3/31/2019
Good morning Father
Well this month is certainly going out like a lion angry and on the hunt for whatever it can devour. Lord I trust you because I believe.
But I must confess when it comes to my children and grandchildren’s well being. If they are truly protected and guided because they fall under the umbrella of my obedience that would be great. But if they must believe, live and walk the walk with you themselves for the children to be protected and guided in this world.
I am at your mercy begging to please wrap your loving arms around them and guide them. Please grab hold of their mamma guiding and protecting her all the way.
My children both have huge hearts and although they can hold their own to a point in this world. Just like all of us. Without you Lord they will be lost forever.
You know the needs and prayers of my heart for my children. Please Father, reveal yourself in them. Lift the pain of this world that burdens my daughter so deeply she sometimes just does not see the truth of your love and how to take those next steps.
I get it Jesus how hard this life can be; I don’t always make the right assumptions, choices or even actions and I walk with you daily. I ask for your will be done; your guidance and protection be wrapped around the children. All the children tied to Luis. May they please all have a chance for clean hands and clean hearts. Lord, I have seen much in this world in my time and lived through even more.
The world has become more evil and dark. I pray father the images that were revealed to Haley are removed with your love. These kids know about you; may your angels of mercy, accountability and love swoop down and grasp on to them right now.
Not every child in this world has met you yet Father. Please hear their cries and save them from the darkness.
Lord
Your words and message is clear; but yet so hard to follow, when you see your children suffering. I know you get this as you placed your only son on that cross to take all this worlds sin. Please show me how to not get sucked in and lost over what I cannot control. I need your strength Father for these kids and what will happen if my daughter reacts without proper grounding, guidance and relationship with you; not only for her, but for her daughter.
It saddens me that Luis who knows of you very much had such a bad beginning in life and even worse ending. I pray for His soul Jesus. May those who did all that are evil be brought to justice~
Lord I kind of get where such stupid terms as Cubed Emotions would have come in the middle of the night. Because if I could take all the emotions all who are suffering, lost, in pain, lonely all that pain you took to that cross. Father I would put it all in a cube seal it up and toss it as far away as possible.
For me, for my family, for those I have yet to meet. For all those who have left this planet suffering.
God you are love but this world is losing ground. Show me and all I am connected to how to keep shining a light for those searching for you to find. Please show me how to maintain hope of a future with you for me, for my family. In a dark reality that when we are tied to you, it consumes everything around you.
I am thankful Lord for you, for this day, for the love I have been given a glimpse of.
For the birds singing
without worry or burden. Jesus thank
you for all you have done. Please
clear this mind and show me how to not only get through, but lead through in
Your love; what is put in front of me.
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Lord thank you for a somewhat peaceful day. I want to say no matter what Lord. No matter what clarity, no matter what mixed directions, signals or communications. You God are still and always will be in control. Please guide and protect my children and grandchildren. With all the other children of this world Lord at risk.
Thank you for the things you allow me to do. Guide me for those I still need to learn.
3/30/2019
Good morning world and thank you Jesus for this new
day.
Looking out the window, it appears to be a little cool and
overcast and gray. Although; it is not what is on the outside, that will
make that decision. It is perspective and what we choose that will make
this day truly beautifully blessed.
No matter what comes my way it is a new opportunity to find
the good in everything that transpires this day and everyday that is allowed.
It takes allot of practice on my part for sure; sometimes
things get so heavy I truly just want to disappear. Find that island of paradise and hide. But we know storms even come and wash away
anything on the outside meant to be temporary no matter where we are.
Good or bad; everything in this world is temporary. It is what truly stays within your soul that
last forever. For me, there will never
be enough I can do, or say to give thanks; for the day I woke up, died to
myself and truly met Jesus and let Him in.
I will never fully understand that or what it really means
in the end. If I am wrong and living in
a fantasy world by trying to do the best I can, remaining obedient and pure in
all I do. Well then that’s on me.
The peace I carry since I have started my walk with the
living God; is indescribably beautiful.
Yes, I let the world and my own will to overwhelm me too
often. But God always reminds me how
close He is and all that has been and all that is to come.
So in my normal fashion I wake every morning between 2 and
3am. Whenever I do there is always
something on my mind. Words, phrases,
people. Things I need to do. This has been my entire being pretty
much. But back in the day I never paid
attention. Unless of course I would have
a dream over that would occur more than a once. Those use to scare the daylights out of me.
From my earliest memories as kid dreaming I was running up
and knocking on my best friends door and they answered in their pajamas and I
went in and we sat around a table reminiscing.
I was like 10 when that would happen and when I was about 13 we went
back to NY where I spent many childhood days and I relived the dream.
Like a déjà vu; made me crazy for while not understanding
anything. From around the time the OJ
Simpson murder cases took place to having a repeated dream being in a plane
crash when I never even flew at the time.
To where a charter plane crashed in a park in lot across from the
apartment complex I lived. To crazy things where I would dream over and
over the entire street was burning up to even those things that I would wake
from being attacked in a parking garage.
Dreams are crazy right.
Even to those of this day an age that I sometimes still have; to one not
that long ago I woke in a panic because something was about to happen to a
friend.
I am not the only soul in this world that dreams or wakes in
the wee hours with weird thoughts or things that come to mind. I am glad my dreams are not all the time; and
glad I don’t let them get to me anymore.
Even if they should, I leave everything I am or is about to be in the
hands of the maker that granted me this mind and all that goes with me.
Sometimes that is hard.
Sometimes things occur that I never anticipated and rock me off my
emotional feet if you will. But for the
most part I finally find my way back up.
Good or bad sometimes it is not before I make others a wee bit crazy or
even myself make some choices that maybe I didn’t give it back to God soon enough. But that is the great thing about being
human and creation of God.
I learned a long time ago I do not like to feel emotion
towards others. I have a very hard time
allowing anyone close to me other than a brotherly, sisterly love kind of way.
It is almost like anything I truly ever got close to ended
up going away from a very early age.
So I learned to live at a distance.
So this morning in those wee hours; I woke with two words on
my mind. Lord knows what it means fully.
I only know trying to understand and thinking this morning, it has triggered
this writing.
“Cubed Emotions”
Now I could get it
if it was curbed emotions or anything else. I actually had to go out to Google
and see if there was anything out there that would make sense for why these two
words came to me. I had never heard
this phrase before but there are something’s related to behavioral patterns I
guess.
If we think about it; I guess by trying not to feel or
letting others know when we feel. You kind
of, put things in a cube or mental box.
Especially if you do let them know then you spend hours beating yourself
up that you gave up something of the inside that no one should have.
I say it all the time that God has a great sense of humor
when He comes to me and how I think and actually put my thoughts in to writing
or sometimes let folks know.
It’s all good!
Really, it is; because I am me. Far from perfect and absolutely, no better,
no worse than any other being on this earth.
As everyone, I have been uniquely made with my own specific
quirks and abilities; with dreams and desires that only God can understand.
I am blessed to have been given strong will, love music that
frees my soul, and am able to dream and have all these thoughts that sometimes
come out of left field. I may never
know what tomorrow will really bring; and I may forever fight with myself to
just keep pushing forward and make God take it all and not deal with what I do
not know or understand or believe even until it comes to pass.
But I know one thing; as He has created each one of us to be
unique and in His image. I am a child
of God and I am blessed as I am. I do
not live for what the world thinks or what I think the world can give me if I
am good enough or not.
Do I feel good, when someone takes notice and shows me love,
accolades or even flattery? I would be
lying if I said no. We all need
someone, we all need that encouragement, and we all need love.
We all need to be willing to risk in obedience and faith
with unconditional expectations. Towards
us, or even towards those that are doing such for us. Our psyche needs it to grow and remain
healthy.
So maybe the message of Curbed Emotions; is yet to
come. Maybe it is just the
acknowledgement of this for me. Who
knows; when the words actually come and fit in that space with those. I will write. For now I am thankful that all that is
hidden deep within me belongs to Christ.
Until that day comes that something changes; I am a child, of the most-high
God. And for that I will remain
forever blessed.
As I pray all I am connected will someday without some of
the things I experience but their own.
They are blessed to come to wake, walk, talk and live with Jesus. That salvation truly is available for those
who want it. That the love and
abundant mercy and grace is waiting for them.
Healing and protecting all from the inside out.
I am in love with Jesus Christ and all that He stood for, suffered for, and died for. Without Him we would not exist. There is nothing wrong ever wanting to see the good in all situations or people.
There is nothing wrong in fighting the elements of this world when we are layered up and beat down to believe in everything else that is temporary or destructive to the being we were created to be.
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03/29/2019
Good morning Father thank you for this day.
On these rising thoughts; I wonder just how many of us really
forget who we are, where we came from and who we belong. Thinking these weird thoughts, if we were to
put a statistical number to this universe of just how many of us walk around on
that platform looking down and treating others beneath them.
It does not mean they have any sort of fame or fortune; but
there are those as well. Those that
have worked really hard throughout their careers and made it to certain levels
or statuses in this world and forget how to be humble.
Then just in general how humanity shows so much lack of
respect, compassion or even honor and loyalty
for what or those that should truly matter.
Sure we respect and are loyal to what is right in front of us
most of the time. But what about in the
shadows in those hidden secret places; like the kids that are doing what we are
not supposed to and hiding it from or parents.
If we have parents when walking back in the doors of our day to days.
Only You Jesus know how this mind of mine works at times. As I wake up with sometimes things such as
this to think about, sometimes that deep desire and passion; Agape Love I have
dreamed about all my life. Sometimes
hurt from what is going on around me in the news; even sometimes beating myself
up; okay that one happens daily. I just
do not let it out all the time. But
beating myself up daily for what I did or did not do; or can or cannot do.
When in essence, this life and everything around us; belongs to
you Father. Just on loan to us in this time we walk the earth. We are all out doing life the way we think
is best and know it. We should all be
doing the best we can with what we get to work with.
No matter what; we are doing we should be happy. Yet, why are so many souls not at
peace? So much unrest on this earth
Father; so much pain and sorrow that is not necessary. So many souls out there; abusing and
destroying others and themselves and still never at peace where they exist.
Over the years, I have seen allot, lived through allot, watched
even more that I would get close to suffer, die; leave beautiful children
behind. All because of the choices they
make to get them through the day to day of this life on earth. So much talent and beautiful souls
lost. I know this is not new to
anything in the cycle of life. Reading
through your word there has always been this constant battle of souls between
good and what can be truly evil. Never
will I understand it; nor do I know why it pops on this little mind of mine as
it does. I do know everything happens
for a reason. It is not my job to chase
what those reasons are; or justify any of it.
Thank you Father for the mind you did save for me; for the
knowledge, and career I have been able to acquire and maintain, for the lessons
the many many lessons of this life.
You give and take away Father, this I know. I pray that I am never let go by you during
anything that happens in this journey and what is left. I pray for all the souls I am connected with
Jesus. For abundant peace, love mercy
and grace; that only you give.
Prayers, of healing emotionally and physically for those in need; be it
for illness, brokenness, and addictions.
Jesus may we have the courage and strength only you can give.
I pray for forgiveness for myself and all that I make it when I
should not; but even more when I just am not seeing or hearing you Jesus. I pray for those who cannot pray
father. May the blessings of
receptivity and attentiveness for all you are, being upon us. May all these thoughts you have allowed me to
just freely flow; mean something good for any who stumble upon them.
In all that we are right here right now; in all that we do right
here right now. May your will be done;
may your children in the mission fields of this life be guided, protected and
held tightly to you Father.
In your mighty precious name and the blood of Jesus Christ’ Amen
Philippians 3:17 New International Version (NIV)
17 Join together in following my example, brothers and
sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live
as we do.
Mark 10:15 New International Version (NIV)
15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the
kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”
Isaiah 26:3 New International Version (NIV)
3 You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.
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03/28/2019
Lord
How easily it is to jump right in and try to make
things work out as we think we know what is best. Even when we have the constant dialogue
with you Father we lose our way letting our best intentions take off running.
In some cases things work out. In others before we know it we make a mess of
things and cannot understand what happened.
Or we start feeling less than we should.
It will never be your intention to purposely let us
fail, or feel let down or less than anything; you have made us in the image of
yourself.
We know this more often than not; yet we let our own
beings just do. Some do things
intentionally while others well like me.
Let’s face it; I may always have good intentions with all I do. I forget to just be still and let things be.
Thank you Father; as you have blessed me through this
journey. Even when I could not see how;
you gave me more than just survival. I
have had protection, courage, and the ability to survive with hope, with
health, with various forms of love from my friends, my family from you. The lessons are more than text book, or
what one learns to survive Father.
Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for never letting me go when I had
given up so many times during this lives journey.
There will never be enough anyone can do to deserve
your Love and the sacrifices that were made on that cross for humanity in this
world.
Jesus I ask forgiveness for all that I make it when I
should not be.
Guide me, and all I am, all I am connected, all my
family, my friends.
All that is, all that ever will be; please may your
will Jesus be done.
May we all learn to trust and walk with you in
obedience in love, hope, giving mercy and grace as you do for all of us here on
earth. Heal us Lord from the inside
out.
Thank you Lord for this day; and all that is to
come. Good, bad, indifferent and
confusing. Your will and love shine
brightly.
Protect all your messengers with pure hearts and
walking the walk to share your message.
Bring your justice to all those that are out there for their own
personal gain.
May I and all I am connected walk in your will, your
light and shine wherever you take me.
Amen
Ecclesiastes 3:1 A Time for Everything
3 There is a season (a time appointed) for everything and a time for
every delight and event or purpose under heaven—
John 16:33 Amplified Bible (AMP)
33 I
have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the
world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be
courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be
filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.]------------
03/27/2019
Lord
There is no greater peace than that of knowing; no
matter what happens in this life. Those who choose to walk and believe and
follow you. We are, I am; forever
blessed by your eternal mercy and love.
