07.Wk4_2020_July(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly

Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)

Date: 07/25/2020 Saturday

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Psalm 119:60 (NIV)

⁶⁰ I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

John 10:27 (NIV)  ²⁷ The sheep that are My own hear My voice and listen to Me; I know them, and they follow Me.

  Romans 8:28 (AMP) ²⁸ And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose..

Jeremiah 29:13 (AMP) ¹³ Then [with a deep longing] you will seek Me and require Me [as a vital necessity] and [you will] find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/wedYKosEe9k  “Won’t Stop Now” @Elevation Worship

https://youtu.be/cchmAU-NLKo   “Way Maker” @/ caminho no deserto~ Jeremy Riddle and Priscilla Alcantara

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

You know this shelter in place has been too long, when your phone notifies you a text came through and its still dark, you are unable to open your eyes all the way; yet you manage to see its from your loved one. 

    Rolling over eyes still closed and respond to their question. Are you awake?   You are saying,  No!    Next question was Ha then how did your answer?

Thank you, Lord, for this new day no matter what I get into today; I know you have gone before me and will always be there to pick me up after.   Either on this side or in eternity.

Yes, once I was blessed no matter what time it is to speak to my number one child.  Whom I have not seen near enough in years and this lousy pandemic has kept me from doing my routine visit to get hugs and love on the folks too.   

And I spend way too much time on technology where I can respond to messages in my sleep.    I am up and working on cup number two.

The sun is shining now and was not long after I was able to talk with my first born that coyotes made it through our neighborhood and every family dog in the area was barking their heads off.   All before 7am on a Saturday, with no plans but to do more painting.

My eyes are open now!   And this mind after staying up most of the night reading, is slowly starting to fire and put all the stuff unpacked laying all over the maze floor tossed in ever directly last night is slowly being put back away in the common sense lockers.

All is good, been stepping up my working out again, trying to maintain health and slow the aging process.    So, this body now needs to find a really good massage therapist so I can work out all the kinks.   I never stretch nearly enough and have not gotten myself into doing yoga yet.  

Anyway, let me find those thoughts I had before I got up and started doing things around this place and did write them down.   As I back up out of the rabbit hole, I do not need to wander in.

Losing direction, so easy as you can tell any given day I am blessed to get up and tap out.   Happens to all of us, being in our writing or with something or someone in life allot.  

I am thankful beyond all else; that no matter how many times I have had to turn around and lean in and accept I made my life a whole lot harder than it ever had to be.

Alone or with anyone, with clear ambitions and reasons or just a reaction.    With goals and dreams fulfilled or just still curled up in that ball as a wounded child.    Praying someday it will be my turn.

 I will always stand in humility, knowing nothing ever happens without reason and I am forever undeserving and grateful for the one who gives me life and never gave up then and won’t stop now. https://youtu.be/wedYKosEe9k  “Won’t Stop Now” @Elevation Worship

In every season God’s grace is enough and He is not done with any of us yet.  Any of us that choose to call upon Him he unlike that friend that lets you down, that empty promise you or someone else makes, that forever love that just never reveals itself. 

  God’s presence has and always will show up!    His door is always open.   

So, no matter what you have faith in, people, places, things.    Even in every storm that devastates the world where we are.  He will never be broken as Jesus is healed from all we have done to him directly or just to ourselves that he in a love indescribable that on one here on this earth could ever give.    

 

Will do to Him as we wander and respond in the dark without ever opening our eyes.  Without ever showing up, without ever thinking about that way that washes everything in its direction out to sea.

No matter if we are running full force into a fire or wake up finding ourselves feeling lost and fighting the waves of life trying to get back to steady ground.   Know who God is meeting Him only through His son Jesus Christ.     Learn to praise Him through all the storms or the beautiful paradise moments.

There will always be storms, there will always be deception, there will always be those that do not believe in themselves, so they pretend to be someone or something they are not.   Along the way they pile up collateral damage along their journey.

There will always be those who see the good no matter how bad things, or someone is.  There will always be those that are pure evil, and you can sense their presence as soon as they are within a range of where you are.

God did not create us to suffer or go through bad things, for he created us in the beautiful and goodness of his image.      Yet today is not different than biblical times and the fallen angels of heaven will build up their armies here on earth.    

God did not create the world for evil, however before he breathed light and life in the world it was nothing but darkness.  So, it does not surprise me that the battle rages on.

Sometimes we do not even need to be entangled and caught up with anyone.   Sometimes we become our own worse enemies in robbing ourselves from all we are meant to be or do.

How often do we let our minds wander backwards and prevent taking the leaps forward?   Or how many times does our impatience allow us to leap into that fire;  and when we come out, we are either carrying more scars or shining bright like a diamond.

I am no authority; I think from my own experiences or what I have seen in truth to or with others.

 

For those who have turned their lives around and they just want to help others do the same.   Do not give up because humanity and those in power with the means do so will not commit or step up to make lives better.

Do not carry the burdens of what you cannot do and fall backwards into whatever numbed you from seeing how painful this life can be.

Go to the foot of the cross face down and always call out to Jesus.    Never start your day or end your nights without being in communication with HIM the one who gives and takes away.  God is with us not only in the bird songs and lush covered mountains where the butterflies soar, but even in the thunder, the wails and overflowing tears of heartbreak.

He was with us long before we ever came into this world, knowing every hair on our heads and he will be with us at the gate of judgement where we stand to be accounted for all our actions and beliefs.

So, what if  we messed up; the question is not why we messed up although we need to correct that.   The question is do you believe our God is a good and faithful, just God?

Did you turn from the sin and banish the demons that you run with or run from,  repenting at the foot of the cross and clinging even to the threads hanging on the majestic robe of Jesus?    It matters sooner than later, especially being tomorrow is never promised. 

We can be allot of things in this vast world we live.  Happy, sad, smart, lost, found, big, little, filled with a variety of colors and sizes.   Nothing we have, nothing we experience here and now, nothing we do or had done to us or to others in the here and now in the end goes with us.

Where is the deep joy and peace that is eternal no matter what this world gives or takes?

Only found when we allow that one on one personal relationship with Jesus.   To be loved and love as God does. 

That does not mean we will not spin.  Yet, even in the spin we get to choose.

So yes, these are my beliefs after walking and living in the depths of this world for thirty years before I gave my life back to Jesus. 

 Meeting Him right where He was not waiting for him to show up anywhere else or some magical sign.

I found my peace even in the organized chaos or shambles of all that surrounds me.

Sleepless nights do not necessarily have to be a bad thing.   Sometimes our minds just shut off; so, we are given the benefit to use that time to either give all that weights us down or has us twisting in knots as we spin back to the Father.   Or just bury us in all that darkness thrives on.

Doubt, anger, pain, hate, insecurities, holding on to what we never had yet, or even will.  

Why do we do that to ourselves?

When we take logic and reason which also can create chaos that does not add up or becomes too good to be true.    We for a moment need to learn how to develop habits that will allow us to come back to earth and stop the spin of what leads to anxiety, self-doubt or even that reactive behaviors.

I choose to do it knowing the God of the Universe allowed me to come to life.    Sometimes that means we lean in on those self-help books and trainings, other people we know go through it like we do.  But always diving into Jesus!

 

Remembering in my secular work ethics and all the trainings we are sent to. My own personal thoughts intertwined here with @Seven Habits of Highly Effective People that Franklin Covey teaches about in in 2.0 

Developing habits even if we remove our human feelings from life and creating and living with foundational principles is helpful but living with moral values is a necessity.

Why should we develop or own the habits we find ourselves in.  

To know our own self

To understand our Personal Trustworthiness

To reflect our character with a pure heart and clean hands, filled with competence and trust.     I used to say if you do not know yourself if you do not trust yourself.  Who can you trust and who do you really know?

