2011-THANKSGIVING EVERYDAY (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Those days of a group of kind hearted giving souls getting together for the holidays.

To go out of their way cooking and boxing special meals to bless others.  Well it may be temporarily gone but not forgotten.

For the times are grown trying and desperate for many.

And the need for Thanksgiving is everyday now.

The need for food; shelter; basic necessities are a daily chore.

For the numbers of homeless children in Hernando county schools six weeks into the new school year are already at 125 homeless students that have not fallen through the cracks.


What will you do?

Just keep walking around in your own world and imagine life is a daily grind;
  And as long as you don't let them in.   Things will be just fine.

Trust me brothers and sisters.
That is an outrage and a lie.

It could be your family; it could be your friend.
Does it really matter who is in need by name; in the end?

Our children never asked to be here.
And they are the future which is suffering greatly.

So stop with the high and mighty;
Stop with ignoring.
Stop with what has any one done for me lately.

To be first you must be last!

I ask; I pray;

You will reach deep within your heart.  Get creative.  Get what you can.
Help the children; your fellow sisters and brothers.  Fellow man~

All you have to do is reach out to the local school.
They will put you in connection just how to help; and what to do.

Remember there is a baby freezing and hungry somewhere near.

2011-STOP THE BULLYING EARLY (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

You are created by the same one who has created the stars and the sky. Your beauty is greater then the rose that fades. You deserve more in and for yourself, your future. Than any violence or disrespect anyone could give or get. The same creator who made the ocean tides; also gave every single one of use. Freedom of choice! So hear it now; hear it clear and loud. Whenever you see it near. There is NEVER a reason or execuse. For domestic violence or abuse! Stop the bullying early. KBF 9-23-2011

2011-Transparency in the shadows (PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

How do we lead by example when we are always on assignment to follow someone else's expectations or rules?


Though we must work together to reach a common goal; how often do we reflect it is my way or now way at all.

How often do we take something twist or mold it to work to meet an objective; yet we don't give those that are supposed to be team, family, partners, seekers of the common goal a second chance if things start derailing from what we think they should be going.

How often does our meism leave us stalking in the shadows creating a fog for all others to clearly see our intent. Or interpret something that far from what we were attempting even with our best efforts.


You say I want you all to be welcomed and feel comfortable to do as you need to make this work.

Yet on any given day; It could just be I want you to do whatever you can to get it right just make it meet the objectives. And when it is done, who really cares what is on your mind until the next time I need you.


We are all the same; all hiding those inner most feelings so that no one steps on us we tolerate on any given day. We mean to love unconditionally. But past hurts, or burdens or beliefs instilled in our being; keep us hiding our hearts and our true feelings in the shadows. Sometimes it may be just the opposite that we let our heart and emotions carry us away where we over exert energy in area's that should never be a matter.

How do we come out of the shadows?

How do we remain transparent?

How do we remain focused and not demoralize any one situation?

Give all the glory to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Take all the hope and every breath you awaken with each new day.. Giving thanks no matter what comes your way.

Protect yourself, but know when you must react.. And if you are unsure then you must be lost in your efforts in finding God's peace and you are letting the world and the ways of it weigh on your soul.

None of us are perfect; we all just try to be. And when we walk towards equality we become more and more transparent. And realize what hides in the dark deserves to stay in the dark.

Sometimes it really is just nothing! Sometimes we have to humble ourselves and bow down and bend, turn, or move over! Sometimes we have to remember if we are lucky we have our loved one's, our families, our friends. And although we may love them deep within. It is not about them, it is not about us! It is the blessings we are given every single minute we are allowed to suck air and just be in any one place.


Take Thoughts Captive -- We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5)

2010-FEED OUR CHILDREN --RIGHT HERE IN SPRING HILL FLORIDA

With some of our local volunteers from Wiggleworms Learning Center, The SpringHill Neighborhood project and the Angel Food Ministry team from Christian Church in the Wildwood. ~WE ARE REACHING OUT IN EFFORTS TO ASSIST THE HOMELESS~

That is right (WE) You, Me and many others need to come together and take care of our children and the hungry right here in Hernando County.

LET’S FEED OUR KIDS RIGHT HERE IN SPRING HILL

????DID YOU KNOW????

There are 75+ homeless children in our county and the calls keep coming…

The holidays will be here soon, let’s get it right!

Let us join together and provide a true Thanksgiving dinner for all of our children and their families. Our goal is to deliver a hot meal to these kids ON Thanksgiving Day.

If you want to help we need:

PRAYER
VOLUNTEERS
DONATIONS
PRAYER

ITEMS NEEDED TO START ARE:

· · Donations from businesses
· Money for perishables that will have to be purchased later
· People to help prepare food
· People to deliver
· Foil
· Disposable serving dishes
· Canned goods
· Plastic utensils
· Paper plates etc
· Baking stuff
· Take home Styrofoam dishes

IN COORDINATION OF EFFORTS

ALL Food preparation will take place at the Bridge Christian Life Center in the daycare building. 7279 PINEHURST DRIVE SPRING HILL FL 34606

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO PARTICIPATE OR MAKE A DONATION YOU CAN CONTACT ANY OF THE FOLLOWING VIA EMAIL WITH (FEED OUR KIDS) IN THE SUBJECT LINE OR CALL THE FOLLOWING NUMBERS.

