2009-The Little things that count(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Well what a great sermon today about ego. How we eventually make everything personal and about us. Even when we strive to keep it about God.

I know I personally thought I was doing an awesome job about making my life God filled. And I have grown and changed by leaps and bounds.

But funny how we don't even know that we make things about us and not just wait and listen for the spirit to fill us.

The little things that count. I have changed wanting and getting everything from the material world. At one point that was all I had to matter. I sadly raised my children that way too and I can tell you they are learning and thankfully watching me now and not letting it bring them down.

But even when you stop getting all the latest gadgets and gizmos. Name brand clothes what about our reaction when someone in traffic cuts us off. Or for me convicted. As I sat in the ER yesterday all day waiting for the doctors to fix my thumb that appearantly was bitten by a spider during the night and became PAINFULLY swollen and hurt so bad I could not move it without pain and trobbing.

So because I am all about following through. I go to pre setup the Vine Cafe and me and my granddaughter go to the ER.

Sure you would think I made a committment to serve and could not just go without trying to fulfill my committment. Even though I was able to get a dear friend to cover for me.

Yet in the hospital hours of sitting waiting to just be seen much less release me and advise what can fix the thumb. I personally would have settled if they just cut it open and take out what ever was causing this issue. After all I recently just got a clean bill of health. I had been really good about not over doing anything anymore. And now this.

Yet when the doctor came back and really didn't believe I was in any danger as soon as the nurse wasn't busy he would release me. And didn't know if I just woke to a sudden case of rhumatoid arthritis or I had some infection. Even though all the signs showed infection.


It was then I started pacing asking God what is the message Lord I am to get out of this trial. If they are not going to do anything for me I had things to do, I was to be back at the Vine and my discomfort was then telling the Lord how unfair it was to have my granddaughter sitting there with me watching me in pain and them not be able to to a thing.

She is such a sweet caring soul already what was this lesson.

Then in today's message Ego and it really not being a God thing yesterday but me really close of making it a me thing. Do I walk out, do I show my anger, how do I teach my granddaughter the proper way to react in this case. YES all those things going through my head.

Then I remember back when my children were growing up, I would have been quick to snap and well it was all about me.


Finally I convince the doctor I really have been well. I have not done anything to strain the thumb any days previous I just woke up and it was that way and when I got home I looked around and found part of a spider on the floor next to the bed. I must have mushed it or something in my sleep. And not to mention I just had surgery a couple years prior and I really can not afford to wait a few more days for something worse to happen.

So am I that person quick to judge in traffic, or scanning for the quickest line in the market and get frustrated when the line takes longer. Yes unfortunately. No matter how much better I struggle to be. I still fall short along with many of my peers, friends, family. I pray I get better at this. Especially when un-meaningfully I quickly judge others when they are throwing their temper tantrum.

As for my granddaughter hopefully my telling her sometimes there just are no answers will someday have meaning. Thank you Jesus for showing what that visit at the ER was suppose to mean.

Now can you make my thumb heal quickly?

Because as I slowly get those big things out of my way. I truly find the little things will always have more lasting meaning then I could ever appreciate in this life time. Including living without pain. For I am not the tough what you gonna do kid from the streets any longer.

I just pray for simple loving memories, family and friends.

Thank you

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

2009-When I Say I am Christian

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When I Say "I Am A Christian"

by Carol Wimmer

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"
don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.

2009-Waking Moments(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

As I wake early this morning like every other morning.
I find myself thinking.

Most times I wake and have gotten in the habit of giving thanks to our God as soon as I know I am awake.

But this morning my thoughts were in every direction
As I lay there and wonder; why I kept coming back to a task at hand.

You see Florida's weather has been colder for longer periods of time this season.
With that the wonderful critters that dwell in the earth here are looking for warmth, water or who knows what.

As you see I am not one that does bugs well at all. So I only know that over this past month, I have been seeing big red ants appear in my one bath room one - two at a time here and there.

Except for the past couple days they have been bringing their family members now 3 and for at at time.

So here I am awake trying to talk myself out of getting out of bed for once.
Yet I find myself back in the bathroom turning the bathroom light on quickly to see what is in there and where might these unwelcomed guests be coming from.

God's creatures as like all creepy crawly things including us.

I managed to find 5 this time, and found myself climbing to reach the ceiling to kill each and everyone.

Again cleaning down the bathroom and spraying cleaners down the drain pipes.

Yet I still can not find the location of entry for these pests.

Then it comes to me, just how often before I really turned my life over the spirit, did I come so close to getting in.

Yet for one thing or another I was caught up in this world. And I too crushed the opportunity of the many blessings I now live, breath and enjoy daily.

My mind then goes wandering to prayers of thanks for our God never gave up on me.
Along with the repeated prayers that my children and grandchildren will be allowed the blessings, the courage and life to know the truth.

That they will continue to use the freedom of choice we all are blessed with.
Picking up and reading the Basic Instructions Before Life Ends the Bible!

Grant it I don't read it still today as often as I should. Just as I find my learning of what most of it means allot easier in a class where many others as myself share the learning, and questions of what is sometimes not so easy to swallow.

