07.Wk1­_2020_July(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)

Date: 07/04/2020 Saturday

 

Happy 244^th Birthday America.   Can we kindly pull it together now and start unifying in peace and growth forward so we will have many more?

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/cC8pdPys-zk   “The Promise” @Tracy Chapman

https://youtu.be/7VBex8zbDRs “Gravity” @John Mayer

https://youtu.be/aIdZ5KRiakM  “Here Again” @Elevation Worship  

https://youtu.be/nnzEJy4c9FE  “Heart Wide Open” @Matt Brock

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Psalm 33:12 (TLP)   
¹² Blessed and prosperous is that nation who has God as their Lord!
They will be the people he has chosen for his own.

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you for this new day.   Thank you for whatever is up ahead.

Father of all space and time.   You know where we have all been and where we will end up.  Lead me please, lead me through your will, and all that is sustaining giving, breathing, and doing life.    

Desires on that edge six feet does not look so bad when we are seeking that forever and filling those moments, we think we need to have.    All that we do and later our lives coming unglued.

John Mayer sings it best with his song of Edge of Desire;  love is just a dream that keeps us walking, setting fire to everything we see.      Wanting so bad we go back on the things we promise things we believe.   Leaving us to fear you will forget about me.

All those dreams we chase leaving us tattered in torn in many cases forgetting to give thanks to the one that gave us the freedom of will and choice in the first place.

Something about the blues calling out on the guitar even sometimes reminding us just how ignorance really is bliss.   As anyone who feels  the music can feel the promise flowing through the veins as the speed of light just as the dreams that come in our sleep or just across all those vision boards.

For whatever the reasons give me one, give me a million the warmth of genuine desires always remembering no one can save us.   No one can be, no can do only that which we allow.

Thank you, Father God, Jesus, Father Time.    For all of me then, all of me now and anything I may be in whatever tomorrows I am given.

No more tears in this life; no for we all must come to terms with our heart’s desires and why.   It is no big secret for me, I will always have more inside of me to give, than anyone will truly wish to receive.      

That is okay, life changes just like that, discarding what was for what could be, new flavors reasons that no longer matter.  Just as long as we make sure the finger points the other way.    Excuses, when truth is; it will always take two to play.   All the while we just talk about it and forget to pray.

 

What is it we are doing in humanity to show love is not even close to what God showed us in 1 John 4:9-10 (TLP) ⁹ The light of God’s love shined within us^[a] when he sent his matchless^[b] Son into the world so that we might live through him.^[c] 10 This is love:^[d] He loved us long before we loved him. It was his love, not ours. He proved it by sending his Son to be the pleasing sacrificial offering to take away our sins.^[e]   

But hey what do I know anyway about love.   I have always been everyone’s sweetheart and their best friend.    No one unfortunately is a stranger.   On my really good days its golden as I move through life acknowledging and just letting people be who they are with no expectations and moving on before getting caught up, dirty or hurt.

As time moved on and I pick up more and more of God’s armor somehow, I forget to shut the door of whatever that is deep inside that believes everyone until I cannot.  Leaving me sometimes along the way a little chipped and broken.    

Man, for the longest time ever dedicated to only you God; finding me, and learning to see the beauty in every storm, finding peace while the world was collapsing around me.

Still blessed with that peace, still knowing they only absolute is you.   Yet 2020 man has so many twists and turns and whatever was that normal has been washed away forever.

Thinking about how we lost control of what we never had in the first place.  But at least our days flowed even if some of us went right over that waterfall not thinking about ahead.

 

Someone is always watching.   Just the observer because that is what they do, the one who is out there collecting for their next move.     Children all around us watch and listen to everything we do.

Many do not care anymore; so much harm and discord they are left to fight their way out of and move forward.

Who are we, as I see today is the 244^th birthday of America?      Where nothing is free and those who consider themselves brave are really just the ones causing chaos and destruction killing in the streets all of what America was to be.

Those true heroes that signed up to fight the battles, serve and protect are left broken, bleeding, knocked off their feet and truly rattled.

Happy Birthday to the America God came to the world and sacrificed so selflessly. 

I have no clue what or if tomorrow will bring.

My world one day at time trying to maintain this inner harmony.   

 In love with a dream, yes, every now and again I talk about it that which contains all that can be with that one Sweet Soul King and I am forever their Queen.     

Too many movies of History, too much thinking out loud at times it seems..

Yet here I am every now and again it comes alive; What will it be, I have no clue; I am just me in search of the real your soul your truth!

As I am thinking how funny the little campout was last night with my sidekick, under the stars of hello kitty and the beast of 100+ pounds taking up my little full-size bed.     Currently listening to those magic fingers of John Mayer jamming in my head.   

