Saturday, February 6, 2021

02.06.2021_February(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

 

Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)


Date: Saturday, February 6, 2021

 

 

 Meditation Opportunities

(Biblegateway.com) Bible Verse of the Day

Proverbs 21:21 (MSG)

21 Whoever goes hunting for what is right and kind finds life itself—glorious life!

 

Proverbs 21:21 (NIRV)

21 Anyone who wants to be godly and loving finds life, success and honor.

 

(@Jesus Calling 365 Devotions with Real-Life Stories @Sarah Young)

Matthew 11:28-29

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

 

1 Timothy 2:8

I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger, or disputing.

 

Zechariah 1:3

Therefore tell the people:  This is what the LORD Almighty says:  “Return to me,” declares the LORD Almighty, : and I will return to you,” says the LORD Almighty.


Soul Vibes / Motivation Movers (YouTube.Com

 

Yesterday Is Gone @Drew K @mtpowerranger 

Maybe It's Okay @ We Are Messengers

 

Cry Out To Jesus @Third Day

There Was Jesus @Zach Williams ft. Dolly Parton

To The Table @Zach Williams

You Never Change @Austin Stone Worship Live

Clean @Natalie Grant

 


Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):


Still thinking about the question presented on Thoughts with Pastor Al:    What is the most difficult part when we finally decide to leave our baggage behind?           My reply: Knowing when you’re in that spiritual tug of war and knowing what you need to do.  But allow yourself to be paralyzed by not repeating what caused the baggage in the first place, because you don’t want to risk or repeat what made it baggage being tossed to start with.  It’s all about the delusion of control in those brief moments we forget God always and already won.

 

There is always a message in what we consider to be messy or really a mess in our day to day.

No matter what we tend to worry ourselves over, strive for or even do things to achieve what we think we must do, must have and later be disgruntle, disheartened, or even disillusioned because we thought it, they would be what makes and takes us to the next level.

 

Hurt, pain, anger that we take out on ourselves, or others because we believed in the illusion that we really had full control over what is or will be in our lives.

 

Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely believe we are the makers of our destiny.  However, I also believe just because we get somewhere, we intended does not mean it is what we envisioned in our minds or hearts.

 

How else do we get the most beautiful romance novels and movies where someone is truly in love and souls are connected; yet they never see that person again.  Due to time travel, happenstance, or death.

 

Happenstance could be wrong time, wrong place or just we were never meant to be in the first place but because our hearts want something so bad, we look past all that should have been and try to make it what we think it should be.

 

Bonnie and Clyde connected, bound and crazy together until the end no matter what the cost.

 

I do not think God intended for that love and romance to become so violent or the harm that took place in the end.

 

Our unique but twisted mind maze we think, make choices or not that we are given.

So much baggage created by what we think, what we do.  But even more lasting collateral damage for the world to mock, see in history.

 

What about the right now?   Sure, we can go back in time and learn from it.  Retrospect is an important process no matter what we apply it to.     But yesterday is gone!   There is no getting back the time or do over what has already been set into motion.   No matter how many times we go back and get stuck there.

 

Tomorrow is never promised; yet we rob ourselves of our todays because of the choices we make or ignore to make.

 

Balance is so ridiculously hard to find on our own.  Yet God has made the way for us to always cling and turn to Him through His son Jesus.   

 

Yet I know myself no matter how many years I grow forward learning of my blessings and who I am.    I still play that spiritual tug of war.   Taking my eyes off eternity, clinging to yesterday, driving myself crazy even when I have it all together in everyone else’s vision.

 

If only we all could live like with that child like faith and vision.  Where we just live, we just love, we just laugh.  That we are those resilient souls that when something bad happens it just rolls off our backs and we keep moving onward following the light ahead.   Learning to become the reflection of light for those by, side-by-side or behind us.

 

Forgetting or never believing God has already won, He already knows the ending to the movie and story.     We forget that if something did not work out there is a reason.   It is not our job to chase and waste time trying to deep dive in and try to get a different ending.

 

No one especially me wants to lose anything.   I have grown up in the shadow of rejection my entire life.

 

Growing up on my own feeling like a throw away kid later to know we are all human and kids having kids well it is what it is.    To find out the man that I grew up knowing as my biological father pretty much hated me to learn at age 50, I was never his child to start with.

 

That the father I never met died that same year I found out and I not only have the siblings I only know but an entire slew in my bloodline.

That the man who was a decorated veteran, worked in law enforcement and served to protect children actually abandoned his own and only openly acknowledged those that the women who stuck by him for all his married life.

 

That the marriage of my mother and father was thrown away because I was a product of rape.    Or so it was said to be.     Some things I will never know.   

 

However, no matter what the generations before us went through or caused.   We have the abilities to let go of that spiritual tug of war and make a difference.  We can create and be the change.   We can be the reflection of light.

 

My entire youth spent feeling unwanted and discarded unless it was at the hands of predators.

Staying numb to survive.  I am not the only soul in this world that life was what it should not have been.  I am not the only kid being woke out of a sound sleep being raped by a fat nasty drunk that is supposed to be a family friend to look after you.

