Time slowly creeping up on me.
Making me think all the harder.
Often I sometimes wonder.
Would it be worth any soul to barter?
My life style so unique; Yet so the same.
The daily things of life; leave me feeling at times I will go insane.
I started out so rough and hard.
Lord knows in the beginning; I did not choose that card.
Yet, here I am so alone.
Even when I have my family, my children, my home.
I want someone special, creative, dedicated.
I want someone, I can trust for anything, anytime.
Not to later, only be somehow degraded.
My female tendencies need someone handsome, someone good, someone loving and strong.
My history tells me no way will it ever happen; just stay alone.
What shall I do with the emotions I hide?
I have no more tears to cry; but only great pride.
For I have overcome so many obstacles along this ride.
This endless empty feeling will awlays be to me an eternity in time.
Kelly Fairfield 3-1999
Sunday, August 16, 2009
1999-NEVER TELL(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Day after day, time after time.
Looking at your picture makes me wish you were once mine.
Remembering those days, from way back when.
Remembering how I feel now, is the same from then.
Why we never became a couple. Who will ever know?
But friends of the heart always, it was never a show.
Through relationships, those have gone a wry.
All the way to friends or relatives whom have left us behind.
We are still gald to be in touch, even after all this time.
Thrills and chills run up and down my spine.
When I see you as a man who is so devine.
What could I ever be thinking here?
I ask and wonder why?
For rumor's have it you always loved those barbie doll types.
Those younger then I. Something's I just will never be.
So, why even think about what tings could be.
I will only finish my life with my dreams;
Imagining is much safer, even if the cowards' way for me.
KBF 3-1999
Looking at your picture makes me wish you were once mine.
Remembering those days, from way back when.
Remembering how I feel now, is the same from then.
Why we never became a couple. Who will ever know?
But friends of the heart always, it was never a show.
Through relationships, those have gone a wry.
All the way to friends or relatives whom have left us behind.
We are still gald to be in touch, even after all this time.
Thrills and chills run up and down my spine.
When I see you as a man who is so devine.
What could I ever be thinking here?
I ask and wonder why?
For rumor's have it you always loved those barbie doll types.
Those younger then I. Something's I just will never be.
So, why even think about what tings could be.
I will only finish my life with my dreams;
Imagining is much safer, even if the cowards' way for me.
KBF 3-1999
1999 - TIMELESS MILES (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
So far away, yet so close at heart.
A friendship when thought of; feels as though there was never a day apart.
Always so cool, comfortable easy going open in every way.
Dwelling on this is how it has always been, even back in the day.
Years have come to past.
Romances that never last
Ups and downs sent us in whirlwinds.
Some control some as if were puppets or someone else's clown.
Survivors we are.
No matter how easy or hard.
Overcoming it all, no matter how tough the part.
Always aware to survive we must toughen our heart.
Always hiding our needs and wants.
Painting a picture; so well like some beautiful piece of art.
So now we cross path's again.
Does it end here, or should we question.
Where is it to start?
AlwaysMeKelly 3-1999
A friendship when thought of; feels as though there was never a day apart.
Always so cool, comfortable easy going open in every way.
Dwelling on this is how it has always been, even back in the day.
Years have come to past.
Romances that never last
Ups and downs sent us in whirlwinds.
Some control some as if were puppets or someone else's clown.
Survivors we are.
No matter how easy or hard.
Overcoming it all, no matter how tough the part.
Always aware to survive we must toughen our heart.
Always hiding our needs and wants.
Painting a picture; so well like some beautiful piece of art.
So now we cross path's again.
Does it end here, or should we question.
Where is it to start?
AlwaysMeKelly 3-1999
1999-MONOGAMY(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Appetizingly desirable, I see you before me.
Hungering for the over due, over needed, hidden pleasure, of a deep passionate kiss.
So long awaited for, hoping someday it will always be.
Tantalizing images of foreplay; sparkle in my mind.
The aggressive smooth movements, feeding of my once hidden desires.
So much alike, when in motions there is no questions of any kind.
For as I melt away, you've taken control.
Leading me to places so un-foretold.
Each taste of your skin sends chills so far within.
Lusting for more, each time reminds me.
It is only you; I could ever adore.
Touching, tasting, exploring over time.
What are not only your fantasies, but also mine.
Never getting tired, or bored.
No matter what the outcome would find.
Always to show.
What did work now will make the next oh so ever divine.
Hours on end, my companion, my lover, my friend.
My desires are strong.
My will is to the end.
Taking; every drop, of energy flowing.
Nevertheless, passionately yet expressly slow.
Feeling each movement; savoring every taste.
Loving as each time was our first.
Holding memories, before we ever go.
Of those over whelming desires.
Fueling the hearts burning on fire.
Unity; just one when we wed; we become.
Nothing will ever make that come un-done.
KBF4-1999 Only if it was blessed by the father, spirit and Holy Son(2018)
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me Kelly
Hungering for the over due, over needed, hidden pleasure, of a deep passionate kiss.
So long awaited for, hoping someday it will always be.
Tantalizing images of foreplay; sparkle in my mind.
The aggressive smooth movements, feeding of my once hidden desires.
So much alike, when in motions there is no questions of any kind.
For as I melt away, you've taken control.
Leading me to places so un-foretold.
Each taste of your skin sends chills so far within.
Lusting for more, each time reminds me.
It is only you; I could ever adore.
Touching, tasting, exploring over time.
What are not only your fantasies, but also mine.
Never getting tired, or bored.
No matter what the outcome would find.
Always to show.
What did work now will make the next oh so ever divine.
Hours on end, my companion, my lover, my friend.
My desires are strong.
My will is to the end.
Taking; every drop, of energy flowing.
Nevertheless, passionately yet expressly slow.
Feeling each movement; savoring every taste.