And for me that is okay! Because the life's blessings that have come my way alone, just from believing. Are truely amazing.

So here I sit, wondering why I am a morning person.
If I have lost my mind over time getting up searching to see where ants may be getting in to my home.

To then have my mind awakened with knowledge and truth; and many many thanks that our heavenly father is not a throw away father. As my own biological father was.

Or as many parents have come to be in this world.
As I pray
Dear Lord that the angels of protection; accountability; grace and love come down and walk with my children and grand child or children to come.

I pray they do not take so long to understand and openly hold on to you.

I pray Lord I continue to have the strength for all things that are to come.
Especially for withstanding when the ants come in.

When I see the critters making their way into my childrens lives and I can do nothing.
As they in the world devour the spirits, like fresh cane sugar for their little ant feast.

Lord for you have blessed me beyond all words, in this life.
I pray my family and friends never stop believing in hope with you in the future.
And if they don't understand or can not ready themselves to ask for you.

Lord may the light shine to take away their fears.

Thank you Jesus
In His Precious Name... May we the critters of this life know our place, and continue to serve the God most high!

Amen
  With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

2008-THOUGHTS ON 12-3-2008(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Today some one sent me a poem speaking about giving thanks for all things all the time.
It listed out line by line each and every thing no matter good bad or indifferant our God deserves thanks for.

I always think I am a very thankful person; knowing where I have been in my life what I have been through and where I am today. Always mindful of everything around me and where I could be at any given time. How easily I hurt seeing others hurt. Just as I walk confident and really think I give it all to God. taking what other people sometimes say to make me feel good by speaking of me to others on how or what a dedicated Christian I am; or as of recent a recruiter for Jesus and I don't even know it. I work hard, I dedicate myself to what God wound want, and no longer to the world. Although I struggle with choices at times.

I am pretty comfortable and peaceful with minor turmoils going on here and there. Until Our God taught me another valuable lesson just yesterday but gave it meaning today.

I try to not take stock in much these days but just count my blessings and chalking things up to it just being part of life. You know things happen, people come and go, health is maintained, things you like are taken away people you love die. But for what ever reason He has me referencing how in May 07 I willingly gave my life to strangers to fix my broken heart, patching holes and prevent me from bleeding to death or my heart exploding where the blood was leaking and pooling. Never even gave it a second thought of worry. As I say it is what it is. I went in they worked on my beating heart for 4 hours and 6 hours later I got up and took off running. I reaching for everything I enjoy the most and not skipping a beat. Then Jesus finally put me in check yesterday.

You see I walked in to try out for something very dear to my heart; but the instant I arrived although I was surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ, people that I knew as soon as I walked in the room I filled with the first time ever uncontrollable anxiety. In the beginning I wasn't sure what I was so nervous for but thought I could manage. And although I did just manage it was not until today I actually really got what what was happening to me.

You see I go through the motions daily. And with heart and real passion I just keep going and going. Never fearful, never skipping a beat just jumping in and doing.

So why all of sudden would I experience this type of fear; that I was to be doing something my heart loves for our God. Yet I worried about what those brothers and sisters around me were going to think. And I let it consume me.

And today Jesus reminded me as to how I could put my life in some strangers hands and let them have the mercy over if I lived or died just with the past surgery alone. Much less all the other things I do or don't do by taking quiet time with him.

Yet I could not even walk amongst Christ family relax and let God know how I really felt.

I wonder how many of us realize when God speaks. For this time thankfully I did.

It is not about what I could have been doing, wheather anyone really thinks I am qualified for any thing in this life or not. It is really believing what I Say I will be doing for Jesus really matters or not! I love my God, and he has given me a passion. He has given me heart and fixed mine time and time again. And for once He has allowed me to realize just how much it means to trust in Him for all things and not just the things that come natural.

The serving others and laughing and fellowshiping, caring that is just how he made me.
And no matter how often I speak of it there will never be enough thanks for the favor he has blessed me with. Nor will any of it matter until I fully understand each and every inch of me that does not naturally understand and belong to Our Father.

I Thank You Jesus And thank you my brothers and sisters for the wonderful things you do.

In Christ..

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

2008-BLIND FAITH(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Yes ~ sometimes blind faith can mislead us. Or place us in directions to which He calls us out to finally stop and listen. Have no doubt all I do is with the love and fear I am doing what is right for Him and in His kingdom. But sometimes we just run blindly into things, assuming they are for the greater of Him but ultimately it is because we have freedom of choice and without thinking we just do it, because we can.

My purpose of the story was of a couple things. One a reminder that if it is for His glory we stop, we watch, we listen and we PRAY. we just don't do it because the opportunity is right in front of us and we do not know if or when it will come again. That should never matter! The other thing is that of which I am so so grateful that I have been blessed to hear, see, discern most of what is put in front of me and the ability to change what I can and know or learn the differance for what I can not.

For if our choices truly pertain to His will; Nothing else ultimately matters!

Prayers we always pray first, listen second and react according to His will.
Praise and Thanks I have been blessed to speak out, good, bad or indifferant.
Praise for the Love I have been blessed with such awesome family and friends.

In His precious name.Amen