04.14.2021_April(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

 

Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)

Date: Wednesday, April 14, 2021 

“But courage doesn’t always roar.  Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” @LessonsLearnedInLife

 

Meditation Opportunities

1 Corinthians 15:1, 3-4(NIV)    

15 Now, brothers and sisters, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand.

 

 (@Jesus Calling 365 Devotions with Real-Life Stories @Sarah Young)

 “Heaven is both present and future.”

1 Corinthians 15:20-23  But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.  For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead also comes a man.  For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.  But each in his own turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then when he comes; those who belong to him.

 

Hebrews 6:19   We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.  It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.

Soul Vibes / Motivation Movers (YouTube.Com)

COURAGE @PINK

Leap Of Faith @Kathryn Scott

God I Look to You (Acoustic) @Jenn Johnson | Moment

Unfinished @Mandisa

 

 

 

 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (Thinking out loud)

Courage

What gives us courage when we all so think we have control of our lives.    As a parent we want our children to grow up and be filled with courage and hope of all that is good. Strength and courage to make changes to move forward and grow forward with some sort of lasting peace, health, harmony and never let that in the world that beats us down take them out.

Just hopes and prayers they take the leap of faith we never did.  Hopes they do not repeat mistakes we make as the parent or adult.    Yet when they do, and they won’t listen; and we know we should just let them get there in their own time.

Well sometimes we just get wore down by the mundane day to day.

 

We all have to believe in something and when that something brings beauty, peace, love in things that all you need to do is look; never having any expectations held over your head.   Never any eggshells breaking as you walk through day to day.   Knowing that deep gut feeling is something just isn’t right.   Thinking too much; sometimes.    But you know the players play hard to get what they want.   Those with no remorse will absolutely tell you to not hate the player but hate the game you never signed up for.

Believing in Christ Jesus and the fact that God gave his only son of many to come and go to the cross as a sacrifice for all the sins humanity will partake in.  Just so we can learn balance of good and evil and freely choose all that is good and pure or think we can know Jesus and hang on the fence playing in dark and light.

It does not work that way.   To truly believe in Jesus Christ and be our best selves.  We have to die to ourselves daily.  Knowing everything in the dark will always find its way to light.

 

Thinking of my early days reading the Bible and not having a clue what it meant, just how I would gravitate to the red letters and that was in many variations of printed versions of the book.  Were what Jesus said.

Was it those days thirty plus years ago as a single teen mother that got me?   Was it really hitting rock bottom on my own or at the hands of others?

What was it all for?

Why did it all have to be? 

What is the purpose or lessons learned?

What was it we are able to carry away from what did not kill us and made us stronger?

Leading the way straight to Jesus.   I don’t know because I am still learning some hard lessons even at this stage.

But one thing is for sure.   I so much rather to believe in a God of all things and so much beauty that feeds my soul peace.   Then chase humanity to be temporal.     Riding that wave and knowing to find someone that says let’s do this and fight all the way until we are taken home together.   Absolutely!   To have all my family, friends, connections overflowing with the fruits of the spirit.   Oh, man if only.   But some will get there and be rewarded in their own time, some are there and many never will come off the fence until they fall hard.

Not everyone is meant to do, to be, to stay, to go.  But we are all meant to love and be loved.

Even if it is not by someone, we physically have imagined in our romantic movie minds.

If we want perfect, the perfect love story.  Well, we better personally get to know the one who creates us.  Stop beating ourselves up or thinking our grown children, friends etc.  are the cause for the choices they make.

Even if it hurts~

In this lifetime the only one I can look too in truth, and pure intentions is that of Jesus and God the Father.

I have never been good at games.   And far from it being forced to be anyone’s pawn.    Too old to go chasing for me or trying to get points across for those I care.

If we are allowed back up another day; We are unfinished and there is so much more to do, to be, to grow forward for and in.     Though our looks fade, our talents, and gifts change.   Our never-ending story is with and through the Holy Spirit and all God created us to be.

Twelve hours working today has been a long day not moving and seeing what the world offers.

Life here and now was never promised to be easy, and it will never be free.

