Monday, May 4, 2020

05.Wk2_2020_May(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)



Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)


 ===May Verse of the month for the Mandisa Word Warriors found  @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020.=====


Ephesians 1:5-6 (TBT)  5–6 For it was always in his perfect plan[a] to adopt[b] us as his delightful children, through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that his tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify his grace[c]—for the same love he has for his Beloved One, Jesus, he has for us. And this unfolding plan brings him great pleasure!


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Date: 05/09/2020 Saturday





Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)


https://www.facebook.com/newlifeccspringhill/videos/597257801136976/?t=66   “Morning Meditations with Pastor Al” @New Life Christian Church – Spring Hill


https://youtu.be/IuDL75N3qM8 “Walking Miracles” @Matthew West


https://youtu.be/MX1G71WK-FA  “Move (Keep Walkin’)” @TobyMac





Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):




Thank you, Lord, for this day.  Awake another day, up and moving faster in this mind then physically moving.  



Let us see what is in this mind as I have already gotten the house fully cleaned, organized, and now out started painting the outside as I have had been my mind for the past 6-12 months.



While physically looking at my cup of coffee needing a warmup and trying to stay focused on morning mediation this day.   The kids are laughing loudly with that puppy.  Oh yes that puppy that is such a beautiful creature yet so very messy and noisy.    With the kids echoing, I did not remember it would be so much work.   



My day started with strangers reaching out wanting to chat.  I have never really met a stranger truly!    I find it always nice to meet new souls in person.  And truthfully, I struggle believing anyone one I do not know in person already when folks want to chat online.



I try to never be cruel and always try to wish the best in all that is good for any and everything  any day to day brings. 




But my mind is taking back to the day that only one I need in this life reflects in Toby’s song I just need you.   No matter if the day gets you up knowing most of our days, we just Ain’t got enough and those wolves just keep coming around.




Lord I just need you.    In this lifetime I have had my fill of pretenders.    https://youtu.be/BfbIoUMdKZ0   “I  Just Need U” @TobyMac


Really!    Talking to strangers in person with no expectation has a whole different vibe and can be relaxing.   Talking to complete strangers online that are just trying to pump info out of you or see what they can get.  That gets old man.     I get it with some of those with celebrity status.   I am connected with a few people and really do not chat just every now and again say hey or share a thought here and there.     What makes us think we are that important that makes us think we can want from someone.  Or those that that cannot breathe because someone always wants to connect thinking if they say they know that person they will get some kind of a boost in status.





We are all just humans; beautifully broken, bright in some area’s and really dark in others to release a piece of the puzzle in Gods canvas.



From hip hop, blues and so much funky rhythms that pound out in our day-to-days.     Are we looking for a way out; are we looking for a way to ride on the coattails of others that are doing it or just trying to have some of the life they bring by anything they do to rub off and help keep us lifted up for our next steps.  Nothing more, nothing less but pure honest well-being.  Sharing a love and hope.



As I am reminded thinking today is one of my besties birthdays that died suddenly a couple years ago when they stood up.    God, I miss those that have been taken ahead.   But, none of know when our timestamp out will come.






It is not many outsides of you Jesus, that we have those true down to earth, no agenda friends.  That we can see each other every day or once every ten years and just connect with no expectations but share life and laugh and love who and where we are.  Just enjoying whatever time, we share until the next.






Never looking for handouts, never caught up in the nonsense of what ifs.  Straight talking no matter what.    I think even those who ended up lost before going home with you; even when they were functional addicts that I could have trusted my life with; just knowing even though I was not doing what they did, not once did they ever rob, lie or take from me.   They just appreciated the moments that we motivated together trying to find the deeper meaning with God and always reflecting how much talent and purpose they had.



 Twenty or two years, or days.    Gone is life as we would ever know it.  The wolves in sheep’s clothing are dressing with more care and able to play out the façade so much better as their agendas teamed up with others filling a purpose they hide in the dark.  Perhaps the scars they acquired were just layered up and they never were able to come find you directly Jesus. 





We all broken people are we not, God?  But we are not alone.   https://youtu.be/yVj8DogtbVY    “Scars (Come With Livin)” @TobyMac   






Yes, it is that kind of a reminiscing day, listening to what use too be my favorite up lifting artists and band.   I just got too close and even without expectation allowed the world to well let’s just say I cannot look at life the same.    Absolutely my go to music and give praise and thanks for the strength they reflect even in the torment they go through.    I will always adore everything about their souls.    But these past couple of years have been tough in so many ways.






I think God showed me it’s okay to connect with people and live forward.   But it is not my place to be the rescue ranger for anyone.






I have always loved people for who they are and yes appreciated many for what they do.  Especially in the music business.    Music for me is like I guess drugs for the drug addict.   I just cannot get enough of it.  






Always needing to know more, feeling it while some songs take me to places, I once was just by a note or verse.  So does some that allows me to soar forward. 


 


 My word this year was CLARITY yes, trying to find clarity in such muddy waters that flow through out this world.   


Seeking the real you, not caring who, or what you do.  Just knowing the meaning of truth is the depth of the soul and all you keep true.   


 Finding your place in reconciliation and doing what Gods purpose is or just that of finding your way through all the broken pieces of what is called life.      https://youtu.be/C-Hhl526_zc “The Real You” @TobyMac   - Lost Demo’s


Just keeping it real for all that is good all that is pure and all that is God breathed.    Tall order is it not.   We the people! 


 


 As I smile saying that thinking back to Gouverneaur Morris  and his finishing touches to the Founding Fathers speech around the United States Constitution.


So crazy how this mind allows so many journeys all in one trip.


We are given life and not meant to stay down when we fall or get tripped up. 


 We are meant to grow and do good things to, with and for all we come in connection with.   Selflessly but unfortunately, we know more about doing it selfishly for whatever the ambitions that drive us.   Be it correcting our previous mistakes, rescuing our family, friends.   Alone or getting all our besties in on the ride.   


At some point we have to look up and realize it is only God we should always be going through.  First while listening and doing whatever comes next or nothing at all.



It is Jesus that fills us with the passion that will never be lost.  Even if things no longer are what they once were.

So last night once I got woke up; and most of the time is what happens when I have those that come and go all hours of the night.   It will change as it is getting old.



For now, it is what it is.   Trying not to lose my temper or end up in jail for when I snatch them up and put them in a headlock and noogie them until they say uncle and make them get what respect and responsibility is.    Trust me beating sense into anyone does not work for those who do not want to be sensible.

We all go that one; and right now, with this pandemic well they are pushing the limits.     But life will change for more responsible growth in the near future.

No excuses, it is just not about me even though many out there are alone and wish they had the chaos.   There is a fine line of respectable honest growth. 


Sometimes those of us who are worker bees need to stop and make others to stand up and take flight for the journey they need.  Unfortunately, not trying to make it easy to be irresponsible in thinking through and making the next steps that we do


You absolutely learn what patience is like at times when you try to fix people and their lack of responsible choices at times.  We/I sometimes make it too easy to contribute to the cause of enablement of their shortcomings.  


 


It does not stop me from trying to make lemonade out of lemons on those days, trying to keep it positive.  


But something that has been layering up knowing I put my life on hold so I could be stability for littles and wait for others to start walking not perfectly but towards and with my Jesus.  While least fake it when it comes to how we talk, and what we do in front of others.


I guess it is just time when two families must do their own thing in their own spaces.   That uphill climb, and battle will always be for all of us.






Even those pretenders out there trying to connect to get whatever they can from those who just care or perhaps really have no one or nothing and are seeking something good through others.  Who knows?    We all do what we do when we do it for whatever the reasons driving us.


I stopped chasing expecting anything a long time ago from anyone in this lifetime.   When I am blessed, I am truly blessed.    