Hoping the day dries out early so I can get back to hand painting this shelter I have been blessed.    Yes, take on projects to preoccupy and not think too much or what never will be or just does not make sense.

 

Where am I going Lord?  I never thought I would make it this far.   Here and now still believing in you and all the moon has to offer and wishing on those falling stars.

 

I love you now, I loved you then.    Never been the one to play the game of life and am far too transparent to pretend.

 

Someday maybe is my chance to laugh and light the world yet here we are again.

Forever knowing I am not enough unless you come.  Will you meet me here again?

Walking through the valley, to the mountains, acknowledging God alone will shape all we are to be.

Father God life is what it is until it is not.  Please come, meet us here.   Not for even one brief exhale can we be anything more but what our choices you allow. 

Heal us, awaken, and wash over this universe.   Shine boldly with healing and forgiveness.   Every soul needs you now!    

I may be stupid to this world we live; but Jesus you alone will ever be.   Everything else comes and goes.  Everything of this world is temporary.

The toys, games, gifts and all the mistakes, pains, and sorrows.

May we pick up our pieces and grow forward in you Lord, in Unity shining and fighting for all that is good all that is justice.

I can pray over and over again to protect the innocence and heal those who have made it out of that which should have never been.

Lord we know better.   All the collateral damage for the personal gains of those who call it to be.

I am no where near perfect but Jesus we know I know there is so much more to this life than taking all you can get.

May we all take up our crosses as we all believe in something.   I believe Father God you can turn this world around if you want to.    Show all of us left standing how to do so.

Show me, what next and what my forever is; even if only for the second of one last exhale.

May I never stop loving, may I never stop just being me in love for all those am connected or those yet to come.     

 

May we all know we are more than what this world will give or take.  Everything we work for is temporary,  it is the brokenness we lift up in all we need to be for those who are barely holding on.   Maybe it is for us that is what really the depth and meaning.   

Here I am with the eyes of this heart that always says way too much.  Pulling me closer to the edge yet forever knowing we all get to choose no matter what we own what we say and what we will do.

Trusting Jesus, wanting the trust in all things even when I cannot see.

May I somehow learn the signs, know the difference, trust in humanity in time, when tomorrow is never promised.   Sweet Lord above please wash over us all; send me in purity for all your ways and reasons and not mine.

 

Guide all I am connected in healing through the light shining brightly even when we are broken.  

Healing and comfort for all the losses Father God that so many good souls are going through.

Healing Lord for all the physical and emotional elements.

Prayers we are a nation not too late.    Prayers for all those put in leadership roles.  Prayers for all who show no remorse and will continue to take lives over and over again.

Prayers Jesus hear this heart; you know who I am; you know who they are!

If tomorrow does not come; may every soul I have ever been blessed always know their worth and never stop trying to remember who you are and meeting Jesus Christ, your son!

The greatest blessing in all forms of life is that of nearness to you God; where in all the chaos and the unknown is eternal peace.

 Beautiful song https://youtu.be/IgQx0902wLg   “I’d Love To Be Your Last” @Clay Walker

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

John 4:23-24 (TPT)
^23–24 From here on, worshiping the Father will not be a matter of the right place but with the right heart. For God is a Spirit,^[a] and he longs to have sincere worshipers who worship and adore him in the realm of the Spirit and in truth.”

Psalms 100:4 (TPT)
⁴ You can pass through his open gates with the password of praise.
Come right into his presence with thanksgiving.   Come bring your thank offering to him and affectionately bless his beautiful name!

============================================

Date: 07/03/2020 Friday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y   “Even If” @MercyMe 

https://youtu.be/kXQtPGE_Cso “We Cry Out” @Jeremy Camp the Worship Project  

https://youtu.be/vU2hPIwqbTk   “I Will Be Here” @Steven Curtis Chapman

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Proverbs 14:34 (TLP)   ³⁴ A nation is exalted by the righteousness of its people,
but sin heaps disgrace upon the land. 

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Jesus, for this new day.   Thank you for all the sweet moments in time that give us hope and promise to look forward to.    As I realized through this mind maze that came last night.  Just like that the truth reveals then there really none.    The art of the illusionist comes in many forms. 

 Even our own as we see what we want to see, believe what we need to believe, and the world is full of great scripts and even greater actors and actresses.

Even If it is real at that moment in time, what is real in the end.    Even if, sometimes you win some and sometimes you lose some.

 

Man, those moments of losing bad when I just could not.   You Jesus pulled be up and gave me that hope making it all go away with just a swipe of your hand.     My hope Jesus has always been you alone since the day I was found.

It is you God that must always be first in all of me.     How that looks, how that will turn out to be.  

I know Lord for life ever after is all you I need to breathe.  