Loving as each time was our first.
Holding memories, before we ever go.
Of those over whelming desires.
Fueling the hearts burning on fire.
Unity; just one when we wed; we become.
Nothing will ever make that come un-done.
KBF4-1999 Only if it was blessed by the father, spirit and Holy Son(2018)
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me Kelly
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
2009_Believe ~(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
If we just can't see something in front of us doesn't mean we can't have it~ Just take time and look out over the horizon! Hope much like that of a pre-dawn sunrise~ As it is still dark and gray before us we look out over our shoulder; Where God has beautifully colored skies bursting with energy waiting to display!
Never Let go of faith even when you cannot explain it!
He has Always allowed me to be; As I Am; As I Was; As I Can Be; Most Importantly ~ Always Just Me ~ Kelly
Coming together is a beginning;
keeping together is progress;
working together is success.
--Henry Ford
Never Let go of faith even when you cannot explain it!
He has Always allowed me to be; As I Am; As I Was; As I Can Be; Most Importantly ~ Always Just Me ~ Kelly
Coming together is a beginning;
keeping together is progress;
working together is success.
--Henry Ford
Sunday, August 9, 2009
2001-Dear Jesus(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Dear Jesus;
I am writing to you today, because I feel more and more I never really can get out what I need to say, when I pray. Needing confirmation for over the past couple years have been so eventful.
My prayers of goals and dreams have been filled if not run over and plentiful.
But lately I am not sure what to do or how to feel.
From illness that has attacked so many friends and family, to even if my relationship is truly lasting or for real. There have been so many changes in my life. I often do life in strife.
And although I pray daily to you. I still really don't know what it is I am suppose to do.
So often I have allowed myself to live in conflict or meaningless challenge.
Constantly strugling to just hold on. Feeling what is next? Sometimes what more to go on?
I ask with understanding I know I have control. I know I should act upon what is deep within my soul.
There is no doubt of who I am. There is no doubt of my love for my children, my family, that special somone you will someday bless me with. But what is it oh Father above. When your children have went away, and there is so many disruptions, and discouragement and always questions of uncertainty.
What is the answer Father, to all the what ifs, and do they really need answers.
What about the craziness and doubt that is created from this whirlwind of life?
Especially watching all those around you become ill, dying always leaving you.
I ask you dear Jesus to please end the struggles, please help me find that peace of mind.
I am writing to you today, because I feel more and more I never really can get out what I need to say, when I pray. Needing confirmation for over the past couple years have been so eventful.
My prayers of goals and dreams have been filled if not run over and plentiful.
But lately I am not sure what to do or how to feel.
From illness that has attacked so many friends and family, to even if my relationship is truly lasting or for real. There have been so many changes in my life. I often do life in strife.
And although I pray daily to you. I still really don't know what it is I am suppose to do.
So often I have allowed myself to live in conflict or meaningless challenge.
Constantly strugling to just hold on. Feeling what is next? Sometimes what more to go on?
I ask with understanding I know I have control. I know I should act upon what is deep within my soul.
There is no doubt of who I am. There is no doubt of my love for my children, my family, that special somone you will someday bless me with. But what is it oh Father above. When your children have went away, and there is so many disruptions, and discouragement and always questions of uncertainty.
What is the answer Father, to all the what ifs, and do they really need answers.
What about the craziness and doubt that is created from this whirlwind of life?
Especially watching all those around you become ill, dying always leaving you.
I ask you dear Jesus to please end the struggles, please help me find that peace of mind.
2003 -Rationalization(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
I can say in justification, I have had it all at one time or another. And for whatever the reason. Lost it, gave it away, or had it taken.
For whatever the reason I just never realized. Perhaps because I was a dreamer, believing in things that just could not fully manifest.
Wrong timing, wrong people, perhaps lack of knowledge.
No one will ever really know, as there is no time to go back.
The only sure thing, is everything I have seen, or done. People, places, things.
They have all made me who I am today.
Perhaps changing from a dreamer to living alone, with my imagination.
Perhaps a more lovable, caring emotional soul.
You see life can give and take everything you accomplish, if you let others in, to do so.
But nothing or no one could ever take the achievements that are forever buried in your soul.
Keep me at a distance, if you care not to be real, be it love, life or just a relationship.
Because I am without a doubt, for real, not looking for anything to take or steal.
I am the one, if you open that door, convincing me; I will make you always want more.
I am love, passion, need and desire. Unique admiration, silent adaptation.
Knowing if you make it in. You become the one and only - forever more.
Just remember this time; it is my savior who now guard my hearts door!
kbf 2003
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me Kelly
For whatever the reason I just never realized. Perhaps because I was a dreamer, believing in things that just could not fully manifest.
Wrong timing, wrong people, perhaps lack of knowledge.
No one will ever really know, as there is no time to go back.
The only sure thing, is everything I have seen, or done. People, places, things.
They have all made me who I am today.
Perhaps changing from a dreamer to living alone, with my imagination.
Perhaps a more lovable, caring emotional soul.
You see life can give and take everything you accomplish, if you let others in, to do so.
But nothing or no one could ever take the achievements that are forever buried in your soul.
Keep me at a distance, if you care not to be real, be it love, life or just a relationship.
Because I am without a doubt, for real, not looking for anything to take or steal.
I am the one, if you open that door, convincing me; I will make you always want more.
I am love, passion, need and desire. Unique admiration, silent adaptation.
Knowing if you make it in. You become the one and only - forever more.
Just remember this time; it is my savior who now guard my hearts door!
kbf 2003
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me Kelly
2006-What About The Children(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Monday, May 22, 2006
What About The Children --1995 copyright Heart and Soul
Category: Writing and Poetry
What about the children?
Have enough people stopped to think?
Look at the futre; like a giant ship that's about to sink. You ask what is this all about, as if you don't know.
