****
Scripture from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise**** Music links and
reference pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ are free for public consumption****
(Disclosure – I am grammatically incorrect most any day
these words flow as a release of this mind maze which gives me my sanity not to
impress the critics or English majors (said with much love and respect)
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Every day you are up - Every day you inhale. Every day you have something to complain or be ecstatic about. Every day is a day to be thankful for something; we are all a work in progress. Every day is an opportunity to write your story! What will yours be?
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Date: September 13, 2019
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
1 Peter 3:8 (NIV) [ Suffering for Doing Good ] Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
Matthew 7:1 (NIV) Judging Others 7 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
John 17:3 (NIV) 3 Now this is eternal life:
that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.
Romans 9:20 (NIV) 20 But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”[a]
1 Timothy 6:15 (NIV) 15 which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords,
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you, Jesus, for your sacrifice on that Friday! Thank you for the life I am allowed because of you; and maybe Lord through you, with you this Friday the 13th will be a blessing to so many more. As I tried looking for fun facts to put out here, I find myself really not that interested.
What I do know is if going by what my lucky numbers are to be from years past 7, 9, and 13 I am golden.
After all it is the end of my work week and I have been very productive and busy all week and something will happen somewhere throughout the day.
I wish I could say let me go run out and grab the winning lotto ticket; but first of all that mumbo jumbo about luck well that is not me. For crying out loud I still have an unchecked lotto ticket from July sitting on my dresser. I will take care of that today now that I am thinking of it.
Something’s to me are just not that important. Weird as I am the things that are well they seem to be out of reach so I do my best to keep it simple.
Keeping it real in a world that can be so played out with so much unnecessary dramas with lots of actors playing out the parts. Full of judgment and downright hatefulness in many cases; I use to be one of the many reactors doing the same thing many do.
Thinking I had all the right answers; and always on the defense reacting without deep diving into what really matters or even the full facts not just what someone says. Hating more and more each time I allowed myself to believe and was taken advantage of. Never having someone to look out for me or keep me accountable always in a fire somewhere of good intentions.
I am thankful Lord; you never gave up on me and I finally found you.
Thank you Jesus for allowing me to know what it means to know you but more importantly rest in you; what it means to have found peace in you even when there are still times for I brief moment I feel the old ready to fight me alive and it is that tames all that is uneasy and help me past and moving forward.
For this I am forever grateful. Lord never let go of guarding my heart and directing my steps please!
The days will never be easy; but they are meaningful with so much good when we seek it. Not to look past what is crippling this world; but to learn ways to try not to be a contributor and a light wherever we are able.
You have blessed us with the abilities to rest in you, with you whenever and as often as we need to.
No matter what we personally feel about, for or with anything or anyone. In you Lord you gave your son and Jesus gives us life and peace. We only have to choose to seek you and accept it!
I am learning it does not mean that the weight of the world has been taken away; let’s face it when we are wronged it hurts; when we are used or abused it scars; when we make a mistake we seek forgiveness and pray we are not judged for the rest of your days. At least any of us with a moral compass and seeking what is good in all things.
But the load is lighted because God is there with each and every soul carrying the burdens. The choice he made to send is only son of the flesh to be brutally tortured and tormented left to hanging on the cross was the day everything in this world would be lifted for and from us and put on the cross.
Many will never understand that; I do not fully! The why part of it anyway.
However, I have lived a minute or few here on this earth and there are stories of my life that I should have been long gone. Yet he has healed my scars and released the bondage that once made me hate this world and hate myself. I will never understand the twists and turns or why my life has been the way it was.
But I am thankful the good Lord allowed me to see past all of what was and revealed so much beauty, peace and love in all of my today’s and all that will be!
So no matter the what if’s I incur; no matter what mistakes I make; no matter what new scars I acquire just being me.
I can never just give up and give in; knowing how far the Father has carried me already. Most days the inner me does not stop trying to get a view of things I adore and believe in.
It does not stop my soul from leaking out when I see so much hurt and heart break all around me. It does not stop me from caring too much or being a demanding parent and hurt when others just cannot believe in themselves. Or even speaking up when those who still judge for what they have or what they do is not up to the standards they feel should be.
It does not stop me from being overanxious when I am doing my best to serve and something goes wrong. But I am blessed to know the only perfect being in this universe is that of the creator my Lord and Savior and for this I am blessed to be called his child.
So as I continue the days I am given and learn how to rest in all God is and forever will be. I pray for all I am connected to find peace in the arms of Jesus. Acknowledgement everything they are meant to be or do is to shine and love as God does. Finding peace and comfort no matter what!