 

No matter what we do for good intentions, for love, for kindness, for selfish ambitions.   There will always be a price to pay as we fight our way back to land after the tsunami waves of whatever the result was.

 I can only pray that Jesus will bring heaven to earth!  Washing his chosen clean, healing the land and reflecting not a moment is wasted.

That one lost prodigal will find the way to the cross and know Jesus personally finding the peace that he gave up so we could have it.   

Unexplainable mystery in all the peace and known mercy and grace none deserve.   Yet, we all walk around thinking we do not do anything wrong.   Or do not care when we openly do.

For all the nightmares before of tour bus accidents, sun explosions, major disasters.    Life as we know it is no more; death is here and now.   Yet so beautiful is the hands of the potter who is held so close and tightly.     Moving and fixing our broken pieces.    The pains will never stop coming as long as we love for all taken, all lost.

But you God will never break your promises even when we lose our way.    We need you Jesus; I need you more now than ever.  In my day-to-day, in my nights with my eyes wide shut or when you call me home.    There is never a day I can be without Jesus.

In love, in mercy In you!  East to West, North to South.  Beside me, above me.  Deep within forever you no matter what else here and now is or not.

Thank you for healing who I was; Thank you for healing who I will be.   For I am chosen, I am lost in your love that burns greater than any eruption and deeper than the abyss of unknown.

Thank you, Father God, for calling my name and never stopping until I was able to answer.

Please in Jesus Name reach all my loved one’s!    But if you do not, may I always have the courage and strength to keep going until I find you at home in heaven.

 

No matter what is, what was, what could be.   You are and always will be beyond all space and time.    I will never know love as I have found and known with you Jesus.

Thank you!

Love Like This / No One Like You (Spontaneous) / Break Every Chain // The Belonging Co

04.13.2021_April(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

 

Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)

Date: Tuesday, April 13, 2021 

@CS Lewis [Inklings] “What I owe is incalculable.  Is there any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?”

 

Soul Vibes / Motivation Movers (YouTube.Com)

Where Is The Love @Black Eyed Peas

Scars @TobyMac

Scars @I Am They

Lead Me @Sanctus Real

Starts With Me @TobyMac

Keep Walkin @TobyMac

Forgiven @Crowder

Hello Future @TobyMac & The Diverse City Band Live 2019

 

 

Meditation Opportunities

Romans 3:23-24 (NIV)    

²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

 

 (@Jesus Calling 365 Devotions with Real-Life Stories @Sarah Young)

 “Moreover, you are richly blessed when you walk trustingly with Me through the routines of your day.”

Colossians 3:23  Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

John 15:5   “I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

John 15:5   “I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

Psalm  105:4   Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.

 

 

 

 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (Thinking out loud)

Oh, I did it again trying to finish this series I am watching.    Got my tired self of no sleep just how many of us get caught up.   Not doing anything wrong, not having any intentions but to just get through, be or do something that seems so harmless.   Reminding me of how guilt by association even if we are not doing anything can pretty much destroy us or leave us in the bounds of unknown.

Death come for us all so we should not fear the future.   However, like those vampire diaries and the theory, theme, or script; whatever way you refer to it.    If you are in the darkness eventually something or someone gets to you.  If you are in the wrong place at the wrong time something or someone changes you forever.    If you are allowed to survive you struggle with the darkness and light the remainder of the journey you have.    Choices, changes and those we make or those we need to.

 

Loving all the wrong people is not the question.  It is why do you love that someone.  What are you getting for it or from it?    Yes, I believe that souls can connect without ever even seeing someone.    However, what is it that drives you to do what you do?  What is it or why is it; that you tolerate or even participate in bad behaviors, disrespect of others, or more importantly yourself?

 

Is it the rush like a party with all your favorite people or that status you will get when all those selfies are going across the network because you are with or near someone with a certain celebrity status?   What does that mean anyway?      As we look around and watch and read how many that have that worldly status are suddenly dying all around us without even notice. 

Those with great talents on the screen, on a stage or even the unspoken loved ones until suddenly all that is left is to talk about what was because for whatever the reason they are no more.

