================================================================================
Music pulled from: https://www.youtube.com/
and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from: https://www.biblegateway.com/
Unless noted otherwise and are free for
public consumption****
(NIV
-New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified
Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)
(Disclosure – I am grammatically
incorrect most any day these words flow as a release of this mind maze which
gives me my sanity not to impress the critics or English majors (said with much
love and respect)
================================================================================
Date: 01/25/2020 Saturday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/T86ND633BY0 “Mistakes” @ Unspoken
https://youtu.be/fiyYoe678yI “Broken Vessels -Amazing Grace” @ Hillsong Worship
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you, Jesus,
As I roll over finally pulling myself up out of bed; feeling what seems to be every broken piece that has ever been healed in this body. Sometimes it just happens that way; and I believe any pain that I can see and feel in clarity is directly leading me to you.
Thank you for this day given. No matter what our mistakes; no matter what brokenness you allow us on any given day to get past; leads us directly to you and your amazing grace.
I am nor ever will be in a place that I understand how some of your children are physically called out and put through the fires like that of a blacksmith’s craft; we are pounded; broken and feeling the heat of the fire from all we never wanted or thought we would be part of. Yet when we the product the swords of truth are finished. We are here left in places carefully placed knowing how sharp or dangerous the world really is; yet strategically placed for your light to continue shining.
I often think of the moments I found myself sliding down the pavement on the highway when thrown from that rolled van as a teenager. Or still see me walking out of the woods by myself after that ten-year-old little girl that the neighbors once showed how to get high so they could have their way. Thankful I rarely wake up fighting for breath or spend endless days and nights trying to mask or even figure out what happened during that time it all started.
That little girl entrusted and handed over to someone who all along knew what they would be doing. That gap that I just do not remember is finally okay not to know; what matters is I made it out the other side; and even through my entire adolescents and majority of my teen years fighting the world of evil learning how to grow up and fighting the demons using and numbing who I hated this being that you later sitting here today allowed me to still be. Washed cleaned and walk on the waters with you.
Stormy waters; beaten or broken from the inside out your love has come deeply within allowing me a connection I will never be worthy of; yet filled with abundant knowledge and love only you Jesus understand and give.
My faith still so of a child not knowing what I am doing yet knowing in you there and there is reason for all we are allowed to see or live through even if it breaks us to the core and we will never know the real truths as to why. At least not until the day you bring us home with you Jesus.
What I do know is from dust our flesh is formed and from dust we will return. Our souls in our new bodies will someday be next to you and your angel army. Some of us painfully for us will be there sooner while others in the here and now need so much help, hope and guidance.
Others of us will do their best with what they do know; what they are given to be all they can be for your light to help others to the path.
Perhaps I am a dreamer; but for all the darkness and pain in this world. I choose to own my journey and do my own best in finding what is good and lasting in purity and truth. Even if that does mean I do it alone and somedays think my body will drain completely from tears that fall.
Not for myself; I still struggle somedays thinking maybe I would have been better gone. But the tears for all those who never had a chance when those who are supposed to lead us put us directly into harms way. For those who think they got this; and are toying with Satan while he knows one way or the other, he will leave his mark; laughing in the shadows.
Sweet Jesus, if only we all would call out to you daily; minute by minute that you the Resurrected King will bring us all back to life.
Show us the way Lord to turn to you alone!
It does not mean we must stop having a life or enjoying the blessings of all that is temporary. But it gives us meaning and peace beyond all understanding.
Why you protected me from the gun put to my head when robbed working; pulled me from the swimming pool when I thought I was swimming under the influence being traded for a drug fix or being pulled me out; kept me alive when that van was rolling over and over; or just allowed me through all the pain and torment as a child and young adult from the hands of evil.
Perhaps I am strong; perhaps I am a fighter. Perhaps I will never really know why or when. But just know it is you that have never failed me. Even when I did not know you my God.
The stories of masking my own pain; always trying to leave this place; looking for someone to just love me and just be there for me. Finally accepting I will never be what I should be for anyone of this world. Later to realize I needed to be just for myself and who you made me alone. Fighting my way to not be like anyone else; fighting to make something of myself. Needing my own space. Not that of the shadows of what the world says I should be; or that of the family I come from or even anything I ever had experienced.
To be who you allow and guide me to be. Sometimes that is just the right here and right now. Knowing the true meaning what it is to be a no agenda friend and feel others pain. To still crave a love from the outside in that you have blessed me with from the inside out.
Thank you, Jesus, for this day and all those that have gotten me to where I am today. Thank you for the beautiful bittersweet journey along the way.
