Saturday, October 27, 2018

2018_October(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Lord I am one of your many tiny specs of this universe you created;   I call out from deep within only you know only you understand.  I first must ask Lord Forgive me for all my sin.    Since I took that dip, I was never the same again.    Although I fail daily; so I ask to please bare with me hold me close and forgive me again.  Please forgive what you say is a sin; Please forgive me in my weakness when I offend others.   

Lord you know my heart, you know my life start So I beg for continued mercy and grace.  Allowing every day to reflect your place.

There are many words that will never come to view; many you already know because you are you.
The many while on my knees;  or just the conversations in those moments.   Jesus whatever will be will be.  But I ask for you to hear these prayers as I will post and show those in need immediately the most.    When I am stuck in the grey zone. May I be on my knees in time with you alone.   For humanity fails daily but you never will.

Although I can't Lord go back and pull all I have written off of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or anywhere else please intercede for all that be.  I lift them high lord as the day grows long.  You know my history on this matter of prayer from day one.  I wish to start today father and continue this journey.  Please Hear each and every soul and the needs of the heart.   Please give them the miracle.    
——————-

10/31/2018
Lord
thank you for this day;  thank you for the focus.  Jesus, you know I am transparent and wear my heart on my sleeve;  And when I have in my head something will never come to be; I pretty much shut down and sometimes become offensive to that of what I care about the most.     I first ask for forgiveness Lord if I have done this lately.   I would or could never purposely issue contempt or harm knowingly to anyone or anything I care about.    These days even if it is something I detest it takes much to get to that point.   Lord it was Pandora's box opened as a game and I had the ability to what I thought was controlling how things were going.     Even the simplest actions and openness with such disbelief.    Oh father, please guide me and keep me in your will;  there is not a day that doesn't go by that my will is trying to take over.  When I do I become reckless, uncertain and just all around feeling  foolishness.    Father I was okay in the desert,  I know it is not my choice when you say it is time to move.  But Lord almighty.  How could one ever belief such a thing!   I will always be okay for I have you Jesus;   I am good at shutting down, dodging or making a fool diving right in.  

I ask please father; you know my heart and my hearts desires.  Your will be done father.      It is not about the world;  it is about serving your kingdom.    It is about staying in you safely until you move me to where it is I should be.   It is about me not being able to do it on my own.   I can't!    I am strong, but for whatever has come to light in these recent months;  whatever the triggers of insecurity, need and YOU.    Please hold me in your will with You're strength and mercy.   Lord I ask for protection and guidance of all being consumed by the things unseen, of what is not you and your kingdom.  Guide us all; protect us and please never stop showing your children guidance mercy and grace.  Protect us from all the false witness all the impersonators be it being impersonated or receiving lies and disruptions to your will.


10/31/2018 (fb)
Jesus thank you for getting us all through the month of October. Lord you know every single thing all of your children have been going through. The great and happy moments, those filled with unknown filled with sorrow or anxiety for some. Or for those who have to say goodbye to loved ones. Those trying to help and fix family and friends. It has been bitter sweet for so many. Yet Lord if we remember all you went through and still feel every day when your children lose hope and faith. Please forgive me, please forgive us. Lord when are feeling weak. May we dive in directly to you and surround ourselves with your warriors. Lord I may say we but I speak for me and pray for all the needs and desires for our family in Christ and all those that are coming to faith because of the good works of TobyMac and all other messengers singing to our souls. Keep them safe and filled up with and for you Lord. Thank you for all you give us. If you wake us another day. May we give it all to you. In Jesus precious name. Amen

10/30/2018 evening

Lord thank you for this day.  Thank you for humbling me and thank you for continue to work on me.  It is not about me father.  Yet like everyone at times, I get caught up and I make so.    Lord I know forgiveness in all things is a journey;  I pray father for forgiveness of all I have showed contempt or harm;  As I forgive all who have harmed me or offended me in someway.   Lord I would like to think that there are none;  But that would be my human self and untrue.   Please Lord guide me and keep my heart pure.    You washed it clean long ago;  Please father guide me and keep it pure no matter what the pursuit is I should follow.   Lord you know I never want to be that Catch and Release person.   My entire life I have lived and seen how others build relationships just to let them go or throw them away.  I try to keep my circle of close personal souls lord of what some refer to as keepers.   Lord although I fail miserably; I try to be open, transparent and loving.   Forgive me when I should allow someone in and I cannot without physical tangible evidence.     While I thank you Lord for allowing me to survive.      Lord I want to be the Love you reflect;  Show me how to give and receive this father.  While keeping me from the bottom feeders and dwellers.    I don't want to give up on this world;  Yet it is hard Jesus.  Then I remember all you did trying to make a difference.   And even then humanity did not get it.     Lord I ask for your favor;  may I continue to be blessed, grown up and protected by your angels of mercy and grace.    May I never become the receiver or taker of a catch and release relationship that jeopardizes all you are to me and my life. No matter how significant I ever feel Lord when it comes to those you put on my path; Please hear my prayers to lift all my brothers and sisters up to you in Christ for healing, protection and guidance with special mercies for the missions you have them on.   I lift my biological family and friends up to you for salvation and peace to come to know your blessings.   In Jesus Mighty Lord;  I am yours there is nothing that can ever change this.  Be it interference or choices of what I think at times.   You flow through my veins.  Always as I was Always As I can be Always Just Me~  Kelly

10/30/2018
There can always be so much said, so many opinions, so much good and even more bad.
I will never have it perfect; EVER.    I can dwell on the what if's or why.    I can reach out and occasionally I do.  Most often I keep to myself.   I in the past 20 years have learned to give it to God in Prayer.    Then work hard staying busy.   So yes those that know me;  I talk to God all the time, and am never still.   I am blessed to have those I am very close with and be it in our Small group time or one on one in prayer and petition we gather do uplifting bible based study and remind each other;  the burdens we carry are not ours to keep. It is hard,  give away pull it back.  Sometimes all day every day.     Did I say,  I will never have it perfect; EVER!   I will never understand life,  never understand the hurt and the pain that so many face.  Never understand why some really innocent, good souls suffer and others walk all day in the valley at the expense of others.     I have trust issues,  I am a show me person.   Usually it takes one time until something happens to where I can't trust again.   Even then if we connected I still love that person but from a distance.   Perhaps it is the blessing God gave me for survival.   Do I go through things.   Oh yeah;  Daily.    I have my ups, my downs, my self image, insecurities.  My pity party as to why me or why not me.    Then I am reminded of all I have been given, not what I have lost or given away.   I have been reminded of keeping it simple you can't take it with you.    I get the can't take it;  but simple for crying out loud.   I was a software Quality Assurance tester for 29 years.   How do you turn off just keep it simple;  My nature is to dig deep in and show proof.    Even though I currently am not in that field;  It still comes out in life.   It has to make sense, it has to flow.  I have to pray on it.   Yes I do get signs when I am hanging close to the word.   Then there are times things just happen and those that they don't.     I really try not to stress over any of it anymore.    My point with all of this;  We all need a relationship with God.  Be it you want to believe in Him or not.  Your life will change forever.    You have to start by prayer, every day and sometimes all day long.    You have to believe that He will show you the way and the reasons, In His own time not ours.      We all need relationships;  Find someone who believes in Jesus even if you don't.  Find someone you know you can trust and ask them into your circle and start sharing your world with them, and ask them to prayerfully share their Jesus with you.    Things will never be the same.        There is an indescribably peace that fills you and stays with you through all storms.     The storms will always come;  you will lose loved one's, you will face suffering,  you will be lonely more in life then not.    Things will continue to happen that you don't understand.   But with the peace and surrounding of souls that Love and seek the beauty that is left on this earth.   You will be a light for those that are at the mercy of evil and you will help get them to safety.    I am who I am; Always as I was, Always as I can be, Always Me Just Kelly!    I a child of God, filled with more Mercy and Grace than I will ever deserve.   It is not my place to judge you, It is not my place to turn my head. It is my place to do whatever I can to lead the way in positive ambitions, and seek fellow believers to lift me up as I am sinking;  As I will always be here for those who call upon me.

10/30/2018 (fb) Jeremiah 29:12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. John 10:14 I am the good Shepard; I know my own sheep and they know me.
(Father as each soul awakes this day, with so much on their minds; fill them with your peace. Let someone who believes shine a light of hope into the world they are struggling with. Father protect those who will travel, give healing to those in a crises or going into a crises, Guide us all, and for all who are weary, Father please lift them up, in love, mercy so they may rest their head upon you and be filled with new grace and wisdom. We call your presence Lord to come! Be with us, save us from ourselves. Fill your people to shine brightly for all those who are in the dark. Unify us Father; Let us be the change of Peace and love in Harmony. Amen)

10/29/2018 (fb)
Thank you Lord for another day.   With all the distractions of this world, I ask for guidance to make it count.  As It’s not about me.

Set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:13 NIV

Lord thank you please continue to protect us from the darkness in this world.  With so many gamers, users and abuses out there. Father guide and protect our youth our children and grandchildren.   Our future.

Even wen I walk through the darkest valley, I shall not be afraid, for you are close beside me.  Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.  Psalm 3:4 NLT

10/28/2018 5:30am (fb)
As I lay here feeling the coolness that has come.  Thinking of the days events.  I am blessed and thankful for another day.    Reminded there have been good and bad in this journey yet I am here to decide how will I choose today.    We see the world shaking and crumbling before us. Humanity gone mad.  Innocent harmless creatures of God discarded or snatched right before our eyes.   Yet we look the other way bury our heads.  Just keep keeping on.   We complain about all we disagree with and fight if triggered yet never step out in positive faith and action in unity to make a lasting change.    Stop the hate.  None of us deserve anything even if we have kind hearts.  Be thankful for where you are in this moment.  You want change dare to be different and be positive be proactive be love.    Let some you know you care. ❤️❤️


10/27/2018 11:46am
Dear Lord you know each and every hair on all the human race.   I lift up or road warriors, missionaries, Men and Women of God out being messengers for your kingdom.    Lord the ones I find as go to and those I have not yet heard.  Please Lord guide them, lift them up protecting and loving on them as they do you work.  Father keep them close and let nothing but your will transpire changing souls and hearts.  For now into eternity Lord.  You will be done.

10/27/2018 7:19 am (twitter)
Thank you Lord for this awakening.  AS I spend time with you waiting for daylight.  Thank you for loving me.  Lord whatever it takes help me make and keep it about you.  Thank you for all the beautiful souls I cross paths with along this journey.

10/27/2018 5:30am (FB)
Have a blessed Saturday. Say a prayer of thankfulness you are alive because some else’s sacrifices. Jesus 1st then our military men and women who die daily so you can live!


10/26/2018 (FB & Instagram)

Prayer request to make the final words coming out on paper for Blonde By Choice  be about the blessings of GOD and not what was.


-------------Caught Off Guard

10/25/2018

Only the Lord knows my deepest desires.  He knows what this life journey has put me through; and what he pulled me out of.   He knows I have to have to be close to anyone not just someone who loves Jesus.  But all of my expectations, someone that is true,  Someone that has a mission heart and wants to be side by side while leading the way.     Someone that values and respects and grows through the pain, not adds to or runs.  And if that is not meant to be;  That the Lord pull me back together and place me where I need to be.      

