Music pulled
from https://www.youtube.com/ and
are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted
otherwise and are free for public
consumption**** (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King
James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)
Date: Saturday, March 27, 2021
Daily
Journal/ Prayers & just Thinking Out Loud
Good morning and
happy blessed Saturday wherever it may be for you.
Thank you, Jesus, for
allowing me up another day. Be with me
and all I connect with, to, through on this journey you allow me to take.
So that infamous
question that has been shadowing my thoughts all weeks had a lesson about to
pour out for me. Why do we do what we
do? Yet, You Love us; Love me no matter what
Jesus! You Still Love Me @Tasha Cobbs
Running back to you
Jesus each and every day giving you me; is all I have to give. Wishing I was more like you, knowing I will
all fall short but fighting forward in all I am, all I do. Aaron Cole - LIKE YOU (feat.
Tauren Wells & TobyMac)
So what about it? That IT? That question: Do we really even think about why we do what we do; or do we think about in advance how we plan to react when what we choose and what we do reflects an end result. Good, bad, or indifferent!
We will react when we find out what we are
doing; even when we are doing it for something better, the greater good or well
you get my drift hopefully. We are not
just doing something because we can. But
some of us do.
Anyway, there is no lie that despite my lifelong journey through brokenness, lost pieces, illness, and recovery of many scars.
I have and am blessed with abundance to have known what it feels like to have loved and lost. The pain is far greater to have never known love at all!
I know what it is like to have it all that filled my spirit; to fill my needs or desires and lost it all. To have the biggest heart giving all I got and be flattened and never be enough, do enough or have enough and have to fight to get back up; more times than I care to share.
Sure, at my own hands
and choices and many times through others.
I will never say any different. Even on the moments where before truly
diving in to meet Jesus; I know I had blessings and especially as I look back
at history and see the world around me.
Adults put their
trust or assumptions in the hands of other adults and leave their children for
safe keeping, or even get into messes themselves and the children/gifts of life
and legacy are bumped, bruised, and sometimes harmed if not destroyed along the
way.
The demons and
darkness of everyone always comes to light.
Sometimes just not before loss and suffering picks its collateral
damaged pieces. Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace)
@Hillsong Worship
But that is neither
here nor there. Still blessed to have
the choice to decide how will I react to what happens next. What if those
choices I make do not turn out as I hoped for?
I still get to choose
what I will do next. And nope I do not
always react or get it right!
Everyone knows I work hard, most times
harder than I need to. But I have been
out here on my own for a long time.
Over the years this college graduate who was once very street smart and
educated forgets the lessons and just dives in helping others without question.
It is part of my DNA
and that is why it is so easy for trolls and users to sometimes spot me in a
crowd.
There is nothing I would not do for those that manage to get hold of my heart strings. People, organizations, pets.
We all have different things that feed our
energy, our spirit, our want to get up and go.
And although I will never understand why the beat of my heart never
stopped and hardened before I met Jesus.
I know now He is with me it never will.
He is the strength, courage, and life in these lungs where I will never
deserve why I am still allowed the Heart of the beat in this life. Heart Of My Beat @TobyMac
Anyway, the roller
coaster ride of life has hit my road and many close to me, my entire existence. Thinking now if I am honest. I grow from helping others and feeling of
being filled up being needed and wanted.
Played a big part over the years.
It was a few years ago I finally sat down and looked at my future DNA,
my finances and well I have always been one to know.
It means nothing
unless you work for it yourself and You CANNOT take any of it with you.
I unfortunately did
not come from a well-grounded family or even one that had stability and parents
in the home to help guide and direct those thoughts or to have you think before
acting.
I pretty much raised
myself once my sister moved out. Trial
by fire and the school of hard knocks all the way. When I became a parent. I made it perfectly clear along the way
choices matter.
Who you associate
with matters, especially because guilt by association is to me one of the
number one driver of what happens next in anyone’s life!
Just because you are
not doing, acting, or speaking what those others you surround yourself with are
doing.
Does not mean you are
not opening the door to the repercussions of the results that flow out just by
being with or around them. No, it does
not necessarily need to be partying, it could just as easy just be sitting
around and always being lazy, putting things off or stuck on some video game
whilst you should be working on studies or doing something productive to grow
forward.
Anyway, like always
this could go on forever. You may not
know what the end result will be from the choices you allow to happen, or you
are about to make. But you damn sure better
be accountable no matter what you do or do not do for allowing it to happen in
your life.
When you are not
responsible for the choice itself and I get we all sometimes are just in the
path of others. You need to be strong
enough to step in and take over what you need to do for you after the fact. If God willing you make it out the others
side.
So, as I always take
the long scenic sometimes colorful route to where I am going. So,
though I will always tell you about my Jesus and the wind that fills these
lungs and He alone carrying me through all the journey I take. I will always be the first to acknowledge that
no matter what is or is not. My freedom
and joy that I can never lose is through Christ Jesus. I will
never get it right or be worthy. But I am free in him and nothing or no one
will ever take that. Found My Freedom @Found My Freedom
I have also found the
lessons are daily and recently the lesson I have learned from the choices I
make or have made surrounding finances is up ahead.
What I will say first
though; Is this I am Always Me! Broken pieces
all along the way put together living life like being a kaleidoscope.
Finding beauty and abundant
colors and designs along the journey I am given no matter what direction I
choose, walk, or try.
