11.12.2021_November(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains, and made available for public consumption from public domains such as YouTube and/or BibleGateway, unless otherwise called out work of other Copywrites, Creators, Influences, Artists or Authors. ***     Per Google.com online findings:    BibleGateway.com  is a searchable online Bible in more than 200 versions and 70 languages that you can freely read, research, and reference anywhere. And YouTube.com is a video sharing service that allows users to watch videos posted by other users and upload videos of their own. 

Date: Friday November – 12^th

Meditation Opportunities coming from Biblegateway.com The Daily Verse

Colossians 1:9 (AMP) Amplified Bible

⁹ For this reason, since the day we heard about it, we have not stopped praying for you, asking [specifically] that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom [with insight into His purposes], and in understanding [of spiritual things],

Colossians 1:9 (MSG) The Message

^15-17 Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.

Read full chapter

Thought Movers, Motivations Touching to the Soul coming from YouTube.com

We Are Messengers - Holding On

Ryan Stevenson - Heart and Soul of Christmas

Matthew McConaughey - We Are All One In Jesus Christ - 10 Minutes for the NEXT 50 Years of Your LIFE

RICHLIN - Royal Blood

Kevin Quinn - I'm Still Breathing

Someone Like You - Adele

Keith Urban - Soul Food

Madea - Let Them Go (Life Changing Advice)

Dido - White Flag

Tasha Layton // I Got You

 

Thinking Out Loud – Journal Thoughts/Prayers / Mind Maze Overflow

You are beautiful; we are uniquely and beautifully made and when our souls dance to the rhythms of unheard harmony and beats of all the desires that drive our imaginations, wants and sometimes forgetful boundaries.

All created for so much more than we can ever live up to in Christ Jesus.  Yet, he has never changed his truths.

The same royal blood that God allowed his one and only son come down to show us how hard it will be yet brilliantly fulfilling if only.

Many have let go so long back; while others acknowledge there is purpose in the pain and never let go, forever holding on to what will and can be.

Because of you all that bleeds out or flows deep within the veins and because of Christ Jesus if we are allowed up again this very day we get to live, love, learn and laugh allowing our heart to beat and just keep fighting forward.

Everyone of us so different yet so very the same and beyond necessary to Gods’ perfect plan.

He; God the Father, Christ Jesus the Son and the living Holy Spirit are and always will be the reason for life and every season.   

Now if only we just call upon Him and open that door for something more, something better.

How often we don’t get it and instead just keep spinning in what hurts instead.

Long before meeting Jesus, after much humility and cruel spirits in this world I learned to adopt to never just show up uninvited.   

 

Does that hold me back or leave me at places I wish I was not at times?   Maybe!  

However, no regrets. Sometimes that pain of lessons in this life just allow purpose to keep wanting more, wanting better, wanting pure authenticity.   Even if its hard to recognize anymore.

Truth is I am right where I am supposed to be.

 

 As every single one of us have that ability to wake up and make the change needed and also recognize they are too.

 

For real although I love Madea and that funny this character brings always.   The bottom line Let Them Go!  If something is meant to be it will!    

 Emotionally, physically; be it something we want so badly we make it up in our mind or something others pretend into life or that real earth shaking never ever to be forgotten.   

Whatever is will be and whatever is not; LET IT HURT, LET IT HEAL, BUT ABSOLUTELY LET IT GO.   Cheers Madea!!!

As for me, well I am a work in progress as you are every day given.   And I will never surrender without fighting for more than just the next breath of air.

It may not look like much from the outside world.   But there has never been anyone knocking down my door to say let me get that, let me help you with that.     In fact, and I am not mad, even in the hurts at time.   It has always been what can others get from me.      For this and all that have been allowed to overcome.    I give thanks that God has found me worthy of life to carry on with the will and passion to keep wanting and trying.