I know this is not over yet;   I have grown more comfortable and the turmoil is subsiding.   

I am not settling ever,  but I have to trust God has a purpose for all that is exposed in my world.

  I will remain in love with my dream my sweet soul.    When the day comes to life; I know God has a plan greater than anything I am.    Until then I will continue to do my best connecting Him through prayer. 

If tomorrow never comes for a moment time I experienced promise of a sweet friend of  Jesus, the sweetest of souls;  Agape Love, freedom no holds.   I will wait until I don't.   I am not looking;  I wasn't when this occurred.

 For now I ask for forgiveness in my child like spirit; please lift me up for all I do I pray;;  I am all in for Jesus;  not me or ever again in this life to waste and feel shame.

If I dream, I try not to;  but some day, one day I will lie close again;  be able to share love and laughter and work concerns through together.  Ride on holding tight;  or chilling,  cooking or go out fishing before daylight.    For now the keeper of my soul will forever be the lover of my soul and the dream  of my unknown destiny for my sweet soul and me.  For I am always me, who will forever dream and love you for you!

    Forever I am and will be a Jesus girl. As I daily pray I may serve His kingdom.     Always as I have been, Always as I will be, always just me Kelly~



 

-----------------Jesus I need You


10/24/2018

In this world of nothingness

Where you can dream big

Chase the good Chase the bad

Where you can choose to be happy or Choose to remain sad

Without Christ what would I be

Just another insignificant spec on the universe

Alone and weary

The heart is controlled

you can keep it open or shut down

But you never really know where it is at until the truth comes around

When you realize being in Love with Jesus you have substantial known proof

Yet when you start slipping for someone in humanity that you will never touch

All because you got a little too chatty and such

Was this another test

Was this Gods test to see if I am done with this rest

Imagine when that spark is lit into the glowing flame

You try to play along with the game

Realizing there is no way you are qualified

Then you realize it is burning to close to the soul

You need to hurry and put out the flame.

So you panic before you confirm the truth

The hustle so real.   Only God really knows what to say, see, look and feel.

Then what if

What if it really was you

Will my God really allow such thing,  Why is this life so cruel?

Thirteen plus years You survive for years

Managing with Gods team and maybe a few tears

So why this, why now

You know you want to;  but absolutely don't know how.

How did this ever come to be.

All because you stumbled upon Everything~

What sense of humor our God has

Not saying it is good or bad.

Just know deep in side was fine when all was in reality and closed.

Now what; what do I say, what do I do.

Oh Lord I really need you.

In love

Jesus I need you and your love so much.

Jesus I need your Godly touch.

Father when we think we have it all figured out

Then someone reminds us of the loss, the pain and so much doubt.

Your heart just beats out of your chest and you want to scream and shout.

Jesus I need you and your love so much

Please bless me with your Agape love, spirit, mercy and grace

Please give me the courage, the blessings face to face

Please if it is your will; may my voice be heard in harmony of your messenger

A gift from far above

Jesus I need you and your AGAPE love


--------------------Direction
10/24/2018

Thank you Lord for getting me up another day
May whatever comes through my path or I through it's this day.  May the spirit of God be deep within me, may the obedience of love and grace outpour.   May I be a reflection of hope and what is good.  On those moments I cannot;  Please surround me and all I am blessed with those pure hearts you have placed in my journeys path.
There is so much brokenness and pain for so many.   Those I don't even know and those that share the same blood flows through my veins
Loss and confusion, anger and bitterness, suffering
Lord so much is being wasted so much life that is out there now
As I go through my devotionals and study this morning, I find myself digging deep.
Digging in seeking something that will touch the broken hearted.   Something that makes clear sense and will change how one feels about God.
I have never been a theologian never will be.  I look and depend on others to lead me there; and then dig in to see what or where it is coming from.
I have always been able to speak with people, feel what they feel hurt for what they hurt for but always hated I could not fix what was broken for them.
Then again I was reminded,  I could never fix myself that it was the seed of God that got planted in me over time that one day it sprouted and I thirsted to know more and I grew
There are still days that my brokenness just as everyone else's shines through.
Be it with my career, with my home, with my children
With the losses of loved ones that took place, or ending up in places and loving on people that most would consider the least of these and unworthy to be around
The suddenness of the unexpected that triggers a new kind of normal every single day, sometimes even within each day
I don't know where I am going, I know where I have been
My prayers are pure, my heart is wide open and my soul is cleansed.
Lord for all I am blessed to be part of; May they feel the spirit of God and get to know you
May they be filled up with healing and comfort, may they come to know all that is good in this worldly path and may they stopped being robbed from all that is broken.
May the FAITH of Daniel fill them, the HOPE of Moses guide them and the strength of David push them through to you
May they live and love for the days they have looking out over the horizon and see the beauty that is placed before them.   If in dark places may the a light so bright lead them to peace and tranquility giving them the new day and new normal to love where they are at
Heal the brokenness,  fill the lonely,  May we all give thanks back to you Lord for the sacrifice of you son Jesus Christ and all the suffering and pain that took place to allow humanity in relation with you.
As we have failed you miserably on this earth, may you forgive us.  In Jesus precious name Thank you for this day Amen   

----------------My God waking thoughts


10/22/2018


My God has a funny sense of humor with me most days

But I will never doubt the Love he carried through his journey on this earth

Nor will I ever want anything more but the Real Love in Christ for my life

My journey on this land since the day I have been placed here, has been!

There are twists and turns I will never know how I survived as they were taking place.

There are reasons I will never know

Sure there are days when I wonder, more than I should

Those days I cry wondering why things go down the way they would

Those days when I think I know I should,  All those if only's

I never Picked where I would be in this destiny;  In fact so far from it.  One thing that was always the same.   I always wanted that forever.   Forever one true love, forever together someone, forever through anything.

I never got what that really meant Until I met Jesus

Sure my human side goes through emotions

But one thing is for sure

The day My God got through to me

The day My God washed away all the stains that burned in my soul

The day My God shows me time and time again He has this not me

Those will be the days I will forever need

I speak about my soul bleeding on the floor

I am torn at times when I long for that deep physical relationship in Christ

Not lust or sex,  yes that comes with being human  

Love, honor, respect with that deep oneness mind body and soul

The torment knowing for whatever the reason

I before Christ learned all about the demons of this world

Yet my God pulled me out and holds me dear

I can sit and feel ripped off

But when I look back during the days of chasing the void

There is no great peace I have with Jesus Christ

Some may get it, some may not

I can again testify everything with Christ, He is all I want.

As I get ready to start my days and pray out;  Lord your will be done.

For you know the desires of my heart of my soul

Protect me from the enemies who know I am your servant

Guide me through what will be;  I am I always will be forever yours In Christ.

Thank you father.   for all you have given me.  Good, bad and so very unknown.  Without you; there is nothing.

always as I was, always as I am always just me Kelly




------------Bleeding Soul---------------


10/20/2018




As my soul bleeds on the floor before you
There is nothing more to be done.

For this war that is spiritual is far from over
Even though ours has just begun

For this world has no hold on me
In Jesus I am forever free

Though no matter how many seeds are planted
There will also be the weeds

The fight and struggles are so very real
Always trying to surround oneself
With the love unconditionally
Never allowing hate or doubt to prevail
Players of this world
With all their Chaos and turmoil

As my soul bleeds on the floor
Who can I trust in this lonely cruel world
My spirit cries out on this journey
My spirit of Tierney

Knowing where I have been
Knowing how far I have come in Him

For there must be a bigger plan
Everything is far beyond anything that I am

As

For this war that is spiritual is far from over
Even though ours has just begun

For this world has no hold on me
In Jesus I am forever free

Though no matter how many seeds are planted
There will also be the weeds

The fight and struggles are so very real
Strangulating if not grounded deep within

Always trying to surround oneself
With the love unconditionally
Always trying to never  allowing hate or doubt to prevail


Please have mercy on me Jesus Mercy in this world
As my soul bleeds on the floor before you
There is nothing more to be done  
For you have sacrificed your only begotten son

What is human agape love father please tell me this
Jesus show me what is to be done, what should it be next
For my soul bleeds on the floor before you,  All I can do is hold tight and try not to run

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always
now, always me  Kelly



 

------- RAW


10/18/2018


Have you ever had the day where your mind is on a roller coaster

I have had a few the past several days; wondering what is going on with me,    this mind hardly ever shuts down.   If I am lucky I will only have one dream.   Some nights I know I am dreaming waking exhausted yet can't remember what is

Others I dream so real it scares me.    I remember the dreams I had in my youth that as time went on I was walking into a rewind.    Sometimes everything makes sense, others I think I am going crazy.

I am thankful for the dreams when I would wake screaming and fighting to breath are very rare.   Although at times I sometimes still jump up.

I am blessed and I no longer wonder why my past was the way it flowed,  I am blessed and thankful I have been given a strong spirit.  I am thankful I did not burn up too many brain cells and was able to fight my way through.   Not a physical fight;  but that of not giving up to be like everyone else with an excuse.

I am thankful my God got through to me and I know where all my blessings come from.

Even on the days I am worn out and frustrated;  wishing I could keep up.  Praying someday it will be my turn.   I have been working since I was 14,  I have supported myself and my children, and everyone else that had needed help along the way, or those I was trying to fix.

I am thankful I finally learned even though it is hard,  it is not my job to fix anyone.   I am learning how to push the baby bird out of the nest and just pray fast and furious she flies high with the angels and stays out of Satan’s playground.

That is hard when she has baby birds of her own.   I have been blessed 17 years to help guide the way even when it was not what it should have been.    Maybe that is what the inability to sleep and feeling it these days.    It won't be long that the 17 year old will be on her own;    And the 7 year old will need guidance.     I know what it was like when my grandmother died at age 9 and I had no one.

So how do I get those images out of my mind and just let go and let God.   Every time we are so close there is something.     These are God's children not mine.     I know the time is getting near;  I don't move unless he moves me.    When I got this home so stability had a place it was His doing.   Yet anymore I wonder when can I feel rest,  will I ever feel half of what I put out.

Then I feel guilty for making it about me;  It is not about me,  It never has been.

 I wonder how long I can keep going,  My prayers are constant for Jesus to never let me go;  He has been holding me up and close all my life and closer when I finally met him where he was at.

I am blessed spending time with these kids the little one learning to read the bible with me.   The older one has such a great head on her shoulders.    Yet I cry inside knowing, at some point they will be gone as well.

That brings flashbacks from long ago, how I would cry when everything I ever got close to; ended up dying or leaving.   I became a master at loving from a distance.    It has worked, it has been my safety net for years.    Never having any issues even if sometimes I got the blues.

Yet lately feeling things so differently;    I ask you Jesus as I say you have such a funny sense of humor.     I ask you,  What do you want from me?  What should I be doing?   Show me Lord;  Send someone to teach me your ways for this world.

Father,  I can laugh, cry, scream out, sing out.    I need you Jesus.   I need you on the outside;  I need you through my veins.     Lord I need to learn how to trust,  Not over think and worry what if's.