COLLEEN representing WIGGLEWORMS LEARNING CENTER 7279 PINEHURST DRIVE SPRING HILL FL 34606 EMAIL WIGGLEWORMS@NETZERO.NET again subject line FEED OUR KIDS PHONE (352-686-2400 or 352-584-6744) OR

MONITARY DONATIONS/GROCERY GIFT CARDS CONTACT BOB AND DEB VALANTE - Representing ANGEL FOOD MINISTRIES through CHRISTIAN CHURCH IN THE WILDWOOD 10051 COUNTRY ROAD WEEKI WACHEE FL 34613 EMAIL ANT91798@AOL.COM or PHONE (352-684-1443)
OR

COORDINATING VOLUNTEER LISTS AND NEEDS
KELLY FAIRFIELD Representing ANGEL FOOD MINISTRIES CHRISTIAN CHURCH IN THE WILDWOOD 10051 COUNTRY ROAD WEEKI WACHEE FL 34613 EMAIL ALWAYSMEKELLY@GMAIL.COM or PHONE
(352-263-9554)

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR ANYTHING YOU CAN DO. AND PLEASE KNOW IF YOU CARE TO DONATE ITEMS BUT CAN NOT MAKE THE DESTINATION -- WE WILL BE GLAD TO ASSIST GETTING IT THERE. GOD BLESS YOU!


Wiggle Worms Christian Learning
Bridge Christian Life Center
7279 Pinehurst Drive
Spring Hill, FL 34606
352-686-2400



The Neighborhood Project
5404 Applegate Drive
Spring Hill, FL 34606
352-345-5954


Christian Church In The Wildwood
10051 Country Road
Weeki Wachee Fl 34613

2010-HOW THANKFUL ARE YOU (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Today 9-15-2010 marks 70 days until Thanksgiving 2010.



Now some are gonna whine and say don't remind me. Others ask whats the point and some are looking forward to sharing a time with family and loved ones; Giving thanks for every blessing they have received this year. Even despite some hard times along the way.



Well can I tell you and I know some people get offended or upset when I use this analogy.



But if I were to leave this earth tomorrow; I have no regrets of my life.



It has been full with ups, with downs; with so much unknown. It has been full of so many wonderful people and even those who didn't mesh with my personality or were not so wonderful. I have learned from.



I could list the hard times I have endured from the time I was able to walk up until yesterday. WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT!



I am blessed to get up another day to live and breath and even reflect on those would of should of could of things.



Yes there are many. The tears of pain, real physical pain through heart felt pains that I thought I wanted to kill me to make go away.



Or the tears of emotion seeing new born babies come into this world; seeing my children grow up and make a life for themselves;

seeing beautiful places and meeting so many beautiful people. You know the ones that just open their mouths and your drawn like a magnent with the message they are sharing and love that flows so freely.



Colors I have always been a colors person; loving just about everything thing and everyone. And being in awe when I go out into the gulf of Mexico with nothing but miles of ocean around or up in the moutians up north.



There is so much for me to still see this I know. But one thing I personally am thankful for everyday of my life.



Is for all I have experienced and all I have seen. And the vision and desire to put my one little me speck back out there and try to make things better for those that are being blinded or consumed and can not see and appreciate even a minute of good.



So I may make a differance today or not at all tomorrow. But I can say and maybe this is where my being selfish comes in. But like a rush of excitement and anticipation. When you know you can do something for someone that matters. Is what it is all about.



So it doesn't have to be big; it doesn't have to be planned. Just do it! You know PAY IT FORWARD... Every single day. And on those days that you just can't. And man I get them too. Just remember to give the thanks back to the one who has blessed you to be alive and be who you are and know there is Freedom of choice, Freedom of Will. So if you don't like how your life is working out, change it don't quit it; don't just be like everyone else. Dare to be different!



I have been there done that; more times then I care to reflect upon. And I have always been out there Heart and Soul. I am me Always me Kelly. I love; I laugh; I live; being happy and being saddened by things I would never expect.



But I AM Because I was blessed and given life by the sacrafice our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ died and blessed us all with.



Believe it or not that is not my to do or point. It is what it is.



My point is over the years and it has taken me many to realize we own nothing.

We are blessed with everything we allow to consume us.



Yet some of us due to all kinds of reasons lose their blessings, never had the education to know they even had them or health / wealth and circumstances out of their control make them in need. I personally learned long ago not to judge. Because my friend every single one of us live in a glass house. And you know that thing for every action is a reaction. Well that reaction of your judgment may just take your glass palace to the ground.



So Be kind always even when you don't want to.

Be free to give when you have the abilities. You can't take it with you. And it does not have to be money or material items. It could be a helping hand, a quiet ear to listen and not speak. A true I love you for who you are! You are not alone and you are loved.



Well I am thankful for anyone taking the time to read this post. I hope it gives you meaning and puts a smile on your face.



For years I have gotten into volunteering. With the City of Tampa, just with people or friends, with my church CCW and I personally can tell you time is more valuable then any dollar. I am a passionate person in everything I take on. And I believe that passion is a blessing and is what has carried me through.



But last year my passion stepped up when dear friends asked if I wanted to be part of taking home cooked boxed meals out to those living on the streets or in low income areas on Thanksgiving day. This is not handing out food for some to go home and cook. We gave them a meal. And I still remember with my granddaughter one man thanking us because they did not know how they were going to feed their children that day.



The little things are nothing compared to those crippling people right in our own back yard.



This year we are gearing up and planning to reach out right here in Spring Hill. A need that is far greater then most of us care to look at.

So far just in the 34606 zip area there have been 15 families displaced and lost their homes all with children. So far and we just started investigating there have been 76 students getting up and going to school for a better day that are currently considered homeless in Spring Hill.



I am sure there are more. Because I know coming from a single parent low income no income home. You just don't broadcast your not like everyone else.



In fact most will fight and do everything in their power; right , wrong or considered crazy to prove they can be like what is so called acceptable and normal.



My point for me maybe I will be a light to someone so they are blessed to do things God's way and not the ways of the world that are forced upon us.



So we are planning as mentioned and will know soon. Exactly which area's we will be cooking, boxing and taking food to.

And let them know they are loved.



Along with that I personally will be considering and praying just what would it take to adopt some of these folks for Christimas and get them in touch and share the meaning of Thanks and Gods love.



This will take effort. On my part and anyone who wants to come along. My goal is not to buy the needs of others. But get together an informational packet to help them network out to get back on their feet.