 

Forgive me for dreaming if is wrong, forgive me for the airways where the soul sours higher and farther that anyone could ever know.    Forgive me and bring me back to reality if this is not what belongs.

 

It has and always will be well with my soul Jesus.   For you alone have made sure of that.

So, show me what next, and who.   The real you within in.    Erase anything that is not blessed by you God now and always beyond that forever and a day.

This is more than words you know my heart deep in my soul. You know all things dear Lord.    Come what may.    I know you Jesus will never change and until you take me home, I will be here.

Waiting, forging forward in all the depth of dreams and spin of nightmare screams.   As the world becomes more real then stranger it seems.  

Thank  you for this day, the moments in time.  Connections lost and those you have allowed.

I could cry out not understanding, hoping, scared to death or just remain in your face-down.

Guide my words, my actions and all I will or will not do.    Shine your light through all I am.

Loyal, dedicated to a fault for all I care.   Would run the other way if it means they will be safe.    The cost has already been paid.  There will never be enough money, or misery that can ever be what you mean to me each and every day.

So, flashes of family, flashes of that sweet soul, flashes of what was, is or will ever be allowed to know.    Thank you, Jesus, for calling, thank you for even in the split second in time that one forever dream will come to life.

Thank you for all of this journey.       

Forgive what should not be, directing us for all that is eternal and forever be.      God, I love you and all that which was sacrificed so we could live.    Even little ole me. 

Many will never get it, be blinded by the world or foolish pride.    I wish no harm no foul on any of them even those who are evil scheming the next demise.

Jesus you cannot come soon enough.   Wash through all this land.    You truly know where my heart strings are entangled that I will never lie.

Wishing and wanting all that is you,  wishing and wanting beyond me blessed by you.

Father God no matter what is or what will be.   Precious hearts, everyone who believes.   We all are going through something that needs to be cleaned.

Wash us Father, show us the way.    Allowing us to remain in you, releasing us in peace for what should never be.     For all your children are feeling this pressure Father God.   We all need you.  You know all things we do, all things we believe all things that in the end absolute will be.

So, no matter if what I want in this day that has come to life you alone will always be alive in all life can bring.

Jesus, what is, may not be in the end what will be.    Tomorrow is never promised so today.  Wash through me, this land healing us and in you set us free.

Jesus, King of Kings, Lord of Lords.    You can take me anytime if that is your will.  Until then may I always purpose eternal forever nothing less, nothing more.   Remove the illusion even if it closes the wrong doors.  

https://youtu.be/r0b1o2aciME    “Weapon” @Vertical To believe in one that has created all things and over life see His good works.  Is far more easy then believing in humanity even when you are so close you feel the truth but have not yet been allowed to believe.

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Psalms 42-46 (TPT) Book 2
Psalms of suffering and redemption

A Cry for Revival^[a]

42 For the Pure and Shining One
A contemplative poem for instruction, by the prophetic singers of Korah’s clan^[b]
1 I long to drink of you, O God,
drinking deeply from the streams of pleasure
flowing from your presence.
My longings overwhelm me for more of you!^[c]
2 My soul thirsts, pants, and longs for the living God.
I want to come and see the face of God.
³ Day and night my tears keep falling
and my heart keeps crying for your help
while my enemies mock me over and over, saying,
“Where is this God of yours? Why doesn’t he help you?”
⁴ So I speak over my heartbroken soul,
“Take courage. Remember when you used to be
right out front leading the procession of praise
when the great crowd of worshipers
gathered to go into the presence of the Lord?
You shouted with joy as the sound of passionate celebration
filled the air and the joyous multitude of lovers
honored the festival of the Lord!”
⁵ So then, my soul, why would you be depressed?
Why would you sink into despair?
Just keep hoping and waiting on God, your Savior.
For no matter what, I will still sing with praise,
for living before his face is my saving grace!
⁶ Here I am depressed and downcast.
Yet I will still remember you as I ponder the place
where your glory streams down from the mighty mountaintops, lofty and majestic—the mountains of your awesome presence.^[d]
7 My deep need calls out to the deep kindness of your love.
Your waterfall of weeping sent waves of sorrow
over my soul, carrying me away,
cascading over me like a thundering cataract.
⁸ Yet all day long God’s promises of love pour over me.
Through the night I sing his songs,
for my prayer to God has become my life.
⁹ I will say to God, “You are my mountain of strength;
how could you forget me?
Why must I suffer this vile oppression of my enemies—
these heartless tormentors who are out to kill me?”
¹⁰ Their wounding words pierce my heart
over and over while they say,
“Where is this God of yours?”
¹¹ So I say to my soul,
“Don’t be discouraged. Don’t be disturbed.
For I know my God will break through for me.”
Then I’ll have plenty of reasons to praise him all over again.
Yes, living before his face is my saving grace!

