Thursday, March 3, 2022

03.03.2022_March (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

 

***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains, and made available for public consumption from public domains such as YouTube and/or BibleGateway, unless otherwise called out work of other Copywrites, Creators, Influences, Artists or Authors. ***    

Date: Thursday March 3rd

Meditation Opportunities coming from Biblegateway.com The Daily Verse

Isaiah 55:8-9 MSG

8-11 “I don’t think the way you think.
    The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
        God’s Decree.
“For as the sky soars high above earth,
    so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
    and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
    and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
    producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
    not come back empty-handed.
They’ll do the work I sent them to do,
    they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.

 Thought Movers, Motivations Touching to the Soul coming from YouTube.com

Jeremy Camp - Getting Started (Music Video)

 

Sidewalk Prophets - I Believe It Now (Official Lyric Video)

 

Even When It Hurts (Praise Song) - of Dirt and Grace - Hillsong UNITED

 

Out of Hiding (Official Lyric Video) - Steffany Gretzinger & Amanda Cook | The Undoing

 

Riley Clemmons - Broken Prayers (Official Video)

 

Thinking Out Loud – Journal Thoughts/Prayers / Mind Maze Overflow

The broken prayers to each day you are given are just baby steps of you making the choice and just getting started.    If He the God of all Gods, Lord of Lord, Christ Jesus has given his life to flow into the dust to come back alive within us.  It is never too late until you cannot get back up again!

Nothing you have done or will do cannot be forgiven and you given new life.   Yes, sin is sin and we all have it, done it, live in it.   And yes, perhaps your dirt is really grimy and hard to get off and the road to Egypt is so difficult you feel you cannot.

You are right.  Alone you cannot.  Sure, you can let this world manage you and all that you think you are.   But to live you must surely die to self and life within the realm of Jesus within you.

 

Burying ourselves to not feel or getting so busy to forget.  Yes, it helps I know I am an authority.   I hate feeling when it comes to those heart strings that get all knotted up.   But then although I do not know I remember back to Christ on the Cross and my feeble miniscule, little mind imagines how horrible He had it for those who would never know him.   Yet he did it anyway.

So why can’t I keep going.

Why can’t we all keep growing forward.

Choices

It is all about the choices we choose to make.  Sometimes we just make them and do not think, and they bite.  Others we just do not care and do it.

Absorbing the impacts or leaving the impacts.

This world is so full of that these days.  And I am sure I too am on the list even if I never purpose towards any opportunity that finds itself coming to life.

You cannot see it if you do not believe it period!

I often say if you put my resume along side me running day to day the convoluted confusing mess would surprise you.

I am not what I do.   No one is; no matter how hard we try to prove what we do what we have is who we think we are worthy to pretend to be.  Allowing the world to manage us and judge us according to whatever the standards are at that time.   And we already know that what was last minute is either changed or cancelled and no more.   Much less any history that continually repeats itself badly.

I so wonder why good things never continually repeat, spawning positive growth over and over???

 

The life cycle of broken prayers or so we think when we do not truly have a relationship with our maker.   I spent years believing in God and just to be part of something was always out and about.  In the end nothing matters without hope and belief.  More importantly without a true relationship with God and the only way to be so is really being in relationship with Jesus Christ. 

We all get there in our own time and choices.   Or not!  Depending on the choice we make every second of every day we are given.

Stop lying to your children, stop lying to yourself and own it.  Whatever it is at the time you are in.

I sat last night in my kids’ zone and trying to get one of our more unruly boys that comes and hangs out on Wednesday night just to be respectful of everyone around him and more so to sit and let others enjoy what they were learning and not just think we can do what we want and will be rewarded because someone said they promised it.

Don’t get me wrong our kids need love.  But you cannot do whatever you want or not do what you are requested.   But still be rewarded.     No matter who said what.  At some point in life, you will have a huge price to pay.      I get how tired we  can get and battling sometimes with a middle school age kid can be draining because they do not have that switch to tell them stop.  But seriously when you plow over littles to play and say oh sorry it was an accident.  Or even when you get in continual disruptive trouble.  Even bragging that you were in trouble because you disrupted an active shooter drill at school.