No matter what was; no matter what is. You choose me Father God! From a toddler found wandering in the middle of winter with no shoes, no coat; to a kid always excited to try something new saved from where I could have been tossed for garbage, to that young adult fighting and finding my way forward. To your child! Daughter of the most high king.
We are all given the blessings of freedom of choice; no matter what our parents, or other adults do or do not do for us. We all get to choose and once we make it through wrong choices we get to choose to continue or keep changing until we find your light alone sustains us.
It does not matter where we come from or what we have or where we can go. No One is exempt.
If we choose to play in Satan’s sandbox or think we can manage and hang with those that do. We will always lose!
We have to walk in faith of the light that only God gives each one of us. Keeping it real and speaking out for our brothers and sisters. Speaking out and leading the way for the littles or young adults along our paths.
Not turn a blind eye; not contribute to what should not be; not say it’s not our problem and continue exposing or just doing what we do around them.
Someone is always watching; and we are always leading by example even if it is not a good example. In fact, what is not good usually is more acceptable and easy to follow because it comes so quickly. However, what we should not be doing has the most lasting sting and deepest scars.
Our choices are our own! Even if we are a parent, we cannot force our children once they are past a certain age to be or do anything. And just like we have the ability to be stubborn and hide behind whatever it is driving us through our choices. They too are good at masking what they have gotten caught up in.
It does not matter if you were a throw away kid; your parents fell apart or your parents made mistakes and could not deal with the result of you. Or you came from that Ozzy and Harriette white picket fence home.
Having everything or nothing; we own our journeys! May Gods speed, love, mercy and grace be with us all and all of our babies. All of the littles we come in contact with. For if His does not I can guarantee you there is always someone in the neighborhood just waiting to suck the life out of what God truly wants for us.
Never stop believing in the miracle worker and way maker or the fact that we are all created for something more beautiful and lasting than that of anything this world can give or take from us.
Know that God alone allows our end game and who he allows within our souls when we walk with Him. Will forever be. Shine bright even if you feel your own flame to be just a flicker.
Never give up; never give in for reflecting God’s promise of life ever after and hope in all that is unseen alone is what truly matters and fills us with peace that no one can ever take. Sit in His light and presence daily every second of every day you can possibly find to do so.
True love breaks through in Christ alone. Truth no matter what the pain or sorrow. No matter what is or is not. Is in the God who allows us up and air in our lungs every moment of every day we are given.
Turn all that has harmed us; all that is dark into a light brighter and bolder chasing the darkness straight back to the hell it came.
Do not settle; do not turn your head and do not ever think we can do this life on our own. For it is Jesus Christ that is our strength and future. Even when we do not proclaim it so.
So, no matter what I feel upon this day coming about; no matter what any tests will show in my tomorrows I am allowed. I am forever blessed to know the right here and right now. I am blessed for He I am waiting in the depths of this soul.
With great hopes and prayers for all that is good; all that is pure all that is lasting. No matter what is temporary! For death of this world is the passage to everlasting life; be it in the depths of hell and eternal torment for those who refuse to come to you Jesus. Or eternal Glory for those who have been called into your angel army on earth and heaven as it is and is to come!
We all must choose our steps wisely no matter what age; as babies we pray that the adults blessed to give us life lead our way. That is not always the case. If we survive each day we all must grow forward believing in something. This world will give you so many layers to pick and think are correct. People will come and go; those you think are with you forever really are only there until they are done. Or in some cases taken from us. In any of the events that have happened; are happening or will happen. The choice is up to you to grasp all that is light and love bringing harmony. Or adding to your own chaos and anxieties to be consumed by this world.
We are not what happens to us; we are not what we have done, and we are not what we are out there in life’s great performance.
Be what is every lasting; give hope to those you connect even if you are fighting for it yourself.
Please never let the hurt, the pain the anger of those still lost in the world consume me Father or truly consume any of us. Guide us in hope and in love.
Thank you for this day Father God!
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
==== Philippians 4:8 (NIV) Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
==== Philippians 4:8 (NIV) Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ====) And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
==== James 1:2 ==== (NIV) Trials and Temptations
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds,
==== John
16:33 ==== (NIV) 33 “I have told you these things, so that in
me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I
have overcome the world.”
========================
Date: 01/24/2020 Friday
Daily
Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives
and/or feelings):
Thank you, Father, for allowing
me a new day full of opportunities. Just
to be allowed up after a much-rested sleep.
Allowing through all the changes
a peace and knowing I have this random day to just do me and any adventures of
this day to come.
You know all things on this
heart, on this mind; please guide my steps, guard my heart and keep this mind fresh
to always do my best with whatever I am given to work with.
Thank you for the bounty you have
given as I walk through these hills and valleys and the courage to just believe
and keep going into this great unknown.