Remembering those lessons, I last learned stopped me in my tracks and derailed me big time physically.    Not because of anything materially of this world.    But that I emotionally allowed myself to derail my journey even though all my triggers were God breathed.  I just was not prepared or knew  how to handle life in that stage.



Trust me when I say, I always want to see good work out in bad situations.


 


  I always want to see justice by the power of God and the blood he allows flowing through my veins. To all those who do evil to others.  


  I pray for brokenness to be put back together bigger, better and reconciliations that are truly real to take place.   Unmasking all that is fake and yes, the dreamer in me.  Seeing everyone in life doing their best for all that is good with moral values and judgment.



Maybe that is why I like music so much; cause in the real world it’s what can take me to places I never knew or back in time when things were so simple and we did not have to worry so much about the darkness of people trying to consume everything they can with a tap of a keyboard or smile on a fake persona.

But this is life!  This is  what it feels like.   Good, bad, or indifferent.  However just as it says in Romans 8:28 (NIV) 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.






Those who walk with God can do all things and will be blessed throughout eternity.    Even when the world shakes or the people in it are not who they pretend to be.    God is, was and will forever be the truth, the light, and the way.


So, as I am reminded of many things this day after staying up late watching the movie The Most Hated Women in America by the way which  is based on a true story that I never knew about until last night.



We all get to choose even in the rough spots when we are fighting for our own survival towards who God really meant for us to be.       We are not what we do unless we choose to keep believing and doing it.    The soul that is within, the conscious or lack of for all that drives us.  


All I can ask is who or what really drives you and, in the end, what is it are you chasing and why?

If you get this rush because of power over others, or the ability to get over on others.  Just know at some point in the life you have.  You will have to answer for all you do.     As for me;   as in




Micah 7:7 (NIV) But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.





I could not tell you how I got here; just that there are many messes in this journey that God turned into messages of hope.  Filling me with a peace I could not explain.    


Even while I watch and hurt those I am connected suffer and going through stuff or suffering abundant loss that will never be repaired or replaced. 


  Have hope in he who created all things and gives air in the lungs you use to breathe.   When times are tough and dark, and you cannot find the light in anything or anyone. Just do your best to be it.    The smallest action, word or deed can give or take life.


Choose life please!     Some of my favorite go to and signature lines.


  " Say no to anything that is not a high-value use of your time and your life.    ~ Brian Tracy"  



I wish you enough of everything to get through; But never too much to forget how to humble ourselves!  ~AlwaysMeKelly      

Cruising with Kelly https://www.facebook.com/alwaysJustmeKelly/videos/2948867971872346/?t=1


 


Weekend Services @ New Life Christian Church - Spring Hill




 


Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation)


Romans 8:1-2(NIV)


Life Through the Spirit


Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death.



Psalms 36 (NIV)


For the director of music. Of David the servant of the Lord.


I have a message from God in my heart
    
concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:[b]
There is no fear of God
    
before their eyes.



In their own eyes they flatter themselves
    
too much to detect or hate their sin.


The words of their mouths are wicked and deceitful;
    
they fail to act wisely or do good.
Even on their beds they plot evil;
    
they commit themselves to a sinful course
    
and do not reject what is wrong.

Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,
    
your faithfulness to the skies.


Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
    
your justice like the great deep.


    
You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.
How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!


    
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
    
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
    
in your light we see light.



10 Continue your love to those who know you,
    
your righteousness to the upright in heart.
11 May the foot of the proud not come against me,
    
nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.


12 See how the evildoers lie fallen—
    
thrown down, not able to rise!

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Date: 05/08/2020  Friday


Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

https://youtu.be/BtDgPPvUjmI  “Lost Demo’s” @TobyMac


https://youtu.be/fkBtrPWSKM8 “Be A Light” @Thomas Rhett ft. Keith Urban, Chris Tomlin, Hillary Scott and Reba McEntire




 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):



Thank you, Jesus, for this new day.   Thank you for the blessing of new music and reminders we are all your children all going through the stuff we call life here on earth.   We are never on our own even when we fight with ourselves believing we are.



Lost demo’s, lost souls, lost children.   Is it really lost; perhaps we are truly found in you even if we cannot see it?     You loan us time, loan us life giving blessings of what it is like to see through God’s eyes.   Watching the sacrifice of our children and our broken hearts.



It is you that allow our lungs to work, give us  motion and keep all the molecules, cells and elements that tie our laminin making us alive for and with you Jesus.



What is this invisible spiritual war we get so entangled before knowing who is fighting before, with and after us? 



Motivation pulled out from under us as we allow ourselves to be tied in knots over what we have no control in the first place.



Yes, those that we love hard and lose for whatever the cause.  The pain is real; but what about you Jesus.  What was it like for your Father God to put on flesh and come down and allow crucifixion to give an unkind to down-right cruel world would have life?



As we watch the world that was spinning fast out of control be put on a lock down and almost stop.  Lord you know all things; but was this you?



What about so many sufferings, alone that truly are just the innocent pawns in this chess game?



What about those who walk in the dark spewing their hate and pain upon others; will there be justice?



I myself Jesus am nothing without you and my deepest desires more than anything this flesh has given up remaining obedient to you.    To see my children safe and focused in your arms Father God.  Yet the closer I get the actions of some are totally in the opposite direction.



Torment and twisted as I need to make them go stand on their own; but cannot release the littles into this dark world without a fight.



How, what, why is this Jesus.    At least you walked honoring your father.   Cared without being consumed.   Suffered yes as the father watched.   How do we move or where do we go next to do what is to be for you Lord?



Passion never counts the cost; this skinny little kid finally giving in back in the day and believing someone cared about me and I found that Ozzy and Harriett forever going to build that house and white picket fence.



To find myself alone carrying the unknown of my first born, laying alone in the hospital raising a child alone finding myself a few years later doing it all again only given a huge time out when hospitalized for months.     Given the drive to know there was something more.   Putting myself through college; remaining dedicated to being accountable working going to school to make a way.



Going to your house Lord every Sunday and on holidays.     Yet never truly knowing you until later in life.



All the while it was You who never left me.   I should have been taken from this world a billion times; yet now as I look up all I can do is say thank you for what I will never understand.



Going through moments here and now do I forget you are with me?  Yes, as I get in that spin chasing the feeling and fighting with myself.   How could I ever believe anyone in humanity when I have been let down so often.  Even by my own choices.     So close I can touch it yet all I can do is love through my soul and touch in my dreams.



I never want to live without you Jesus and no matter how wrong or right.  The brokenness that has given me life will not allow me to repeat what did not work before I met you.   So, anything I do with you must be real and forever.   Not made up, not take the chance and if it does not work out oh well; we can find a replacement until it does.



I do not want to live without you Jesus!  I Cannot!

Far from perfect but I cannot give away my blessings of the life you give for anything or anyone that will not be there through the end and meet me on the other side.



There is much beauty and things of temporal comfort in this world.  But Jesus I want it all in you throughout eternity.  If that unfortunately means I know I came in this world alone, and I will be leaving alone.   You have taught me although I will be very lonely at times as I see through so many.    You have and always will be with and for me.



If that allows my growth into a beautiful garden from the pit and grave, I once was in.  So be it.   If I am wrong, well at least I am not just following the world and truly living with a purpose of chasing and holding onto the one who allows the moon and stars to hang in this beautiful atmosphere with and in love.

So much love I have been given, so much to give as I toil with what next or why.   Lord you know me inside out.  You have all that I am, and I seek love, life, laughter, protection, and obedience for all that is good, all that is kind all that is growth for the good in and through you.



Show your children Jesus what you want from us.  If I am to touch one life or many so be it.   May the same love that you fill me from the inside out; wash over all I am connected with and in peace and harmony.   May your will be done in it all Jesus!