Tell me, have you taken the time to see which way yours will go?
It is not just today! --It started long ago. But as time progresses it worsens or goes so very slow.
Babes on destruction, unleashed children everywhere.
What happened to those who do think of their mistakes, those who really did care?
It is not our children's fault; truly it did not start there. They are learning from the surroundings right here.
Think for a minute; let's not push blame. Each generation passes it as quickly, as a passing thunderous rain.
Let me now get to the point, to the bottom line! It is YOU'RE FAULT and it is MINE!
Although as a child, I did not have much of the best. I as a parent will always try not to treat my children with anything less than unconditional love, honor knowledge, and respect.
Oh, what a struggle it has been--Lost loves, material items, sometimes even my mind. Yet the only true destination and peace was to live for my children and keep them alive.
But most importantly, trying to teach them the right way to survive.
No bitterness, hatred, blame or even lies.
I don't take pity on what happened in my past; that would only haunt me with memories I wish not to last. You see; You never really forget the past. Only grow from it, using a mask; with hopes and dreams all you need to last.
So I try to learn and teach as much as any woman or man. But it's so sad and scares me to think why so few others will or even can!
I am far from perfect! As so many of us are.
But perfection takes time, and you will se the distant journey is really not that far.
All it takes is the time to find out who you really are; Where you want to be, and only at that point you really can start to see.
We should all be working together, to stay healthy and alive.
Let's try to stop the devastation and destruction to all the children around.
It only takes a minute to forget our own self-pity and hear their wonderful sound.
Or for some just to put those drinks or drugs down.
Work with the children; Listen! They have such incredible minds. And the best part is; they are OUR future. They will also help you and me Please just give them the time.
What About The Children --1995 copyright Heart and Soul
Category: Writing and Poetry
What about the children?
Have enough people stopped to think?
Look at the futre; like a giant ship that's about to sink. You ask what is this all about, as if you don't know.
Tell me, have you taken the time to see which way yours will go?
It is not just today! --It started long ago. But as time progresses it worsens or goes so very slow.
Babes on destruction, unleashed children everywhere.
What happened to those who do think of their mistakes, those who really did care?
It is not our children's fault; truly it did not start there. They are learning from the surroundings right here.
Think for a minute; let's not push blame. Each generation passes it as quickly, as a passing thunderous rain.
Let me now get to the point, to the bottom line! It is YOU'RE FAULT and it is MINE!
Although as a child, I did not have much of the best. I as a parent will always try not to treat my children with anything less than unconditional love, honor knowledge, and respect.
Oh, what a struggle it has been--Lost loves, material items, sometimes even my mind. Yet the only true destination and peace was to live for my children and keep them alive.
But most importantly, trying to teach them the right way to survive.
No bitterness, hatred, blame or even lies.
I don't take pity on what happened in my past; that would only haunt me with memories I wish not to last. You see; You never really forget the past. Only grow from it, using a mask; with hopes and dreams all you need to last.
So I try to learn and teach as much as any woman or man. But it's so sad and scares me to think why so few others will or even can!
I am far from perfect! As so many of us are.
But perfection takes time, and you will se the distant journey is really not that far.
All it takes is the time to find out who you really are; Where you want to be, and only at that point you really can start to see.
We should all be working together, to stay healthy and alive.
Let's try to stop the devastation and destruction to all the children around.
It only takes a minute to forget our own self-pity and hear their wonderful sound.
Or for some just to put those drinks or drugs down.
Work with the children; Listen! They have such incredible minds. And the best part is; they are OUR future. They will also help you and me Please just give them the time.
2006-FAITH(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
FAITH
Current mood:Listening to puppies play
Category: Religion and Philosophy
FAITH IS HARD WORK
THE HITS JUST KEEP COMING!
IF NOT TO YOU BUT TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU.
IT IS A MUST YOU HOLD TRUE TO THE WORD OF JESUS CHRIST AND THE BLESSINGS THAT FAITH IS NOT OF OUR OWN THAT GETS US THROUGH FOR THAT GETS US INTO TROUBLE.
BUT FAITH OF OUR GOD THAT CARRIES US.
FAITH OUR GOD WILL WORK EVERYTHING OUT; FOR THE SOUL MUST REMAIN DEDICATED AND STEADFAST EVEN MORE SO THEN THAT TO OUR OWN PHYSICAL BEING. WE KNOW WHEN WE SLACK, WE ARE UNDER ATTACK.. AND IT IS FAR TOO HARD TO GET BACK.
kbf
FAITH
Current mood:Listening to puppies play
Category: Religion and Philosophy
FAITH IS HARD WORK
THE HITS JUST KEEP COMING!
IF NOT TO YOU BUT TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU.
IT IS A MUST YOU HOLD TRUE TO THE WORD OF JESUS CHRIST AND THE BLESSINGS THAT FAITH IS NOT OF OUR OWN THAT GETS US THROUGH FOR THAT GETS US INTO TROUBLE.
BUT FAITH OF OUR GOD THAT CARRIES US.
FAITH OUR GOD WILL WORK EVERYTHING OUT; FOR THE SOUL MUST REMAIN DEDICATED AND STEADFAST EVEN MORE SO THEN THAT TO OUR OWN PHYSICAL BEING. WE KNOW WHEN WE SLACK, WE ARE UNDER ATTACK.. AND IT IS FAR TOO HARD TO GET BACK.
kbf
2006-RELATIONSHIPS(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Relationships
Current mood: complacent
Category: Religion and Philosophy
It does not matter what type of a relationship it may be. It only matters that we all understand it will take work not only from you but for me.
For if you wish not to partake taking the chances towards something that may be quick or forever last.
Then don't be a fool to yourself and when it comes to others. Have no plans to be a fake.