Maybe for those he puts in my path to help assist and lead, maybe just for his own entertainment to see if I could ever really make it.    No one  really knows why anything is what it is besides the choices we make there is always a guaranteed result.   Good, bad, or indifferent.     None of it matters even if the world has many that are willing to make you believe something positive or negative of the outcome.

 

Me I want to lay down on that mountain or in the stream of his pure and perfect protection of Christ Jesus showing me what love, and life really mean.  Being bathed in his mercy and abundant grace.    Maybe someday you will be there laying next to me reaching for the stars, grasping on all the beauty that surrounds the depths of all life can bring.    Never say never but stop pretending and make the changes you need to do more than just breathe.

We all have been blessed with the freedom to choose even if we cannot act upon it.  We get to choose. And once we do in Him, with Him all things are possible.   Remember you cannot take any of this world with you when you go.  And we all will check out at some point.  Some far sooner than we want to let go.   Others not soon enough.   But all in God’s timing.   No matter what we all have purpose and are loved by the same power that God created Jesus, he created us.   For love and abundant life.

 

I am not the only one feeling what I am feeling, maybe just the only one that dumps out this mind maze on a public platform knowing although they cannot see me; they see within the spirit has been breathing life into me.  

 

It is what is until it is not.   Nothing changes that but you.  You get to change what is and what is not.    You owe no one anything so stop filling your days, nights with false hopes and empty promises.    Fill it with truth and eternal peace calling upon Jesus to come live deep within.

Tasha Layton // Look What You've Done

 

 

11.11.2021_November(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains, and made available for public consumption from public domains such as YouTube and/or BibleGateway, unless otherwise called out work of other Copywrites, Creators, Influences, Artists or Authors. ***     Per Google.com online findings:    BibleGateway.com  is a searchable online Bible in more than 200 versions and 70 languages that you can freely read, research, and reference anywhere. And YouTube.com is a video sharing service that allows users to watch videos posted by other users and upload videos of their own. 

Date: Thursday November – 11th     

 Thought Movers, Motivations Touching to the Soul coming from YouTube.com

TobyMac - Til The Day I Die (Lyric Video) ft. NF

Casting Crowns - God of All My Days

Third Day - Your Love Oh Lord

DC Talk - What if I stumble

Help Is On The Way (Maybe Midnight) -TobyMac// Faith Moves//Christian Dance Fitness

Austin French - Freedom Hymn

 

Thinking Out Loud – Journal Thoughts/Prayers / Mind Maze Overflow

Thank you to all the Veterans out here in the world who have given up everything willingly to protect the freedoms of our Nation.     For all who will never be known, the many who will never truly have gratitude for such sacrifices and freedom we are allowed.   Even if we look like we are throwing it all away.     

 

 Thank you, Jesus, for your willingness to go to the cross and believe in humanity.   Thank you to all the souls given and fighting even right here right now who stand in honor to defend our gift of life.

Man, I am reading today’s daily verse shared below and I have to say it is even hard to read and know we should die to ourselves and live for the graces we are given. 

Wanting to fulfill the desires that sometimes get the better of us.  Wanting all the latest and greatest and go places and see things.    

Then we look around; well, some of us anyway and see just how much the love for fame, fortune, and having so much that replaces our own being we become stuck chasing and holding onto what we have made idols and left with no regards for human life at all.    We think we are too important or above all else because of the status the demons have carried us to; all the while they were sucking the life of who we really are out and not just what we do or have.

It is a fine line to want love so badly we chase it and end up in wrong relationships that we didn’t see because we were so blinded by our wants.   Yes, not everyone does.  But there is no shame in my game.   Growing up without that family unit from a very young age I had just wanted to be really loved and be able to love back.    That put me in dire situations used, broken and bitter.   But also, if I think about it also made me a fighter to keep fighting forward for something better.

I might have held allot of anger for years in general at users and abusers as well as even myself for being so gullible too often.

But when I realized I was never alone or never had been it was like a light into a whole new world went off.