Light and Truth

43 For the Pure and Shining One, by the prophetic singers of Korah’s clan^[e]
A contemplative poem for instruction
¹ God, clear my name.
Plead my case against the unjust charges
of these ungodly workers of wickedness.
Deliver me from these lying degenerates.
² For you are where my strength comes from^[f] and my protector,
so why would you leave me now?
Must I be covered with gloom
while the enemy comes after me, gloating with glee?
³ Pour into me the brightness of your daybreak!
Pour into me your rays of revelation-truth!
Let them comfort and gently lead me onto the shining path,
showing the way into your burning presence,
into your many sanctuaries of holiness.
⁴ Then I will come closer to your very altar
until I come before you, the God of my ecstatic joy!
I will praise you with the harp that plays in my heart,
to you, my God, my magnificent God!
⁵ Then I will say to my soul,
“Don’t be discouraged; don’t be disturbed,
for I fully expect my Savior-God to break through for me.
Then I’ll have plenty of reasons to praise him all over again.”
Yes, living before his face is my saving grace!

Wake Up, Lord, We’re in Trouble

44 For the Pure and Shining One, by the prophetic singers of Korah’s clan
A contemplative poem for instruction

The Past

^1–2 God, we’ve heard about all the glorious miracles
you’ve done for our ancestors in days gone by.
They told us about the ancient times, how by your power
you drove out the ungodly nations from this land,
crushing all their strongholds and giving the land to us.
Now the people of Israel cover the land
from one end to the other,
all because of your grace and power!
³ Our forefathers didn’t win these battles by their own strength
or their own skill or strategy.
But it was through the shining forth of your radiantpresence
and the display of your mighty power.
You loved to give them victory,
for you took great delight in them.
⁴ You are my God, my King!
It’s now time to decree majesties for Jacob!
⁵ Through your glorious name and your awesome power
we can push through to any victory and defeat every enemy.
⁶ For I will not trust in the weapons of the world;^[g]
I know they will never save me.
⁷ Only you will be our Savior from all our enemies.
All those who hate us you have brought to shame.
⁸ So now I constantly boast in you.
I can never thank you enough!
Pause in his presence

The Present

⁹ But you have turned your back on us; you walked off and left us!
You’ve rejected us, tossing us aside in humiliating shame.
You don’t go before us anymore in our battles.
¹⁰ We retreat before our enemies in defeat,
for you are no longer helping us.
Those who hate us have invaded our land
and plundered our people.
¹¹ You have treated us like sheep in the slaughter pen,
ready to be butchered.
You’ve scattered us to the four winds.
¹² You have sold us as slaves for nothing!
You have counted us, your precious ones, as worthless.
¹³ You have caused our neighbors to despise and scorn us.
All that are around us mock and curse us.
¹⁴ You have made us the butt of their jokes.
Disliked by all, we are the laughingstock of the people.
^15–16 There’s no escape from this constant curse, this humiliation!
We are despised, jeered, overwhelmed by shame,
and overcome at every turn
by our hateful and heartless enemies.
¹⁷ Despite all of this, we have not forgotten you;
we have not broken covenant with you.
¹⁸ We have not betrayed you; our hearts are still yours.
Our steps have not strayed from your path.
¹⁹ Yet you have crushed us,
leaving us in this wilderness place of misery and desperation.^[h]
With nowhere else to turn,
death’s dark door seems to be the only way out.
^20–21 If we had forsaken your holy name, wouldn’t you know it?
You’d be right in leaving us.
If we had worshiped before other gods,
no one would blame you for punishing us.
God, you know our every heart secret.
You know we still want you!
²² Because of you we face death threats every day.
Like martyrs we are dying daily.
We are seen as lambs lined up to be slaughtered as sacrifices.

The Future

²³ So wake up, Lord God!
Why would you sleep when we’re in trouble?
Are you forsaking us forever?
²⁴ You can’t hide your face any longer from us!
How could you forget our agonizing sorrow?
²⁵ Now we lay facedown, sinking into the dust of death,
the quicksand of the grave.
²⁶ Arise, awake, and come to help us, O Lord.
Let your unfailing love save us from this sorrow!