Allow us please to come alive with you!  Bless those Lord who walk with you in sight, in mind and motivation with all the energy to give and speak life.  Even through the storms.



Thank you for all the good, all the bad, all those that lead spiritually through and with you.   Thank you for every new opportunity you allow this vessel back up.



As I lift these hands may your warmth and love always flow like a raging river through all that I am.  For all that you have created.



May we all come alive with you Jesus! https://youtu.be/Z9sVQaunK6E   “Amen” @for King and Country




Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 


Colossians 4:5-6 (NIV) Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.


John 16:33 (NIV) 33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”


Isaiah 41:13 (NIV) 13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Genesis 50:20 (NIV) 20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about [a]this present result, to preserve many people alive.


Psalm 23:4 (NASB) Even though I walk through the [a]valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no [b]evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.



Philippians 4:13 (NIV) 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

 


===========================





Date: 05/07/2020  Thursday



Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)



https://youtu.be/A8TtOIMaKKA   “Be Still” @Jeremy Riddle




 Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):


1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV


Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.



Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com): (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 


Deuteronomy 4:23-24 (NIV) 23 Be careful not to forget the covenant of the Lord your God that he made with you; do not make for yourselves an idol in the form of anything the Lord your God has forbidden. 24 For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.



Isaiah 43:2-3 (NIV) When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;  I give Egypt for your ransom,
    Cush[a] and Seba in your stead.

 Psalm 24 (NIV)


The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it;


for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters.



Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?


    Who may stand in his holy place?


The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol
    or swear by a false god.[a]  They will receive blessing from the Lord
    and vindication from God their Savior. 



Such is the generation of those who seek him,
    who seek your face, God of Jacob.[b][c] 



Lift up your heads, you gates;  be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.



 Who is this King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle.



 Lift up your heads, you gates; lift them up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in. 10 Who is he, this King of glory?      The Lord Almighty—   he is the King of glory.



 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):



“Once a man was asked “What did you gain by regularly praying to God?”  The man replied, “Nothing… but let me tell you what I lost:  Anger, Ego, Greed, Depression, Insecurity, and Fear of Death.”  Sometimes, the answer to our prayers is not gaining but losing, which ultimately is a gain.”   @Straight Up Recovery

Never judge a book by the cover and if you live and watch the movie that is played out with that same book; you will realize you never really knew who someone really is.


We all have parts to play in this vast movie set.   The good, the bad the ugly and at anytime  the rolls switch up based on the character’s drive for success and personality.


Watch out for the quiet ones as they always have the real them to hide; be it protecting or covering up.   Perhaps just their nature to absorb whatever drama free beauty that is allowed.


Those always drawing attention themselves.  Starving for something that no matter how many times they give themselves away or draw attention.  They just cannot seem to fulfill that need, that craving.   In fact, many waking up each new day blessed filled with hate, anger pity and excuse.


What would Jesus do?   What or how did the first soul in this messed up script that man has written really not understand who God the Father  and Jesus Christ his son truly is?


As I have had little sleep again; thanks to a weird full moon night I believe.   Stray animals coming up on the property making my kids boy cat highly agitated.   Leading to dogs barking, then the kid just coming and going all hours of the night.


Once I wake, I do not go back to sleep it is just what it is.   I can tell you I am too old for this child nonsense.  This Pandemic quarantine is taking its toll.  Prayerfully the drama will be minimal in the end.


 But to no surprise whenever this mind does not get enough rest the firing pins go in all directions.   As I pump up on caffeine today to keep me running in a full day of meetings and end of day annual follow-up to see what this heart looks like.


 


In between I am sure the layers of dust and that of annoyance will be ruffled in the wind.    This soul who has been working since I was 14 years old making a way supporting myself and taking care of my own responsibilities.    Well she is tired of others weighing down the wings God gave her.     And all that nonsensical disrespect for selves and the one that shelters them.


So far from perfect messing up daily. I am not qualified to be that subject matter expert or theologian to speak about God and what He can do for you.    I can only tell you what he has done for me. 


The least of these what does that mean?  Do not get it twisted for those that are continually out there playing in the devil’s sandbox; willingly giving themselves away, being dirty and allowing those there with them to disrespect and take advantage of what humanity was not created for.


God will sort things out; but as a parent we do most times as much as we can to try to persuade and change the walk our children take.  When in the end it really is their own choice and we have to choose to let go and let God.


Everyone has an answer for what we should do in all aspects of our life.    Good, bad, indifferent some just because they think they are an authority while others just well-meaning humans.   


Get this; though we will all grow weary over stuff in life.  We all are needing to draw boundary lines for the stuff that keeps us up at night.       Not gossip about it; not walk around with the doom and gloom falling into that rut of self-absorption  and limited view.


Tolerance is our own choice of when we say enough is enough! 


 Some have an a high-tolerance and for their own reasoning.  


What we do, when we do it is between those souls that participate and the God who is with us through all things. 


Judgement for us is the simple application of common sense and doing what is morally right with positive growth as an end result; or at least not bad behavior, destruction, or demeaning results towards anyone or even that of ourselves.


That includes what we are willing to receive as well as give even when it comes to our own blood.  


The saying “Until you walk a mile in my shoes”    Well I got news for you; there is much more commonality in this world and our prodigal children than there is different.


No one should be giving or accepting bad behavior or disrespectful actions from anyone. Be it in word or action.     What you allow is for your own painful processing in which you could set yourself up for something that never ends. 


As a parent I only want to what is good and helps the growth with stability and moral judgement.  However, I cannot force the littles, or the parents of them to do what is right and think about how we all lead by example even when we are not signing up for it.


Someone is always watching, so what you do over here they will repeat over there!   Each generation that comes after us thinks they are smarter and have it all together even when they are heading for that sandbox.     But hey,  didn’t we do the same thing as we were growing.


I do not condone or condemn people for the choices they make.  However, including those I do not know just my own bloodline.    I pray and sometimes weep hard.  


In my time  I have seen so many beautiful souls, with so much talent set down that moral compass and try to do all their own way and not necessarily towards positive growth forward.   Instead head right into the devil’s sandbox.   Playing with drugs, and wrong doings.  Losing self and respect for themselves.


Disrespecting parents and taking advantage with no cares in the world.   Some justifying behaviors because of who they are, where they are coming from or what has happened to them.


At what point do they get it and change for the better?   Sometimes as a parent we never get to see it happen.   We just pray that all we have done, said, and planted within is enough.  In the end God takes them back when he is ready.


In the meantime, for me I need all the prayers I can get.   Far from perfect I will always be.


My choices to always be there for my children and grandchildren came from never having anyone there for me.


I can assure you when you are climbing out of the pits of hell with scars and layers of dirt that were layered upon you before you were even born.    And all those that are self-serving along the way.    You want the best for those you are blessed with.   Or at least I hope humanity is not that far gone that we all do.


We all got issues!    A toddler has their issues and throws the temper tantrum and as adults we do the same thing in our own way when things do not go our way of wants.


We use people, places and things then discard them like trash when we are done.   Like none of it ever mattered until we need something again.  All born into sin all born with sin in our blood.   


Our choices matter, as we lead by example even if we do not care or have it in our planned agenda.    Everything we do; everything we say matters when it comes to speaking life.


There are not enough souls in this world that are willing to truly stand up for injustice, stopping the hate if we ever could.   I will never really know the right way to stop the hate and violence and consumption of our littles like they are candy being discontinued.


 


What is a man with everything in the world if he has no soul?   All kings, leaders, people we put up on that platform eventually come back down to reality.  Just unfortunately some fall really hard taking innocence and purity with them.


 


Enough chatter out of the depths of one’s soul.    Restless nights letting go while forever holding on.  Just exhale and breathe in the essence of who Jesus wants us to be!


