02/28/2019
Lord as we wrap this month up; it has been full of so many ups and downs. Anxieties and even some fears.
Not what my plans would have laid out. I wish I could get a handle even as close as I am with you how not to let the world get the best of me sometimes.
I am very thankful I have you, or you have me. I cannot survive without the hope and love of Jesus Christ.
Some of the things that need prayer Father and you know every situation.
Cancer and Illness for those I grew up with, those that have been friends for a very long time.
Death of loved ones and pets.
Depression experienced by family and friends and myself. For things of unknown, things just not going the way some of us need to feel worth something.
The future of a Sweet Soul and all the unknowns that go with it.
Spiritual hunger and the changes in where we worship. We lift this body of believers up to plant and grow your kingdom
The past rearing its ugly head and causing so much pain for those I love and care about.
Yet we are blessed for those who survived surgeries
opportunities to be surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ and worship
my own health and well being that you have blessed me with.
Lord I know this list is generic, I know there can never be enough blessings or thanks given for all you do.
But I am Thankful for all I make it through. Even when and sometimes more often than not I just want to quit and hide. I am thankful and blessed beyond anything in this world to know you have chosen me to be called a daughter of the Most High King.
I do not know what tomorrow will bring, if anything. But for today I lift all I am connected up to you Father. you know every it of laughter, every sound of tears falling. Every racing heartbeat and the reasons why. Please be with all my connections and guide us in your will for what should be next.
For all of the would of, should of and could of moments. Lord please guide and protect me, my family and all I am connected with.
I will never understand but I believe deeply in you Jesus!
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02/26/2019
I am thankful and can never say it enough for each day I am given here alive.
My days are far from perfect, battles of sorts take over at times so much through my days I just want to quit.
Yet I know my purpose is for more than what transpires around me.
I have been blessed with a journey that allowed me beautiful children and grandchildren.
Friends, family, acquaintances, connections those so deep you cannot get enough to those are just passing whispers.
Trying not to think what life would have been like without any of this; even when there are days it does not make sense.
I know I am never alone, even if the world makes it feel that way.
No matter what, there are no words to describe the love and peace He fills me with even through all the uncertainty. I could go on and dig in and write about what is churning inside, the pains the love the unknown. But this morning, it will be where I can never show or say it enough. I am just thankful!
——-
The best thing about living for everyone else’s agenda. Is when You finally are tired of their unknowns that they try to minipulate you for the misfortune of their own choices. No matter how bad it hurts. You can break free and know you were the only one holding on in the first place.
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02/25/2019
Thankful last evening's great night of worship with some beautifully talented souls. Thankful for a day off where I can catch up on sleep I have been lacking once done with these thoughts.
Thankful more than I can ever repay my Lord and Savior for all he has done for me and given me in this life.
Praying for all the unspoken needs of my family and all those that need a voice. Praying for those going through it. May they know Lord no matter how alone they feel. May they know you are there!
Lord this world needs so much more of you in all that is said and done. So much more truth, loyalty, respect. Yet we know the battle is real of good and evil.
We know that innocence will be lost, those unable to care for themselves will be damaged and destroyed. Beautiful souls will give up and given in. Some to be tormented forever and others gone too soon.
Lord we need you here now more than ever.
The children of this world need you Jesus. My time may be used up. But Lord the children of the future need you to have a future.
They say the truth will set you free. With you yes! I get it; without you, is very lonely when not many stand true.
Lord I need you in this world; For me, For my children and grandchildren.
Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I say to You, Lord. "You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing." Psalm 16:1-2
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02/24/2019
As I think through some of the conversations on gratefulness; there can never be enough.
As these thoughts that came to my head yesterday came out. How true they really are and can be.
"If Only
If only, I could love you forever the dreamer exclaims.
Then God spoke and said; your forever is now with me, and love is now, and more real than anything this world can give. Believe and never give up hope. For there is much to do much to see."
I wish I could say this flows naturally out of me; but at times the Holy spirit that lives within me, comes out and makes even me see there is more depth, more height more everything in the one we acknowledge as our God.
I relate so well with the song by Natalie Grant "King Of The World" how often I am reminded that I put Jesus in a box.
How I have that spiritual tug of war, handing things over and pulling them back without even realizing.
I so believe in God, I so believe He will sustain me and all who believe. Yet so often still get in way over my head and let the whispers of the world or the past or the unknown spawn into doubt, anxiety, panic thinking I need to know right now. I need to act right now.
Yet here I am with clear memories of those times in my growth that I should have never made it. Yet here I am. Those times when I like anyone of us could just be a number, a statistic, a fifteen minute news clip to add more sadness. Yet here I am.
Our God is far bigger than anything this world will do to us. Far more than any bad choices we think are making correctly.
Far more than anything we are seeking.
I cannot tell you; it is you that has to build that relationship with Jesus first. You have to own your destiny and walk with God. And once you realize this. Surround yourself with no agenda friends. Those who believe through God all things are possible. Those who seek moral, loyal, respectful lives.
We are not here to condemn or condone. We should not be at least.
We should be here to shine the light and help make this land a better place.
So as the dreamer exclaimed. I wish I could love with/on you forever, to her Sweet Soul King. God, stepped in and reminded me; Forever is right now with God, Jesus Christ the one and only Holy Spirit three in one.
Never give in, never give up. Believe in what is far bigger and true. Believe no matter what happens to me or You. God has so much more for us to see. Believe in the peace when he gives it to you. Believe in what it is you cannot see. Even If Only does not make sense.
--------------------------------
02/23/2019
Lord as we wrap this month up; it has been full of so many ups and downs. Anxieties and even some fears.
Not what my plans would have laid out. I wish I could get a handle even as close as I am with you how not to let the world get the best of me sometimes.
I am very thankful I have you, or you have me. I cannot survive without the hope and love of Jesus Christ.
Some of the things that need prayer Father and you know every situation.
Cancer and Illness for those I grew up with, those that have been friends for a very long time.
Death of loved ones and pets.
Depression experienced by family and friends and myself. For things of unknown, things just not going the way some of us need to feel worth something.
The future of a Sweet Soul and all the unknowns that go with it.
Spiritual hunger and the changes in where we worship. We lift this body of believers up to plant and grow your kingdom
The past rearing its ugly head and causing so much pain for those I love and care about.
Yet we are blessed for those who survived surgeries
opportunities to be surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ and worship
my own health and well being that you have blessed me with.
