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Sunday May 15th
Ecclesiastes 11:5
(TLB)
5 God’s ways are as mysterious as the pathway of the wind
and as the manner in which a human spirit is infused into the little body of a
baby while it is yet in its mother’s womb.
Read full chapter
Ecclesiastes
11:5 in all English translations
Thought
Movers,
Motivations Touching
to the Soul coming from YouTube.com
The Black Eyed
Peas - Where Is The Love?
Graves Into
Gardens ft. Brandon Lake | Live | Elevation Worship
Gratitude -
Brandon Lake | Moment
YOU WERE THERE
WITH LYRICS by AVALON
You Never Miss a
Moment (spontaneous) - Amanda Lindsey Cook
TobyMac - See The
Light (Lyrics)
Thinking
Out Loud – Journal Thoughts/Prayers / Mind Maze Overflow
I so cannot believe how time is flying by. Not only that it has been a week since I last
shared pieces of me. But that it has
been 15 years ago today that I had major surgery on this heart. Where an entire community that did not know
me and prayed your will.
Your will for the surgeons working on this beating heart
that was so dead fixing me as you worked in so many more ways that can never be
categorized.
Even though I was walking through life and knowing who you
were Jesus it was not until then that I bargained with you that it was a
perfect time of understanding if it was my time to go if I must. Lord knows no matter how much I was trying I
was just broken and done with what the world was giving, or I was chasing.
But if you kept me alive when they put a 35mm patch into
this broken heart that all of me was yours and your will be done. Crazy a 4-hour surgery, within 2 hours after
I was up and walking around and by that following Sunday I was standing in church
with eyes wide open and hands held high.
Not for anything but to show the gratitude I could never
repay and to confirm you were and are in control.
What was the surgery.
I was born into a world of broken hearts. Physically, emotionally and trapped by
chasing all that never fulfills. After declining
so many times and the docs saying if I did not fix the hole, I would drown in
my own blood washing back into my lungs.
Yet here even as an adult a punk kid as in my youth daring
and doing stupid crazy things. Broken
in so many ways from starving for love, starving for life. Yet constantly living in let downs and just
doing everything to push it to die and leave this place.
Believing and giving all of myself away; thinking it was mutual
love and things went well as long as my paycheck was turned over and I kept my
mouth closed.
As long as I did not challenge the verbal assaults on the
only pieces of life that keep me breathing later. My children. To the physical that finally I had enough.
Being put through a kitchen table or flying through a van
window as it rolled over and over. Or
just pouring whatever I could in to stop feeling.
My youth was stolen, thrown into the pits because the
adults responsible could never get out of their own way and were to be consumed,
with their own, while their kids raised themselves.
A Throw away father who I later learned that both the
mother and father were just kids married at 15 years old and neither knew how
nor should they have been where they were.
Yet, You Jesus knew exactly what would be.
Life is what it is until its not. God is there always. In the pain, in the strife, in the wars, and
even in the beauty made from all the ashes.
My pain then, my own child’s pain now lost in herself and
trying to make it. Or is she; is she healing
or hiding. Only you know Father
God. I am thankful I have been blessed
with life up through here and now. As I
lost my grandmother at 9 and had no one as my family was so broken.
As hard and tiring as it is. I still just want your will. I just want my children and my children’s
children to be well and filled with all the love and joy you give Jesus.
As the strength and courage of the warrior within Joshua
to the beauty and delicacy of Tiffany and all the beauty in between.
You are then, now, and always. Be it the roller coaster ride of life. Life is an amazing ride if we only
acknowledged it.
Planting seeds of love and harmony along the way and not
enabling but learning how to nurture that which you give to grow. In people, places, and things.
I am not sure what will happen in my own life even still
today. From going to stand up and
popping a hamstring to face planting in belief and enablement of helping those
that choose not to be givers but takers.
Somethings never change.
One thing is for sure we learn along the way, though the world will know
who Jesus is. Not everyone will walk
with him. In fact, still there will be
anger and hate and death and destruction to the very innocence and harmony of
what should be beautiful.
No, we don’t run and hide, we do not put ourselves into a bubble. What does that leave us? God and his favor is with us on the hill or
deep in the valley for all who believes.
Moreso there is no sitting on the fence or lukewarm. No matter how good or bad it is. We must call upon and live out what days we
may have left with as much harmony as we can even in the midst of destruction.
We must let go of the hate
of all the hurts, habits or hang-ups that leave us broken.
Great message today in service 5-15
Service with New Life Christian Church-Spring Hill and @Steven Furtick in
removing the event from a decision. https://fb.watch/d1csftjxOl/
So what now in this life where so much hate towards our
own lives pours out to make others we do not even know suffer? Mass shootings, bullies, haters! God was then, God is now, and God will
always be no matter what is or is not happening.
Where is the love?
Within us, yet we refuse to share it unless it self- serves. Or those who care too much trying to keep
fighting forward. God is the love, in
his son Jesus Christ and all the blood that poured out. Nothing can change that. So, no matter how much darkness tries to
chase away the light; it will never stay hidden. God wins!
Father, son Christ Jesus, and the Holy Spirit HELP US!
HEAL US! Your
will; come down and rain on us Jesus.
Show us at least for a glimpse in time show the world your light through
all that could ever be.
Time never promised is fleeting as we know the here and now.
May we let go of the pain because you took it all long
before we endured any of it?
May we never stop getting back up and trying new things? May we never stop loving because no matter
what we do; you will never stop loving us?
As we find the balance of what to hold on and when to let go. May we know that we are your creation. The very breath and life worth more than
anything this world will ever be able to give or take. You keep pouring into us each day we are
allowed back up. May we, take all you
are and pour into beautiful things even when we do not understand…
Though the pain and tears pour out as we watch those, we
love lose themselves or perhaps find what will never be you. That the sliding along a gravel road
standing up looking back with the fog cast over the wheels spinning or being
tackled by a troop as a lost 14-year-old kid goes to light a cigarette wondering
what happened all while standing in a line of gasoline pouring out from the
vehicle that was no longer recognizable. Or that 11-year-old girl being medicated by
the so-called friends that were the neighborhood all the while the demons used
their lives for what they thought would destroy so many.
There will never be enough gratitude for knowing you were
and are always there!!!
None of us are qualified even if we do our best to prove
we are. Blessed yes; qualified never.
May the harmony and songs written in our lifetimes never miss
all you are Jesus. No matter how long it
takes us to meet you where you are.
We will all see the truth and light; I pray for those tied
to this heart and soul it is for the glory of all that is good. From the depths that even I do not know
exist. You and Me; Jesus shake us up
and let us fall into you.