There are many that will eat a meal no matter what; but only some will really reach out to make that change that takes their own effort and desires.



There is a great need! I pray that others also dare to make a change.



I am thankful even if I fail that I can try one soul at a time.



Much love in Christ

2010-Rest In Peace my father (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Obituary for Harold Fairfield
1939 - 2010


Service:

Friday, September 03, 2010 9:30 AM
Holy Family Parish, Albany
Interment:

Our Lady of Angels Cemetery
Colonie, NY
Fairfield, Harold G.
Clifton Park – Harold “Harry” Fairfield, 71, passed away Wednesday September 1, 2010.
Harry was born in Albany the son of the late Julia (O’Brien) and Harold Gleason and was a lifelong area resident. Harry, aka “Buddy” to his family, worked as a laborer and also was a Lifetime Member of the Teamsters Union out of Albany. As an avid hunter and fisherman, he loved spending time in the woods and was a faithful friend.
Harry is survived by his sister Patricia E. Fairfield, three children: Julie (Jessie) Moore, Kelly Fairfield and Harold (Bo) Fairfield, six grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren. He is also survived by his best friend Jimmy Teller. Also, Harold is survived by many nieces and nephews and a beloved friend of fifty years. In addition to his parents, he was predeceased by his sisters: Irene Fairfield Tucker Dowen and Regina Fairfield Horton.
The family would like to thank the staff of the 6th Floor of Albany Memorial Hospital for their loving care and concern during Harold’s stay.
A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated Friday 9:30am at Holy Family Parish (previously St. Patrick’s). Interment will be in Our Lady of Angels Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Community Hospice of Albany 445 New Karner Rd., Albany, NY 12205. To leave a special message for the family online, visit www.NewcomerAlbany.com

2010-WHAT CAN HAPPEN IN SIX WEEKS(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

This has been the most stressful six weeks of my life ever.

Not only did I acquire the Community MRSA infection in my thumb and it went into the bone.
But during the time of remedy I sat for 2 -2 ½ hours twice daily being pumped full of antibiotics to kill the infection.

With that I acquired all sorts of little anomalies the medication generates in your body and just the feeling of being lethargic daily and trying to maintain proper diet so the medication did not kill my stomach totally.

During this time I choose to agree with the doctors that I could work but done so from home with the approval of management team.
Knowing I am a dedicated hard worker.

What was not anticipated upon was just how hard it was to trouble shoot and resolve some things that normally I get better when face to face.
Which if not for such an awesome team lead and/or peers. I would have melted down far more then the two times I just thought I could not take it any longer.

I am not one to hold anyone up because I don’t understand something or I just can’t get something to work in a timely manner that I would ever miss a date.

Yet the obstacles were there daily, and intensified with my health situation.

On top of trying to perform at the top, when knowing I was still so very new to this team that was enormous in comparison to all other projects I have been tasked with.
Not in the perspective of work, but the perspective of how many things are interdependent.

Then the weight of my personal emotions during this six week period, which I had to report every day twice a day for treatments.
When my mother went to the hospital and I could not travel to be there
When my daughter went to the hospital and I really could not do anything
When my sons uncle passed and I could not travel to the funeral
When my sister in law just needs company and I can not travel
When my biological father is hospitalized and placed on dialysis 3 times a day and even if I wanted I cannot travel
When I am preparing to move and have to wait for the picc line to be removed before I can prepare


I have thought much over these past several weeks; and if there is one thing for sure.

We never know what will happen next. Truly I was working out almost every day; feeling good, looking good and all of a sudden this life threatening issue that attached my thumb from touching something with a wound on my hand that had MRSA on it.

I am thankful that the images of clinging to my Spiritual father, arms wrapped around and holding to his legs for dear life, never to let go.
As he looks upon me like a child, telling me do worry yourself. As it is what it is and all will work out.

No matter what happens in this lifetime; there is and always will be the Father; Son and Holy spirit whenever you choose to call upon.

During this time it is best you learn to see; and hear the message.

For sometime you give everything; yet receive nothing back because of the lack of calm and quiet devotion.

Even during this time of turmoil you face. You still continue to reach and strive for everything and everyone else. Trying to gain resolutions to issues that are not your own.

They are all mine!

Follow your own words of wisdom to all you care about.

Let go; Let God And you may hold onto me as the child you are.

But I prefer you stand up and speak with me one on one. And listen to all I have to say; show and give.

For this six weeks is nothing compared to the enternity that awaits.

2010 - Easter Cardboard Testimonies - Christian Church in the Wildwood

http://vimeo.com/10738728

Link to Easter Cardboard Testimonies.

2010-Just when you think you have life under control! (alwaysmekelly)

My life has always had some sort of drama or event happening in or around me. So here I was working on getting fit this year.

Starting in January to lose the extra weight finally that I have been carrying around for the past few years. And nope not talking about all that old emotional baggage we sometimes hold onto and won't get rid of.  That my friends has been and is handed over to the higher power daily.  Talking about just getting caught up in life, and pity and everything else where you double your size and attitude in the process and never know it until one day you look at a picture and realize the person you see is not who you want to be or thought you were.

So over the next few months I learned allot when joining weight watchers.  Learning about reading labels, learned about calculating calories, learned about diabetic diets would benefit people far more then weight watchers counting.

But not for nothing less,  my goal was to get in shape, and working out at the gym 2 times a week, doing taekwondo once a week and watched my weight and over the next several months I proceeded to lose a total of 23 pounds. Man looking younger, feeling younger and good life is getting on track.  Keeping in mind this is for health reasons I would not let it get to my head.  But the excitement of how it even changed all my blood work and this was good.

Then that rug under my feet was slowly being tugged.  In April playing with my dog I didn't move my hand and my thumb got cut on his tooth.   It wasn't bad but I knew to watch it.   Soaking and cleaning it with alcohol it was healing nice. It was a little scratch healing awesome and during this time don't you know because I work so much with my hands I didn't keep it covered all the time and traveled all over.  From NY for my grandfathers funeral to Cocoa beach to visit someone I had not seen in 13 years. The the thumb looked good I was doing well and life was good.