The Wedding Song

45 For the Pure and Shining One, by the prophetic singers of Korah’s clan
A contemplative song of instruction for the Loved One
To the melody of “Lilies”^[i]
1 My heart is on fire, boiling over with passion.
Bubbling up within me are these beautiful lyrics
as a lovely poem to be sung for the King.
Like a river bursting its banks, I’m overflowing with words,
spilling out into this sacred story.^[j]

His Royal Majesty

² Beautiful! Beautiful! Beyond the sons of men!^[k]
Elegant grace pours out through every word you speak.^[l]
Truly God has anointed you, his favored one, for eternity!
³ Now strap your lightning-sword of judgment upon your side,
O mighty warrior, so majestic!
You are full of beauty and splendor as you go out to war!
⁴ In your glory and grandeur go forth in victory!
Through your faithfulness and meekness
the cause of truth and justice will stand.
Awe-inspiring miracles are accomplished by your power,
leaving everyone dazed and astonished!
⁵ Your wounding leaves men’s hearts defeated
as they fall before you broken.
⁶ Your glory-kingdom, O God, endures forever,
for you are enthroned to rule with a justice-scepter in your hand!
⁷ You are passionate for righteousness and you hate lawlessness.
This is why God, your God,
crowns you with bliss above your fellow kings.
He has anointed you, more than any other,
with his oil of fervent joy,
the very fragrance of heaven’s gladness.
⁸ Your royal robes release the scent of suffering love for your bride;^[m]
the odor of aromatic incense is upon you.^[n]
From the pure and shining place,^[o] lovely music
that makes you glad is played for your pleasure.

Her Royal Majesty

⁹ The daughters of kings, women of honor,
are maidens in your courts.
And standing beside you,
glistening in your pure and golden glory,
is the beautiful bride-to-be!^[p]
10 Now listen, daughter, pay attention, and forget about your past.
Put behind you every attachment to the familiar,
even those who once were close to you!
¹¹ For your royal Bridegroom is ravished by your beautiful brightness.
Bow in reverence before him, for he is your Lord!
¹² Wedding presents pour in from those of great wealth.^[q]
The royal friends of the Bridegroom shower you with gifts.
¹³ As the princess bride enters the palace,
how glorious she appears within the holy chamber,
robed with a wedding dress embroidered with pure gold!
¹⁴ Lovely and stunning she leads the procession with all her bridesmaids^[r]
as they come before you, her Bridegroom King.
¹⁵ What a grand, majestic entrance!
A joyful, glad procession as they enter the palace gates!
¹⁶ Your many sons will one day be kings, just like their Father.
They will sit on royal thrones all around the world.
¹⁷ I will make sure the fame of your name
is honored in every generation as all the people praise you,
giving you thanks forever and ever!

God on Our Side

46 For the Pure and Shining One, by the prophetic singers of Korah’s clan
A poetic song to the melody of “Hidden Things”^[s]
1 God, you’re such a safe and powerful place to find refuge!
You’re a proven help in time of trouble—
more than enough and always available whenever I need you.
² So we will never fear
even if every structure of support^[t] were to crumble away.
We will not fear even when the earth quakes and shakes,
moving mountains and casting them into the sea.
³ For the raging roar of stormy winds and crashing waves
cannot erode our faith in you.
Pause in his presence
⁴ God has a constantly flowing river whose sparkling streams
bring joy and delight to his people.
His river flows right through the city of God Most High,
into his holy dwelling places.^[u]
5 God is in the midst of his city,^[v] secure and never shaken.
At daybreak his help will be seen with the appearing of the dawn.
⁶ When the nations are in uproar with their tottering kingdoms,
God simply raises his voice
and the earth begins to disintegrate before him.
⁷ Here he comes!
The Commander!
The mighty Lord of Angel Armies is on our side.
The God of Jacob fights for us!
Pause in his presence
^8–9 Everyone look!
Come and see the breathtaking wonders of our God.
For he brings both ruin and revival.
He’s the one who makes conflicts end
throughout the earth,
breaking and burning every weapon of war.
¹⁰ Surrender your anxiety!^[w]
Be silent and stop your striving and you will see that I am God.
I am the God above all the nations,
and I will be exalted throughout the whole earth.
¹¹ Here he stands!
The Commander!
The mighty Lord of Angel Armies is on our side!
The God of Jacob fights for us!
Pause in his presence

============================================

Date: 07/02/2020 Thursday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/rDL4x23F0kY  “Come Back To Me” @Keith Urban 

https://youtu.be/Kpk9PfOVFQk  “Alone” @Hollyn  

https://youtu.be/dJvLE3jJq20 “Killing Me Softly” @The Fugees  

https://youtu.be/wzVyTEDnj4g  “Red Red Wine” @UB40 (Bob Marley)  

 https://youtu.be/7rK6O0YtBRY  “Speak Life” @TobyMac  

https://youtu.be/IJNR0lxbIP4  “Gracefully Broken” @Matt Redman ft. Tasha Cobbs Leonard  

 

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Jeremiah 17:9-10 (NIV)  ⁹ The heart is deceitful above all things
    and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?  ¹⁰ “I the Lord search the heart
    and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct,
    according to what their deeds deserve.”