Lord I know this list is generic, I know there can never be enough blessings or thanks given for all you do.
But I am Thankful for all I make it through. Even when and sometimes more often than not I just want to quit and hide. I am thankful and blessed beyond anything in this world to know you have chosen me to be called a daughter of the Most High King.
I do not know what tomorrow will bring, if anything. But for today I lift all I am connected up to you Father. you know every it of laughter, every sound of tears falling. Every racing heartbeat and the reasons why. Please be with all my connections and guide us in your will for what should be next.
For all of the would of, should of and could of moments. Lord please guide and protect me, my family and all I am connected with.
I will never understand but I believe deeply in you Jesus!
------------
02/26/2019
I am thankful and can never say it enough for each day I am given here alive.
My days are far from perfect, battles of sorts take over at times so much through my days I just want to quit.
Yet I know my purpose is for more than what transpires around me.
I have been blessed with a journey that allowed me beautiful children and grandchildren.
Friends, family, acquaintances, connections those so deep you cannot get enough to those are just passing whispers.
Trying not to think what life would have been like without any of this; even when there are days it does not make sense.
I know I am never alone, even if the world makes it feel that way.
No matter what, there are no words to describe the love and peace He fills me with even through all the uncertainty. I could go on and dig in and write about what is churning inside, the pains the love the unknown. But this morning, it will be where I can never show or say it enough. I am just thankful!
——-
The best thing about living for everyone else’s agenda. Is when You finally are tired of their unknowns that they try to minipulate you for the misfortune of their own choices. No matter how bad it hurts. You can break free and know you were the only one holding on in the first place.
-------------------------------------
02/25/2019
Thankful last evening's great night of worship with some beautifully talented souls. Thankful for a day off where I can catch up on sleep I have been lacking once done with these thoughts.
Thankful more than I can ever repay my Lord and Savior for all he has done for me and given me in this life.
Praying for all the unspoken needs of my family and all those that need a voice. Praying for those going through it. May they know Lord no matter how alone they feel. May they know you are there!
Lord this world needs so much more of you in all that is said and done. So much more truth, loyalty, respect. Yet we know the battle is real of good and evil.
We know that innocence will be lost, those unable to care for themselves will be damaged and destroyed. Beautiful souls will give up and given in. Some to be tormented forever and others gone too soon.
Lord we need you here now more than ever.
The children of this world need you Jesus. My time may be used up. But Lord the children of the future need you to have a future.
They say the truth will set you free. With you yes! I get it; without you, is very lonely when not many stand true.
Lord I need you in this world; For me, For my children and grandchildren.
Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I say to You, Lord. "You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing." Psalm 16:1-2
----------
02/24/2019
As I think through some of the conversations on gratefulness; there can never be enough.
As these thoughts that came to my head yesterday came out. How true they really are and can be.
"If Only
If only, I could love you forever the dreamer exclaims.
Then God spoke and said; your forever is now with me, and love is now, and more real than anything this world can give. Believe and never give up hope. For there is much to do much to see."
I wish I could say this flows naturally out of me; but at times the Holy spirit that lives within me, comes out and makes even me see there is more depth, more height more everything in the one we acknowledge as our God.
I relate so well with the song by Natalie Grant "King Of The World" how often I am reminded that I put Jesus in a box.
How I have that spiritual tug of war, handing things over and pulling them back without even realizing.
I so believe in God, I so believe He will sustain me and all who believe. Yet so often still get in way over my head and let the whispers of the world or the past or the unknown spawn into doubt, anxiety, panic thinking I need to know right now. I need to act right now.
Yet here I am with clear memories of those times in my growth that I should have never made it. Yet here I am. Those times when I like anyone of us could just be a number, a statistic, a fifteen minute news clip to add more sadness. Yet here I am.
Our God is far bigger than anything this world will do to us. Far more than any bad choices we think are making correctly.
Far more than anything we are seeking.
I cannot tell you; it is you that has to build that relationship with Jesus first. You have to own your destiny and walk with God. And once you realize this. Surround yourself with no agenda friends. Those who believe through God all things are possible. Those who seek moral, loyal, respectful lives.
We are not here to condemn or condone. We should not be at least.
We should be here to shine the light and help make this land a better place.
So as the dreamer exclaimed. I wish I could love with/on you forever, to her Sweet Soul King. God, stepped in and reminded me; Forever is right now with God, Jesus Christ the one and only Holy Spirit three in one.
Never give in, never give up. Believe in what is far bigger and true. Believe no matter what happens to me or You. God has so much more for us to see. Believe in the peace when he gives it to you. Believe in what it is you cannot see. Even If Only does not make sense.
--------------------------------
02/23/2019
There are no words I could possible say that make more sense than that of my God and a daily reading plan from YouVersion.com
DAY 5: SOLITUDE & SILENCE
Quiet. Not many of us get enough of it, and when we do, we don’t know what to do with it. Ecclesiastes 3, however, tells us that there is a time for all things: mourning and dancing, building and breaking, seeking and losing. The totality of human existence and the emotions which seek to overcome us at times have their place, God reminds us. But how are we to understand and process these without moments which seek their independence from the busyness of life? Psalm 46:10 is beloved for a reason: “Be still, and know that I am God.”
The discipline of solitude & silence begins with creating space for God to speak to our restless hearts. We come with open hands and hearts in anticipation of what God might say. If we are lucky, Isaiah 30:21 might become a reality: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’”
As the flurry of life fades to the background, we begin to hear something which sounds almost foreign. Can that be God’s voice, we wonder? In solitude & silence we begin to hear God’s voice again. The world and all its cares are pushed to the background as, for just a fleeting moment, we are able to rediscover what it means that God has never left our side.
In solitude & silence we find God’s nearness and bigness simultaneously. When all is quiet, we hear the drip of the faucet, the whisper of a leaf in the wind, the steady breathing of a dog in midday nap. The world comes alive in silence, and we rediscover what it means that God sustains the universe and holds everything in His right hand. We see the beauty of a sunset and feel the softness of a pillow. God is over all.
And in our sighs, we also remember that God is in all. “For in him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). And in us He has deposited His greatest gift. Second Corinthians 1:21-22 reads, “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” His love is so vast that He cannot help but be in our hearts as well. He is indeed in all and over all.