Oh my gosh…. PLEASE parents God loves us all and we should love everyone for who they are and not what they do.   But to grow and be a successful contribution to the human race or future of this already messed up world.   Keep it real and teach respect, logic and basic responsibilities.

Stop talking out both sides of your mouth.  Making a show in public and not following through or letting things go until the next episode.  Sets your child up to be then next person in the news because they cannot handle reality.

 

Okay that rant is over, but it is real.    We ignore the signs we rush our kids to grow up because we are too damn busy with things that never give us long term joy.    And we leave our responsibilities for others to be scuffed up by when the abrasions of bad choices happen.

Mine, yours, and everyone is washed over by the wave that is flowing.

Life is what it is until it is not.    We see it on the news, we live it day to day.

Burning up in what does not matter, matters!   Someone once shared with me they were burning up in a luxury furnace.    They had it all at their fingertips but was missing life.

That unfortunately is so heartbreaking when we cannot find life and lose it before its too late.    It’s sad we suffer at the hands of demons but to truly lose so many of God’s angel army is riveting.

I do not believe anyone in this world will ever have all the answers.   But we all can certainly spread love, peace and harmony and respect and remain accountable never letting go of that moral compass and help others shine even when we do not feel the light within.

For those who read through this mind maze.  Blessings and prayers for all that is good.

Keep getting back up and be the goodness in the moments you are given.   Know who you are in the creation of Gods realm and shine bright lighting the path.

Keep in pray for good of all things and all people.   None of us are promised tomorrow and any of us could be put in harms way or the biggest blessed moments of our lives at any time.

Our world is changing, cycling just as it did centuries before.   We can joke and say survival of the fittest.  But truly what are you doing to contribute and deserve anything more or less than the person standing next to you.

 

No don’t lay down become a doormat, become silent.  But when you raise your voices raise them in love and sound the tones and tunes that the heaven’s open up welcoming us all for.

My mind maze, my thoughts in prayer, in love for eternity!

 

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me !!!!


May God be with you in healing, comfort, protection and direction.

Tuesday, March 1, 2022

03.01.2022_March (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

 

***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains, and made available for public consumption from public domains such as YouTube and/or BibleGateway, unless otherwise called out work of other Copywrites, Creators, Influences, Artists or Authors. ***    


Date: Tuesday March 1st

Meditation Opportunities coming from Biblegateway.com The Daily Verse

Psalm 73:25-26 NIV

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever.

Read full chapter

Psalm 73:25-26 MSG

25-28 You’re all I want in heaven!
    You’re all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
    God is rock-firm and faithful.
Look! Those who left you are falling apart!
    Deserters, they’ll never be heard from again.
But I’m in the very presence of God—
    oh, how refreshing it is!
I’ve made Lord God my home.
    God, I’m telling the world what you do!

Read full chapter

 

 Thought Movers, Motivations Touching to the Soul coming from YouTube.com

Promises (feat. Joe L Barnes & Naomi Raine) | Maverick City Music | TRIBL

Jireh | Elevation Worship & Maverick City

I Thank God (lyrics)

Come Alive (Dry Bones) (Lyric Video) - Lauren Daigle

 

Thinking Out Loud – Journal Thoughts/Prayers / Mind Maze Overflow

Wow what a perfect verse reminding us we are not alone, and we are beyond loved by the one who gave everything for those who held tight to faith, hope and love of what God truly wanted for us when heaven came down and allowed humanity to exist.   Only to be validated later by Christ Jesus and the blood He allowed to be poured out of his own being so we could and would learn and act on the understanding of choice and the difference between good or evil, light or darkness.

It’s been a really thick several months around this globe that we are in unlike any snow globe being shook for its beauty.    This world and globe we are in is shaking and falling all over the place leaving us weak, and uncertain and in some maybe many cases grasping whatever is quick and easy just to feel something good for the few seconds that it lasts.

Death does not become us although it is coming for us in this world as we know it.

 

Losing loved ones or losing ourselves in the end becomes an irrelevant giant loss when we do so never knowing the ability and living making freedom of will and choice a priority through God’s eyes and son Jesus Christ.