 

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Father God, for this new day. 

 Thank you for the throw back Thursday memories that just gives me that five minutes to purposely look back at those photos and smile for days gone by.   Thank you for the YouTube.com suggestions of music that generally start my day motivation.  

Thinking about the KU Come back to me song that was waiting for me.     Reminding me of my youthful mind how I always believed if you love something set it free.  If it is meant to be it will always come back.   If it does not you know that God has it souring some where so you can grow forward for something better.   

So how do I decide what songs will trigger what writing, what Bible verses will get posted.    I roll with what is waiting for me.    In my daily devotionals, and Biblegateway.com    and sometimes when those things that just come back in view when looking out at the blessings of given another new day.    Even in a world where 2020 has made it perfectly clear.   Nothing is ever the same each new day we are allowed up.

Yet, we all get to choose and teach those that coming up behind us all about the blessings of freedom of will and choice.

Feeling a bit nostalgic today knowing this time way back when I was the size of a house and ready to give birth to my son.  

 Funny how life changes us yet keeps something deep within.     As I was thinking of what the music was like back then and found what some deemed to be 100 most iconic songs of all time.  https://youtu.be/qB8j1LnkXRM “Top 100 Most Iconic Songs of All Time” @Cox Content  

  Maybe, maybe not.  I do know I can remember many of them. 

But here we are in the here and now and man where do all those gems go when you hear some things that are considered music today.

I am not knocking anyone for their choices in music.   I like everything but that foul mouth stuff that leaves nothing to the imagination, much less the respect of how we should treat one another as humans even if we are doing things that should always stay behind closed doors.

Yes, today the mind maze is just swirling.   How life back then seemed to just happen and move on.   When bad things happen, you dealt with them and then moved on .

 

Yes, I guess if you think about the historical feuds like the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s the battles of anger and hate went on for some time.  But man, nothing like we have in todays world.    And I do really do not think even though there has always been bad things.   It was not just so day to day. 

So very blessed for the music we have today, and all of those beautiful story tellers allowing images of love burn in our hearts and hope deep down in our soul.      

Every single thing we listen to, watch, or even speak out matter.   Beyond kindness, every word speaks or takes life.     Far beyond even doing things just because we can, or for any selfless or selfish reasons.      Every word that we release or consume matter deeply for days beyond anything we will remember tomorrow.    Until it comes flooding back.

So, what do we do when those we least expect release words that change how we feel?

Good, bad, or indifferent.    When love breaks through, it washes through us like a title wave.    Yes, almost like God whispering a name.    Two of my all-time favorite men that sing to my spirit and heart there.    One that keeps doing the best they can shining brightly towards Jesus, the other you just melts your soul when you think of the love that you can feel coming out when you hear his voice and story played out.

 

Yes, I am a classic rock upbeat old school kind of girl; and it had been years since I listened to country.   Constantly feeding my spirit with everything that only God could fit in.    As he took me on this journey to show me who I was and heal me with great understanding.  It really is okay to not always be okay.     It is okay to tell your story and not have hate and anger swallowing you up.

It is because of music and the ability to want something better, want to understand.  Even though before I knew what 2020 was really going to be like.  Clarity was my word for the year.   To find what it meant to and for me and really what in general.

WOW is all I can say.   The more I trying to understand things,  the more I just do not understand.

Love wide open for the taken, yet so tied up and knows filled with what if’s face planting in wants, desires all the while sinking in a billion excuses of it just cannot be.

 

Clear is mud 2020.     Good thing I love big ole mud trucks and watching all the laughter and fun as we all get stuck and find our way out!    Little dirt never hurt anyone; allot of brokenness does not either.   Not unless you convince yourself you cannot keep growing forward doing the best you can with whatever you get to work with.

 

So here I am Lord with my arms wide open, waiting for you to set me on fire.   No matter who gets anything I am, do or say.    Here I am wide open, yes with the fire flowing deep within this soul.  Waiting and wanting someone to just trace the lines of every scar back through all the love that never was, all there is waiting to escape all that you God have waiting a new.

Love so misused, misunderstood and lost.   Yet you Jesus poured out more life and abilities for those who genuinely want something better.

Far from perfect with all of the hills and valleys.   Yet we get to choose.   

In my life, no it has never been easy, and man am I set in my ways after so many years of doing it on my own.      However, the day that I finally realized I was never alone even though what many consider normal and healthy  never having that loving, kind support system.

Everything I achieved was because somewhere along the way I knew I wanted something better.   Something more than just giving up and taking whatever, anyone gave me.