May all I am connected find the
blessings in strength, and courage through only your mercy and grace gives.
Lord I can tap out the things on
this heart and mind regarding the employment changes; the sadness of loss of
family and friends; the worry of elderly parents; the weariness of those who
just cannot get where they need to be independent. The layers of things that have gone wrong or
right; the constant list of things that always seem to make the way into the
spotlight of our minds eye.
However; I just ask on this day for
your will guide all that I am; giving me the knowledge in choices and steadfast
spirit in what it takes to continue.
Thank you for all that I am in
you and all that I can be for you.
Please hear all that is unspoken
in Jesus mighty name. Thank you
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/RV-Z1YwaOiw “I Hope You Dance” @ Lee Ann Womack
https://youtu.be/J3OEGnH5x8g “Waiting Here For You” @ Christy Nockels
https://youtu.be/0B_lnQIITxU “Do It Again” @ Elevation Worship
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
==== Galatians 6:1 (NIV) [ Doing Good to All ] Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.
https://youtu.be/0B_lnQIITxU “Do It Again” @ Elevation Worship
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
==== Galatians 6:1 (NIV) [ Doing Good to All ] Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ==== And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
==== Hebrews 13:15====
(NIV) 15 Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a
sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name.
==== 2 Corinthians 3:18
==== (NIV) 18 And we all, who
with unveiled faces contemplate[a] the
Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory,
which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
==== Psalm
73:23-24 ==== (NIV) 23 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. 24 You guide me
with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
========================
Date: 01/23/2020 Thursday
Cruising with Kelly (Choices Matter)
Daily Journal/Thoughts/
Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you Father God for another day of opportunities. Thank you for the safe travels; my health and well-being and just life in general.
Thank you Father God for another day of opportunities. Thank you for the safe travels; my health and well-being and just life in general.
It is not always easy to look at life with the
perspective that no matter how we wake up, we still are allowed to wake.
No matter the good, the bad or the ugly; which I hope
more good continues to come as everything in 2020 is new and fresh. I pray for all good and pure blessings for
myself and all I am connected. For guidance in your will to step up, step
out, and always have the mentality to be kind and shine even if it is a
flickering glimmer.
Prayers my excitable personality does not rub off the
wrong way to add negativity to anyone; and if it does something good be learned.
Our choices with free will and the ability to own and
remain accountability are blessings from you alone. May we never waste them and may we always
have your heart when doing all things.
Yesterday is gone; today is full of opportunities even if
to just breathe; tomorrow only you know Jesus!
Thank you for then, for now and for always!
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/CPKyTY71iRM “There Will Be A Day” @ Jeremy Camp
https://youtu.be/4K7kplxNM48 “King of the World” @ Natalie Grant
https://youtu.be/qR8_ROGud1c “Be One” @ Natalie Grant
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
==== James 1:5 (NIV) If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TPT) ==== And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
==== 1 Peter 3:4==== (NIV) 4 Rather, it should be that of your
inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great
worth in God’s sight.
==== 2 Corinthians 4:6-7 ==== (NIV) 6 For God, who
said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”[a] made his light shine in our hearts to give
us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.
7 But
we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is
from God and not from us.
==== 2 Corinthians 12:9 ==== (AMP) 9 but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My
lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of
the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed
and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.”
Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power
of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.
=========================
Date: 01/22/2020 Wednesday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/9PugD11k3JU “Rescue” @ Lauren Daigle
https://youtu.be/MOzsJlk8p6I “The Way” @ Pat Barrett
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
==== Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV) ==== [Ask, Seek, Knock] “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
Meditation Moment
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
====Psalm 52:8 ==== (NIV) 8 But
I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s
unfailing love for ever and ever.
====Proverbs
3:5-6==== (AMP) 5 Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart
And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. 6 [a]In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make
your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].
====Psalm 37:1-22==== (AMP) Security of Those
Who Trust in the Lord,
and Insecurity of the Wicked. A Psalm
of David.
37 [a]Do not worry because of evildoers,
Nor be envious toward wrongdoers;
2
For they will wither quickly like the grass,
And fade like the green herb.
3
Trust [rely on and have confidence] in the Lord and do good;
Dwell in the land and feed [securely] on His faithfulness.
4
Delight yourself in the Lord,
And He will give you the desires and petitions of your heart.
5
Commit your way to the Lord;
Trust in Him also and He will do it.
6
He will make your righteousness [your pursuit of right standing with God] like the light,
And your judgment like [the shining of] the noonday [sun].
7
Be still before the Lord; wait patiently for Him and entrust yourself to Him;
Do not fret (whine, agonize) because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
8
Cease from anger and abandon wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evil.
