Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption**** (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)
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Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/iJCV_2H9xD0 “Way Maker” @ Leeland
https://youtu.be/lYy1f6VjDHU “Eye Of The Storm” @ Ryan Stevenson ft. GabeReal
https://youtu.be/fGF-MGGLpB0 “Multiplied” @ NeedToBreathe
https://youtu.be/KA9kSBv1QrI “Confidence” @ Sanctus Real
https://youtu.be/ffBG7JAvBiw “Lead Me” @ Sanctus Real
https://youtu.be/pIR24ubUf0E “The Elements” @ TobyMac
https://youtu.be/SZ-fghqc8Oo “From The Inside Out” @ Hillsong United
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you Jesus; for the song in my head as I awake this morning.
Rain down on your creation Lord https://youtu.be/LzguGPYYeTY “Let It Rain(Is There Anybody” @ Crowder ft. Mandisa
Meditation
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version,
NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion
Translation)
John 20:19 (NIV) Jesus Appears to His Disciples
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/Vm_ru8Ggr64 “Fountains” @ Josh Baldwin, Kalley- Came To My Rescue
https://youtu.be/7drEyGsF-Vo “Lifted Hands” @ Ryan Stevenson
Meditation
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version,
NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion
Translation)
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you for the laughter over silliness yesterday with all of us Lord!
I feel your presence; for this I am beyond blessed to know you.
Praying no matter what is or is not in this world. All I am connected seek the goodness, love and peace I have been given. They all get to feel and know you Lord.
Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)
https://youtu.be/c_NbZJqhK8c “10 Minutes To Help Strengthen Your Faith” @ Grace For Purpose
https://youtu.be/KjZ03ZFeE0s “Peace Be Still” @ Lauren Daigle
https://youtu.be/hrSJwO5dJXg “Even When It Hurts” @ Hillsong United
Weekend Worship with New Life Christian Church 3/28-3/29/2020 (recorded 3/26)
https://youtu.be/8KHQHZrM9_A #Perspective#FindtheBlessing-Fear” @Pastor Al D Squitieri from New Life Christian Church- Spring Hill (we do not own rights to the worship we cover during any services)
Meditation
Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version,
NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion
Translation)
A Time for Everything 3 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you Jesus for this new day. For the birds are still singing as I sip this coffee, finishing my Special K with fresh raspberries. The sweet sounds.
What is it as the sound faintly in the distance of cartoons playing in the other room and the birds singing so loudly even from the distance, we can hear with doors closed and my heart smiles as I open the doors to hear the bird’s song more clearly knowing I am blessed to be up again, smiling knowing that child camped out in the living room in their own little mess is sleepy while watching cartoons.
Like every morning before coming out walking past that mirror hoping I still recognize who you created me to be Jesus. How bored over the years I have gotten. Not able to know my worth and always struggling with what worth I truly had. Even knowing after many years walking with you and learning more and more even through the pains of choices made out of a heart to big knowing how much I can thrive when I truly know I am doing good for someone. Excelling when it is for those I deeply care for.
While crashing hard in my own self-pity and gloom as sometime the heart was so big the vision was blinded to know your truth. Or the expectation on the other side as the imagination with our ego’s collide and make messes all because we do not trust you enough to hear.
Our self-worth in the here and now and we just want to feel the love we know of from the inside out wrapped tightly around us. Being overwhelmed like that sweet smell of orange or Japanese Cherry blossoms in full bloom.
Thinking as I pull this wild hair growing like crazy, up into a ponytail and smile knowing how careful I have to be to not be lazy and grudged out just because I am hanging around the house. Just because I do not need to pull the business casual or business out to go off to work. Even though I have never been the Barbie doll type I must remain comfortably casual.
Thinking how I got to where I am today in my personal journey always changing my look because I was never good enough. Until that one day I realized I never really knew who it was I was never good enough for.
Those of this world; myself or that of the same God who allowed me life pulling me out of the fire a million times in this journey.
I will still never be a high maintenance kind of girl. Yes, do I like dressing up and working it. Absolutely! But I also have no issues getting these hands dirty and even at times like yesterday with starting that power washing; end up covered in mud.