I thank you I have been blessed with my son, with my daughter with my grandchildren.   With all the material things and all those that matter most.  When looking up in your sky father,  I need love looking back at the same exact time.     You placed every star, the sun and the moon.   Your beauty is beyond explanation.   How I melt as I look off into the distance.  It is all about you.  Yet when I am unable to look away.   Please help me to stop being consumed;  Please help me do your will and move forward and not feel like I am frozen in retreat.  calling out every single flaw.  

Jesus as what will become some of the most famous and memorable lyrics go.   "I see you in everything".    Please may I never stop feeling or remembering this.

I know what will be will be.  Keep me focused Lord I pray; until you reveal what next.

Thank you Lord for the strength you have given me through out time.   Please guide me through the doubtful moments.   Reveal your love Jesus.   You know my heart, You know my desires.   I am broken.   Please keep me from running away.   Please guide me deeper  into your arms.  Your will; your mission, your message.

Thank you Lord for the power of prayer;  for the blessing of messages you give me to share.  Please hear my raw emotion.  Me from the inside out.

In your mighty precious name.   I love you Lord.  With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly




----------------REASONS

10/13/2018

 

I can look back and find a million things that can justify the faults I have today and feel justified.

I can look ahead and find the same million why what some think am frozen. 

There is a fine line between good and evil.  Sometimes we must get stuck in that gray matter face down to realize only God is the one true thing in this world.   Then and only then may we gain the confidence to let it go. Those things that torment our heart and soul and find peace in HIS presence

Yet, I can say quickly brief reference why I fell in love with God and His Son Jesus.

 SACRAFICE

John 3:16 New International Version (NIV)

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

 HONOR

Deuteronomy 5:16  Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

 HUMANITY

Hebrews 2:14 Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—

LOVE 

Psalm6:4 Turn, Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love.

John 3:16 New International Version (NIV)

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

 BEAUTY

 1Peter 3:3-4Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Isaiah 33:17 Your eyes will see the king in his beauty and view a land that stretches afar.

PEACE

Psalm 4:8 In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.

ABUNDANCE

Genesis 27:28  May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine.

Jeremiah 2:22Although you wash yourself with soap and use an abundance of cleansing powder, the stain of your guilt is still before me,” declares the Sovereign Lord.

 GRACE

Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

 PROTECTION

Psalm 91 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. …

HOPE

Job11:18  You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

FAITHFULNESS

Genesis 24:27 saying, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”

Palm 40:11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord; may your love and faithfulness always protect me.

----------------

.

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly







----------------Dear Lord



10/10/2019



Dear Lord

Lord we know it is written all these things will come to be; yet none of us know when the end time will be.   I pray Lord that your Mercy and Grace send your angels Lord to Lift us up, Hold us up and give us the courage and strength to fight all of the elements coming at us.   We do all matter Lord; Each and every soul has a mission and need for and with you.     It doesn’t mean we all go out stand on corners yelling the world is coming to the end.   Or become vigilantes.    But Lord; Dear Jesus, you know where each and every soul stands.   Your will be done father, not our own.   May humanity come together before, during and after all storms for whatever life is left while we are in this world!

Lord

We praise you for allowing your chosen one’s to come together.  Allowing us like minded brothers and sisters in Christ to keep us strong, aware and allow us to know we are and never have been alone.    We know as time goes on we will need you and all of your soldiers, angels and messengers more than ever.   

   We thank you for the messages you send through music , there are so many hearts for Jesus singing out sometimes it is hard to know which is the right one of the day.     Then you remind us in your timing.     We thank you Lord especially during this season, that you have called from a young age and still today Toby Mac and all the brothers and sisters who work together in your mission field blessing us.    

        I pray a special thanks that eyes are opening and ears are hearing how your works are alive and breathing.   Lifting up special prayers of protection and thanks in acknowledgment for the leadership with and for your people and the creativity bringing relevant impacting messages with his music.  For the talent you have imposed on this soul and the heart he carries for you and your people, out into this world.         Thanks of praise and abundant prayers of protections, physical, emotional, spiritual nourishment for all our Prayer warriors and partners in your Name.     For those who feel everything they are praying for and those walking in the trenches blessing in your Name.    May you’re will Jesus fill us each day.

As I  see no greater alignment at this time Lord that you are showing us what you say is true;  As we in the world  watch the news listen to the radio.  If we look around in our own families and friends and people we know.   All they are being impacted by.    So many people father giving up, struggling.  So many good souls experiencing tragic devastation.    We must believe Lord in you and all you lived and died for.   That no pain is greater than that of which you were pierced, beat, broken and hung on a cross.   So we could live.      May we never forget; May we continue to fight in and with you through the Elements.   May you continue to use us; those as Toby Mac and all who have been called forward!       The Elements have never been seen so openly painful and chaotic as they are these days.


Environmentally the world that you created, that we in humanity truly do not really appreciate the way you intended.            This world is going through so much destruction and pain, from the volcanic eruptions in beautiful Hawaii to the continuous earth quakes, and storms.    Lord we know you have your hand on all things.          From the environmental storms straight to the storms we carry deep within.


   Lord please give us the strength and the right message at the right time to keep us focused on you.    Year over Year there is so much heartbreak around us, death, destruction, physically, emotionally, environmentally.      How discouraging and angry we can become watching beauty and innocence destroyed without reason.   Humanity so much Humanity lost for no reason.        

Lord I love You, I thank you.  I know there are so many more out there that get you even more then I ever could; please guide us; and allow us to shine the light and as ours is dimming our brothers and sisters align with us for your mission.      May all on the front lines have you're special blessing!

In Jesus name AMEN 

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly
 




----------CREEPS UP

10/08/2018

 

 

Even  those of us with the best of intentions daily;  wake up some mornings feeling a little off.

Feeling like you don't want to motivate

Thinking how nice would it be to:

                    Just stay snuggled in bed

                   Just have that special person to chill with all day

                   Do something  worthy and memorable with someone special with no expectations

Not often do these moments catch me off guard

I guess knowing I have dedicated my last several years to my girls and to serving the Lord

Knowing I was leading them so close keeps me accountable

I will never stop serving

As I have far to much to be grateful for and no way do I ever want to lose my blessings because of stupid dishonoring actions

But I know there will be an emptiness outside of my working and serving.

I never planned to be where I am today.   Absolutely never expected to be so blessed.

The Lord has walked with me in all my life;     For all the evil I have seen, all the struggles I have battled through.  All the wrong choices and lessons learned.

I dove in head first to try and make sure my kids were not impacted;  When they were grown and I could no more.   I took over to protect the granddaughters.

Knowing once I lost my own grandmother at age 9 never having anyone else to look out for me.

Even though I am young,  I am feeling it with the oldest grand just turned 17 and the youngest 10

I am finally seeing the blessings that I did not screw my kids up to terribly.

We all get there in our own time.   I certainly did once I got past all the hate, and hurt.

all the chasing everything trying to fill the lifetime of voids.

And now here I am years later with a career, healthy, blessed single as it gets for the past 13.5 years.

and about to go through another round of empty nesting.

So even in my best intentions when you least expect it.  Some mornings you wake up wondering about the would of should could of.     The moments of if ever?   

I have always been good moving forward when I can dedicate to someone or something else.   I don't handle me well at all.   

I do know if ever the day comes where I am given a companion;  I want the love I feel towards JC.

Nothing more Nothing less.   If it never happens at that level.    I just want to serve and surround myself with those who get it and those who love all that Christ lived and died for without all that domination bs, hateful agendas.

But me independent as all get out;  in the school of life hard knocks and by the wolves of this world.   Trusting is the balance when it comes to others agenda's why they would want to connect.

Needing but not needy.     In fact so self sufficient,  that now I think why would I need a honey for my do list, that thought makes me think crazy.    I have had it all, lost it, had it stolen, gave it away.   I take nothing without giving more.   I never want anyone to try to control me.    Only that of equality and trust, Agape Love!    No expectations.   Deep unconditional Love.

Until that day comes;  I will continue to admire those who walk the walk, those who serve.

those who create the harmonies that sing to my soul.    Music is the passion that nothing can replace.

I will be here; until I see Jesus face to face~

Crazy thoughts I woke with this day.        In Him my life is possible

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly










Friday, October 5, 2018

2018-Most Recent Music Relevant Music ReleaseTMac

Oh my goodness this is so Real!    Relating in so many ways;  A few that go deep fast.

I pray; for this beautiful soul no matter when; no matter what.  He will always remain faithful and humble to the Lords calling.   That his entire support system rise up.   No matter when no matter what is going on.   The world and all the unseen elements are actively gnawing to chew us up and throw away and erase all that is good and pure.    May all you have achieved all you will lose never define you.   May the will of God forever hold you tight;  even when you want to just run and hide.

May you and all who are on this great commission; have health, wellbeing mentally and physically.  And abundance of true Agape love.   Not just for what you do; not just for who your public persona has made you.     In his precious name.   Thank you Jesus for your soldiers and their message!  With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly



The Elements    @Officialtobymac
https://tobymac.lnk.to/theelements


Scars
https://youtu.be/MnSXYmn-YvY


I Just Need You

https://youtu.be/skeRPKygTkk


Everything
https://youtu.be/QurQEiOAQjA


Thursday, August 30, 2018

2018-A BBC Glimpse (PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)


Forward


“A decision is a choice about something that you want to do or believe.  It is drawing a conclusion while considering the options.  Your statement that you are going to make the decision means that you admit that you are the one making the choice.  By definition then, you are freely choosing to do something.  Therefore, to later say that you have no choice in what you are doing is a contradiction of your statement in the beginning, present or future”.     We can prove the Bible has been around for thousands of years;  But nowhere can it be found written as doctrine “Life would be easy; A walk in the park; That we all will be blessed  for all our days, with the knowledge and grace to make the right decisions and choices throughout our entire lifetime.

I can attest from my own personal walk in this life; and form many will always feel as such.  Just how hard it is to believe and fathom anything when we believe in what is unseen.   That is until that day comes we build a personal relationship with our maker through biblical standards and His son Jesus Christ for themselves.

There is no way to describe at least for me;   Just how peaceful and blessed we become when we submit to all that is unseen and start learning what is in the bible and building a relationship with God.    I am no theologian by far, nor will I ever be.  But we are blessed with his mercy and Grace, and no matter what the circumstance, we are never alone to walk through the valley. Yes, there will be valleys!   Therefore the best advice anyone could have ever given me, was forget what everyone else is telling you when your decisions need to be made.   But instead make a list of all the particulars that surround it and Pray to God daily that he reveal what decisions should be made.   For you may be lonely in this world even when surrounded by people.  But with God; you will never be alone.  He is our creator, our Alpha and Omega the maker of Heaven and Earth!        I invite you to take this journey with me to show how He showed up for me.   And urge you to think of it as if everything they say about Jesus is true, you will have a front row pass to grow in his kingdom for eternity.  And if it is all a farce, well then what do you have to lose.   Time that you spend doing and believing in positive loving ways.   Time saved from darkness and those that would like to just harm anyone because they can.   The choices are up to you.  Just as I am blonde by choice; it is just that simple!