Finally, silence & solitude lead us to such worship and awe that His Holy Spirit deposited in us births a new life of gospel witness. We become aware that as we find God in quiet, many do not. We acknowledge that too many turn to other things instead of God. But what if it’s true that God does desire all to be saved and to come to a knowledge of Him? It is true, God says as we sit in silence. Our silence to others on matters of faith become deafening the longer we spend time with God. Silence moves us, ultimately, towards more conversation about Jesus, about life, about hope.
Questions for Reflection:
- Do you find silence and stillness unnerving, or comforting? Why?
- Have you incorporated quiet times of listening to God into your worship of Him?
- In what ways can you use silence and solitude to edify your own faith walk, as well as draw you nearer to the heart of God?
- How does silence interact with evangelism?
02/22/2019
As I think this morning how bi-polar sometimes I must seem with what that sometimes comes out of me. And really I do not care what others think. Especially those who will never really know me.
One thing is for sure. I am burdened heavily when I cannot shake the layers of uncertainty or negativity. When I get hung up on why something is occurring or if someone is real. Trying to see the good in everything, yet scars keep me from just letting life flow through God's hands. Good, bad or indifferent. In the end when we believe and walk in faith with Christ. We are to believe no matter what happens it will be okay. But for me the heaviness when I cannot control this, or even more so when it starts flowing out of my pores rolling onto those I connect.
Adding that to this life that can be and is full of ups and downs. There should be no excuses, I know nothing should really matter, but that of a close relationship with our Lord and Savior. God, Jesus Christ, Abba.
He is more than a friend, more than my brother, more than my father. He is what is in me, by me and all around me. He is what sustains me.
Sometimes I get caught up and allow the flesh to dwell, dream or chase desires in this world, in this flesh. which is not wrong, but it becomes wrong when you let it get under your skin.
The greatest love story ever written is that of Jesus Christ. Nothing I will ever feel, dream, desire will come close.
I am thankful for what is allowed in my world and all the yesterday's today and whatever the future may hold. As long as my God is with me.
I am thankful and prayerfully raise up to Our Father for blessings, love, guidance mercy and grace that only He can give. All of my connections, my family, my friends.
[ To Love, to Be Loved ] God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.
1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 MSG16-18 Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.
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02/21/2019
I am thankful for another new day. I am blessed no matter what will or has transpired. I purpose daily to keep my focus on you Lord and not the world or those in it. For I never want to lose the ability to love. And just as I fall short to be what others need. The world does not allow letting others to be lasting for me.
The sorrow and pain one feels with loss.
One minute one day or twenty years. The loss of what we hope for, the loss of what and who we grow to love. The sorrow and pain lasts a lifetime. We just learn to give it all over to God. Or we bury it deep. Until the layers are too heavy to carry.
Eventually you just keep moving and stop getting close, so you don’t have to feel so much alone in this world.
Believing in something far bigger than we can ever be. Trying to never put expectations in humanity. As we were built to fail but built to continue trying.
But for what when it is God who is what really matters.
Yes these low points come from unfortunate circumstance. This too shall pass; although at what point does Love fulfill in this world we live.
The thoughts that rise up weighting us down, or driving us to do the things we do. Why do you think that is.
Why do some know they are surrounded and loved dearly never feel loved?
Why do we think the pain of loss of any kind will pass?
Why do so many think they can do this life on their own and not side by side with Christ?
Why do so many give what they don't have?
Why do so many take what they will never give anywhere?
Why do so many give up so quickly?
Why do those who fight to hold on, lose the battle?
The questions are endless; but those most important.
What is your purpose in this life?
What or Who sustains you?
Do you have hope?
Do you believe? In what?
Do you believe in God?
Do you believe that God sent His only son into the world to be a living sacrifice so we here on earth could live?
Have you tried everything else and life and you still feel off, heavy, shortchanged or whatever other title you want to label?
If nothing else is working or if you think life is okay just where you are but there is a slight void that cannot be filled.
I strongly suggest you start right where you are at. Face down, and pray out, cry out and build a relationship calling Upon Jesus to show you who God really is.
What do you have to lose?
Life is hard; the pain or anything in this world that gives it will not go away. But you will find peace no matter what good or bad, joyful or painful transpires.
Don't take my words; make your own. Find your peace. Only you can get what is needed for you from God.
______
02/20/2019
Thank you for this new day Jesus. Though none of us are perfect, may we all rise up and do the best we can in your will. With Love, showing mercy and grace wherever we are or are going.
No matter where we have been, what we have done right or wrong; may we purpose daily to live in harmony and love. Doing the best we can with whatever we are given to work with.
We own our own choices, especially when we are able to read or hear such promises from blessings such as Jesus Calling. Life in this world is hard. But no where was it ever written or guaranteed to be easy.
Thank you Jesus for those who deliver Your message. May all that I know and love come to know this peace and blessings you offer.
May we never lose hope, may we never stop loving those you have given us. May we always strive to never hurt with intention anyone we are given.
Colossians 3:15-17 The Message (MSG)
15-17 Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.
Colossians 1:26-29 The Message (MSG)
26-29 This mystery has been kept in the dark for a long time, but now it’s out in the open. God wanted everyone, not just Jews, to know this rich and glorious secret inside and out, regardless of their background, regardless of their religious standing. The mystery in a nutshell is just this: Christ is in you, so therefore you can look forward to sharing in God’s glory. It’s that simple. That is the substance of our Message. We preach Christ, warning people not to add to the Message. We teach in a spirit of profound common sense so that we can bring each person to maturity. To be mature is to be basic. Christ! No more, no less. That’s what I’m working so hard at day after day, year after year, doing my best with the energy God so generously gives me.
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02/19/2019
Lord I am thankful for yesterday and today; I understand you give and you take away. I understand the world when in relationship of any kind will be troubles.
Your will be done.
Please get me through this long day ahead, keep my emotions in check as nothing changes you sustain me.
Yes the blessings of friends, loved ones, pets, soulmates, are just that a blessing. Thank you for the 15 years with my fur baby. May he run with all the others set free now.
I pray for peace and protection in this household; guidance and salvation for my children and children's children.
I pray you guide me and get me back in the depths for you Jesus. I do not do loss well. It has been staggered but added up.
For my sweet soul Lord; only you know the truth of what is deep within. Reveal the truth, and guide me through, with or past all of this.
Nothing in your kingdom is happenstance.
You give and you take away. As I do verbally even though it means nothing when it comes to your power and glory. I can yell scream tell you what to do. As you laugh on the big throne or shake your head at me.