Where do you fall on the spectrum of Interdependence  - Independence – and Dependence?         Our independence is smack in the middle where our interdependence is always those public victories that stroke our egos and our dependence and what I refer to as my survival  are those personal victories that not everyone or anyone ever need to know the grim details over.       When I share things it is not that which I am seeking anything but sharing we in this world are not alone in our journey’s and none of us should ever give up on our selves or the promise there is so much more waiting. 

We have to believe it and more importantly see it.   For me what I cannot see sometimes leaves me paralyzed or what I see and when it does not add up to what I would dream to be true.   Well If it is too good to be true, it is until it is not!

 

What we see in our beliefs continually change as the Paradigms shift for what the world throws at us or where we want to be.   We see, We Do, and we Get.

Universal Principles

1.        Natural Laws or Fundamental truths

a.      Universal Timeless

b.      Produce predicable outcomes

c.      External to ourselves

d.      Operate with or without our understanding or acceptance

e.      Self-evident and enabling when understood

2.      Values (The worth or priority we place on people things, ideas or principles

a.      Self-Chosen and ideals

b.      Internal, subjective based on how we see the world

c.      Influenced by upbringing, society, and personal reflection

For me I have to say my shift has always been based on personal reflection and the purpose to never be because that is what is assumed.

 

Habit triggers and start from day one, become the habit by day 21 and can change when we will our mind and change our direction no matter what the cause.

WE OWN OUR CHOICES

 

1.        Always be Proactive – Responding according to value  – Accepting Responsibility – Focusing on the Circle of Influence – Becoming a Transition Figure

2.      Always Begin with The End In Mind – Mental Creation precedes Physical Creation (where is your personal mission statement or vision board)

3.      Always Put First Things First – Your First Things  - Living an Effective Life

4.      Always Think Win-Win

Always Seek First to Understand Then Be Understood  - Challenges of Communication  - The Attitude and skill of Empathy

5.      Always Synergize – Valuing Differences – Creating a Third Alternative and the Perspective of Humility   (Problem or Opportunity)

 

It all sounds commonsensible in reading or writing but in this reality we live in although all of what I mention is helpful and can help us stay grounded it is never going to fill the gap, make you feel better if you face plant or fix any situation.

Just as our human anatomy is made up so uniquely and precious.  Our minds can twist and turn and be off balance by layers the world and never finding peace or just sometimes some of us are born chemically imbalanced.    Sometimes because of our choices and what we consume and do we make our self chemically imbalanced and making it difficult to function.

Anyway, yes, I went deep in that path to Alice and wonderland again.     I am not authority although no dummy either when it comes to life.     Even if I forget to keep my hands and feet in the ride and sometimes bit smitten and bitten with things that are way out of my league.   Or path God wants me to remain on.  

WE all stumble, we all fall; but do we all get back up.

WE all get to believe in whatever we choose.    I choose to believe our God is the one- and only-Way Maker. 

I believe in God as I have lived and experienced all His unseen blessings.   I could never or would never force my thoughts on anyone.  We all get to choose; but that does not mean I will stop talking about him.    

I believe and absolutely adore many I will never personally know; and want to genuinely believe in even those that I wish I could.   But unless life stands right before me, when I hear something sometimes, I react against my better judgment,  sometimes I hold on tightly because IF ONLY gets the better of me.   Yet in the end life goes on and hopefully my choices leave me growing forward and not robbing the emotional bank account that helps us maintain our sanity.

To find that peace sometimes we have to let go before we ever find a grip

Sometimes history and those walls we build, or influence of our cultural and or societal backgrounds or even our family units and lack of.    Create more roadblocks and detours and sometimes we eventually get there, while others we will never know.

We can mask, we can pray, we can fight, we can allot of everything or absolutely nothing.

In the end kindness truly matters.  Despite the direction we take, right, left or straight ahead.    Kindness matters to our own beings and to everyone around us that we impact with the choices we make. 

God as you hear this mind spinning you already know how the wires fire off.  As you hear this heart and know all that I am.

Please heal those that are going through it today.

Please be with those friends and loved one in 12-hour surgeries, in ICU and on their way out because the vessels you gave need to be retired.   Lead their souls back to you Jesus.  Be with friends and relatives of all those who are being left behind.  The sons, that had the loving relationship with their physical father.  The sisters and brothers the connections and souls you bond together. 

The aging being that served you their entire life and sit alone with no one or nothing to maintain and move forward.

Be with he broken hearted Jesus

Be with the lost

Be with those who were lost, found and find themselves during this heaviness of unknown in 2020

Fill your people with the comfort mercy and grace we do not deserve

Protect us from the darkness and all your fallen angels and the armies they have created wreaking havoc on this world

Lord bring swift justice for all who harm the innocent, the children, those who cannot protect themselves

Be with all I am connected Jesus; in love, mercy teaching us how to reflect the grace you give us.

Be with and heal all of our inadequacies to shine brightly for what your creation was meant for.    Even in the darkness may the one flame be the brightest sliver of hope for those in need to turn to you.

May we all come to know you personally before the day of judgement filling our spirits to fly high in truth and pure love.

 

In your mighty and precious name of Jesus.

Elohim (God)

Yahweh (Lord, Jehovah)

El Elyon (The Most High God)

Adonai (Lord, Master)

El Shaddai (Lord God Almighty)

El Olam (The Everlasting God)

Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Will Provide)

Jehovah Rapha (The Lord Who Heals You)

Jehovah Nissa ( The Lord Is My Banner)

El Qanna (Jealous God)

Jehovah Mekoddishkem (The Lord Who Sanctifies You)

Jehovah Shalom (The Lord Is Peace)

Jehovah Sabaoth (The Lord of Hosts)

Jehovah Raah (The Lord Is My Shepherd)

Jehovah Tsidkenu (The Lord Our Righteousness)

Jehovah Shammah (The Lord Is There)

 

Thank you for this new day, the air in my lungs, the long sleepless nights or sound restful moments wrapped in pure love and anticipation.

Thank you for all the opportunities you allow.    May we all find your blessings Jesus, and may the Lord bless all who seek you.   https://youtu.be/uZ55mDL7dA0

  “The Blessing” @Elevation Worship ft. Kari Jobe and Cody Carnes

 In our darkest moments of uncertainty at the hands of our own lost moral compass or souls understanding.  Or that of which others have slammed down at the hands of someone or something else in this vast world of what can or cannot be.   The Blessing from God, Abba our Father in heaven awaits us to reach out and take the everlasting eternal journey that we forever will be blessed.

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Date: 07/24/2020 Friday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/DuZPOVFcFJ4 “Confidence” @Sanctus Real

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Psalm 112:5 (NIV)

  Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely, who conduct their affairs with justice.

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Good morning and thank you for this day and the ability to make it through another week that really has just flown by.  

Even in the pandemic and being locked down and stuck in on location I am blessed to be employed to where the work just keeps coming.   Challenging with so much going on as my company was purchased and we are working towards migrating into one stream instead of what always has been for the past decade.

But busy is beyond good and employment is a blessing I pray for everyone to have a life and not be left out in the cold and starving emotionally and physically. 

The world is hard, and so imbalanced right now; well maybe it always has been. 

The poor have always been poor except those who fight their way out,  the whatever middleclass have always worked around the clock and the rich just get richer and are never happy.

I have had nothing, and I have had much.   You cannot fulfill pure joy with much!   You can fill gaps, enjoy things, but the more you have the more you have to do and the more you want.

Seeing so many where they have it all and it is never enough.   Later walking out on their families, leaving health and well-being behind, and drowning in choices by drugs or relationships that biblically speaking are not right but don’t make sense either.

Gosh another morning where I have no clue where this is all coming from; other than being thankful I am up another day Jesus.

 

Let me put this out there directly though.   Just because I have been walking the walk a long time and doing my best to remain obedient to Jesus and myself and the temple, He has given me.