But to qualify; I don’t take it just because someone said so.   I have been walking in grace for 13 years now in this journey.   I mean really walking.  I have taking courses, met with like minded people from all over the place and do small group studies.    Been blessed to soften my heart and fill it with the spirit worshiping through music.  And I have been truly blessed to see and hear so many talented beautiful messengers bring the story of Jesus Christ to life.    Not only that; but I am a living testimony of HIS saving grace.     My story is my own; although I have learned that there are many friends, neighbors’ family and unknowns that surround us daily.   Going through things that we ourselves have survived or been blessed with.    So if you feel lost, alone and helpless.   Know you are not alone in this journey.    I urge you to find a good bible based church as you hear so often on TV or the radio.   And get to know the people, and challenge any message given for biblical truths.     Just as Lee Strobel did to prove there wasn’t a God later to prove A Case for Christ.   You will be amazed just how much truth exists in our and for our God.   And even more on how much you really need to stop what you’re doing and make that decision right now to build the relationship, get baptized and do everything you can to walk the walk.   I would much rather live in peace even at my end times.   Then live in uncertainty, fear, anger and loneliness always chasing things to fill a void I once had in my soul. 







Friday, August 24, 2018

2018- (Soul Message -TobyMac - Everything (PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)




You who are planting for the Harvest.    Vibing beats planting the seeds of HIS Love, Grace, Mercy, and Unity that only the soul understands.   Feeding the Spirit while moving the heart.     We all bleed red.      We all need Godly leadership.     Not all will get it, want it, and feel it.    However, those that do.    Are blessed to be filled and in that agape love harmony.    Indescribable connections without reason, expectations or doubt.    Just knowing deep down the purpose comes from the Son, who created all the heavens, stars and moon.  You are a chosen one; sitting high with all Gods angels.   Never lose site, never give up, never give in; Never stop leading the way for us, In HIM~

Sunday, December 4, 2011

2011 - I Love Me (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

So often we allow time to get away from us.  It could be minutes, hours, days, months years.  Then one day something happens.  To you or someone you know or even in the world that makes a grand impact all around.   And you sit back in self realization, just wondering where did time go.  Hopefully you never think back with regrets.    Years ago; I needed change drastically in my life.

Everything was just no longer working.   Me and relationships that is.    I was  I guess in them because I thought that is what I needed to make it through in life.

But how could I stop being attracted to all the wrong reasons for a relationship.  How could I not have myself in a way that would put me in a spot.


So here I am 7 years later;  45 pounds heavier, although I must say and I will be to the point.  I did lose the heaviness of being a world-class materialistic bitch.

So those who love me for me; will argue that I was never that way.   But trust me when I say.

When you are so consumed with all that matters on the outside.   You tend to mistreat everything of everyone including yourself for what is really everlasting on the inside.


Although my youth started out with little to nothing.  Even though I came from a large family on both my mothers family tree and half that size on my fathers family tree.

We had the normal dysfunctional family that the world seems to gravitate to.

Everyone is there for questions, answers and lots of advise and of course all the guidelines of how you should have done it.

But our family had enough to get by.  There was not routine stabilization of family happiness.  In fact everyone was caught up in their worlds of meism's.     

Though I love everyone of my aunts and uncles to death.   We did not have that traditional Godly loving sticking together kind of family.

But let me save this for another blog.     You see my thoughts tonight are about relationships.  And how it took stepping away from me to find me.

Grant it I still dwell on the outside sometimes.    I guess because the world wants the outside package to be perfect before most times they will even try to see what is inside.

I know I do by nature.   If someone looks a little off; or not what I think they should be.   I keep moving so I don't have to get to know them.

Kind of like when your single and someone shows alittle interest.  You have all kinds of excuses why you just don't want them to know.  It is not them; but you just  are not ready to take that chance of being rejected or creating bad feelings.  Because it happened so many times in the past.

And women;  we are the best at if we start letting ourselves go.   It will save us from that area completely.   Yet then who will save us from ourselves.


My life of relationships I always felt not good enough and settled for the good looking bad boys who in the end had little respect for themselves and me.      I thank God every day for the day I stood up and realized what was I doing.

What was I thinking.  My entire life although I might have been lonely.. I WAS NEVER ALONE.

It was then that years and litterly thousands of dollars lately.   It was I that always had the career and carried everyone.  So why could I not get that earlier on.

Coming from a divorced family into a single family home.  I did all I could thinking I had to have a man in my life and a father for my children.

Thank you Jesus that although there were some very hard lessons.  You allowed me to see soon enough to try to plant the seeds of postive growth for my adult children.

And when I say I never planned on being single, putting on weight or even sitting here blogging tonight.    Life is full of surprises.     I pray daily for honest, loving, morally wonderfully made Godly partners for my children to marry and do the best they can with their life.    Just as I am blessed with a companion, lover, partner for the remaining time I have on earth.

Not because I am am in need of anything.    I am blessed.  But because God did not make us to dwell alone.

And lets face it.   I love my snuggling little pets and my most beautiful grandchildren.   But I am a passionate hopeless romantic, with a very strong mind of business, independence and desire to share.   Where my children have their own lives, my grandchildren well they are my grandchildren. and the pets are pets.

So finding myself and realizing how quickly time has past and knowing;  I do not want the rest of my time on this earth to fleet me then waking up one day realizing what could have been if I had only let it.

I love me;  And it took years to be able to do that.   And with that I know I will still never be all that when it comes to holding relationships.   Because I have spent my life time either avoiding them or in those that I should have never had.   I know the one that will carry me and last forever.  Is with my Father of the stars and heavens above.    Knowing my every desire; He will bless me when the time is right.  But for now;  it is time to know and act upon.  It is okay to maintain at certain level what is on the outside.    And love always love from the inside out~


   

Monday, October 3, 2011

2011-THANKSGIVING EVERYDAY (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Those days of a group of kind hearted giving souls getting together for the holidays.

To go out of their way cooking and boxing special meals to bless others.  Well it may be temporarily gone but not forgotten.

For the times are grown trying and desperate for many.

And the need for Thanksgiving is everyday now.

The need for food; shelter; basic necessities are a daily chore.

For the numbers of homeless children in Hernando county schools six weeks into the new school year are already at 125 homeless students that have not fallen through the cracks.


What will you do?

Just keep walking around in your own world and imagine life is a daily grind;
  And as long as you don't let them in.   Things will be just fine.

Trust me brothers and sisters.
That is an outrage and a lie.

It could be your family; it could be your friend.
Does it really matter who is in need by name; in the end?

Our children never asked to be here.
And they are the future which is suffering greatly.

So stop with the high and mighty;
Stop with ignoring.
Stop with what has any one done for me lately.

To be first you must be last!

I ask; I pray;

You will reach deep within your heart.  Get creative.  Get what you can.
Help the children; your fellow sisters and brothers.  Fellow man~

All you have to do is reach out to the local school.
They will put you in connection just how to help; and what to do.

Remember there is a baby freezing and hungry somewhere near.

2011-STOP THE BULLYING EARLY (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

You are created by the same one who has created the stars and the sky. Your beauty is greater then the rose that fades. You deserve more in and for yourself, your future. Than any violence or disrespect anyone could give or get. The same creator who made the ocean tides; also gave every single one of use. Freedom of choice! So hear it now; hear it clear and loud. Whenever you see it near. There is NEVER a reason or execuse. For domestic violence or abuse! Stop the bullying early. KBF 9-23-2011

Sunday, May 15, 2011

2011-Transparency in the shadows (PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

How do we lead by example when we are always on assignment to follow someone else's expectations or rules?


Though we must work together to reach a common goal; how often do we reflect it is my way or now way at all.

How often do we take something twist or mold it to work to meet an objective; yet we don't give those that are supposed to be team, family, partners, seekers of the common goal a second chance if things start derailing from what we think they should be going.

How often does our meism leave us stalking in the shadows creating a fog for all others to clearly see our intent. Or interpret something that far from what we were attempting even with our best efforts.


You say I want you all to be welcomed and feel comfortable to do as you need to make this work.

Yet on any given day; It could just be I want you to do whatever you can to get it right just make it meet the objectives. And when it is done, who really cares what is on your mind until the next time I need you.


We are all the same; all hiding those inner most feelings so that no one steps on us we tolerate on any given day. We mean to love unconditionally. But past hurts, or burdens or beliefs instilled in our being; keep us hiding our hearts and our true feelings in the shadows. Sometimes it may be just the opposite that we let our heart and emotions carry us away where we over exert energy in area's that should never be a matter.

How do we come out of the shadows?

How do we remain transparent?

How do we remain focused and not demoralize any one situation?

Give all the glory to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Take all the hope and every breath you awaken with each new day.. Giving thanks no matter what comes your way.

Protect yourself, but know when you must react.. And if you are unsure then you must be lost in your efforts in finding God's peace and you are letting the world and the ways of it weigh on your soul.

None of us are perfect; we all just try to be. And when we walk towards equality we become more and more transparent. And realize what hides in the dark deserves to stay in the dark.

Sometimes it really is just nothing! Sometimes we have to humble ourselves and bow down and bend, turn, or move over! Sometimes we have to remember if we are lucky we have our loved one's, our families, our friends. And although we may love them deep within. It is not about them, it is not about us! It is the blessings we are given every single minute we are allowed to suck air and just be in any one place.


Take Thoughts Captive -- We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

2010-FEED OUR CHILDREN --RIGHT HERE IN SPRING HILL FLORIDA

With some of our local volunteers from Wiggleworms Learning Center, The SpringHill Neighborhood project and the Angel Food Ministry team from Christian Church in the Wildwood. ~WE ARE REACHING OUT IN EFFORTS TO ASSIST THE HOMELESS~

That is right (WE) You, Me and many others need to come together and take care of our children and the hungry right here in Hernando County.

LET’S FEED OUR KIDS RIGHT HERE IN SPRING HILL

????DID YOU KNOW????

There are 75+ homeless children in our county and the calls keep coming…

The holidays will be here soon, let’s get it right!

Let us join together and provide a true Thanksgiving dinner for all of our children and their families. Our goal is to deliver a hot meal to these kids ON Thanksgiving Day.

If you want to help we need:

PRAYER
VOLUNTEERS
DONATIONS
PRAYER

ITEMS NEEDED TO START ARE:

· · Donations from businesses
· Money for perishables that will have to be purchased later
· People to help prepare food
· People to deliver
· Foil
· Disposable serving dishes
· Canned goods
· Plastic utensils
· Paper plates etc
· Baking stuff
· Take home Styrofoam dishes

IN COORDINATION OF EFFORTS

ALL Food preparation will take place at the Bridge Christian Life Center in the daycare building. 7279 PINEHURST DRIVE SPRING HILL FL 34606

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO PARTICIPATE OR MAKE A DONATION YOU CAN CONTACT ANY OF THE FOLLOWING VIA EMAIL WITH (FEED OUR KIDS) IN THE SUBJECT LINE OR CALL THE FOLLOWING NUMBERS.