Lord I just pray for your will, your love, mercy and grace. Healing of all the brokenness within and around me. For me for all I am connected. In Jesus precious name hear my heart, my soul my words. Amen
Exodus 3:14 The Message (MSG)
14 God said to Moses, “I-AM-WHO-I-AM. Tell the People of Israel, ‘I-AM sent me to you.’”
Habakkuk 3:17-19 The Message (MSG)
17-19 Though the cherry trees don’t blossom
and the strawberries don’t ripen,
Though the apples are worm-eaten
and the wheat fields stunted,
Though the sheep pens are sheepless
and the cattle barns empty,
I’m singing joyful praise to God.
I’m turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.
Counting on God’s Rule to prevail,
I take heart and gain strength.
I run like a deer.
I feel like I’m king of the mountain!
and the strawberries don’t ripen,
Though the apples are worm-eaten
and the wheat fields stunted,
Though the sheep pens are sheepless
and the cattle barns empty,
I’m singing joyful praise to God.
I’m turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.
Counting on God’s Rule to prevail,
I take heart and gain strength.
I run like a deer.
I feel like I’m king of the mountain!
(For congregational use, with a full orchestra.)
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02/18/2019
Lord
Please just guide my words, guide my actions. Please hear all that is not written. Please accept the true thanks from deep within.
As I hear the morning songs of the birds outside my window in this early dawn.
I truly know how blessed I am. You give what we need, not what we want. You allow lessons in life and along the way share free continuing education. To remind us what this world really is.
Father not all souls walking this earth are truly bad; no all near good but please when you come back; I know you are.
Please be with those who truly love and honor you. In the meantime may your children, may I continue your favor to shine the light and plant the seeds for your kingdom. No matter what.
Your will be done father!
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02/17/2019
Thank you Jesus for this day. As I find I learn more and more about myself, one thing is for certain. I am nothing nor can I function without you and the daily devotions, love and worship of you in my life.
The world so easily starts weighing down my spirit of good intentions, trust and at times just fills me with too much doubt on the things I do not understand or have control over.
Perhaps this is how I was made to tick. Perhaps this is how what sometimes is buried deep within is allowed out.
Am I so different than anyone else in this world. Yes, we are all uniquely knitted together, long before we even made an appearance to this place.
Lord, I thank you for my days; I pray for guidance mercy and grace 7/24. I beg you pull me closer Jesus, on those days I am so overwhelmed and confused I start bringing others down.
Thank you for the people, the connections you have placed in my life. Lord on my best days I need and praise you and on my worse days I need and praise you.
Thank you for the life's lessons even when I am a little slow to grasp or too quick to jump up and go.
Thank you for you God!
-------------------------The Matter of Heart and Soul-------
Life will never be fair in the matters of the heart and soul 24/7. Like the ups and downs of that favorite ride. Just as your coming to the top of the rid ready for the rush spiraling downward and just like that it's over, while you are left ready for more.
All you have is the opportunity to step off, exit quietly and maybe wait in line for when you really may get another chance to feel that rush all over again.
That rush allot like what we feel when we deeply care for someone or something; perhaps even something that looks like God put into your path.
So very close, yet so far away; enough to taste but never close enough to be blessed and quench the thirst. Leaving you wishing you just had someone to laugh and carry on; love blessed to share.
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2/16/2019
Thank you Lord for each new day including this one. Thank you for the celebration of life for my youngest yesterday and the memories and thankfulness of all that I have over come through these years. Lord you are what truly sustains me; I know this. I do ask for forgiveness for this past year not remaining satisfied with just you. My desires to be with someone in the flesh during the time I have left on this earth. For I know it is not wrong as were are not meant to do this life on our own.
Lord just guide and protect all I am, all I am connected with. If the waves of thoughts that come through me are for good writing so be it. But there is more Jesus and only you and the father can guide this path. Please lift all I am connected with up in your will, for healing mercy and grace. With your abundant love. Amen
Holding too tightly cuts off the circulation impairing vision and causes hallucinations where you start to believe in something more beautiful than anything ever experienced. Until the band snaps reality slams down and no one is willing to prove it is beyond beautiful.
So what do you do; as the image you are required to maintain is a must. You die a slow death from the inside out and keep moving. As control is an illusion your connection and all experienced to this point is not. Yet you can barely manage yourself and absolutely can never make anyone love you care or truly have no agenda but that of togetherness and whatever it takes in truth.
Will Truth prevail you do not know. You only lie and moan for the mercies and grace of the one true King of this world on the throne. You pray somewhere in time you will connect with that one true Sweet Soul
Will Truth prevail you do not know. You only lie and moan for the mercies and grace of the one true King of this world on the throne. You pray somewhere in time you will connect with that one true Sweet Soul
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02/15/2019
Thank you Lord for the blessings over my journey you have given me. As I reflect 35 years ago today you blessed me with a beautiful baby girl after a long stay in the hospital and almost losing her and myself. The road is never clear Father and it was absolutely unknown back in those days. Thank you for the life you have given me.
Please forgive me as I realize how much time I am spending in the virtual world Father. I say the weather needs to break so I can jump in and start hands on caring for the gifts you have given me. instead I am always consumed with my work, technology and trying to build a life from what is in the virtual world and not what is right in front of me.
I say in a serious tone how not so funny it is that when you are kind and compassionate you get caught up so easily that what you would in person within what is right in front of you. I am very grateful and blessed you my God have given me so much love and life in this world. Starting far back with the life of my children to allow me life. Even in a world that takes far more than it will ever give in return. The world that lacks loyalty, respect and truth. I pray daily for the protection for this girls sometimes too care free, too caring ambitions. I pray for the protection, salvation and guidance of the children you have blessed me with.
I do not know who or if I will have anyone as a flesh lifetime partner, in this earth standing next to me in the end. To date You my God my Savior. have decided to keep me for yourself. Only you know God if the days I have remaining will ever change that.
All my life you have given me dreams and visions; although I have come to terms with that rarely did I ever do anything with them. It was not until July 2018 the vision that kept repeating itself, I started digging into. You God have tied all the pieces together and tied my soul up in knots at times filling me with this unexplainable love that only you could grant such a sweet soul to connect.
Yet the lines of uncertainty will only be clear by you Jesus. From the dreams as a child, the dreams that awoke me in previous times. To the connection that has transpired these past several months.