Though on some days here on earth it may seem there is
no reprieve. To know everything in this
world is temporary for all you have given up for that big house in
eternity.
If it is all just a façade, then so be it. For the peace and love that fills me when I
cannot find comfort of this world is all worth doing my best to do what is pure
and kind.
Thank you for this day; thank you for never giving up
on me; thank you for always bringing me back when the world panic sets in,
because I cannot see it or control it.
Thank you for all you have done and all that is to
come. I would rather live in this
world with God even if it means alone and in a desert living serving you; over
being caught up in a world that standards are full of temporal things that lead
to pain. I would rather believe in all
you are than live without Jesus any day.
For you have saved me from myself and all that consumed me long ago. For this I am forever grateful with never
enough service or gratitude to return.
Philippians
2:17 New International Version (NIV)
17 But even if I am being poured out
like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am
glad and rejoice with all of you.
Mark 10:15 New International Version (NIV)
15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God
like a little child will never enter it.”
Isaiah 26:3 New International Version (NIV)
3 You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you
---
Sometimes life an be very lonely when you keep it real and you are a Jesus Freak. Sadly True; but knowing you are never really alone; you get through. You just condition yourself to appreciate the moments you do share time and space with like minded loving spirits.
Sometimes you have to just let it all go. Just to see what you are really trying to hold on to. When it is revealed if your blessed from God you know it is right. If not you let it pass you right on by.
It's called having standards, moral integrity and not settling.
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you
---
Sometimes life an be very lonely when you keep it real and you are a Jesus Freak. Sadly True; but knowing you are never really alone; you get through. You just condition yourself to appreciate the moments you do share time and space with like minded loving spirits.
Sometimes you have to just let it all go. Just to see what you are really trying to hold on to. When it is revealed if your blessed from God you know it is right. If not you let it pass you right on by.
It's called having standards, moral integrity and not settling.
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03/26/2019
03/26/2019
Lord
Thank you for this new day;
as I rise and feel weary; as I look into the mirror and see the journey and the
tracks of some heaviness in these eyes.
I thank you for the abilities, the lessons and all that I have been
given. Thank you for a mind and
abilities, to look back and know what I have seen, and the promise of what may
still come to pass.
Please guide my steps, guard
my words, and protect my soul. It is you that created me from dust; it is
you that will allow all things to come to pass. Nothing I can do, nothing I can say and
nothing I get worked up about internally will ever change the direction you
have for this soul.
I pray for blessings of
mercy, grace and abundant salvation for my loved one’s and all I am
connected. I pray for healing, guidance
and your will throughout my days and all I love.
You know all things Jesus;
Thank you ~
Isaiah 40:31 New International Version (NIV)
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Psalm 16:11 New International Version (NIV)
11 You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Lamentations 3:24 New International Version (NIV)
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.
therefore I will wait for him.
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03/25/2019
Thank you for
this day; may your will be all that matters in this journey and all that has
come, all that is yet to transpire. I am greatly humbled and humiliated to know; no matter how real I may keep it. There will always be something in the eyes of Christ that I just struggle with or miss completely.
The good news is; I am loved regardless far beyond anything or anyone in this universe can give me. Despite any or all of my faults or lacking abilities, persona or even physical attributes.
I always have been, always will be and despite any human thoughts, desires or confusion in this uniquely wired brain of mine. It has and always will need to be enough. Anything else that is a blessing that comes along is bonus. Anything that does not; is not meant to be.
So kind of like a diary of a mad women. Not just yet. This mind that has had a career in information technology for 30 plus years decoding and finding bugs in software. To managing all my geeky friends and peers still in the field. To writing about life or the things that come out from deep within.
A broken past given the blessing of life when meeting Jesus. Who allows me to sometimes seep out too much of reality of the current, of what is deep within of what once was; or even dreams of what could be.
But always reminded in the end. What really matters.
I will never stop loving, desiring caring. Most likely not even struggling with the lack of trust when it comes to others. Sometimes scars that run deep take much to just breathe past what should not be an issue for most.
But in the end. I will always be me. Confusingly transparent with deep seeded dreams and passion for all far beyond me.
I may not know where I am going; but I will never forget where I have been. But it does not mean it will ever have hold of me again.
The good news is; I am loved regardless far beyond anything or anyone in this universe can give me. Despite any or all of my faults or lacking abilities, persona or even physical attributes.
I always have been, always will be and despite any human thoughts, desires or confusion in this uniquely wired brain of mine. It has and always will need to be enough. Anything else that is a blessing that comes along is bonus. Anything that does not; is not meant to be.
So kind of like a diary of a mad women. Not just yet. This mind that has had a career in information technology for 30 plus years decoding and finding bugs in software. To managing all my geeky friends and peers still in the field. To writing about life or the things that come out from deep within.
A broken past given the blessing of life when meeting Jesus. Who allows me to sometimes seep out too much of reality of the current, of what is deep within of what once was; or even dreams of what could be.
But always reminded in the end. What really matters.
I will never stop loving, desiring caring. Most likely not even struggling with the lack of trust when it comes to others. Sometimes scars that run deep take much to just breathe past what should not be an issue for most.
But in the end. I will always be me. Confusingly transparent with deep seeded dreams and passion for all far beyond me.
I may not know where I am going; but I will never forget where I have been. But it does not mean it will ever have hold of me again.
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03/24/2019
As I wake hitting the floor finding worship music knowing how blessed I truly am. Thank you for this new day Lord!
For the means and abilities to worship anywhere we really choose in the US. Prayers for all who have lost their lives believing in you yet damned to death due to the darkness and controlled evil where ever they were. Thank you for music Lord; may everyone be blessed to know what music can do for the soul. The stories, love, some spark painful memories most for me an abundance of energy it brings. Thank you for music.
I’m Lifting all those going through it, up to you Jesus; for healing, hope and promise, for all of what they do in this world let them know it matters.
May the song of this new day; be it the birds singing without care, instruments sounding lingering through a long night air. Or just the peace and love knowing you are right here.
Bless and carry your children shining the light for all seeking. and for all chasing Whst is dark and evil please save them and chase it back to the pits of no more as it should be.
No matter what, no matter where; Lord please bless and love all those that step up, step out in faith and conquer thier fear.
Be with us Jesus!
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I woke this morning just needing, wanting and listening to worship music. Feeding my spirit in need. Then I went and served in the booth this weekend with our own local worship team all volunteers as we transition our church into independence and growth. We are still seeking worship leadership to get us on point for the future.
Although everyone as a worship team together is green when it comes to services on our own; Jesus was in the house. I could not be more blessed. Then to hear the message on God's sovereignty and trust me I did not know it was coming when I wrote recently about the same thing. I felt like it was meant for me in some points. https://www.facebook.com/justalwaysmekelly/videos/2138056869620131/?t=10
Long back, not nearly long enough I gave my life to Christ and have been blessed and walking the walk through this crazy hard world at times. But it was not until recently I actually started deep diving into my story when I pulled out my manuscript and started working it again. There are somethings that bring tears to my eyes of my past but I know my God allowed me through this for a reason.
I often keep people at a distance, I lack trust, for my own protection. One I care too much and usually get easily taken in just helping folks. I have put myself in some pretty tough spots not caring enough about my own. The other, I am not good with relationships and I never want a relationship of the world ever again. Sounds crazy but anything I ever do has to be of God, with God and through God.
But lately the emotions stirring in me about why am I still single after all this time. Not that I was sitting there thinking about needing a husband; there have been times I have cried out; I can't do this on my own. There have been times that I see couples and feel like I was ripped over and missing out.
However, my life was a mess, from the day I was born right up until my rebirth.
Between today's message and yesterday where found an old video clipping of some cardboard testimonies that a group of us walked forward and did 9 years ago on Easter.
It dawned on me why I steer clear of any personal relationships.
First and most importantly; If God wanted me to ever be involved with anyone again.
It would be His choice not mine. And although I love on everyone; it really is going to take a tall order of God's standards not my own. I could go through layers of reasons for my lack of judgement and trust but I will just say.
The day I came out of that water. I belong to Christ; so no matter how ever long I remain alive on this earth. It is all what He sends if anything.
God knows us so well; He knows my heart, my deepest desires. My fears, where I have been and where I am, walking with Him. For that alone I am blessed beyond all measure.
So in the message today there were allot of good points and valid relational examples how we are as humans. But what I was not expecting today's message to well call me out as it did. Not trusting God enough to except His Grace and not letting go of what He washed clean.
Now much happened in my life's journey and as a young adult I made some horrible choices in the life I had been given.
It was not until I turned 55 it what I could never understand, all began to start making sense on how my life went the way it did and my story was written out.
But the bottom line is, that story will eventfully come public as well. And colorful and full of life; it will never be about pointing fingers or blame. Simple fact is NONE of us are perfect so no matter what happened in our youth or growing times. If we made it through that is all that matters. Scars or not, emotional or physical or not. We now own our destiny, so let go of blaming anyone for the way you are today. If you want to be different and you have not done so already. I strongly suggest, you find you some no agenda friends; find you a good bible based church and most importantly start building a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
For me as I look back at my story as I look at that video of the cardboard testimony and remembering how I felt like I was going to puke. Putting my business out for the world to see.
I realized even with today's message how I am still holding all those emotions and guilt.
Which justifies why I always find myself pushing anyone trying to get close to me away.
Sure I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I do. I would be lost without my loving family of God and I would have never grown as much as I have without them.
But I don't do emotions to well or like feeling so out of control when I allow myself close to anyone.
I never had that type of life growing up so I don't know how to handle it.
I would love to say I was some of the friends I had with the mom, the dad nice house and all kinds of things that went with it. But it never and absolutely no where in that journey could you ever say my life could be seen through rose colored glasses.
Never the less, that was then and this is now; and one thing I realized today a little more deeper than knowing I am always great for advise and helping others; but yes pretty much suck as my own worse critic when it comes to myself.
No matter how much I raise others up; and talk the talk that God is the answer. HE IS!
I realized today and not just in ladies bible study were we know we have that tug of war going on.
There are actual parts of me parts of me that still haunting my spirit that does not allow me to fully let go and believe even though I came out of that water years ago, even though I have walked the walk and live in obedience and when I do falter beg for forgiveness. I just ignore the fact and avoid it all together I am a chose one of God and I am blessed and I am allowed to except His blessings and grace.
Now it sounds crazy, if you wanted get out in the hood, if you wanted to get street and me tell you all about my Jesus. I still can. No problems telling where I was, where I been and all the good the bad the ugly I have come across in this life. And give you blessing moment after blessing moment where He saved me.
Yet when it comes deep inside I am worthy and deserving of that which I desire within. To know what it really means for true, loving kindness, Agape love that has that trust and worthiness. Believing the world still has those that lift you up and not give up or have their own agenda's while with you with others as well. Hard to explain even at this age. I once was told I was a dreamer. I guess I am and always will be. I still believe every soul deserves their King or Queen. But even in the kingdom it all takes work and not giving up during troubling times.
I realized when I shared my cardboard testimony after tears were streaming down my face watching it again for the first time in 9 years; I was overwhelmed and already lacing up the shoes and ready to haul butt before I go reaching out and they are no longer there.
I just struggle with the fact there could ever be a moment in my life those deep desires of having a relationship so loving, so true; with my own Sweet Soul King. L forever soulmate where you both trust in the Lord and both trust and love each other beyond all things. Where your connected through eternity. That bond only the maker of all heavens and earth can bring.
Now I mentioned I shared the clip and how before sending it I was emotional. And it was not the fact of the video was made. At the time I wanted to puke because I worried what the world would think until God got a tighter hold of me then. But it was like reliving that condemnation all over again. I will never be proud of some of the choices I made in my youth; and I stopped blaming or hating those that led me to the craziness. But I honesty started readying for cutting all ties because of who I was and not who I am today. Ready to just get back to burying myself in work, projects, serving. Turn off all feeling and avoid anything that might make me defend what has already been washed away. And honestly now I can say who cares. If someone wants to judge me for my past, if someone wants to think they are above anything that me or anyone that has a past. We don't need them in our life anyway. I don't need them in my life. Does not make me think anything less of them. Everyone has the freedom of choice and will. If they are truly a child of God and walk in the spirit. Then no matter what they realize they cannot judge anyone for when they were not a child of God. They can choose to love them from a distance though. And that as well is a blessing if that is how life is.
Crazy right? I would have never thought in a million years I would be sitting here writing about feelings that overwhelm me of personal desires. Or of what it feels like looking at myself in a video putting a blimp of my testimony on a piece of cardboard for the world to see. I have been humiliated by my own standards. However, today I have been humbled listening to a message where we still pull back and without thinking a second thought. We take control of thoughts and choices that God already has blessed and taken care of. The day you take that plunge the day you come up out of that water. All those sins are nailed to the cross with Jesus Christ. Who went there willingly for His Father. That tug of war you find yourself in. Believing you are not good enough in this world for anything. Is a lie; and honestly every time you convince yourself that the sacrifice of Christ suffering on that cross is relived over and over.
Accept the blessings God gives you. Sure you need to be cautious in this world today.
absolutely you don't go jumping off a bridge just because you think something or someone is good and you see a sign to do so.
When confusion and emotions set in. Pray harder; remove yourself away to a quiet place turn worship music on, or just go face down. Open the bible. Just don't doubt the blessings of God. Do not doubt the baptism you took part in, really was not of the bible or meant anything to the Lord Jesus Christ. I say it this way; because 1 day 10 years; when you doubt you are worthy for blessing of any size or magnitude from Jesus Christ. you are saying you know better and nothing the bible, Christ or our Father of all heavens and earth mean much if anything.
Extreme absolutely. I may not have thought my self doubt or my self worth took anything away from the Lord; But it does, no matter if you are sinning or thinking you have it under control or are just unwilling to accept God's got this life. And I and all of you are worth every nail in that cross according to God and Jesus not me.