Then one day in May I woke up and the thumb was a little tender and by the time the week was out I would be in urgent care and then a hand specialist. Why because not keeping a band aid on that little bitty scratch that was healing so good; that I cleaned daily with alcohol.  I still touched a door handle, shook a hand or touched something in my travels that had the MRSA bacteria on it. And it took off in my little bitty thumb. With that being said by the time I made it to the hand specialist, it had abscessed, and hurt and trust me when I say the thumb no longer went to my body.

So here I am now having minor surgery cleaning out the abscess and being put on 3 different antibiotics over the next several months to clean out the infection.  And although it was healing it just would not go away. What happens next is because of the meds I start feeling like junk and because of the minor surgery couldn't work the thumb so I then started losing my training and working out schedule. Once the thumb healed and the wound closed.  I started back..

But things just were not right.  Something just wasn't working. So finally they ordered an MRI to see what is going on with this on going saga.  Here a little bitty wound in April now is in July and still stirring up problems. And don't you know just when I am looking good and everything else was feeling good. That wonderful little wound of the thumb actually turned into MRSA in the thumb joint bone.  Better known as Osteomyelitis! I would say it can only happen to me but now that they have me in getting antibiotic therapy treatments with two major meds for the next six weeks twice a day for 2 hours each visit. So during these times of treatments I have met several people treated for this once super bug bacteria would only be acquired through hospital visits or nursing homes.

Which is so not true anymore in the year 2010.But that doesn't surprise me.  The world is a mess; from gushing oil into our oceans, wars in many corners of the world from military to drug..  So why wouldn't there be super bacteria that has invaded every place we touch, breath or go near. And why not me; to be one of the growing population to have a stupid little scratch healed over with bacteria inside waiting to rot my bones and kill me if I don't take care of it.     It may sound much! But it is.. If this next six weeks does not cure the issue then the hand specialist will have to go in twice into the thumb joint.  Once to scrape and drain the issue. And the second to fuse the joint and bone back together.

So my prayers is that this treatment works.   And share a very valuable simple lesson.  If you ever have any open wounds anywhere on your body.  Always keep them covered until they are gone.


WHAT IS MRSA What Is MRSA? Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) is a bacterium that causes infections in different parts of the body. It's tougher to treat than most strains of staphylococcus aureus -- or staph -- because it's resistant to some commonly used antibiotics.

The symptoms of MRSA depend on where you're infected. Most often, it causes mild infections on the skin, causing sores or boils. But it can also cause more serious skin infections or infect surgical wounds, the bloodstream, the lungs, or the urinary tract. Though most MRSA infections aren't serious, some can be life-threatening. Many public health experts are alarmed by the spread of tough strains of MRSA. Because it's hard to treat, MRSA is sometimes called a "super bug." A Closer Look at MRSA What Causes MRSA?Garden-variety staph are common bacteria that can live on our bodies. Plenty of healthy people carry staph without being infected by it. In fact, 25%-30% of us have staph bacteria in our noses. But staph can be a problem if it manages to get into the body, often through a cut. Once there, it can cause an infection. Staph is one of the most common causes of skin infections in the U.S. Usually, these are minor and don't need special treatment. Less often, staph can cause serious problems like infected wounds or pneumonia. Staph can usually be treated with antibiotics. But over the decades, some strains of staph -- like MRSA -- have become resistant to antibiotics that once destroyed it. MRSA was first discovered in 1961. It's now resistant to methicillin, amoxicillin, penicillin, oxacillin, and many other antibiotics.While some antibiotics still work, MRSA is constantly adapting. Researchers developing new antibiotics are having a tough time keeping up. Who Gets MRSA?MRSA is spread by contact. So you could get MRSA by touching another person who has it on the skin. Or you could get it by touching objects that have the bacteria on them. MRSA is carried, or "colonized," by about 1% of the population, although most of them aren't infected. MRSA infections are common among people who have weak immune systems and are in hospitals, nursing homes, and other heath care centers. Infections can appear around surgical wounds or invasive devices, like catheters or implanted feeding tubes. Rates of infection in hospitals, especially intensive care units, are rising throughout the world. In U.S. hospitals, MRSA causes more than 60% of staph infections. Community-Associated MRSA (CA-MRSA)But MRSA is also showing up in healthy people who have not been living in the hospital. This type of MRSA is called community-associated MRSA, or CA-MRSA. The CDC reports that in 2007, 14% of people with MRSA infections had CA-MRSA. Studies have shown that rates of CA-MRSA infection are growing fast. One study of children in south Texas found that cases of CA-MRSA had a 14-fold increase between 1999 and 2001.CA-MRSA skin infections have been identified among certain populations that share close quarters or experience more skin-to-skin contact. Examples are team athletes, military recruits, and prison inmates. However, more and more CA-MRSA infections are being seen in the general community as well, especially in certain geographic regions. It's also infecting much younger people. In a study of Minnesotans published in The Journal of the American Medical Association, the average age of people with MRSA in a hospital or healthcare facility was 68. But the average age of a person with CA-MRSA was only 23.


Well Thanks for reading and I hope this saga is helpful or you have gained some awareness. As I thought I knew all there was to know, and my normal germaphob self had everything under control. Guess I was fooled, this round. And who knows what is next but it is in God's hands and what ever path he carries me down. I will deal with. But sure hope I finished with this one.

2010-Thoughts of the day (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Thoughts of the day during today's message speaking on true repentance.

Fear of judgment secludes the opportunity to live, laugh, grow, and love in all relationships.

A knife piercing the heart is the pain, when our children or loved one's fall and become trapped. And we can not get close enough to pull them back on track.

To cry so hard; nothing comes out!

