stupid stuff that you just
get tired of. Anyone that thinks just
because those with more are not getting pounded are fools. Sorry if I offend anyone in this maze dumping
out today. But really just because
anyone has a reputation of working their tail off and making something in this life
look successful on the outside. Don’t
think there are not allot of hidden secrets, dried tears or even sweat and blood
pouring out on the floor they are trying to get back up from. Be it physical and especially spiritual. The battles are real for all of us.
For me they see a single woman coming and get their game on to see what hustle
they can get past me. Why do I say that? LOL ask the many that played on my caring,
sharing and kindness.
But even in the recent gambit on my wheels that in the past 2 weeks where
my day to day included perfectly functional pool technology working fine to not
once but twice piping connecting the pump and filter just kept blowing
apart. Thank you, Jesus, both occurrences
happened in the daytime, and I was home to catch it.
Then out of the blue just the other day the watermain line to my house on
the outside coming apart and yes on my side of the blue wire to fix. But yesterday on top of all the other day
to day waiting to see what direction those I love will choose to go. Managing my own day to day and trying to be
continued support for all God has entrusted me. I go to dealership to just get an oil change
and asked them to check my brakes something funky is going on every now and
again and they work but I will be getting back on the road soon again.
I let them know the last oil change 3000 miles ago they recommended my
brake line get flushed as moisture has built up in it. So, I get it, I read up on it and living in a very hot humid state somehow
that can happen. Well, they reminded
me my brakes were replaced recently and still perfect. However, 20 minutes later they come get me
to show me this anomaly that they do not understand how it could happen. I follow the girl out to my car where 3
other technicians are up under my hood and one comes away with some little test
strip and all of them are telling me.
There is a foreign fluid in the reservoir to the brake lines. That the fluid is really dark, and they
tested and there is some petroleum-based fluid in my brake lines. Okay What?
What does that mean to me? How
could that be, if you are telling me my wheels have no way of getting anything
in the lines unless someone put it there; Oh, what? Wait you say I now need to replace my entire
brake lines all the way through? Oh,
wait show me again; look he will go get another test strip to prove its there….
Hmmmmm well how could that be if
my car stays locked and all I wanted was a check up and things are working just
sometimes that ABS kicks in more noticeably and no other lights. I raised it up to check because I am needing
to be safe traveling.
Alright well I am not in a place to do this right now so I need a price
quote and I will need to work through this, because honestly, I am supposed to
go with family that I spend no time with and now everything that has been
planned out is hanging in the air. Oh
no I can rent a car and go however I cannot pay for my wheels to be fixed as
you say its going to be allot and you will send me the estimation and a rental….
Oh, your red stamping the paperwork that you keep in your files to show you
have told me that the vehicle now without getting this work is not safe to drive
and no you do not have any rentals or loaners.
Em Okay!!!
Giving me copies only charging me for the oil change and telling me I
should get the estimate on Monday. Oh,
did I forget that they want to buy my vehicle back and sell me a new one. What are you crazy I finally paid mine off
why would I do that? Even if now, someone
has sabotaged my brake lines and I need to fix them I will work it out and pay
for the fix but not getting into car payments with so much uncertainty in this world
and employment changing so often without notice. Much less I am digging out for all those
other choices I made years before giving away all I yes Me/I work my tail off
for.
In most cases well worth the sacrifice but yeah… I made some choices I
thought me, and God had worked out over the past couple years helping unknown
causes to get burnt and paying the IRS for what doesn’t qualify.
Live is so full of nonsense and undue stuff when you color your day to
day outside the lines.
No that does not mean we must stay within our own lanes. Or never take risks or step up and out in
faith no matter what the reason.
Just means that which is outside the lines well cannot be taken back but
changes the entire canvas of what your allowed to scribble out.
Referring to speaking life. This
is it, mine not always putting details out there many times talking in riddle
or rhymes yet sharing pieces of me over time.
Tomorrow is never promised so
fighting my way through that one more time why did they have to do that? Or What do you want from me Lord? I cannot do this game anymore, why are you
not revealing the who, the what, the when the change you want me to follow and with
whom I am to circle up?