My point for reminiscing is the message given today. You can listen at that link if you want. But for me. Even if you are out there walking the walk and not being judgmental of others.
Are you truly accepting the grace and gifts you are given. Or do say you believe and walk with God but cannot accept the fact that you, that I are perfect and washed clean by the blood of Jesus.
He took everything to that cross so we did not have to. No matter the sins of the past; Let Them Go!
You can never change yesterday. But you don't have to worry about tomorrow.
What will be will be. For me if My God, Our God wants to bless me with my forever Sweet Soul King. There is nothing I can do to stop that, nor do I want to.
If he does not then perhaps my future life is just not here and why worry when I am the bride of Christ held by the Prince of Peace and Maker of all creation.
It is okay to sometimes feel bad feel bad about things we did wrong in our past; but thank Jesus for taking it all away. Let it go! Don't take back from God what he took to the cross just so He has to take the pain over and over again.
As I wake hitting the floor finding worship music knowing how blessed I truly am. Thank you for this new day Lord!
For the means and abilities to worship anywhere we really choose in the US. Prayers for all who have lost their lives believing in you yet damned to death due to the darkness and controlled evil where ever they were. Thank you for music Lord; may everyone be blessed to know what music can do for the soul. The stories, love, some spark painful memories most for me an abundance of energy it brings. Thank you for music.
I’m Lifting all those going through it, up to you Jesus; for healing, hope and promise, for all of what they do in this world let them know it matters.
May the song of this new day; be it the birds singing without care, instruments sounding lingering through a long night air. Or just the peace and love knowing you are right here.
Bless and carry your children shining the light for all seeking. and for all chasing Whst is dark and evil please save them and chase it back to the pits of no more as it should be.
Bless and carry your children shining the light for all seeking. and for all chasing Whst is dark and evil please save them and chase it back to the pits of no more as it should be.
No matter what, no matter where; Lord please bless and love all those that step up, step out in faith and conquer thier fear.
Be with us Jesus!
------------------
I woke this morning just needing, wanting and listening to worship music. Feeding my spirit in need. Then I went and served in the booth this weekend with our own local worship team all volunteers as we transition our church into independence and growth. We are still seeking worship leadership to get us on point for the future.
Although everyone as a worship team together is green when it comes to services on our own; Jesus was in the house. I could not be more blessed. Then to hear the message on God's sovereignty and trust me I did not know it was coming when I wrote recently about the same thing. I felt like it was meant for me in some points. https://www.facebook.com/justalwaysmekelly/videos/2138056869620131/?t=10
Long back, not nearly long enough I gave my life to Christ and have been blessed and walking the walk through this crazy hard world at times. But it was not until recently I actually started deep diving into my story when I pulled out my manuscript and started working it again. There are somethings that bring tears to my eyes of my past but I know my God allowed me through this for a reason.
I often keep people at a distance, I lack trust, for my own protection. One I care too much and usually get easily taken in just helping folks. I have put myself in some pretty tough spots not caring enough about my own. The other, I am not good with relationships and I never want a relationship of the world ever again. Sounds crazy but anything I ever do has to be of God, with God and through God.
But lately the emotions stirring in me about why am I still single after all this time. Not that I was sitting there thinking about needing a husband; there have been times I have cried out; I can't do this on my own. There have been times that I see couples and feel like I was ripped over and missing out.
However, my life was a mess, from the day I was born right up until my rebirth.
Between today's message and yesterday where found an old video clipping of some cardboard testimonies that a group of us walked forward and did 9 years ago on Easter.
It dawned on me why I steer clear of any personal relationships.
First and most importantly; If God wanted me to ever be involved with anyone again.
It would be His choice not mine. And although I love on everyone; it really is going to take a tall order of God's standards not my own. I could go through layers of reasons for my lack of judgement and trust but I will just say.
The day I came out of that water. I belong to Christ; so no matter how ever long I remain alive on this earth. It is all what He sends if anything.
God knows us so well; He knows my heart, my deepest desires. My fears, where I have been and where I am, walking with Him. For that alone I am blessed beyond all measure.
So in the message today there were allot of good points and valid relational examples how we are as humans. But what I was not expecting today's message to well call me out as it did. Not trusting God enough to except His Grace and not letting go of what He washed clean.
Now much happened in my life's journey and as a young adult I made some horrible choices in the life I had been given.
It was not until I turned 55 it what I could never understand, all began to start making sense on how my life went the way it did and my story was written out.
But the bottom line is, that story will eventfully come public as well. And colorful and full of life; it will never be about pointing fingers or blame. Simple fact is NONE of us are perfect so no matter what happened in our youth or growing times. If we made it through that is all that matters. Scars or not, emotional or physical or not. We now own our destiny, so let go of blaming anyone for the way you are today. If you want to be different and you have not done so already. I strongly suggest, you find you some no agenda friends; find you a good bible based church and most importantly start building a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
For me as I look back at my story as I look at that video of the cardboard testimony and remembering how I felt like I was going to puke. Putting my business out for the world to see.
I realized even with today's message how I am still holding all those emotions and guilt.
Which justifies why I always find myself pushing anyone trying to get close to me away.
Sure I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I do. I would be lost without my loving family of God and I would have never grown as much as I have without them.
But I don't do emotions to well or like feeling so out of control when I allow myself close to anyone.
I never had that type of life growing up so I don't know how to handle it.
I would love to say I was some of the friends I had with the mom, the dad nice house and all kinds of things that went with it. But it never and absolutely no where in that journey could you ever say my life could be seen through rose colored glasses.
Never the less, that was then and this is now; and one thing I realized today a little more deeper than knowing I am always great for advise and helping others; but yes pretty much suck as my own worse critic when it comes to myself.
No matter how much I raise others up; and talk the talk that God is the answer. HE IS!
I realized today and not just in ladies bible study were we know we have that tug of war going on.
There are actual parts of me parts of me that still haunting my spirit that does not allow me to fully let go and believe even though I came out of that water years ago, even though I have walked the walk and live in obedience and when I do falter beg for forgiveness. I just ignore the fact and avoid it all together I am a chose one of God and I am blessed and I am allowed to except His blessings and grace.
Now it sounds crazy, if you wanted get out in the hood, if you wanted to get street and me tell you all about my Jesus. I still can. No problems telling where I was, where I been and all the good the bad the ugly I have come across in this life. And give you blessing moment after blessing moment where He saved me.
Yet when it comes deep inside I am worthy and deserving of that which I desire within. To know what it really means for true, loving kindness, Agape love that has that trust and worthiness. Believing the world still has those that lift you up and not give up or have their own agenda's while with you with others as well. Hard to explain even at this age. I once was told I was a dreamer. I guess I am and always will be. I still believe every soul deserves their King or Queen. But even in the kingdom it all takes work and not giving up during troubling times.
I realized when I shared my cardboard testimony after tears were streaming down my face watching it again for the first time in 9 years; I was overwhelmed and already lacing up the shoes and ready to haul butt before I go reaching out and they are no longer there.
I just struggle with the fact there could ever be a moment in my life those deep desires of having a relationship so loving, so true; with my own Sweet Soul King. L forever soulmate where you both trust in the Lord and both trust and love each other beyond all things. Where your connected through eternity. That bond only the maker of all heavens and earth can bring.
Now I mentioned I shared the clip and how before sending it I was emotional. And it was not the fact of the video was made. At the time I wanted to puke because I worried what the world would think until God got a tighter hold of me then. But it was like reliving that condemnation all over again. I will never be proud of some of the choices I made in my youth; and I stopped blaming or hating those that led me to the craziness. But I honesty started readying for cutting all ties because of who I was and not who I am today. Ready to just get back to burying myself in work, projects, serving. Turn off all feeling and avoid anything that might make me defend what has already been washed away. And honestly now I can say who cares. If someone wants to judge me for my past, if someone wants to think they are above anything that me or anyone that has a past. We don't need them in our life anyway. I don't need them in my life. Does not make me think anything less of them. Everyone has the freedom of choice and will. If they are truly a child of God and walk in the spirit. Then no matter what they realize they cannot judge anyone for when they were not a child of God. They can choose to love them from a distance though. And that as well is a blessing if that is how life is.
Crazy right? I would have never thought in a million years I would be sitting here writing about feelings that overwhelm me of personal desires. Or of what it feels like looking at myself in a video putting a blimp of my testimony on a piece of cardboard for the world to see. I have been humiliated by my own standards. However, today I have been humbled listening to a message where we still pull back and without thinking a second thought. We take control of thoughts and choices that God already has blessed and taken care of. The day you take that plunge the day you come up out of that water. All those sins are nailed to the cross with Jesus Christ. Who went there willingly for His Father. That tug of war you find yourself in. Believing you are not good enough in this world for anything. Is a lie; and honestly every time you convince yourself that the sacrifice of Christ suffering on that cross is relived over and over.
Accept the blessings God gives you. Sure you need to be cautious in this world today.
absolutely you don't go jumping off a bridge just because you think something or someone is good and you see a sign to do so.
When confusion and emotions set in. Pray harder; remove yourself away to a quiet place turn worship music on, or just go face down. Open the bible. Just don't doubt the blessings of God. Do not doubt the baptism you took part in, really was not of the bible or meant anything to the Lord Jesus Christ. I say it this way; because 1 day 10 years; when you doubt you are worthy for blessing of any size or magnitude from Jesus Christ. you are saying you know better and nothing the bible, Christ or our Father of all heavens and earth mean much if anything.
Extreme absolutely. I may not have thought my self doubt or my self worth took anything away from the Lord; But it does, no matter if you are sinning or thinking you have it under control or are just unwilling to accept God's got this life. And I and all of you are worth every nail in that cross according to God and Jesus not me.
My point for reminiscing is the message given today. You can listen at that link if you want. But for me. Even if you are out there walking the walk and not being judgmental of others.
Are you truly accepting the grace and gifts you are given. Or do say you believe and walk with God but cannot accept the fact that you, that I are perfect and washed clean by the blood of Jesus.
He took everything to that cross so we did not have to. No matter the sins of the past; Let Them Go!
You can never change yesterday. But you don't have to worry about tomorrow.
What will be will be. For me if My God, Our God wants to bless me with my forever Sweet Soul King. There is nothing I can do to stop that, nor do I want to.
If he does not then perhaps my future life is just not here and why worry when I am the bride of Christ held by the Prince of Peace and Maker of all creation.
It is okay to sometimes feel bad feel bad about things we did wrong in our past; but thank Jesus for taking it all away. Let it go! Don't take back from God what he took to the cross just so He has to take the pain over and over again.
------------------
I woke this morning just needing, wanting and listening to worship music. Feeding my spirit in need. Then I went and served in the booth this weekend with our own local worship team all volunteers as we transition our church into independence and growth. We are still seeking worship leadership to get us on point for the future.
Although everyone as a worship team together is green when it comes to services on our own; Jesus was in the house. I could not be more blessed. Then to hear the message on God's sovereignty and trust me I did not know it was coming when I wrote recently about the same thing. I felt like it was meant for me in some points. https://www.facebook.com/justalwaysmekelly/videos/2138056869620131/?t=10
Long back, not nearly long enough I gave my life to Christ and have been blessed and walking the walk through this crazy hard world at times. But it was not until recently I actually started deep diving into my story when I pulled out my manuscript and started working it again. There are somethings that bring tears to my eyes of my past but I know my God allowed me through this for a reason.
I often keep people at a distance, I lack trust, for my own protection. One I care too much and usually get easily taken in just helping folks. I have put myself in some pretty tough spots not caring enough about my own. The other, I am not good with relationships and I never want a relationship of the world ever again. Sounds crazy but anything I ever do has to be of God, with God and through God.
But lately the emotions stirring in me about why am I still single after all this time. Not that I was sitting there thinking about needing a husband; there have been times I have cried out; I can't do this on my own. There have been times that I see couples and feel like I was ripped over and missing out.
However, my life was a mess, from the day I was born right up until my rebirth.
Between today's message and yesterday where found an old video clipping of some cardboard testimonies that a group of us walked forward and did 9 years ago on Easter.
It dawned on me why I steer clear of any personal relationships.
First and most importantly; If God wanted me to ever be involved with anyone again.
It would be His choice not mine. And although I love on everyone; it really is going to take a tall order of God's standards not my own. I could go through layers of reasons for my lack of judgement and trust but I will just say.
The day I came out of that water. I belong to Christ; so no matter how ever long I remain alive on this earth. It is all what He sends if anything.
God knows us so well; He knows my heart, my deepest desires. My fears, where I have been and where I am, walking with Him. For that alone I am blessed beyond all measure.
So in the message today there were allot of good points and valid relational examples how we are as humans. But what I was not expecting today's message to well call me out as it did. Not trusting God enough to except His Grace and not letting go of what He washed clean.
Now much happened in my life's journey and as a young adult I made some horrible choices in the life I had been given.
It was not until I turned 55 it what I could never understand, all began to start making sense on how my life went the way it did and my story was written out.
But the bottom line is, that story will eventfully come public as well. And colorful and full of life; it will never be about pointing fingers or blame. Simple fact is NONE of us are perfect so no matter what happened in our youth or growing times. If we made it through that is all that matters. Scars or not, emotional or physical or not. We now own our destiny, so let go of blaming anyone for the way you are today. If you want to be different and you have not done so already. I strongly suggest, you find you some no agenda friends; find you a good bible based church and most importantly start building a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
For me as I look back at my story as I look at that video of the cardboard testimony and remembering how I felt like I was going to puke. Putting my business out for the world to see.
I realized even with today's message how I am still holding all those emotions and guilt.
Which justifies why I always find myself pushing anyone trying to get close to me away.
Sure I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I do. I would be lost without my loving family of God and I would have never grown as much as I have without them.
But I don't do emotions to well or like feeling so out of control when I allow myself close to anyone.
I never had that type of life growing up so I don't know how to handle it.