Just like walking through this house as I do my morning once over coming out of my room of the disorganization and extra stuff just laying around this house.
Thinking, Oh how I could justify it really if I wanted to be mad and complain. After all with three other souls in this house all fully capable of acknowledging and taking care of what is offered to them on any given day.
All the phrases running through this mind maze. You know that of which we never really appreciate what we have until it is gone; or unless we have to work for it ourselves. Or the weary mom coming out with that motivation and respect talk.
Rightfully so and even on those days where I say I should just get a studio apartment; I do not need any of this; if those whom I have worked to allow stability for do not care to maintain it why should I.
Yes, all those things when I find things laying around and it makes me crazy. Justifying in this mind even in my worse days trying to find self-worth and make my way with little. I took care of what was mine and respected what was not. But here and now some only step up when it really can do something for them. Or they stay so lost in self absorption holding and repeating back I can’t because……
Oh, how that thought alone drives me crazy. I Can’t! We can do, we can be, we can achieve whatever we believe and turn to God to guide us through.
These thoughts sometimes. No, I am not complaining; not even frustrated as I could be and sure will be somedays to come.
It all sounds so familiar I am sure of it to Jesus.
How many of us are stuck refusing to open the door to let you in Father God; how many of us are refusing to acknowledge the blessings you give us in each breath allowed.
Blessed with sight, sound, a voice and so much beauty. Yet we take whatever we feel we need or could use to serve our own purpose at the time.
Not everyone in a purposed selfish way. But we all do it. Unfortunately, and maybe because we have this venue to seek and see instant gratification. We see more and more, and we call it entitlement. We all have excuses, and surly as a parent I have made excuses for the child of mine who almost died and suffered with a ruptured spleen; and over the years became chronically ill because of it and then because of enablement trying to protect what God already had.
It is not the protection or even what we do as parents to try and prevent harm. But the fact as parents sometimes we act without thought like we truly have the control. Missing what we should or should not, have done or said. Love my children; they were the blessing God allowed me to find my life.
But even when we have more than one child, and we teach them equally. They are their own unique beings.
Beautifully created through and by our Lord and Savior. Just as we are. Along the way no matter what we say or do as parents, grandparents, or even carrying souls stepping up in out. No matter what we have or do not have; or do. They as their own unique being will make their own choices in the freedom of will that the same God that allowed us; allows them.
Unfortunately, we cannot even if we were the most vial soul in this universe and forcibly try to make anyone believe in themselves, in love, or that what we believe to really mean anything, that we do.
We cannot make someone become selfless for those who are selfish, we cannot get those who are stuck where they think everything has to be about them and all they think they have. All we can do is speak truth in love and lead by example. Praying and sometimes yelling, crying or even walking away.
We cannot change someone from thinking that as long as they are given each new day to get up that there will always be new opportunities to seek with Christ leading the way.
Everyone of us have our own perception and way of handling things. Those that we have come through, those that we have seen, and those we are trapped in the middle of such as this Covid19 Pandemic.
In all honesty currently I do not even know what the statics are. I try not to watch the news, but scan for periodic updates to make sure if we are working our way towards our very own Mad Max Water world movie of the 20th century? Or this is the beginning of the real life Left Behind series. I am ready. Yet so ill informed and where will I go. What will I do when even this kid of mine still goes out three four times a day? What happens when the grand that has to work at the local market so they can pay their own bills walks out those doors each time. Or even my first-born who works in health care and is exposed. Like everyone I have the inner churnings of those thoughts that flow through and well if you know me; without even thought I am always having that Mom thing flow out of this mouth. Even in my day today. I guess when you make it through 57 and have had a very full life as I have. You tend to try without even thought to make others to proceed with caution.
Even when my own won’t listen to it. That is where I get frustrated the most is how could some be so selfish. It is truly not about me when I have to step out; and I do all I can as quickly as I can to distance myself and get back to my little save haven as it is for this day.
Most importantly I look to God for all things that are and are yet to come. I am not ready to check out nor am I ready to see or hear anyone I love is impacted by any of this mess health wise. As we knew the world, we know will never be the same again. However, facing the unseen elements with the shield of faith and the breast plate of righteousness is all I can do.