All that he taught and is still teaching, all that he gave away or gave up, all that broke his heart and all that he fought for that very last breath to show love and promise of Gods beauty.

 

I cannot begin to compare the hardships and pain so many are feeling in this day and age right here right now.   I can tell you that you, we are never alone there is always someone who has been there done that; or crossing the Jordan trying to save whatever life they have life within them because of so much darkness that is consuming the world as we know it.

Is this time no different than so long ago?  Plagues, Wars, famine, innocence sacrificed at the hands of selfish ambitions now days called as bullies and power players no matter what the cost.

Yes, covid and the pandemic, wars, and rumors of wars.   And all the bullies that have a little more pocket change to pay off those who think they are doing the right thing while forgetting morality and humanity all together.

Let’s face it there are some criminal minds out there that function and thrive of pain and sorrow even if it is their own.

I have been battling this past year to keep my writing up.    The Jesus girl and freak I have become over time and the Jesus hippy of this decade that seeks peace, love, and harmony.    Which has often gotten away from me allowing the love at a distance in to closely and getting burned seeing the good in everyone.

Falling in love with dreams and honestly finding myself caring so deeply for some that I forget they too are only human and when their faults smudge my kaleidoscope view, I allowed it to rob me of what Jesus allowed to feed and grow me in the first place.

That old saying, I was born at night not last night has always been true.   Just sometimes trying to fill more good to numb that which sometimes sucks the life out of us takes over and before you know it well, we all just like you, just like me need to choose how we will fight the demons that trying to chip away at any days we are given.

Wishful thinking well I don’t wish too much these days.   Pray allot and need to do so even more so!    It’s not about me, but in life we have to be careful of the trolls and vampires of this world to make sure it doesn’t become so.  At least not in the process that we allow the world to dictate what life really means.

We are not defined by this world.   We just do not know it or remember it every day we are allowed back up.

My heart breaks.   Honestly it has been broken for a long time.   Between my growing up and learning what love isn’t.  To watching so many broken beautiful souls consumed and not make it past the demons of addictions, and choices that take their life.    To those who were a great impact on my life that I learned I really knew nothing about them at all and were not so good to look up to.  Or even those who I have admired my entire life and lost due to the cycle of life as it should be.

Those people, places, and things I found so uplifting and exciting to see what next to realize I should not even know anything about them.

Life is what it is until it is not though right.

Sometimes we just do the best we can when we cannot squeeze anything out of a day of rotten lemons.

Sometimes we hear nothing but bad and wake up to the sirens while trying to flee the wars or rumors of war that do not shut off in our heads.

I wish I had different things that have finally allowed me to set them free of this mind maze.

Some great romance story and deep passionate love as deep with every touch, breath, or word outside as it is from the soul inside wanting out.

I Pray daily that God will allow Christ Jesus to come heal this land now.  Not tomorrow later, right here, right now!

So much innocence and not just babies being harmed or robbed.  Not just the elderly being discarded without any respect or loyalty much less thankfulness that the younger generation would not even be without.

So many calling out, singing out, crying out acting out the need for Jesus to come!  All the while the demons in spirit and flesh taking all they can without hesitation and no justification for morality and payment for the injustices they force on everyone they go near.

Lord I pray your justice becomes swift, bold, and now.   It matters not what the sin is.  God sees everything.   The pedophile is no less guilty than the bully stealing life from those who have done nothing wrong.   The sin no more wrong than a lie, a thief stealing or player playing out the great hustle and taking from kind of hearts.     Be it in the neighborhood you are caught up and the hustle to get your next fix or across the pond just to get whatever you can.   There is no grey area.  Darkness will always be dark as brighter harmony and promise is always in the light and prevails.

Maybe we just cannot see that or feel that or know that depending on the day and spin of all that happens as our life globe is shaking us to pieces.

Maybe we do.

I wish here that I could say some magnificent thing and Jesus show up and prove me right with modern day miracles for so many more to turn to him and all that is good all that is pure, all that is moral and all that grows life and stops taking it.