I would love to say I was some of the friends I had with the mom, the dad nice house and all kinds of things that went with it. But it never and absolutely no where in that journey could you ever say my life could be seen through rose colored glasses.
Never the less, that was then and this is now; and one thing I realized today a little more deeper than knowing I am always great for advise and helping others; but yes pretty much suck as my own worse critic when it comes to myself.
No matter how much I raise others up; and talk the talk that God is the answer. HE IS!
I realized today and not just in ladies bible study were we know we have that tug of war going on.
There are actual parts of me parts of me that still haunting my spirit that does not allow me to fully let go and believe even though I came out of that water years ago, even though I have walked the walk and live in obedience and when I do falter beg for forgiveness. I just ignore the fact and avoid it all together I am a chose one of God and I am blessed and I am allowed to except His blessings and grace.
Now it sounds crazy, if you wanted get out in the hood, if you wanted to get street and me tell you all about my Jesus. I still can. No problems telling where I was, where I been and all the good the bad the ugly I have come across in this life. And give you blessing moment after blessing moment where He saved me.
Yet when it comes deep inside I am worthy and deserving of that which I desire within. To know what it really means for true, loving kindness, Agape love that has that trust and worthiness. Believing the world still has those that lift you up and not give up or have their own agenda's while with you with others as well. Hard to explain even at this age. I once was told I was a dreamer. I guess I am and always will be. I still believe every soul deserves their King or Queen. But even in the kingdom it all takes work and not giving up during troubling times.
I realized when I shared my cardboard testimony after tears were streaming down my face watching it again for the first time in 9 years; I was overwhelmed and already lacing up the shoes and ready to haul butt before I go reaching out and they are no longer there.
I just struggle with the fact there could ever be a moment in my life those deep desires of having a relationship so loving, so true; with my own Sweet Soul King. L forever soulmate where you both trust in the Lord and both trust and love each other beyond all things. Where your connected through eternity. That bond only the maker of all heavens and earth can bring.
Now I mentioned I shared the clip and how before sending it I was emotional. And it was not the fact of the video was made. At the time I wanted to puke because I worried what the world would think until God got a tighter hold of me then. But it was like reliving that condemnation all over again. I will never be proud of some of the choices I made in my youth; and I stopped blaming or hating those that led me to the craziness. But I honesty started readying for cutting all ties because of who I was and not who I am today. Ready to just get back to burying myself in work, projects, serving. Turn off all feeling and avoid anything that might make me defend what has already been washed away. And honestly now I can say who cares. If someone wants to judge me for my past, if someone wants to think they are above anything that me or anyone that has a past. We don't need them in our life anyway. I don't need them in my life. Does not make me think anything less of them. Everyone has the freedom of choice and will. If they are truly a child of God and walk in the spirit. Then no matter what they realize they cannot judge anyone for when they were not a child of God. They can choose to love them from a distance though. And that as well is a blessing if that is how life is.
Crazy right? I would have never thought in a million years I would be sitting here writing about feelings that overwhelm me of personal desires. Or of what it feels like looking at myself in a video putting a blimp of my testimony on a piece of cardboard for the world to see. I have been humiliated by my own standards. However, today I have been humbled listening to a message where we still pull back and without thinking a second thought. We take control of thoughts and choices that God already has blessed and taken care of. The day you take that plunge the day you come up out of that water. All those sins are nailed to the cross with Jesus Christ. Who went there willingly for His Father. That tug of war you find yourself in. Believing you are not good enough in this world for anything. Is a lie; and honestly every time you convince yourself that the sacrifice of Christ suffering on that cross is relived over and over.
Accept the blessings God gives you. Sure you need to be cautious in this world today.
absolutely you don't go jumping off a bridge just because you think something or someone is good and you see a sign to do so.
When confusion and emotions set in. Pray harder; remove yourself away to a quiet place turn worship music on, or just go face down. Open the bible. Just don't doubt the blessings of God. Do not doubt the baptism you took part in, really was not of the bible or meant anything to the Lord Jesus Christ. I say it this way; because 1 day 10 years; when you doubt you are worthy for blessing of any size or magnitude from Jesus Christ. you are saying you know better and nothing the bible, Christ or our Father of all heavens and earth mean much if anything.
Extreme absolutely. I may not have thought my self doubt or my self worth took anything away from the Lord; But it does, no matter if you are sinning or thinking you have it under control or are just unwilling to accept God's got this life. And I and all of you are worth every nail in that cross according to God and Jesus not me.
My point for reminiscing is the message given today. You can listen at that link if you want. But for me. Even if you are out there walking the walk and not being judgmental of others.
Are you truly accepting the grace and gifts you are given. Or do say you believe and walk with God but cannot accept the fact that you, that I are perfect and washed clean by the blood of Jesus.
He took everything to that cross so we did not have to. No matter the sins of the past; Let Them Go!
You can never change yesterday. But you don't have to worry about tomorrow.
What will be will be. For me if My God, Our God wants to bless me with my forever Sweet Soul King. There is nothing I can do to stop that, nor do I want to.
If he does not then perhaps my future life is just not here and why worry when I am the bride of Christ held by the Prince of Peace and Maker of all creation.
It is okay to sometimes feel bad feel bad about things we did wrong in our past; but thank Jesus for taking it all away. Let it go! Don't take back from God what he took to the cross just so He has to take the pain over and over again.
-------------
03/23/2019
Thank you Lord for this day
I lift all that I am all that I am connected up to you and your will father.
One thing I know, is despite all the chaotic steps I take in this world. God always was, always is and always will be the sovereign Lord of this universe, flesh and spirit. No matter what pains I may feel from humanity, that what I have a hard time grasping, or just my own critical convictions of outcome I think should be.
No matter what I write about that does not make sense or trigger emotions in others. The fact is; all of this is temporary all of this will pass. The Lord is forever. Father, Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Living Spirit.
So these worldly layers may keep coming; I may or may find my physical end of how much I can fight to believe, fight to carry. But as I child of God of the Lord most High. My soul will always be eternally that of Christ.
Love, what is love. Back in the day as a kid when I would read the paper and they had that little Love Is section. I use to believe Love is never having to say your sorry.
I don't think that is accurate. Here is why. Love true love hurts some times. The love of the Father hurt more than anything we will ever know. Giving your one and only son to be tortured, tormented and nailed to a cross. That is love, and that is pain beyond anything we will ever begin to know. Being sorry, yes well it is very sorrowful this world doesn't fully get that. Even as a believer; I will never fully grasp what that sacrifice truly means.
So when you hurt and you say or do something towards others and truly do not mean for what it does to them to happen. Being real, being truthful, working through it starting with I'm sorry. Is love.
Falling into a disobedient lifestyle, knowing you believe in the maker of the universe and are walking with Christ. Take those needed apologies up on your knees with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Ask, Beg do what ever you need to make it right and stop the disobedient life style.
I ask forgiveness daily; no I am not out there doing anything. But Lord knows sometimes I just do not spend enough time with HIM. This got to get up and get things done leaving me constantly going. Leaves no room for just being still basking and absorbing the blessings around me.
What does that mean; that vicious cycle of first the mind is overrun, then my spirit gets heavy and if I don't catch it quick enough. The effects impact the body.
I thought I stopped chasing things long ago; even though I have had this deep desire and love hidden far away. I was able to stop chasing everything in the world; when I was deep in the word and being spiritually fed. I also was at or serving at a worship center almost 7 days a week. Life changed, family adaptations took place and well; I will not say I am not spiritually fed. But over the past year I found myself yearning more and more and sometimes being consumed by what if's.
Yearning for that Agape love; that deep rooted sweet soul, one of a kind only God knows soulmate; my Sweet Soul King. More than anything in this world that can fulfill.
What that means in the end or why this has transpired into daily thoughts, prayerful future life moments. Only God knows why or what time will bring. I am far from perfect, but the Lord knows I am not out there looking. In fact I do what I can to stay in the shadows when it comes to any potential suitors. I am not good at relationships. I have been on my own far too long. And I belong to God 200%. I refuse to get caught back up in what is temporary of this world. Been there done that, wrote a book.
What that means in the end or why this has transpired into daily thoughts, prayerful future life moments. Only God knows why or what time will bring. I am far from perfect, but the Lord knows I am not out there looking. In fact I do what I can to stay in the shadows when it comes to any potential suitors. I am not good at relationships. I have been on my own far too long. And I belong to God 200%. I refuse to get caught back up in what is temporary of this world. Been there done that, wrote a book.
So the real me that you see come out in black in white. The raw emotions, the pains I feel of things in this world; the unknowns that torment me because there must be something to everything.
The ups and downs I carry of my own and others. No matter how hard I try not to. This all comes out with pieces of me over time.
Should I keep all this in a hidden journal somewhere. Maybe; but why. We are all real and if we believe and we can see it. We can work through it. We are all human; and one thing is for sure. My God is more real than anything else in this universe. And I need everyone to know that. I really do not know where my future goes; I know where I have been. I know I have and will continue to work hard and do what is right. Lean on the only thing I know is true that has led me, pulled me and saved me from so much in this journey. That fact Jesus Christ died for me and you.
He is there waiting; so don't contemplate what to do. What is the worse that can happen if you believe and build a relationship with Him and he is real; 'YOUR SOULS LIFE ETERNAL'. What is there to really lose if you believe, you pray, you make this relationship with Jesus Christ day after day and he is not real. In all honesty there is nothing you have to lose to build that relationship and believe in all that is good and kind. I would be more concerned if you do not try and He is real; for when He comes and you are left in torment, slow death in this world of lies.
Much prayers love and peace
Much prayers love and peace
03/22/2019
Jesus
You got to take this world of mine and make sense to me please
Heal my family
Guide me through this valley that makes no sense for me to be in. Love soul or not. Your will only. Only the truth Jesus. I can’t do this. I don’t have time left to waste on what’s not true. I refuse to get angry and making a choice that I will regret the rest of my days.
I only want your will. My own will always be a mess. Help me during these times.
——-
Lord
Thank you for this day; thank you
for the wisdom, the messages and the guidance you put in front of us; when we
wipe away the world for two seconds long enough to come back to you.
You have given us freedom of will, choice and so many talents and
abilities. You have given us opportunity
to walk in the light and try to do all that is obedient, and true while
remaining loyal, mindful and respectful of all things we are given. Including ourselves.
We know there is light and there is what eventually becomes dark. Walking with you or walking in the world.
Lord, it is you and all that shines for you. I chose long back. Perhaps not soon enough in life. Nevertheless, I would not be who I am today
had you not kept me. Thank you for all
the yesterdays and all that is to come.
With that; Lord, you know my heart; you know how torn I am when it comes
to the future of the children and grandchildren you put in my life. How Father; how do I lead through this world
and to you. I know we are only to plant
the seeds and do our best in feeding with all that is good. Jesus I need you to surround all that I am;
and change hearts, open minds clearly for better choices. Send your angels Lord and surround these
young women in this world including my own family members. Show them their worth; show them other ways
and what it means walking with you is the biggest blessing they could ever
receive.
Show them Lord, when they come up out of that water they now are clean by
the blood of the cross. By you Jesus.
I know Lord; we all get there in our own time. You have reminded me often. Yet Lord there are others that must know the
truth. Give me the guidance; as I
cannot condemn or condone. Moreover, for
this I am torn.
I hardly ever get it right; and when I know I do not have the answers, I
do what I do best, which has helped me survive through the years. I turn everything off and just
function. Forever always trying not getting to close,
trying not to let anything or anyone in.
I did so well for so many years.
Why Lord, is it so easy to believe in you and all you are; yet so hard to
believe in people and possibilities? Why
is it; so hard to let you handle all that weighs on my heart?
I know the past is gone; even if so many things still are as the day is
new. I am blessed; I am. Show me what is real and what is not. Show me what to do in this life. Not just what I have always done. Show me how to be the best I can for those
around me. I cannot do this on my own
Father. You know this. Especially, now that you have allowed my
emotions to switch back on. Now that
you have allowed things deep within to come into the light. I know Lord in the end your great mercy
and grace will reflect more than I can ever imagine.
My prayers are that the same blessings happen for my family members, my
friends, and my connections. All love
all desires and all we may need. Come through you first and not our own
understanding or that of this world.
Heal us Father; please keep those leading the way strong in you with
continued well-being mind body and spirit.
Thank you Father
for this day and all the lessons of this life. Forgive me for my weakness in faith when it
comes to emotions I really struggle with when I feel.
Please whatever it is Lord; please keep me from breaking with all the weight of this world. I don't ask for much; you know me inside out. Jesus, take the wheel. Come down! We need you; I need you !
Psalm 9:10 New International Version (NIV)
10 Those who know your
name trust in you,
for you, Lord, have never forsaken
for you, Lord, have never forsaken
--------------------
03/21/2019
Lord
Thank you for each new day;
despite what is going on, how many layers pile up, how much joy or sorrow fills
the day. You never give up on us. You have never given up on me.
You teach us it is not what
we have; it is not what is on the outside.
It is what is deep within; that allows us to
find you. We know that we can be the most beautiful
piece of art on the surface; yet within without you be empty and of no meaning.
Our souls are what you are
after Jesus; all that you have sacrificed for was for eternity. Not just for this moment.
May we stop looking at what
is on the surface and release all that traps us in fear; anger, lack of belief
in our self’s.
We know; we must release
selfishness and become selfless, to really find ourselves.
It is not what we wear, not
what we look like or even what we do.
It is the love, mercy and
grace we hold deep within our heart and souls.
Please guide us Father. We know the layers of this world get heavy and
confuse us to what hill or battle we must push through. We know Love and life can hurt allot.
May we all come to know;
nothing will hurt as much as the stripes you took to the cross the day you took
the nails and your last breath as a man here.
May we know that through you all things are
possible; may we know there is no greater love, than that of the mercy and
grace you bless us with to live.