Far from perfect with lots of mistakes.  But blessed beyond any messes that would leave me feeling inadequate or insignificant.      Yes, even in my current life I have went through moments where I allowed people to make me feel all those negative things.  

Example, always knowing it is not about what I can give but why and when you offer up the help that is asked for, and they truly reflect who they are not.

 When you give much from setting up folks in a good place to have a good head start on making their way and they throw it away for drugs or alcohol.  It breaks your heart or at least mine.      When you believe in others more than they believe in themselves and you see them lose the battles to be just a statistic.     It breaks your heart or at least mine.     When you openly do not care about what you do for others, but you just want them to be real.  Real for themselves and real with you.    To find out they just do not have it in them.   And trust washes away as the breaking of your heart floods with let downs and what next.

You lock yourself away behind the walls of what you never want to feel.    When you have a servant’s heart it can be painful.   When you do not stay within the lines and circled up with those who truly know what it is like to purpose seeing with the eyes and heart of Jesus every day.

So, 2020 WOW.    Especially as I look back and smile for being blessed with another throw back Thursday.    Not sure who created that but cute and it works.

Even if I am not that fit little spitfire with long grown hair any longer; as the thirty plus years sitting on my rear.  Even through the years where I would keep it together and then let life get me down and quit.

Still blessed to know there is so much more within this life.   Each day the good Lord allows your eyes to open, and air to flow.    Be thankful no matter what was or is.  We will never know what will be until we get there. 

 

Yes, we can make plans and get really close or even think we make it.  But ultimately God has the final say of what will be.   I can assure in my life especially these past couple years.   It has been that roller coaster ride of a lifetime.       Even in the here and now.     Clarity I must laugh out loud and know it is clear as mud.    But the best laughter and love comes when you find that mercy in the dirt.

So, in this here and now finally concluding yesterday why I get panicked when I think about different things even when I know who is in control and who has got me.     I have to say thank you really for those buds I have met and chatted with over time.

Sometimes you just have to say it out loud to really get what you want others to understand, to be released of what you need to let go of in the first place.

Yes, those talking in riddles sometimes is the best you can do even when you know deep inside what the truth is.

We have to quit fighting with the spiritual enemies that hold us back even if what is may is not perfectly clear.   God has already won the war.  

So, with that I only have allot of love and thanks for all who have allowed me to find the lesson and move forward in this day to day.

Those who are forever deeply flowing through these veins even if I do not know why yet.   Or if I ever will.

The release of truth unseen, and that which sometimes has to make you keep trying to understand to find that door wide open.   Just waiting and knowing even on the bad days it everything will always be more than alright.  As control is an illusion and the only one in control is God.    We get to choose what wave to ride.   Today for whatever the reasons I am feeling much lighter when it for the past month I have feeling just twisted over so much that normally is not who I am.     Thankful for all you Jesus and all you allow me to work through and all you allow me to connect in this journey.      https://youtu.be/OD3F7J2PeYU  “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright” @Bob Marley 

 

Father God please be with all who are in need and needing the load to be shifted or removed.   Please guide us in your will and allow us to see clarity even in such an unknown world.

Lord may I never stop wanting love as you intended, may I never stop desiring to give and receive all that I am for something better.

Thank you for this day and all of what is ahead in any tomorrow’s I have been given.

Thank you, Jesus, for all that has helped me to be me.   May no matter how bad it hurts at times, always have your eyes to see what can be.

Hear all the unspoken prayers and cries out this day Lord.  Guide and protect all who are innocent, all who believe!

 

Absolute thought of my day; stop sharing so many thoughts out loud that just need to be left in the drawer 😊

----------

Blown away with afternoon thoughts.    Sometimes it is what you say and not what you do.  Sometimes the soul just knows and other times it just okay cool!  I miss you I do.  How beautiful to know that, so much in that truth.

I can imagine you.     You are the rain I need to wash over me.   Through me and just wash me away with and for you.  

Jesus I am face down in awe of all you lead me to.

Truth will always matter, and the truth is you.   Even when it does not align with anything we do.

This soul flying through the airways when it is time you will feel it too.   My God is alive with love so great beyond space or time, forever has not gotten a clue.

Wash over me, with all you are.  Trace every line I have to every scar.    Don’t worry any longer, really God has got this, God has got me, and he really has you!

Thank you, Jesus, for all of this.   Right here right now we are connected.    Love beyond all things God the inside out.   What next is spectacular I see it, do you?   There are no doubts.

-----------

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Psalms 5:2-3 (NIV)      ² Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray.  ³ In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.

 
 

Deuteronomy 33:27 (NIV)   ²⁷ The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.  He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, ‘Destroy them!’