To do that you have to be in relationship with him.   You cannot hear from God or truly be blessed until you have that personal relationship with Jesus first.   And only you can do that.   No one can do it for you. 


We are all broken people; we are all trying to live and grow in the best ways we know of for ourselves and those we care about.    However, the only everlasting will be that with Jesus with us!


Father God, thank you for allowing me life, choices, and all that goes with it.  Thank you for allowing me this new day and any opportunity that comes this day.   May I do my best in all that I am with you to speak life, no matter what the circumstance.


As I lift up all my connections all those I do not yet know and all the leaders of this world.  Jesus may your love and mighty power wash through us all.  Wiping away all of this disease, be it the virus, the mental and physical emotional imbalances of life.   Wash away all who hate Father God!    Bring justice now to those who work in Satan’s army.  Crush the darkness in this world, in all I am connected,  in me!


No matter who or what we think we are.  May the truth Father God be revealed as we are nothing without Jesus Christ.   And Jesus wants us in relationship with him here and now.   No matter what we think we have done or are planning to do.    We have done nothing that removes us from being consumed in His love that gives us life and reason to change.


Thank you for then, for this, for now for all that will be.   


May we like Joseph learn to trust in you with all we have Jesus!  Finding peace and direction with you in all circumstances.  Even in the hard times, even when pulled into others darkness.  Even in the light.  May all we are trust always and first in you Lord?


----------THANK YOU JESUS----------


Oh Lord you are too good to me.   I really thought I messed up and with all the internalizing dealing with life these past couple years; layered up with this Pandemic and Life of those that I need to make some hard choices about.    Been feeling it Father; been really feeling it.


The pain, the battle of wanting so bad something real and well feeling like a fool for coming out of the desert.     Needing and being  open about that; but not what is temporal.   Knowing everything there is was real.    Just not here, not yet.


 


Waking often, for the longest time looking, hoping and just loving me forward; growing in you forward.


Reality bites.  As I was walking in the doctor’s visit knowing lately, I have just not been myself.  But more so because of those around me just keep coming and going with out even a care in the world around them.


 


Or was it because maybe something deep inside of me fears I may just want a reason to come to you Jesus.  As I really have nothing here.  I am honest about emotions for sure.  Which is so why I do not want to feel the way I do when I expose myself for nothing.


My own worse enemy allowing things to creep up on me and the day I was walking into the visit for my test.    Just knowing the layers of everything going on; something had to be different and wrong.


But it was just Me Jesus.  You have never and will never forsake me.   I am not sure what I need to do; well sort of I do.


Let go; let God for real.    I cannot change what I have inside.  But I can control the crazy that leads me to those places.


No matter what you have got me Lord.   And again, this year 13 years later this heart will still never be the same.


Guide me and accept all that I am for all that you want me to be.  Thank you for loving and healing me in so many ways.


https://youtu.be/qTJak4jd5ts    “Give Me Healing” @Corey Smith


 




===========================

Date: 05/06/2020  Wednesday



Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)



https://youtu.be/3Pa0ODC2ZPg  “Never Forgotten” @Ryan Stevenson ft. TobyMac


https://youtu.be/Lu-Wgp2GzLQ   “See The Light”-Separate Altogether Acoustic” @TobyMac


 Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):


James 5:16 NIV


Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.



 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Lord, for such a light day yesterday, no drama, no stress and much laughter and blessings from family and friends.   And what a new birthday be without my friends sharing birthday meme wishes from my some of my favorite spiritual leaders.


I think the best part Lord, is the fact knowing I do know every soul on my Facebook page, even if I do not talk to everyone all the time.   To know that they are out there watching or following.  Knowing you have blessed me to share your words, share your vibes daily. 


Some my own, many straight from the good book, others from those that lead me and light my path.  


Thank you for allowing me to just keep planting seeds and directing my steps when I step into that sinking sand area!


No matter who or where we are; You Jesus have not forgotten us and we will see the light even if we choose not to follow it or you!


Lord, Thank you for all the beautiful souls I have ever come in connection with.  They have helped me get to me; more importantly finding you.


 


Thank you for never giving up on me!   Always allowing me lessons, and growth with freedom of choice in what direction I will take it out and reflect life.    Good, bad, or indifferent.   Without you I am nothing.     May I never lose the hope and love you allow.      Jesus I nothing without you; and for this we will rise together.   In darkness in light, in love if and when we walk with you.  https://youtu.be/lR1Hk0FVi_k    “Together” @for King and Country ft. Kirk Franklin and Tori Kelly


May all the torment or toil that creates the angst in this world be washed over in peace and harmony one by one Jesus.  With you, by you!     Friend, Family or Foe; I pray every soul that ever walks this earth come face to face with you in the here and now and are made to choose what direction they will take.  Long before that option is no longer.


No more ignorance, no more excuses.    More than just believing what they hear; but diving in chasing you to absorb and reflect the peace that only you allow.


 


As the darkness can be bitter and the light so revealing.  May we never sugar coat anything, never looking the other way; but allowing the proof of your love reflect across all platforms as it does not matter what we have or what we do without forgiveness and love in you, with you as you Jesus!   https://youtu.be/b-2dKOfbC9c  “Proof Of Your Love” @for King and Country


Thank you, Father God, for all those souls you have blessed to lead the way in worship, in harmony or alone.  In truth is all that matters.     Broken and beautiful for all you want us to be.


You know every single thing that is going on in this world.   Please guide us; lead us in your will and healing.   Wash away this virus and all the darkness that is consuming.   I ask rest for the weary of all those on the front lines and all those that are just feeling this time of change.


I pray Jesus that we never go back to complacency, turning our heads and walking as if we do not see our brothers and sisters in need, in life.    Just because many have come to what we call the top of our game, while others are fighting, stealing, lying, working whatever they are doing to get there.    May we all understand where and who we are in you alone.     Changing what we once forgot or just ignored to all that you want us to be.   


I have been blessed in and with you Father God.  Despite all the attempts and lack of understanding; fears or tears.   I am blessed.    Love and desire with the ability and resolve of self-control and strong will.   Not always for you, but you never gave up on me; and that one day I heard you.     Please no matter what, let the earth hear you Jesus!


For all that is good, all that is true all that is light.


Thank you for the blessings of laughter and tears.  Thank you for the love I could not put my arms around; yet feel so deeply.


Please send your angels of mercy, grace, accountability to guide all I am connected.     


Though I may not feed the desires of my heart in the flesh, I shall always know the truth and hold true to your promise for all I am to you. Thank you for all my yesterdays.  Please be with all I am for any tomorrows!


May all my security and help always go through your hands Jesus.  No matter what the circumstance.   Not to be blind, not to be foolish.  But fully aware of who then, now and always will always have me.  


 


 Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 


Isaiah 26:3 (NIV) You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast,
    because they trust in you.



Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV) You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.



 2 Corinthians 4:18 (NIV) 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.




====God who opens this heart, this view, this soul=====AlwaysMeKelly 5/6/2020 PM========

Falling in love in the dark hiding behind the God who opens this heart, this view, this soul.

Who are the least of these and who is the real you? Why all the labels as we point fingers long before we leave the womb?



Alone in a vast world of so much roll with it, duck, and groove.  Never get to close to the evil eyes as they will be more than glad to choke you out just to see you near death in gloom.



God opened this heart allowing a view from the soul.    Somehow the timing; all I can say is WOW.

Seeing Him in Everything, then and even still now.   Holding on to pieces while chased by the demons of just like everyone else out and about when deferring disrespectfully to that big fat cow.



Tattooed forever before the ink even came.   Something about the spiritual light that shines on reality; it cannot be like all the rest just playing games to build the fame.   Using to the left, using to the right.   Oh sweet child of God keep your distance and stay way out of sight.

All good intentions never one moment of crossing that line.   Oh Lord I know what it is like to have others take and use up turning what you gave me to be mine.