Having nice things in life and the abilities to do what makes us feel great is awesome.   But selling our souls, our bodies, our peace to get it is not ever lasting.

Nothing good lasts forever however God’s truth, beauty and abundance in life is eternal.

May we all stand boldly steering at the face of evil and know no matter what comes next, We belong to Jesus and his sacrifice was not for nothing.  That we are worthy to be called son’s and daughters and have no problem for anyone watching  as we be our best selves holding that moral compass and forging forward.   That no matter what is behind us, God is forever up front telling us to take his hand.

May this world and all I am connected know you personally Jesus.   May our hearts, and souls burn for you and that warmth filling us be the energy and light that helps those seeking you and all you are to fill them up.

May we love people for who they are and not what they have or what they can get.   May we teach our youth no matter is or isn’t.  God’s promise is so much better and waiting for us to tap in.

 

In a sense I didn’t pick this life, but I never really chased anything to make something different.   Rock bottom can be so different for every single soul.  Am I a peace with who I have been allowed to be and grow into?   Yes!

God is not done with any of us yet if he has allowed us back up.

Be strong and stand your ground and do not sell your soul because the darkness around you suffocating and stealing the very air you breathe with something that will never make sense.

 

Hills and valleys and mountains coming up empty.   Till the day I die; I may never fully make sense or grasp it, but I know to whom I belong, and He has hold of me and right where I need to be.    I pray you find that peace too even in the painful moments.

Is it not better to believe and get back up fighting for all that is good then to just be the status quo and be like whatever moves the moments?

Thank you, Jesus, for this day.

Thank you for all that I have come to be part of and all that I have had to let go.

Thank you for knowledge and the power it brings and the difference of what we have verses what or who we become by things that will be no more.

Thank you for loving me and my family that you breathed life into these lungs and directed my steps for something more and not what I will have to leave behind.

May all that I am love like you, be loved by those who believe in you.    Purpose for something greater than ever deserved and fight the good fight forward knowing yesterday is gone, tomorrow is never promised and right here right now is what counts.   May your good will, live and abundant love in mercy and grace bless every one of my connections to be something better than their previous selves.

Protect and guide this world Jesus.  Come and show us, heal us and lead us into the eternal promise!

Friday, February 25, 2022

02.25.2022 February (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

 ***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains, and made available for public consumption from public domains such as YouTube and/or BibleGateway, unless otherwise called out work of other Copywrites, Creators, Influences, Artists or Authors. ***    

Date: Friday February 25th

Meditation Opportunities coming from Biblegateway.com The Daily Verse

Matthew 22:37-39

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]

Read full chapter

Footnotes

  1. Matthew 22:37 Deut. 6:5
  2. Matthew 22:39 Lev. 19:18

 Thought Movers, Motivations Touching to the Soul coming from YouTube.com

Chris Tomlin - Talk To Him (Lyrics) with Russell Dickerson

HOLY SPIRIT RIVER | Two hours of instrumental music and water sounds for stress relief

Jonny Diaz - "Breathe" (Official Lyric Video)

for KING & COUNTRY - Love Me Like I Am (Official Music Video)

I Can’t Get Away & Downpour - Melissa Helser, feat. Naomi Raine (Live)

 

 

Thinking Out Loud – Journal Thoughts/Prayers / Mind Maze Overflow

Talking to Him has been so filled with distractions these past few days in all the travel and hustle and fake personalities coming together for the loss of a loved one.   Not to mention getting everyone there then working our way back in a 1300 + track with bad weather.

Yet here I am pulling this new day back to the top and knowingly reminded how blessed to still be here even with all the bullies of the world harming and robbing innocence of life with over shadowing impacts to the once free country we were blessed to be given to live within.

 

As I watched the video of what is left behind covered with snow falling and thinking how thankful I am to not have to drive another day in it making our way back South.    The bittersweet reality of all the memories wash through and over me.

I am sorry

In a sense thinking had I not packed up years ago and left I could have somehow kept people that were Gods in check and the mess that was left to clean up would not have been so bad.  Then I remember although I knew God back then; I never knew Jesus as I do today.

The one who gives me strength and blesses me through it all every day allowed back up.