============================================

 

Date: 07/01/2020 Wednesday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

Lord the songs that pop in this head  or the vibes that keep me moving.  Thank you!  

https://youtu.be/R9rz6Aa1ZeA “Dear No One” @Tori Kelly 

 

https://youtu.be/Ulq7pfAkZRI   “Somebody Like You” @Keith Urban (Urban Underground)  

 

https://youtu.be/iIUNILdhhdU  “Love and Respect” @Iya Terra | Sugarshack Sessions  

 

https://youtu.be/1Ko4yroBP0A  “Spirit Lead Me” @Influence Music and Michael Ketterer  

 

 

:5

Biblegateway.com (DAILY VERSE)

Romans 12:3 (NIV) ³ I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Good morning Lord and thank you for the blessings of the new day.

Thank you for all that comes with me being me.   Good, bad, or indifferent.   I do not deserve new chances, yet you allow me up every day.

Thank you for this day and all you allow me.

 

Even when I think I am losing my mind.   Although I have survived well on my own drama free for many years.    I do not agree that I am better by myself but yes, this song speaks volumes.  https://youtu.be/8HoQDCrGMDU    “I Think I’m Losing My Mind” @Bazzi

Do not even begin to know what, why or when this crazy 2020 has come to be and how or why half of what the world is experiencing is going on.  Much less personally some of the seriously uncertain personal next steps or why I am even here.

Really kind of like music and my choices, it has been years other than a one off here or there that I listen to country, yet too much time on my hands perhaps or just things not to be questioned that I cannot let go of being me.   Here I listen to country at least once a day if not more.  Daydreaming and night streaming.   What is up with that.  Have I utterly lost my mind? Pinch me please because I honestly think I have lost it.  https://youtu.be/Qe500eIK1oA  “Crazy” @Gnarles Barkley

Trying not to offend anyone, because I always care about what others think as I am shaking my head or even being overwhelmed.  

Curse the day and soul that triggered this mind calling me back in from the desert.    Wait is that me.   Too much time on my hands; too much time on the computer. 

 

No again I will say to those who are wondering where this rabbit hole is off to.    No, I am NOT out there doing any secret things I need redemption for.   Trust me on that. 

Just this mind doing over time in all the new normal that has come to be in our day to day.

 Still a hopeless romantic seeking that forever has me; but has not been given the forever you.

With the airwaves throwing signals and I paralyzed over thinking things through.

Heart and soul all the way; this path, journey has made me steadfast, beyond faithful calls out.  

What next, what is it, love beyond the years that is so deep it washes away any pain and fear.

Beauty reading the soul knowing more than you ever have to say.   Missing them like crazy before they even leave to go away.

How can you miss what you never had, if only I could be guided by His almighty hand?

Like that Mercy in the dirt!  https://youtu.be/WwdPFLSWiyY  “Mercy In the Dirt” @Ryan Stevenson

No in between; love from day one right down in the dirt, at the worse or at the top of the earth.      

How long before this dream I fell for so long ago will come true?   How will I know to open the door, walking through really slow just absorbing everything the new life  will bring.   No longer will the radio be turned up as the harmony of hearts, truth and unspoken cares have welcomed us home.

How can it be.   I am here I am me.    With tears flowing down my cheek.   Forever is not enough with you I need to be.    For you, where are you; that you are deep within this soul my forever Sweet Soul King.   Are you real, will you be for just me?

As my head spins with love, with promise even with doubts.

How, When, Will you be you; and let this love out?

 

Yes 2020 you have become far more stranger than anything I have ever had to deal with or seen.     I do not know what will be; nothing is ever what it seems.   We need more God, more truth.

How will we ever know any longer just what to do.     All I can do Father God is cling to you.     Jesus, I say it over and over I need you now.  

 

I need you to lead me, to show me just how!   Not going through the motions  giving it all even when it does not show.

I cannot chase feelings, and right here right now I am so twisted and overwhelmed.

The difference is making the choice, loving you at the worst is a blessing never a curse.    All of you for all of me.   It could never be any other way.

Here I am waiting to be.    Reveal in me God the who, the what, the why.  Right now, not then.

God you know who it is, you know the need; the want the forever in truth not what the world will say.

I need you now and every single moment of every single day. https://youtu.be/_rR_Rdb1CTE    “Lord I Need You” @Chris Tomlin

Where Grace is found is where you are.  In perfect humility, where you are is where I need to be.     Lord please help me with your eyes to always see.  Life has so much more to give, so much more to say.

Spirit Lead Me in this new normal and whatever may be.    I deal so much better with you, as I make my own messes trying to have live here in humanity.

 

Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)

Psalms 48:9 (NIV)     ⁹ Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love.

 

Deuteronomy 33:12 (NIV)   ¹² About Benjamin he said:  “Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.”

 Psalms 37:4 (NIV)    ⁴ Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.