Lord you know all that is to come; you know all that should be removed. I pray for your guidance in all this journey father. For my heart is too wide open, my judgement is blinded by the love and care that consumes me.
Reveal Jesus in me, for the future of my family, the future of my next steps. What is to be.
Unveil, all that is not of Your works Father. I ask for continued blessings and love in only Your will not that of the flesh for any of those I am connected.
Lord you have kept me awake over this past almost year many nights, as if I was right next to where I needed to be. As I feel you pull me back now. I thank you for all that has been given; but make it perfectly clear. I do not understand these dreams, these connections or what you have for me in the future. Please hold me tight and guide my ways.
For if it is only You that I will bow before in the end that is coming. Grant me mercy please. For if the my Sweet Soul will be let this come to the light and let me now see.
Thank you for all the journey I have been on; only you God fully know what was, what is and what will be. Just as you have sustained me always as I was, always as I am, and always as I can be. AlwaysMeKelly
-------------------- We Own Our Choices----------------
We see what we want to see
We believe what we want to believe
Even when the signs of truth are in front of us, sometimes
we just cannot look past what we want to believe.
We want to believe the good in all we connect
We want to believe there is truth, honor, and loyalty
We want to believe there respect
How do we deserve or demand respect from anyone else.
Loyalty; is there such thing.
Most are out there, for what they need. Most will do whatever it takes or be
Misunderstanding what you do or do not see. I need affirmation of realism to be right in
front of me. I need them to look me in
the eye and tell me everything has is not a lie.
We must let go and let God start the healing for whatever
the connection was.
For if it is real, it will prevail.
However, you must remove yourself from the equation of
making illogical decisions because you allowed yourself to get far too close. If you continue you could go down hard but not alone. What about the children that live in your home.
The tears will dry; the heart will heal, God will save that
sweet soul that he has placed His seal.
Step up, Step out, Do what is right no matter if anyone else
is or not.
Your time is running out and what you have is what you got.
Love them, yes forever throughout eternity. Never will anyone else ever be. You should have kept your secrets to your self. Instead getting far too comfortable and letting the joking and one liners come out.
What was hidden deep down inside; became a target in someone from someone else's eyes.
So get on your knees and pray to God for a way to hold it
together and remain wise.
Anyone who truly means well for you truly loves
and wants you. Will never hold secrets or feed you lies
Don't judge, you are you I am me.
Just be truthful, straight up or let it be.
For nothing else matters; I always have been, always will be in Love with my Sweet Soul King
=====================================
02/14/2019
Thank you Lord for this day
Thank you for Valentines day celebrating love. Though we here on earth make it more than what it really is. Anytime people can take time to acknowledge and love on one another is a good day.
Father thank you for the ultimate love and sacrifice of your son Jesus Christ. Without Your agape love there would be no humanity. Jesus Thank you for all you went through for mankind; even though we deserve nothing and worse many will never come to acknowledge you.
Lord we can speak of love all day long; I can even dig into my own personal story to tell the ups and downs when chasing love. Or even the longing and desire to be blessed with my lifetime companion Sweet Soul my forever soulmate. And I will never try to minimalize what anyone feels or the importance and need of the flesh and mind when you have someone next to you; or when you lose someone. I pray that everyone knows what true love is through you Jesus.
There is no greater love or gift that is everlasting as being a child of God and knowing how much we are truly loved throughout eternity.
Not just for diamonds or gold; not just for things that break, are stolen or in a moment of emotion tossed away. Your Love God is forever. Thank you for loving me
I ask for forgiveness Father, when I do not acknowledge the love you send me. I ask for direction to know exactly what should earthly love be Jesus. Not just a feeling; not just a soul connection, not for sure just intimacy that really is lust.
What is the full vision Lord we should aspire for with you, for you?
I lift all who are broken or feeling broken during this time Father to your throne. I pray for guidance and mercy that we turn to you and you alone for sustenance. I know Lord we were not meant to be alone. Yet so many of us spend our earthly lives that way.
Guide, heal and protect your children Father. In your Might Precious Name Jesus. Thank you
-----------------------
02/13/2019
Dear Father God
Thank you for holding me tight; especially during those moments I feel like I am unglued and have no clue what direction to go.
On those moments where sometimes I think what if I just quit and bury myself in all that is fake and eventually self destructive. Facing reality with you head on gives me a peace, but certainly never easy. Certainly never clear. I can only pray Jesus that the path I am on is fully blessed and directed by and with you!
Lord if not; please reveal my next steps and guide me through where you want me to be. All that I have come to know will never be just a season or a wave of misfortune. Even if I have no clue what direction I am to go in next.
Thank you for this day and everyday Jesus. Thank you for bringing me closer to you, every day I am given. May your will be done always and not that of my own. There are times especially recent; I just do not know what direction I should be going or what if anything I should even be speaking. From the depths within me; I pray all is on point and true. But Lord how do I get through all this that has me so confused lately.
Please hear my heart and all who are on it Lord and the needs they have. Lord this world is a crazy place and the craziness can impact anyone of us at anytime. Please surround all those I love and care for with your protection, guidance, mercy and grace. Even those who have not fully given everything back to you Jesus.
Please never let me let go Father. In your mighty precious name. With all that I am. Amen
Father forgive me for not being a good steward with all that is yours. Forgive me for making something out of what was never real. Forgive me for even still at this stage being a dreamer. Please guide and hold me.
----------------------
02/12/2019
Thank you Father for another day; each you get me up; each I doubt I deserve.
As I think about it, what do I really do with the time you give me. A few words of encouragement, working for the man doing what I do the best I can with what I get to work with. Yet is it enough. Is it worthy for you. We know the world is hard and no matter what we do at times it will never be enough.
So in these moments of acknowledgement Jesus please guide me; Your will be done in my life and all those I connect and touch. I am truly blessed beyond any deserving that you have never let me go. No matter what! You know how I came to be here on this earth, You know the journey I have lived through, You know my heart and deep what is inside my soul.
Forgive me for my weariness, my wanting to be selfish and just quit and throw it all in at times. Forgive me for wanting more in the physical world then that should be compared to the Holy spirit living inside me.
I pray Lord for all those going through something. They never give up in those tough moments in time where they feel they are out there on their own. I get it; even know I know you are what sustains me I too still get caught up in this world and feel beyond lonely. Yet we are never alone.
May they dig in deep, look up and always pray harder than any situation they are going through or caught up in. God you are there! Just like the air we breathe that we cannot see. We are alive and breathing.