I will not stop doing
what I do or being who I am. Love it,
leave it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. If I am stuck working harder than I ever
had to. Well hopefully I will be
enjoying pieces colors of this worlds journey along the way.
So over time and all
my helping this one, helping that one.
Doing this or OH NO; the transmission went out; the AC went out the
something major absolutely cannot be ignored.
Life happened!
One day in 2019 I sat
down to deal with my crazy world and yes was slapped head on with all the good
I was thinking I was doing just about was ready to take me out.
I had things all over
the place and to get a handle on them. So,
listening to the professionals, I decided to go with a consolidation loan.
Regardless of the
unknown outcome I thought my choice to make things better and maintaining my
responsibility to align and pay for what I get into. Having one bundled payment and not 20 all
over the place was a great thing. Great
sounds wonderful; people do it all the time, right?
So,
listening to the experts I followed their guidance. And although my credit scoring did not go to
the depths of the abyss as it sits on the edge. Letting the professionals negotiate with
the financial institutions.
What I just found out
that no one knows until tax time is this.
And this is FACTS: Every dollar
over 600 dollars any consolidation company negotiates with any institution or
any amount any financial institution waves, releases you from paying.
**You are required to
pay taxes on as if it were earned cash
into your paycheck** Let me say it
again. Any $$ over 600.00 any credit
card, or financial institution even health care facilities release you from
paying is reported to the IRS by them and you are required to pay taxes on to
the IRS! Yes, taxes like it the debt you were released
from was like cash earned in your weekly paycheck. Legally yes it happens but it is never
talked about.
And no, I am no
finance major and yes, I am a train wreck where I have always no matter the details
always jumped in and helped wherever I could whenever I could.
So, when I was just a
mess and needed to get everything in one place, I jumped at the chance to just get
it together. One bundled payment;
consolidation and never doing a deeper dive or analysis when the company said part
of the program now that we have everything consolidated is to work with the debtors
and see if they will agree to a reduced pay off which will lower the interest
and life of the payments.
Thankfully, I have not filed my taxes yet
because I did have allot of big-ticket items the past couple years come to life
and 2020 was no exception; so, I did what I did to make sure I could manage and
keep my investments worth the time and money.
There is always a
catch, even with the professionals and big-name companies.
NOTHING in this life is free and there is
always hidden rules or really fine print you just do not see.
Even if I am still paying, I could have been
paying everything in full to the companies I was working with.
Now all that consolidation
did was take from the companies I do business with and hand it over to the
government and I have to pay all taxes on every dollar above 600 to the IRS.
I will always to my
best and it has nothing to do with God or anything else; but just doing my best
to be a decent responsible human in society.
If my best is not
good enough and sometimes it’s not, sometimes it is easier, sometimes there are
grand lessons. But one thing is for
sure. All the time I will keep trusting
and trying to grow forward.
But since we are on
the topic of God.
LOL, well my help is
not on the way; HE has always been with me.
He is always with you! He Is Always With You (Jesus) @Rich Moore
It maybe midnight or morning light or right
here and now when you realize you have never been alone, and Jesus has always
and will always be with each and everyone of us who call upon his name. As your help is not on the way but right
here, right now when you call his name. Help Is On The Way (Maybe Midnight) @DC Talk He is right in front of you, right next to
you, behind you and honestly just want you to allow him to come live within
your spirit.
I know sounds like I
am one of those Bible, thumping crazy Jesus Freaks! Well Jesus Freak yes! Jesus Freak @DC Talk
I am beyond in love
with the spirit and being and person of Jesus and who he was, who he is and who
he came for us to be. Nothing will
change that. Will I tell you to learn
and read for yourselves?
Absolutely! Just like working for what we really want to
appreciate it and have lasting meaning.
You have to want the love, mercy and grace and abundant peace to live
within your own being. You have to want
to believe there is abundant blessings in everything that is or will be when
you allow Jesus to be the captain of your journey. Captain @Hillsong UNITED
No one else can do it
for you; and even if they convince you of any choice. Unless you own your choices, you will never
find peace or direction and always have chaos. Even if sometimes we choose knowing what we
are choosing matters but we did not fully understand what the result may be. Harder does not even begin to explain the
journey ahead. But I know who holds me
close and pulls me, carries me and will never leave me.
Bottom line we all
trust in what we do, we trust in others and things will always turn out as we
least expect it. However, one thing I
know I will always trust in and I know will never let me down, always be as He
was, is and will always be. That is
trusting in God and in Christ in Jesus!!!! Power @Chris
Tomlin ft. Bear Rinehart of NEEDTOBREATHE
Learning to be still in His presence!
An absolute work in progress for me but learning so much along the way.
Meditation
Opportunities
Psalm 62:7 (NIV)7 My salvation and
my honor depend on God[a]; he is my mighty rock, my
refuge.
(@Jesus Calling 365 Devotions with Real-Life
Stories @Sarah Young)
“I do my best work within you, transforming
you by the renewing of your mind. If you
skimp on this time with Me, you may plunge headlong into the wrong activities,
missing the richness of what I have planned for you.”
Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of
this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve
what God’s will is—his good, pleasing,
and perfect will.
Revelation 2:4 “Yet I hold this against you: You have
forsaken your first love.”
Colossians 1:27 To them God has chosen to make know among the
Gentiles the glories riches of his master which is Christ in you, the hope of
glory.
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