Besides speaking up, washing my hands and praying thanks for whatever may come.
Remaining steadfast myself, knowing how I wish I could just pour Gods wisdom over each one of these souls in this house. But I cannot force them to meet Jesus and build the relationship in Him as I found it.
So, as I work through my various devotionals and reading time this morning.
With all the things that this overactive mind maze fires off.
Thank you, Abba, for allowing me the ability to take my time these days more at peace, more rested. Not starting in the wee hours rushing through and running out the door.
Or just because I am awake unable to sleep as I am searching.
Allowing me to truly breathe you in and feeling your presence for more than a couple hours after this day starts.
Today, in my King James version, I am taken to Romans 6:23 “For the wages of SIN is death” really not wanting to share that out as I share many of my new readings.
Yet still in the book of Joshua and His journey and faith, as I work through The One Year Chronological Bible flipping over to Why Easter, feeling the strength and courage and knowing God is still in control.
I too could and sometimes still fall back to meism’s and make what I feel publicly about me, allowing broken dreams and that sometimes lonely-hearts club to beat me up.
No matter how deep I dive in or how much I read. Knowing, I am special in the Lord but no different than anyone else here on this earth. Except the fact I refuse to settle for anything less than what God has promised me.
I refuse to give away the peace for worldly goods; or lose my soul. Matthew 16:26 (NIV) 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?
https://youtu.be/yiePk16Yf3o “Lose My Soul” @TobyMac, Kirk Franklin, Mandisa
However, none of what I believe, well it does not make me any more special or different to the world or other souls that walk within it. Blessed to truly know personally almost all 500+ people on my social media account; or that of having a loving family even if they are not walking the walk I am on. To truly have friends that are different and are beautifully broken as I am.
There is truly a wow factor more times than not, to surly know how I have been filled up during some pretty crazy trying times and blessed to know be it a book, the Bible, on-line or real hand-held Bible, or electronic gadget I walk around in my hands; or even the words of souls filling me up in truth or their own reasons.
I know there are so many ways we have been given to reach out digging deeper into who you are Jesus. Even more so blessed to know, it is okay to not be okay; and to love others.
Knowing, no matter what I feel on this earth, or what to expect the day I get to meet Jesus face to face. Brings tears of joy even now while scaring the daylights out of me knowing I fell short from your grace from the day I came to this earth. Yet you love me anyway!
There is so much uncertain and unknown in this world; I know the one thing for sure is that I will get that chance.
Even in my foolish choices and/or mishaps. Be it I contributed to or allowed to transpire or even stumbled into within this world you allowed me to live, God.
Even when it hurts Jesus; I will praise you alone. Yes, there are some people, places and things I absolutely am in awe of.
Some I greatly love and imagine what it would be like to serve or just be there and have some of the beauty and goodness rub off on me 24/7. Pulling back fast and furious knowing how easy I could make them more than I should.
So easy we can make things beside you Jesus, the idols with simple admirations, spending all our time chasing them, chasing it. Easily consumed later to be overwhelmed by what just we see and hear in this world.
I choose to fight and grow forward with the blessings of the living Christ, Holy Spirit living and flowing in these veins.
I never have before knowing God and never will now after want to gain the world and lose my soul. I have seen the light and lived in the darkness. I know the truth, and this will never change.
However also knowing just because I have been blessed to have my name written in the book of life with the lamb’s blood.
God has created us all with purpose, love and grace for equality; and while doing my best to keep it real and love all people for who they are not what they have or do; well we all are mare humans.
No matter if the one who is on center stage is still just a dude or Chica, or all the places of this world were laid at our feet in vast abundance. Never must we spend too much time and effort chasing that of the world while pushing you out Father God.
To know you God, we know we are we are truly blessed yet blinded to even see things right were we sit or stand.
The great unknowns may forever be. But one absolutely is that things of this world will always come and go. Everything will have a time and place on this earth.
It is where our souls are will seek eternity after the vessels are removed.
Believe what you must; we all believe in something, even if it is to not believe in anything. We all get to choose.