COLLEEN representing WIGGLEWORMS LEARNING CENTER 7279 PINEHURST DRIVE SPRING HILL FL 34606 EMAIL WIGGLEWORMS@NETZERO.NET again subject line FEED OUR KIDS PHONE (352-686-2400 or 352-584-6744) OR

MONITARY DONATIONS/GROCERY GIFT CARDS CONTACT BOB AND DEB VALANTE - Representing ANGEL FOOD MINISTRIES through CHRISTIAN CHURCH IN THE WILDWOOD 10051 COUNTRY ROAD WEEKI WACHEE FL 34613 EMAIL ANT91798@AOL.COM or PHONE (352-684-1443)
OR

COORDINATING VOLUNTEER LISTS AND NEEDS
KELLY FAIRFIELD Representing ANGEL FOOD MINISTRIES CHRISTIAN CHURCH IN THE WILDWOOD 10051 COUNTRY ROAD WEEKI WACHEE FL 34613 EMAIL ALWAYSMEKELLY@GMAIL.COM or PHONE
(352-263-9554)

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR ANYTHING YOU CAN DO. AND PLEASE KNOW IF YOU CARE TO DONATE ITEMS BUT CAN NOT MAKE THE DESTINATION -- WE WILL BE GLAD TO ASSIST GETTING IT THERE. GOD BLESS YOU!


Wiggle Worms Christian Learning
Bridge Christian Life Center
7279 Pinehurst Drive
Spring Hill, FL 34606
352-686-2400



The Neighborhood Project
5404 Applegate Drive
Spring Hill, FL 34606
352-345-5954


Christian Church In The Wildwood
10051 Country Road
Weeki Wachee Fl 34613

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

2010-HOW THANKFUL ARE YOU (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Today 9-15-2010 marks 70 days until Thanksgiving 2010.



Now some are gonna whine and say don't remind me. Others ask whats the point and some are looking forward to sharing a time with family and loved ones; Giving thanks for every blessing they have received this year. Even despite some hard times along the way.



Well can I tell you and I know some people get offended or upset when I use this analogy.



But if I were to leave this earth tomorrow; I have no regrets of my life.



It has been full with ups, with downs; with so much unknown. It has been full of so many wonderful people and even those who didn't mesh with my personality or were not so wonderful. I have learned from.



I could list the hard times I have endured from the time I was able to walk up until yesterday. WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT!



I am blessed to get up another day to live and breath and even reflect on those would of should of could of things.



Yes there are many. The tears of pain, real physical pain through heart felt pains that I thought I wanted to kill me to make go away.



Or the tears of emotion seeing new born babies come into this world; seeing my children grow up and make a life for themselves;

seeing beautiful places and meeting so many beautiful people. You know the ones that just open their mouths and your drawn like a magnent with the message they are sharing and love that flows so freely.



Colors I have always been a colors person; loving just about everything thing and everyone. And being in awe when I go out into the gulf of Mexico with nothing but miles of ocean around or up in the moutians up north.



There is so much for me to still see this I know. But one thing I personally am thankful for everyday of my life.



Is for all I have experienced and all I have seen. And the vision and desire to put my one little me speck back out there and try to make things better for those that are being blinded or consumed and can not see and appreciate even a minute of good.



So I may make a differance today or not at all tomorrow. But I can say and maybe this is where my being selfish comes in. But like a rush of excitement and anticipation. When you know you can do something for someone that matters. Is what it is all about.



So it doesn't have to be big; it doesn't have to be planned. Just do it! You know PAY IT FORWARD... Every single day. And on those days that you just can't. And man I get them too. Just remember to give the thanks back to the one who has blessed you to be alive and be who you are and know there is Freedom of choice, Freedom of Will. So if you don't like how your life is working out, change it don't quit it; don't just be like everyone else. Dare to be different!



I have been there done that; more times then I care to reflect upon. And I have always been out there Heart and Soul. I am me Always me Kelly. I love; I laugh; I live; being happy and being saddened by things I would never expect.



But I AM Because I was blessed and given life by the sacrafice our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ died and blessed us all with.



Believe it or not that is not my to do or point. It is what it is.



My point is over the years and it has taken me many to realize we own nothing.

We are blessed with everything we allow to consume us.



Yet some of us due to all kinds of reasons lose their blessings, never had the education to know they even had them or health / wealth and circumstances out of their control make them in need. I personally learned long ago not to judge. Because my friend every single one of us live in a glass house. And you know that thing for every action is a reaction. Well that reaction of your judgment may just take your glass palace to the ground.



So Be kind always even when you don't want to.

Be free to give when you have the abilities. You can't take it with you. And it does not have to be money or material items. It could be a helping hand, a quiet ear to listen and not speak. A true I love you for who you are! You are not alone and you are loved.



Well I am thankful for anyone taking the time to read this post. I hope it gives you meaning and puts a smile on your face.



For years I have gotten into volunteering. With the City of Tampa, just with people or friends, with my church CCW and I personally can tell you time is more valuable then any dollar. I am a passionate person in everything I take on. And I believe that passion is a blessing and is what has carried me through.



But last year my passion stepped up when dear friends asked if I wanted to be part of taking home cooked boxed meals out to those living on the streets or in low income areas on Thanksgiving day. This is not handing out food for some to go home and cook. We gave them a meal. And I still remember with my granddaughter one man thanking us because they did not know how they were going to feed their children that day.



The little things are nothing compared to those crippling people right in our own back yard.



This year we are gearing up and planning to reach out right here in Spring Hill. A need that is far greater then most of us care to look at.

So far just in the 34606 zip area there have been 15 families displaced and lost their homes all with children. So far and we just started investigating there have been 76 students getting up and going to school for a better day that are currently considered homeless in Spring Hill.



I am sure there are more. Because I know coming from a single parent low income no income home. You just don't broadcast your not like everyone else.



In fact most will fight and do everything in their power; right , wrong or considered crazy to prove they can be like what is so called acceptable and normal.



My point for me maybe I will be a light to someone so they are blessed to do things God's way and not the ways of the world that are forced upon us.



So we are planning as mentioned and will know soon. Exactly which area's we will be cooking, boxing and taking food to.

And let them know they are loved.



Along with that I personally will be considering and praying just what would it take to adopt some of these folks for Christimas and get them in touch and share the meaning of Thanks and Gods love.



This will take effort. On my part and anyone who wants to come along. My goal is not to buy the needs of others. But get together an informational packet to help them network out to get back on their feet.



There are many that will eat a meal no matter what; but only some will really reach out to make that change that takes their own effort and desires.



There is a great need! I pray that others also dare to make a change.



I am thankful even if I fail that I can try one soul at a time.



Much love in Christ

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

2010-Rest In Peace my father (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Obituary for Harold Fairfield
1939 - 2010


Service:

Friday, September 03, 2010 9:30 AM
Holy Family Parish, Albany
Interment:

Our Lady of Angels Cemetery
Colonie, NY
Fairfield, Harold G.
Clifton Park – Harold “Harry” Fairfield, 71, passed away Wednesday September 1, 2010.
Harry was born in Albany the son of the late Julia (O’Brien) and Harold Gleason and was a lifelong area resident. Harry, aka “Buddy” to his family, worked as a laborer and also was a Lifetime Member of the Teamsters Union out of Albany. As an avid hunter and fisherman, he loved spending time in the woods and was a faithful friend.
Harry is survived by his sister Patricia E. Fairfield, three children: Julie (Jessie) Moore, Kelly Fairfield and Harold (Bo) Fairfield, six grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren. He is also survived by his best friend Jimmy Teller. Also, Harold is survived by many nieces and nephews and a beloved friend of fifty years. In addition to his parents, he was predeceased by his sisters: Irene Fairfield Tucker Dowen and Regina Fairfield Horton.
The family would like to thank the staff of the 6th Floor of Albany Memorial Hospital for their loving care and concern during Harold’s stay.
A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated Friday 9:30am at Holy Family Parish (previously St. Patrick’s). Interment will be in Our Lady of Angels Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Community Hospice of Albany 445 New Karner Rd., Albany, NY 12205. To leave a special message for the family online, visit www.NewcomerAlbany.com

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

2010-WHAT CAN HAPPEN IN SIX WEEKS(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

This has been the most stressful six weeks of my life ever.

Not only did I acquire the Community MRSA infection in my thumb and it went into the bone.
But during the time of remedy I sat for 2 -2 ½ hours twice daily being pumped full of antibiotics to kill the infection.

With that I acquired all sorts of little anomalies the medication generates in your body and just the feeling of being lethargic daily and trying to maintain proper diet so the medication did not kill my stomach totally.

During this time I choose to agree with the doctors that I could work but done so from home with the approval of management team.
Knowing I am a dedicated hard worker.

What was not anticipated upon was just how hard it was to trouble shoot and resolve some things that normally I get better when face to face.
Which if not for such an awesome team lead and/or peers. I would have melted down far more then the two times I just thought I could not take it any longer.

I am not one to hold anyone up because I don’t understand something or I just can’t get something to work in a timely manner that I would ever miss a date.

Yet the obstacles were there daily, and intensified with my health situation.

On top of trying to perform at the top, when knowing I was still so very new to this team that was enormous in comparison to all other projects I have been tasked with.
Not in the perspective of work, but the perspective of how many things are interdependent.

Then the weight of my personal emotions during this six week period, which I had to report every day twice a day for treatments.
When my mother went to the hospital and I could not travel to be there
When my daughter went to the hospital and I really could not do anything
When my sons uncle passed and I could not travel to the funeral
When my sister in law just needs company and I can not travel
When my biological father is hospitalized and placed on dialysis 3 times a day and even if I wanted I cannot travel
When I am preparing to move and have to wait for the picc line to be removed before I can prepare


I have thought much over these past several weeks; and if there is one thing for sure.

We never know what will happen next. Truly I was working out almost every day; feeling good, looking good and all of a sudden this life threatening issue that attached my thumb from touching something with a wound on my hand that had MRSA on it.

I am thankful that the images of clinging to my Spiritual father, arms wrapped around and holding to his legs for dear life, never to let go.
As he looks upon me like a child, telling me do worry yourself. As it is what it is and all will work out.

No matter what happens in this lifetime; there is and always will be the Father; Son and Holy spirit whenever you choose to call upon.

During this time it is best you learn to see; and hear the message.

For sometime you give everything; yet receive nothing back because of the lack of calm and quiet devotion.

Even during this time of turmoil you face. You still continue to reach and strive for everything and everyone else. Trying to gain resolutions to issues that are not your own.

They are all mine!

Follow your own words of wisdom to all you care about.

Let go; Let God And you may hold onto me as the child you are.

But I prefer you stand up and speak with me one on one. And listen to all I have to say; show and give.

For this six weeks is nothing compared to the enternity that awaits.

Monday, July 26, 2010

2010 - Easter Cardboard Testimonies - Christian Church in the Wildwood

http://vimeo.com/10738728

Link to Easter Cardboard Testimonies.

2010-Just when you think you have life under control! (alwaysmekelly)

My life has always had some sort of drama or event happening in or around me. So here I was working on getting fit this year.

Starting in January to lose the extra weight finally that I have been carrying around for the past few years. And nope not talking about all that old emotional baggage we sometimes hold onto and won't get rid of.  That my friends has been and is handed over to the higher power daily.  Talking about just getting caught up in life, and pity and everything else where you double your size and attitude in the process and never know it until one day you look at a picture and realize the person you see is not who you want to be or thought you were.