 

 I wish I could blame my choices on my circumstances or even choices of others.

I mean let’s face it for every soul that was always out there ready to condemn and tell me what right I had to live a certain way or even when I was a young mother of a 5-year-old at 22 and pregnant to have my second.  Being condemned and questioned by those who were supposed to help encourage, but instead condemn me for wanting to keep the second child I was going to have and still being unmarried.    That I would never amount to anything and what life would that be for my children.   Yeah;  22 broken, sick, and ready to have another child and the man of my dreams like the first 5 years before not interested in a life relationship; they were just having fun.

 

Well then being I pretty much raised myself and had to fight my way all my existence just allowed me to use it to prove them wrong.

Not only to make something of myself they did not see, but also like the ladder of you can do anything when you believe.  

Stepping on all those let downs and broken hopes I put in to obtain from others as steps.

 

What all those naysayers never realized that I had nothing to live for until I had my children.

I knew by age 16 if I did not have purpose, I would die very young.  From drug overdose to cruelty at the hands of others to having guns put to my head, to being pulled out of the bottom of a pool or just finding my way back out of the woods. 

My journey changed before I was even old enough to know what life could be. 

Human trafficking was just starting out back in my day and it was not so much trafficking it was just sick twisted minds taking and forcing themselves on children who believed in them. 

 Cowardly at that; not all offenders are straight forward most will wait until you are sleeping or in a situation that they have you where you cannot freely escape.    What does not kill you only makes you stronger and if your wise enough to see the choices that can be made you find and count your blessings.  And my thoughts even those sick minds that have to team up with people to steal young life and use and abuse them.   Well, they are just cowards and unable to acknowledge they were made for so much more and not be controlled by the demons that feed them.   Oh well that is an entirely different days conversation; but I can say this. 

Parents, guardians, and all who have taken the roll to raise up a child.   Never let them out of your sight because someone is always watching waiting to rip their lives apart and leave them for the vultures.  And if there is anything left, prayerfully they won’t become part of what has happened to them or absorbed into the world of masking and never seeing their full potential.

 

In today’s world anyone with a heart for humanity.   If you see something say something.  Even so-called parents are using and abusing the gift of life from the children they were blessed to have.

 

Anyway, soon after my grandmother dying when I was 9, she was cooking breakfast for my Aunt visiting with my newborn cousin and my other cousin and my Uncle when her robe caught on fire.   She died that day.

  My Aunt lived a couple weeks to a month with 95% of her body being burned as she jumped up and tried to put my grandmother out and they both ended up in the tub. 

I cannot imagine the pain they had immediately from fright and just the situation. 

I know the pain my Aunt had as I was able to visit her in the hospital once.   

Somewhat knowing the pain of losing or never having parents.

My one cousin never knew her mother, the other did.   Which is a greater loss?   

That I will never know.

 I know I never had a father until I met Jesus.  Even though my mother and father were married.  Mom married at 15 having my sister at 16 my brother at 18 and me at 20.  However, they were done by the time I came to the world.   I got it years later when at age 50 I learned life changing information as I always wondered why my mother and father always kept distant with me. 

Then when they split my mother had a break down; a kid losing the love of her life and well there were three kids left to learn how to grow up.

I could go into the details of the many reasons I could have become a statistic.

 The many reasons I could have hated humans or even justify any reasons by the worlds standards why I could do things to get even with the world and all those who cast judgement or tried to convince me to not think for myself.

The bottom line is, as many times as I tried to check out in my youth and teen years and maybe even in early adulthood.      God made it clear it was not my time.

It was not my time when I should have never made it home as a kid in the many situations that others consumed by demons tried to consume me.

Soon I need to get back on and finish and publish Blonde By Choice.  

There is just as much if not more here and now that allows me to look back into that fishbowl and realize just who was and always will be in control.    I don’t believe in luck. 