Something unique, outlandish.  Something soared through these veins.  That someone pretending to care while I fought the demons of reality and in the end nearly drove me insane.

Just wanted the real you, no expectations, no song about the joys or being blue.



Oh, how I truly do Thank You.      Every journey, every soul that I have connected with in this life.   From the really great ones to even those that robbed a small child from knowing what security truly meant or finding forever in pure equality as someone’s bride.

How truly I would burn for that right you;   God opened these eyes through this soul.  Long back there are just some unexplainable no matter what happens; that I can never let go. 



Those let downs, broken pieces, starting over so close so far.    Even that one true sweet soul; imagination is like reaching for the moon and falling on the star.

I just want the real you my soul cries out.   While all the while Jesus reminds me it is time to dig deep inside for this is not about them It is finding who you are in Christ I am telling you.

Visions far off track not understanding; awakenings in the night.    All true, the bus, the sun, those I become connected, those in my dreams on the run.     The virus, oh ever so clear.

 I ask why me Lord; I am nothing special; but you do hold me dear.     Because my faithfulness, my commitment, my respect, and loyalty that is rare!



Journey through this vessel, through this mind, through all space and time.  Who is this stranger once an angry soul just wanting to go?     Oh, Father God you have softened me, crushed me with every single blow.   



 I do not have to really know; for he has allowed me to see through.  I am love eternal in the purist form here for you.     I cry in sadness that I feel too much.   Awakened by what was and what I will never give up.

Sing to me; feed my soul.   Just to hold me in your words is all I will ever be able to know.   For your leading, your light I will forever take a bow.   No matter what right or wrong.    Jesus has the final say as He with the Father are alone on the throne.

My tears for this world, have dried;  Perhaps that is why God opened these eyes.   Unfortunately, I cry rarely for the darkness or impacts any longer.

But badly when truth and purity win the game over all the lies.  Almost like I am just waiting for my time.

Blessed beyond all deserving, with the dreams, the truths.  With the excitement in those walking in obedience and those that break my heart living in self torment and demons lies.

If there is anything so true, I want for the real you.   All that is beautiful, all that is peaceful, all that is true.  All that is love deep within the depths of this soul from me to you.  The game is over, check mate.  with love nobody loses.

These thoughts taking me back in time. Passion, fulfillment all for that temporal fix as we cannot see we are running out of time.

Falling in love in the dark hiding behind the God who opens this heart, this view, this soul.

Forever respecting who we are.    Never doubt what, when or why somethings did not work out.

We are all on loan to lead the journey.    Far worth more than words, a song a harmony playing out.  No gold or diamonds will be enough clout.   Knowing this truth, you will forever know exactly what to believe, and who.

Forever through eternity,  some may find this something to laugh about.   Do what you must, do what you will.  I only pray you find through God in you, His perfect will.    Stop listening to the world and all you are devoted to.     Listen to Jesus.  Dig deep find the truth.  Hold tight it is something only you can do.   Those who never knew life, knew love need your purity like me in Jesus, with Jesus I need the real you.    Not what you say, not what you do.   Let what is real flow freely through all you are, as the angel’s trumpets will light the darkness; where love has grown and the view beyond amazement will reflect in this soul.  Forever no reason number one.   Mercy and Grace bestowed to you.  Forever peace, hope and even more love.





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==========================================


Date: 05/05/2020 Tuesday  (Happy Cinco De Mayo, and Taco Tuesday 😊)



Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)



https://youtu.be/0TrKXehB0pg  “New Day” @Danny Gokey


https://youtu.be/4K7kplxNM48   “King Of The World” @Natalie Grant


https://youtu.be/lKw6uqtGFfo   “Who You Say I Am” @Hillsong Worship




 Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):


Philippians 4:6-7 NIV


Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.



 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you, Father, for this new day and blessed another year of opportunities.  What a great way to wake and be reminded with the book of Psalms how blessed I really have been.  


Allowed to start the day with love and laughter from all my family and friends sending me love and reflecting what I mean to those I am close with.      Far blessed beyond any deserving.


 


Thank you for this new day!   May all that I am and all that I am connected know all you are Jesus and what our worth is now and from the moment you breathed us into existence.


I pray every soul I ever come in connection with Lord be it family, friends, or foe.  They come to know and love you as I have been blessed to do so.   Thank you for allowing me this new day, and another physical year to come to be.


I am not what I have or have not done; I am not what I think the world wants to see; I am not what the world says I should be.


I have been chosen and  known before the moment of being in my mother’s womb.  I am a child of God, princess of the King of the World.   Loved and worth more than anything this journey will ever try and convince me of being.


Thank you, Jesus, for all the growing pains of life here and now.   Be with all I am allowed to love; all I have been blessed with.  Good, bad, indifferent.   Those that burn deep within for all that is good and those that I burn for healing to come to be.


Thank you for this day no matter what of opportunity and life.


Though I often forget my worth in you Jesus and react to what the world says or thinks.  I know who I am in you.    There is no brokenness, death, pain, or sorrow that will not be overcome by the blessings and life you have promised.  


 Prince of Peace that fills this soul allowing me lessons beyond any understanding.  Allowing peace in the panic of what I cannot control.


 Guidance through the darkness as I await your coming.   Show me the path that lights the road less traveled; give me the purpose that only you fan fill.  Where mercy and grace vanquish all that evil tries to destroy; shine brighter than ever before or will be Jesus!


I Jesus surrender over and over again to you!   Thank you for loving me!  Thank you for showing me the difference between religion and relationship with your son God!   Lord have your way now and any remaining days I am allowed.


https://youtu.be/s7jXASBWwwI    “I Surrender” @Hillsong Worship


 Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 


Psalms 85:1-6 (NIV) For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. A psalm.


You, Lord, showed favor to your land; you restored the fortunes of Jacob.
You forgave the iniquity of your people
and covered all their sins.[b]
You set aside all your wrath
and turned from your fierce anger.

Restore us again, God our Savior, and put away your displeasure toward us.
Will you be angry with us forever?
  Will you prolong your anger through all generations?
Will you not revive us again,
that your people may rejoice in you?

 


Psalm 4:3 (NIV) Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
    the Lord hears when I call to him.



Psalms 95:2 (NIV) Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.



1 John 1:5 (NIV) Light and Darkness, Sin and Forgiveness


This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.





==========================================






Date: 05/04/2020 Saturday



Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)



https://youtu.be/NaGLVS5b_ZY “A New Day Has Come” @Céline Dion


https://youtu.be/5njh9Dkcvwc  “Ultralight Beam” @Kanya West ft. Chance The Rapper


https://youtu.be/Gb8JZ5wQGKI   “Ball of Confusion” @The Temptations


https://youtu.be/eSzD0opaCwE “Children of God” @Phil Whickham


 


 


 




 Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):


2 Chronicles 7:14  (NIV)


if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.





 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Lord as this mind spins and I wonder what is going on with those I love; I must give it all to you.  I laid all I am down to you many years ago.  Knowing firsthand no one can force or make anyone choose to feel, listen, or believe in anything including themselves.  That is no one but you! 

I start this mind maze release with lifting up all I am, all they are to you.     Break every chain Lord, every addiction, self-infliction, foolish whim or life-threatening illness mind, body and spirit for all I am connected.

How many times Jesus have I seen your work firsthand bless this world for me, to me, in and all around me; this is not a question but a recollection of how blessed I truly am and have been.  Despite any inadequacies or valleys, I myself have been trapped in.

Going back in time yesterday Lord to the Chinsegut Hill Manor House and now a museum.  This old beautiful plantation home built on a huge spot of land in 1835 still standing with much of the original owner’s belongings within.