Blessed is he who believes!
Deuteronomy 33:29 (NIV) Blessed are you, Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword. Your enemies will cower before you, and you will tread on their heights.”
Deuteronomy31:8 (NIV) 8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Dear Lord, I need to say thank you again or still for the gracious reminder that transpired this evening in our night of prayer. There is nothing we will walk into that you have not already been and made aware of. No matter what plans we have your will guides our steps. No matter what your children do in obedience and good Godly hearts and intent; no matter how things turn out you already know the plans and what will occur. We need not try to justify or walk with guilt or doubt if it the plans did not go according to our plans. Your will for those who seek you; faithfully believe and love you shall always prevail.
May we never lose courage in you in a world that says we must be accepting of everything; may we be bold in love in mercy and the same grace you show each and every one of us to those in need.
May we Lord shine your will and light and not our own; to use what you have blessed us with is one thing; to use it for our own personal satisfaction, fame, fortune or even collection no longer allows all that is good and pure to shine brightly. May we never burn out and lose our way and if we stumble; you direct our steps no matter what the path we must take.
Bless and guide the children of our future; the leaders of now.
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Date: September 12, 2019
Verse of the
Day (Biblegateway.com):
Philippians 4:4 (NIV) [Final Exhortations] Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Daily
Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
John 14:27 (NIV) 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Isaiah30:15 (NIV) 15 This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
2 Corinthians 10:4 (NIV) 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you, Lord, for another day!
Father as I stepped in to assist last night with a packed house of 3rd to 6th graders just watching the excitement and energy they all had. Just blew me away not only from the beauty in their spirits but the acknowledgment of you deep in their precious hearts already.
If only Father every child could be exposed to the goodness and your will? The world would be a beautiful place in my mind’s eye.
I think back and try to remember exactly when I came to know about you; and I remember a couple of picnic gatherings with my Aunt and Uncle; but the most memorable is when that old church bus drove through the neighborhood and I just got on it and went not having any clue what would happen. I think I was still in my tenth year close to eleven. What I do remember is what a mess I was and how I asked if I could walk forward to get baptized and they allowed me.
No clue what that meant back then; however, I do know it was you that kept me alive through all the years and things that have come to pass.
Jesus, you allowed me to stay connected and somehow in 1995 get in my heart to walk forward again as an adult and you that would have me show my child what it was when taking the steps for baptism and walk through the storms of this life in 2005.
Just as you sustained me then, you carry me daily now! Thank you for then and thank you for now.
It is weird to know how much you love all people Jesus knowing we will fail you daily. Even more so to know how I will never really be able to explain why or how. Nevertheless, how much Lord I am in love with all your son is. All that he has done, in entirety with what he does daily in compassion, love, mercy and grace.
Maybe if I wanted to do a worldly justification it is because of all the failures and brokenness I have lived through. It is easier to believe in what has been for over 2000 years that never changed when so many in this world change second by second and have never stood true. Maybe all of the above.
What I do know without any maybe’s is the fact that you have saved me at a very young age and have been allowing me to grow daily through all the trials and walks I have been journeying through in this life.
You have been the one that keeps me from hating and not giving up or giving in. For this I am forever grateful. I cannot explain why I am overwhelmed and filled with a love from the inside out that has allowed me to see and feel. Even when things are broken with and around me. Even when my best efforts turn into failures in the worlds view.
Despite anything I could want in this life; I never want to lose your mercy and grace that fills me daily.
As my thoughts wander, back to what would my anthem be if I had to play it out in songs? It can be fluid on any given day, but I always have in the back of my mind knowing the fear I can be overwhelmed with knowing where I have been and the blessings I have now and what would happen when I think. “What If I Stumble?” https://youtu.be/JOnokwbFH4s @DC Talk
Knowing most days for me are organized chaos from work to all I am connected. Feeling most everything everyone goes through. Even when I grow so weary for the things I desire and dream that seem most days when things are going wrong and I just wish to quit; knowing before I knew who Jesus was I so aimlessly really put effort into quitting; and now I am reminded daily to “Get Back Up” https://youtu.be/MX5OqyBYKh4?list=RDMX5OqyBYKh4n @TobyMac
To continue no matter where no matter when “Keep Walkin” https://youtu.be/MX1G71WK-FA @TobyMac because no matter what with you Jesus and all those who believe we will “See The Light” https://youtu.be/a1fFkPtOojQ @TobyMac
I am just a “Nobody” https://youtu.be/Mflekg7ieX0 @Casting Crowns I am daily struggling trying to just be! Trying to fill this insignificant day to day and to mean something and feel of some kind of worth. Even before Lord I found you; my goals were to give my children worth so they would not experience what it feels to not matter. To truly do and be for with clean hands and pure hearts. Failing a thousand times, I am blessed for the beautiful souls they carry.