All of what you have given us. It is you Jesus that sacrificed everything for the Father so we would have life here on earth.
Thank you
---------------------------
02/11/2019
Thank you Lord for this new day. As I pulled myself out of the slumber from actually getting to much sleep yesterday. Too much for me as I hardly get past 4 hours a day and here I slept the afternoon away and then back at night and slept more.
Yes, am sure I needed this as every so often you remind me to totally shut down.
It was just so hard shaking it off this morning and getting going.
Lord,
forgive me for the choices I make in this life that I should not; and thank you for those that are filled with You. Father you know me inside out. I never want to purpose to do anything for my own personal gain. Although, in today's standards of this world I should.
Though I feel so very alone in this world many times, You fill me with a greater peace knowing I may be lonely and out here doing life. But I have never been alone!
Although I feel if I could only just help the way I do, have a never ending supply of answers, money, love and energy. Where I could just swoop in help and be gone. Seeing the positive impacts yet never getting entangled in anything not pleasing to you.
Including the churning and what some may call worry this mind of mine stirs up no matter how hard I try to just keep things moving. Please guide my children protect my grandchildren during this process called life.
Partly because I get weary of where I am at; Even though I know how blessed I am.
For all that I am is yours Jesus; I am not enough if anything without you.
Please guide me and direct me where my steps should always go.
--------------------------
Lord
please direct my steps when it comes to matters of the heart and deep within my soul.
Protect and guide me where I am so weak and lack understanding. May your will and love always come first no matter of any what if's.
May the one true Forever sweet soul; be only that which is perfect and pleasing from you Jesus. Nothing temporary, nothing fake. Nothing until the day comes you Lord reveal all that has been set in motion from the day I was born.
The soulmate, key holder my earthly King. The gift from which only comes from your mercy and grace.
----------------------------
1 Peter (Praise to god for a Living Hope) 1:3-4
Psalm 46:10
Yes, am sure I needed this as every so often you remind me to totally shut down.
It was just so hard shaking it off this morning and getting going.
Lord,
forgive me for the choices I make in this life that I should not; and thank you for those that are filled with You. Father you know me inside out. I never want to purpose to do anything for my own personal gain. Although, in today's standards of this world I should.
Though I feel so very alone in this world many times, You fill me with a greater peace knowing I may be lonely and out here doing life. But I have never been alone!
Although I feel if I could only just help the way I do, have a never ending supply of answers, money, love and energy. Where I could just swoop in help and be gone. Seeing the positive impacts yet never getting entangled in anything not pleasing to you.
Including the churning and what some may call worry this mind of mine stirs up no matter how hard I try to just keep things moving. Please guide my children protect my grandchildren during this process called life.
Partly because I get weary of where I am at; Even though I know how blessed I am.
For all that I am is yours Jesus; I am not enough if anything without you.
Please guide me and direct me where my steps should always go.
--------------------------
Lord
please direct my steps when it comes to matters of the heart and deep within my soul.
Protect and guide me where I am so weak and lack understanding. May your will and love always come first no matter of any what if's.
May the one true Forever sweet soul; be only that which is perfect and pleasing from you Jesus. Nothing temporary, nothing fake. Nothing until the day comes you Lord reveal all that has been set in motion from the day I was born.
The soulmate, key holder my earthly King. The gift from which only comes from your mercy and grace.
----------------------------
1 Peter (Praise to god for a Living Hope) 1:3-4
3 Praise be
to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given
us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from
the dead, 4 and into
an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept
in heaven for you,
Colossians 4:2 Devote
yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankfulPsalm 46:10
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I
will be exalted among the nations,
I
will be exalted in the earth.”
--------------------------
02/10/2019
Thank you Jesus for this day!
I realize as I was away from opportunities to worship and my heart stirred with the daily reminders of Your love and presence. I allow the world to creep in.
Just the simple activities of our brothers and sisters singing out to you feeds my soul like no other.
I am not enough Father; never before I came to you; and never will I be even just sitting in your presence. I know this as I pray daily I find new ways to feed the spirit within to stay focused on what is meant for eternity and not that which comes through the cycle of life here on earth.
The importance of how we handle these things here does matter. But none of us can do this on our own without You God!
Nor do I ever want to go back to how if felt before I came to be with you. It is hard enough day to day now sometimes. Being alone in this cold world even when we are surrounded by so much. I will never make it without you.
Please hear my heart. Please guide my steps. Please forgive me and allow others I offend in this crazy cycle we call life.
My end of day thoughts Lord.
Though I may bury myself beyond this worlds calculating methods. As my net worth for what is considered a job well done less than 150k. My heart my actions my love for my God and all I can. Can not have a price tag placed on it. My life is priceless in which only Jesus knows the cost.
For the God of all Gods. King of all Kings. My Jesus My prince of peace the final judge and keeper of all that I am. Will continue to allow me a way in this misguided maze within today’s world. Be it alone or with my sweet soulmate. In the end my God knows all.
----------------
02/09/2019
Father forgive me for my somewhat complaining attitude today. Thank you for allowing me this day.
Thank you for the health, well-being and energy you give me.
This cycle with some things layered up will always come around. It is part of the life circle. Guide me please in my actions and words. As it doesn't take much that I am weary and pull away and try to disappear.
You know me best. How easy I can just bury myself in work to avoid just going through or watching others go through it.
Please guide and protect all of my connections; let your will be done for what it is and give me the courage and strength to remain humble and appreciative when things are not going my way as I wish or pray they should.
Thank you for always listening to me, most importantly Thank you for always carrying me.
--------------
02/08/2019
I can never give enough thanks for the blessings of getting me up, seeing me through and allowing me each new day. Thank you Jesus.
Though our troubles may sometimes seem overwhelming, big and suck the wind you give us to breathe directly out of us. You are far bigger than anything this world can dump down on us.
Though we may receive an abundance of blessings that we pray or cry out for they are not what sustain us. It is You Jesus.
Though there are many times we receive to what feels like nothing we desire or pray out for. Even when it is related to our health and well-being. You Father God, are far bigger and know far better than what our worldly views and desires should be.
The best we can do is never lose hope in the Alpha/Omega Creator of all things who gives us life; that there is a much bigger, bolder, brighter plan for why whatever we may endure here on this earth.
None of us know our checkout time. None of us know when we will lose our faculties.
As I think about my old pooch this morning who recently turned 15 and has for weeks been showing changes in his once young activities.