Father may your will be done
in my life, may my house server all that is pure and good as you are. May we find worth in ourselves through you alone
and surely not of this world?
As this world is temporary,
broken yet beautiful when we see it through your eyes.
May we never feel or hide
from the truth; may we never feel bad about being true to others that do not
understand or know you yet.
.You are my strength, may it
be in all you have commissioned Father God.
Not that of my imagination and the dreams that fill us in the
world. Reveal who you really are Jesus;
come this world needs you. I need you. Until that day, guide and protect all that I
am of you. Wash away all that of the
world that I once was. Teach me to know
the difference.
Please protect and guide all
the children of this world; not just those that come from my bloodline.
Thank you for this day
Jesus; thank you for this new day. Amen
Isaiah 12:2 New International Version (NIV)
2 Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense[a];
he has become my salvation.”
I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense[a];
he has become my salvation.”
Psalm 21:6 New International Version (NIV)
6 Surely you have
granted him unending blessings
and made him glad with the joy of
Thoughts triggered after reading a few things today, and thinking about my own life.
Now from my perspective and I am no theologian; nor right about everything I get into. But I do my best to learn it and stand accountable when I am wrong.
It was years later that I finally had to have more because even after going to Sunday services for years and all the holidays. Nothing was working. It was then after so many life events. I found a non-denominational bible based church, where I actually met Jesus.
If you are, a person that is filled with anger and hatefulness
For me, authenticity goes far beyond what your actions are.
My theory as one example is that I am female and that in today’s world does not even qualify any longer by the world’s standards. However, that is what I was deemed at birth by standards set long before any of us came to be. So it is and will be authentic and nothing can change that.
and made him glad with the joy of
--------------------What Is An Authentic Christian--------------------------
What is an authentic Christian?
Then it hit me; although everything ties back at the end to standing, kneeling or falling face down in front of God in the end. We all will be in front of him and we will all be judged.
But the world has so taken over the role of Judgment and labeling.
So when I see and hear things about Christianity; I do listen, I do try to digest. But I also do not take anything until it is proven to be the final word.
I do try to learn what I would like to or not like to get caught up in or be like.
My thoughts without labels or really knowing if there is a right or wrong answer to what is an Authentic Christian. Which does not diminish the fact that when we make the choice to become immersed believers, once we come up out of that water there is nonstop work to do until the day we leave this earth?
But just because I choose to take the dip, I choose to walk the walk and stop living of the world. Does that make me an authentic Christian? I mean I will continually make mistakes. It has been 22 years since I walked forward and 14 that I took the plunge and truly have been on the straight and narrow from the worlds view.
Sure many people that I have known over the years use to tell me I am a Saint. And I would laugh and tell them they are confused.
I get it biblically speaking once we truly walk the walk after dipping we are sanctified.
But what's with all the labels?
So just one of I am sure many definitions on the internet of what is an authentic Christian.
First, an authentic Christian confesses Jesus Christ as Lord (1 John 4:15). Christianity must begin with a verbal acknowledgment of Jesus Christ as the Lord of your life. The Bible says that even the demons believe and tremble (James 2:19). True Christians should be able to say that Jesus Christ is their Lord.
My thoughts and you all know if you are reading anything I write I always have lots always to think about and even more to write. However, this just struck me today with how the world judges and labels everything.
Now from my perspective and I am no theologian; nor right about everything I get into. But I do my best to learn it and stand accountable when I am wrong.
I think we should spend more time worrying about planting the seeds and nourishing what we plant where we can to make immerse believers. Helping those on track to what is good, pure, kind, loving.
Spreading the word of the love and harmony that Jesus wants us to live in. Spreading the word that its perfectly okay to respect yourself and not be like everyone else in the world. That we are nothing more or nothing less by what we have or do not have.
That it takes time and none of us will ever be perfect. The only one that will ever hold that title is our Lord and Savior.
We try though right. I am my own worst critic if I look a certain way, if I mess up on something and even catch myself at times letting judgment creep in that I have no right to allow. And no offense but usually that happens when I am out in a retail store and folks are walking around in pajamas or barely anything at all.
This is not what my point on wondering about the topic that sparked me today. I am wondering how and who gives us the right to make the decision of who is authentic and who is not.
I am not looking at the black and white answer. You know the ones that say they go to church and do all the great things of the world. As soon as they walk out of the group, crowd or church they are playing in. The real them shows up. I for years would be out working at the local pub; no I didn’t need to, I just did it because I hated being alone. But I would be out all night on Saturday and make to church every Sunday for the noon service. I called it back then going to Gods Gym.
Did I believe in God? Absolutely, even as a young adult I believed in God. I just never knew who Jesus was. Even when I would go to God’s gym, because we would kneel is how that terminology came to me back then. Not once did I ever meet Jesus. Not once did I ever really know who he was.
But I still believed in a God that I never understood.
It was not until I met Jesus, that I even cared to be baptized or believe that you cannot keep doing the world activities and ask forgiveness and do it over again. Well you can; but living the world gets you a whole pile of consequential layers, that continually leave you empty.
The world has so many theories and so many paths you could take on to believe. Knowing me straight up two things I will never fight with you over is what you believe in spiritually and politics.
The world has so many theories and so many paths you could take on to believe. Knowing me straight up two things I will never fight with you over is what you believe in spiritually and politics.
But I will every time tell you it was not until I met Jesus that making changes and living for the Lord mattered from the inside out. Labels mean nothing to me. It is kind of like a title at work. It means nothing; show me the money, show me what my worth is. Don’t tell me by calling me a title or what I do something and expect that to be authentic. None of us are really what we do.
Being real, being authentic in who you are in general is what matters.
If you are a person that plays on people and plays them out for what you can get
If you are, a person that lies all the timeIf you are, a person that is filled with anger and hatefulness
If you are a, kind hearted loving person
You can choose to make that who you want to be known as. And if that is how you want to be authenticated as by what you do. So be it; if that is what you think makes you. Who am I.
For me, authenticity goes far beyond what your actions are.
My theory as one example is that I am female and that in today’s world does not even qualify any longer by the world’s standards. However, that is what I was deemed at birth by standards set long before any of us came to be. So it is and will be authentic and nothing can change that.
So I still do not really have the answers that would make justify this confusion or reason for thoughts on the matter any better than anyone else in this universe.
But I do know based on everything I am still learning of Jesus Christ; and our God that sacrificed His one and only Son for a world that just does absorb, care or get it. That is the most authentic thing that will ever be; is God and His one and only Son and all that transpired for a world that is lost.
Even on the days that really feel the Living God with me from the moment I open my eyes to the time the close again.
Or those days that the world seeps in my life with me, my family members, my friends happen and we get caught up.
What I do know is that we are all made in the image of God; we are all made for love, kindness. Uniquely different but equally the same as we all bleed red when the day is over.
Or those days that the world seeps in my life with me, my family members, my friends happen and we get caught up.
What I do know is that we are all made in the image of God; we are all made for love, kindness. Uniquely different but equally the same as we all bleed red when the day is over.
If Christianity is based on light and dark without God; then everyone at some point can be considered. Because every soul does good and shines bright no matter what they believe even for a split second.
But where this no Christ there is no Christianity~
There is good there is evil; I choose to believe that the Lord who made all the heavens and earth and all that is within. Is the light; and those who believe and fall in love with Him and all He stands for, then die to self and do the best they can with what they are given to work with.
Well if you must put the label. So be it; I am a Christian but prefer to be considered a Jesus Freak. Not ashamed to let the world know that there is no love greater than that of which is with, in and from Jesus.
There is good there is evil; I choose to believe that the Lord who made all the heavens and earth and all that is within. Is the light; and those who believe and fall in love with Him and all He stands for, then die to self and do the best they can with what they are given to work with.
Well if you must put the label. So be it; I am a Christian but prefer to be considered a Jesus Freak. Not ashamed to let the world know that there is no love greater than that of which is with, in and from Jesus.
There is no greater peace that can replace that which comes from being a child of the most High God and doing everything I can even on my worse days to hold on tight and not care about the world; but fear I never let our God down that he no longer holds me.
That for me is authentic, when you know you are a child of the most High God. And the proof is the blessings of an indescribable peace from the inside and out. There is no other but His authentic Love.
Are there days I forget and am just like the world? Yes, when I worry about what folks think?. Sometimes; When I worry about what I don’t know or cannot control? Oh yeah!
When I know deep down it’s absolutely a God thing; because no way; no where could I have ever done something on my own.
The downfall of being human; is the mind that our God allowed us to be created with. That of which I am reminded I have in the world sometimes too much and become overwhelmed with doubts. Around those things I cannot touch see or justify.
If transparency could equate to authenticity then I am more authentic then I could understand. Even though there is only one of me and I am real I am not so much different than anyone in this world. Not better, not worse. In which the truth means none of us are authentic.
Realism that is a different story; I am who I am; have my moments, kind, caring, a baby more so now than that of my younger days. The list could go on and on. But the main thing is knowing I am a child of God. I am loved and that to me matters.
Do I sugar coat things? I keep it real and sometimes I care not to deal with what will spark a fight. Other times I am ready to go. I believe the facts speak for themselves. Will I jump up and in to help someone in need? You know it; just as I would jump in to help protect a child or elderly or even someone in harm’s way. If you tried to figure me out by my writings; or even looking at my resume with years of being in the Information technology world. You would think I was just plain crazy; and crazy is not authentic.
So for me the question should be, why do we put labels on those who believe in what is loyal, what is pure, what is true, what is kind, what is love, what is harmony. What is and always will belong to God.
I will never really know or work to find out what the meaning of What an Authentic Christian should be.
That would mean, I would have to become a judge to implement the labels and the only Judge I know is that of Jesus Christ sitting at the right hand with our awesome God.
That would mean, I would have to become a judge to implement the labels and the only Judge I know is that of Jesus Christ sitting at the right hand with our awesome God.
What I do know; is as I was, as I can be; as I will always be. I am AlwaysMeKelly. Doing the best I can with what I get to work with in this big universe. Prayerfully in love, and blessed beyond the stars and moon; space and time.
What I do know is what I try to work towards and yes hold expectations of those around me. But I don't judge or label. or try not to at least.
If you find the answer. Let me know.
What I do know is what I try to work towards and yes hold expectations of those around me. But I don't judge or label. or try not to at least.
If you find the answer. Let me know.
---------------------------------
03/20/2019
Lord, I need you; my family needs you; my friends need you; all I am connected needs you; This world here and now need you!
We so often spend so much time preparing for the storms that we
know are coming in life. Yet how often,
are we prepared for the internal storms we carry daily.
How often does a parent ready themselves as they watch on the
sidelines; their children missing out?
As parents, we want the best for the blessings given. We
want to see them reach their full potential; happy, healthy; living a life of
value. We see our children struggling not to lose themselves and in even some cases we see ourselves live through our child being totally lost.
As friends we try to just be; the listening ear, the warm hug, the
just be there.
As lovers, partner’s spouses, if that is the path God has blessed
us to be. We try to be that everything
our significant other desires, wants, needs to be the best they can be.
Yet, we place so many expectations on ourselves and eventually on
them. At some point, perhaps we stop
caring, we get complacent, and we stop showing up. Without even thinking of it.
Sometimes we continue to show up but our partner we learn was
never there and all we believe in comes crashing down
Where are you Lord in these moments that turn to so much brokenness,
pain chaos spawning internal storms. Where are you right now Jesus?
Where are you Holy Spirit that lives within, when we just cannot get past ourselves? Unable to see the promise of that new day.
In this world, we must do what we need to do to survive. However, there is more than just going
through the motions. Why Lord, do we are
stuck; when we know how blessed we truly are and all that we have been given;
all that we have come through. Why must
we feel the inability to pains of what we do not have, what we cannot fix, what
we cannot reach.
Lord
You know my heart; you know what is deep within my soul.
It is not right for me to be so blessed, yet feel so torn these days. Torn for my family; torn for my own personal desires. Torn knowing all you have done and been for me. Yet I cannot shake all that is happening with me.
Wanting to just disappear; weary from what seems useless and so very out of reach.
Wanting to just disappear; weary from what seems useless and so very out of reach.
Please hear my prayers; please guide me, and all that I am
connected.
Please heal all who are broken. Including me.
Please bless and guide all that I love.
Jesus thank you for your
constant reminders. I cannot do this
life especially right now on my own. I
know this too shall pass. Jesus at what
expense?
Father as I look to the sky and know you are real; please guide
me, release me from this madness. I do
not know why I feel so much turmoil that I cannot calm the storm inside of me.
Lord
I am supposed to be here to serve you; never am I supposed to be
here needy, wanting enabling and broken when I cannot fix things or have the
answers.
I will never have the answers.
I am not supposed to be spilling over
Lord, I need you to show up and if you are here; please open my
eyes to see, open my ears to hear. The
gift you give daily even though I am thankful for this day and many
others. I need more from you Jesus. You know all that I am. I cannot and am not of any use to anything
without you. Please forgive me for the things I make it and it is not; or for not making something as you wish and I miss the signs. Please forgive me for adding layers to anyone else in this world or taking on what never should be.
1 Corinthians 5:5 New International Version (NIV)
5 hand
this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh,[a][b] so that his
spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.
2 Corinthians 3:17 New International Version (NIV)
17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is,
there is freedom.
Psalm 50:
------------------------
03/19/2019
As the rains come and wash away or flood out all that, we try to hold onto in this world with the sudden storms. So does the hurt and anger we hold within. That of what has harmed, disrespected or let us down in this world. Weighs heavily on who we are. Unfortunately the destruction from what we will not let go; slowly destroys all our faith all our hopes and seeps out through anxiety, anger, depression, bitterness, envy finally destroying our vision and eventually who we are meant to be.
It is hard not to lash out and make rash decisions while we are stuck there.
Especially if we do not have that personal relationship with Jesus. Even for those who do walk the so-called walk in this life with promise with hope, it is so very hard maybe even more so.