I know it is; “Only Jesus” https://youtu.be/VXIBP2BdYR8 @Casting Crowns that truly matters and I pray for all I love, all I am connected soften their hearts digging deep and find their blessings in Him. As it is far beyond just day to day and having it all in the world’s terms. I will never be able to explain how or why. But I am in love with Jesus and forever will be “Till The Day I Die” https://youtu.be/wbKNfzPfSgQ @TobyMac
I will fall in love a million times over for all those who believe and know what I have deep inside a love for My Sweet Soul King from the inside out; a love so far, beyond space and time. So unexplainable yet so real. I would “Do It Again” https://youtu.be/0B_lnQIITxU @Elevation Worship over and over again to just feel the connection I had and have. I will never be able to explain how or why. I just know I am forever here now and if I have to wait for my next life to really get it; really understand; really have the love I experience from the inside out come to life in the flesh, so be it.
I cannot change what I do not fully understand when it comes to this love; yes, there are many reasons what the causes maybe.
But only God knows why I am forever connected and here or the dreams I dream. It is about the plans He has and not what I plan that will matter.
There are more times I say; I wish I could hate things and not feel. But truth is, I never want to change; I never want to lose the love I have been given or all the blessings that come in my dreams or reality.
I pray all I will ever connect with come to know this peace filled with love and compassion. Truth within themselves and hope for all that is good all that is pure. The strength and courage to never give up on what the deeply love or desire.
I get firsthand not everything works out according to what we planned or thought. Not every relationship makes it to the end of our life span. However, love and appreciate all you have while you have it and never discount when things move out of the way for newness to come in. There will always be love for even that which does not work out. But when you are given another chance; it will be better than anything ever imagined. Until then never stop believing or hoping.
Thank you, Lord, for all my days and all you allow me to connect. Thank you for the courage and strength to work through all that is not and allowing me the visions of what it would be like for all that could be. Thank you for putting some people deep in my soul and allowing me to grow from the blessings they were given to share.
How you react to any given person, place or thing is what matters in your life. To know what it means to be broken; betrayed; alone with nothing but what you have to fight your way back to or through. The facts not everyone shares what is good for you or your family; nor do they share the truth of who they really are. Everyone has his or her own agenda in this life. What was changes; what can be is always available and what you do with every single moment of every single day and who you are connected matters.
Make the time you are allowed here on earth count; make it meaningful and honestly brush off whatever has knocked you into discouragement or failing low and lost; get back up and give it all over to God 200% letting him manage justice; karma or whatever you want to call it.
The world and people can be triggers to much; but no one can take the pain you feel for any life experience but Jesus.
No, matter what you try to mask it with; people; places or things! It will always be there. Find who you really are, it is you are to be.
Walk solid with God and know you are worth more than anything this world or anyone in it could have done, given or taken from or to you.
Enjoy those you love; love those you enjoy. It does not matter how they feel; your heart and your purpose and your life, is best to manage between you and God.
Lead by example; it is okay to laugh; okay to cry and okay to love or let go. It is okay for all of the above as long as you keep moving forward. Leaving you with this beautiful reminder of “Build My Life” https://youtu.be/SnpJ8oRQWrc @Terrian
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Date: September 11, 2019
Verse of the
Day (Biblegateway.com):
Psalms 121:1-2 (NIV) A song of ascents. ] I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
Jeremiah 31:9
(NIV) 9 They will come with weeping; They will pray
as I bring them back.
I will lead them beside streams of water on a
level path where they will not stumble,
because I am Israel’s father, and Ephraim is my
firstborn son.
Matthew 6 (NIV)
Giving to the Needy
6 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Prayer
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
9 “This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come,
your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation,[a] but deliver us from the evil one.[b]’
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Fasting
16 “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Treasures in Heaven
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,[c] your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are unhealthy,[d] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about
clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet
I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of
these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field,
which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more
clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying,
‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For
the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you
need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore
do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has
enough trouble of its own.
1 John 3:1 (NIV) 3 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
Philippians 4:4 (NIV) Final Exhortations
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Psalms 102:27 (NIV) 27 But you remain the same, and your years will never end.
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Lord thank you for this day; as I am reminded how blessed I am!
Despite what all on this earth transpires; despite never knowing who my flesh father was; despite all the heartbreak of what this world can hold; heartbreak of all we love and have lost; for all those who have went before us; for any suffering and loss of all we love here on earth.