I fail miserably daily!

I know my flaws and weaknesses; some dive into medicating themselves, being with everyone and anyone, become workaholics, alcoholics, addicts chasing something.

And they we all chase something even if we do not openly allow it to the surface.  We all have that one need, craving or something if only we could have it fulfilled.

 

Yes, me as well.     Thankfully, God never gave up on me and when I found Him, and that light went off and I realized I was never alone even in my darkest moments.   Even as a child where those I should have had to protect and guide me were so lost, they left me for the wolves to feed.    I have no regrets honestly; however, it was not always so. 

I lived my first 30 years angry, hostile and without peace and just flowing with what the world does and the flesh allows.

I had my children not out of planning and starting a family with caring well thought out what is next.     Because of where I landed in this world’s spectrum; and the grace of God by 16 I knew I had to change, or I was going to die.

I needed something to live for.    Pregnant at 17 and delivering my son two months into my 18^th birthday, then my daughter at almost 23.

Do not judge unless God just gave you the credentials saying you are perfect, and you never fell apart or made mistakes. 

 No do not judge how could a family a mother and father fall apart and the kids fall through the cracks or worse yet be so lost their children suffer and even die at the hands of those who are pure evil with no conscious.

The world is broken and all of humanity within it, including you and I are adding to those broken pieces.

Do not Judge

Absolutely do not have sympathy, empathy maybe so you can stand up and make a difference; but never just talk down and pity anyone one that needs guidance and your strength to courage forward. 

 You want to make a statement.  

  The world is full of broken homes and children out there that are being slowly picked apart by the vultures and wolves of this world.

What will you do to make the difference?    Especially in 2020 and going forward!

I am not talking about just signing up for foster parenting, which by the way is broken as well.    Look how many foster parents are just as evil as the world.

 

   Yes, there are many Godly blessed individuals that do their absolute best never giving up.  Sometimes even that is not enough.  

Sometimes we have allowed our children to be so broken and they need help they can just not get in time.    Our systems and the people that run them, who are first of all most likely  under trained, understaffed and under desired programs  and/or are people to run them.

We all fall short; and no, I am not an authority and do not need to be.   The world reflects the truth and all that is lacking.

Endless Agape Love: the will to want what is good for everyone not just ourselves.  The obedience to die to live.  The will and courage to every day get up with the Father and seek His will and direction first in all things. 

The acceptance to keep fighting forward when things do not go according to plans, we have.  But more importantly willingness to step up and fight for those who cannot fight for themselves.    Even when we do not know what is in store.

Yes, many do step up and step out and fight and sometimes the battle is too much alone.  Life in this world is hard.  So ridiculously hard!

Anyone that has been around awhile knows this.  Anyone that is young and ready to give up or think they have a better way.   I suggest you at least absorb listening to words of wisdom of those who have made it through.

You never have to live or relive their experiences; but if you just listen and remember as you are going through something and most importantly.  Think for yourself and choose to have God walking with you every step of the way . 

You can label me anything you want.   I only have one judge, and His name is Jesus.

Yes, do I care what some folks think about me.   Absolutely, but not to the extent I will break.      I love those who are close with all I have.   But I also know what will be will and what is taken away is for a reason.

Does that mean I do not get crazy with the unknowns of life?    Ask anyone close to me.   My wall is so thick from the journey I have traveled.    My logic and sometimes the darkness blocks and runs interference of anything good.

Leaving me all twisted up inside for those things that God has under control.

I learned a long time ago; mean people just suck because their lives suck.   They (those mean souls)  will be mean no matter what and until they find the peace and allow God to soften their hearts.   They will pour out and release what is eating them up inside.   If we are not careful, we will be broken and destroyed by what they purposely or just naturally release without even trying.

They will be your family, friends, loved ones, or perfect strangers.   It does not matter what they have, what they look like or what they do.     Always pray for their souls and God heal them and give peace deep within.    But at the same token where you can.  Stay away and keep your distance.

We all have to do what we have to do for reasons that are logical or insane.  Bottom line put on your armor of God each day to guide you through and always pray for them and any that need that extra oversight.

The world is broken, over the past 20 years I learned much about chemical imbalance and seen some beautiful people with what I now know as bi-polar disorders destroyed.

  Destroyed by others and even the choices they themselves make.

As a parent, as a friend it is heart breaking in any situation to see loved ones lose the battles of this world.

I have watched best friends die, children overdose, families ripped apart finding their parents dead or even learn of people that have been so broken and in the wrong things their children at the age of ten end up in and out of prison and still some there today.

I have watched couples that are few and far between so in love and fighting through the elements together celebrate their 60^th wedding anniversary.  Or even cute little old 80 something year old couples still rocking each other’s world.

Thankfully blessed even in all my own hills and valleys and my own brokenness and a wall built so high and so exposed to all that I should have never believed in; I fight to believe in what could really be good and truth in people.

Sometimes that is a good thing, others it puts me in a spin, so I have to give it all back to the same God that allows me up with air in these lungs each day.

Far from perfect everyone in this universe is and I am at the top of the list.  However, it will never keep me from getting back up and trying to work through and pray daily that I am blessed with those that genuinely care and never give up on me as I do not them.   Unless I am forced to release them to the world they make up.

As I will always want my forever, filled with my dream and sweetness that only God will allow if it his will or could be.

If it is not I am allowed I will forever dream and remain in prayer with the only one that truly matters the same God who came down in flesh and sacrificed, died, rose again and lives within those who call His name.  Jesus!  

If I am and have been wrong all this time; big deal I gained health and well-being and kept myself safe from the crazy world and the many that will chew us up and spit us out like old bubble gum. 

If I am right, the pains from choices made, the loneliness I sometimes am overwhelmed with is all worth it in the end.    I have never set out to be like anyone but myself.  I have never chased what others had.  Sure, there have been somethings I absolutely adored and went out and also found them for my home etc.

 

But I am not after what anyone has, nor do I want to be like anyone else.   Something about being out on your own since being a kid; you learn independence and the lessons sometimes hard and unforgiving.    Give you spirit of what matters and what does not.

So, with that.  And this rabbit hole the mind maze flowed into.    I sincerely pray you always find what truly matters in your own life.

I pray peace and joy that only comes from allowing God into your life and the only way to do that is through Jesus Christ.   I pray peace and comfort for all who are going through IT right now.

That IT can be anything as we all have a story.   I pray peace from those who judge you that your will, your self-confidence, or mine for that matter is not rocked by the misdeeds of this world so badly we cannot get back up and fight forward.

May the God of Jacob have mercy on us all and we show all others the same grace and prayers that we have been given.

Thank you, Lord, for this week and another day of opportunities.  May we always do our best to cling to you and all that is good and not let the unknown make us a mess.

May we always come back to you and may your angels cry out for all who are lost.

 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Psalm 100:4 (NIV) ⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.

  1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV) ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

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Date: 07/23/2020 Thursday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/ZkQQU_U48WU “Truly, Madly, Deeply)” @Savage Garden

https://youtu.be/VgtbmK04U2U “New Wine (Cover)” @Terrian Live @Royal Studios Memphis)

https://youtu.be/wFk-b5XfhwM     “Let Love Lead” @Terrian Live @Royal Studios Memphis

https://youtu.be/x7-N_Wua9XE  “Goodness of God” @Blanca

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Matthew 19:14 (NKJV)   ¹⁴ But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Lord you have been leading in love since the day you breathed life into this world and made us from dust.      May you alone lead us in your will.

 For all the mercy and grace, we are given each new day.   May we your creation acknowledge do our best to walk and be in your will.

It has never been easy, nor will it as there no where in the Bible that states we can know you and life will just flow with all that is good. 

In fact, it says those that draw near to you will be tested, tempted and tormented for though darkness as those who do not stand faithful with you Jesus will go through and even when we are of good but wandering in the desert will be tested and even crushed by the serpent for the sin we do not turn from.      Even if we are not sinning, we will be at peace but suffer for those choices we are entangled with.  Be it family, friends, loved one’s or just collateral damage.