9
For those who do evil will be cut off,
But those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land.
10
For yet a little while and the wicked one will be gone [forever];
Though you look carefully where he used to be, he will not be [found].
11
But the humble will [at last] inherit the land
And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity and peace.
12
The wicked plots against the righteous
And gnashes at him with his teeth.
13
The Lord laughs at him [the wicked one—the one who oppresses the righteous],
For He sees that his day [of defeat] is coming.
14
The wicked have drawn the sword and bent their bow
To cast down the afflicted and the needy,
To slaughter those who are upright in conduct [those with personal integrity and godly character].
15
The sword [of the ungodly] will enter their own heart,
And their bow will be broken.
16
Better is the little of the righteous [who seek the will of God]
Than the abundance (riches) of many wicked (godless).
17
For the arms of the wicked will be broken,
But the Lord upholds and sustains the righteous [who seek Him].
18
The Lord knows the days of the blameless,
And their inheritance will continue forever.
19
They will not be [b]ashamed in the time of evil,
And in the days of famine they will have plenty and be satisfied.
20
But the wicked (ungodly) will perish,
And the enemies of the Lord will be like the [c]glory of the pastures and like the fat of lambs [that is consumed in smoke],
They vanish—like smoke they vanish away.
21
The wicked borrows and does not pay back,
But the righteous is gracious and kind and gives.
22
For those blessed by God will [at last] inherit the land,
But those cursed by Him will be cut off.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
“Don’t waste energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been. Start at the present moment – accepting things exactly as they are- and search for (God) my way in the midst of those circumstances.” @Sarah Young
Thank you Lord for this new day; as I struggled to get out of that comfortable bed this morning. Asking for energy to move; as the cold weather that set in makes me just want to sleep; I found it thirty something outside and seventy in. Knowing I had that hour drive ahead just wanting your blessing to get up and let the day begin. So here I am!
Thankful and blessed even with that of my mother on my heart; as I am 1300 miles away; wondering what is it that I can do. Working through the layers, I have here and now with the littles that depend on me. It is what it is and then I read today’s devotionals and listen as you remind me to just focus everything back through you.
So here, I am, fully aware that yesterday is gone; and whatever you allow to be will be. Not settling; not forgetting; not staying twisted and tangled up in what was. But trusting you for what will be.
Send who it is to come; help where I cannot figure out; guide me through your will Jesus not that of my own.
I can dig in and try to right or fix many things. However, remaining accountable for what I have allowed and moving forward with you is what matters. Not to become a slave in bondage to foolish worldly ways no matter how close the call. What if I did not understand the facts and acknowledge every second I am belongs to you.
Oh caught up with what consumes this world is something I work hard not to do. Just to be able to simply live, love and laugh doing well where I can and enjoying whatever you give.
I am blessed; and prayerfully ask your will to bless others where I may and grow in you always for every day I am given.
On this cold winter morning; be with all with cold hearts Jesus; no matter what their reasoning. Be with those in need of healing and guidance. Most importantly thank you for being with me in the here and now!
Let the Heart Be
For once in love with the dream that somehow came to see. I know my place in you and that is all I can do. For that sweet soul king you know Lord of all things. The who; the what; the reason. This love is never far; although worldly reality will never allow such things. To love from the inside out; never fears; never doubts. The Jesus I know over everything; truly will bless the soul that allows growth-flying high with faith wings.
Thank you for the yesterdays; the moments of today and if no future tomorrows; thank you for all things that be; no matter how strange that may seem.
Forever and always as a bride of Christ and only one true God who is forever my King.
Eternally blessed, be it with someone or just me. Blessed to always be me. It really does not matter what is, or what this world sees.
=========================
Date: 01/21/2020 Tuesday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/p4rRCjrAyCs “Hills and Valleys” @ Tauren Wells
https://youtu.be/TCunuL58odQ “How He Loves” @ David Crowder*Band
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
==== Galatians 6:7-8 (NIV) ==== Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TBT) And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
====Matthew 10:27 ==== (NIV) 27 What I tell you in
the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from
the roofs. 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but
cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul
and body in hell.
====Deuteronomy 33:27==== (NIV) 27 The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, ‘Destroy them!’
====Romans 8:39==== (NIV) 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you for this new day; thank you for the safe travels into my day-to-day; thank you for the recent humility and being humbled.
It is no big secret for any who walk with you Jesus; that
you are a jealous God and want us freely and openly be all yours. No matter what the cost.
You allow us blessings of comfort, companionship, health
and well-being in general. However, many
times we get distracted from you; even when we know all things are God
breathed.
You allow us this freedom of will and choice; just as you
allow the circumstance and results that follow to sometimes peacefully wash
over us while you wait for thanks and gratitude; or slam into us like that
tsunami wave destroying everything in its path.