We could not go inside but were able to make memories for the friends and family as these beautiful ladies of the future made good use of the prom dresses, they never will wear to prom this year.      Even for the brief moment in time reminded how beauty and love is unending from the inside out.  While families came together, and humanity sets down its differences to adore what you alone allow throughout time.

How can I say or see to explain what I do not know myself?   Connected through the supernatural highway of your truth Jesus.  Firing off all wires.  It stays silent but never goes away.  Love is the blood that you poured out on that cross.  The blood, pain, and turmoil that only you can describe.    Nothing myself or anyone else in this temporal world will come close to understanding or bare.

Love is more than a promise to be broken!  More than a physical encounter and release that may or may not have lasting circumstances to forever haunt our walk on this earth.

Love is the pounding heart that for just one moment time; if I could only lay my head on the chest that beats life and assurance.   Love from the depths of your soul flowing through the veins within.    So why does not everyone feel it, see it, release it, if we all bleed red?

So, in love with you Jesus; so, in love with your words, your truth, your light, your beauty.   The sweetest soul that ever will be that allows a glimpse throughout space and time of a Forever Sweet Soul King.     What was, what is, what never will be.  Jesus opened the eyes of this heart; it does not matter if others do not understand or will ever see me. 



What is it that we are truly reflective in hope, and not just that to say love harder?   What does that mean, is it like work smarter not harder.   Is it chasing all the everyday commitments, contracts, responsibilities any given day allowed up? 



What is it that we are truly reflective in hope, and not just that to say love harder?   What does that mean, is it like work smarter not harder.   Is it chasing all the everyday commitments, contracts, responsibilities any given day allowed up? 

 No, it is to seek Jesus and meeting the Father!

No matter how bad it hurts, or you crave.  What is it truly you see Jesus do, what is He saying?

What is it you are holding back, what is this world telling you as Jesus knows what you are waiting to say!

As he cursed Satan to be gone; crushed and released to burn; Satan be gone!   So, shall we as the silent screams are deafening. 

It is not what you do not say, as you pretend to be.  But what exactly will you do in the day-to-day that reflects God’s everlasting light?    Not that which we try to live up to in this world that is never enough or throwing constant fits.


What exactly will you do in the day to day that reflects the everlasting light?

Jesus did not go to the cross with spikes pounded in his physical being and flesh; so we could be in pain or torment over others choices that will never make sense at any given time.


He took the nails so we would live so, as these birds sing in the early dawns’ night.  Meeting you in the morning stillness while the earth is fresh with dew.     Jesus the love eternal when we accept that first kiss from you. 

In the darkest hour journeying through this life.     This Lord you flood me with as we are, we can be if we accept are the bride of Christ.


Riddle me this or riddle me that. Father God the world is in your hands forever no matter how we break down, scream, kick, or demand.

Thank you, Jesus, for this new day.   As mercies are fresh; may I love others no matter what as I love you?     May forgiveness rise up through all the pains and sorrows; heal us all Lord God.   Make us all new.


Our friends, relatives, or strangers too.   Heal all the brokenness through and with you.     Love is not what we say, it is what we do.   Even if we will never come close God to the truth in love that is You.

No matter the desires, the souls connected in the night.  No matter what we did wrong, no matter what we did right.     It is you with new mercies Jesus we must call upon giving thanks each new dawn or late night.  


So, thank you for this journey you allowed me as I am hiding with you in plain sight.

Thank you, Lord, for the confusion that keeps me awake at night.   There is nothing in this world, you the one who placed all the stars  in the sky that cannot be without you first knowing what is to come.   We are the children of God; lost, broken sometimes really dirty.  Sometimes shining bright to fall several flights.    We are yours God; even we lose our hearing our minds and our sight!   We belong to you through all the confusion; it is you that knows exactly what to do.

 Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 


Ephesians 6:10-13 (NIV) The Armor of God


10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.



Psalm 29:2 (NIV) Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; worship the Lord in the splendor of his[a] holiness



1 Peter 1:8 (NIV) Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,



Joshua 3:5 (NIV) Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.”



==========================================







Date: 05/03/2020 Sunday



 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

No white flags, no meditation  just a beautiful day blessed to experience going back in history while making memories with friends and family.



Though my mediation and devotion with the one who really matters is not logged or thoughts shared.      I have been blessed another day despite all the imperfections, flaws, mistakes; I myself or anyone I am surrounded suffer or will make.



https://youtu.be/43OHTXHmBaM “Jesus In Disguise” @Brandon Heath


https://youtu.be/lydBPm2KRaU  “Jesus Take the Wheel” @Carrie Underwood


https://youtu.be/kbB0QrBIs9k  “Jesus Freak” @DC Talk


https://youtu.be/5zE4bNa-b88 “Fierce” @Jesus Culture


Friday, May 1, 2020

05.Wk1_2020_May(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)


Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)


 ===May Verse of the month for the Mandisa Word Warriors found  @Mandisa Word Warriors (http://bit.ly/wordwarriors2020.=====


Ephesians 1:5-6 (TBT)  5–6 For it was always in his perfect plan[a] to adopt[b] us as his delightful children, through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that his tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify his grace[c]—for the same love he has for his Beloved One, Jesus, he has for us. And this unfolding plan brings him great pleasure!


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Date: 05/02/2020 Saturday



Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)



https://youtu.be/LuvfMDhTyMA   “Lord, I Need You” @Matt Maher


https://youtu.be/43OHTXHmBaM “Feel Again” @Dj Maj feat Beckah Shae


 


Weekend Services @NLCC-SpringHill “Suffering” @Dennis Deright

https://www.facebook.com/newlifeccspringhill/videos/2636764163260083/




 Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):


Romans 12:12 (NIV)


Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.







 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Lord, thankful I have been given another new day.  I know I need you now more than ever.  I need you as the air in my lungs or the up-lifting moments such as the family dance parties our family in Christ have been allowed to make happen.  To be able to care and fly high as your beautiful creatures that sing in the early morning.



If I Lord could be as the birds singing without anything to worry about.    I need you more everyday Lord.



For all the torment and toil, we feel for those we just want to know love and be love.  For all those we want positive, productive growth for all the days to come.   When we find ourselves battling with what they do not even see.



Jesus, I need you; we need you; my family and friends need you.  For all I am or am connected.  Jesus we are not worthy.  But you love us anyway. 



The vail was torn not in vain, but to bring the dead back to life Jesus.  Matthew 27:51-52 (NIV) 51 At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split 52 and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life.       Show me how to stop getting caught up in the middle.  Caring too much but not just turning away from caring at all.



I am fully aware I cannot force anyone to do anything; be it right, wrong or even try unknowing what it may be.    It does not stop me caring for those especially lose to this heart.



Watching people, you love fight in all they can turn over to god and find peace; yet they choose to hold onto whatever they want.  Whatever they think they have control over.   Even when they make messes of their own  path or that of others.



God thank you for this heart and the path you allow me to see and stay on.  Thank you for all the broken pieces and people and even the moments of my own weakness.     Show me the way Father through it all.



May I and all I am connected find our best life no matter what the suffering.



Though we cannot have a dance party every day as life is not  box of chocolate or full of roses.    We must learn to listen and watch for you Jesus to lead us around and through the paths of thorns.



Show me where to next Jesus with you, for you.   May every day all I am is allowed to get back up.  Seek you first and always.  



May the memories we make prove your love, mercy and grace through all we do; and that Father God is a huge ask.    As we know some just cannot get past themselves.



Guard all I am through your will.        Thank you for new this new day of opportunity.



 Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 




Matthew 6:24 (NIV) 24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.



Revelation 2:4 (NIV) Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.