So over the next few months I learned allot when joining weight watchers.  Learning about reading labels, learned about calculating calories, learned about diabetic diets would benefit people far more then weight watchers counting.

But not for nothing less,  my goal was to get in shape, and working out at the gym 2 times a week, doing taekwondo once a week and watched my weight and over the next several months I proceeded to lose a total of 23 pounds. Man looking younger, feeling younger and good life is getting on track.  Keeping in mind this is for health reasons I would not let it get to my head.  But the excitement of how it even changed all my blood work and this was good.

Then that rug under my feet was slowly being tugged.  In April playing with my dog I didn't move my hand and my thumb got cut on his tooth.   It wasn't bad but I knew to watch it.   Soaking and cleaning it with alcohol it was healing nice. It was a little scratch healing awesome and during this time don't you know because I work so much with my hands I didn't keep it covered all the time and traveled all over.  From NY for my grandfathers funeral to Cocoa beach to visit someone I had not seen in 13 years. The the thumb looked good I was doing well and life was good.

Then one day in May I woke up and the thumb was a little tender and by the time the week was out I would be in urgent care and then a hand specialist. Why because not keeping a band aid on that little bitty scratch that was healing so good; that I cleaned daily with alcohol.  I still touched a door handle, shook a hand or touched something in my travels that had the MRSA bacteria on it. And it took off in my little bitty thumb. With that being said by the time I made it to the hand specialist, it had abscessed, and hurt and trust me when I say the thumb no longer went to my body.

So here I am now having minor surgery cleaning out the abscess and being put on 3 different antibiotics over the next several months to clean out the infection.  And although it was healing it just would not go away. What happens next is because of the meds I start feeling like junk and because of the minor surgery couldn't work the thumb so I then started losing my training and working out schedule. Once the thumb healed and the wound closed.  I started back..

But things just were not right.  Something just wasn't working. So finally they ordered an MRI to see what is going on with this on going saga.  Here a little bitty wound in April now is in July and still stirring up problems. And don't you know just when I am looking good and everything else was feeling good. That wonderful little wound of the thumb actually turned into MRSA in the thumb joint bone.  Better known as Osteomyelitis! I would say it can only happen to me but now that they have me in getting antibiotic therapy treatments with two major meds for the next six weeks twice a day for 2 hours each visit. So during these times of treatments I have met several people treated for this once super bug bacteria would only be acquired through hospital visits or nursing homes.

Which is so not true anymore in the year 2010.But that doesn't surprise me.  The world is a mess; from gushing oil into our oceans, wars in many corners of the world from military to drug..  So why wouldn't there be super bacteria that has invaded every place we touch, breath or go near. And why not me; to be one of the growing population to have a stupid little scratch healed over with bacteria inside waiting to rot my bones and kill me if I don't take care of it.     It may sound much! But it is.. If this next six weeks does not cure the issue then the hand specialist will have to go in twice into the thumb joint.  Once to scrape and drain the issue. And the second to fuse the joint and bone back together.

So my prayers is that this treatment works.   And share a very valuable simple lesson.  If you ever have any open wounds anywhere on your body.  Always keep them covered until they are gone.


WHAT IS MRSA What Is MRSA? Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) is a bacterium that causes infections in different parts of the body. It's tougher to treat than most strains of staphylococcus aureus -- or staph -- because it's resistant to some commonly used antibiotics.

The symptoms of MRSA depend on where you're infected. Most often, it causes mild infections on the skin, causing sores or boils. But it can also cause more serious skin infections or infect surgical wounds, the bloodstream, the lungs, or the urinary tract. Though most MRSA infections aren't serious, some can be life-threatening. Many public health experts are alarmed by the spread of tough strains of MRSA. Because it's hard to treat, MRSA is sometimes called a "super bug." A Closer Look at MRSA What Causes MRSA?Garden-variety staph are common bacteria that can live on our bodies. Plenty of healthy people carry staph without being infected by it. In fact, 25%-30% of us have staph bacteria in our noses. But staph can be a problem if it manages to get into the body, often through a cut. Once there, it can cause an infection. Staph is one of the most common causes of skin infections in the U.S. Usually, these are minor and don't need special treatment. Less often, staph can cause serious problems like infected wounds or pneumonia. Staph can usually be treated with antibiotics. But over the decades, some strains of staph -- like MRSA -- have become resistant to antibiotics that once destroyed it. MRSA was first discovered in 1961. It's now resistant to methicillin, amoxicillin, penicillin, oxacillin, and many other antibiotics.While some antibiotics still work, MRSA is constantly adapting. Researchers developing new antibiotics are having a tough time keeping up. Who Gets MRSA?MRSA is spread by contact. So you could get MRSA by touching another person who has it on the skin. Or you could get it by touching objects that have the bacteria on them. MRSA is carried, or "colonized," by about 1% of the population, although most of them aren't infected. MRSA infections are common among people who have weak immune systems and are in hospitals, nursing homes, and other heath care centers. Infections can appear around surgical wounds or invasive devices, like catheters or implanted feeding tubes. Rates of infection in hospitals, especially intensive care units, are rising throughout the world. In U.S. hospitals, MRSA causes more than 60% of staph infections. Community-Associated MRSA (CA-MRSA)But MRSA is also showing up in healthy people who have not been living in the hospital. This type of MRSA is called community-associated MRSA, or CA-MRSA. The CDC reports that in 2007, 14% of people with MRSA infections had CA-MRSA. Studies have shown that rates of CA-MRSA infection are growing fast. One study of children in south Texas found that cases of CA-MRSA had a 14-fold increase between 1999 and 2001.CA-MRSA skin infections have been identified among certain populations that share close quarters or experience more skin-to-skin contact. Examples are team athletes, military recruits, and prison inmates. However, more and more CA-MRSA infections are being seen in the general community as well, especially in certain geographic regions. It's also infecting much younger people. In a study of Minnesotans published in The Journal of the American Medical Association, the average age of people with MRSA in a hospital or healthcare facility was 68. But the average age of a person with CA-MRSA was only 23.


Well Thanks for reading and I hope this saga is helpful or you have gained some awareness. As I thought I knew all there was to know, and my normal germaphob self had everything under control. Guess I was fooled, this round. And who knows what is next but it is in God's hands and what ever path he carries me down. I will deal with. But sure hope I finished with this one.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

2010-Thoughts of the day (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Thoughts of the day during today's message speaking on true repentance.

Fear of judgment secludes the opportunity to live, laugh, grow, and love in all relationships.

A knife piercing the heart is the pain, when our children or loved one's fall and become trapped. And we can not get close enough to pull them back on track.

To cry so hard; nothing comes out!

Torn in pieces that will never fit back where they started.
is where one door closes and a new is opened wide if we dare take what we have and walk through.

Transparency is the key to peace of mind.

I will always fall short in deserving any of the glory of God!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

2010-Then and Now (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Though I may not know where I may end up before my time ends in this world; I shall never forget where I have been. Clearly knowing all the good things I have accomplished; yet always working to never repeat the mishaps I have been in or contributed to. Though I will never be perfect; but I will always do my best to hold fast to what is good and pure. Moving one step forward at a time. Thanking God for the love; the mercy and all my friends and family that give me strength to continue moving forward. Yet even this day the struggles some days to just give up and give in. I have always been like everyone else; yet so different. And again giving thanks for freedom of choice and the will to serve, and try doing what brings light around me. Instead of being consumed by the darkness of what is all so easy. The truth hurts at times and I personally have lived with many pains in this life. Pains I caused myself; pains that were just part of my childhood. Pains of those who I left behind when I came to Christ. But these pains allow me to grow daily, in Him and with my family and friends. Living; Learning; Loving.
Knowing this is all temporary. And I dare to work towards what is positive and good; and will struggle until my days end.

For I was blessed to come to this place called earth;
I was blessed to be what we call Human!

Though I may not know where I may end up before my time ends in this world; I shall never forget where I have been.

But I give all glory and thanks to the son Jesus Christ. Because I would be nothing if it were never for his sacrafice, Nothing if it were not for Him!


5-30-2010 kelly fairfield

Sunday, May 16, 2010

2010 - Doing Time written by By Joe Murphy doing Time

DOING TIME

CLOSE YOUR EYES AND IMAGINE THIS.........

IMAGINE A PLACE WHERE TIME DOESN'T EXIST.........

IMAGINE A PLACE WHERE YOUR HEART AND SOUL ARE CONFINED.....

AND THE ONLY THING YOU DO.. IS TIME!

IMAGINE A PLACE WHERE YOU HAD TO LEAVE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BEHIND, AND YOU FEEL THE
REAL MEANING OF OUT OF SIGHT AND OUT OF MIND.....

IMAGINE A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN ONLY BE MISSED, AND ONLY IN YOUR DREAMS CAN YOU GIVE THE ONE YOU LOVE A KISS.....

IMAGINE A PLACE WHRE YOU HOPE FOR A VISIT, AND PRAY FOR SOME MAIL; AND MONTHS PASS BY WITH NO AVAIL......


IMAGINE LOOING FOWARD TO THE END OF ANOTHER DAY; AND NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY; NOTHING EVER GOES YOUR WAY....

IMAGINE A PLACE FULL OF SO MUCH VIOLANCE AND HATE, AND GOD ONLY KNOWS YOUR ONE TRUE FATE......


IMAGINE A PLACE SO DARK AND SO COLD, AND YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN PUT ON HOLD.....

NOW IF YOU U CAN PICTURE ALL THIS IN YOUR MIND? THEN YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO IMAGINE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE....

TO DO TIME.......4-13-2010 BY JOE MURPHY DOING TIME

Joseph Murphy U27740 B2
103L
3222 Doc Witfield Road
Wewachitchka Fl. 32465

Friday, May 7, 2010

2010-Never enough time! (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

There is never enough time for people you love and care about.
And as long as these lungs of mine, suck air to sustain my life.

It will never get easy to see family and friends for brief periods of time to then have to say good bye and not know if or when you will ever see them again.


I thank God daily for every opportunity I have, just as I know that people do not come into my life for no reason.

No matter if they are good, bad or just different.


There is always something to learn and use to build memories.


I guess this is why I relate to music so often. Every song has it’s own story.
While for the most part any good song touches those parts of the story that are the living experiences you have went through or are going through.

Taking them and putting good sound and instruments to them is passion to one’s soul.

Those that keep you moving;
Those that bring tears to your eyes;
Those that make you yearn to hold on to your loved one ever so tight.


Yet the ultimate are those that trigger the love of Jesus and all that he has carried you through, when you lost sight.


These past couple weeks have been indescribable.

My grandfather died 2 weeks before my 48th birthday. In which I flew back to NY for the funeral.

This opportunity allowed me to see aunts, uncles and cousins that I have not seen some in 20 plus years.

Allowed me time with my beloved son and meeting in person the love of his life.
What a beautiful young lady she is. The Lord has placed my heart at rest knowing he is not alone through any of the trials he is to walk through. That he has a delightful caring friend at his side.

Yet at the same time, feeling the heart break seeing the pain my mother was going through, losing her father. Triggering wonderment as to what will happen with my mother. As she has filled her life with stuff to not be alone, and her entire home is packed full of just stuff, that really has no meaning.