Soul searching we all must do. I am no different then any of you.
Divorce this is in it's own classified game. For over time what once was often changes leaving our purpose in the beginning far behind.
None of us plan to be with someone to later be alone.
But we all must not dwell but think of ways to correct on what possibly went wrong.
Bad choices, never thinking, changes over time. I can tell you this be it in this one or my next.
All future relationships must be met with our brother Jesus, with our fathers ultimate blessing from God and this does not matter on any kind.
KBF
Relationships
Current mood: complacent
Category: Religion and Philosophy
It does not matter what type of a relationship it may be. It only matters that we all understand it will take work not only from you but for me.
For if you wish not to partake taking the chances towards something that may be quick or forever last.
Then don't be a fool to yourself and when it comes to others. Have no plans to be a fake.
Soul searching we all must do. I am no different then any of you.
Divorce this is in it's own classified game. For over time what once was often changes leaving our purpose in the beginning far behind.
None of us plan to be with someone to later be alone.
But we all must not dwell but think of ways to correct on what possibly went wrong.
Bad choices, never thinking, changes over time. I can tell you this be it in this one or my next.
All future relationships must be met with our brother Jesus, with our fathers ultimate blessing from God and this does not matter on any kind.
KBF
2007-His Mere Child(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Thursday, July 19, 2007
His Mere Child
Category: Religion and Philosophy
His Mere Child
Tired are the bones growing weak
For the Lord says the earth will be
Inherited by the meek.
Abba I cry out to you;
Just give me a sign of what next to do.
This is a world so bitter, angry as a disturbed nest of killer bees.
How much more should they give, how much more will they take.
How do we rightfully ask for your mercy, love and grace?
Thank you for the faith that runs deep, within me,
For I am making it through the layers' yet times I feel as I am losing ground, as drowning in the red sea.
Abba I cry out. Jehovah Lord God,
There is so much more then me when it comes to you.
I stand tall, amongst all the obstacles, fighting my way through.
Yet I know with a whisper or even a shout.
I am not worthy enough for your reign in this life long drought.
Abba I cry out to you; just give me a sign of what next to do.
Let me be your light,
A beacon so bright that all will see you're glorious might.
For there is no better glory then you reveal,
I am living in this world, knowing only in you I have been healed.
I know there is no greater sorrow, of what if's worries of tomorrow
Or the pain, of being lost.
To acknowledge we all have been blessed;
To give it all to Jesus, for he has paid the infinite cost.
Abba I cry out. Jehovah Lord God, there is so much more then me
when it comes to you.
I pray for the lost souls
Ask for your great commission
To live, love, laugh. Stepping up where you require me too~
For there is no greater peace accepting the ultimate divine.
As you have answered every single prayer of mine, every single time.
Thank you Jesus! The Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
May all be as blessed as I, working through all suffering with despair.
With faith so strong, unconditional love that no words need be said, when moving forward moving on. With abilities as You to see, taste and hear.
Most importantly for me always to forever care.
kbf 7-2007
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me Kelly
His Mere Child
Category: Religion and Philosophy
His Mere Child
Tired are the bones growing weak
For the Lord says the earth will be
Inherited by the meek.
Abba I cry out to you;
Just give me a sign of what next to do.
This is a world so bitter, angry as a disturbed nest of killer bees.
How much more should they give, how much more will they take.
How do we rightfully ask for your mercy, love and grace?
Thank you for the faith that runs deep, within me,
For I am making it through the layers' yet times I feel as I am losing ground, as drowning in the red sea.
Abba I cry out. Jehovah Lord God,
There is so much more then me when it comes to you.
I stand tall, amongst all the obstacles, fighting my way through.
Yet I know with a whisper or even a shout.
I am not worthy enough for your reign in this life long drought.
Abba I cry out to you; just give me a sign of what next to do.
Let me be your light,
A beacon so bright that all will see you're glorious might.
For there is no better glory then you reveal,
I am living in this world, knowing only in you I have been healed.
I know there is no greater sorrow, of what if's worries of tomorrow
Or the pain, of being lost.
To acknowledge we all have been blessed;
To give it all to Jesus, for he has paid the infinite cost.
Abba I cry out. Jehovah Lord God, there is so much more then me
when it comes to you.
I pray for the lost souls
Ask for your great commission
To live, love, laugh. Stepping up where you require me too~
For there is no greater peace accepting the ultimate divine.
As you have answered every single prayer of mine, every single time.
Thank you Jesus! The Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
May all be as blessed as I, working through all suffering with despair.
With faith so strong, unconditional love that no words need be said, when moving forward moving on. With abilities as You to see, taste and hear.
Most importantly for me always to forever care.
kbf 7-2007
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me Kelly
2007 - EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Everything happens for a reason
Category: Religion and Philosophy
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
BUT IF YOU MUST ANALYZE AND LIVE BY A PHILOSOPHY... LIFE IN CONTEXT WOULD BE:
IN BACK OF EVERY NOBLE LIFE THERE ARE PRINCIPLES THAT FASHIONED IT.
BASED ON MISSIONS, ROLES, GOALS, PROACTIVITY.
BEGINNINGS WITH AN END IN MIND, PUTTING FIRST THINGS FIRST, THINKING WIN-WIN.
SEEKING FIRST TO UNDERSTAND BEFORE BEING UNDERSTOOD.
SYNERGIZING AND TO DO WHAT THE EXPERTS CALL THE CONTINUAL CIRCLE OF LIFE.
BETTER KNOWN AS SHARPENING THE SAW; IN THE DIMENSION OF RENEWAL WITH AND ONLY THROUGH JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR GUIDE.