Ephesians 3:16-17 (NIV) 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,


Psalms 16:11 (NIV) 11 You make known to me the path of life;  you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

 


==========================================


Date: 05/02/2020 Saturday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

https://youtu.be/FM7MFYoylVs  “Something Just Like This” @The Chainsmokers & Coldplay


https://youtu.be/80Ue0w45oGs  “Jesus Loves Me” @Chris Tomlin


Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):


1 John 5:14-15 (AMP)


This is the [remarkable degree of] confidence which we [as believers are entitled to] have before Him: that if we ask anything according to His will, [that is, consistent with His plan and purpose] He hears us. And if we know [for a fact, as indeed we do] that He hears and listens to us in whatever we ask, we [also] know [with settled and absolute knowledge] that we have [granted to us] the requests which we have asked from Him.


Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 


Proverbs 29:25 (NIV) 25 Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.

John 10:10 (NKJV) 10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.




 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

Thank you for this new dawn Father God; all before 8 am I am able to talk with my son, my daughter-in-law, daughter, grand and the laughter and noise of this puppy that is now terrorizing this household.

Wondering the dark thoughts of me’ism are they?   What and how can I secure the rest of this property and give it to the littles and find a way to find my fortress, that secure retreat untouched and disrupted.      https://youtu.be/qYS0EeaAUMw   “Hello Darkness My Old Friend” @Song Lyrics


Something just like this where we chase our dreams, trying to pick them up as they are flying all over when that cyclone of life comes consuming and blowing in the wind.    

Something just like this the love we chase in our youth to feel love just wanting that forever to just be held only to find the darkness is self- serving.   

Not seeking fairy tales, just someone to stand true and while working through the war zones of this life to know we got whatever comes together.

It cannot be that all there is left from the kindness and well-meaning to protect and give some a future that we much watch the darkness consume that which gave your life meaning.

I can ask Jesus how it can be; how could you possibly have good meaning in watching this script play out in front of me.   As I know you have greater power that no one else will every understand.

But everything I am you gave me.   What is it I ask; I pray that I just cannot see?

It is time; 36 years it is time for me to release and allow the wings to be.  As I sit here readying this day, I need to know just how it can be?  .      https://youtu.be/1Ben2wwGyOk    “How Can It Be” @Lauren Daigle


Our blessings are right in front of us; Lord as I found you; all that my children can be are waiting for you.  Even if they do not see it yet.     They were yours at the time you allowed them to me and are yours even today, even if they have walked away from your grip.

Be with us all Jesus as we are all prodigals! None of us are perfect and not of us here and now will ever be.       We cannot talk out of both sides of our mouths. 

  Lord when they speak and say just how blessed and thankful, they are one moment; yet defy, disrespect and just do whatever they feel like it in the next.   I give it all you Father God to vanquish all the demons and darkness that is trying to grip them.


You Lord have always been with me no matter how alone I have felt.  In the nightmares, in the woods, in the wreckage, brokenness beyond all healing.   


In the let downs to the top of some of the most beautiful moments that only you have filled this soul with the indescribable peace.


I am not alone nor have any of us ever been. Though it is easy to get lost in the presence of the world.  Jesus, I pray strength and guidance for your will in all I am, all I love and all I breathe in each day you allow me up again.  https://youtu.be/uZ55mDL7dA0   “The Blessing” @Elevation Worship ft. Kari Jobe


 


Lord your favor be upon us for thousands of generations.   It is you that goes before us and you that pick us up when we fall behind.   All that I am as a parent, sister, aunt, grandmother, person bow before you alone.   All I have been given I pray your will.    Blessings abundantly for you are all that was and ever will be.


May we plant the seeds of speaking life, seeing life and being life everyone second of every circumstance we are ever given.  


May we find those times where we get away to find ourselves and all the peace only you give more than not.


May we find forgiveness in the unspoken or in the thunder of all that battles around and through us.  All around us, all within me!    


Remind us you are here Lord!  https://youtu.be/z_lHeeXZYuI  “Remind Me You’re Here” @Jason Gray


 


Father I cannot change, force or try to make anyone do a thing.  But I pray for your wisdom, guidance and protection upon all the littles that are in my care.  I pray for clarity and the removal of all that is harming, and robbing positive grown in this household or anywhere I am connected.


May your will alone that allows us up each day fill this place and all that I am allowed to be.


Lord Rain down on us, stopping this madness by opening doors for those that choose not to be in your will to be out on their own making it with the choices they make.  


 I pray the strength given me all these years fill this place with all that is good and holding tight to that moral compass not allowing anything less than you Jesus.  No excuse matters.    I can’t go back, and I do not want to hurt anyone.  However, I cannot close my eyes and look the other way when I belong to you.


Lord you are the way maker!  Come!  As there are no words or deeds any one of us in humanity can do or give that matter when they are not with great intent of all you are.   Wishing no harm to anyone Jesus;  Just remove all that is unworthy; remove the bad fruit the lies and facades!      For I am a child of God and all that I am connected shall bare only what is blessed by the Prince of Peace. 


If that means in suffering; show me the way of what is to be done.  You know who I am; who I belong to; who I await.   Nothing will ever change that.   My hope is in you Jesus.  No matter who understands.   Nothing else will do.


No matter what happens I will always lift you up Father for all you have done and been in this life even before I understood.    https://youtu.be/WPUMANpXiPo  “Lift You Up” @TobyMac ft. Ryan Stevenson


Jesus the time is now as this life is not a test https://youtu.be/Dy1vjNWnDlM  “This Is Not A Test” @TobyMac ft. Capital Kings


Lord I need you now, more than ever for my sanity, for any days left, for whatever you want for those I am connected.  I need you now!  https://youtu.be/9tivseVZbnY “Need You Now” @Plumb


 


==========================================

Date: 05/01/2020 Friday

Soul Vibes and Starters (YouTube.Com)

https://youtu.be/CzEEIdGU2To  “Never Lost” @Elevation Worship ft. Tauren Wells



Meditation Opportunities (Biblegateway.com):
(NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TBT-The Passion Translation) 



Verse of the Day (Biblegateway.com):
Hebrews 11:6 NIV

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Ephesians 1:5 (TPT)

5–6 For it was always in his perfect plan[a] to adopt[b] us as his delightful children, through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that his tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify his grace[c]—for the same love he has for his Beloved One, Jesus, he has for us. And this unfolding plan brings him great pleasure!
Psalm 29:2 (AMP)

Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name; Worship the Lord in the beauty and majesty of His holiness [as the creator and source of holiness].

Luke 12:25-26 (AMP)


25 And which of you by worrying can add one hour to his life’s span? 26 So if you are not even able to do a very little thing [such as that], why are you worried about the rest?

Luke 1:79-80 (AMP)


79 To shine upon those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
To guide our feet [in a straight line] into the way of peace and serenity.”

80 The child continued to grow and to become strong in spirit, and he lived in the deserts until the day of his public appearance to Israel [as John the Baptist, the forerunner of the Messiah]



 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (my perspectives and/or feelings):

As I sat watching what I thought would be a good drama and feel good flick before bed last night.  Digesting the events of the day and how I have opened that door these past couple years and allowed the world to slowly creep in and steal my joy.



I was reminded as I toil with the pain and anger of what it feels like to just want your children to succeed and have lasting joy themselves.   Allowing the me’ism to weigh on me  for all that I cannot control.

Yes, I meant what I said if I could do anything to knock sense and choices in those that do not see their actions are disrespectful and leading by very poor examples when it comes to the fact someone is always watching.  Especially children!

Do I seek perfectionism?  Hell No!    I expect people who are connected to me especially those that I raised up to make sound choices and not think of only themselves and work towards and through all the hurdles never giving up or giving in. 

I expect them to put their family first and grow into the life they find worthy to hold onto and make flourish.

It is not my job to clean up anyone’s mess; and it is certainly unacceptable for anyone to not put all they have into life with the highest respect for themselves.   Instead some constantly cling to this belief they cannot do this life on their own; and just settle.