For all who remain faithful and call upon you Jesus will be beyond blessed.     For all the blessings as I look back even before I accepted Jesus within me.  I always prayed to an unseen God with great faith and hope.  

Lord take us into the deep waters of this life and show us what love is teach us how to swim.   https://youtu.be/pdQFqZ2YuMo   “Into The Deep” @Citipointe Worship

 

 You heard me then as you hear me now Father God.   Thank you for never leaving me even when I forget you Got this life.

I have stumbled through the dark my entire life; be it 15 seconds or 15 years my flesh is still weak and will forever need you Jesus.

Guide and protect my steps, my words, my actions.   May I always no matter how bad something hurts to me, through me, around me keep going in your love.

Staying out of the weeds Lord is not an easy task for this flesh driven spirit.  Always getting into something to lend that helping hand, always curious getting to close to the edge.     I know you are Good Father so much better than I will ever fully understand or even deserve.

All I am, all I ever was, and all I ever will be is yours Jesus!     If the pain I must endure reflects who you truly are, all the beauty from the desert or ashes.    https://youtu.be/lqbjHOfwKwE   “Beauty for Ashes” @Mid-Cities Worship

  As the peace even in the unknown keeps me from floating out forever lost.

So be it.  Psalms 23:4 (NKJV)  4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

No matter what forever dream unspoken desires or misguided steps I take; Jesus you will always be with those who call upon you.   You know all things before it ever transpires.    

Lead me to the cross, Your will alone be done and remove all others.  Whatever that looks like for me.   In the end I am nothing without you.    Your will not my own.   

No storm, destruction, hate, bitter jealousy, selfishness, evil can win as you alone have already won God!  https://youtu.be/WvtaGtTeMpI  “Great Is Thy Faithfulness” @Christy Nockels

Father I cannot just go through the motions; https://youtu.be/ZUg9qE_KjLg   “The Motions”  @Matthew West something is about to change this I know.

 Good, bad, or indifferent.  Lord please be with all I am connected in blessing, in truth, in mercy and your abundant grace. 

    Forgive me for all that I transgress against you Jesus.  Forgive those even if they cannot see.   Open their eyes, open their hearts.  

May all our ears hear your calling in every language may we not have an excuse.  But come face to face with our choices.

The power of this world that has grown dark, that has made humanity slaves to all that what money can buy, all that of 15 minutes of fame, or even openly running straight to the pits of hell.      Hear your children cry out for healing Jesus!   https://youtu.be/DyzbpBR1KOI   “Heal Our Land”  @Kari Jobe

Beyond comfort, beyond what is temporary.    Cleanse us to reflect why you call your chosen righteous beyond all mistakes, beyond anything or anyone of this world.  Lord hear and come for all those unspoken prayers, all those cries, all those silently suffering.

Bring us in unity Lord may we chase the darkness back where it belongs, may we rightfully be called your children.

  https://youtu.be/hl4HjgPQ5tI  “Belong To You”  @Integrity Music (Here Be Lions)

When You Just Cannot Breathe

Sometimes in the darkest hour the deepest pain is letting go of what you cannot see, in hopes that no matter what you do, who you do it with you always shine forward and never take from others. 

What is not yours will never be, not even if all the pieces seem to fit, unless the blessings right in front of you are pure.

Not all the signs of being entangled with a collector just trying to steal one more piece leaving more broken souls to wander this journey.

In time the truth will reveal itself, until then never settle, never second guess.

Never feel as if you are not good enough because you are the best. Remembering you are here and now because you are blessed.

No matter how much you do with good intentions, no matter how much you do to help find those in need find and be the best.  

No matter how little or all you put in for something or someone else,

No matter how much peace or even rest you may get. 

Knowing it  is better to give than to receive.

In the end if you when you are overwhelmed with lack of appreciation, disrespect.

Lack of trust because nothing makes sense with those that will not let you see.

In the end to avoid just being left high and dry floundering in what was saving them is now rubbed away you with nothing left.

Not material, it maters not.  But protect your heart protect your soul with all you have got.

If you matter, they will show up; if not breathe deep and forget what would of, should of, but is not!

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

John 8:12 (NKJV) ¹² Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness but have the light of life.”

  Matthew 4:14-16 (NKJV) ¹⁴ that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying:   ¹⁵ “The land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, By the way of the sea, beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles:  ¹⁶ The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, And upon those who sat in the region and shadow of death
Light has dawned.”

  

2 Corinthians 3:18 (NKJV) ¹⁸ But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as ^[a]by the Spirit of the Lord.

Exodus 3:14 (NKJV) ¹⁴ And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ ”

  =======================

Date: 07/22/2020 Wednesday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/gBcDLWs8f2I “On Your Own” @Meltt Swim Slowly

https://youtu.be/f3f5dVlfMPY    “Freedom” @Jesus Culture

https://youtu.be/cH3-diCOUyI   “On Your Own” @TobyMac and the Diverse City Band

https://youtu.be/7ESO6SHEwGk  “Highs and Lows” @Hillsong Young and Free

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Matthew 16:15-16 (WYC)   ¹⁵ Jesus said to them [Jesus saith to them], But whom say ye me to be?

¹⁶ Simon Peter answered, and said, Thou art Christ, the Son of God living [Thou art Christ, the Son of quick God].

 

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Lord, for this new day; although I lay in that bed and just paralyzed not wanting to move.  Just wanting to melt into your peaceful abyss and stop with the mundane spin this world has going on.   

 Knowing the difference between faith and knowledge.  Oh, how I have great faith especially in you Jesus.

Yet torn and brakes slammed on when it comes to people because of historical knowledge and just that of the choices we make.   Or why we make them.   

It is not that we do not know what to believe or when; it is the switch of what choice will we accept and make  knowing the wave of results thereafter is coming fast and furious.

I am not one that wants to lose everything all those pieces of me I put into even what many things do not matter.   

As that wave takes everything everyone puts their hopes and dreams in and even the innocence and purity that is just collateral damage and washes it out to sea of the unknown forever.

Any choice we make is because we believe in something enough and want something enough to flip that switch.

Or we just take those detours and do our best to dive in purging all that empties out our emotional bank accounts; trying to latch on to all that is good all that is pure and untainted by this world.

Sometimes all it takes is just one time to show up in a certain way, others we just keep our heads down climbing the mountain of life hopefully knowing all you truly are Jesus.

Looking out, as the birds are singing and flying high, beautiful colors of the vast nature.  

Looking across a freshly covered hillside completely covered in that white blanket of fresh snow, where even the trees dance with icicles hanging softly.      Or those beautiful fall mountain sides that just bask in the sunlit sky with so much beauty.

Yet here and today we hear the birds sing and watch them dance in the sky all the while there is this stigmatism that as you walk out on a Florida summer morning is so thick you wonder why God has allowed such beauty in all things, places or people.

There is so much good in every soul, everything, every place, If only we believe!

Stuck like glue to the blessings of knowing you Jesus!

May I never lose my mind;  I forget who you are and all that you have done for me.  

No matter how twisted this mind takes me spinning.

No matter if I feel the heaviness from the waves that pounded me and I was so very wrong; or the blessings and I am floating so high nothing else matters.

As one thing is for sure, no matter what or who comes in and out of our lives we will never be on our own.

 You Jesus will always be with us. 

Even when we ignore and find ourselves in the pits of hell losing everything because we just did not cling to you and listen to your direction.  

As you are a good God and nothing else will ever compare to what you are here and now; or what you have done so many thousands of years ago.