AFTER ALL IT WAS HE WHO DIED TO ALLOW US LIFE
Everything happens for a reason
Category: Religion and Philosophy
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
BUT IF YOU MUST ANALYZE AND LIVE BY A PHILOSOPHY... LIFE IN CONTEXT WOULD BE:
IN BACK OF EVERY NOBLE LIFE THERE ARE PRINCIPLES THAT FASHIONED IT.
BASED ON MISSIONS, ROLES, GOALS, PROACTIVITY.
BEGINNINGS WITH AN END IN MIND, PUTTING FIRST THINGS FIRST, THINKING WIN-WIN.
SEEKING FIRST TO UNDERSTAND BEFORE BEING UNDERSTOOD.
SYNERGIZING AND TO DO WHAT THE EXPERTS CALL THE CONTINUAL CIRCLE OF LIFE.
BETTER KNOWN AS SHARPENING THE SAW; IN THE DIMENSION OF RENEWAL WITH AND ONLY THROUGH JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR GUIDE.
AFTER ALL IT WAS HE WHO DIED TO ALLOW US LIFE
2008-Who Am I (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Who Am I;
I shall clarify; I am someone who has been there done that and choose not to return to what has no meaning.
When I love, I love with all I have.
When I speak with you; it is because I have opened my heart in trust. For I can hold conversations with everyone willingly or as a must. I am good at it and do it very much. But when we speak in confidence.
I don't expect to hear what was said come out of someone else's mouth or pen.
I have no hidden agenda's I can talk with anyone and shall answer with my own voice. So why would it be right to allow gossip, share information, noise to be accepted and expect me to trust you to be a so called friend.
My life it is what it is. As I have been there done that and choose not to go back again.
If you choose to end my trust you shall never be part of my life or considered a friend. Saying hey in passing is not even a beginning.
If you are concerned I suggest you come to me; and make sure your reasons for concern are nothing more then being involved as a busy bee. As we have all heard misery always loves company.
Don't try pulling me in on that ride. Because I am on a mission to live. No joke no lie!
I will never be rude; or call you out. But I shall not back down either; There is no doubt.
There are some I have known and love for my entire life. May not always see or speak with them for years but they will always tell you I am straight and fear not but appreciate.
So don't over judge or under estimate.
I have been told my heart is too big. Even when it was failing and they didn't know how long I would make it or if I could live.
But all in all I will do my best; Until you try to consume me in your mess. or if you routinely expect my kindness.
I am not perfect; in fact just a mare human.
And no matter how often I conversate or even pray for you. You are a stranger and shall always be.
For anything more will be work; and nothing good in this life is for free. For all good there is sacrafice. I will when I choose always pay my price.
I am far from perfect; doing as much as I can when I can where I can. I love my family, my children,with every breath I receive. MY God has blessed me; no matter who you think you are or what you can give or bring.
So with that said. There is only one Judge I answer too.
I can assure you with all due respect. It is not You.
I may care for you, wishing to be your friend, through to the end. But let's clarify ~ you owe me nothing nor do I you.
So I suggest if you wish to know me ~ no matter what; always be you, always be true, always step up, always treat me with respect, with trust, with the love that I show you. Don't assume there is a reason behind my actions that pertain to anything more then just wanting to share moments with or for you.
I love people, I love places, I love things.
But due to history; I am where I am! And honestly will in the future change but for now just fine with JUST ME.
The world is a messed up place.
sometimes I take it too serious some time can't keep the smile off my face.
But with all of everything thing! I am able to work through it. Thanks to God's Love, God's Mercy; God's Grace. For me just knowing of His word That of God; Jesus, of what for thousands of years He has done, He does and will always bring. You have to be open to hear the words and understand before you can sing.
So for me; People may come people may go. Real physical loving relationships I may or may never know.
You can do allot to me; and try to ruin things right from the start.
But you can never take my blessings or the love with and for what is good, and kind, what is God deep within my heart.
My life; My choices; No hidden agenda's brain washed mystical voices.
Pray for me; AS I for you; wish you abundent blessings of nothing but good.
I shall clarify; I am someone who has been there done that and choose not to return to what has no meaning.
When I love, I love with all I have.
When I speak with you; it is because I have opened my heart in trust. For I can hold conversations with everyone willingly or as a must. I am good at it and do it very much. But when we speak in confidence.
I don't expect to hear what was said come out of someone else's mouth or pen.
I have no hidden agenda's I can talk with anyone and shall answer with my own voice. So why would it be right to allow gossip, share information, noise to be accepted and expect me to trust you to be a so called friend.
My life it is what it is. As I have been there done that and choose not to go back again.
If you choose to end my trust you shall never be part of my life or considered a friend. Saying hey in passing is not even a beginning.
If you are concerned I suggest you come to me; and make sure your reasons for concern are nothing more then being involved as a busy bee. As we have all heard misery always loves company.
Don't try pulling me in on that ride. Because I am on a mission to live. No joke no lie!
I will never be rude; or call you out. But I shall not back down either; There is no doubt.
There are some I have known and love for my entire life. May not always see or speak with them for years but they will always tell you I am straight and fear not but appreciate.
So don't over judge or under estimate.
I have been told my heart is too big. Even when it was failing and they didn't know how long I would make it or if I could live.
But all in all I will do my best; Until you try to consume me in your mess. or if you routinely expect my kindness.
I am not perfect; in fact just a mare human.
And no matter how often I conversate or even pray for you. You are a stranger and shall always be.
For anything more will be work; and nothing good in this life is for free. For all good there is sacrafice. I will when I choose always pay my price.
I am far from perfect; doing as much as I can when I can where I can. I love my family, my children,with every breath I receive. MY God has blessed me; no matter who you think you are or what you can give or bring.
So with that said. There is only one Judge I answer too.
I can assure you with all due respect. It is not You.
I may care for you, wishing to be your friend, through to the end. But let's clarify ~ you owe me nothing nor do I you.