You wait upon us never forcing your love.
Even when all we can do is spin in the misfortunes that
we at times create ourselves.
Thank you for each new day; each new experience, even
when I am lost in the worldly anxieties and choices that I forget to speak to
you every second of every day.
How we would look crazy in the eyes of the world, when we
start doing such a thing. Does it matter
what others think or believe we should or should not be?
Depends on where you are walking I guess. If you believe and live by faith of all that
is unseen; then becoming the soul that God designed you to be will absolutely
cost you worldly losses.
Losses of those you once thought were friends;
relationships that you put everything into will disappear because they no
longer have meaning to the person on the other end; material things.
But what is it worth to you; for me like Toby’s song; I
don’t want to gain the whole world to lose my soul. https://youtu.be/yiePk16Yf3o “Lose My Soul” @ TobyMac ft. Kirk
Franklin, Mandisa
Besides the fact when you find God later in life you tend
to understand just how real people are; to no fault really of their own. We are taught or even brainwashed to think
that what is of this world is all there is.
It is not until you step out to purpose daily for greater things that
are only acquired living in faith then anything we can possible see in front of
us.
Everything in the here and now is temporary. Including
all the pain and sorrows that we acquire through the losses of that which tie
knots in our heartstrings.
Those things we desire but are waiting for our future
life unless God changes what we just cannot believe we deserve.
Most times working so much harder than what many think is
smarter. LOL yes all those little phrases and cliché’s
Bottom line none of us deserves anything; yet many when
they acknowledge where the blessings come from and put it to good use for God’s
glory. Some of his greatest gifts and
talents of performers, speakers, artist, storytellers and encouragers of
strength in faith for His promise. Well
blessings are abundant.
Not everyone is meant to be in that spotlight; and even
at times those that are; still are caught up by the world and forget who they
are. The world does that to us if we
are not daily holding tight to all that Jesus was, is and is yet to come. Be it we have been walking with God all our
birth lives or finding our way to His Calls we are who He says we are when we
believe. https://youtu.be/9ikp86p-OsM “Who You Say I Am” @ Among the Thirsty | Ryan
Squiteri
Anyway, my soapbox this morning of these words flowing
out of this mind maze. I just pray all
that I am is worthy enough to be all that Christ alone wants me to be.
He who has allowed me to find myself past all the broken
shattered pieces slowly putting back piece by piece together for God
alone.
Knowing no matter what I experience here and now and over
these years I can assure from a very young age up until here and now. I have picked up many pieces and been healed
through more than many but not close to others.
All for the one who allows air in these lungs. No matter how lost, or caught up I may
get.
I could have been a statistic just like anyone who reads
anything I write. Yet here I am. Misfortunate hurt and sorrow pick no
favorites. God uses all of us for his
will in the end.
This is not a secret how this world spins and the facts
remain; bad things happen to good souls and good things happen for bad souls or
so it seems that way. Bottom line is that
we never let something that has happened to you or those you love to be in
vain.
When we are knocked down; misled; derailed; broken and
cannot breathe. Ask God to breathe for
you. Get back up; brush off and know
there is a reason for everything that God will reveal in time. We do not need to be it here on earth or the
other side when we are dancing on the streets in heaven.
Am I a dreamer absolutely; I believe in all that is
unseen because I know what it can be like in the here and now. I will always be far from perfect but I am
mightily blessed; and nothing here can ever change that.
Therefore, as this mind maze dumps out we are not alone
in the battles and sorrows of this world.
Many you come to know are going through something or
going to need extra prayers just because.
If you believe in Jesus Christ if you call yourself chosen of the most
high. Be in prayer for all things good.
I lift up:
For healing John and Barbara this day; as John is still
working through the shock he has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
For healing my son Joshua and his up and coming shoulder
surgery on 4 February. For a capsule
release within the shoulder. Injuries of
long term fighting and training of the arts.
For healing and guidance for my daughter giving her
positive steps she takes to grow forward more in Christ.
For peace and healing of Margaret and family as Mamma Bev
is slowly transitioning home.
For comfort and peace of Mom and Pops as the new normal
now that Brother Bernie has moved out of this world as we know it.
For comfort and peace for Tammy and the family still
almost 8 months later trying to understand and get through the loss of Tommy
due to drugs. For their salvation in you
Christ.
For comfort, peace, and God’s blessing something bigger
is coming for the performer TobyMac in all he is made to reflect in Christ;
more importantly the Man Kevin Michael and the entire McKeehan family. As no amount of money or material things can
fill the gap of what only God can do.
For abundant healing and protection of all caught up in
the Fires consuming this world.