Where is all this coming from.  Who knows when you run on little to know sleep because of binge watching as an excuse because the choices you make have made you realize no matter how much your raised up your loved ones to do your best, to always know guilt by association is probably the number one destructive thing in humanity?     Because we open up, we care, we want we surround ourselves with those that do even if we do not do with intentions of personal gain; we subconsciously get something just by being.    

The hold of an abuser on its victim is unspoken.   Those who stay with someone who uses, abuses and even in some cases bring them near to death over and over.    While the victim can get away, they do not want to risk being alone.  So even if they do get away from one they tend to repeat history with just a different shape, or size maybe even color yet the same personality and/or tendencies those before them had.

 

Yes, that I should know I spent my entire youth searching for someone to love me for me forever and always be with me.   Yet because of my strong will and independence that I never asked for.  I would fight back and move on not taking anything once I realized It was not healthy and nothing would change.   Perhaps one of the reasons when I finally fell in love with Jesus who is the everything and unchanging. 

I just wish every soul could really meet him before going through the brokenness that comes in life.  I never picked where I am today.   In fact, as a young girl had that Ozzy and Harriett white picket kind of fence life in my head.    Not perfect not even black and white; just that which is only in the movies or like I once told my mother when she asked when I would settle down.  Love and relationships are like the lotto; you have to play to win and sometimes no matter how many times you play if its Gods will you have that winning relationship where that other person will stick with you and for you no matter what and never purpose to hurt you or look to others as they promised themselves to and for you.       Blessed to know that there are still some out there that fight forward together.   I have been able to witness those who may not even talk, may tolerate each other’s emotional and verbal sometimes physical abuse.   Then there are others that do others to hold on to each other and lift each other up.      Love, relationships like those scratch off lotto tickets.   Sometimes there something worthwhile that pays out over time and others its just another game that someone will have to lose. 

I didn’t stop playing, my game choice may have changed a bit as I learned that one of Gods true blessing was learning to love myself and knowing you do not have to give yourself away to be who you were meant to be. And the fact remains we are never alone so choice of who you want in your life matters.

What you allow to take place with, for, around you is lasting even if you are not being that hateful hurtful one in any relationship.  And if you have children; trust me when I say they are learning to be what you allow in front of them.     In words, in actions; all of what you say or do not say.

So where does that leave Gods future plans?   What about the children and is there really a future?     Those raised up in luxury because of careers that took over the parents who provided everything but time and themselves.    Oh, don’t get me wrong.   You can have it all or nothing at all.  You can come from a deeply loving family or have no one and still turn out good throw your life away.

 

Choices matter: I have known some very well known and well to do families and someone in the family as the black sheep because they choose the life of drugs, and the streets or everything opposite than that of making productive positive contributions in and for their own life much less society.    Then I have known those that came from nothing and truly fought their way through to make a difference because I am one.   Yes, I had a family; yes, my mother and father were married when I was conceived, and I have a brother and sister; and on the fathers side 8 Aunts and Uncles; on the mothers side something like 12.      Cousins.  Oh, there is abundance.  

Some cultures get it right; in America we have lost the family unit.   We do everything out of selfish ambitions and when we do not like something or are done.  We turn off and pretend family doesn’t exist.   Filling it up with addictions to work, and many other things!

Some cultures turn to family to help build up and raise a family; others want no part.

That old statement it takes a village to raise a child.     I guess that is what we do when we put our trust in those who are supposed to be for us.

Sometimes those we trust closest to us are the ones that will do the most damage.

 

So how do we know to make the right choice in those we let in?    I wish I knew!  

The only one for sure thing I do know is everything I have learned over the years about Jesus Christ is that He is always been and will always be unchanging. 

  He gave all He was for us before we ever came into this world and is always there no matter how much I or anyone else makes the wrong choices, hurts us on purpose or accident.   Yes, the hurt can come from what they do, or don’t do.  Say or don’t say.   Those that are always there but just never show up.

Gosh how we find ourselves through or in life; or if we ever do.    Somedays I am still just as lost for things, for people for desire that may or may never come to life.

Imperfectly perfect.    As I watch the layers of my own choices through out life peeling back the layers only to somedays take on more unnecessarily in the process of trying to save others the tears and pain; and all you can do is watch their own self destruction and distraction and there is nothing you can do but watch the hurts and hang-ups they create in their own journey and blessings given.