So I suggest if you wish to know me ~ no matter what; always be you, always be true, always step up, always treat me with respect, with trust, with the love that I show you. Don't assume there is a reason behind my actions that pertain to anything more then just wanting to share moments with or for you.
I love people, I love places, I love things.
But due to history; I am where I am! And honestly will in the future change but for now just fine with JUST ME.
The world is a messed up place.
sometimes I take it too serious some time can't keep the smile off my face.
But with all of everything thing! I am able to work through it. Thanks to God's Love, God's Mercy; God's Grace. For me just knowing of His word That of God; Jesus, of what for thousands of years He has done, He does and will always bring. You have to be open to hear the words and understand before you can sing.
So for me; People may come people may go. Real physical loving relationships I may or may never know.
You can do allot to me; and try to ruin things right from the start.
But you can never take my blessings or the love with and for what is good, and kind, what is God deep within my heart.
My life; My choices; No hidden agenda's brain washed mystical voices.
Pray for me; AS I for you; wish you abundent blessings of nothing but good.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
2002-ADULTRY FOOD POISONING OF THE MENU(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Oh! How they say within a commitment it is okay to look but never
touch.
But what happens when one falters’ and acts as such.
Hearts broken, tears cried. Only hearing excuses, lies as to why.
What is it in this world we live? O so much more taken then one is
Willing to give?
I say yes it is okay to always view the menu.
But never ever sample the plate.
For the poisoning you will suffer; will not endure the pain that
always turns something, once so beautiful into hate.
If you are not sure, if you just don't care, about anyone anywhere.
At least think about your pleasure is someone else's hard work,
dedication, life. You will have ruined with this affair.
Remembering the devastation created, that will someday come back and
Capture you in its snare!
Copyright ©2009 KELLY FAIRFIELD
touch.
But what happens when one falters’ and acts as such.
Hearts broken, tears cried. Only hearing excuses, lies as to why.
What is it in this world we live? O so much more taken then one is
Willing to give?
I say yes it is okay to always view the menu.
But never ever sample the plate.
For the poisoning you will suffer; will not endure the pain that
always turns something, once so beautiful into hate.
If you are not sure, if you just don't care, about anyone anywhere.
At least think about your pleasure is someone else's hard work,
dedication, life. You will have ruined with this affair.
Remembering the devastation created, that will someday come back and
Capture you in its snare!
Copyright ©2009 KELLY FAIRFIELD
2008-The Balancing Act(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
How often we imagine just what it would be like on the other side.
How often are we holding good in one hand;
Out weighed in the other, by mishaps, or problems.
Learning how fast without faith, things won't make sense.
As nothing good will ever be recognized much less seem to last.
So many unnecessary struggles, craving for that piece of mind.
The balancing act can be far too long, wasting so much time.
I tell you now seek our God almighty quickly, as fast as you can.
For once you do; soon all the pains you struggle with, will subside.
There will be an UN describable peace that comes
As you too will have life balanced; when you feel our Lords great divine.
Copyright ©2008 Kelly B Fairfield
How often are we holding good in one hand;
Out weighed in the other, by mishaps, or problems.
Learning how fast without faith, things won't make sense.
As nothing good will ever be recognized much less seem to last.
So many unnecessary struggles, craving for that piece of mind.
The balancing act can be far too long, wasting so much time.
I tell you now seek our God almighty quickly, as fast as you can.
For once you do; soon all the pains you struggle with, will subside.
There will be an UN describable peace that comes
As you too will have life balanced; when you feel our Lords great divine.
Copyright ©2008 Kelly B Fairfield
2005 -There is no wrong in choosing one's life (PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
For we are all pawns in this life of ridicule.
Statistics have proven year in and out.
It has never been any different for me, so why would it be for you.
Stop being mad, or flipping out!
Stuck; in this whirl wind, the never ending rush.
Never any stability, value, or true happiness do they find.
Always grasping what is wrong; trying to fill empty hearts or minds.
Dependents no different an end result is yours and mine.
How much are you willing to give up, lose, battle for this life.
Choose very carefully, your allies remember those pains you feel.
Those tears are cried:
For no matter how lost you become,
there are those who will always love.
Most importantly our father has sent his only son, to sacrifice.
Reach out to him, now when you just wish to hide.
There will never be any worthy judges, but HIS gracious Devine.
Copyright ©2005 Kelly B Fairfield
Statistics have proven year in and out.
It has never been any different for me, so why would it be for you.
Stop being mad, or flipping out!
Stuck; in this whirl wind, the never ending rush.
Never any stability, value, or true happiness do they find.
Always grasping what is wrong; trying to fill empty hearts or minds.
Dependents no different an end result is yours and mine.
How much are you willing to give up, lose, battle for this life.
Choose very carefully, your allies remember those pains you feel.
Those tears are cried:
For no matter how lost you become,
there are those who will always love.
Most importantly our father has sent his only son, to sacrifice.
Reach out to him, now when you just wish to hide.
There will never be any worthy judges, but HIS gracious Devine.
Copyright ©2005 Kelly B Fairfield
Sunday, April 5, 2009
2009-The Little things that count(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
Well what a great sermon today about ego. How we eventually make everything personal and about us. Even when we strive to keep it about God.
I know I personally thought I was doing an awesome job about making my life God filled. And I have grown and changed by leaps and bounds.
But funny how we don't even know that we make things about us and not just wait and listen for the spirit to fill us.
The little things that count. I have changed wanting and getting everything from the material world. At one point that was all I had to matter. I sadly raised my children that way too and I can tell you they are learning and thankfully watching me now and not letting it bring them down.
But even when you stop getting all the latest gadgets and gizmos. Name brand clothes what about our reaction when someone in traffic cuts us off. Or for me convicted. As I sat in the ER yesterday all day waiting for the doctors to fix my thumb that appearantly was bitten by a spider during the night and became PAINFULLY swollen and hurt so bad I could not move it without pain and trobbing.