You have made me whole; you Jesus have allowed me to know you as Abba my one and only true father. You the one who allows me to lay my head in your lap and know I am comforted through all turmoil that this world can bring. As my security, my father the one who sustains and will never leave me. As a child, I stand holding tightly to your legs Father to never let you get away from me. Knowing on those days when I am weak and paralyzed from all that just is here and now you walk with me and carry me whenever I fall short and go no further.
Thank you
On this day or remembrance when evil took so many 9/11/2001 as I walk through the halls of my office and watch on the TV monitors the terror and heartbreak that transpired. The world changed forever for so many. Just a short time before my son flew back to NY a week later my beautiful grandchild was born. Father God; the bittersweet of life as we know it; where humanity sorts through all the good and evil that can be; that has been!
To see death and all what we do not understand is a crushing blow for all you created us for.
It does not matter if it is a purposed mass destruction; illness; or even watching the slow death to sin and addiction for those, we love.
The pain is real and the bondage of all that goes with the traps that we can be consumed and blinded by; knowing all that leads up to each loss is heartbreaking and even more so that will never come to know you Jesus.
Your love and sacrifices made so we could have life is priceless Lord; yet we put numbers and statistics to everything that takes place here on this earth. Numbers how many lost; numbers how much stolen; numbers how many this or that. What does it all mean in the end? We are not just numbers; we are life you give and bless with choices to walk in life and walk with you to eternity. Priceless and worth more than this world will ever give or take.
Yet, the pain is real, and the loss is beyond great no matter if it tragedy or slow painful suffering for those we love and care for suffering illness; addiction; emotional unbalance.
Dear Lord, we need you, I need you and I ask you hear our prayers. I lift all that I am and can be; for all I love and care for Jesus to you. Please hear those lost without you; please hear those who have been lost.
Jesus despite any of my good or bad intentions or all my own personal demons that haunt me for what I desire; what I have lost or what I wish could be; I know “I Am Not Alone” https://youtu.be/Ow4OfW4DP9s @Kari Jobe. You Father God are always with all who allow you to be.
Please hear the cries of all who mourn today and always for the loss of life, for the suffering of those slowly dying from addictions, broken hearts, and illness.
Lord please release our entire loved one’s all who are your children all who want to be from the bondage this world and evil that entraps us.
Jesus please allow those who feel insignificant and lost feel your abundant love.
Please Father, bless us in and with your will, mercy and grace Father God? Show us how what we need to do Father.
Please forgive us all for our misdeeds big or small; purposed or just a mistake.
Forgive those who cannot forgive themselves for anything they have done or had done that has them stuck and unable to see the light in your promise.
Please soften the hearts of those who are less than perfect and out purposely doing things outside your will.
Guide and protect your fallen children and all who are out serving with intent to serve you. Thank you for even this day Jesus that is full of sadness as we walk through remembering all that has been lost.
May we find ourselves lost in you Jesus and your perfect will; may we all see “The Garden” in you https://youtu.be/tF2cjL3scWw@ Kari Jobe today and every day.
May we find ourselves in and with you Lord when we cannot see or be anywhere else that makes sense in this world?
May we find ourselves “In The Arms” of you Lord https://youtu.be/1dxOdCsK-ac as the beautiful voice of @Terrian sings out.
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Date: September 10, 2019
09/10/2019 Cruising with Kelly:
https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2431668336925648/
Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
Isaiah 46:4 (NIV) Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
Isaiah 54:10 (NIV)
10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be
removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Genesis 28:15
(NIV) 15 I am with you and will watch over you
wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you
until I have done what I have promised you.”
Matthew 28:20 (NIV) 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you for this day and the abilities you have given me. Physically, mentally good, bad or indifferent. Thank you, for the blessing given and abilities of choices we can make or do with this day.
Knowing you are with me Father God through all things, I am forever blessed.
So as I awoke this morning I had a very different mindset; and as normal for me when I got in my car and started driving and felt the Cruising with Kelly moments. My thought path took that of not letting negativity stick to us.
Easier said than done absolutely; we are surrounded by so many elements in this world be it people, places or things that just can drain us some days more than others.
Awareness in my own daily activities or how I sometimes add to others layers, or just the layers that I constantly carry myself.
Even though I am an avid faith believer in Jesus Christ and knowingly aware there is nothing in this world that can happen that He has not already experienced tenfold.
So what does that mean; cause if you listen to my Cruising with Kelly today; I am saying more or less own and be true to yourself; don’t try being like everyone else for what he or she do have or does. Stop thinking everything that gets up in front of us somehow could possibly really have anything to do with us as an individual.