As I realized this morning he did not know who I was. As this breaks my heart to know eventually he too with is beautiful soul you have given will be returned back to the maker.
I think how God must feel for all those who just do not know Him and all His loving kindness.
I pray for those of us here on this earth that truly call ourselves children of the most High King. That we unify in prayer and His will to shine the light everywhere we go.
That we maintain strength and courage when we are up against the darkness and all that will never want anything to do with Jesus Christ. Protecting us from what can be truly evil.
I pray we shine and reach all those who are in need an desperately seeking the relationship and blessings of our Great God and the salvation he grants.
Jesus; this world can leave us spinning. I pray for every soul I come in contact with, not just those I have come close and grown to love and keep closer..I pray they all make sure when they dance to this life song in this world that surrounds us. They all have God as their dance partner. He who buffers the falls and leads our steps.
————Sparked Truths Our God Will Never Disappoint US-----------
Sparked Truths Our God Will Never Disappoint US even when we fail him daily!
The great thing in life is with God; He never will never lie, cheat, take what is not His. And never lead you on. He is the truth yesterday-today- and throughout eternity. He forgives mistakes when we walk with Him in obedience. He also judges harshly those who do not 🙌🏻
In this grand world so much can take place. Good bad or indifferent. I tried to raise my children up and my grandchildren to always do the right thing. That goes for any children I come in contact with. No I do not not boss them around, but I do always try to lead by example and make clear right from wrong, in a positive manner. Trying never to be condemning and most of all the known. Never lie, cheat, steal, disrespect themselves or anyone else. Never take what is not theirs and never take more than they can ever give.
What’s hard is; this world around us has so many different values.
From those never having a problem with any of the above. Or just genuinely misleading people for their own personal gain.
The thing is it even though I have gotten more protective because no matter how many times in my lifetime it occurs; that which hurts the most is the fact I will help anywhere and everywhere I can. So this is my own personal battle. Because I know how the world is, yet most times no questions asked and no strings. I step in for anyone pretty much always depending on surroundings and circumstance. What I try to believe and always expect or ask; knowing no one owes me anything; to please just do not lie to me about anything.
If you are building a relationship with me of any kind; be straight up and always keep it real. Never is there a reason to lie about anything. If you do not want someone to know something just do not bring that subject up. But always keep it real.
Unfortunately, there have been even more occurrences; where for whatever reason; people just can't keep it real. A small lie, big lie and if they are around long enough you see some really starting to believe their own lies. When anyone brings that into my world; it really does break my heart little pieces chip away each time.
What is worse and makes you feel in some situations crushed; especially when it is someone your related to or even when one of your kids or grand kids start acting out and hiding and telling lies. I wonder where a young child gets the ideas in their head to lie about things.
I know in school they learn so much by first grade that in my time although my life was hard I was a teen before some of the things that come out of my seven year old.
I know in some cases they learn what they are exposed to right in their own homes. In a situation I am watching unfold in my home; that is not the case. In fact I am too straight up at times and have to ask the good Lord for forgiveness for being abrasive.
But currently for this past several months, at least this school year which has become more prominent. My youngest in 2nd grade has had issues in school.
She is lashing out, actually beat up some boy that touched her and even when she knocked him down, she kicked while he was there. I would like to chuckle and say good girl; but fighting is always the last resort.
So she gets written up. Okay so we work through it; But it does not stop there. Over a period of just a couple months she is getting written up enough to be on in school suspension. For things like disrupting the class, not listening and purposely walking or running ahead or not stop doing things she had been asked to.
She gets notes home, she gets in trouble. From losing privileges, spankings to timeout.
However, instead of getting better, this one starts getting progressively worse.
Even where she starts hiding her reports being sent home, lying where things are, and even hiding her agenda in the back of grandma's car so making up stories.
Now you may think this is nothing. I can assure you rebellious behavior I understand; this one does not fall too far from her mothers tree. What I cannot grasp is how do they learn such behavior so early on.
I know we are all born with sin in us. I get it; I am far from an angel. I know each and every generation and/or soul is different. I get it.
I truly believe eventually things like this get us into the place, where we are forever playing out or on people. Even yet being caught up in a system that will never let you go. mentally if not physically.
My perspective especially in this time in point; the world can be very disappointing.
I guess this tangent I am writing is just about the one pet peeve that really bothers and haunts me. Whenever I get sucked into a story that transpires lies, I take it personally and it hurts. Especially when I see it in children, those in my family.
What is the solution in this crazy world.
For me and my tangent about being sucked up or sucked in because I care too much too often about people places and things that should be no where near any part of my story.
Well; I am blessed, I mean I have always been able to pick myself up from instances and just love people and help them where they are at. Keep on keeping on. If the impact is grand, I brush myself off take many deep breaths and try hard once out of the rut I end up in to stay to myself and only help in guarded environments. It does not always work. I do pray I had someone looking out for me.
For know my faith in God to keep me safe is what counts, and anything I have that I may lose, or give away is His alone.
As for seeing the children of this world who are so young and so many on a wrong path. I am disappointed, concerned and worrisome. It does bring sadness to me .
I know my God is far bigger than anything anyway ever done in this world, be it around me or against me.
I just wish I could be a positive impact and learn how to train up a child that is so young and already keeping secrets and telling their own version of things.
I remind them about God being right there next to them. I also remind myself, all I can do is plant the seeds, and lead by example.
I ask for prayer my friends as I grow weary with this stuff.
I find myself getting sad over things I have no control over to change for the good.
I find myself even though Gods word says to love others, I want to hide away from the world. I find myself ready to disconnect many times from everything and everyone including those I dearly love.
Selfishly, feeling weary of things that are personally not my issue, yet I make them my own because of where I am or how my connection is related.
I would like to wake up and know some of the things I have been a part of, some of the things I see taking place in the world today were all just a dream.
Imagining as I walk out into a bold field of wild flowers and beautiful skies. Then I remember how long ago my ex use to tell me just what a fool I was to be such a dreamer.
Crazy as it seems; I am very thankful for all I have been blessed with good bad or indifferent and I absolutely know where I am going on the other end of my dash!
I just at some point would like to have a long pause of sadness and see all our children grow and prosper in all that is good. Even if this is just a moment in time; it somehow repeats itself in various waves. What are we doing for the future of this world. What about our children. I would like before I move on out of this world; to see the beauty of true unification and people openly speaking love and truth.