You Jesus still do; https://youtu.be/aPgeaiaKHkg “You Still Do” @Terrian You still hold that same power that wash us clean and hold us tightly, the same power that move mountains, healing the sick, feeding the many wash over us Jesus.   Wash over me over and over every day you allow me back up.   Jesus show up now in this radical season of unknown for our time here and now.  May the world see all you are Father God?

The day I went down into that water https://youtu.be/maT4phfTXR4 “The River” @Jordan Feliz though it was not for me, as I believed and had been there before as a kid.    Needing to lead the way to show those I love, those I was blessed with it is not about the world.

 I just needed to do what needed to be done to prove that there is more to this life besides me. Even if you saved me beyond all I knew I was lost from.

You Jesus are the truth, the way and all that is or ever will be.     Nothing else in this world including these vessels you give us will last.  But your word, your truth your life in those who believe will and still do! 

So no matter what we are running those parallel lines https://youtu.be/sGXbiE2miPY  Parallel Line” @Keith Urban with you Jesus, or finding ourselves deep in the sorrows of wasted time. https://youtu.be/hfD3YVJrlt8  “Wasted Time” @Eagles

 May we never stop hearing you whisper our names https://youtu.be/JxL9R-1VGmk  “God Whispered Your Name” @Keith Urban

May we always speak life even if just to our own being? Jesus https://youtu.be/7rK6O0YtBRY   “Speak Life” @TobyMac

As we fight through the layers no matter what is, or what is not.

Because even if we stumble https://youtu.be/kg6HedZ4xGs “What if I Stumble” @DC Talk, your hand is always there to help us back up.

Anyway, as I can rattle on with all these thoughts this morning; one thing is for sure I need you Jesus https://youtu.be/NLpeqJg6Ubo “I Just Need U” @TobyMac, Cory Asbury(Tide Electric Remix)to consume me https://youtu.be/uVlod4SdLD8“Consume Me” @DC Talk making me as you will!  

As my will Jesus is so caught up even after all these years in that one thing forever dreaming of that Agape love and my forever.

No matter how  I try to find my way back to that desert, Jesus please come wash over me and all this world. 

 Please show us what our new normal with and through you will be.

 Even If https://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y   “Even If” @MercyMe life is not what we planned; for we know we can plan all day and night, but it will be you who decides what is and what is not.

 Sometimes that means no matter what that looks like Jesus! My hope my very being needs all that you are to hold me.  As I am going down.

Through all our highs and lows, gains, and losses; Jesus wash through us, wash through me daily!

  Soften the hearts that have just had so much they cannot believe, show humanity just how beautiful it is.   Fill this universe with your love; fill me Jesus with all you bless.

If not today, or any days I have left in this realm may all I crave run straight through  through you Jesus be fulfilled in my next.  

Thank you for the blessings you have allowed from the days long before I found you to the days I will be dancing in your streets of gold! https://youtu.be/SNn9kOAJEqE   “Streets Of Gold” @Need To Breathe

Thank you for those that are precious to my very heart strings. 

 My prayers of accountibility, protection, comfort and your grandeur filling them with peace, will and common sense to know the difference and live by faith and not be frozen in knowledge of this world.

  But always just dance and see your beauty in all things they are allowed to experience.      Trusting you Jesus, https://youtu.be/ZYkZE8AogDE   “God Of All My Days” @Casting Crowns  You are the God of all our days.

May we cling to you Father God, finding our freedom in all the beauty you allow when we are in your will.  That which is ever lasting and beyond eternity.  Heal us, Guide us!

Thank you, Jesus, for your reminder this morning as you never let me stray too far. Thank you for this new day!

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

“FIND FREEDOM through seeking to please Me above all else.  You have only one Master.  When you let others’ expectations drive you, you scatter your energy to the winds.  Your own desire to look good can also drain your energy.  I am your Master, and I do not drive you to be what you are not.  Your pretense displeases Me, especially when it is in My “service.”  Concentrate on staying close to Me at all times.  It is impossible to be inauthentic while you are focusing on My Presence.” @Jesus Calling –“Enjoying Peace in His Presence” @Sarah Young

Ephesians 5:8-10 (NKJV) ⁸ For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of the ^[a]Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), ¹⁰ finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.

  Matthew 6:1 (NKJV) Do Good to Please God

  Matthew 23:8 (NKJV) ⁸ But you, do not be called ‘Rabbi’; for One is your ^[a]Teacher, ^[b]the Christ, and you are all brethren.

6 “Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven.

 =======================

Date: 07/21/2020 Tuesday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/1kOO8af-KAI   “All By Myself” @Mia Negovetic and Stejepan Hause (Hausercello)

https://youtu.be/qLf5OMoShlQ    “All The Way Back” @Mark and Sarah Tillman

https://youtu.be/l9hCrXx5sUY     “Rise Up-When Hope Is Hard” @Passion City Church DC

 

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Psalm 119:30 (TPT)   ³⁰ I’ve chosen to obey your truth and walk in the splendor-light of all that you teach me.

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Not just to give us breath to get up and do another day finding opportunities making big mistakes or landing awesome unbelievable dreams.

Breathe on the ashes of our fading burn Jesus; taking me all the way back to the foot of the cross when everything was ever so clear.    

When our hearts, our truth, our souls mattered.       Nothing of the chasing paper or getting caught up in a spin where some do whatever they choose crushing what they think is beneath them and games are easy to manipulate.

This world spins out of control, so many in need, so many making the choices to just stay where they are.   Jesus, we need you.   It was never supposed to be this way yet since the beginning of time those with power be it physical, status or monitory always taking whatever they want moving the chess pieces all over the game boards.

Pushing buttons floors dropping out, cities burning to the ground.   Some not even flinching when loss of their very own that they were to care about are gone. 

What about me; the same music that feeds this soul sets me free brings words to life to read or see.   Am I feeding into all this great world of beating drums as our great ancestors called out for the world you gave to be healed? https://youtu.be/Vz9nzymafg0  “Ancestral Healing Song” @Roel Crabbe-2018

 

Is it so, or just masking the noise of all that we want to believe that we know we the lies have already drowned out?

Pray more worry less, not even a worry this is all just one big test.   Test of time, test of love, we can never lose what we never had or never had reality to show; not yours not mine.

It is no big secret people will use up others quickly instead of care for them.  Taking more than they can give, saying what we want to hear.   Playing out the moments and with one click, one word, one step are gone taking everything they accumulated in their harvest just like that.

 

Slaves to our being human.  Givers and takers.   At some point both get weary; yet where do they stand with you Father God.   Where do I stand and what is it, I am supposed to do with whatever time you have given me left. 

How Lord do we remain in your light; how does your will keep us when we have gotten so twisted in all that matters of this world.   How do we believe in what this nation has made so discarded or carelessly free, never caring selflessly for anyone’s wellbeing?

Where is this coming from Jesus, where has it gone.   Where is that dreamer that could care less just joy through the veins with now eyes seeing through of all gone wrong.

We Lord are all slaves to ourselves, to this world.   Not even know what even when we are face down.

Never recognizing what is right in front of us as we look for all the signs and they are clearly there; we turn and look away to hold on to hope in what really makes no sense.  Knowing you Jesus would never sin or allow sin for the stories we hear, see, or live out in our own being.    As you watch shaking your head as our father just asking why child do you not listen to me.      https://youtu.be/grGE-prp6H4     “Jesus in Disguise” @Brandon Heath

 

Never certain of anything but in life there will be death.   I cannot just go through the motions.   I cannot just hold on to that pinky as I need your hand in mine.

So close but so far away, questioning when they will show up?  Instead just keep taking pieces of you pieces of me.

Laughing out loud is that better than the real thoughts that come pouring out.  Laughing at all those moments where those say you bring me back to life.  Like that dead man walking.   Yet like that broken washer allowing what once was bright, bold, and beautiful faded and torn stuck in the rinse cycle trying to wash off all that we do not give you Jesus.  https://youtu.be/Nf4ufekHjeg “Dead Man Walking” @Jeremy Camp

It is what it is until it is not.    I wait not just going through the motions but finding whatever projects I can pull off to keep this mind busy and focused.   Not putting all of me in the hope of humanity yet breaking every lie, every hurt, every bad habit I see of theirs and my own.