For protection and peace for all our first responders and
military who are giving, their lives to protect this nation from the darkness that
wants so badly to consume us all.
Thank you for this day Lord; please shine your favor upon
us; upon me for your will.
=========================
Date: 01/20/2020 Monday
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/xihdayqBo0E “Drifter” @ December Radio
https://youtu.be/w1Tc0jqDRnQ “Find You Waiting” @ December Radio
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
==== James 1:2-3 (NIV) ==== [ Trials and Temptations] Consider it pure joy, my brothers and
sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the
testing of your faith produces perseverance.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TBT) And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
====Isaiah 55:9==== (NIV) 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
====Jeremiah 29:11==== (NIV) 11 For
I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you, Lord, for the ability to seek clarity knowing it will not always be easy and far from perfect, but you are always with your children.
Just as remembering this morning how I so related to the song the Drifter as my journey was out in the dark on that midnight ride. The time from 1995 through 2005 when I came back up out of that water.
All those moments trying to find my way back home not knowing where that was exactly.
Until that day, I finally got it; jumping up from working on a college term paper and everyone in my house thinking I had lost my mind. Yelling out it was right where I was with you.
I had never been alone in this life and all the things I was chasing and trying to do to please so many filling up with this or that or even needing someone on my side when it was you all along.
Remembering on this day even waking in the wee hours as I do. Writing those things at that moment. “Wrestling in my sleep leads to awkward entangled moments with these sheets upon waking.” Just like in life! “However, I too have a dream once past reality. Which allows deep convictions full of meaning. With clean hands, love deep within this soul and a pure heart and your spirit to lead the way Jesus.”
Thinking how I have an actual day with no plans or needs to do anything to jump up and taking off for! Wondering, thinking even brief chat conversations. Thank you, Lord, for those who gave their life to make it better for those of us left behind. Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me another day to get up and find opportunities in life.
Thank you for your sacrifices Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. leading by example no matter what the cost. “Darkness cannot drive out Darkness, only LIGHT can do that. Hate cannot drive out Hate, only LOVE can do that.” @Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
It may have started with you in the awareness of what the love of Christ and humanity really means; what achieving our dreams may take dedication and hard work. But we must feel it in our hearts. Purposing towards the light and never giving in or giving up to the darkness this world sometimes consumes humanity by. It starts with each of us; it starts with me. To let go of all the hurt and anger and keep forging forward the best we can. https://youtu.be/eAaEc3oNNI0 “Starts With Me” @ TobyMac ft. Aaron Cole
The only thing constant is this world is change and how we; each individual adapts and addresses the impacts they live through. What we do next matters if we wish to shine forward. For that may look like so many things for so many others. For me Lord; so unsure; so sometimes more confused in the why. So speechless; yet I cannot keep quiet. You take my breath away. https://youtu.be/7cjU4WITpvQ “Wordless” @ Lauren Daigle
There isn’t any fear in me talking about the love you have given me Jesus from the inside out. Through all that which I tried over the years to consume me and eliminate any scars and pain from that of which those who were to be there for me; or even those I made myself as you continually allowed me to move forward in this journey. One thing is for sure; You allowed me to find me and know who I am. Yes, that years ago could have referred to the song https://youtu.be/6oZuNkT7_UM “IRIS” @ The Goo Goo Dolls not wanting the world to see me because they would never understand. Bleeding to just know your alive; was that not like needing to always just keep doing everything and anything for all those that kept coming knowing I would help. In return finding myself in my most desperate needed times totally alone.
Yet when I finally got it and finally found you Jesus; I found myself running to the one who knows me; I know Whose I am. https://youtu.be/6oZuNkT7_UM “Who I Am” @ Blanca
Before I even knew it, I am not longer who I once was. Yes, still ready and willing to help others too quickly but not so I would not be alone. Over time learning boundaries even if sometimes still I cross them when I should not.
My life just barely got started when I fell in love with you Jesus. I am not sure what else is in store or how many days, moments or seconds you will allow. But I know I am no longer just purposely trying to prove Six feet is not that far down to one last breath https://youtu.be/nVR1yu0GJ9c “One Last Breath” @ Creed
You Jesus have always given me this strength or will to not just be because everyone else was. Long before I knew how to read a bible or know what it meant of your pleasing and perfect will. ====Romans 12:2 ====2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
I
am not sure where I am going; I know what I need to do and need you Jesus to
guide me. Give me the time and the right
worlds to release what has been holding for some time; however, make it for
your purpose and used for lighting the way.
Just
as Heart and Soul was not meant for anything but the breath of my sanity
tapping it out; and proving to those close to me we can do anything we put our
mind to. Let them see the blessings of
you through all my remaining days.
