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Date: Wednesday November – 10th
Movers Motivations
& Touches to the Soul (YouTube.Com)
Hollyn - i wasn't
enough for you
Brandon Heath -
I'm Not Who I Was
Tasha Cobbs
Leonard - Break Every Chain
Cochren & Co.
- Don't Lose Hope
Thought Movers, Motivations Touching to the Soul coming from YouTube.com
Some things
will always be with you but never be the same. As I took the ride into the
office after 19months yesterday to work awhile before I cleared out my desk and
just reflected with some friends and co-workers I have not seen in a very long
time outside the screen.
Everything
even when none of it makes sense has purpose and change well it is inevitable. No matter who we are or where we come from.
Together
or separated we will see the light at the other end if we believe and keep
looking up.
Death
lost its sting when Jesus took ALL the pain and sufferings of this world. I just pray that He does not have to relive
that torment over and over again for a falling world and our inadequacies or wrong
doings that transpire every single day, every single moment somewhere by
someone.
We will
never be enough, do enough or anything enough to deserve the blessings of
life. I know there is not a 24/7 period
I don’t screw up or forget to acknowledge all I have instead of what I may have
lost or don’t have and wish I would of, I could of!
The
saving grace is I am not held to the fire for the demons I choose to feed any
given day; that is unless I choose to stay in the feeding frenzy zone.
We get
to choose and remember what we want to fill the space up in our heads, our
hearts. And what we choose to speak out and live out. Looking back, looking forward
to what we do not know even if we think we have it all worked out and lined up.
But
what happens when things out of our control take over, or people change and no
longer or reflect who you just did not see?
Endless
promises so many broken pieces that we allow to cut us and bleed out all over while
slowly going cold. Or do we look past them and create a beautiful mosaic out of
what was and remember just how good it is on the other side knowing there will
always be something more than we deserve in and with Christ?
Well
for me I called out, argued, and still remember the first day life was beyond hard,
and I knew I had to choose to live or totally quit and leave. That I screamed out at God and asked him what
you want from me. Nothing I did, nothing
I consumed, nothing I was even though I was rocking it and had it together in
the world’s eyes fed my soul. Broken
beyond compare and so lost in what I could not understand knowing the why or
having the control to change any of it.
Had my business, was rocking out 100K a year and was surrounded by all
these people having fun that were supposed to care.
Yet I
was beyond empty and when I stopped playing into it, everyone and everything
changed.
That
is not when I committed to meet Jesus. In fact, that was just the beginning of
many unanswered questions being reflected with why’s and the direction of
losing myself to find the real me and knowing that no matter if I am not okay
or worthy in the world’s eyes. I am in
the eyes of God. I certainly am not who
I was. I am not that one that carried the career and had it together but
thought I needed others to fulfil what I never had.
Or anyone trying to own, or control who I was
supposed to be. Or for that matter anything I had achieved.
Mores o, the fact that no matter what I gave
it was never enough and always flawed so much that I had to be suppressed and
degraded when I questioned or what I thought was dream out loud.
The
day I realized there is so much more to life when you love people for who they
are and not what they do or what they have.
But more importantly when you break the chains and only allow those to
love you for who you are and not what you have or do.
We all
live and die and sometimes in the life we are given we are so hell bent on
living for what we think means something that we kill ourselves before ever
realizing to truly live we must die to ourselves and find life in the maker of the
universe through Christ Jesus.
We all
get to choose; we all believe in something and no matter what it is in the end
we all came in this world and we all will live. The difference is where will
our soul be that keeps us alive in to relive eternity. In the burning,
suffering, torment that is beyond anything this world can do. Or in the heavenly’s
and bliss of everlasting love and bright hope to shine down for all left to journey
when we are gone?
Perspective
is everything in the eye of the beholder.
Just as control is an illusion.
The
day comes when you cannot breathe because you allowed the world to own
you. Or you can never get enough if at
all because the chase and race is real and someone else will always have more,
be better, and so on.
Falling
in to all those whose spirit fills the world with brighter days of hope and
lifts those up and out just at that right time. Those who keep it real, those
who truly say what they mean, mean what they say, and actions align.
There
is no shortage of my misdeeds and /or moments when I ask God if I can line them
up for the judgement. Knowing all too well if he allowed that I would have to
be the first in the line.
Takes
us a long time to get there and change daily, in so many ways be it we choose
for something we think is better or we are forced to change because of things
that happen out of our control that will forever impact us.
We can
lay down; or we can keep fighting to grow forward.
I am
not sure what my tomorrows will be. I know I have been blessed and I am weary
to have to keep starting over or fighting so hard just to make it. Weary of being on that balance beam without
a physical net or anyone to spot me and know they will be there in the end.
But I
also know that no matter what will happen God created me and all of us and all
I have been allowed to be part of. To procreate and in Him, with Him is far
better and meaningful then without.
I could
dive in and talk about how to do things or what it is like to be an information
technologist that tests software and how that happen. I can dive in and talk about how I learned to
run a chain saw taking it apart and putting it all back together. Or how and what it was like to drive a Harley
or just how I came to just start writing about nothing and everything sick I
was a kid.
Perhaps
create a self-help book and outline all the mistakes I have made in this world
so that the next generation can read it and avoid them if they choose.
But
Really! Where would that get me. I just like to think out loud and this is my
venue. Although yes, I need to start
planning getting a different tool or carrier.
Maybe go back to taking everything from online and moving it to paper
again where it was once only on paper and moved to online.
Is
there any right or wrong answers for those that just breathe when they do what
they love doing?
Unless
it is harmful to those we are supposed to care about or those we come into
connection heck now.
We are
never too old to learn or too young to try. We should never let go of what breeds
life and light and hope into our existence and perhaps others as well.
The
beauty of the colors is relevant to the one seeking their palette to be filled.
No
matter what may come or what has come to pass.
I pray you never lose hope all the while that I myself don’t get lost in
the ruins. But no matter what ever the
case may turn out to be.
We
will if we purpose forward; we will see the light, be it that up ahead from God’s
angels sent along the path or our own for those also seeking his eminence. In Christ Jesus, with Christ Jesus and all
that we are created to be.
Meditation
Opportunities coming
from Biblegateway.com The Daily Verse
Job
37:5-6 (AMP) Amplified Bible
5
“God thunders marvelously with His voice;
He does great things which we cannot comprehend.
6
“For
He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth’;
And [He speaks] to the showers and to the downpour [of His mighty
rains], ‘Be strong.’
37 1-13 “Whenever this happens, my heart
stops—
I’m stunned, I can’t catch my
breath.
Listen to it! Listen to his thunder,
the rolling, rumbling thunder of
his voice.
He lets loose his lightnings from horizon to horizon,
lighting up the earth from pole to
pole.
In their wake, the thunder echoes his voice,
powerful and majestic.
He lets out all the stops, he holds nothing back.
No one can mistake that voice—
His word thundering so wondrously,
his mighty acts staggering our
understanding.
He orders the snow, ‘Blanket the earth!’
and the rain, ‘Soak the whole
countryside!’
No one can escape the weather—it’s there.
And no one can escape from God.
Wild animals take shelter,
crawling into their dens,
When blizzards roar out of the north
and freezing rain crusts the land.
It’s God’s breath that forms the ice,
it’s God’s breath that turns lakes
and rivers solid.
And yes, it’s God who fills clouds with rainwater
and hurls lightning from them
every which way.
He puts them through their paces—first this way, then that—
commands them to do what he says
all over the world.
Whether for discipline or grace or extravagant love,
he makes sure they make their
mark.
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