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Date:
Monday December 20th
Meditation Opportunities coming from
Biblegateway.com The Daily Verse
Luke
2:1, 4-5 (NIV) New International Version
The Birth of Jesus
2 In those days Caesar
Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman
world.
Thought Movers, Motivations Touching to the Soul coming from
YouTube.com
TobyMac, Ledger -
The Elements (Neon Feather Remix/Audio)
I will trust in
you by Lauren Daigle
Good Grace (Live)
- Hillsong UNITED
Ever Be (Official
Lyric Video) - kalley | We Will Not Be Shaken
Thinking Out Loud – Journal Thoughts/Prayers / Mind Maze Overflow
Reminded
it is not the amount of people you have in your so-called corner that changes
often in life. It is the ones who are
there and the reason they are there. Those
that will always tell you when they need to and not direct any messages through
anyone else. Those that will love you
for you, you, no matter what your choices. Yes, even those that at times carry you more
than you can carry yourself and only want to see your wellbeing in the end. So, while you are out here doing life in this
hard cold world. Remember everyone is
going through something and there is much misery that just wants anyone’s
company that they can get attention from.
Good, bad, or indifferent.
Your choices
are your own. Just remember who you are!
Do not lose yourself chasing things to take you places that won’t last. That does not mean do not have a life or relationships. But it absolutely means you had better be aligning
what God has blessed deep within you for the future and best opportunities for
you because it is what you want and your ready to fight forward by hard work,
learning and most of all giving back.
It does
not matter what success you have or do not have. Find the selfless in you and share
knowledge, share time, share encouragement, share love just by caring even from
a distance.
Nothing
on this planet is really yours or mine anyway.
Everything we have is on loan.
And if we cannot do good things with the little things; we darn sure do
not deserve the big things.
That
goes for people and relationships as well.
We
cannot ignore and show up when it is convenient for ourselves and expect things
to be in our favor when we final realize we are doing that or in real need and
not just because we can.
It is
hard when we grow up in the fire. Not
everyone is that silver spoon or mommy and daddy at home that actually live and
love on the blessings they were given as well as anyone they connect.
Most
people have dysfunction in their family lines.
Most times especially now days
what was once normal has become dysfunction and all that holds no respect,
loyalty, or moral values is playing out to be what the new norm is supposed to
be.
Now I
am not perfect. And absolutely not
judging. However, I want the best for
all my family and friends, and I pray they are guided and protected using a
really bright light shining that moral compass as they walk, run, skip, dance
or even troll in life.
What I
do get upset about is when I watch relationships crumble or families constantly
struggle because they do not know how to get through it and love each other for
who they are and not what they do or didn’t do.
Even more so when people go off on another member be it friend, family
or any connection and they throw my name in the mix like they know what I am
thinking, saying or really why I do what I do.
Wanting
the best for all the young adults in this pandemic never to be normal again, I
think. Wishing hope and good vibes for
them all do great things. Yet watching
them fight through their own choices and others just speaking up a little too
late. So, they pull me into the mix
because I have always been there.
I can
assure you if I want to say something I will.
Unless you are a child and within my day-to-day reach and I can make a
difference.
I know
my faults and that I enabled my own children trying to make up for what I never
had. I know I have been beyond blessed
with children and grandchildren, and so many that call me mom just because.
Because
I love people for who they are and just because I continue to work diving in
deep and challenging a career and constantly giving, doing and being. I do not expect anyone to be me. But I do demand respect, and an occasional check
in to let me know you are still doing okay.
Again,
in this messed up, mixed up, jacked up world!
That seems to be harder and harder as the darkness overshadows so many
and they are fighting to just survive.
My
heart hurts right now for some of my family going through it. For a world that is fighting more and more
and taking other lives for all that is temporal all the while anything we know
or physically touch can be swept away in split seconds. Including our lovers, friends, spouses,
babies, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, friends, pets.
Just
like we, they never existed in the first place.