Happenstance yeah!  Sometimes and even fate.   But  I cannot explain any other way of how I have always been able to get back up and keep fighting forward and never losing my ability to love others.    Yes, Hell yes! I’m guarded and within reason dismissive.  

But even now as I watch the world spin around me, as my little hamster ball of life spins within.   I know that Jesus is the only reason that I am allowed to still see the beauty on the other side of the storms.

Just having the conversation, the other day with my child, and talking about the gutter mouth they have.    And me openly reminding them we have to purpose to change.   That I too use to have horrible language when people got me fired up.  And I reminded them I am far from perfect.    Still today especially driving and situations occur I still seek forgiveness.

But I am trying.    I purpose to care about not exposing littles around me with garbage spewing.  I care to always respect myself around others.

We have to want it and I get it.   I am sure that if I were put in the middle of the pit I would easily know how to fight and manage my way back out.    It does not make it right; it does not make it easy.    It makes it choices we get to either sink or swim.  We get to fight or fly.  Either away or with whatever or whoever we circle up with.

 

 

We are all out there making choices and sometimes thinking them through, others not.  Sometimes they have positive growth and results; sometimes they knock us down and we have to get back up.   Sometimes we are blessed and sometimes we feel like we are just never going to win.

 

All the time if he has allowed you back up another day.   You are blessed and Christ Jesus is waiting for you to call upon Him to walk within your spirit with you.    

When you do life changes, and all things are possible on the other side of any storm.

I can assure you although there is never ending stories of what should have never been.

The one factor that remains is we all get to choose until the day comes, we are no longer allowed back up.  At that point it is far too late.

Biblically speaking; you need to make the choice today where your soul will end up.

You need to live it out for whatever remaining time you have left.    And let’s face it.  If I am wrong and there is no heaven where my soul will be.  Then I live as a kindhearted clean forgiving work in progress in all the days I had on this earth.   Nothing is lost because I have lived in the best and worse situations, and I could have more but more gives me nothing but more trying to take what they are too lazy to work for.

If I am right and everything in the book written 2000 plus years ago is true, that Jesus my friend, my father, my brother my life sustaining breath in each exhale.   Then me anticipating the beauty of heaven now and all the minor glimpses on the way is so worth it; much less the abundant indescribable peace that fills me and allows me to keep putting one foot in front of the other knowing so much more is on its way.    Well either way I have already won.

Anyway, we all want something better, be it our physical or material desires.   Or at least I hope anyone I connect with do.  Just as I pray, I always have humble real authenticity in any relationships and the balance of when to hold on and when to let go.

Lord, hear the hearts and prayers and cries of those lifting their babies up.  Those who their babies made it to think for themselves and were lost to the demons that consumed them.   Lead all I am, all I am connected to you.   Guide, protect and show us your way and the light till the day we die.

Beyond all space and time there is no boundaries you will not take us.    Heal this world, wake us up.   Feed us all that is good, all that is pure all that has meaning in you.

 

Thank you for all that I have been or will be.   Right or wrong, Thank you!

Meditation Opportunities coming from Biblegateway.com The Daily Verse

1 John 2:15-16 (AMP) Amplified Bible

Do Not Love the World

¹⁵ Do not love the world [of sin that opposes God and His precepts], nor the things that are in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. ¹⁶ For all that is in the world—the lust and sensual craving of the flesh and the lust and longing of the eyes and the boastful pride of life [pretentious confidence in one’s resources or in the stability of earthly things]—these do not come from the Father but are from the world.

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1 John 2:15-16  (MSG) The Message

 

^15-17 Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.

Read full chapter

11.10.2021_November(PrayersThoughts_PiecesofMe_AlwaysMeKelly)

***Music, and/or daily scripture, verses, motivational shares pulled from public domains, and made available for public consumption from public domains such as YouTube and/or BibleGateway, unless otherwise called out work of other Copywrites, Creators, Influences, Artists or Authors. ***     Per Google.com online findings:    BibleGateway.com  is a searchable online Bible in more than 200 versions and 70 languages that you can freely read, research, and reference anywhere. And YouTube.com is a video sharing service that allows users to watch videos posted by other users and upload videos of their own. 