Triggering thoughts in my own life, of how long I filled my own life with just stuff, people and actions that really just were there to fill a void and had no meaning.

Until I gave my life over to God and was reborn did I ever gain peace of mind.

But that is an entire different story line.

These past two weeks, had they occurred 10 – 15 years ago. I would not have handled any of this well or in a supportive manner. I would have been stressed and masked everything with excuses and drinking or something.


Yet so melancholy life is what it is.

I must have truly lost my mind; where else does life just happen and gets little reaction from me these days.

Instead of being sucked in, I choose to continue to look for where I can hopefully assist and bless others. I am no saint.. Just never wanting to give up my peace of mind again.

So I came back from a week in NY with little sleep, went back to work and took two more days off.

One for dental work to finish up the crowns that were way over due.

The day after to go see my once best friend, lover and what became my project to help him through. Would get me through all of the failures I was enduring at that stage of my life. We had not see each other for 12 years because of life happening.

But when it happened back then it ripped me to pieces. I was torn, hurt, angry, worried and knew I would never see him again.

Yet 12 years later we crossed paths, for us both to find we are not who we once were.

He lost everything in his self – destructive mission. Although it didn’t start out that way.

He got caught up with that whole grass is greener on the other side, and once I realized I pushed him away as far as I possibly could.

In this process the struggles with addictions and habits turned full blown and he almost lost his life. He did loss contact with everyone and lived on the streets for 2 years. Yet somehow God spared him!

During the twelve years I went through my own life happens.
Drugs, alcohol, really bad relationships. The cycle went on for some time until one day I just had enough.

Remembering a few years prior I had given my life to the Lord but just never fully acted on it and it was time.

Once I made that admission my life changed forever and I have been living for all that is good and serving for Christ where I can.

And now 13 years later not only am I blessed to see people I love dearly. But something is happening.

I do not know how to explain it, but so many people I care about are hurting, sick, dying.

Yet they are being put in my path, to share all I have. Just a few moments of my day.

Be it for coffee, a ride, just a chat, a walk, or even a few words out online.

There never really seems to be enough time in my day to do all I want to do.

And most days I feel what little I do, or say doesn’t add up to much.

But like on my birthday this year. So many people I care for made sure to send me a message, a note, a call or even little surprises of just wishing me well and blessings.

Which to me meant more then anything I could ever fill my life with that will not go with me when it is my turn to go home.


I don’t know how I feel about these past couple of weeks? Happy, sad most importantly blessed and know I need to make every moment count. Even when there will never be enough time in any day.

And that I am very thankful for these moments that I have been given. Even if there are no words to say. I am thankful

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly
   

Thursday, May 6, 2010

2010-Alcohol and Drug Abuse Hurts Everyone (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Dependence on alcohol and drugs is our most
serious national public health problem. It is
prevalent among rich and poor, in all regions of
the country, and all ethnic and social groups.
Millions of Americans misuse or are dependent
on alcohol or drugs. Most of them have families
who suffer the consequences, often serious, of
living with this illness. If there is alcohol or drug
dependence in your family, remember you are
not alone.
Most individuals who abuse alcohol or drugs
have jobs and are productive members of society
creating a false hope in the family that “it’s not
that bad.”
The problem is that addiction tends to worsen
over time, hurting both the addicted person and
all the family members. It is especially damaging
to young children and adolescents.
People with this illness really may believe that
they drink normally or that “everyone” takes
drugs. These false beliefs are called denial; this
denial is a part of the illness.


It Doesn’t Have to be That Way
Drug or alcohol dependence disorders are
medical conditions that can be effectively
treated. Millions of Americans and their families
are in healthy recovery from this disease.
If someone close to you misuses alcohol or
drugs, the first step is to be honest about the
problem and to seek help for yourself, your
family, and your loved one.
Treatment can occur in a variety of settings, in
many different forms, and for different lengths
of time. Stopping the alcohol or drug use is the
first step to recovery, and most people need help
to stop. Often a person with alcohol or drug
dependence will need treatment provided by
professionals just as with other diseases. Your
doctor may be able to guide you.
“What is Substance Abuse
Treatment? A Booklet for
Families” - was written especially
for family members and is available
through SAMHSA’s National
Helpline 1-800-662-HELP.




Family Intervention Can Start the Healing
Getting a loved one to agree to accept help, and
finding support services for all family members
are the first steps toward healing for the addicted
person and the entire family.
When an addicted person is reluctant to seek
help, sometimes family members, friends, and
associates come together out of concern and
love, to confront the problem drinker. They
strongly urge the person to enter treatment and
list the serious consequences of not doing so,
such as family breakup or job loss.
This is called “intervention.” When carefully
prepared and done with the guidance of a
competent, trained specialist, the family, friends
and associates are usually able to convince their
loved one – in a firm and loving manner – that
the only choice is to accept help and begin the
road to recovery.
People with alcohol or drug dependence
problems can and do recover. Intervention is
often the first step.

2010-Children Need Help Too!(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Children in families experiencing alcohol
or drug abuse need attention, guidance and
support. They may be growing up in homes in
which the problems are either denied or
covered up.
These children need to have their experiences
validated. They also need safe, reliable adults
in whom to confide and who will support
them, reassure them, and provide them with
appropriate help for their age. They need to
have fun and just be kids.

Families with alcohol and drug problems usually
have high levels of stress and confusion. High
stress family environments are a risk factor for
early and dangerous substance use, as well as
mental and physical health problems.


It is important to talk honestly with children
about what is happening in the family and to
help them express their concerns and feelings.
Children need to trust the adults in their lives
and to believe that they will support them.

Children living with alcohol or drug abuse in
the family can benefit from participating in
educational support groups in their school
student assistance programs. Those age 11
and older can join Alateen groups, which meet
in community settings and provide healthy
connections with others coping with similar
issues. Being associated with the activities of a
faith community can also help.


Resources for Information and Help
There is help available in your local community.
Look in the Yellow Pages under Alcoholism
for treatment programs and self-help groups.
Call your county health department and ask
for licensed treatment programs in your
community. Keep trying until you find the
right help for your loved one, yourself and your
family. Ask a family therapist for a referral to a
trained interventionist or, call the Intervention


Resource Center at 1-888-421-4321.
Self-Help Groups
Al-Anon Family Groups
www.al-anon.org
Alateen
www.alateen.org
Alcoholics Anonymous
www.aa.org
Adult Children of Alcoholics
www.adultchildren.org
For a pastoral counseling center in your
community, visit www.aapc.org
For More Information
SAMHSA’s National Helpline
1-800-662-HELP
www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov
National Association for Children
of Alcoholics
www.nacoa.org
National Council on Alcoholism and
Drug Dependence
www.ncadd.org
Alcohol and
Drug Addiction
Happens in the
Best of Families
…and It Hurts
It doesn’t have to be that way

2010-We All Need a Savior (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Everyone who know's me, knows I have a huge heart when it comes to service or those in need.

First of all I Thank Jesus every day and especially yesterday for the outpouring of birthday wishes from the many family and friends, as I wish I could have been with each and everyone of them. I am blessed beyond more then words can ever describe. And for this I can never give enough priase or service in His our precious Fathers name.

On the same token; God allows me to know, see and be touched by people from all walks of life. I had no originating big plans to do a road trip on Wednesday to Cocoa beach. Yet about a week out, it just started turning out that way.

I was blessed with seeing people I knew for years and cared deeply about after almost 13 years of losing touch.

But I was also blessed by seeing first hand how many people truly need prayer and peace in their lives. Cocoa Beach is absolutely beautiful, yet surrounded by many that are homeless and living in, on and around the beach.

The way of life in and around the beach are these people trying to find a $1.00 not for food, but to go to one of the many local bars, because this is all they have.

I talked to many of these people yesterday. As when you know people who live in the middle of such environments. They become part of a family looking out for each other. Kind of like Christians are supposed to look out for each other.

I can tell you, "They are people too, they started out one day or evening just as we do!" They have hearts, pains, joys love.

I don't know what happened along their travels. I just know my prayer and I ask prayer partners that you too lift up all who are down on their luck, all that are lost and needy.

I do have an issue when we fill our lives with drugs and/or alcohol. I have a problem we have so many lost and don't see that the drugs and alcohol is only what makes issues or makes them worse. I have an issue we have so many lost and needy people out in the world. And it is only going to continue to grow.

I ask for Prayer for that the will of God touches this community; and all others that are hit so hard in these economic times. Praying people see just how blessed they truly are and instead of giving their brother or sister a buck for a beer they somehow make a postive impact to help change this bleak situation.

I pray my brothers and sisters that have made it up and out. Know how loved and blessed they are and all they have to offer. They are worth more then anything material this world can bring.

I feel the joy I am blessed to know that we all fall down, yet with faith we hold tight and climb back out of the ruts this world throws us in.


Lord we all in this human race need a savior; and you know we need your mercy and grace to ever survive.


So as I placed this note out on the prayer list for fellow partners to pray.
And a friend noted this sounds more like a blog then a request.

I give it to you Father God; for all who read this know, we are all in need of a savior and forever continued prayers of your mercy and grace.

Thank you 
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

Thursday, April 29, 2010

2010_This Life(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

I would never wish or act to change who I am this day!

Nor would I ever change any of the experiences or people I have been blessed with in this life.

I have laughed, cried, couldn't get enough, and wished at times I could die.

Loved so hard I thought I would; tried so hard never accepted when I could not.

Seen more before being a teen then most see their lifetime.

Avoided more mishaps and so many things that could have left me trapped.

Who knows why; for me for you. It doesn't really matter. As you are no judge of me, nor I of you in what you do.

I just know who I have to call out to.


I have to believe! I could go for hours and give you life stories why.

I have to believe! Because it has a far greater peace, then the drama, tears and lies.


I don't know where I am going. I do know where I have been.

Loving every soul time over time again. That will never change although we may never again meet.

You will forever be in my heart and a forever called my friend.

Life happens; For all of us it does. Noting you have to work to hold what is good, this is so true.

Sure I am not fool; I may not care of what was. But I do limit where I now actively become involved.

I am doing the best I can; with all I get to work with.
And I am so very okay with this. Because without all of it, the yesterdays, today's and notions for tomorrow.

I would have missed my blessings, my children, my life and never made it to being me; alwaysmeKelly!

And for this; I thank my maker; the passion of our Christ.

Who knows if it was that movie that forever changed my life.

I can only tell you. Each and everyone of us will find our own time when the peace comes in their life..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcGJb-mPMmg




With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

Monday, April 12, 2010

2010 Passing Thought(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Who would have ever thought the things you put far behind you;
You realize were a blessing.

The waking screaming nightmare that woke the entire house.
Was the reality of the demons being set free that once tortured you as a child.

Yet years later you realize the person you were the most comfortable with.
as well as yourself just had too much going on to notice what was trying to be set free.

Thank you for loving me my father; God of the universe. For giving me life.

Good, bad; known and unknown.

There is so much I could write about. Desires of the future; lost loves of the past. Happiness of children; sadness when they are grown and you are all alone.

I can only say the joy comes in the morning. May I always remain strong and keep moving forward. No matter what is in the next dawn.

