Music pulled
from https://www.youtube.com/ and
are free for public consumption**** Bible Verses pulled from https://www.biblegateway.com/ unless noted
otherwise and are free for public
consumption**** (NIV -New International Version, NKJV-New King
James Version, AMP -Amplified Version, TPT-The Passion Translation)
Date: Saturday July 24, 2021
Meditation
Opportunities - Biblegateway.com Daily Verse
Psalm
112:5 (EXB - EXPANDED BIBLE)
5 It is good to be
·merciful [gracious] and ·generous [to lend].
Those who ·are fair in their
business [conduct their affairs justly]
(YouTube.Com) New
song for me for the day~
Joseph O'Brien -
Give Up On Love
Motivation Movers
& Touches to the Soul (YouTube.Com)
Andy Gibb - I Just
Want to Be Your Everything
Kirk Franklin -
Wanna Be Happy?
Talking To Jesus -
Elevation Worship & Maverick City Music
Aaron Cole - LIKE
YOU (feat. Tauren Wells & TobyMac)
Micah Tyler -
Never Been a Moment
Needtobreathe -
Streets of Gold
Daily Journal/Thoughts/
Prayers (Thinking out
loud)
Most people chase happiness,
and I am no different. I run the
distance trying to stay away from anything that is going to bring negative impacts. Be it someone going off or just negative. Most cases though I end up in the thick of
it when people convince me they need help in some way, shape or form. I guess growing up with absolutely nothing
and never knowing where you will be or what will happen when you get there you
become a softy and sucker at times for those who run a good game.
From trying to help
those struggling with addictions to get on their feet and make a difference and
save them from their selves. To helping people,
get started with their so-called businesses to really learn people don’t care
or have respect for what they do not work for.
Family, Friends,
strangers. I learned over time that it
was the deep joy that no matter what was to be around or with me that I needed
to grip tight and never let go. Not
temporary happiness for me or be the fixer or rescue ranger for anyone else.
When you do people
will zone in on your good heart and intentions and absolutely drain you for their
own personal gains. Most times
although they know what they do; it never started out that way. They got lost along the way and are not so
consumed all they know is to feed the demons they consume others with. And most times they will play you out and
tie your heart strings all up in knots.
Be it using children, sad stories, or even endless promises of change
for themselves and even using that love and appreciation and need card.
We can blame it on
generations not being the same. They say
we have a generation of entitlements right now. Maybe but really all it is are those who in
previous generations that came up hard with nothing that had to work for
everything they have just to eat and survive allowing their feelings to be too
helpful and becoming enablers or just too damn tired to fight the fight any longer,
so they give in or turn their backs all together.
I remember early on
my career I threw away so much time, hard work and efforts on so many in need
all the while although I was present for my family. I was buying them every thing I never
had. From sitting around a table and
making sure there was meal we ate together to any and all material things they wanted
or said they needed. Working multiple
jobs making sure we lived in nice homes and even family trips. Lost oh yeah it was me against the world
when in the IT world we know it’s the biggest rollercoaster ride of your life when
you can be replaced in the blink of an eye as the companies are reorganizing
and changing, they outsource, streamline and many other things.
Never having
anything from knowledge of being taught how to plan or good investments. When that hit my house, we were devastated me
being that only soul doing, being and giving.
And no not with expectation. It
was just something I thought I was supposed to be doing. Even the husband I was married to took. In fact, I was so busy with work and loving
them as a person I forgot to be in love and see all the signs they were taking
what should have went back into our family and put into another of his
own. When they say best friends should
never marry. They are correct never
marry your best bud that you hang out with all the time and you know all their
habits, because what they did for 20 years growing up is not going to change
just because you two really love being around each other being a unit or the
pretense of being well. It does not
always work out. Soulmate. Hmmmmm, I thank God every day he opened my
eyes and allowed me to meet Jesus to teach me what evenly yoked means and what
it truly means to connect in spirit in soul without all that other stuff that blinds
us. At least until it does.
Do you know what it
is like to grow up without loving doting parents, or even in a home where its
not a struggle. Sorry if you do; but
prayerfully it made you a stronger, better person to know you are not where you
came from or anything that happens to you.