While
the single parent starving while working two jobs trying to be the best parent,
they can be fight all the elements. The
other parents passed out on the side of the road with a needle in their arms
and babies in the car seat behind them are forever destroyed.
As
that grandmother or grandfather works three and four jobs just to make sure
they have enough while they give to those they will never come to know, and evil
takes all the goodness they shined because of greed, gangs and things they will
never really know why but just do.
Where
are you now Jesus?!?
As I
have been just consumed taking on this new job myself and doing what I do and trying
to make sense. Perhaps these things come
to the top of the mind maze Siv this evening know today was 9 years ago where
my best friend and sister left this earth.
When we could raise hell and make fools of ourselves or just do family and
make amends and find our way forward and always know we could talk about
everything and anything. Thinking about my brother that big 6.plus dude
that just crumbled when she took her last breath and how he cursed and said how
he hated you God. And the years after
that almost killed him as well and now, he finally is coming back although the damage
has been done.
But we
all know who you are! Not just because
I have always been the wandering frontiers women that chase all that is good
and filled with promise, hope, and shines bright for anyone who needs to see how
to just put one foot in front of the other.
But because we all come to terms with the truth before we leave this
place. Prayerfully far in advance of
the time we go. And prayerfully willing
to give whatever is left back to you Jesus!
Yet we
know by the demons that haunt this land the numbers are fleeting that call upon
you Father.
Even I
although I believe deeply you are the very air in the lungs I have been
given. Still get caught up in what is
here and now and not the eternal aspect.
Running
weary for years and these hands, this mind.
You know all things Christ. The blank
pages out here are filled with so much of what is, and even more what will
be. Coming up on this season where we
are so commercialized and now even that has lost its meaning with so many
broken, broke, out of work, on the streets and God only knows what.
I
thought watching dear friends losing their children to drug overdose and addictions
or hearing about babies being taken and harmed was horrible. Yet knowing its 100 times worse in this vast
land that is crumbling within its infrastructure spiritually and humanely.
Jesus, shine bright for us please? Shine within
us and lead us to the father.
Purify
me Lord to let go of what is not meant to be; direct me through the flames and
allow me to never once miss what you call to be. Most importantly show me how to know the
difference. Show me how to shine for
others and shake off this discouragement of loneliness, brokenness, humility, hurting
and broken loved one’s and even my own fight to not go under some days.
I need
you more now today than ever before.
Nothing will ever change that; just sometimes I can’t breathe so I
cannot release it. No different than anyone
else clinging to those threads of who you are.
Take
us/me back Lord to where you had me at the sound of your name. Blocking out all that was surrounding with
so much noise and maybe even dangerous situations. Yet you were there, and I knew you are and
were the way and nothing could feed what only you consumed this soul with.
Restore
me in you Jesus and if gifts of life are to be connected along the way make it
so. If not show me where I need to
be. All that I have all that I am is
because of you. I can ask for healing
for all I know, I can ask for protection, I can ask for great things that make
others want, chatter, or even do bad things trying to get it.
Lord I
just want all the love that you are to give and to be given back.
These
pieces of me that poured out for years and years came back to life with ambitions
to finally get that manuscript out there and I know it will, as I waited so
long trying to figure out what the ending will be. Until that one day it was the pieces of me
that direct everything back to you that has no beginning and will never have an
end. You always were and eternally
will be.
So as
these up-and-coming moments called life are given keep me accountable Lord. As nothing will ever break and hurt as hard
and long as you did for someone like me to know who you are.
Because
of this no matter what could be, the truth is we cannot change what you have
blessed to ever be.
Through
all the memories of any love or loved one lost.
Through any pain that we just do not understand the purpose. Everything will always be alright as you hold
this universe and what will be will.
Please
Lord protect the children and all those young adults so vulnerable to what this
world has spinning.
Hear
the silent cries Jesus of those who are trying and just do not know where to
turn. Protect and heal our
choices. Call those you have chosen to
shine brighter now than ever before.
Including myself.
But if
you don’t; thank you for then, thank you for now. Thank you for what will be~