No one ever purposely using, or abusing any living soul on this earth. To see children just being children safe and happily playing full of laughter.
Imagine A Jesus filled Woodstock moment without all the drugs and radical craziness. All the awesome worship teams and leaders coming together. In that huge field of beauty and love. Day after day. I think sometimes I imagine too much and take things way too personal. But I believe those streets of gold are awaiting in heaven.
-----------
02/07/2019
Thank you Lord for this new day!
Lord as I busy around so early running to this corner and that corner getting day to day started. I thank you for the rest and abilities I am given.
Knowing what could have been and what is and the changes over time in this journey you supported as I learned and still learn today in this walk.
I try to never take for granted one moment of any day. Or that of anyone I am connected.
Although the way the world changes so fast, it is so very hard to keep up and know what is God breathed and what is of the world to run from.
I know my soul worships with love songs to and for you; as I know I am hungry right now. For the depth to be surrounded by you Jesus. The blessings of this world are beautiful but not without you ever.
As I go through these next phases, stages or waves of life in this world. I pray you hold me and all I love close to you Father. Sometimes even if we are your children; we feel as though we have lost touch or are barely holding on.
Please hold us! Please hold me!
-----------
02/06/2019
Thank you always Lord for waking me up and giving me new opportunities to live, write, or just be!
A Gem only shines for the eyes that hold it dear, until it is replaced with which was in view all along.
What is in your view that you will cast aside and later to be missed?
Know what is temporary and that what goes to eternity with you. Your choices are your own, in the end it is what you decided to do with your portion of this earthly space.
If you do not spend time with God who is your Crown of all Jewels and Gems; Who goes before and stands against all spiritual and physical elements; shining clarity for your path.
Forever you will be in the unseen battle of all that is painfully lost.
"JESUS teach me to not let my heart be troubled. Help me trust in Your Father and trust also in You. In Your Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, You would have told me.
You have gone there to prepare a place for me . You will most assuredly come back and take me to be with You someday so that I may also be where You are." (John 14:1-3)
-----------
02/05/2019
Thank you for this new day! It does not have to be. Yet you Father God allowed me to get up and do it again.
Guide me in your will; Fill me with your thoughts; Allow me to see what you see; Allow me to shine the light for others to find you as I did. May I be blessed with the courage and strength only you can give to continue getting up each day. Somedays I am weary and feel so very insignificant still; as if none of this matters as it not my final home.
Lord you know, it has not always been my ability to talk with you, much less openly and happily.
Before I came to know you, I really was about what was in front of me and just to get me through to see another day. To be allowed to live long enough to see my children grow up and later to see my grandchildren grow up. Even though I always knew you God, You were real.
It was not always that I would openly acknowledge you or even come to know you and depend on you as I do in this part of my journey.
Thank you for never giving up on me.
For all the worldly thoughts, and judgements or even thinking at times I had anything under control.
Control for somethings in this world is truly an illusion.
I am blessed, I am thankful. Even if I do not understand the why of when somethings transpire. I can waste time surely where I can reminisce and think back of the different signs all the way back to my teens. But it is all beyond me, I will never get the full meaning that is needed.
Honestly, I do not want to try and figure any of this next journey out like that.
I just want and need it to be filled with your will God and all that I do and all those I surround myself with be pleasing to you.
In your perfect and precious name Jesus; I lift all my family, all my connections near or far all I am close with and all you know are coming . I lift them all up to You Jesus. There is a healing and peace that is needed among the masses.
There is a light needed to shine brightly given them hope in all they are going through. There are those who think they have it all together that will soon fall hard. May they reach to you and you alone when they are going through it.
I lift all those Lord out there trying to share your message up to you Lord. Please let them not falter in what it is. Protect and guide them and their families.
For all our children and the future of this world you have given us; for those that cannot care or defend themselves, may Your angels of protection and guidance come out and surround and protect them.
For those needing traveling mercies; protections, guidance; to those needing immediate emotional and physical healing. Lord YOUR will be done.
In your precious name Lord of Lords King of Kings. Thank you Jesus!
------------------ Thoughts and Wondering-----------------
As I my mind wonders as I wander, I often think how I ended up here without the grace of God
Anyone that knows me knows I am always thinking, always doing something, and as dedicated and in love with Jesus find myself at times worrying about things not in front of me.
I could blame it on genetics, I am far from being afraid of what I can see. Yet I am always trying to understand the best direction, if I should take action or let things be when something gets in my veins.
I did so well for years, gave it all to God, prayed, lived, laughed and prayed some more.
Truth is in this awareness of my soul, awareness of who I am. Desires of the heart, desires of my soul have come alive. Something that not even long ago transpired.
I know it is God breathed; it has to be. Why in the world is He testing me.
Yet I am always in thought always wondering. Getting mad at myself because I can not shake this.
Fear of the unknown; never will I allow my blessings with the Good Lord be blown.
Things for a little bit seemed to get hard; all I can do is pray harder.
When you want something so bad you can taste it; Yet you have no clue if and when it will ever come to life..
I am a child of God I am a bride of Christ. I will always be alright.
But the sweetest soul I may ever know or connect with must come to life. I am not sure what in the world to do. But I always know I will be alright.
-------------------------
02/04/2019
Thank you Lord for this day and the days that have come to pass and those that await ahead.
Thank you for the beauty that surrounds me every day
Thank you for the Love I am allowed to feel even in a world that can be so very lonely and dark
Lord I hardly ever get it right when it comes to matters of the heart not to mention anything deep within my soul
Please guide and protect what is yours.
It is a blessing to have and do nice things, to experience so much in this world; good bad or indifferent
Please never let me take away from all you offer; and please you know me; please guide and protect all I am to be part of.
Guide and protect my Sweet Soul, my dream and all the love you allow.
As I know I am blessed, yet I feel like a burden or insignificant more times than I should.
I lift with all that I am up to you all the needs, desires and connections I have. May Your will be done.
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02/02/2019
I must count all that has never been as loss painfully to achieve life for eternity purposing daily not to fall into any desires or traps that this world says we must have.
No matter what that looks like or feels like. It will never be the pain Christ suffered.
If I am favored so be it. If not in this life that of the next.
Please Lord let me see things in this world for what they really are; may I stop reacting and walking this life based on feelings. Reality here and now Jesus; please always let me see life in front of me for what it really is, while never losing hope or the heart you have allowed me to love with.