Stop being so sensitive and ready to defend what we do not have all the facts or understandings.
Stop filling your spirit up with negative space; and when it comes to relationships in general. If you want to be with people, be with them because you truly care and appreciate all they truly are.
Love you more to be honest and not be a dream chaser.
Rub up on some of those beautiful souls to get that which makes them shine bright. Nevertheless, know it is only you and the relationship with God that will give you anything everlasting.
By me being a faith believer like so many in the world does not make me any more special or not special than the next soul. We are here and all been made for more than what we allow ourselves to believe. I just believe in the God of the Universe and all that Jesus was, is and forever will be.
However, in the world we all get caught up not paying enough attention to ourselves and what really matters in Christ. Instead, we focus on what others say, do, and many times think something said, something written is about us. Finding ourselves relating too closely becoming offended.
What if every single soul walked into where the message of Jesus given; and every one of felt the message was specifically for us individually and it was all positive and motivating?
I know I am a dreamer but wow, what a positive impact on the universe even for that moment in time.
Well not in my time would I ever see that happen; but what I can do individually is the best I can with what I am given by not adding to the negativity of this world to breed the best I can.
For my own soul and well-being and all those around me that I care for; if I plant one seed of positivity or at least not let negative grow from injustice seen, lived, or just those days you do not know why. Even the smallest difference grows into what matters in abundance
It is a struggle not to be mad, hurt, angry and distrusting of people in this world.
I will be the first to tell you. I have an abundance of lifetime experiences of in so many ways and times of misdirection, misunderstandings, loss, violation, and the story goes on and on straight through adulthood and believing in everyone else but my own self. It is not wrong to believe in others. Being very clear on that, if they are out there shining brightly and planting seeds of positive beauty in this world. That is a blessing that we all should feel good about and want to grow and be part of.
However, we need to put that same amount of passion, believe and compassion towards our own self-worth.
It took me years after I started my walk with God to realize my own worth and just because I am imperfect in an imperfect world; I am worth more than this world can ever give or take.
There are still many days I struggle with the lacking of my own significance; despite what I or anyone else said or did that caused that trigger, things sometimes are just hard and heavy.
We must know regardless of our own personal struggles that every single soul created for more than what we do; or allow done to ourselves or even believe for ourselves.
We need to take and stop feeding into the negative and start paying every day we are given forward with the best of who we are in gratitude and thanks for the blessings of life.
It takes work, it takes effort to not just do whatever comes along; including chasing people for what they do, who they are yet never getting to really know who they are from the inside out.
In addition, realistically how could we even come close to really know anyone; being most people never reveal them true selves because they are worried about image and what others may say or do?
We all change whom we are for the moment in time and what we are trying to achieve; part of our human nature even if we deny or take offense that we would never do such thing.
Bottom line many never even question as long as everyone is happily going along and nothing breaks with what we thought was working; until it’s not!
So finding ourselves, treating ourselves first with the respect, loyalty that we are created to have must always go before trying to do so for anyone else.
To do so we must purpose to want better and care more and know more of God and his everlasting promises. Then and only then, we can lead by example to and for the future of our children and any one we finally make that earthly lifetime commitment with.
Knowing even then there is no guarantee for any relationship or positive outcome on any given day. But we will know there are greater We daily must purpose to keep moving forward and disregard working through all negative results of any choice we make or that made by others. Nope just because what is done is done; never changes how we really hurt at times and care about people that do not care about themselves or care about us. No one should ever rob you of life because of another’s choice.
No matter what is or what is not; if you have air in your lungs and movement in your body. You are blessed; do not let anything or anyone take that from you. Surround yourself with no agenda friends who love you for you.
So why do I even ramble on about such things. Because I am sure I am not the only one. I am surrounded daily by super sensitive personalities that the world is falling apart and everything is wrong; yet there is no motivation to dare to step up step out and change even the slightest thing. That at any given time I either have to remind people not around me; or the fact that none of us are promised anything to be easy. If someone has told you that, you most likely will be looking over your shoulder 24/7 to find out what will happen next because if it is that easy it cannot be true, or morally right to be doing or taking. Not without working for it.
Nevertheless, anything worthwhile worth having is worth the effort and the pain.
My perspective even if I too struggle with being weary at times. Anyway, Stay blessed!