Torn in pieces that will never fit back where they started.
is where one door closes and a new is opened wide if we dare take what we have and walk through.

Transparency is the key to peace of mind.

I will always fall short in deserving any of the glory of God!

2010-Then and Now (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Though I may not know where I may end up before my time ends in this world; I shall never forget where I have been. Clearly knowing all the good things I have accomplished; yet always working to never repeat the mishaps I have been in or contributed to. Though I will never be perfect; but I will always do my best to hold fast to what is good and pure. Moving one step forward at a time. Thanking God for the love; the mercy and all my friends and family that give me strength to continue moving forward. Yet even this day the struggles some days to just give up and give in. I have always been like everyone else; yet so different. And again giving thanks for freedom of choice and the will to serve, and try doing what brings light around me. Instead of being consumed by the darkness of what is all so easy. The truth hurts at times and I personally have lived with many pains in this life. Pains I caused myself; pains that were just part of my childhood. Pains of those who I left behind when I came to Christ. But these pains allow me to grow daily, in Him and with my family and friends. Living; Learning; Loving.
Knowing this is all temporary. And I dare to work towards what is positive and good; and will struggle until my days end.

For I was blessed to come to this place called earth;
I was blessed to be what we call Human!

Though I may not know where I may end up before my time ends in this world; I shall never forget where I have been.

But I give all glory and thanks to the son Jesus Christ. Because I would be nothing if it were never for his sacrafice, Nothing if it were not for Him!


5-30-2010 kelly fairfield

2010 - Doing Time written by By Joe Murphy doing Time

DOING TIME

CLOSE YOUR EYES AND IMAGINE THIS.........

IMAGINE A PLACE WHERE TIME DOESN'T EXIST.........

IMAGINE A PLACE WHERE YOUR HEART AND SOUL ARE CONFINED.....

AND THE ONLY THING YOU DO.. IS TIME!

IMAGINE A PLACE WHERE YOU HAD TO LEAVE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BEHIND, AND YOU FEEL THE
REAL MEANING OF OUT OF SIGHT AND OUT OF MIND.....

IMAGINE A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN ONLY BE MISSED, AND ONLY IN YOUR DREAMS CAN YOU GIVE THE ONE YOU LOVE A KISS.....

IMAGINE A PLACE WHRE YOU HOPE FOR A VISIT, AND PRAY FOR SOME MAIL; AND MONTHS PASS BY WITH NO AVAIL......


IMAGINE LOOING FOWARD TO THE END OF ANOTHER DAY; AND NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY; NOTHING EVER GOES YOUR WAY....

IMAGINE A PLACE FULL OF SO MUCH VIOLANCE AND HATE, AND GOD ONLY KNOWS YOUR ONE TRUE FATE......


IMAGINE A PLACE SO DARK AND SO COLD, AND YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN PUT ON HOLD.....

NOW IF YOU U CAN PICTURE ALL THIS IN YOUR MIND? THEN YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO IMAGINE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE....

TO DO TIME.......4-13-2010 BY JOE MURPHY DOING TIME

Joseph Murphy U27740 B2
103L
3222 Doc Witfield Road
Wewachitchka Fl. 32465

2010-Never enough time! (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

There is never enough time for people you love and care about.
And as long as these lungs of mine, suck air to sustain my life.

It will never get easy to see family and friends for brief periods of time to then have to say good bye and not know if or when you will ever see them again.


I thank God daily for every opportunity I have, just as I know that people do not come into my life for no reason.

No matter if they are good, bad or just different.


There is always something to learn and use to build memories.


I guess this is why I relate to music so often. Every song has it’s own story.
While for the most part any good song touches those parts of the story that are the living experiences you have went through or are going through.

Taking them and putting good sound and instruments to them is passion to one’s soul.

Those that keep you moving;
Those that bring tears to your eyes;
Those that make you yearn to hold on to your loved one ever so tight.


Yet the ultimate are those that trigger the love of Jesus and all that he has carried you through, when you lost sight.


These past couple weeks have been indescribable.

My grandfather died 2 weeks before my 48th birthday. In which I flew back to NY for the funeral.

This opportunity allowed me to see aunts, uncles and cousins that I have not seen some in 20 plus years.

Allowed me time with my beloved son and meeting in person the love of his life.
What a beautiful young lady she is. The Lord has placed my heart at rest knowing he is not alone through any of the trials he is to walk through. That he has a delightful caring friend at his side.

Yet at the same time, feeling the heart break seeing the pain my mother was going through, losing her father. Triggering wonderment as to what will happen with my mother. As she has filled her life with stuff to not be alone, and her entire home is packed full of just stuff, that really has no meaning.

Triggering thoughts in my own life, of how long I filled my own life with just stuff, people and actions that really just were there to fill a void and had no meaning.

Until I gave my life over to God and was reborn did I ever gain peace of mind.

But that is an entire different story line.

These past two weeks, had they occurred 10 – 15 years ago. I would not have handled any of this well or in a supportive manner. I would have been stressed and masked everything with excuses and drinking or something.


Yet so melancholy life is what it is.

I must have truly lost my mind; where else does life just happen and gets little reaction from me these days.

Instead of being sucked in, I choose to continue to look for where I can hopefully assist and bless others. I am no saint.. Just never wanting to give up my peace of mind again.

So I came back from a week in NY with little sleep, went back to work and took two more days off.

One for dental work to finish up the crowns that were way over due.

The day after to go see my once best friend, lover and what became my project to help him through. Would get me through all of the failures I was enduring at that stage of my life. We had not see each other for 12 years because of life happening.

But when it happened back then it ripped me to pieces. I was torn, hurt, angry, worried and knew I would never see him again.

Yet 12 years later we crossed paths, for us both to find we are not who we once were.

He lost everything in his self – destructive mission. Although it didn’t start out that way.

He got caught up with that whole grass is greener on the other side, and once I realized I pushed him away as far as I possibly could.