So because I am all about following through. I go to pre setup the Vine Cafe and me and my granddaughter go to the ER.
Sure you would think I made a committment to serve and could not just go without trying to fulfill my committment. Even though I was able to get a dear friend to cover for me.
Yet in the hospital hours of sitting waiting to just be seen much less release me and advise what can fix the thumb. I personally would have settled if they just cut it open and take out what ever was causing this issue. After all I recently just got a clean bill of health. I had been really good about not over doing anything anymore. And now this.
Yet when the doctor came back and really didn't believe I was in any danger as soon as the nurse wasn't busy he would release me. And didn't know if I just woke to a sudden case of rhumatoid arthritis or I had some infection. Even though all the signs showed infection.
It was then I started pacing asking God what is the message Lord I am to get out of this trial. If they are not going to do anything for me I had things to do, I was to be back at the Vine and my discomfort was then telling the Lord how unfair it was to have my granddaughter sitting there with me watching me in pain and them not be able to to a thing.
She is such a sweet caring soul already what was this lesson.
Then in today's message Ego and it really not being a God thing yesterday but me really close of making it a me thing. Do I walk out, do I show my anger, how do I teach my granddaughter the proper way to react in this case. YES all those things going through my head.
Then I remember back when my children were growing up, I would have been quick to snap and well it was all about me.
Finally I convince the doctor I really have been well. I have not done anything to strain the thumb any days previous I just woke up and it was that way and when I got home I looked around and found part of a spider on the floor next to the bed. I must have mushed it or something in my sleep. And not to mention I just had surgery a couple years prior and I really can not afford to wait a few more days for something worse to happen.
So am I that person quick to judge in traffic, or scanning for the quickest line in the market and get frustrated when the line takes longer. Yes unfortunately. No matter how much better I struggle to be. I still fall short along with many of my peers, friends, family. I pray I get better at this. Especially when un-meaningfully I quickly judge others when they are throwing their temper tantrum.
As for my granddaughter hopefully my telling her sometimes there just are no answers will someday have meaning. Thank you Jesus for showing what that visit at the ER was suppose to mean.
Now can you make my thumb heal quickly?
Because as I slowly get those big things out of my way. I truly find the little things will always have more lasting meaning then I could ever appreciate in this life time. Including living without pain. For I am not the tough what you gonna do kid from the streets any longer.
I just pray for simple loving memories, family and friends.
Thank you
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me Kelly
I know I personally thought I was doing an awesome job about making my life God filled. And I have grown and changed by leaps and bounds.
But funny how we don't even know that we make things about us and not just wait and listen for the spirit to fill us.
The little things that count. I have changed wanting and getting everything from the material world. At one point that was all I had to matter. I sadly raised my children that way too and I can tell you they are learning and thankfully watching me now and not letting it bring them down.
But even when you stop getting all the latest gadgets and gizmos. Name brand clothes what about our reaction when someone in traffic cuts us off. Or for me convicted. As I sat in the ER yesterday all day waiting for the doctors to fix my thumb that appearantly was bitten by a spider during the night and became PAINFULLY swollen and hurt so bad I could not move it without pain and trobbing.
So because I am all about following through. I go to pre setup the Vine Cafe and me and my granddaughter go to the ER.
Sure you would think I made a committment to serve and could not just go without trying to fulfill my committment. Even though I was able to get a dear friend to cover for me.
Yet in the hospital hours of sitting waiting to just be seen much less release me and advise what can fix the thumb. I personally would have settled if they just cut it open and take out what ever was causing this issue. After all I recently just got a clean bill of health. I had been really good about not over doing anything anymore. And now this.
Yet when the doctor came back and really didn't believe I was in any danger as soon as the nurse wasn't busy he would release me. And didn't know if I just woke to a sudden case of rhumatoid arthritis or I had some infection. Even though all the signs showed infection.
It was then I started pacing asking God what is the message Lord I am to get out of this trial. If they are not going to do anything for me I had things to do, I was to be back at the Vine and my discomfort was then telling the Lord how unfair it was to have my granddaughter sitting there with me watching me in pain and them not be able to to a thing.
She is such a sweet caring soul already what was this lesson.
Then in today's message Ego and it really not being a God thing yesterday but me really close of making it a me thing. Do I walk out, do I show my anger, how do I teach my granddaughter the proper way to react in this case. YES all those things going through my head.
Then I remember back when my children were growing up, I would have been quick to snap and well it was all about me.
Finally I convince the doctor I really have been well. I have not done anything to strain the thumb any days previous I just woke up and it was that way and when I got home I looked around and found part of a spider on the floor next to the bed. I must have mushed it or something in my sleep. And not to mention I just had surgery a couple years prior and I really can not afford to wait a few more days for something worse to happen.
So am I that person quick to judge in traffic, or scanning for the quickest line in the market and get frustrated when the line takes longer. Yes unfortunately. No matter how much better I struggle to be. I still fall short along with many of my peers, friends, family. I pray I get better at this. Especially when un-meaningfully I quickly judge others when they are throwing their temper tantrum.
As for my granddaughter hopefully my telling her sometimes there just are no answers will someday have meaning. Thank you Jesus for showing what that visit at the ER was suppose to mean.
Now can you make my thumb heal quickly?
Because as I slowly get those big things out of my way. I truly find the little things will always have more lasting meaning then I could ever appreciate in this life time. Including living without pain. For I am not the tough what you gonna do kid from the streets any longer.
I just pray for simple loving memories, family and friends.
Thank you
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me Kelly
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
2009-When I Say I am Christian
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When I Say "I Am A Christian"
by Carol Wimmer
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way."
When I say..."I am a Christian"
don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way."