We set our eyes on what is unseen; and live towards the promise
and hopes filled with peace and love everlasting. We long for all that is good and pure. Yet like everyone else, burdened by the heaviness
of this world. We hurt sometimes a
little more for all that we see that we cannot help or fix.
However, because we took that step of faith, because of who we
belong to, because we know the peace given internally. We cannot just give up, give in, and turn
our backs. We cannot take the easy way
out. We cannot take the quick fix path.
No matter how much we want to; we know, when we truly believe,
when we truly feel and love all that God did and stands for. Filled with a strength only He can
give. To keep keeping on no matter what.
We do our best as Hebrews
13:16 says “But to do and communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices
God is well pleased” What does that
mean in real talk.
Hebrews 13:16 The Message (MSG)
16 Make
sure you don’t take things for granted and go slack in working for the common
good; share what you have with others. God takes particular pleasure in acts of
worship—a different kind of “sacrifice”—that take place in kitchen and
workplace and on the streets.
Therefore, I guess my thoughts today are; that I too go through the things that churn and cause inner turmoil and how I wish no one had to go through. Nevertheless, for those especially dare to me. I pray they learn to let go of self and trust in the Lord. That they realize even though the waves, storms and uncertainty will always come. With the sometimes waves. The peace of God and the blessings that come walking on the lighted path. Will be enough to sustain us no matter what.
If we can see Him, If we can believe in Him. No matter what, the world cannot have you and
all will be beyond all right.
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to
figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything
you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will
glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with
everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns
will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s
discipline; don’t sulk under his loving correction. It’s the child he
loves that God corrects; a father’s delight is behind all this.
------------
Life comes full cycle but has a funny sense of underlying humor. You spend your life trying to survive out on your own at the hands of the world. Making it through evil at others hands, guns put to your head, broken and battered pieces. Do everything you can to dare to be different always on your own.
When you have your own family you do everything ten fold to make sure you are always there giving what you think would make a difference to give them the opportunity to break all the cycles.
In the end really only portions of it matter. No matter what you do; God's plan is what ultimately takes place. The unfortunate thing is if a soul does not know God; not know of them but truly know them. You are left to watch from the outside trying to save those you care about; who can only be saved by the Lord above.
There is nothing in this world that can make anyone believe. Believe they are worth more, Believe they matter, Believe in a true relationship with God is what will change everything of this world.
It does not matter as a parent, friend, significant other, child of God what you say or do; or how much it hurts or does not. We cannot save those who do not want to be saved. We can only fight the best we can and continue nonstop prayers. God will send HIS angels of mercy and grace that will get through to those you love and care about.
--------------
03/18/2019
Thank you Father another new day
Thank you for the your promise of
all things through you
Thank you for the ability to hope
and dream.
Forgive me Father for not all
things I say or do that are pleasing or acceptable to you.
May I never cause harm or injury to
anyone or his or her spirit, with any anything I may do or get caught up in.
May your will always prevail and be done in and through my life; and my house serve you
You know my heart Father God; you
know all things about me. Please guide
me as I absolutely will make a mess of myself without you.
Lord I know I ask for much especially when I stumble often with trusting you. I cannot do this life on my own. I know this. I need you, as I will never get it right without you. Even at times, I am strong in trusting you; I still do not.
Lord; all that I am, all that I have belongs to you. That includes my children and grandchildren. Please guide and protect them as the enemy and all the false quick fix artists of this world are real and at the door. When they cannot get to me; they are making their ways to those I care about.
Thank you for this journey.
Please here my hearts prayers for
all I am connected. Thank you for
everything you are Jesus!
In Your Mighty Precious name; may
all the Glory be Yours God! Amen
Psalm 84:12 New International Version (NIV) 12 Lord Almighty,
blessed is the one who trusts in you.
blessed is the one who trusts in you.
1 Corinthians 6:19 New International Version (NIV)
19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit,
who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
Jeremiah 17:7 New International Version (NIV)
7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
whose confidence is in him.
Matthew 6:34 New International Version (NIV)
34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry
about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
---------------------------------------03/17/2019
Thank you Father for this day
Thank you for today’s message and things to never
forget.
Lens
When looking through the Lens of life.
How do you look at rules and consequences in your
life?
Do you bend them just a little to meet your personal
needs and gain?
How do you see Sin?
What do you consider Sin?
How do you think times have changed when Sin takes
place, and how we deal with it?
Not looking at today’s society but right here and now 2019. Looking at our own personal life and all
that transpires.
Geneses 2:15-17
God defines the rules and clearly
speaks to Adam what will happen if Adam defies His rule of have anything you
want but do not eat from the Tree Of Knowledge.
This was long before Eve came this command was given. It was clearly defined that the Garden of
Eden was something of comfort given to Adam to live and use; but never did it
belong to Adam to make any choice he felt like. God’s Lens was perfectly clear.
So the story of the Garden of Eden transpired and
later after Eve was created for Adam.
Eve may have been convinced to eat that apple from the tree of Life but where was Adam during all this. How do we know he even told her the seriousness of what might happen.
Yet like today even back then; Adam started pointing fingers
and justifying the sin that took place when they had perfect harmony and all
they could have wanted. Genesis 3:6-
tells the story.
It was only the beginning. If you go back to Genesis 4 the story of Cain
and Able shows how now the land was cursed because of Adam and Eve and now
people had no regard what they did when it became sinful and it became even
more hateful and aggressive and murder of one’s own brother took place.
Yet it is clearly stated we should treat all sin as an
enemy. Why because in the end no
matter what the sin we lose everything once we cross that line.
Sin always cost more than we can afford to pay and absolutely
more than we are willing to give.
Yet; we are somehow blindsided and think consequences
of the choices we make, well somehow we are exempt. Somehow a bad thought, a hateful action, a
little white lie, a secret, a hurt
towards someone else or even a grape as we are walking through the produce
stand at the market; that we pop in our mouths and don’t pay for.
Sin is Sin. It does not have a specific gender, color or
choice who it attaches itself to destroy.
(James 1:14-, Romans 12:9, and James 4:8- ) tell more of the story how
so many have been caught up and God’s direction prior. Knowing this; yet people think only
certain types of people or personalities sin.
Wrong, even the best of the best; holiest of holy have come down hard
from sin.
Everyone has to purpose to live with a moral sound
standing in life. And know yes the
choices we make will impact many.
Thankfully in Romans 3:23-25 and 2Corinthians God clearly accepts our
redemption when we change our ways, die to ourselves and our fleshly wants or
desires. Purposing to live for what
Christ died for in harmony of obedience love and mercy.
Romans 3:23-25 New International Version (NIV)
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and
all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by
Christ Jesus. 25 God
presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement,[a] through the shedding of his blood—to
be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in
his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished—
2 Corinthians 5:21 New International Version (NIV)
21 God made him who had no sin to be sin[a] for us, so that in him we might become
the righteousness of God.
In Jesus
Calling (Enjoying Peace in His Presence)
It reminds us that no matter what we are thinking,
doing or going through. God is always
with us. He knows the complexities of
this life far better than we can understand.
He is a forgiving loving God that will never leave
us; He gave His life so we could live and have eternity.
Confess and confide in Him especially when you feel
the world upon your shoulders and no one else understands. The Prince of Peace wants us to be
overflowing with love and overflow into the lives of others.
Yet we struggle to believe any of that. Or sometimes don’t even think twice while we
chase what the world has to offer.
Everything in this world is temporary; while we are here we should do everything we
possibly can to show love and harmony.
It is hard; especially when we have been scorned or broken really badly. The scars just don’t disappear. And so many are out there quickly for their
own misdeeds ready to use up those who are kind.
It makes it difficult. But know; we do not have to put ourselves in
harms way. We do not have to save the
world. Or try! One small gesture; One
kind word;. One action or even one smile.
It starts with
us to pay kindness forward. Loyalty,
to God as he will never forsake you.
Believe He is real; believe He loves you beyond anything you will ever
know. Respect, the You that you were blessed to be. It’s
okay to have things of this world; it’s okay to not want to be without that
life time partner or even the opposite if you want to be alone. It’s okay to want.
Just know why you do; when you do something and always
be ready to own up to the consequences that come from every choice you
make. Be you for you not anyone else
in this world; and never allow anyone to take who you are and turn into
anything else.
Anyway my soapbox for today - Thanks for reading
Psalm
139:1-4 New International Version (NIV) For the director of music. Of
David. A psalm.
1 You
have searched me, Lord,
and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
2 Corinthians 1:21-22 New International Version (NIV)
21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in
Christ. He anointed us, 22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his
Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
Joshua 1:5 New International Version (NIV)
5 No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your
life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor
forsake you.
---------------------------03/16/2019
Lord
Thank you for your kindness
Thank you for your reminders
Thank you for when I am feeling this world so heavy and I
cannot breathe and so much makes no sense
You remind me long before I even knew who Jesus really was. It was you that put a bible in front of me
and let me read the Psalms over and over again. Never understanding any of what I was
reading. Yet, this morning as I was
called back; you reminded me I was chosen.
Lord
Thank you for reminding me of my worth and need in this world;
even when it is so much darker today than far before.
Thank you for these battles within
May I never grow numb, may I never lose faith in you, and
may my heart never harden.
So easily from habit; I want to just lock myself away on
those waves that the world seems too much. That reality seems cold and alone
May I always remember, this life is not about me, may I
accept the blessings you put in front of me and never let what is not derail
who you want me to be
May any of my words only serve as the door of hope in humility
humanity so desperately needs to gain. Please
show me the lighted path to reflect to you Jesus.
Forgive me for any I have offended; protect me and my
household from all who are not of you.
May I never forget to
laugh and reflect your peace and glory; no matter what.
Psalm 5[a]
For the director of music. For pipes. A psalm of David.
1 Listen to my words, Lord,
consider my lament.
2 Hear my cry for help,
my King and my God,
for to you I pray.
consider my lament.
2 Hear my cry for help,
my King and my God,
for to you I pray.
3 In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly.
4 For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness;
with you, evil people are not welcome.
5 The arrogant cannot stand
in your presence.
You hate all who do wrong;
6 you destroy those who tell lies.
The bloodthirsty and deceitful
you, Lord, detest.
7 But I, by your great love,
can come into your house;
in reverence I bow down
toward your holy temple.
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly.
4 For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness;
with you, evil people are not welcome.
5 The arrogant cannot stand
in your presence.
You hate all who do wrong;
6 you destroy those who tell lies.
The bloodthirsty and deceitful
you, Lord, detest.
7 But I, by your great love,
can come into your house;
in reverence I bow down
toward your holy temple.
8 Lead me, Lord, in your righteousness
because of my enemies—
make your way straight before me.
9 Not a word from their mouth can be trusted;
their heart is filled with malice.
Their throat is an open grave;
with their tongues they tell lies.
10 Declare them guilty, O God!
Let their intrigues be their downfall.
Banish them for their many sins,
for they have rebelled against you.
11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may rejoice in you.
because of my enemies—
make your way straight before me.
9 Not a word from their mouth can be trusted;
their heart is filled with malice.
Their throat is an open grave;
with their tongues they tell lies.
10 Declare them guilty, O God!
Let their intrigues be their downfall.
Banish them for their many sins,
for they have rebelled against you.
11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may rejoice in you.
12 Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous;
you surround them with your favor as with a shield.
you surround them with your favor as with a shield.
-------------------
3/15/2019
Despite the cacophony and chaos of this world; God’s peace is more
real than most care to know.
We seem to want to not deal with what takes work or effort in obedience
leading to eternal harmony; but rather take the easy way out; either just
say nothing, do nothing at all. Or
go with the flow.
At what point do we stand up for what is moral, loving, lasting?
At what point do we stop caring what the world thinks and live for
what Christ died for?
What do we do when we are trying so desperately to listen and
follow the voice and light of God?
What do we do when we are trying so desperately to survive and we
do not have that relationship with God?
It is so hard to know and capture the peace of God having a
relationship with Jesus. I cannot
imagine any longer in today’s world what it is like without Him.
I know what my life was long before my personal walk and
relationship with Jesus. Before I fell in what is real Agape love. Before I became to what most consider a freak. So yes if loving and having Jesus in me. Please label me a Jesus Freak.
I choose to believe and hold on tight to what I have now or any day
over what once was.
Even with my best laid plans, or desires are always churning in my mind. I do okay not knowing what tomorrow will really bring.
The struggles and deep desires of my heart and soul will always be
there internally screaming loudly for God to hear.
If they come true; I am more blessed than anything I have ever been given. If they are not; I choose to believe this is how it is supposed to be. I will continue to try and make the best of what I am given to work with. Until my time is up on this earth; what will be; will be.
If they come true; I am more blessed than anything I have ever been given. If they are not; I choose to believe this is how it is supposed to be. I will continue to try and make the best of what I am given to work with. Until my time is up on this earth; what will be; will be.
I never chose my path in my earlier days, I just kept going; I chose to walk with Christ which is the best decision I have ever made in this life. And although I am far from perfect I am blessed.
I deserve nothing; so if the God of all creation chooses to bless
me with things I long for. I am truly
beyond blessed. Until then my fate,
my future is what the Lord allows.
Many will never get that; but many will. No one will ever really know me like the Prince of Peace. No one will ever know all I have lived through or in. No one will ever know any of the hurts, habits, hang ups as Jesus does. No one will ever know and forgive and love me. As the maker of all the universe or His son Jesus Christ.
If I am wrong in the path I have chosen; what do I have to lose? An obedient clean moral peaceful life here on this earth. If there is truly no ever after as some may believe. Than what I have right now. That which brings me peace. Well I will take it. If I am right; than this love and peace I feel even in the midst of all chaos. Well than the streets of gold filled with beauty laughter and so much love. Harmony. Then I cannot wait to get there.