 

Nor would I have ever been a kid that stayed drugged up from 10-14 just because that was all I new back then.     I can assure you trying to kill myself as a teenager was the best thing I could have done.   Not caring and being tough and taking the pain and danger to an entirely different level and learning to survive even if I never knew why.    Was everything and I am not the only one that has their own stories.

 

Everyone of us have someone going through so much the same even when different.    If there is one thing I can not shout loud enough.      It is okay to not be okay!

 

We all have a story, we all have happiness, pain.  Everyone of us if we are back up again this day have been blessed to call out to Jesus and dig deep and fight forward to grow forward.

 

Taking all that was and know if we are on this side of it; we are blessed and if we are still in it.  Seek guidance, protection and that God Lead me, lead you.

 

I have story after story that layers up the scars from brokenness and fighting on my own.  From playing tug of war with the world and with giving it to God at the foot of the cross and sometimes still finding myself going back and trying to pick it back up and make a different result.

 

 

Everything I am everything you are created in the image of God.   Worth more than anything temporal in this world and day to day we get into.

 

From the so close that you can feel someone breathing thousands of miles away.  To the distant buried under some mound on the side of the mountain you will never think twice to go climb.

 

So, what you were never harmed, never did any drugs, or bad things in your childhood.  Yet you still just feel so off, lost or so sad you just can’t.       Everyone has demons in their closet that they are trying to bury.  Some trying to mask, some trying to eliminate, some just not even sure what, when or why.     We all got stuff.  We all got a story.  We all have our own baggage.

 

Perhaps it is that we call it life and do the best we can in the ways of the world with everything the world has to give.       Sometimes we just numb ourselves anyway we can.   Sometimes we let those who have all the answers direct us.   Sometimes we just keep trying or putting all our faith into others and when we are let down enough, we just collapse and remain paralyzed.     Or not!    Perhaps we take on the world, avoid dealing with our immediate relationship with the creator by taking life from others.

 

Until that one day we finally have that Ah Ha moment.      There was Jesus!     I have always prayed to God;   I have always worked hard to survive and when I had my children young.  I worked every day.     I choose for me to never let others look at me as just another piece of meat making a living.    I also because of being scarred so young.   Never opened me up to trust when people were genuinely no agenda friends and cared.   At least not until I met Jesus right where I was.

 

Many won’t understand or want to even consider what I say when it comes to the love, the abundance of great peace and joy in the depths of this soul.

 

It is because of God’s love that he sent his son to die so we could live.    It is because of Jesus I; You, still get back up each day.

 

It is because of our choices which direction we add layers to any given mountain we have in front of us.

 

We are not alone in any of it.  

 

I chased my entire young adult life just wanting someone to really show me I mattered.   Exposing myself to physical, verbal, and emotional strife.      It took me to have children and want them to have more to understand there was something different transpiring.

 

Along the way, we will always make mistakes or choices that seem to be offensive to those to or around us.

There will be sacrifices we give for all that is temporary.      You are and never will be alone unless you choose to be.    God is with you always; call upon his son Jesus!

 

No matter what we do or have done.   Bring it all to the table.   Face down, in the corner of the room you stand or sit right now.   Let his life seep into your veins and know there is so much greater and higher power than anything we are or ever will be.

 

Let go of the baggage that has us trapped, suffocating, or doing so much that just can never be enough.   Especially when those you do it for, never intended to show up or just be for you the way you dreamed.

 

Life in this world is what it is until it is not.    None of us truly ever wanted harm, chaos, or any type of brokenness.   Sometimes we are seeking, sometime are broken long before and our circumstances get the best of us.

 

Change will come; good bad or indifferent!

We can when we want to and put effort forth!

It happens!    However, God never does!

 

Finding myself is something I am doing every day.    While doing my best with what I am given to work with.

 

  Doing my best to stop playing tug of war.  Doing my best to know who I belong to.  So, on those days I put all I am into those who really never intended anything more past their own intentions.   Or those days those I really genuinely care for suffer because that is just sometimes happens in this world.     Doing my best to keep getting back up.

 

One thing is absolutely beyond anything this world could ever be or do.

 

God’s love is what keeps this heart from turning to stone.   God’s love and power is what ultimately wins.   It is His love that allows me each day to get back up.   It is His love and sacrifice that allows us to not need a reason to love others and care about them.     Without any agenda but to just be.

It is his gift of sacrifice that is our gift of life.     Nothing more or less.

 

He always is, was and will be.  Jesus has already overcome.  Jesus has already won.  Lay it down and stop playing with what we cannot win.

 

 

Father God thank you for this new day; for all these thoughts that flowed so freely this day.  Thank you for your healing of me, of those given to me.  Of those who are yet to come.

 

Protect and guide your children Jesus.   May the reflect your light and when they cannot see it; may they just be one.

 

Thank you for your army of angels in ministry in this world that just is what it is until it’s not.

 

Protect and guide us.      May the love you allow us to fill up with be the sweetness that you alone my Forever Sweet Soul King continue to pour out and into all I am connected.  Love beyond time and space through out eternity.   Forever yours freely given to all who believe.

 

Help us Lord believe, restore each and every soul I am connected.    Your blood has washed us clean.   Nothing is too much of anything for you Lord.   May we know who we are in you, with you and most importantly for you!

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