All the while you may not be out there running in the dark or purposely hanging with those you will never really know.  Yet somehow you find yourself self-structing because you know despite your best effort you just hope for those things that just are not meant in your time.

Is it because you care too much?  Is it because you want the best of all of it?   Whatever that it is; love, laughter, life for yourself and those you care deeply about.    Caught up in that which must be done in the world for the choices you make.    Doing your best to avoid the demons and joy stealers.  As you learned long ago you can know someone  all your life; to find out you never really knew them at all.    

Constant is the battle of right and wrong; we all get to choose who we wish to truly connect or those we allow to toy with us or us with them. 

At what point do you really surround yourself with no agenda friends to help plant and sow the field of all that is good, all that is beautiful all that is nourishing mind, body, and spirit?  When we do, what is it that distracts us who is it that we give as adults the authority to direct our steps to right and wrong?

We are (humanity) one giant sticky bun.   Life sweet, yet so messy.   Allowing all that tastes so good at times yet knowing at some point just how bad it really is or can be for any hopes in the future.

It is more than just being a good human.   It is more than acts of kindness, it is more than paying it forward as we deserved none of the forgiveness, mercy, and grace we were given and still each day allowed up still given.

Where is the love for us, where is the self-preservation taking us and have forgiven ourselves and let go of what we were that got us where we are today.

Holding on tight to those moments of life that we really feel alive.  Using our moral compass and keeping it real doing our best to shine bright to help others grow.   Leaving it all at the foot at the cross and allowing the one who created us to lead us back to what was, what is and what forever will be.   Even if we do not know what that truly means.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to know you and spend time in your presence and want every day more of what is good, what is pure, what is real.    May I never lose my compass that keeps me walking with and towards all that is good in you Jesus.    Fill me up; fill up all I am connected even when I do not understand.  Even when; even if!  All those scars that come with living!  Lord heal your people; heal this land.   Lead Us; wake us up Father God; make us get up and just keep moving; keep walking doing our best while finding you within our souls.

Psalms 6:6-9 (NIV) ⁶ I am worn out from my groaning.

All night long I flood my bed with weeping
    and drench my couch with tears.
⁷ My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
    they fail because of all my foes.

⁸ Away from me, all you who do evil,
    for the Lord has heard my weeping.
⁹ The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
    the Lord accepts my prayer.

    

 

 

 

 

04.12.2021_April(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

 

Music pulled from https://www.youtube.com/ and are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted otherwise and are free for public consumption****

   (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)

Date: Monday, April 12, 2021 

Soul Vibes / Motivation Movers (YouTube.Com)

 

Undo @Rush Of Fools

 Held in Your Hands @Rush Of Fools

Who You Say I am @Among The Thirsty

Over and Over @Among The Thirsty

If You Love Her @Forest Blakk ft. Meghan Trainor

Love Feels Like @ DC Talk @TobyMac

 

Meditation Opportunities

Luke 9:23-24 (NIV)    

²³ Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. ²⁴ For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.

 

 (@Jesus Calling 365 Devotions with Real-Life Stories @Sarah Young)

 “Isn’t it often the same way with you?  You Trust Me when things go well. When you see Me working on your behalf?

 

“Stay on the path of Life with Me, enjoying My Presence.  Choose to trust Me in all circumstances.” 

Exodus 15:22-25  Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur.  For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water.  When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter.  (That is why the place is called Marah.)  So people rumbled against Moses, saying.  “What are we to drink?”  Then Moses cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood.  He threw it into the water, and the water became sweet.  There the Lord made a decree and law for them, and there he tested them.  

Psalm 31:14   But I trust you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.”

 

 Daily Journal/Thoughts/ Prayers (Thinking out loud)

Even those that believe and put all their hope and trust into the Lord, find at times if they stop and listen or were to record their day to day.  Just how often they find themselves putting trust into what they do, what they are seen as by the world.  Or even when putting everything into God; when things go well things are great.  Yet, when things do not, we find ourselves weeping, and carrying on feeding fuel to the fires that fill the world with so much negativity and smoke suffocating out anything that is good.