Even on my heaviest days, where my human side can barely get up much less push through doing projects or staying busy serving others.
I choose Jesus! What is truth, what is real, what is unconditional!
If I think of what I want in the world; I will never be enough of anything to meet that lasting desire.
Many will never get that; but many will. No one will ever really know me like the Prince of Peace. No one will ever know all I have lived through or in. No one will ever know any of the hurts, habits, hang ups as Jesus does. No one will ever know and forgive and love me. As the maker of all the universe or His son Jesus Christ.
If I am wrong in the path I have chosen; what do I have to lose? An obedient clean moral peaceful life here on this earth. If there is truly no ever after as some may believe. Than what I have right now. That which brings me peace. Well I will take it. If I am right; than this love and peace I feel even in the midst of all chaos. Well than the streets of gold filled with beauty laughter and so much love. Harmony. Then I cannot wait to get there.
Even on my heaviest days, where my human side can barely get up much less push through doing projects or staying busy serving others.
I choose Jesus! What is truth, what is real, what is unconditional!
If I think of what I want in the world; I will never be enough of anything to meet that lasting desire.
Zephaniah
3:17 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
17 “The Lord your God is
in your midst,
A [a]victorious warrior.
He will exult over you with joy,
He will [b]be quiet in His love,
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.
A [a]victorious warrior.
He will exult over you with joy,
He will [b]be quiet in His love,
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.
Matthew 7:7 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
7 “[a]Ask, and it will be given to you; [b]seek, and you will find; [c]knock, and it will be opened to you.
Dear Lord as we come together in unity in love. May Your will be done for all those who truly believe and want you in their lives.
Lord please hear the words to overcome the enemy written so long ago. May all that is evil in this nation this world. Be crushed under your great name. Please comfort all those who have suffered tragedy by the evil attacks once again this time on humanity in New Zealand.
"I pray to you O Lord, in the time of Your favor, in Your great love, O God, answer me with Your sure salvation. Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; deliver me from those who hate me, from the deep waters. Do not let the floodwaters engulf me in the depths swallow me up or pit close its mouth over me. Answer me, O Lord, out of the goodness of Your love; in Your great mercy turn to me. Do not hide Your face from Your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in trouble." (Psalm 69:13-17 NIV) Lord Please hear this Psalm as a prayer for our nation.
We need You; we need Your goodness. As Your children Father, please show us the way to shine and be Your light and Your will. Drown out all that is dark and evil Lord. This nation needs You, Your healing Your mercy and grace. We need to know how to see through Your eyes, feel as you feel and Lord Love as you Loved us. I need all these things Lord.
In Jesus precious name. Please be with us and show us the way.
Please guide and protect your peace makers, your children, your messengers of hope. Please heal all those caught in the crossfire of good and evil.
Amen
Feeling so overwhelmed in this world; like some things
are just pure lies.
Leaving me feeling second Class; second best and I do
not know even sure why.
It is clearly time to clear my spirit; as this world
is so unknown
Thought I was there, no longer a baby in Christ, but
so spiritually grown.
But the struggle is so real; struggling with faith;
struggling with all that is and is not going on in this human race.
I don’t know what to believe anymore; so much evil so
much lies.
Even the littlest thing now triggers sadness and so
much uncertainty; Why?
Trying so hard to shake it off, praying thanks you get
through each day, you past the worlds test.
What, why, who and when. The
cycle churns, no matter how hard you try over and over again.
I know who I am, a chosen one of the Most High.
So why after all this time must these feelings awake,
any of this transpire?
What have I done, staying dedicated, trusting and
always trying to help everyone; with nothing but praise I am allowed from the
Good Lord above.
I wish I could scream; I wish I could go. I wish I could really have that Agape love.
Shake it off I wish I could.
Beyond me, beyond space and time; when you want
something so badly,
It’s not a challenge, not like a goal. It’s
a love burning deep down in my soul.
Left to live with only doubt; I am not sure I will
ever really get to know.
I do not want to lie; I do not want to regret
Any given thought; the tears stream down; knowing it
is not my time ever or is it yet?
The turmoil takes over churning; wondering what the
hell is wrong with me in this blessed life.
Then over whelmed; wondering and never understanding
why all this strife.
My Sweet Soul King; Save me from myself.
What have I done so wrong Jesus; Left in this constant
circle of demise.
Please stop the dreams; save me from all the stupid
things I think or have not done yet.
Save me Jesus; for I have died to self long ago,
faithfully living for you.
Please save
me during these times so strongly; I do not know what to do.
------- -------
3/14/2019
Thank you Lord for the
blessings of this new day! That of which you allowed me to get up, that
you allowed me to feel love so early and often each day, That for which
is to come.
Thank you for the
words and reminders that amazingly align with thoughts and conversations of the
blessings when we know we can control our needs, our self control our response
to anything given or taken or just waiting for in this world.
You have given all of
us Jesus freedom of choice and freedom of will. How we exercise that truly depends on our
own actions.
There is not enough
thanks or gratitude to know how blessed I am you allowed me strong will and
knowledge and not a mind that can’t!
Please Lord never allows
me to not absorb what only you can pour into me. May I always hold tightly only to your will. My house will serve the Lord, if not through
me but all who enter will directly be fed and grow in your light.
For I surrender to you
Yahweh; no matter what occurs in this life my strength and courage only comes
from you.
Please hear the
prayers, needs and praise of all I am connected. Please guide and protect the children. Heal those who are suffering Father. In Jesus mighty name, be with us all.
Today's
verse 2 Peter 1:5 AMP amplified
For this very reason, applying your diligence [to the
divine promises, make every effort] in [exercising] your faith to, develop
moral excellence, and in moral excellence, knowledge (insight, understanding),
and in your knowledge, self-control, and
in your self-control, steadfastness, and
in your steadfastness, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly affection, and in your brotherly affection, [develop
Christian] love [that is, learn to unselfishly seek the best for others and to
do things for their benefit]. For as these qualities
are yours and are increasing [in you as you grow toward spiritual maturity],
they will keep you from being useless and unproductive in regard to the true
knowledge and greater understanding of
our Lord Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 3:18 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a
mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from
glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.
Ephesians 3:17-19 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in
love, 18 may
be able to comprehend with all the [a]saints what is the breadth and length
and height and depth, 19 and
to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up
to all the fullness of God.
Psalm 46:10 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
10 “[a]Cease
striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the [b]nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
I will be exalted among the [b]nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
------
3/13/2019
As I wake
up often through the night; then drag
first thing when I cannot push that just five more minutes doze button. I try to never forget to be thankful before
my feet hit the floor on any given day.
Oh I am
far from perfect in every way. There
are days I jump up on a mission like it matters and a couple hours later find me
asking forgiveness; for not acknowledging the one who gives me the air I
breathe my firsts.
Sometimes
I find myself so willing to help and do for others in this world or even things
just for me. I forget to give all my
firsts to our Lord and Savior.
I am
surely not the only soul who does this.
Lord knows over time I have become 200% better from the first days in my
walk with Christ. But my human side
still gets lost and forgetful when it comes to priorities.
I know I
do; but I am assuming so many of us are so caught up in what is happening right
around us, right now we forget to acknowledge Truth and the fact. None of us would be here period; if it were
not for Jesus Christ. Or the fact that
our God of all the heavens and all creation with one breath created all things
can also take away.
We are all
here on loan. So being thankful, all
the time no matter what. Is the least
we can do for all we are given.
There may
be things you just don’t feel thankful for.
I get it; my entire life has been a bed of thorns not roses. But my God has carried me through from some
of the darkest and unknown times than I can ever imagine. From a very young age he has sustained
me. Even when I did not truly build a
relationship with Him until into my 30’s.
My
thoughts this morning; none of us are perfect.
All of us have had stuff done to us or we did to others. All of us can shine and give thanks. For the promise of new hope and new
days. As yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is never promised.
So don’t stop
dreaming; shine your little spec of light wherever you are, whatever you are
in to. Know you are worth more than anything this world can give or
take from you. Shine on, be thankful in
all things.
John 16:22
Amplified Bible (AMP)
22 So for now you are in grief; but I
will see you again, and [then] your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take
away from you your [great] joy.
In a world full of elements and battles. Sometimes all we can do is pray and dream when we know who we belong to.
Sometimes our dreams are the only peace we can receive unless our dreams come true. When that happens; hold on loosely and love fiercely while thanking God the entire way. Sometimes even the dreams as crazy as it sounds become so real, you torment yourself forgetting to breathe, forgetting who is in charge. Until you wake up and know; no matter what You are blessed. Just hold on and never stop praying.
---------------- Love Thoughts in the Land of Milk and Honey -----
In the promise, land that of milk and honey
Where obedience and pure love flows for the maker of all the
heavens and earth; the Jesus only God knows. Abundantly forgiving where only mercy and
grace grow.
Where the streets are filled, with lavender, roses and made of gold.
Will it be there, I unify with my dearest of all my sweet soul.
Imagining serving in pure magic with never needed words. No interference, no expectations purity and service for this
soulmate so bold.
I do the best I can remaining obedient. As today is here, tomorrow not promised. With reality, never knowing really what will be next; holding on to all I have, are my dreams.
Crazy, strange its all good in my world you see. I am sure you are not perfect, so never judge what is not seen. For now, leaving me forever connected, forever wondering, what will be.
As I wait for God’s promise; my one true Sweet Soul King. Now, maybe later; maybe never it will be. Maybe in this world’s time, maybe on the other side of things.
I will never understand, why our God of all, should had ever awaken and
allow the minds lens to draw to him. I will never really know until it happens, if it will be ever more than my imagination.
All I do know is; it will never be wrong. For all this is far more that any talent, writing, singing, dancing to anyone's song.
Therefore, now through eternity all I can do is acknowledge the God I belong.
All I do know is; it will never be wrong. For all this is far more that any talent, writing, singing, dancing to anyone's song.
Therefore, now through eternity all I can do is acknowledge the God I belong.
-----------------
3/12/2019
In the world where we
step in and out of the truth and reality at any given moment.. Always make sure you know who has your back
into the future. ✝️🙌🏻🙏🏻
Sometimes you don’t
even know you are there until the trip is over.
I am beyond thankful JC is with me on this journey through the world as
we know it.
Even in the slights
flicker of light with God. Far outweighs
the darkest moments alone in this world.
Faith, Hope and believing in Christ are all worth eternal peace and love
you will get from nowhere else.
John 14:1 Amplified Bible (AMP) Jesus Comforts His Disciples
14 “Do not let your heart be troubled (afraid, cowardly). Believe [confidently] in God and trust
in Him, [have faith, hold on
to it, rely on it, keep going and] believe also in Me.
Psalm 27:14 Amplified Bible (AMP)
14
Wait for and confidently expect the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord.
Wait for and confidently expect the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord.
Hebrews
6:18-20 Amplified Bible (AMP)
18 so that by two unchangeable things
[His promise and His oath] in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who
have fled [to Him] for refuge would have strong encouragement and
indwelling strength to hold tightly to the hope set before us. 19 This
hope [this confident assurance] we have as an anchor of the soul [it cannot
slip and it cannot break down under whatever pressure bears upon it]—a safe and
steadfast hope that enters within the veil [of the heavenly temple, that most
Holy Place in which the very presence of God dwells], 20 where
Jesus has entered [in advance] as a forerunner for us, having become a High
Priest forever according to the order of [a]Melchizedek.
----------
1 Peter 2 Amplified
Bible (AMP)
As
Newborn Babes
2 So put aside every trace of malice
and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander and hateful
speech; 2 like newborn babies [you should] long for the
pure milk of the word, so that by it you may be nurtured and grow in
respect to salvation [its ultimate fulfillment], 3 if in
fact you have [already] tasted [a]the goodness and gracious
kindness of the Lord.
As
Living Stones
4 Come to Him [the risen Lord] as to
a living Stone which men rejected and threw away, but which is choice
and precious in the sight of God. 5 You [believers],
like living stones, are [b]being built up into a spiritual house
for a holy and dedicated priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices [that
are] acceptable and pleasing to God through Jesus Christ. 6 For
this is contained in Scripture:
“Behold, I am laying in Zion
a chosen stone, a precious (honored) Cornerstone,
And he who believes in Him [whoever adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Him] will never be disappointed [in his expectations].”
And he who believes in Him [whoever adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Him] will never be disappointed [in his expectations].”
7 This
precious value, then, is for you who believe [in Him as God’s only Son—the
Source of salvation]; but for those who disbelieve,
“The [very] stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief Cornerstone,”
Has become the chief Cornerstone,”
8 and,
“A stone of stumbling and a rock of offense”;
for they stumble because they disobey the word [of God], and to
this they [who reject Him as Savior] were also appointed.
9 But you
are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a consecrated nation, a
[special] people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim
the excellencies [the wonderful deeds and virtues and perfections] of Him who
called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. 10 Once
you were not a people [at all],
but now you are God’s people; once
you had not received mercy, but now
you have received mercy.
11 Beloved,
I urge you as aliens and strangers [in this world] to abstain from the sensual
urges [those dishonorable desires] that wage war against the soul. 12 Keep
your behavior excellent among the [unsaved] Gentiles [conduct yourself
honorably, with graciousness and integrity], so that [c]for whatever
reason they may slander you as evildoers, yet by observing your good deeds they
may [instead come to] glorify God [d]in the day of
visitation [when He looks upon them with mercy].
Honor
Authority
13 Submit yourselves to [the
authority of] every human institution for the sake of the Lord [to honor His
name], whether it is to a king as one in a position of power, 14 or
to governors as sent by him to bring punishment to those who do wrong, and to
praise and encourage those who do right. 15 For
it is the will of God that by doing right you may silence (muzzle, gag) the
[culpable] ignorance and irresponsible criticisms of foolish people. 16 Live
as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover or pretext for
evil, but [use it and live] as bond-servants of God. 17 Show
respect for all people [treat them honorably], love the brotherhood [of
believers], fear God, honor the king.