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Thou I may struggle even fall thinking I will never get back up to stand at all
You Jesus allow me life never saying it would be easy and never condemning what is wrong or right
For if we believe in you Lord, while you keep us safe; eternity is our goal as you are the key and death is the gate
Protect us from ourselves while this world keeps us busy or amused
Prayers we never forget any good, bad or even any of what is lost
Just that we remember where our blessings come from and the priceless cost
So, on those days we stand in the middle of no where
Feeling insignificance or offense for what all others pretend
As they toil and play; while saying one thing but always show their true colors over and over again
You Lord are the one and only truth, the way the only real comfort and friend
You have never let us down; no matter what was or is; no matter lost or found
It is you Jesus that gives us redemption and choice allowing us to wear that jeweled crown.
Thank you for never giving up on me
Thank you for seeing past what others just can't see
Thank you for the gift of eternity
May all that I love near or far have the blessings of your will no matter what they do or who they are.
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Date: September 9, 2019
Verse of the
Day (Biblegateway.com):
Titus 2:2 (NIV) Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
Isaiah 26: 4 (NIV)
4 Trust in the Lord
forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.
Psalms 9:10 (NIV) 10 Those
who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord,
have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psalms 25:4-5
(NIV) 4 Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. 5 Guide
me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is
in you all day long.
Proverbs 3:5-6
(NIV) 5 Trust in the Lord
with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in
all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.[a]
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thank you for another day Father God as it is your will got me up.
May all I do be pleasing to you and not wrapped around who I want to be selfishly wishing or even pushing through trying to be.
I fall short daily entrapping myself in things this world has to offer or desires of the flesh. Be it how I look or wish to look; material things; surrounded by people that the world says should or do matter. Not who I once was for sure; but still falling short daily.
Lord may I always know my surroundings and even when I fall short, which I will its just timing. May I work towards what is pleasing to you? Stop jumping out and trying to fix or assist what is not your will. Grant me the true wisdom to know the difference.
Reminded last evening when I went up to watch the sunset, knowing just how close I am to you, yet so very far away.
So, caught up with concerns sometimes of life around me, and/or all that is or is not happening with or for my family. All day-to-day mundane nonsense that layers up. Forgetting to stop and absorb every single moment of being allowed this life and remembering who you are and what you bless us with daily.
It is funny we can travel out in the vast ocean or travel the world to see all the wonders the world has to offer.
Yet we forget to look and absorb the beauty and blessings you give right in front of us. We can see you in “Everything” like the song https://youtu.be/7RIp_t3gKZw @TobyMac reminded us now a year ago. This is crazy that my eyes opened so much differently when I first heard this song back then.
Then my life seemed to change as well. Thank you for all the ways you use people, places and things to bring us closer to you Jesus. Thank you for all you have allowed me.
It has been a very interesting growth period with you Father God this past couple of years. Still obedient for you and you alone, because if I had my way, well my shortcomings reflect most times I just do and never think.
Sure, like many of this world where I always dare to be me. But I too jump straight away into the fires as many do; without even a thought still when it comes to something’s.
Maybe it’s because I know my good intentions may burn but I will get out and cool down then bury the scars of my mistakes while keep moving forward.
Yes, I pray pretty much all the time but especially when it comes to influencing decisions. Oh, how I am still learning though; those signs of what is a sign of temptation a trial or just plain foolishness; well still working that out daily.
I am trying harder to be smarter however; something about my nature falls short to turn things off in the world when it comes to helping. Perhaps that deep-rooted notion from growing up with nothing and learning how it was to get everything on my own, makes me want to fix everything for everyone.
Especially anyone I really care about. Family, friend it really does not matter if your blood or not. If I care I can't do anything about it. On the other hand, maybe I am just a very kind person and there really is nothing wrong with wanting to always be; but maybe I just need an accountability partner or even both.
You know me best Father God! You know me better than I will ever know myself.
No matter the cause, the affect or any reasons thereof you Jesus have blessed me in this journey. May I never forget where my sustenance comes from!
Moreover, may whatever I do; shine a glimmer of hope for those in need and/or pointing all I connect with back to you.
No matter how good or bad my days come; may everything always leads back and through you Jesus.
No matter what is or what will be; as I reflect back on this life; even these past couple years. I know there will always be much I never understand; with more that, I crave or even am saddened for loss of opportunities I yearn for not transpiring.
For those I thought too long on that never worked out; or even those I did not think enough on and worked out but not as I anticipated.
I ask on behalf not only for me but all my family, my friends, my connections Your will Father God not mine or anyone else here on earth be done.
Please guide and protect all that I am as I walk with purpose and accountability. May protection and guidance, mercy and Grace continue to all I am and love for all of my remaining days? Thank you for this day and all you allow me to experience.