I am not exempt of wondering who really cares nor am I exempt from fighting
hard not to be consumed by all this trivial garbage at the hands of those who
play with people’s lives because of
their own greed or misaligned choices.
Yes, I am getting a second opinion at a different shop on Monday. It’s a game changer on what happens next. Yes, someone if they find a foreign
substance in my brake lines. Someone
purposely put it there. There is no way
around that. No I cannot prove if it
is so who! Was it the quick lube who
wanted me to flush my brake lines the last oil change; was it the big
dealership who has messed up on my wheels in the past and just trying to get my
vehicle in there for more money? Or even
that they want my car because of the chip shortage, and they need resale items
because they cannot release the inventory like ever before because of the huge
tech chip shortage. Oh yes, the chips that are made for all our vehicles
and so much more. Well, the US and
powers that be sold out the company that handled that in the US to China and
now there is a shortage and all our dealerships and so much more is getting
ready to head for something bigger than a great depression.
Even though supply and demand is moving very slowly more and more people
are hording and soon we had better figure out how to commune and grow food on
our own land much less survive.
It is real and if you just look around, I mean just read the news around
the world and look at your own local shelves.
No, I am not raising the run for the hills the sky is falling and toilet
paper will be out of stock again.
I may be really hurt just thinking something I need to do because it may
be the last time, I can see those I love; that I may not be able to do so. I may be stressed to know that even though I
should be able to rely on others it is always in the back of my mind things
will go wrong.
I may be fighting hard knowing who my God is and that if He wants me
walking, going, or staying in any thing that happens. Well, I may get weary, but I am going to do
all I can to keep rising up.
Does not mean I do not need to seek redemption for that anger and things
that come out of my mouth or even when I cannot shake something as quick to get
rid of it as it comes.
But the good Lord knows me better than anything on this planet.
He did not bring me out the darkness on so many occasions even when I
had no clue I was there.
If he got me up If he got you up… He has something more for us to be, to
do, to achieve, to give. I cannot
quit right now even if the heaviness on this heart is real. I am who he says I am; I go where he allows
me to be. I love and hold true to
those he allows in.
Walking in the fire, struggling with the balance of self and all God is
within me each time I am chipped away.
The struggle is real…
Good thing nowhere is it written life will be easy, free or without demons,
darkness and all those wolves in sheep’s clothing. The devil does where Prada and somewhere
along the line we think we should keep up without being consumed. Sometimes even when we are not trying to
keep up; we are forced by circumstances to make choices.
Well, Here I Am! Reminding the darkness,
the day I went in that water everything I am physically, spiritually, of my own
or through my bloodline or all connections.
Every single second of any of it no matter who what or where. Belongs to Jesus Christ. So
no matter how or what. Laughing all the
way and running through the blessings or crying clawing my way back up that
hill. I know to whom I belong and
although unlike 30 years ago ready to scrap and fight; hating confrontation and
needing to fight. Well I am fully
faithful knowing the same Jesus that hung on that cross, died, came back and
lives within those who call upon His name to dwell with in. Which I do! That He in the end will cast the final
judgement and take away all the rotten fruit and bless us with more than
anything this world will ever give or take.
Even if! Even when, Even Then!
No matter if I am reminding myself or sharing with others. No matter how much I wish and feel the pain. The battle is real, but everything will be alight
even when it is crumbling around us.
Man, woman. You, Me… we all
belong to a much higher power be it we choose to pick up the armor of God daily
and seek prayer are take and become the vessel of prayer.
We all need it. This world needs
it. There is no way around that which
we have no control but to choose to quit or keep fighting forward.
Father God you know the outcome.
Though I may seek your favor, I deserve nothing . Your will life me up and keep me together
in all that I am weary, I hurt, I cannot understand and especially get so angry
and react. This is not how it turns
out in the end. You do not take us
through this life giving and taking away for us to quit and left in the dark
corners of life waiting for the walls to crumble around us. Even when we lose everything you reveal exactly
what everything truly means.
May the glory of God shine through every step, every battle every turn
and twist this life ride takes me through.
Be with all I am connected for all things. The victory is already yours Jesus. Send those to me you call for me to
connect. Show me the how and when…