18 [e]Servants, be submissive to your masters with all [proper] respect,
not only to those who are good and kind, but also to those who are
unreasonable. 19 For this finds favor, if a
person endures the sorrow of suffering unjustly because of an [f]awareness of [the will of] God. 20 After
all, what kind of credit is there if, when you do wrong and are punished for
it, you endure it patiently? But if when you do what is right and patiently
bear [undeserved] suffering, this finds favor with God.
Christ
Is Our Example
21 For [as a believer] you have been
called for this purpose, since Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example,
so that you may follow in His footsteps. 22 He committed no sin, nor was deceit ever found
in His mouth. 23 While being reviled and
insulted, He did not revile or insult in return; while suffering, He
made no threats [of vengeance], but kept entrusting Himself to Him who
judges fairly. 24 He personally carried our sins in His
body on the [g]cross [willingly offering Himself on
it, as on an altar of sacrifice], so that we might die to sin [becoming immune
from the penalty and power of sin] and live for righteousness; for by His
wounds you [who believe] have been [h]healed. 25 For
you were continually wandering like [so many] sheep, but now you have come back
to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.
03/11/2019
Father as I am humbly grateful for another new day. I ask you guide my footsteps and me and guard my words. So often, I can just say what I feel; even though I know, it sets me up in situations I should have never gone or hurts those I would never do anything to harm. May I approach everything in humility? May I never forget where I came from, no matter where I am or end up. As I know, I am far beyond blessed.
This life should not be about what we have or do not have. Yet we know Jesus, if we had no cares it would be far worse off than that of which it is today where good intentions verse evil deeds take place.
Be it personal; be it work, be it for you. Your will be done in my life and all I am connected.
Loyalty for all we are connected; Respect for ourselves, and all we engage in; Moral values above all things towards humanity. Guide us Lord; for your word talks so often about faith and believing; yet this world has so much darkness and pain far too often.
How anyone truly believe in you without feeling your presence and seeing you alive and working.
Even though I believe, I still walk in situations with doubt on any given day or situation. How Father do, we shine for those who need you so desperately.
We can dream all day long as it does motivate us Jesus; but what is real is what will be everlasting.
Let everything of you Lord be real now through eternity.
I ask you show me the way; show my family the way, my friends and loved one's and all I am connected.
2 Corinthians 5:7 Amplified Bible (AMP)
7 for we walk by faith, not by sight [living our lives in a manner consistent with our confident belief in God’s promises]—
Galatians 5:25 Amplified Bible (AMP)
25 If we [claim to] live by the [Holy] Spirit, we must also walk by the Spirit [with personal integrity, godly character, and moral courage—our conduct empowered by the Holy Spirit].
--------------Thankful for this day; just continually reminded my will gets broke down daily. When humility blocks out all good intention choices.
There is not much I can do about others and their choices. Barely able to do anything about the choices I make. There is not much I can do about all things out of my control. I can only be thankful for the moments in time of my walk in this world. Where I am blessed with loving kind hearted people.
Do I get sad when things change; always. But no matter what this life throws, no matter what I want from the world or I think the world can give me. The one sure thing is always be is I am chosen by a God bigger than any heart hurts or human let downs that could ever be imagined.
I know this; I have already survived through many trials in this world when I walked without God for many years. I have been pulled up out and shown what true blessings are when walking with Jesus inside.
So as I remind myself of some of the layers I am giving back to this world that I just don't want to think about. I am so very thankful all good, bad, happy or sad. Very lonely or just needing my space. I could never survive without my Jesus in this place.
--------------
03/10/2019
Thank you Father
Thank you, for
all the unspoken prayers you hear.
Those of mine and
of all who believe and call out to you. Thank you for all you took going
to and hanging on that cross.
May we your
children here in humanity; those close to you those who have not met you.
May we all never forget the gift of life you sacrificed and gave to all of us?
Many do not
understand this faith Father, this relationship. Even those that are near
and dear to me. Please open their eyes, their hearts allowing them blessings,
and to see the loving kindness that shines brighter than anything does this
world can bring?
Bring a revival
Father; let the earth sing in unison in praise and blessings of and from
you.
Until that day,
Father please guide us, who wish to believe and live for all you gave.
May we see miracles from prayer come to life here so more will get it?
Please put your
hedge of protection around all your children, but especially those in the
mission field, wrapping your loving arms around us Lord.
Please protect our brothers and sisters serving this country; along with all our first responders.
Your will be done
in all things Jesus. For me, all that I serve, all that I come to know.
Thank you for
this day, thank you for the lessons of this walk, thank you for never
letting go of me.
All that I am,
all that I will ever be, all that I have; belongs to you Father. Please
give me strength for whatever comes next in my walk, in my family in my coming
days.
In Jesus name.
May all we do to worship you on this day and every day be perfect and
pleasing to only you?
Amen
1 Peter 1:3-4 Amplified Bible (AMP)
3 Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant and boundless mercy has caused us to be born again [that is, to be reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, and set apart for His purpose] to an ever-living hope and confident assurance through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 [born anew] into an inheritance which is imperishable [beyond the reach of change] and undefiled and unfading, reserved in heaven for you,
Psalm 37:23-24 Amplified Bible (AMP)
23
The steps of a [good and righteous] man are directed and established by the Lord,
And He delights in his way [and blesses his path].
24
When he falls, he will not be hurled down,
Because the Lord is the One who holds his hand and sustains him.
The steps of a [good and righteous] man are directed and established by the Lord,
And He delights in his way [and blesses his path].
24
When he falls, he will not be hurled down,
Because the Lord is the One who holds his hand and sustains him.
Psalm 18:30 Amplified Bible (AMP)
30
As for God, His way is [a]blameless.
The word of the Lord is tested [it is perfect, it is faultless];
He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.
As for God, His way is [a]blameless.
The word of the Lord is tested [it is perfect, it is faultless];
He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.
---------------------
03/09/2019
As I look back at a memory photo that popped up this morning, of my lifeline and me. My two children that kept me working for the tomorrows.
I was so determined to make a life for them. I was never much for doing what everyone else did because. Sure, I wanted things for me, nice things and yes I dreamt of that happy home for the kids with the white picket fence.
But I learned earlier in life than I should have. If you depend on what others give, you or what you need to take from others. That happy ever after does not exist.
Relationships are hard and it takes more than just one individual to make it work when things are not going as planned. Sometimes even those filled with Jesus have relationships fall apart. Not intently, but somehow someway things that started out with a beautiful planned vision of the heart. Just are overwhelmed and destroyed when pieces of the world creep in over time.
Just imagine for those like myself at the time of trying to have that happy house and white picket fence. That did not walk daily with God. Even then, He showed me how to put up my own fence.
It is funny to me; how my morning reading and memories spark and flow together with some of God’s word and message. My story isn't pretty but I can say; if I had any regrets in this life; it would be that I did not have the personal relationship with Jesus Christ sooner than when I finally did start my walk.
I have always believed in God, and surrounded by the Catholic faith well. I knew of a God but just never really got to know Him until I became an immersed believer.
None of that mattered growing up with or without my walk; I always knew I dared to be more than what someone could control for their own personal gain. I always dared to take the work harder and try to get smarter road than believing I could really make a difference for others or myself such as my children. By taking the world’s way. Using my mind oh, it is a tiring feat. In addition, really a blessing I had a mind to use.
I do not condemn or condone anyone for what they do to make their life happen; or that of any
Parents doing what they must. To make things work for their families.
That will never be my place; unless they are putting their families their children in harm’s way for their own personal gain. Then yes I am as guilty as the next when it comes to God's judgement. Because I will never agree that, there is an excuse for not protecting your children. And yes, I would be the first to say line them up and let justice be served.
Just as I will never get how humanity can create life and discard it all in the same breath. I am talking how can you walk away or harm what comes from your blood. So much in the news, so much hidden. Somethings I will never understand. What I do know is; I would not be who I am today, I am sure; if I had a stable family growing up. But I will never blame my choices on life on what was given or not given by the biological parents that spawned me.
Do not get me wrong; my mother was married at 15 had my sister at 16, my brother at 18 and me at 20.
Unfortunately, even back then nothing lasted forever. Nothing but a constant need to find out who I really was. That well that is for a different day.
I can only say I would not be who I am today without all the life experiences I was allowed to make it through. For sure, the one thing will remain the same. Will be how I will always try and know my role in this world. I may not get it right in my thought process, I may play it safe, I may be blessed or I may lose big. But I will always try to know who I am, and never really know those that are put in my path. History has shown you can know someone all your life and never really know the true them until you feel the wrath of what they do. Or you may fall in love with a dream creating the sweetest soul and love ever. Yet never having the ability to really meet, know or touch them.
Who am I? I am a daughter, mother, grandmother now, sister, aunt, friend, best friend, confidant, professional, graduate, broken, healed, dreamer; believer. Yet; the most important role I will always hold is the blessing of being a daughter of the most high our Lord and Savior.
I believe, in He who holds all the power all the answers that can make or break anything at any time.
Yet will never control you. He will never purposely harm you, never lie to you; He Jesus, God will never want more then what is good and pure..
I will never be a theologian and can only tell you my blessings from my history.
But what I do know, Jesus Christ did not suffer and die on that cross so we could take advantage of one another for our own personal gains. He would never want us to use up and abuse our trust, our relationships or anything we have. Just to have or be. The greatest love story of all times is that of what God sacrificed. His only Son; so we could live.
So no matter what we deeply desire, want or feel. No matter how we connect, no matter where we are. We are all worth far more than anything of this world is. We have a purpose to share and show God's love that he so generously showed us.
We are never to expect what is not ours, men or women should never believe that God blesses us with a partner that is married to someone else.
We should never expect someone else should give up what they have. We should always encourage them in every way to work through whatever it takes.
Where is this coming from you ask? Well, those who know me. Know a word, a song anything triggers writing in me. Those that know me for a lifetime. Know I never planned to be a strong single woman raising two beautiful children. Those of you who know me; know I tried in my time and wanted love and so badly wanted that love I never had growing up. That unconditional forever partner, lover, keeper love.
Those of you who know me, also know things do not always work out as we dream. That sometimes that knight in shining armor is just a demon filled self-centered soul that this world drives.
Therefore, I ended up for the safety and desire for children and myself to live. Just pressing onward. It is better to have loved and lost than to never love at all. I am blessed for the physical love, lust, and beautiful children I was given.
All before becoming to know what love really is. It was then so many years ago when I found true love in Jesus. I cannot explain it or describe it. I just know that if the good Lord wanted me to have a partner in this world, they would have to meet His standards. In the meantime even if it is till the end of my earthly days. I am a bride of Christ and so that shall remain.
I would like to say I did not choose this. But yes in a sense back in 1997 when I was at my wit's end and nothing else of the world was working. I did choose to walk forward and give my life back to Christ. It took time to shake off the world.
Please don't get me wrong; I still love to have fun and laugh. Nevertheless, one thing is for sure. As much as I crave my soulmate. I do not need anyone just to fill the gaps or sustain me.
If one thing is for sure; whatever the reason. God allowed me to become even if it is lonely at times.
A strong independent successful, kindhearted loving woman.
He has allowed me to choose as He does everyone. Wants from Needs. He has given me sight to know the world will not end because not many walk with the love of Christ in their souls. Those that do, are already promised to others.
Life happens and it is hard. The layers that built me into this are colorful, heart breaking somedays and others hysterical. However, one thing is for sure. “I am kept by the most high”. I am loved and in love by and with Jesus Christ. The light and hope that fills me daily; even on my saddest days or my brightest nights. As I know it, will always remind me how it is well in my soul.
I will never stop dreaming of love, I will never stop hoping for a lifetime companion in this world.
I will never stop wanting my Sweet Soul King, The dream that stayed deep within for what seemed to be a lifetime; suddenly changed my thoughts; invaded my dreams; somehow became very real after all this time seven months ago in Everything. Bittersweet dreams can be honorable peace that that will forever guard my soul. Where Kings and Queens rule, eliminating all personal gain. Shining the light it is okay to reveal the pain.
My Sweet Soul my King that will forever hold me in my dreams. Giving me hope and promise; protecting me from who I never want to be. At the mercy of those so carefree. Forever this dream is always with me in everything. Forever throughout God's eternity.
We all must dream, apart from what we can touch, know, as reality of this world is hard. So much harder than it needs to be. Where it always seems so unfair, than it should ever have to be.
For then even if only me; I will forever dream. As I know in reality; the only things that are true or to be. Only God knows; we will not know unless we wait and see.
Until then, we must make the best we are given, and remember to share what is not ours to begin with.
All that we have all that we will gain. All comes from the stripes and pain of Jesus Christ.
So forgive me Father if I have made some choices in this life making me insane. I will truly remain accountable. No one else is the blame.
I pray you will allow me the continued favor, life to feel the heat of this imaginary flame. The love only you know. Nothing else will ever do or be the same.
Bless all those, I have forgiven; Protect, heal and guide your will, your life in me you wish me to connect and be alive. Please bless all I connect and all those fighting for their lives.
Thank you Jesus for yesterday, today and all the tomorrows no matter how I smile or cry. Thank you for the opportunities only you give allowing me to be alive.
Never stop dreaming for in life sometimes that is all we will have. All we have to keep us walking in hope and God's promise. This world it’s not kind. Find what it is to not harden, and hold on. Even if it means dreaming is all that will ever be. I lifted my life up to the one that allowed me here on this earth. All I can do is dream, hope and pray.
2Galatians 5:22
Amplified Bible (AMP)2 But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
2 Corinthians 12:9 Amplified Bible (AMP)
9 but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.
1 John 4:12 Amplified Bible (AMP)
12 No one has seen God at any time. But if we love one another [with unselfish concern], God abides in us, and His love [the love that is His essence abides in us and] is completed and perfected in us.