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Date: September 8, 2019
Verse of the
Day (Biblegateway.com):
Psalms 143:10a (NIV) Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
Meditation Moment Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
Psalm 42:5 - 2 (NIV) 5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
2 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV) 4 For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God’s power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God’s power we will live with him in our dealing with you.
Jeremiah 31:25 (NIV) 25 I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”
Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my
perspectives and/or feelings):
Thankful for another day and I am sure it will not be all happiness and roses. Of course, I do not anticipate anything bad to occur. But life happens every day, like in the movie Forrest Gump “Life is like a box of chocolates”; you never know what you will get on the inside”. Be it things that go wrong that I am trying to fulfill or accomplish be it is my daily duties, work or just trying to help somewhere.
We all know these days we can be driving up the road minding our own business and people just tend to allow their bad days or bad behavior lacking respect to flow freely.
So, anything unknown can happen in our travels and footsteps. But one thing is for sure. We are blessed; I am blessed to have another day of opportunities.
Sure, I could have woke up rolled over and been in triggered into some sad depressed state as I am reminded when I roll over and see not a life partner but the remotes and my cell phone lying next to me. That can be depressing if you allow it to be.
Singleness is a choice, for each and every one of us!
Sure, we can get the hookups anytime you want; it does not matter who we are, what we look like or what we do. If you really want to give yourself there is always someone out there that is willing to play the game; tell you what you want to hear and take the pieces of you that will never be replaced.
Things will always be good, so you think until you either stop it or they tire and seek something or someone else; or worse yet you end up with life changing diseases or decisions to make.
All that will leave you feeling like the puzzle pieces that will never fit back together again. Sure if your one of those that do not care and you are just out there for the physical activity; well whatever. That has never been one of my things to purpose giving myself away with no meaning. I value my health far too much; never been one to play now pay later.
However, in this world and the way human nature works and what some believe now days; it just is what it is for some.
Personally, I believe we are lacking moral values and we truly have to purpose to respect ourselves knowing our worth and set boundaries and goals if we want what is lasting.
More than that why chase what is a temporal feeling for ecstasy instead purpose for that of a lifetime to fulfill by working with a partner daily finding new things and beauty in all that found daily.
Yes, that could be a good story and far from easy when you are single and maintaining obedience and purpose. Not giving in or giving up to the world’s ways.
No judgment zone here for those who are out there doing your thing. Unless of course you are family and then yes, I may not say it loudly or often enough. But you matter far more than what anything temporary of this world can give or take from you. So, stop giving pieces of you away that you will never get back.
Stop trying on new relationships to see which one fits the best only to be almost at that moment of commitment and quitting with some excuse why it can’t be or blame.
Why would anyone ever want to purchase the deed to forever when they are given the party now free? Back in my day I heard the term why they would buy the cow when they get the milk for free. Personally, me imagining human life as a cow male or female is pretty stinking ridiculous.
The point is made though. If I choose to be single and wait for what God has in store this is my choice. Is it because I don’t like affection or don’t have desires? Sorry but HELL no!
Absolutely opposite; I believe that humanity is the abstract artwork and the world is our canvas given by God. For me being a female, I can joke about things as I once did before I really fell in love with which Jesus is and before I have been filled with the spirit.
But the truth is; I would never be who I am today without Him; I would never have the courage and strength that I have been blessed to walk with for years if it had not been Gods saving grace. The day I finally got it working on a college paper and jumping up out of the blue realizing I have never been alone in this world that God is always with us; was always with me.
He set me free and allowed me a new walk in life. All the years before walking forward, before becoming an immersed believer, I was always the one working multiple jobs; always-in college or taking up technical classes. Always the one paying the bills and supporting those who I thought needed to be with me.
Including anyone that was in need; my world was rocked a thousand times over from the day I was an adult and I choose to get into a relationship. Believing in people that they would be forever; that I was the only one; that there was really that one person out there who would work with and for me as I them.
Heartbroken a billion times; along with all my before walking with God physical and emotional abuse that at times I thought was how life and love was.
To know what it is like to be marrying for the first time and your husband takes everything you own but the clothes on your back and throws them in a burn pile saying you need nothing else but what we have now. Unfortunately, my ex-husband had many hidden secrets and disapproved greatly of anything I thought of or did.
Including thinking for myself and almost forbid my writings even back then.
Or even when you wake up looking for your partner in the house and finding them in the other end of the house with someone else; or even being mortified because your partner got drunk at dinner and grabs a waitress by their crotch at the local restaurant.
Yes, relationships and I; hmmm well I was never so good because I never believed in myself enough to really understand there was more to life. Growing up in a single parent no parent home you do not learn much I can assure you. You learn how to survive and fill the immediate needs of the day.