What makes it so hard for life to be with truth; instead like some great puppeteer we dangle in the scripts and lines of whatever we think we can achieve.   Forgetting who we are.   

 

Children of God, https://youtu.be/n9RqVRBtjM4   “Children Of God” @Third Day  no longer slaves unless we choose to be. https://youtu.be/2QigyB50yGw   “No Longer Slaves” @I Am They

 We have been given deliverance, yet we still seek what has not yet arrived.   What is it with the minds, that torment the body and lead the soul to depths of no return?   

Thankful for all the lessons, blessings, and the scars even though some will never go away, and the wall was built up so high not even I can get past it sometimes.  

Looking back never forgetting where I have been; yet not even six feet from the edge that often of this weirdness, out of what normal use to be and every one just trying to get a grip.  This 2020, reminding us, reminding me I will never be who I was before.  And no matter where I go, I will forever be thankful for the scars that have blessed me to be a child of yours God!     https://youtu.be/OqjGT9BSyJA “Scars” @I Am They

No matter if a writer, journeyman trying to find a story to live out, a movie script, the gaming winning chess piece, musician, student of life playing it all out.  No matter who I am who you are.    God has already won the war.      Stop spinning, making up what is not what you are really after.     Gods not done with you or me.   Far from it, even with the dreams that shook this universe.   Don’t hide stop playing out, stop running.    Just show up!   https://youtu.be/cVHrkYBEgFM “God’s Not Done with You @Tauren Wells

Time is not on anyone’s side.   For when God is ready that time stamp in will be sealed.

Love who you love let them know boldly,  if they walk away its their loss in their story.

Never feel anything but purity of always reaching for the hunger to be lived out.    No matter today, tomorrow or the other side.       For me I have to say thank you Jesus for this awesome ride in life.      All the broken pieces still glued together in that what you shine through.    That stained-glass reality window.

May I never forget why I am here Jesus.  May I never stop believing.

Please your will be done; for me and all I care deeply, am connected being blood and bone of me or that what you have created and allow to be.

Thank you for this new day.  We can never lose what we never had.  May we put all our hopes, our dreams our faith in all you are Jesus and allow you to lead the way.

May the our hope and spirit of you live freely and may we always find our comfort and rest in you with you remembering the day we looked up from the foot of the cross and you poured out your great love.

Show us how to love, show us how to shine, show us, show me what next Jesus.

Thank you for all you allow.  Jesus come wash over this land; wash over me and all I am connected.  Set us free Father God; no matter what that looks like, as long as we are with all you want us to be.

======BBC (Scars)AlwaysMeKelly=======

SCARS

What are your Scars?   Physical;   Emotional; Those you run from; those that just never go away

At what point are you ready to meet Jesus and give him all that consumes you that you try to fill with so many things that only magnify your own pain harbored within.

  When Jesus hung on a cross after being ripped apart, beat, tormented for those of us he would never physically meet.

It does not mean there will not be memories where tears flow.  Nevertheless, you are filled with an abundance of peace that only He can fill. 

  I cannot explain it; I can only say for all I have been through in life.  I should not be here, yet He sustains me, carries me, and fills my soul with more love than I ever deserve, or ever known.

You have to know me to understand my story; but do not take my word for what it will take to heal your Scars.    Find your spirit and let it grow forward.  Find a good bible-based church.   Find true children of God and build a relationship.

 Fill your life with positive people, positive music, and positive ambitions. 

Fill it knowing your maker will carry you.  Not any human agenda in this world.

He is not in any building; He is everywhere.   Jesus took all the stripes, pain so we could walk freely, choose to Love, grow, and enjoy all the peace and positive moral beauty that is in this world if you do not allow yourself to be caught-up.

It is hard; absolutely.  Because with physical scars you try to mask what you are uncomfortable with others seeing.   With emotional scars, you mask or build walls around your heart and block anyone from really getting in.    

I used to be so scared that if something were going down with people and it was going to be bad.  I could at any given time just throw my arms up and say what you can do me hurt me.  And laugh then say you better make sure you do not let me get back up; Cause if I do you better be nowhere miles around.     Death could not hold me.  

Thankfully, I have survived those younger years; although my story is very deep and there will always be emotionally hard to remove.   However, my God sustains me, and I sleep at night without waking and fighting for my life out of a sound sleep.    I do have trust issues; but I am at peace with who I am; and what I have come through in this life.      All my physical scars will be gone in my next life as the inner beauty the Lord allows me to consume now when looking out or listening to so much beautiful music by authors and musicians playing his harmonies intended for good, which allow me to put all those trust issues far away.   I am blessed; you can be as well.     What are your Scars you wish to go away?  From my own experience, when you believe and cry out to the Lord, He will heal you as well. 

 It may not take over night; but over time, you too will see, feel, and reflect all the blessings awaiting while having a much greater peace where you cannot remember how hurt you once were.

 

  

My Real in Reality

Drowning in my reality without the real that keeps my sanity. Where are you now I silently yell and shout. But to my knees in Christ is where I go to work through work things out!

 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Proverbs 3:5 (TLP)
⁵ Trust in the Lord completely,
and do not rely on your own opinions.
With all your heart rely on him to guide you,
and he will lead you in every decision you make.

  Isaiah 30:15 (TLP) ¹⁵ Lord Yahweh, the Holy One of Israel, says:
    “Come back to me! By returning and resting in me you will be saved.
    In quietness and trust you will be made strong.
    But you refused.

 =======================

Date: 07/20/2020 Monday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/V_w5babUeUE   “Do You Feel Empty Inside?” @Pastor Steven Furtick | Elevation Worship

https://youtu.be/fHqEIOr290I    “Lonely Places” @Pastor Steven Furtick | Elevation Worship

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

1 John 1:7 (MSG)   ^6-7 If we claim that we experience a shared life with him and continue to stumble around in the dark, we’re obviously lying through our teeth—we’re not living what we claim. But if we walk in the light, God himself being the light, we also experience a shared life with one another, as the sacrificed blood of Jesus, God’s Son, purges all our sin.

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Father God, you are perfect in all of your ways.    https://youtu.be/VXY-puPTEVs “Good Good Father ” @Chris Tomlin @Mob Worship Live

 

No one will ever come close to being as beautiful and majestic as you are.  I pray I may see you in everything and everyone all my days.  https://youtu.be/-f4MUUMWMV4   “Goodness of God ” @Bethel Music

 

 

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me up another day; not sure when I fell into that sound slumber, but I did; wide awake at 3am.     

Just crawling up in that comfortable ball thinking about how beautiful this life really has been.  Even through the destruction and brokenness.  Within and to my own vessel and all around the nation.

Even when crushing blows destroyed so many and have knocked me off my feet leaving me unable to move.    You somehow have made me strong enough to get back up.  https://youtu.be/YuMaBDjSA4c “You Are My Strength ” @Spencer Roth

 

I have not had to ask you God where you are now in an exceptionally long time.   You have allowed me to want to look up every moment I am allowed up.  https://youtu.be/-4Nx2hEhVRE  “Look Up Child ” @Lauren Daigle

 

Yes, I often weary and cry out that I just cannot do what I do on my own any longer.  It is you Lord that I crawl up in a ball on your lap as your child, seeking understanding, wisdom and your mercy and grace every day I have been given.

Your goodness Jesus, long before I ever met you kept me getting back up.     More than broken pieces, more than discarded meat, more than what anyone takes for granted, more than anything on the outside.   You Lord fight for me when I cannot and no one else would ever consider to.  https://youtu.be/hn5FFm580xc    “I Cannot Do This On My Own” @Colony House

 

The reasons like many of this world.