I personally don’t
want to give up on love. In fact,
knowing who you belong to; well knowing those boundaries and walking the walk
with them does not stop you from being hooked on the whispers in the dark or dreams
looking through that blurred vision.
But when you quickly realize the whispers and tell you hear are just
that you know that once you gave yourself away and how it turned out. You wait for that more that Christ Jesus
intended for you to have.
Funny growing up
with Michael Jackson and dreaming over I’ll be there, or Donny and puppy love
and all those childish girl dreams. Or
how Bread and diary and all those things at even a very young age had me
dreaming. Yet growing up through the
70’s, 80’s and forward life teaches you so much. For so long just wanting to be someone’s
everything filling that gap of never having what is missed when the family unit
is broken.
But you know what
does not kill you only makes you stronger.
Even if sometimes you forget you are smart and let your guard and boundaries
down.
When you meet Jesus
and cling to him all those voids and life itself changes filling voids you
never new you had. That is a fact. Although I never want to let go of that
deep joy and peace that has consumed me in my years. I just want my family, friends, and people
in general at the very least to be happy and beyond healthy. Always have always will.
For me to have the
ability to keep getting back up; I just keep talking to Jesus. Thankful even if I never really knew who. I know that somewhere along the line someone
prayed for me. And if there is nothing
else in this world I can do. I can give
all I am for Jesus to hear the prayers
for those who want, know, and need him too.
Truly believing and not just saying words means everything. If you don’t have the words to say call upon
the Lord to hear your heart. Invite him
into your spirit and lead you. We are
all children of God. Not everyone hears
the calling, and many choose darkness and negativity over light. Be it unintentionally or not.
You may not think I
care at times but deep down inside I do.
No matter what my No is for or my no longer talking about what just does
not make sense.
Although I am
always me and grateful for being allowed to be.
There is no doubt I want to be more like Jesus with abundant mercy, grace,
and love without giving in and giving away any parts to what is temporary or
just fallacies or something we watch in the movies. When things are supposed to work out its
balanced even if it’s a little hard work on one side or the other in the end it
balances out.
In relationships to
work there has to be balance. There has
to be real communication and no matter work, romance, family, love, or business
it takes truth, loyalty and respect and the courage and want to get up every
single day to be authentic. Some days
the scales may lean but when it is really meant to be it will not be a continual
take or unbalanced effort. Actions or
the lack of will always prove the destinations outcome.
And though I was
there trying to find that dream and make it come true unfortunately it was empty
on the other side once the truth revealed itself. So be it what it may. When God showed me the way into the light
even if all these years later, I still sometimes find myself lost in believing
worldly people, places, and things.
Never for a moment will I ever be alone or on my own again.
Love life,
absolutely even when I get tired of everything falling around me. God has already won the war, even though the
battles rage among the nations and even within us, within me.
And yes, that story
book ending still gets my attention. Words
just are that imagination of what could be pouring out, or reminiscence of what
was.
Many logical, many
foolish either way unless it is unchanged and backed by the truth in actions
what does any of it matter anyway.
I know right. Sounds pretty down when I just want to shine
even a flicker and keep growing forward.
Sometimes the truth hurts so bad it rips us apart. But when we know where our strength comes
from and what we really want in life in the end it is well worth the journey
when we may not have things here and now.
With Jesus in our next life there will be no more pain or sorrow. It won’t matter who judged us here and
now. It won’t matter for those who
believe in God and his Son Jesus what we look like as there will be no more
judgement as the world compares. So,
what if I may be wrong according to your thoughts and choices.
If I am its on
me. But if I am right there no greater
loss for those who did not call upon Jesus to change here and now to meet Him on
the other side on the streets of gold just waiting for you.
So, for now no
matter how much I dream, want or do.
Until it is right there in front of me.
It just cannot be.
Meditation
Opportunities Daily Devotion @Jesus Calling 365 Devotions with Real-Life Stories @Sarah Young)
“I have placed a door between you and Me, and I have empowered you to open
or close that door. There are many ways
to open it, but a grateful attitude is one of the most effective.”
Psalm 100:4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his
courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.
Psalm 31:14 But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my
God.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is
Gods’ will for you in Christ Jesus.
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