Change
is eminent; Father God I need your guidance to get through and do what must be
done for you; and for what is called upon me.
And if all that I am no longer exists; take all that I was for your
glory.
All
the childlike moments of excitement and star struck passion; all the wounds and
scars that sometimes still bleed out.
All the mistakes that I own no matter how they came to be; remaining
accountable and dedicated to the best I can in purity with and for you.
No
matter what it seems our lives are going to change. Lead us through the fires; and if it is your
will allow us to love those along the way despite who they are not. Loving who we connect for what they are
from the inside out; not what they have become; not for what they have been
made to be.
Reveal
in me the eyes you see with Jesus!
Praying for those so dark to be consumed by you alone. For those in the light struggling to hold
tightly as they are falling. May your
love catch them in everything in every way. For whom they really are. Including me Father God. May I never lose grip of you!
Thank
you for this day.
==========================================
Date: 01/19/2020 Sunday
Weekend Services: @New Life Christian Church
8:30 AM service our message today is Promise Made Promise Kept we do not own rights to the Worship that we are covering. https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2707936035965542/?t=1
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com):
https://youtu.be/s9bsjmZfIJU “21 Years” @ TobyMac
https://youtu.be/5zE4bNa-b88 “Fierce” @ Jesus Culture
https://youtu.be/s9bsjmZfIJU “21 Years” @ TobyMac
https://youtu.be/5zE4bNa-b88 “Fierce” @ Jesus Culture
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
==== Matthew 7:12 (NIV) ==== So in everything, do to others what you
would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Verse of the Month @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020):
==== Romans 8:15 (TBT) And you did not receive the “spirit of religious duty,” leading you back into the fear of never being good enough. But you have received the “Spirit of full acceptance,” enfolding you into the family of God. And you will never feel orphaned, for as he rises up within us, our spirits join him in saying the words of tender affection, “Beloved Father!”
Meditation Moment
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
@Sarah Young Enjoying Peace in God’s
Presence
SEEK MY FACE, and you will find more than you ever
dreamed possible. Let me displace worry
at the center of your being. I am like a
supersaturated cloud, showering Peace into the pool of your mind. My Nature is to bless. Your nature is to receive with thanksgiving. This is a true fit, designed before the
foundation of the world. Glorify Me by
receiving My blessing gratefully. I am
the goal of all your searching. When you
seek Me, you find Me and are satisfied.
When lesser goals capture your attention, I fade into the background of
your life. I am still there, watching
and waiting, but you function as if you were alone. Actually, my Light shines on every situation
you will ever face, Live radiantly by expanding your focus to include Me in all
your moments. Let nothing dampen your
search for Me.
====Psalm 27:8 ==== (NKJV) 8 When You said, “Seek My face,” My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”
====Philippians 4:7==== (MSG) 6-7 Don’t fret or worry. Instead of
worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers,
letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness,
everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful
what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
====Jeremiah 29:13 ==== (NIV) 13 You will seek me and find me when
you seek me with all your heart.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you, Jesus, for the days we are given. For all that you fill our days with sometimes overbearing some full of love some full of loved one’s and others where its all gone, and nothing makes sense.
Sometimes the biggest smiles hide the deepest pain; others with all that seems to be abundance never needing a thing; all the while they feel like they are burning up in a luxury furnace from the inside out.
Chasing reasons is not the way to go especially for those who walk with God and think they can manage the pains of this world on their own.
Before we know it the Good Lord, will take that which is most precious away just to protect our souls.
As we are left to continually look at what we once thought was so very clear; filled now with nothing but doubt of the truth of who we can trust; who we believe. Who was it that helped them; help us to that breaking point?
Who gave us the connection; who gave us the thoughts to think we got this!
Who is it that says here take your mind off it; let it go this might help? Who was it that they first seen the truth and brokenness of humanity that tried to play it off and mask what they too were hurting? Only later to know the exact same pains fill this world like a virus that no one eventually is immune.
How can one generation be so different from the next; how can a parent so in touch be so far away. How can a parent turn their back on the very gift of God they are given with lives of their own?
Secrets, misguided ways some with extreme integrity no matter how deep the scars. Others chasing the darkness thinking all they are is bright enough. Parents broken for the daughters who continually give themselves away; sons who think they mastered the chess game of life; yet it with whatever they use up or what they have left in the end the winnings can never be enough for those who received or repaid to those who have lost.
Exhausting day sometimes mentally you wear out faster than any physical bout; be it misguided or with dignity the truth as “Robert H. Smith writes in “The Clock of Life” The clock of life is wound but once, And no man has power to tell just when the hands will stop at late or early hour. Now is the only time you own. Live, Love, Toil with a Will. Place no faith in time. For the clock may soon be still.