In this process the struggles with addictions and habits turned full blown and he almost lost his life. He did loss contact with everyone and lived on the streets for 2 years. Yet somehow God spared him!

During the twelve years I went through my own life happens.
Drugs, alcohol, really bad relationships. The cycle went on for some time until one day I just had enough.

Remembering a few years prior I had given my life to the Lord but just never fully acted on it and it was time.

Once I made that admission my life changed forever and I have been living for all that is good and serving for Christ where I can.

And now 13 years later not only am I blessed to see people I love dearly. But something is happening.

I do not know how to explain it, but so many people I care about are hurting, sick, dying.

Yet they are being put in my path, to share all I have. Just a few moments of my day.

Be it for coffee, a ride, just a chat, a walk, or even a few words out online.

There never really seems to be enough time in my day to do all I want to do.

And most days I feel what little I do, or say doesn’t add up to much.

But like on my birthday this year. So many people I care for made sure to send me a message, a note, a call or even little surprises of just wishing me well and blessings.

Which to me meant more then anything I could ever fill my life with that will not go with me when it is my turn to go home.


I don’t know how I feel about these past couple of weeks? Happy, sad most importantly blessed and know I need to make every moment count. Even when there will never be enough time in any day.

And that I am very thankful for these moments that I have been given. Even if there are no words to say. I am thankful

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly
   

2010-Alcohol and Drug Abuse Hurts Everyone (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Dependence on alcohol and drugs is our most
serious national public health problem. It is
prevalent among rich and poor, in all regions of
the country, and all ethnic and social groups.
Millions of Americans misuse or are dependent
on alcohol or drugs. Most of them have families
who suffer the consequences, often serious, of
living with this illness. If there is alcohol or drug
dependence in your family, remember you are
not alone.
Most individuals who abuse alcohol or drugs
have jobs and are productive members of society
creating a false hope in the family that “it’s not
that bad.”
The problem is that addiction tends to worsen
over time, hurting both the addicted person and
all the family members. It is especially damaging
to young children and adolescents.
People with this illness really may believe that
they drink normally or that “everyone” takes
drugs. These false beliefs are called denial; this
denial is a part of the illness.


It Doesn’t Have to be That Way
Drug or alcohol dependence disorders are
medical conditions that can be effectively
treated. Millions of Americans and their families
are in healthy recovery from this disease.
If someone close to you misuses alcohol or
drugs, the first step is to be honest about the
problem and to seek help for yourself, your
family, and your loved one.
Treatment can occur in a variety of settings, in
many different forms, and for different lengths
of time. Stopping the alcohol or drug use is the
first step to recovery, and most people need help
to stop. Often a person with alcohol or drug
dependence will need treatment provided by
professionals just as with other diseases. Your
doctor may be able to guide you.
“What is Substance Abuse
Treatment? A Booklet for
Families” - was written especially
for family members and is available
through SAMHSA’s National
Helpline 1-800-662-HELP.




Family Intervention Can Start the Healing
Getting a loved one to agree to accept help, and
finding support services for all family members
are the first steps toward healing for the addicted
person and the entire family.
When an addicted person is reluctant to seek
help, sometimes family members, friends, and
associates come together out of concern and
love, to confront the problem drinker. They
strongly urge the person to enter treatment and
list the serious consequences of not doing so,
such as family breakup or job loss.
This is called “intervention.” When carefully
prepared and done with the guidance of a
competent, trained specialist, the family, friends
and associates are usually able to convince their
loved one – in a firm and loving manner – that
the only choice is to accept help and begin the
road to recovery.
People with alcohol or drug dependence
problems can and do recover. Intervention is
often the first step.

2010-Children Need Help Too!(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Children in families experiencing alcohol
or drug abuse need attention, guidance and
support. They may be growing up in homes in
which the problems are either denied or
covered up.
These children need to have their experiences
validated. They also need safe, reliable adults
in whom to confide and who will support
them, reassure them, and provide them with
appropriate help for their age. They need to
have fun and just be kids.

Families with alcohol and drug problems usually
have high levels of stress and confusion. High
stress family environments are a risk factor for
early and dangerous substance use, as well as
mental and physical health problems.


It is important to talk honestly with children
about what is happening in the family and to
help them express their concerns and feelings.
Children need to trust the adults in their lives
and to believe that they will support them.

Children living with alcohol or drug abuse in
the family can benefit from participating in
educational support groups in their school
student assistance programs. Those age 11
and older can join Alateen groups, which meet
in community settings and provide healthy
connections with others coping with similar
issues. Being associated with the activities of a
faith community can also help.


Resources for Information and Help
There is help available in your local community.
Look in the Yellow Pages under Alcoholism
for treatment programs and self-help groups.
Call your county health department and ask
for licensed treatment programs in your
community. Keep trying until you find the
right help for your loved one, yourself and your
family. Ask a family therapist for a referral to a
trained interventionist or, call the Intervention


Resource Center at 1-888-421-4321.
Self-Help Groups
Al-Anon Family Groups
www.al-anon.org
Alateen
www.alateen.org
Alcoholics Anonymous
www.aa.org
Adult Children of Alcoholics
www.adultchildren.org
For a pastoral counseling center in your
community, visit www.aapc.org
For More Information
SAMHSA’s National Helpline
1-800-662-HELP
www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov
National Association for Children
of Alcoholics
www.nacoa.org
National Council on Alcoholism and
Drug Dependence
www.ncadd.org
Alcohol and
Drug Addiction
Happens in the
Best of Families
…and It Hurts
It doesn’t have to be that way

2010-We All Need a Savior (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Everyone who know's me, knows I have a huge heart when it comes to service or those in need.

First of all I Thank Jesus every day and especially yesterday for the outpouring of birthday wishes from the many family and friends, as I wish I could have been with each and everyone of them. I am blessed beyond more then words can ever describe. And for this I can never give enough priase or service in His our precious Fathers name.