When I say..."I am a Christian"
don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
2009-Waking Moments(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)
As I wake early this morning like every other morning.
I find myself thinking.
Most times I wake and have gotten in the habit of giving thanks to our God as soon as I know I am awake.
But this morning my thoughts were in every direction
As I lay there and wonder; why I kept coming back to a task at hand.
You see Florida's weather has been colder for longer periods of time this season.
With that the wonderful critters that dwell in the earth here are looking for warmth, water or who knows what.
As you see I am not one that does bugs well at all. So I only know that over this past month, I have been seeing big red ants appear in my one bath room one - two at a time here and there.
Except for the past couple days they have been bringing their family members now 3 and for at at time.
So here I am awake trying to talk myself out of getting out of bed for once.
Yet I find myself back in the bathroom turning the bathroom light on quickly to see what is in there and where might these unwelcomed guests be coming from.
God's creatures as like all creepy crawly things including us.
I managed to find 5 this time, and found myself climbing to reach the ceiling to kill each and everyone.
Again cleaning down the bathroom and spraying cleaners down the drain pipes.
Yet I still can not find the location of entry for these pests.
Then it comes to me, just how often before I really turned my life over the spirit, did I come so close to getting in.
Yet for one thing or another I was caught up in this world. And I too crushed the opportunity of the many blessings I now live, breath and enjoy daily.
My mind then goes wandering to prayers of thanks for our God never gave up on me.
Along with the repeated prayers that my children and grandchildren will be allowed the blessings, the courage and life to know the truth.
That they will continue to use the freedom of choice we all are blessed with.
Picking up and reading the Basic Instructions Before Life Ends the Bible!
Grant it I don't read it still today as often as I should. Just as I find my learning of what most of it means allot easier in a class where many others as myself share the learning, and questions of what is sometimes not so easy to swallow.
And for me that is okay! Because the life's blessings that have come my way alone, just from believing. Are truely amazing.
So here I sit, wondering why I am a morning person.
If I have lost my mind over time getting up searching to see where ants may be getting in to my home.
To then have my mind awakened with knowledge and truth; and many many thanks that our heavenly father is not a throw away father. As my own biological father was.
Or as many parents have come to be in this world.
As I pray
Dear Lord that the angels of protection; accountability; grace and love come down and walk with my children and grand child or children to come.
I pray they do not take so long to understand and openly hold on to you.
I pray Lord I continue to have the strength for all things that are to come.
Especially for withstanding when the ants come in.
When I see the critters making their way into my childrens lives and I can do nothing.
As they in the world devour the spirits, like fresh cane sugar for their little ant feast.
Lord for you have blessed me beyond all words, in this life.
I pray my family and friends never stop believing in hope with you in the future.
And if they don't understand or can not ready themselves to ask for you.
Lord may the light shine to take away their fears.
Thank you Jesus
In His Precious Name... May we the critters of this life know our place, and continue to serve the God most high!
Amen
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me Kelly
I find myself thinking.
Most times I wake and have gotten in the habit of giving thanks to our God as soon as I know I am awake.
But this morning my thoughts were in every direction
As I lay there and wonder; why I kept coming back to a task at hand.
You see Florida's weather has been colder for longer periods of time this season.
With that the wonderful critters that dwell in the earth here are looking for warmth, water or who knows what.
As you see I am not one that does bugs well at all. So I only know that over this past month, I have been seeing big red ants appear in my one bath room one - two at a time here and there.
Except for the past couple days they have been bringing their family members now 3 and for at at time.
So here I am awake trying to talk myself out of getting out of bed for once.
Yet I find myself back in the bathroom turning the bathroom light on quickly to see what is in there and where might these unwelcomed guests be coming from.
God's creatures as like all creepy crawly things including us.
I managed to find 5 this time, and found myself climbing to reach the ceiling to kill each and everyone.
Again cleaning down the bathroom and spraying cleaners down the drain pipes.
Yet I still can not find the location of entry for these pests.
Then it comes to me, just how often before I really turned my life over the spirit, did I come so close to getting in.
Yet for one thing or another I was caught up in this world. And I too crushed the opportunity of the many blessings I now live, breath and enjoy daily.
My mind then goes wandering to prayers of thanks for our God never gave up on me.
Along with the repeated prayers that my children and grandchildren will be allowed the blessings, the courage and life to know the truth.
That they will continue to use the freedom of choice we all are blessed with.
Picking up and reading the Basic Instructions Before Life Ends the Bible!
Grant it I don't read it still today as often as I should. Just as I find my learning of what most of it means allot easier in a class where many others as myself share the learning, and questions of what is sometimes not so easy to swallow.
And for me that is okay! Because the life's blessings that have come my way alone, just from believing. Are truely amazing.
So here I sit, wondering why I am a morning person.
If I have lost my mind over time getting up searching to see where ants may be getting in to my home.
To then have my mind awakened with knowledge and truth; and many many thanks that our heavenly father is not a throw away father. As my own biological father was.
Or as many parents have come to be in this world.
As I pray
Dear Lord that the angels of protection; accountability; grace and love come down and walk with my children and grand child or children to come.
I pray they do not take so long to understand and openly hold on to you.
I pray Lord I continue to have the strength for all things that are to come.
Especially for withstanding when the ants come in.
When I see the critters making their way into my childrens lives and I can do nothing.
As they in the world devour the spirits, like fresh cane sugar for their little ant feast.
Lord for you have blessed me beyond all words, in this life.
I pray my family and friends never stop believing in hope with you in the future.
And if they don't understand or can not ready themselves to ask for you.
Lord may the light shine to take away their fears.
Thank you Jesus
In His Precious Name... May we the critters of this life know our place, and continue to serve the God most high!
Amen
With all that I am, All that I was always then, always now, always me Kelly
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