We just do not know what we do not know, even though we have these great plans, ideas or even those vision boards.

Even I do; not always visible to the world, but you know all I am Jesus.

No big secret I put all I am into you and fall short minute by minute.

I am blessed beyond any reality of this world and there on. 

Thankful you Lord never leave me.   Even when I cannot see or feel you, I know you will always dwell in me until my end of times.  

 Show me what that looks like as my days transition forward.

Show me how to trust that of the world that I am supposed to and run as fast as I can for all I should not.

Show me what that looks like for all I am connected and care deeply for.

Owning every choice, I have made I own my journey even if, even when.

Choosing my happiness when you allow it.   I just pray Lord in this fallen world where it is not uncommon to see death on every street, hate in every photo or news cast. 

Vultures trying to pick their targets apart second by second.  Destroying innocence and publishing darkness and evil.

 

Even You Lord wash filthy rags to purity making white as snow. Reconcile Lord this world through Christ!  https://youtu.be/Yik703G0gqo     “Reconcile” @Filthy Rags

 

Jesus, I do not know what any tomorrow’s will be.   I pray for all that is real, all that is with clean hands and your blessing pure hearts.   For all my next whatever steps.  Lead me through all that shakes me.   

Forgive me for my indiscretions be it under pressure reactions, or deepest desires.    Show me how!

My shortfalls you know Lord.  You know all I am, all I crave, all I desire.   As you do each and every soul.

Thank you for Loving me enough to never leave!  May I always have the courage and strength you Jesus allow.

May the passion that burns within; shine bright for you first always.  

Thank you for this day and any tomorrow’s I may be given.    Show me through your will and all that I am called upon for and with.   May all my connections including myself acknowledge your blessings always.

May we all come to your Table giving all we are and will be back to you and accept whatever the blessings are allowed in our journey.  https://youtu.be/DX67rHyTdmM      “To The Table” @Zach Williams

 

Sometimes in life no matter how bad you had it; you push forward growing towards all that shines brighter and let go of the past.

Sometimes in life no matter how much you need or want; you just do what it takes to get past.

Learning how to get over, or around the hurdles and when you know no matter how good it will be; that it would be just too good to ever last.   You do not change who you are; but you store it away and keep moving until you cannot any longer.

Sometimes we never know why

Sometimes we cannot control the tears when we suddenly cry

Sometimes everything or nothing makes sense

Sometimes you just want to sell out; you just want to figure out the way of how to disappear and let everything and everyone do what they need to do, because the only reason they would noticed you gone is that you are not picking up the pieces that belong to them and not you.

Sometimes the disrespect, or demands are the only reality there is.   When you did have your own life, you were fighting to survive, understand not even knowing what, much less the how or demand.

Always for everything good, everything pure sacrifice is a must!

Always you manage to survive; not because of anything of the world or all that transpires.

Always with, in, and through God.   Jesus will never ever let the well of living water, our life run dry.

If he gets us up; we find a way to make the best of everything we are given.  No matter what that looks like.

Sometimes it just is what it is, until it is not~

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Psalms 42:1-2 (TLP) A Cry for Revival^[a]
A contemplative poem for instruction, by the prophetic singers of Korah’s clan^[b]
1 I long to drink of you, O God,
drinking deeply from the streams of pleasure
flowing from your presence.
My longings overwhelm me for more of you!^[c]
2 My soul thirsts, pants, and longs for the living God.
I want to come and see the face of God.

42 For the Pure and Shining One

  Psalms 34:5 (TLP)

⁵ Gaze upon him, join your life with his, and joy will come.
Your faces will glisten with glory.
You’ll never wear that shame-face again.

 

Philippians 2:15 (TLP) ¹⁵ For then you will be seen as innocent,^[a] faultless, and pure children of God, even though you live in the midst of a brutal and perverse culture.^[b] For you will appear among them as shining lights^[c] in the universe,

 =======================

Date: 07/19/2020 Sunday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/voLvnqzs0J8 “Rise Up” @The World’s Best Auditions Daneliya Tuleshova

https://youtu.be/ROsdWfK_G0E “You Keep Hope Alive” @ft. Jon Reddick (Church of the City)

https://youtu.be/1HdTfakHEsc   “It is Well” @Bethel | Worship Mob

https://youtu.be/6xx0d3R2LoU    “Reckless Love" @Cory Asbury

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Isaiah 41:10 (AMPC)   ¹⁰ Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Rise Up if he has allowed you air your lungs and still movement in your body; reach deep down within the being you are created to be.   No matter how many times you have been knocked down, fell down into the pit or wanting so much better for others and they never want it enough for themselves.  

When they want what they can only see what is in front of them but all else is clouded by whatever is holding them back to be the best they can be for themselves.

Not getting that the same God that has created this universe has created them to find and be joy even in the storms.

I get it; it is extremely hard to keep smiling all the time as this world can KO you right out of the planet quickly if you not purposing to believe in so much better.

Even though I get up daily starting my day with my Father and Sustainer; knowing all the strength I will ever have comes from Jesus and what He did on that cross for me to live.

If you do not have a spiritual relationship with God through Jesus,  we just stay lost in ourselves and all that is breaking us internally is breaking all that love and care for us on the outside.   God created us for so much more than we allow ourselves to fight forward to shine bright in our imperfections.

We are loved more than our scars or mistakes.  Rise up and Shine;  God has never lost a battle.

I have been fighting to live my entire life; from living in the basement  apartment of a house with my mother, brother and sister and my grandmother upstairs.    Being so sick as a kid they could not keep me awake I one of the first instances outside of breaking my arm really bad and not being able to have it fixed.

But how my uncles would check in on us and try to wake me up and the one time they rushed me to the hospital because I would fall back over.

You would never know it know.    But being a kid back then times have changed.    Seems I was highly anemic.   Crazy remembering some of the things as we come through the journey.    Pieces of me man they got so complicated as the years went on.

Back then never even know what a battle was, never even gave it a second thought.  Even when I had been broken and was put back together again.  We  just deal with the moment in time and never think about anything forward.

 

As we get older we get caught in that spin, and allow all that we think we failed out, all that we made mistakes and messed up with, all that we let in our lives and robbed our own emotional bank accounts with no one to replenish any positive reinforcement that we will get through it; if only we let go.

 

Where or when my breakthrough came, I am not sure; I have always known there is been something greater than me.   I have always known I am not here on my own account. 

I remember the feeling when I realized one day, I am no longer angry and ready to fight but filled with an indescribable peace that I will never understand.  But just know that no matter what hurts, habits, or hang-ups. 

 

No matter what good, bad, or indifferent the world and all those in it.  Be we want them or not.    God is in control and we have nor will we ever be alone.

He is there pushing us through for our every breakthrough.     It is okay not to be okay and not this world is not our final destiny.     We just need to know our worth, while we are here.

Even when we are walking with the spirit and have that daily relationship with God; we fall short in knowing what that worth is and we get caught up in things that we should just let go.

Yet instead we cling tighter even when we do not realize it; or sometimes that is just who we are.  We choose to not come out of our comfort zone and make change because for whatever reason we hold what was and are afraid to really live out what we say we hope for.

Sometimes we just make assumptions and do things and give away all we are to others who say they are in need, show that they are in need.   While all the while we just silently wish when is it our turn.  And later realize when others do not put effort into what they think they need; even when they receive the gift of various opportunities and advancement in life.     Those helping find themselves broken for stepping up in the first place.

Rabbit hole, with this mind maze; but hopefully you will take time and watch this weekend service and      listen to one of our Elders give a great message on The Holy Spirit working in our lives.  I did not record the Worship on the lawn we did on a big piece of property one of our church members has opened up on Sundays.   But Dennis gives the same great message.

https://www.facebook.com/newlifeccspringhill/videos/518876542232010/   @NLCC weekend services great message from Dennis Deright

Why I mention this today is because even in todays message I am reminded the Holy Spirit is always with us and although we even as parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, friends, lovers, husbands and wives or significant others.