On the same token; God allows me to know, see and be touched by people from all walks of life. I had no originating big plans to do a road trip on Wednesday to Cocoa beach. Yet about a week out, it just started turning out that way.

I was blessed with seeing people I knew for years and cared deeply about after almost 13 years of losing touch.

But I was also blessed by seeing first hand how many people truly need prayer and peace in their lives. Cocoa Beach is absolutely beautiful, yet surrounded by many that are homeless and living in, on and around the beach.

The way of life in and around the beach are these people trying to find a $1.00 not for food, but to go to one of the many local bars, because this is all they have.

I talked to many of these people yesterday. As when you know people who live in the middle of such environments. They become part of a family looking out for each other. Kind of like Christians are supposed to look out for each other.

I can tell you, "They are people too, they started out one day or evening just as we do!" They have hearts, pains, joys love.

I don't know what happened along their travels. I just know my prayer and I ask prayer partners that you too lift up all who are down on their luck, all that are lost and needy.

I do have an issue when we fill our lives with drugs and/or alcohol. I have a problem we have so many lost and don't see that the drugs and alcohol is only what makes issues or makes them worse. I have an issue we have so many lost and needy people out in the world. And it is only going to continue to grow.

I ask for Prayer for that the will of God touches this community; and all others that are hit so hard in these economic times. Praying people see just how blessed they truly are and instead of giving their brother or sister a buck for a beer they somehow make a postive impact to help change this bleak situation.

I pray my brothers and sisters that have made it up and out. Know how loved and blessed they are and all they have to offer. They are worth more then anything material this world can bring.

I feel the joy I am blessed to know that we all fall down, yet with faith we hold tight and climb back out of the ruts this world throws us in.


Lord we all in this human race need a savior; and you know we need your mercy and grace to ever survive.


So as I placed this note out on the prayer list for fellow partners to pray.
And a friend noted this sounds more like a blog then a request.

I give it to you Father God; for all who read this know, we are all in need of a savior and forever continued prayers of your mercy and grace.

Thank you 
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

2010_This Life(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

I would never wish or act to change who I am this day!

Nor would I ever change any of the experiences or people I have been blessed with in this life.

I have laughed, cried, couldn't get enough, and wished at times I could die.

Loved so hard I thought I would; tried so hard never accepted when I could not.

Seen more before being a teen then most see their lifetime.

Avoided more mishaps and so many things that could have left me trapped.

Who knows why; for me for you. It doesn't really matter. As you are no judge of me, nor I of you in what you do.

I just know who I have to call out to.


I have to believe! I could go for hours and give you life stories why.

I have to believe! Because it has a far greater peace, then the drama, tears and lies.


I don't know where I am going. I do know where I have been.

Loving every soul time over time again. That will never change although we may never again meet.

You will forever be in my heart and a forever called my friend.

Life happens; For all of us it does. Noting you have to work to hold what is good, this is so true.

Sure I am not fool; I may not care of what was. But I do limit where I now actively become involved.

I am doing the best I can; with all I get to work with.
And I am so very okay with this. Because without all of it, the yesterdays, today's and notions for tomorrow.

I would have missed my blessings, my children, my life and never made it to being me; alwaysmeKelly!

And for this; I thank my maker; the passion of our Christ.

Who knows if it was that movie that forever changed my life.

I can only tell you. Each and everyone of us will find our own time when the peace comes in their life..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcGJb-mPMmg




With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

2010 Passing Thought(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Who would have ever thought the things you put far behind you;
You realize were a blessing.

The waking screaming nightmare that woke the entire house.
Was the reality of the demons being set free that once tortured you as a child.

Yet years later you realize the person you were the most comfortable with.
as well as yourself just had too much going on to notice what was trying to be set free.

Thank you for loving me my father; God of the universe. For giving me life.

Good, bad; known and unknown.

There is so much I could write about. Desires of the future; lost loves of the past. Happiness of children; sadness when they are grown and you are all alone.

I can only say the joy comes in the morning. May I always remain strong and keep moving forward. No matter what is in the next dawn.

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

2010-HOUSING CRISIS!(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

I refinanced my home of 10 years in 2006 - a fixed for 2 years then arm.

My plan was to refi to a fixed.

Noting all monies went back into the home, paid bills and supported my daughter and granddaughter.

In 2007 I had a major unexpected heart surgery. My entire life, finances were changed immediately. I tried for 2 years starting the same week I came home from the hospital, to get the mortgage company to just allow me to make payments every 2 weeks so I would have enough money to pay bills, buy my meds and pay for the continued doctors care I was under.

They told me if I wanted to change my payment I needed to be refinanced. with that I went everywhere including trying to be remodified for 2 years. Getting ripped off from the first company New Hope Modifications and the second company Save My Home USA although got very little out of me, must of also been a scam because they were shut down.


I went to local banks and did not qualify, my house was too upside down and no one would ever refinance it; much less now my credit with all the extra financial burdens my credit after years of fixing and protecting was shot!

When I fell behind because the loan now at an 11.25% subject to rise to 16% interest and Litton Loan Company would not accept the bi weekly payments even when they were getting more.


Well one day when I came home from work I found a stack of papers on my table, where my daughters friend who was visiting signed for them..Duh!!! What are you doing in my house signing for anything that does not pertain to you?

Well besides that shock, Litton Loan started the forclosure process on me September 2009.


I found myself slowly feeling the stress and pains of everything I worked for falling out from under me.

Issues of a 1974 built home continued to surface, from plumbing to electrical.

Pool issues; Oh how can I maintain, and pay and live? Why will the loan company not work with me. I have a good job, I am willing I just need a little assistance.

Well when I started feeling sick; and my health put me borderline of a heart attack I couldn't sleep, I was doing everything I could handle it. Yet internally the blessing of making it through major surgery to keep me alive would soon be a memory.