So, my own manic child that has the most beautiful soul gets lost and without notice just goes off has had me on the edge of my seat for as long as I can remember. From a six-year-old kid in a school bus accident that rolled into a ravine during a winter blizzard; to the inability to deal with the harsh world and life we live in. Yes, it all started there when she had to have special treatment and of course over life; well she self-inflicts often because it is easier to let everyone else handle her pain and problems instead of dealing head on.
So beautiful; so precious; yet so far away at times with unfortunately because of what happened to me I struggle to walk away and let her just make it. So, I deal with trying to protect her children with whatever just pours out at times.
Looking around at even the adults in our lives at times. I always say God has a funny sense of humor as I sent a really ticked off message to my kid in the middle of the night about not coming home and that I would be taking her child to church. I found out later somehow the message went to my bible study group prayer list.
Yep and as best friends do instead of asking if everything was alright, they walk up and start spewing directions and guidance because they know best. Me, oh I am at my wits end from being tired of disrespect; managing my grands who are my life and wanting so badly healing for my child; layered up with what ifs in my company being purchased and not knowing the future. To my car the transmission goes out.
Well; I did say you know me; leave it alone. Me in-between services at church and me taking a breather the last thing I need is someone getting bossy with me and telling me what to do.
Of course, I thanked them and said leave it; when reality set in for them. As they said they just did not want me to have a heart attack or something from the stress. That I should not put up with such behavior. After I said I will again never turn my back on my grandchildren or people I love. Perhaps maybe a heart attack was something I needed to wake everyone up.
NO, I DID NOT MEAN IT. It just came out. But for two years straight I helped my friend through desperate times of her drug addict son who daily she would threaten to just end it all by pulling the trigger.
I would sit there for hours; and leave worrying; knowing how many people in my life truly have killed themselves.
I did apologize; after saying wow I am there; but I did not mean to say that. But my how the tables have turned. Now you know all those times you were breaking down and would never change or let God handle your son; you just kept letting him back in to rob and put you in harms way and break you. Right up to six months ago when he went off to prison again. WOW we are a mess!
Parents the reason we run an Adult Life Support Group Bible study for the past almost 18 years.
We listen and want the best and happiness with abundant health most of all believing our children are going to turn it around when they can’t seem to let Jesus in; Even our adult friends or acquaintances that seem to be lost and losing life. Sometimes even our children do not make it back.
We fight for what to do as a parent from the day they are born; and the one sure fact is only being connected and steadfast with Jesus Christ daily is what will get any of us through of lives challenges.
No matter what the outcome. For us no matter what the layer; for our children; our babies; our blood.
If we are lucky to have a companion God breathes into our lives to lean on and with to continue pressing forward any days, we are given. What an abundant blessing.
Yet if we are not blessed with such; we are filled with some indescribable strength and need to love fiercely forward. Trying to understand and know what is and what isn’t while not judging that which is absolutely is clear.
I am far from perfect and many days just want to curl up in that fetal position never getting up again. Somedays not giving a damn what anyone thinks; while others striving not to let what I have no control over consume me because in the world it matters?
Sometimes even others mad not understanding why I have been alone all my human life and not allowed that one pure connection; yet allowed to live through darkness that have left scars; or why I cannot just walk away from my blood as it was done with me.
I never stop praying daily that God turns it around; even though He has, and He does. Even when we still look up never really knowing who to cling to in this world as a human. Who to believe in; who to really know just assured we are to never ever give up on our all might God!
https://youtu.be/-Gv8VDqc-os “God, Turn It Around” @ Jon Reddick
Exhausting just being can be overwhelming at times; however, if it is not our time; there is still so much to do. No matter what we feel or are going through.
There is nothing worth more than the relationship with the father. I will always be far from perfect and my worth of all I am or all I have been given, including my children and grandchildren and just knowing I belong to Jesus Christ and his will is a reason I am allowed to tap out somedays while holding back others. https://youtu.be/UvBBC7-PSHo “Holy Spirit” @ Francesca Battistelli
So here I am; truthfully righteously blessed beyond all deserving. Tired at times yes; writing too much at times.
Others no. But for each day the Jesus allows me up. I shall forever be grateful and continue doing what I do the best I can with what I get to work with.
There will always be those who think they know best and have the answers; those who love you for who you are; those who love you for what you do; those who don’t.
Our days are known by God himself; nothing we can say or do will change that. He is with me; and wants to be with all of us. Even when we are weary and losing ground in this world; hold “Steadfast” @ GATEWAY to Him alone. https://youtu.be/vNFNY4Wuh0s