But enough about that; you see when you are dealt a crappy hand and no one to really teach you your worth and guide you to what the good Lord really sees His children as. You do the best you can with what you have to work with.
I would not be who I am today had I not been through the layers of trials throughout my walk in this life. No matter when it has been good, bad or indifferent walking through a fire or on a path that God has allowed me to be.
I am here today and have been for years on and off sharing the bits and pieces of the blessings of each new day he has given me.
What I can say is this mind maze unwinding this morning is that I choose my singleness awaiting my future husband of my next life freely. Knowing I have been married to Christ since 1995 and awaiting my future husband to get home from his business trip since 2005. Well that may seem like a long time to wait; but you know what when God has hold of you it’s hard to explain but love matters more than anything else.
To hold someone so tight and know its forever?
Only God can fulfill that and it's okay. I know what it is like to be blessed and loved from the inside out.
Have I on occasion wandered mentally and even at times started in conversations with friends and realized not yet? Yes!
Have I even grown truly attached to beautiful souls that I have missed terribly because time and life moves on and there is no real reason why I even feel so attached. Yes!
Do I easily feel heartbroken when I see those relationships I admire and believe in; tainted and broken? Yes!
However, the world and it's so called standards are making it alright for people to do what they do. I know one thing I try not to publicly make judgment unless I see a child, elder or even a disabled person being harmed. Then well I just can’t keep my mouth closed. We all have to answer to and for our own discretions. We all have to accept accountability for the choices we make and the results that come after.
One thing for sure about me; that even in my darkest relationship I have never stepped out to fill in any gaps where I was missing something or unhappy. I have never been one to trade people in because they lack all the qualities at the moment in time should have been.
So, for me to openly wait for my future husband of my next life to get home; while waking up with a television remote, book, journal, phone or even a grand kid or pet next to me. Well then, I am blessed.
To have that ability and know who I am; and knowing that no matter what society and all the creeps of this world can do to a child; to a person in general. I do not have to guess my worth no matter what I have lived through in this life; no matter what mess ups I have made with bad choices; no matter what blessings await.
When the good Lord wishes to reveal what is next in my life I am here. Do I have standards or visions? Absolutely and no they are not of sugar plum fairies dancing in my head.
So what if the world says I am missing out; I surround myself with and have for years with my family in Christ and when I want to do things; I circle up with friends and/or just go do it or sometimes wandering by myself.
In any case since the day I came up out of the water. I have been blessed daily to learn more and more of who I am. Most importantly I know to whom I belong to which is our Lord and Creator of all things who is by the way a Jealous God.
So, nothing else quick or easy will ever do. So where is this message out of that deep vaulted mind maze of mine supposed to be taking anyone?
We are all worth far more than anything this world can give or take. None of us deserves anything; yet we are blessed with everything. Do not give pieces of yourself away for temporal satisfaction that you will only have to chase over and over.
If you are married and there are some mountains in front of you; as long as there is no physical or mental abuse to you or your family; it is okay to fight to make it work where you can. When things are hard, pray harder.
Sometimes people should have never been together in the first place, sometimes people grow apart. Know that if truly there is no going back. You will be okay and give all you are to the one who made you and blesses you daily with new opportunities daily. It is okay to love someone that you cannot be with; imagine what Jesus feels for all of humanity and those that will never acknowledge Him.
If things are going well for your relationship; just know there will be mountains and to work together with your spouse to climb up and over. Always put God first leading the way and yes honor, respect and loyalty go far beyond than that of never stepping out and deceiving your life partner.
Much love, peace and prayers. More thanks for reading the mind maze that flows out not knowing what direction it will go any given day. In Christ all things are possible know that always!
I have to thank all the beautiful worship leaders out there using their talents, voices and abilities to share the gospel in their own unique ways each and every day in all that they do.
I am inspired by and through all the love and ability my soul has at times to really feel the spirit move through many artists such as @TobyMac, @Bethel, @Cory Asbury, @HillSong, @Mandisa, @Elevation Worship, @Kid Rock, @Natalie Grant and my list can go on and on; but for today these two songs sum up my morning thoughts.
Because I have always been and always will be “In Over My Head” https://youtu.be/qv3-TDdD1pM by the beautiful vocals and spirit of @Jenn Johnson off the We Will Not Be Shaken album
Because I know that, the greatness of our God and His “Reckless Love” https://youtu.be/Sc6SSHuZvQE that @Cory Asbury reminds us of will flow forever be what gives me strength when nothing else can. Thank you, Jesus,