All the while the spin around me makes the worry and battles over what really does not matter.  

Life does not have to be easy; it does not have to be filled with nothing or everything.  It just has to be real for any real meaning in the end.

So, no matter if we have the biggest, and best of everything or nothing at all.  In the end its too late if you do not have Christ Jesus flowing through your veins.

 

I thought about the authenticity of a person when remind just how authentic Pops was in every area of his life.    Nope not sure how many times he every went to church or if he really believed in God and knew Jesus.    But I know whenever I invited him, he would go.

He was the light and hope for the many sickly and those he rescued over the course of his lifetime be it with words, with EMT abilities or fire/rescue days that would almost kill him.

May all his jokes and stories from on the big ship as a sailor or even around the neighborhood where he was allowed to grow be the smiles that all who were blessed to know him live on.

Logic, reason, and the ability to break many.  Yet he always stepped in a little closer and gave reason to find a way to just breath and smile.

 

As the little things seem as nothing while those who pretend, and smile seem to be everything.  May we never forget to just breathe in Christ Jesus and all he was, is and forever will be.

The hurt, the hate, the brokenness of what is lost or unknown will spin and we either become part of it because of where we are or get sucked in because negativity spawns across the globe so much faster than love and humanity.

Tomorrow is never promised and the reality of the new normal sets in day after day for everyone allowed back up.

May we all learn to love as Jesus did and does.    Love for who the person is in front of you.  Not what loan or gift you can get from them.  Not for what they do that will carry you into the spotlight.   Yes, maybe even we can learn to live and love ourselves for who we are and not all that we do or don’t have.

 

Hard to say what is up ahead.   WE can plan all day long, yet only God knows what will be.

None of us are perfect; yet the trolls of this world that grip on to take everything they can because that is what feeds their demons have them convinced; they need to be different than what they were / are truly created to be for this universe.

The bullies of this world that eventually are replaced by the next version of hate and darkness every century.

No matter what side we choose, light are darkness.  Greed, Power or giving it all away none of us can outrun God’s love.  We will see him and will be judged in love in the end.  Even if we are the worse human beings in the world.  

Before we go North or South, we will all answer to the creator.

Even if, Even when!

Hearts are breaking as innocence is lost.   From Pandemics, from insanity, from war, from just our time being up.     May you Christ Jesus wash through this universe.

Protect and guide in your will all in harms way.   Stop the madness as it unravels entangling so many.

Guide me as we find our way to pick ourselves back up.  May we not so much tune out the vulgarities of this world but learn how you would react.  And step up growing forward helping to plant the garden of life.

Thank you for all you have allowed in my life.  Good, bad, indifferent.  Those authentically still here and those who like ticks just cling on trying to suck the life out.   May you light hem up with all you are.

May I never stop loving and seeing your promise and good in any steps forward.  May I balance knowing how to hold on or when to let go when I have to step back.

I don’t want to get away from you Jesus. Ever and ever always till the day I die.

May I never stop loving and seeing your promise and good in any steps forward.  May I balance knowing how to hold on or when to let go when I have to step back.

I don’t want to get away from you Jesus. Ever and ever always till the day I die.

Shake up and shake out all the negative broken pieces and allow them to create something new and more beautiful with you.

 

Protect all your creation Jesus. 

May we all find our way to you and our souls washed whiter than snow, with our dedication and life needing, wanting, and doing what we can to reflect you in every way.  

Forgive me for allowing the distractions and sometimes not reflecting you in hope and love as I should.

Thank you for all you are and have allowed me and for any possible tomorrows!


Thursday, February 17, 2022

02.17.2022 February (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

 

***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains, and made available for public consumption from public domains such as YouTube and/or BibleGateway, unless otherwise called out work of other Copywrites, Creators, Influences, Artists or Authors. ***    


Date: Thursday February 17h 

Meditation Opportunities coming from Biblegateway.com The Daily Verse

Romans 8:35,37

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

Read full chapter

Romans 8:35 in all English translations

 

 Thought Movers, Motivations Touching to the Soul coming from YouTube.com

Death Where Is Your Sting (Official Lyric Video)

Even When It Hurts (Praise Song) Live - Hillsong UNITED

 

 

 

Thinking Out Loud – Journal Thoughts/Prayers / Mind Maze Overflow

Death is Never Dignified!