I couldn't take it anymore. I moved out 10-2009 of my home after 10 years of blood, sweat and tears and obtained a realtor that the Loan company was working with to do a short sale. Of course nothing is moving in today's environment.

There have been a handful of interested viewers, but no offers but the actual realitor offering cash. But Litton said that was far too low.

Here there are people that I know that have been living in their homes for 2+ years not paying a dime; and not once been served or made a payment.


And here I work 7 days a week, wanted to make my payments and was 3 months behind, with a stack full of medical documentation proving I was not just a dead beat and Litton is expediting the foreclosure or acquiring the place back on 3-29-2010 so they can sell it in foreclosure.

In the mean time my credit is trashed, my heart was broken; but I thank God daily for all that is temporary will mean nothing in the next life.

Although I no longer have the security I once felt. Knowing it doesn't matter what you really come from, or where you take your day to day.

If that wave of misfortune slams you. I pray you are strong enough to swim up.
Because our state and government will not be there to give you a hand and assist no matter your age, race, creed, culture or anything else they may judge with.

Did I mention yes I sent many letters to our local government officials over the 2 year process. I made phone calls sent letters, sent proof of all that I had gone through. To Litton, To congress, to home re-modification programs, to banks. And all they could do is refer me to a credit counseling center with apologies.it got me was wore out and the big fat SORRY. Well hello! I have no credit debt.. I have hospital, doctors, student loan, car and once a mortgage.

The moral of this story; Plan for all that could go wrong! Don't think you can handle thing, Or that our state and government will assist you in a crisis. Know that your friends and family and neighbors are also going through stuff. And can not be expected to bail you out of choices you made thinking you had everything under control.

But most importantly... If you don't have a relationship with Jesus; GET ONE! Because in the end Prayer, Faith and Hope is all there is to see you through day to day.

Thanks

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

2009-2010-Acknowledgments of the Heart (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Over the past few days coming towards the end of the year.

I looked around feeling the pains of all those things I thought I could do on my own.
That turned out all wrong.

Tears in my eyes so much more often then I ever wanted I won't lie.

Filthy rich according to foreign standards and a beautiful job that exercises the mind.

Yet financially destroyed after so many labored hours, because alone I did not ask for his guidance. Instead me cruising that highway bitter sweet yet striving.

For what in the end. I ask myself now holding on to God's hand.

For I am loved at a distance but without Him.

I have nothing, no one who really knows or cares who I am.

The last few days of 2009, So often the tricks of the mind almost broke me.
Wondering how I got stuck in this lie.

Digging deeper the pains feeling the failures of parent hood that had rose.
Two beautiful children one can not hold on to the need of a future, staying on that long dark road. The other I hardly see, yet conversations state he is holding his own.

Remembering when I thought I would die time and time again.
And how I would pray to Our God to just let me see that they are grown.

Then one day my prayers change to the grandchild that has come along.

Blessings from above all children are. They never ask to be here. Yet our loneliness, selfishness, need to live are given the right.

No one can ever tell you exactly what the blessing brings. As it is only from above, something so out of reach so out of sight.

I never planned my life would be where it is today.

Sure I have it going on; the surface allows me to vent all my desires all my needs.
Giving back to anyone in God's needs.

Or at least so I try to please.

Staying so busy so I don't have to think.

Yet when you are in love with someone so far out of reach.

There is nothing more you can do. But emotionally bleed.

Cut's so deep, the love just oozes in a slow painful smolder.

Just knowing they will never be your crying shoulder.


The Lord has blessed me in this life. Walking me out of darkness so many times, leaving me to choose that great divide.

I love my Lord, Jesus Christ the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
He has my soul and will never let go.

Yet although I finally got it after so many test trials.
I go down with the best of them. Feeling what is missed in the flesh. Feeling all those things I take so personal, such as choices a child makes. Thinking about the healing and giving of life, cervical cancer, four hour heart surgery. How does my God know what to do, how does he know what is like. When will I gain is full purpose for my life. I think how stupid I have been a time or two. Knowing he has me right where I should be at least how I convince myself from loneliness blues.

I love life more then myself at times.
I love people all colors, all sizes all personalities even in these times.

I love that special someone, a man after Gods own heart. Yet to say he even notices me is truly the horse before the cart.


My family, my friends when I walk out these doors.
I can't wait for heaven where there will not even be walls anymore.

I don't know where or what tomorrow will bring.
I do know I make efforts to never let go of those whom I have been blessed with in the yesterdays, todays or even tonight's.

No matter where their heart is wrong or right.
My prayers are daily they may soon all see through God's eyes.

So no matter how sad I feel alone in time.
No matter how many tears I can't hold back when those people I love move over to the promise land. I pray as the song my strength that comes from him truly will allow me to Rise when he calls my name. That I may never give up or in; to what is temporary. No matter what it is that I am missing.

May I continue to love at a distance. And be given the spirit to acknowledge if my time is ever given. I recognize the signs so I do not miss him again.

So prayerfully I share the goodbyes to 2009. Opening to 2010 my heart, my arms and eyes.

Prayers for those who are close and so sick and I know are soon to die.

Prayers for those thinking they can get a piece of what I have in this ride, knowing it is their own fools game, wondering why they even try.

Prayers for those that are new sharing their journeys to my eyes. May their experiences bless more then a passing moment in their life.

Prayers who continually tell me to keep getting that religion. When they are so far off, may they sometime feel the peace in my relationship with Him I have been given.

Prayers for those Lord who lost what they seem to be their entire life. They partners, their careers, their everything it's just not right. May they be blessed with your new love.

May I continue to be your child Lord Jesus Christ. May I learn to accept the blessings of your beacon of light.

May I share all that is good. May Lord my hearts desires be fully handled by your site.

May you accept my thanks for all I have been blessed with and to do, for others seeing the joy on their face. May that joy expand to more then just my heart's place.

Crazy I am, I was, I will always be. Be it 2009 or 2010 I am always just me.


With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly