Music pulled
from https://www.youtube.com/ and
are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted
otherwise and are free for public
consumption**** (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King
James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)
Date: Friday, April 9,
2021
Soul Vibes / Motivation Movers (YouTube.Com)
Haven't Seen It Yet @Danny Gokey
Eye Of The Storm @Ryan Stevenson
Meditation
Opportunities
3 The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and
the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his
powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at
the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.
(@Jesus Calling 365 Devotions with Real-Life
Stories @Sarah Young)
“YOU ARE MINE ALL THE TIME; nothing can separate you from
My Love.”
Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor
life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any
powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be
able to separate us from our love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Exodus 33:14 The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with
you, and I will give you rest.”
John 12:46 NKJV “I have come as a light into the world, that
whoever believes in Me should not abide in darkness.”
Daily
Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (Thinking out loud)
Hardly
sleeping last night. The spin of wonder
of all the day’s events; good, and bad and all those leaving me hanging. Feeling that roller coaster of thankfulness
and sadness sometimes all at once.
That
which you know blessings you are waiting for just have not showed up yet. As you look around and cannot help the
overwhelming sadness that are nothing compared to others which you want the
best in those that tug at your heart strings and you see the drama or direction,
they are creating is theirs alone, even if you are tied to it. As you look off at other beautiful souls
who have been put in this cycle of fighting for life for so long and they just
want time to be with their children and husband all the while each day gets
shorter.
Thinking
about the layers you have taken on or just somehow joined in and piled on you
yourself.
Knowing
that one simple little thing such as having transportation blocking issues when
you are in a routine to care and be a ride for littles. It is nothing because if really necessary
walking a mile to safely deliver them where they need to be is no big deal.
Yet
the mind once that switch is flipped starts the spin. Starting with the immediate and wondering
how things will work out in the morning needing to get a flat tire fixed,
getting a kid to school, thinking about the news how Covid is hitting more
close to my day-to-day. Thinking of
those who do not know you Jesus.
Thinking of those who talk the good talk but run the other way thinking
they cannot be seen in the darkness.
Knowing it is not my place to be thinking, worrying, judging. Should I even be caring?
All
the while I wake up with the song Evidence playing in my head, knowing you have
all things deep in my heart.
Praying
the impact is minimal; thankful for those who were on deaths door are now
home. Praying for a young man; a son of
friends and to my long list of spiritual brothers and sisters needing prayer. In dire need of a miracle to make it.
The devil and many playing in his sandbox will
do anything to breakdown believers.
Joy
stealers and of course they will steal anything they can get away with even
pieces of me; pieces of you.
If
they cannot get directly to you; they always go through loved ones, children,
family, those we can never get enough of and dearest of friends.
Prayer
is a must for positive vibes in all things all days no matter who we are or
what we believe.
It
is not my place to even hold onto anything that happens with or to me. It is not my place to hold on to those who
no matter how much I care or want the best for them, with them. Or even that stuff that really turns out to
be nothing compared to the greater things that will be.
However,
I do let it in all the time, and I did. Trying
to figure out how to get my sidekick to school while I have a bad tire that
just showed up. How to get somewhere and
get it fixed while trying to work, then staying awake worried about my kid
driving three hours in the middle of the night to get back so they can at least
get their kid to school. Turned that key, pushed that button of spin
cycle. Where everything thing for all
those I care about or even don’t know, all those things big and small that I am
dealing with. Kept me awake…. Covid, people falling apart, people going
through possible loss of loved ones, those people being taken advantage of,
those in need and nothing can be done. And
even my simple task with all those other layers that have not quit coming since
2019. Here I am today exhausted, and
it is not changing a thing!
Waiting
for the daylight and auto services to open so I can figure out how to get this
ride of mine over to fix that tire that holds no air now. Yes, going to the market last night and picked
up something. Crazy how simple things
add up and rob us from rest in you Jesus.
Even
though we are believers, even though we pray hard, and devote or even mediate
and tapping in feeding the spirit for all that is good. Well!
We still allow our human side to
feel so much we spin.
All
those little triggers that at some point will be that once thing that opens pandora’s box of unnecessary worry we lose rest,
and the gates flood us with all that is going on in the world with, to or round
us. The fact that no one second staying
awake will change a thing. When you know
this and know you should be sleeping and let it go in God’s hands fully, but
you cannot.
All
of the craziness in the world which was before I came in it and will be long after
I leave. Will always be and not change
a thing.
In
this spin of weariness wondering not so much the what ifs but how did I get
here.
Why????
I
won’t know the answers until time reveals them. Knowing God and Time reveal all things into
the light. What is not used for a
message to be shared with others, will be a lesson for our own beings. What is not meant to encourage us to go right,
or left is used to build strength within.
Life
hurts, and it can make us weary fast. Wear
us down and beat the crap out of us all the while on-lookers or even those who
say they love and care. Sit on the side lines
and have a better method, reason, or way to get past, get through, get over.
Truth
is though only we and God have the power to control and make the change to our
own personal beings. And yes, like others
do to us; we have the power to influence others. Make it count. Make it worthy of life itself. If we are
leading by example, I sure hope we are trying to be our best selves for the
good of those others. Not just because
we can!
I
know I only get it right a portion of the time; but that does not stop me from
trying. That does not stop me from
believing until I cannot; or giving my best self until I run out of what I have
to give. When it comes to love; If I
let someone in, they will always be deep within this being’s soul. However sometimes you have to let go to find
purpose in the wind that has left you tattered.
I
believe in giving everyone a chance but if bridges are burned and truth is,
they really didn’t care if you gave your precious time that you will never get
back or not. Thank God for the lessons
and ask for direction of what is next.
Whatever
the case may be that kept me up last night and is heavy on this spirit. I know God is in control. Just like getting to that tire repair shop
in the wee hour’s redneck style where the old portable air compressor was in
the passenger seat as I probably violated the speed limit just trying to minimize
any other issues for the tire to blow out all the way.
It
had to be replaced and I am blessed to have had replaced tires one of the many
other times during my miles traveled and been left with a new tire for this so-called
rainy day.
The
sidekick made it to school, the mamma made it home safely and is really grumpy
from lack of sleep. The young man is
still fighting for his life and his Pastor and loving father and mamma are
still fighting the spirit trying to rob them of the blessings God gives.
People
all around me are still coming down with covid and life is still here and now.
All
I can do is Pray for any mercy and grace I do not deserve for me and all I am
connected.
He
gives and takes away and although he may not approve of those being consumed in
Satan’s sandbox. He does not necessarily
intervene to stop it. Especially for
those who do not want a relationship with his son Jesus Christ.
Thus,
leaving those that do feeling every bit of everything that comes their
way. Some handling it much better than
others. Some sleeping in the boat with
Jesus while others still up and unsure how to turn the storms off in the night.
All
I know is we all believe in something.
We all follow through on what really matters to us and sometimes its at
the cost of people, places, and things.
Even if we do not realize the price until it’s over.
Love
and hold true to what matters most to you now; don’t wait. Tomorrow is never promised and even it was we
do not know what it will be.
Jesus
please never let me lose you as my lighthouse in all the storms. As you are control of everything that is and
ever will be.
Thank
you for every second I am given!