  No matter what we know a person can do or be with such great talent.  No matter what wrong or right someone is doing.   We can only plant the seed and lead the way with our choices and our actions upon being touched by other choices.

 

We cannot force anyone to do anything, cannot force anyone to be happy, anyone to let go of what was and move for what could be.    Each one of us have to choose what we will do.

Yes, sometimes we, sometimes I motivate with what I do next because of the joy it will do for or to others.   Or even that hope of those beings you really want to have in your life will want to be in our own.

I know my own failing points; I am a giver.  Without a doubt.   Does not matter if even in the back of my mind I wish and pray for things I have helped make happen for others.  

Or just the fact I honestly believe it is better to give than receive.   Although as I grow forward in my journey.   It is no big secret that I sometimes think or have thought out loud when will it be my turn.  I have great faith and peace and what I do daily.  Sometimes I start spinning because I think too much of what it would be in the world, in relationships, and living life to the fullest all the while staying grounded and not allowing all that is in the world to become what is important forgetting how to be selfless and growing backwards and being selfish.

No, I have come to far and seen too many blessings, felt too much healing in letting go of what was being if it was really good but not working or really bad and to survive.

Do I enjoy life, oh every chance I get; I just do not need to be medicated to get through because what was is gone and what can be is waiting up ahead.

I try never to judge what others have done, unless they get caught up in the spin or just keep saying I am sorry but do the same thing over and over.  That which hurts and rips life apart for all that it touches.     

 

Sometimes we just have to #LetItGo #LetItHurt #LetItHeal  and in most cases for me I have come to terms by the blessings on the other side of the healing.  To be first I must be last.   Even if that leaves me out on my own little island and just keep getting up each day brushing myself off and say thank you for the blessings of yesterday or the lessons for a lifetime.

I believe to be first we must be last.  How that looks for each one of us I do not know.  

I do know the verse is in the Bible.

However, like everything else in this life just reading the words will not always reveal and show you the way or meaning.  You have to purpose and live for it.

Feeling it the truth yourself; no one can make you feel or understand or choose but each of us our own selves.      I wish, I pray each and every day all that I love all that I am connected could just step out of what it is keeping them spinning and into the arms of the spirit.  Redeeming themselves to God alone and doing their best to just keep shining on and then and only then  knowing what it feels like as the blessing to be last in the world but first in the arms of Jesus truly means.

 

Life is never said to be easy, and anyone who walks with Jesus tells you that life will be perfect without issues once you allow the spirit to wake you up.     Call them out, let them know they are confused if not a liar.

We no matter how long or short we have been walking with God and the living spirit; still fall short daily.   It is our human nature to want the things that God created us to feel.

It is not wrong to want to be held and loved, it is not wrong to have intimacy and beautiful relationships with life partners.   Or enjoying life, making lots of money, wanting lots of nice things or even making and wanting, getting then giving it away.

Of course, like many for me, will think you have lost your mind.   But here is the thing.  We all get to choose.

 

Some of us have to stay busy, circled up with people, doing stuff that is productive and reflective of something good.    Some of us are just okay as collectors.   You know the one with the most toys when they die wins.

That is not true because once you are gone; all your material things will be tossed out for the vultures and thieves to fight over and steel if they do not do it before you even move on.

 

Reality can be hard.  But the one thing for sure living in truth with a pure heart and clean hands.   Just doing our best and keeping the real in reality.      It is beyond well within our souls and spirit sours and shines even when we do not try.

 

What good is having something beautiful if it is rotten on the inside?

What good is having a houseful of everything if you have no one to share it with?

What good is it having someone that loves you to the ends of the earth, if you will wander once you walk out of the room you are in together?

What good is it when you have everything you play the game and win;  yet life is discontinued and those you held ever so dear are the pawns removed  and never to be replaced?

 

Life all we say, all we do matters deeply.    To our own beings, our vessels we have been given as a blessing to travel this journey.     Do not take one second for granted.   Everything we do, every action has that tsunami result reaction.

 

Are you a good swimmer in life?  Or are you just out there riding on everyone else’s rafts trying to catch the most current and new wave?

 

Just some thoughts the good Lord has blessed me with as most days to bring to black and white.    As I think on these myself.

 

Yes, I want it all!   I want the loving trusted beautiful soul of a husband, I want my career, I want the house and laughter of the kids.  The ability to be surrounded up and doing my best to be my best self, all the while serving and knowing where I have been while riding the blessing waves of where I am going.           I want that forever here and now and all the way to the other side of eternity and back.

 

My spin and all my broken pieces, my imperfections, and mistakes oh yes many.   They come to haunt me day or night.    But I have not given up and flatly refuse to stay down when I face plant no matter what the cause.

There is a lesson in every single moment we are given.     

 

I may dream forever; I pray not.   I may struggle to believe my turn is close.   I may have all those scars that keep me from trusting what I cannot see.   I may give everything I am away then just go and find that desert and live my best life alone.

Only God knows what is up ahead.    And man, if that is all I have is the Power and Glory of Jesus with me.       So be it! 

 

I want the best for all I have been blessed.   My children, my grandchildren, my friends, family.    My spiritual brothers and sisters as well as my blood brothers and sisters.  All my connections.    

Knowing this I know I am blessed even when I lose sleep trying to work out the ending in my little messed up head.  

 

“Praying more worry less”   If only; we all deal with life differently.   Knowing and treating everyone we are contact; love them for who they are.     If they mess up; even if they mess up on or against you, me.    Just pray for them and love their souls.

If they have been darkened by the world; Be safe and let God do what he does best no matter what that looks like in our minds eye. 

There will be trouble, there will be brokenness, there will be loss.     But the Son will rise and all the beauty all the light and all of Gods blessings will lead us through to that endless paradise.     He will not turn his promise against the children he has chosen.

He wants all of us; we just have to answer His calling!   We get to choose if we will answer.    Finding our best self;  preservation of the temple we are given; using the gifts we have been granted; finding new ones for those that may not work as they should, or they bring us too close to the past.     We just need to choose, to acknowledge, to just keep moving  and not letting anything done and gone hold us back from what may be ready to bless us beyond all human understanding ahead.

https://youtu.be/hd9qLE90zC8   “In Christ Alone” @Adrienne Liesching, Geoff Moore & The Distance

Bring Jesus all your hurts, habits, feelings.  Even everything you wish you did not have.   God wants all of you the beginning of every one of your days, in first light and in the pitch black.   He wants your lack of understanding, he wants all those urges and love everything you could possibly be, say or do to go through Him first and your willingness to have faith in all you cannot see.     

 

Instead of giving up on yourself or even giving yourself away trying to find that something to fill whatever it is your trying cover over, fill up or even forget.   Give yourself and accept all of God’s mercy, grace and Reckless Love. 

https://youtu.be/4UOp4TP7IiQ  “Here As In Heaven” @Spontaneous , Stronger, Worship Mob

 

God please knock harder on those I am connected; soften their hearts, may they hear and see your love and surrender.    Heal all that is broken and reconcile what you will and guide all that is new where you will.  

All that I am, everything I have, everything I am connected belongs to you Jesus!   Not just now, not just tomorrow, or all the yesterdays.      Everything we are everything it is will always be from the beginning of time until eternity no matter where it lands.    Forever Yours!

 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Acts 20:35 (ESV) ³⁵ In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

 Ephesians 6:16 (ESV) ¹⁶ In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;

 

1 John 1:5-7 (ESV) Walking in the Light

⁵ This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. ⁷ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

 Isaiah 12:2 (ESV) ² “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God^[a] is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”

 Romans 8:16 (MSG) ^15-17 This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life.

It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are.

We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance!

We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!