I wish personally I knew how not to do so.  I know it is what it is; until its not.   Nothing will change that.    “No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.” @CS Lewis

 

Crazy as that is; the truth sometimes is better like taking whatever is easy to just ignore or make it our own new truth and not worry about the impact.  At least until it comes back to bite us. 

Our choices are our own.   Like me staying up all night Saturday night and binge watching the Vampire diaries or because it was stormy all day yesterday and I was going nowhere.  For the first time in maybe 10+ years I stayed in my PJs all day and continued watching mindless shows.

I have always been a King Kong, Dracula old school Frankenstein kind of movie nut.  I stopped for years but when I get bored, I often tap into a series and binge watch not always using my best judgement and pacing myself.   Its all about the mystery in Mystic Falls.

Though I think today our modern-day vampires are much more dangerous when we allow anything to suck the joy out of our lives.   That time we waste saddened on what if’s or almost was; well, we can never get back.    

On the other hand, having that romance so intense that changes you could be incredible.

If you have someone to love like that; hold onto every second of every day given.  And when it ends, or they have to leave before you are ready to let go.   Give thanks for the love and lessons and all the memories you were able to share and make. 

 

 Every story always has an ending.   Just not always what we plan for. The only thing eternal is our spirituality and where you place your hope, your trust and your soul’s eternity is up to you.  However, there is only one ticket to heaven in God’s house and that is riding the Jesus Train all they way.   What you do here and now matters.  Making a day-to-day effort and building that relationship with Jesus is the only way to get to the Father.

There will be many distractions along the way over and over derailing you to do so.  Making you think you are not good enough, or something has disqualified you from purposing to find that peace and harmony within him.    But all those lies and wasted time worrying and making excuses is just that.

The relationship with you and Jesus Christ in works, in deeds, in truth.  Is between you and your actions and purpose with and for the greater good of your soul and your future.    We just do not know until we try!  And if first we do not feel it, find it, keep digging and trying until we do.  

Being our best selves has a price.  We pay now or pay later for all the good or bad we think we are doing.  

What we consume, the time we spend frustrated, and accepting defeat.  The less time we have to gear up in the name of Jesus and fight forward for the big and small things.

Yes, I cannot do this life on my own.   There is no doubt I have made a mess over and over in my life and if were not for the strength of God, I would have been that kid left out in the woods when it was done.    Maybe I was maybe who I was really supposed to be never existed and this is why I have been chosen.  Or maybe because who I would have been which I cling to; is why I am alive here and now in a world full of vultures and thieves begging Gods ultimate Army Angel; Jesus Christ, never lets me go.

Banged up, beat up, broken up it all leads you to the crossroads of do I care or not.  Do I keep going or do I turn around and run to what consumes me?  Do I give up and give in; or do I just keep giving thanks never fully understanding why or how.  And give thanks every step of the way.

I choose to keep riding this train until whatever the circumstances may be and I cannot ride any longer.

For today and all the crazy with, in and around me in my little spec of the world.  Be it binge watching or Jesus’s praising,  diving deep to the meaning of what was, what is and what may be.  All the good, all the bad and all the in-between.  Knowing if its not real its not happening.  If you cannot see it, feel it, touch it.  Then what is it.    As for Jesus in that, yes, I have felt the hands of God on and in my life.   More times to count than I deserve.

 

We all get to choose and live out our days with the choices we make.  We all pay for the choices we make.  Now or later.  What you choose is on you.  If you are sincere and true you find a way to keep going and bring it to life.  If you are fooling yourself and others.  Eventually everything in the dark comes to the light.   It is what it is until its not.   Not because of what we do or have had done.   But because ultimately the creator has better intentions for His children; His creation than we will ever know or understand.

In the end only truth, love and kindness should matter.      Even though we know in a world full of so much everything; we sometimes believe in our own delusions.

This is my maze being dumped out.  It is what it is until someday it changes or is no longer.  Until them may the same Grace of God that has given you life; pour into your spirit and show you the way of you were meant to be.   May you be filled with peace and hope, harmony and abundant blessings left to pour out on all you connect.