Although it proves we wait to long to love those we have when we have them and brings out all the fondness of who or what someone’s character really reflected in life.   The bittersweet pain always stings most for those who left a positive impact in our journey when they leave.

We lost a great man yesterday. My pops the one and only that was more of a human father figure to me all my life than any other soul in this world.    Looking at the impact he made on me and my family I was blown away that his friends from the local fire/rescue he worked with more than 38 years those chiming in referred to him as a legend.

One thing is for sure he left a positive impact for all the littles that will know his name to come in the future.

He loved without condition

He gave just as much to everyone and anyone that needed help

He encouraged everyone no matter what was happening he always pointed out the good in us and gave us that fuel to believe in ourselves and the moments we were in.

He was one of those guys that you did not have to say anything, but he got it!

He was a man in the world and seen and delt with so much but never hardened.

And even allowed me at times to drag him to church when he would travel 1500 miles to visit and relax.   Without hesitation he would even go see what I had to be part of.

No one really knows what someone’s relationship with God is.   No matter if they show up in a building of people worshipping or not.  

I pray God has him wrapped up tight right now telling him well done.

I know for sure he was one of those not famous guys doing anything special that everyone knew.  Where he could be in another state, and he would run into someone who knew him well.

He was that memorable in all he said, all he did or even didn’t do.

As our family feels the break of this now forever missing piece in our lives.  I pray for strength and continued courage for every one of us.

That we not let the yesterdays and misunderstandings make us forget to love today.   That we don’t allow others to teach us how to hate someone that we never ever get to know or have reason to even dislike.

The season is so hard right now as winter is truly set in and so much change in just one breath is about to spin so differently for a wife that has only known the life her husband shared with her.   That the many who wished they were closer try to shake off what they will forever miss.

That the hurt that wells up inside each time I think and smile of a memory that has taught us how to fight forward.

Yes, I said I was raised up in a single parent no parent home.   The damage was done to the children long before adult life transpired.    Then somewhere in my young adult life mom took that chance on love and they stuck it out ever since.   It does not take a rocket scientist to know all it takes is one good seed to be planted and everything can change.

Love without condition for who someone is; not anything in between or anything they have or can do.   It will be as it is the best blessing in life you will ever be allowed to hold on to when they have to leave this universe before you are ready to see them go.

 

Thank you for even this day Jesus and allowing me back up.   Even though I have not slept much these past couple days. And life well you already know.    Thank you for allowing me a journey and looking back on the past 38 years into so many fond moments that cost nothing but being real.

Father as I get ready to challenge the unknown and do this whatever this is next.  Protect, guide, and allow your will to be done for every connection I have in this life.

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

02.15.2022 February (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

 

***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains, and made available for public consumption from public domains such as YouTube and/or BibleGateway, unless otherwise called out work of other Copywrites, Creators, Influences, Artists or Authors. ***    


Date: Tuesday February 15th 

Meditation Opportunities coming from Biblegateway.com The Daily Verse

John 13:34-35

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Read full chapter

Thought Movers, Motivations Touching to the Soul coming from YouTube.com

 

Ryan Stevenson - When We Fall Apart (Lyrics)

for King & Country - RELATE (Lyrics)

Tauren Wells, Jenn Johnson - Famous For (I Believe) [Official Lyric Video]

Crowder - In The House

Lauren Daigle - Still Rolling Stones (Lyrics)

 

Thinking Out Loud – Journal Thoughts/Prayers / Mind Maze Overflow

Wow 38 years ago just barely out of my teens I gave birth to a beautiful.   A beautiful blessing that gave me more challenges out of my comfort zones and changes every single day since.

Happy birthday kiddo.   May you always know you are loved and more beautiful inside out and have so much going for you without the worry or anxiety of trying to keep up with this crazy world.

Bittersweet as our family is riding the roller coaster of the cycle of life.    Where pops is now in a long-term care facility and mom has to move away. Both giving up all they know or have known for their lifetime.    Where people are coming in like steam rollers and clearing out and posting out and see what they can work out and take with them.  