For me I know no matter how big my heart gets out of control, blinding and burning in compassion because I genuinely care or really need the truth to just have that love of my Sweet Soul King that loves me from the inside out to wrap around and rub all the goodness off on me daily; breathing in the essence of purity and truth; to just knowing what it is like to have been wanted or needed.
Well sometimes that need and compassion blinds me to burn for those I never would be more than a current chess pawn in the chess game of life.
As the echoes of their laughter in the darkness are no more.
Jesus has leveled the board game, sandbox or playing field. We all get to choose; and I will always survive with my soul intact. I can assure if nothing else in this world of truth that is in the depths I am allowed to swim.
No matter what the game is, no matter how trapped, captured, panicked, doubted, overwhelmed, unloved, or even lost this world offers any of us; when the beauty fades in all we chase, desire or create. No matter how much pain, sorrow that comes in the loss.
There is only one truth. We are all created equal falling short of the Glory of God the Father and created, Son of God Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit that allows us to live within when we accept Jesus into our lives.
Will I even knowing how loved I truly am by the one who created the stars and moon; still at times falling short and allow this world overwhelm me for what was or what I wish was or even currently is. Most likely I will stumble; but knowingly landing in the arms of Jesus Christ.
I will still have that deep indescribable peace; only Jesus Christ the Prince of Peace allows us.
I will still choose to follow Him and do my best to leave the grave behind while here and now; and believe and know just how precious this gift given to choose has been.
Will you?
There is a time for everything, and everything has it’s time.
What will you choose in this here and now time?
No matter what you choose or believe; I pray you have a blessed day or evening wherever you are. Stay safe, stay aware and know nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass!
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Sun shines brightest if you look past the dark
In the brightest of stars; darkest of angels; It is you dear Lord; only you that will save us.
If it should not be known there is just nothing else to say.
Death becomes us all, eventually; Some sooner, some later not to worry, not to dismay; Influenza, Covid19, Heroin, cocaine, Methamphetamine, sedatives, antidepressants or even ecstasy. I ask the believer where is your faith, death where is your sting?
Long life, or long fight. It is up to you how you have chosen your journey and any steps or battles.
Sorry if this the truth is offensive and your nerves are rattled.
We all get to choose; this indeed we do. Who we love, who we wait for, who we dream of, and that of who we allow our connections to lose? Take no offense if you are fooled. Get back up and fight forward with all the best of you. This is no surprise it will never be if; but when it will happen to you.
We all get to decide if we will go left or right, treat our vessels with care and appreciate the sound of life. It matters not if you are a son, daughter, husband or wife. Mother or father extended family or friend. In the end, live your life with purpose and not with any spite.
This world is hard, getting harder every second
So very painful and lonely when there is truly not one, we can trust, one that comes to check on us; even those friends we wish we had as a pain in the neck
Never lose faith, do not let your heart harden, if you feel it cry out to Jesus now before it is too late
For there is nothing while you are alive in Him you cannot do
Once you are gone, if you thought your destiny here was bad your torture through eternity is horrible and far beyond
Scream from the top of your lungs even if you cannot hear; I assure you do it now Jesus is waiting, and you need not fear
No this is not to be doom and gloom or that negative nelly in a room
I already know where I belong and to whom. Just wondering if you do?
Does it shake me, break me with tears at times that flow; watching the chaos all around and that way it did not have to go.
It will get crazier, that is not a lie, for all of us not just you but me also, be it I have many more days or tomorrow I die; I am okay in my spirit, in my soul so whatever happens; keep it right and do not fail bad for feeling when you release and cry.
Sadness for the babies, for the youth for the evil that will consume. Know I lived I loved in every breath from you dear Lord.
I know those dreams were real the cycle I did not understand the warnings left on selective eyes, deaf ears; caught up in this mind maze of self-pain for allowing someone to know I could care
Know I forever love your soul, filled with Jesus so righteous, innocent yet bold
Nothing of this world could ever be done to change the truth that is has ever been told
Someday I will sit on that porch looking out over the horizon
Knowing God had a greater plan than I will ever know. Someday I pray, I am surrounded in all that love, mercy and grace shining brightly waiting patiently for the story to unfold.
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