Date: Wednesday November – 10th  

Movers Motivations & Touches to the Soul (YouTube.Com)

Hollyn - i wasn't enough for you

Lauren Daigle - Remember mix

Brandon Heath - I'm Not Who I Was

Tasha Cobbs Leonard - Break Every Chain

Cochren & Co. - Don't Lose Hope

TobyMac - See The Light

 

Thought Movers, Motivations Touching to the Soul coming from YouTube.com

Some things will always be with you but never be the same. As I took the ride into the office after 19months yesterday to work awhile before I cleared out my desk and just reflected with some friends and co-workers I have not seen in a very long time outside the screen.

Everything even when none of it makes sense has purpose and change well it is inevitable.   No matter who we are or where we come from.

Together or separated we will see the light at the other end if we believe and keep looking up.  

Death lost its sting when Jesus took ALL the pain and sufferings of this world.  I just pray that He does not have to relive that torment over and over again for a falling world and our inadequacies or wrong doings that transpire every single day, every single moment somewhere by someone.

We will never be enough, do enough or anything enough to deserve the blessings of life.  I know there is not a 24/7 period I don’t screw up or forget to acknowledge all I have instead of what I may have lost or don’t have and wish I would of, I could of!

The saving grace is I am not held to the fire for the demons I choose to feed any given day; that is unless I choose to stay in the feeding frenzy zone.

 

We get to choose and remember what we want to fill the space up in our heads, our hearts. And what we choose to speak out and live out. Looking back, looking forward to what we do not know even if we think we have it all worked out and lined up.

But what happens when things out of our control take over, or people change and no longer or reflect who you just did not see?

Endless promises so many broken pieces that we allow to cut us and bleed out all over while slowly going cold. Or do we look past them and create a beautiful mosaic out of what was and remember just how good it is on the other side knowing there will always be something more than we deserve in and with Christ?

Well for me I called out, argued, and still remember the first day life was beyond hard, and I knew I had to choose to live or totally quit and leave.   That I screamed out at God and asked him what you want from me.  Nothing I did, nothing I consumed, nothing I was even though I was rocking it and had it together in the world’s eyes fed my soul.   Broken beyond compare and so lost in what I could not understand knowing the why or having the control to change any of it.    Had my business, was rocking out 100K a year and was surrounded by all these people having fun that were supposed to care.

Yet I was beyond empty and when I stopped playing into it, everyone and everything changed.

That is not when I committed to meet Jesus. In fact, that was just the beginning of many unanswered questions being reflected with why’s and the direction of losing myself to find the real me and knowing that no matter if I am not okay or worthy in the world’s eyes.   I am in the eyes of God.   I certainly am not who I was. I am not that one that carried the career and had it together but thought I needed others to fulfil what I never had.

 Or anyone trying to own, or control who I was supposed to be. Or for that matter anything I had achieved.

 Mores o, the fact that no matter what I gave it was never enough and always flawed so much that I had to be suppressed and degraded when I questioned or what I thought was dream out loud.

The day I realized there is so much more to life when you love people for who they are and not what they do or what they have.  But more importantly when you break the chains and only allow those to love you for who you are and not what you have or do.

We all live and die and sometimes in the life we are given we are so hell bent on living for what we think means something that we kill ourselves before ever realizing to truly live we must die to ourselves and find life in the maker of the universe through Christ Jesus.

We all get to choose; we all believe in something and no matter what it is in the end we all came in this world and we all will live. The difference is where will our soul be that keeps us alive in to relive eternity. In the burning, suffering, torment that is beyond anything this world can do. Or in the heavenly’s and bliss of everlasting love and bright hope to shine down for all left to journey when we are gone?

 

Perspective is everything in the eye of the beholder.  Just as control is an illusion.