Life is not fair.  I remember the day I came home after two years living in my home and all the contents of the neighbor house dumped in the driveway and like swarms of bugs people coming out of no where to pick through someone’s life.

Shortly after that helping a dear friend sort, file, pack another friends life as they had moved out of this world all that meant something to them was nothing but piles of stuff to be managed.

 

So, no matter if it is abrupt, long term or planned.  Nothing we have in this world matters when we have to survive and live whatever life we are given left.

 

Yeah, super cool when we have it all.   But once you are gone, they will come to take, or fight for taking whatever is left.   Family that has not given your existence the time of day to those that are close in the circle fighting over stuff and forgetting what it really meant to love.

There is always room and chance to really see the other side of people.  Those that you adore and respect when it comes to the cycle of living and what they are trying to do reflects who they really are in the end.  

No matter how they dress, walk, or talk in the big screen.   The real them always shows forth and slips out.   Prayerfully no one gets hurt in the midst of the storms we will all go through.  Prayerfully we won’t just quit losing the ability to hold tight to truth and the deep joy that only Christ can bring.

As I am feeling the pain and sorrow for such distasteful endings to even if not perfect the perfect as they knew it.  Of my own family and the broken pieces poking and cutting the many that truly care.

With limited ability to have walked away for a month and go take care of things the way maybe I could of or should have stepped in to help.    Knowing the right path was taken and things will work out.  Although it bites when that which has controls of your heart strings and the feeling that overwhelms you to see life so discarded and the vulnerable and the choices, they make to bite hard in the end.

Life is until its not~ No tomorrows are ever promised.   Just choices and results of those we do.    Attitudes are contagious and sometimes those results of our own or others weigh heavily to determine what next.

Thankful someone could and even for those who never did that are trying now.

We never really know but you do Jesus!

Remembering sitting across from the man who was my biological father as an adult and me asking why you walked out on us.  Why did you not keep in touch with your children?  And all he did was shrug his shoulders and say I don’t know.   Later in his 70s to commit suicide when he was unable to fulfil and be the person, he was with the person he gave up his family for to be something else with them.

For me to be given the rosery beads he had in his pocket at the time he left. 

Only you know God why the world calls for us to be unified later to rip us apart in bittersweet things we call life.

Anyway, I can sit and think back over my life and the moments I was so broken that the love of my life was all a lie  or talk about how I fell in love with a man named Jesus and all he stood for and filled this soul with so much hope.  I can write about all the broken pieces of the cycle of life and how humanity is truly unkind or talk about how God knows why.  And we just have to believe and keep getting back up as long as we can.

Not holding on to the pretenders or broken things that hurt and take our breath.

We can be thankful for those who dive in and do their best all the time loving people for who they are and not what they can get from them.  Even love those who you step in as a job to help and they never pay you for the jobs done.   But you know you made a great impact even briefly.

Prayers we all seek God in the house from the time we wake until the time we lay back down.

At least for me and what I believe.   Blessed beyond all the craziness and broken pieces.

This too shall pass if only we cling to the light shining on the other side and one step closer to the eternal door.

God, you got me.   Cause this world and humanity in it is so unfair at times and I don’t want to be like that.  May I never stop fighting to rise back up and never let any of this stuff change my love to the beloved you have given me.

May any connections have the blessing to see you Jesus.   Really showing up and let them choose now who they will serve.

Change hearts, change hurts, change habits.    Change the darkness into your beauty and grace and when the smoke clears may the diamonds shine brighter in your image.

Your will be done for all that I am.   Love hard or not at all its not about me. So when these feelings make their way give me logic, give them hope, give me all you want me to be even when nothing is everything for all.

 

Even on this day 38 years ago I lay for almost 2 days in hard labor alone giving birth to what I thought love looked like.  Fighting every day forward since to live the responsibility I was given love.   Thank you then even when it hurt.  Thank you now beyond blessed still hurting for those you gave to love.

Sunday 5-11-2025_PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe (AlwaysMeKelly)

  ***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains and made available for public consumption from pu...