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

Friday, March 26, 2010

2010-HOUSING CRISIS!(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

I refinanced my home of 10 years in 2006 - a fixed for 2 years then arm.

My plan was to refi to a fixed.

Noting all monies went back into the home, paid bills and supported my daughter and granddaughter.

In 2007 I had a major unexpected heart surgery. My entire life, finances were changed immediately. I tried for 2 years starting the same week I came home from the hospital, to get the mortgage company to just allow me to make payments every 2 weeks so I would have enough money to pay bills, buy my meds and pay for the continued doctors care I was under.

They told me if I wanted to change my payment I needed to be refinanced. with that I went everywhere including trying to be remodified for 2 years. Getting ripped off from the first company New Hope Modifications and the second company Save My Home USA although got very little out of me, must of also been a scam because they were shut down.


I went to local banks and did not qualify, my house was too upside down and no one would ever refinance it; much less now my credit with all the extra financial burdens my credit after years of fixing and protecting was shot!

When I fell behind because the loan now at an 11.25% subject to rise to 16% interest and Litton Loan Company would not accept the bi weekly payments even when they were getting more.


Well one day when I came home from work I found a stack of papers on my table, where my daughters friend who was visiting signed for them..Duh!!! What are you doing in my house signing for anything that does not pertain to you?

Well besides that shock, Litton Loan started the forclosure process on me September 2009.


I found myself slowly feeling the stress and pains of everything I worked for falling out from under me.

Issues of a 1974 built home continued to surface, from plumbing to electrical.

Pool issues; Oh how can I maintain, and pay and live? Why will the loan company not work with me. I have a good job, I am willing I just need a little assistance.

Well when I started feeling sick; and my health put me borderline of a heart attack I couldn't sleep, I was doing everything I could handle it. Yet internally the blessing of making it through major surgery to keep me alive would soon be a memory.

I couldn't take it anymore. I moved out 10-2009 of my home after 10 years of blood, sweat and tears and obtained a realtor that the Loan company was working with to do a short sale. Of course nothing is moving in today's environment.

There have been a handful of interested viewers, but no offers but the actual realitor offering cash. But Litton said that was far too low.

Here there are people that I know that have been living in their homes for 2+ years not paying a dime; and not once been served or made a payment.


And here I work 7 days a week, wanted to make my payments and was 3 months behind, with a stack full of medical documentation proving I was not just a dead beat and Litton is expediting the foreclosure or acquiring the place back on 3-29-2010 so they can sell it in foreclosure.

In the mean time my credit is trashed, my heart was broken; but I thank God daily for all that is temporary will mean nothing in the next life.

Although I no longer have the security I once felt. Knowing it doesn't matter what you really come from, or where you take your day to day.

If that wave of misfortune slams you. I pray you are strong enough to swim up.
Because our state and government will not be there to give you a hand and assist no matter your age, race, creed, culture or anything else they may judge with.

Did I mention yes I sent many letters to our local government officials over the 2 year process. I made phone calls sent letters, sent proof of all that I had gone through. To Litton, To congress, to home re-modification programs, to banks. And all they could do is refer me to a credit counseling center with apologies.it got me was wore out and the big fat SORRY. Well hello! I have no credit debt.. I have hospital, doctors, student loan, car and once a mortgage.

The moral of this story; Plan for all that could go wrong! Don't think you can handle thing, Or that our state and government will assist you in a crisis. Know that your friends and family and neighbors are also going through stuff. And can not be expected to bail you out of choices you made thinking you had everything under control.

But most importantly... If you don't have a relationship with Jesus; GET ONE! Because in the end Prayer, Faith and Hope is all there is to see you through day to day.

Thanks

With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

Sunday, January 3, 2010

2009-2010-Acknowledgments of the Heart (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

Over the past few days coming towards the end of the year.

I looked around feeling the pains of all those things I thought I could do on my own.
That turned out all wrong.

Tears in my eyes so much more often then I ever wanted I won't lie.

Filthy rich according to foreign standards and a beautiful job that exercises the mind.

Yet financially destroyed after so many labored hours, because alone I did not ask for his guidance. Instead me cruising that highway bitter sweet yet striving.

For what in the end. I ask myself now holding on to God's hand.

For I am loved at a distance but without Him.

I have nothing, no one who really knows or cares who I am.

The last few days of 2009, So often the tricks of the mind almost broke me.
Wondering how I got stuck in this lie.

Digging deeper the pains feeling the failures of parent hood that had rose.
Two beautiful children one can not hold on to the need of a future, staying on that long dark road. The other I hardly see, yet conversations state he is holding his own.

Remembering when I thought I would die time and time again.
And how I would pray to Our God to just let me see that they are grown.

Then one day my prayers change to the grandchild that has come along.

Blessings from above all children are. They never ask to be here. Yet our loneliness, selfishness, need to live are given the right.

No one can ever tell you exactly what the blessing brings. As it is only from above, something so out of reach so out of sight.

I never planned my life would be where it is today.

Sure I have it going on; the surface allows me to vent all my desires all my needs.
Giving back to anyone in God's needs.

Or at least so I try to please.

Staying so busy so I don't have to think.

Yet when you are in love with someone so far out of reach.

There is nothing more you can do. But emotionally bleed.

Cut's so deep, the love just oozes in a slow painful smolder.

Just knowing they will never be your crying shoulder.


The Lord has blessed me in this life. Walking me out of darkness so many times, leaving me to choose that great divide.

I love my Lord, Jesus Christ the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
He has my soul and will never let go.

Yet although I finally got it after so many test trials.
I go down with the best of them. Feeling what is missed in the flesh. Feeling all those things I take so personal, such as choices a child makes. Thinking about the healing and giving of life, cervical cancer, four hour heart surgery. How does my God know what to do, how does he know what is like. When will I gain is full purpose for my life. I think how stupid I have been a time or two. Knowing he has me right where I should be at least how I convince myself from loneliness blues.

I love life more then myself at times.
I love people all colors, all sizes all personalities even in these times.

I love that special someone, a man after Gods own heart. Yet to say he even notices me is truly the horse before the cart.


My family, my friends when I walk out these doors.
I can't wait for heaven where there will not even be walls anymore.

I don't know where or what tomorrow will bring.
I do know I make efforts to never let go of those whom I have been blessed with in the yesterdays, todays or even tonight's.

No matter where their heart is wrong or right.
My prayers are daily they may soon all see through God's eyes.

So no matter how sad I feel alone in time.
No matter how many tears I can't hold back when those people I love move over to the promise land. I pray as the song my strength that comes from him truly will allow me to Rise when he calls my name. That I may never give up or in; to what is temporary. No matter what it is that I am missing.

May I continue to love at a distance. And be given the spirit to acknowledge if my time is ever given. I recognize the signs so I do not miss him again.

So prayerfully I share the goodbyes to 2009. Opening to 2010 my heart, my arms and eyes.

Prayers for those who are close and so sick and I know are soon to die.

Prayers for those thinking they can get a piece of what I have in this ride, knowing it is their own fools game, wondering why they even try.

Prayers for those that are new sharing their journeys to my eyes. May their experiences bless more then a passing moment in their life.

Prayers who continually tell me to keep getting that religion. When they are so far off, may they sometime feel the peace in my relationship with Him I have been given.

Prayers for those Lord who lost what they seem to be their entire life. They partners, their careers, their everything it's just not right. May they be blessed with your new love.

May I continue to be your child Lord Jesus Christ. May I learn to accept the blessings of your beacon of light.

May I share all that is good. May Lord my hearts desires be fully handled by your site.

May you accept my thanks for all I have been blessed with and to do, for others seeing the joy on their face. May that joy expand to more then just my heart's place.

Crazy I am, I was, I will always be. Be it 2009 or 2010 I am always just me.


With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

2010_FRIENDS HANDBOOK

This is some good stuff....



HANDBOOK 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.

Monday, December 14, 2009

2009-IT IS OKAY(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

It Is Okay
It is Okay right now
you always get what you want.
you always get what you need.
you get what you see if you need or want something
you want you get to and it is not fair to me.



Written by Jalexus V 10-2009 for her second grade music class assignment

2009-Happy Birthday Jesus(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

We often pray for our family, friends and loved ones. Praying for those who are sick, injured or going through some crises.
We pray for end results, or a fix to something that is turning our lives upside down.

Praying for material things, or love from the unknown. Do we pray more at Christmas time? Do we expect more?

As we go through the lacking efforts of just acknowledging and putting Christ every part of every one of our days.

We raise concerns that we are taking IN GOD WE TRUST out of the public eye. We raise concerns that someone wants to be different and make it a law we can not have CHRISTMAS during the CHRISTMAS season. But everything is now a holiday.

Yet do we really step out and acknowledge that “Jesus is the reason for every season!”

Sure we all believe in something. I am not here to judge you; I know what I believe and what works for me.

I am no authority; but I know what has worked for me.
So why can’t we have:

 Prayers for our father that May He never get tired of our human lacking ways and inabilities.
 Prayers for those who judge and determine they have all the answers and quickly condemn or have something better for the people, places and things they encounter on a daily basis.
 Prayers for all our care givers, and care takers. May God's strength and will continue to fill their lives, allowing all of us the blessings of their services at one time or another.
 Prayers for those with addictions that they feel so out of touch they have to numb themselves from all they deal with on a daily basis.
 Prayers for our Service Men and Women; away from the comforts of home, in the middle of all that will be forever imprinted on their hearts and minds.
 Prayers for the throw away parents, May God teach you abstinence, and/or ways to protect the blessings you are just not ready to accept.
 Prayers for the evil minds; that God has mercy on your souls, and warms your hearts to stop all the harmful sick things you are doing.
 Prayers for the cheaters, liars, and thieves may God give you strength, courage and will to want to do what is right.
 Prayers for the takers, which must continually use up what others have, yet can not get out and do for themselves or show they can do for others.

That doesn’t mean I don’t believe in prayers for all that are in need, desperate, hurting, sick, dying.

 Prayers for the husband or wife who has been together for years and one will now suffer loneliness as the other has gone ahead.
 Prayers for the children, who are beaten, broken, tormented and tortured, left to cry in the dark if they are even able to make a sound at all.
 Prayers for the people who are suffering issues with mental illness; afraid and alone in the world of their own.
 Prayers for the person unemployed, not knowing how they will feed or house their family, feeling so strapped they just can not go on.
 Prayers for all that can never see past the darkness this world sometimes over whelms us with.

Thank you Lord for protecting our nations; thank you for allowing we mere specs in the grand scheme of things to even one ability of your life and wisdom.

Not only on this day; but every day you allow us life and freedom of choice.
For I will never be a scholar when it comes to knowing even a sliver of what you really have done for me or anyone else of this world.
But I know I have been blessed in more ways then I can ever repay.

I will still want things I should not have, I will still do things I should have never done.
And in the end I know despite even my best efforts on my best days. I or anyone I know could never deserve your blessings.

Yet you have and continue to bless me and my family and friends and people I may never know. THANK YOU

Happy Birthday Jesus
During this CHRISTmas season and every day~
 With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me  Kelly

Sunday 5-11-2025_PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe (AlwaysMeKelly)

  ***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains and made available for public consumption from pu...