The day comes when you cannot breathe because you allowed the world to own you.  Or you can never get enough if at all because the chase and race is real and someone else will always have more, be better, and so on.

Falling in to all those whose spirit fills the world with brighter days of hope and lifts those up and out just at that right time. Those who keep it real, those who truly say what they mean, mean what they say, and actions align.

There is no shortage of my misdeeds and /or moments when I ask God if I can line them up for the judgement. Knowing all too well if he allowed that I would have to be the first in the line.

Takes us a long time to get there and change daily, in so many ways be it we choose for something we think is better or we are forced to change because of things that happen out of our control that will forever impact us.

We can lay down; or we can keep fighting to grow forward.

 

I am not sure what my tomorrows will be. I know I have been blessed and I am weary to have to keep starting over or fighting so hard just to make it.   Weary of being on that balance beam without a physical net or anyone to spot me and know they will be there in the end.

But I also know that no matter what will happen God created me and all of us and all I have been allowed to be part of. To procreate and in Him, with Him is far better and meaningful then without.

 

I could dive in and talk about how to do things or what it is like to be an information technologist that tests software and how that happen.  I can dive in and talk about how I learned to run a chain saw taking it apart and putting it all back together.  Or how and what it was like to drive a Harley or just how I came to just start writing about nothing and everything sick I was a kid.

Perhaps create a self-help book and outline all the mistakes I have made in this world so that the next generation can read it and avoid them if they choose.

But Really!   Where would that get me.    I just like to think out loud and this is my venue.   Although yes, I need to start planning getting a different tool or carrier.   Maybe go back to taking everything from online and moving it to paper again where it was once only on paper and moved to online.

Is there any right or wrong answers for those that just breathe when they do what they love doing?

Unless it is harmful to those we are supposed to care about or those we come into connection heck now.

We are never too old to learn or too young to try. We should never let go of what breeds life and light and hope into our existence and perhaps others as well.

 

The beauty of the colors is relevant to the one seeking their palette to be filled.

No matter what may come or what has come to pass.   I pray you never lose hope all the while that I myself don’t get lost in the ruins.   But no matter what ever the case may turn out to be.

We will if we purpose forward; we will see the light, be it that up ahead from God’s angels sent along the path or our own for those also seeking his eminence.  In Christ Jesus, with Christ Jesus and all that we are created to be.

 

Meditation Opportunities coming from Biblegateway.com The Daily Verse

Job 37:5-6 (AMP) Amplified Bible

⁵ 
“God thunders marvelously with His voice;
He does great things which we cannot comprehend.
⁶ 
“For He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth’;
And [He speaks] to the showers and to the downpour [of His mighty rains], ‘Be strong.’

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Job 37:5-6  (MSG) The Message

 

37 ^1-13 “Whenever this happens, my heart stops—
    I’m stunned, I can’t catch my breath.
Listen to it! Listen to his thunder,
    the rolling, rumbling thunder of his voice.
He lets loose his lightnings from horizon to horizon,
    lighting up the earth from pole to pole.
In their wake, the thunder echoes his voice,
    powerful and majestic.
He lets out all the stops, he holds nothing back.
    No one can mistake that voice—
His word thundering so wondrously,
    his mighty acts staggering our understanding.
He orders the snow, ‘Blanket the earth!’
    and the rain, ‘Soak the whole countryside!’
No one can escape the weather—it’s there.
    And no one can escape from God.
Wild animals take shelter,
    crawling into their dens,
When blizzards roar out of the north
    and freezing rain crusts the land.
It’s God’s breath that forms the ice,
    it’s God’s breath that turns lakes and rivers solid.
And yes, it’s God who fills clouds with rainwater
    and hurls lightning from them every which way.
He puts them through their paces—first this way, then that—
    commands them to do what he says all over the world.
Whether for discipline or grace or extravagant love,
    he makes sure they make their mark.

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