And yeah if that is a choice live with it, but in your own space, on time and own accountability.

No unmarried child should ever bring someone home to their parents’ home and let them stay.  No parent of their children should ever expose their children to believe it is okay to not have responsibility 24/7 or just do whatever you feel like it at any given moment or time.



Now I am far from being a perfect parent.  There is no such thing and yes if I offend anyone by saying that I have no apologies on that one.     

However, despite my faults and mistakes I never left my children for others to make sure they were okay.      Wrong choices and painful results over my years of growing. Absolutely. 

But did my children always have a home that I worked hard to give them and a roof over their head.   Along with food on the table and boundaries and even more love the best way I knew how to give it.    Without a doubt.

We all get to choose what we are going to do; and yes am I partial and growing weary of the one’s that constantly just go and jump into the fire and always demand respect from everyone around them yet give very little to others unless they are gaining something in the moment.

I cannot change anyone and make them respect themselves, I cannot control what they choose to do even if they are on my property and choose to defy me.   But pray the children are not harmed and damaged or setup to fail or suffer in this vast world that will consume them.

I can when the time is right fully put all my trust in God when I take away the comforts that make it so easy for others to stand on their own.

This pandemic that has me following the shelter in place order for the past 45 days has revealed allot.   Not only for myself but the many around the world.

Bringing out the true colors of who people really are despite their blessings or misfortunes.

When it will end; no one really knows.  Well humanity really does not have a grip on it; except those powers that be that started the whole mess in the first place.



But one sure thing is that God Does!   But we do not always no matter how much you love Jesus always just give it over to him.  Do we?      Me; I thought I had it all together knowing I was feeling the weightiness of the world and my choices.   And the growing intolerance I have for the need to get up and work anywhere 9-12-hour days taking every dime I am blessed with and investing back into a place to live that others really have no respect for.

Or even worse yet, stepping out of my zone and giving away any savings I could possibly have to those who need you for the moment; but if you are on the street broken and in need they would walk right past you.    And not because they cannot acknowledge you or have nothing.  But because their narcissistic choices only serve themselves for the moments someone is giving them that free ride to ride on the coattails of others and not do for themselves.

Does that include those I love; have I been a fool over time.  A big fat yes!

Did the weight of all this world spinning around me wake me up?  Yes!

Doing my thirteen year check up to see how the patch in my heart is doing and if any changes are occurring.   Not only did I come face to face with what I already knew.       You see a couple years ago I was getting it together and really working on  me and my health. 

And I got derailed helping to much where I did not belong, but even more so with no expectation of material paybacks.   But that just to mean to something in this world other than go to Kelly because if she can do it for you, she will find someone who can.     Not looking for self-pity; just giving that ten-thousand-foot view.    It was not the stepping up and putting myself at risk and helping the unknown.   It was the fact I let myself down that the entire time I knew there was no truth and once those in need got what they needed, or I just shut it down.    Well there would never be anything more the delusion that even for a moment in time I was really doing something that mattered.

My own selfish ambitions were just to have the hope, for once it did and see something more than another good deed.   And yes, it did matter in the view of the world.    But the unfortunate part not enough to make a difference.   It was all just business.    With the games people play.

My view of those I really admired torn, with the inability to even listen to half of what comes out.   All the while fighting my inner demons that it is not them it is me.    Convicted and clinging to life knowing God has got this, while backsliding and falling apart.

Thriving when able to worship and serve God’s house.   Where even that at times started getting weighty.     Fighting the demons that were trying to consume me that Jesus himself saved me from.  

Depression, self-doubt, continuing to want to see with Gods eyes and feeling with the heart of Jesus.  Letting my own personal being start to faulter as I slowly am allowing who I am in Christ to be pushed into the darkness.   My every day to day twisting and turning and though doing the best I have on most days; those that I find myself shutting down are more and more.

The anxiety that I work past so well being internalized and me not liking who I am in the reflection anymore.

Being reminded yesterday how all that work and effort and getting healthy and why showing it’s not too late to get it back.   Yes, I am not who I was, but God got me up another day; giving me air in these lungs and hope that has not faded completely.

Yet, why if I believe God has this; why was going into that building yesterday so stressful.  Why was the fact of all these layers allowing me as I lay down last night to panic with my racing heart?

Watching The Reliant I had no clue what I was watching; I just try to make sure it is not something that will allow the bad to spawn in this mind maze.    Well I did not even know the movie was based on having faith, losing faith and finding it again.

That we may not have control, and we may never see the positive change from God in the right here right now.   But it will come.    That just because someone losses their way to the world  or because of so many things that happened to them along the journey within it.   Does not mean that God does not have them as well.

I am not getting any younger, and yes not knowing how or when my time will come to be.  Do I just want that peace, that life companion, that simplicity doing my best in loyalty, morality in respect?      YES!    Do I want to see the attempts of my children growing forward in morality and purpose with positive ambitions and not just clinging to all that goes wrong on any given day or just do whatever they feel like it?  Yes!

Feeling the burn in these legs this morning as I have been for the first time in my life this past month started running, doing at the minimum of 2 miles a week if not 2-6.       Times are changing, I am changing.  And the burn for my God to consume me is even more brighter now than ever.

Will I not want to shake sense into those that I care about, please that will never change?  But I do not have the answers for them.   Will I come to terms and change will come Yes?   But I am getting to old to keep changing me or what God has blessed me with because others do not appreciate and respect themselves or anything given to them.

What that means I do not know.   What I do know is that God got me up another day and He is not finished with me yet!  Obliviously if you are reading any of this; He is not done with you yet either!

Life is worth so much more in and with Him, even if it is doing nothing.    Or being grounded another 45 days in a shelter in place order.   

What I can take away with this mind maze is the awakening, we never stop loving and caring for those that are deep within our souls.  That only God knows why!      But we must genuinely love ourselves finding our way back with Jesus leading the way every single second of every breath we are given.

What that looks like in the end?  Well in the here and now, to me that does not really matter.  It is remaining obedient and living life the best we can in Christ.   Putting on that Amor of God daily and filling up with as much love and mercy as we possibly can.  



 With deep prayers for all we care about and ready for what Jesus has to give while purposing to protect and fight the elements that this world and those in it keeps coming at you with.    Learn to bend without breaking finding out how to learn God’s yoga moves, while growing stronger in Him day by day!  

  Even in a dreamer’s mind, God is real, and far from being dead anytime soon, if ever!  As for me I do not know where I am going or how long it will take to get there.  But I know my God goes before me and that forever will be my saving grace from anything this world or the people in it could ever take from me. 

You see without love there is no life, without God there is no love and without Jesus you will never know who God really is or intended for you to be.  No matter who understands lives for and with Him or not.  For no matter what physical, emotional battles may occur.    It is in Christ alone that forever I will stand in truth, loved and worth more than any element good, bad or indifferent.






11 Put on the full armor of God [for His precepts are like the splendid armor of a heavily-armed soldier], so that you may be able to [successfully] stand up against all the schemes and the strategies and the deceits of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this [present] darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) places. 13 Therefore, put on the complete armor of God, so that you will be able to [successfully] resist and stand your ground in the evil day [of danger], and having done everything [that the crisis demands], to stand firm [in your place, fully prepared, immovable, victorious]. 14 So stand firm and hold your ground, having [a]tightened the wide band of truth (personal integrity, moral courage) around your waist and having put on the breastplate of righteousness (an upright heart), 15 and having [b]strapped on your feet the gospel of peace in preparation [to face the enemy with firm-footed stability and the readiness produced by the good news].





Thank you, Jesus, for this new day and all you allow me to see, hear, breathe in and tap back out.  Consume me; and all I am connected in your precious name and blood.  Amen








Sunday 5-11-2025_PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe (AlwaysMeKelly)

  ***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains and made available for public consumption from pu...